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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27798607">We Found Wonderland</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK/pseuds/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK'>ICanSpellConfusionWithAK</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alice in Wonderland References, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Literary References &amp; Allusions, Romance, Sunset Curve (Julie and The Phantoms), Time Travel, living himbos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:34:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>197,229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27798607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK/pseuds/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of season one Julie isn’t able to save the boys and they are jolted out of existence. But what if there was another way? Julie finds herself back in 1995 with a chance to stop the boys of Sunset Curve from ever dying at all. But will she able to find her way home afterwards? Will she want to? Or has Alice really gone down the rabbit hole this time...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1936</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Beware, beware, little girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m back! 😁</p><p>If you’re here from my last JATP story Feels Like I’ve Opened My Eyes Again thank you for following me here! If this is your first time reading one of my stories welcome! </p><p>Much like my last story this will be a mix of romantic fluff, decently intense angst, found family dynamics and my attempts at humor. Now with bonus literary references and time travel plots! </p><p>This story will be much more Juke centric but the side characters will still get a lot of love because I can’t help it. </p><p>Enjoy the first chapter and look forward to more soon. Can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this concept! </p><p>We’re opening with a poem I wrote in the style of Lewis Carol so there’s that. Click through to the next chapter for the real beginning after.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘‘Twas long ago and yet today </p><p>When our tale began </p><p>Full of despair at harsh goodbyes </p><p>Our heroine ran and ran </p><p> </p><p>Beware the past and all its traps</p><p>She was warned before she fell</p><p>Beware the foes, beware the foes </p><p>But beware the friends as well</p><p> </p><p>For what is a friend after all </p><p>But a place to leave your heart </p><p>And hearts and heads once lost and gone</p><p>To reclaim them is too hard </p><p> </p><p>Beware, beware, little girl </p><p>And do not lose your way </p><p>For all love to visit Wonderland </p><p>But cursed are those who stay</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Down the rabbit hole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Part One: </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Down the rabbit hole </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” —Chapter 12, Alice’s Evidence, Alice in Wonderland </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you,” Luke said fervently, his eyes shining with tears. “No regrets.”</p><p> </p><p>Everything inside of Julie crumbled. </p><p> </p><p>Her heart. </p><p> </p><p>Her world.</p><p> </p><p>Her ability to be rational.</p><p> </p><p>She knew she couldn’t touch Luke. She <em> knew </em>that. But that didn’t stop her from leaping forward to wrap her arms around him. She couldn’t accept that her body would pass right through him in that moment any more than she could accept that in a few minutes the boys would be gone from her life forever. That they would be gone from the universe forever. </p><p> </p><p>When her arms passed through Luke she couldn’t stop a small noise of dismay from escaping, a choked and hopeless sound that was foreign to her ears. She sounded more like a wounded animal than the girl who usually had such a big voice. She felt wounded too. Surely the pain she was in couldn’t all be mental, not when it felt so sharp and so real.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie…”</p><p> </p><p>Whatever Luke had been about to say was cut off when suddenly he just...ceased to be. There was no flash of light, there was no anguished cry he was just...gone.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie snatched at the air in front of her as if doing so could bring back the boy she no longer saw. A sob brought her attention to Reggie who was staring at the spot where Luke had been. </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a gasping breath and stumbled toward him.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie…”</p><p> </p><p>She reached for him too despite her failure with his friend but before she could reach him he too blinked out of existence.</p><p> </p><p>Julie fell to her knees, suddenly the effort of staying standing seeming entirely too much. With all of the strength she could muster she turned to face Alex, his face a mask of fear and sadness mirroring her own. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex…” </p><p> </p><p>She crawled towards him only to have him disappear as well. And then she was alone.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” She sobbed, curling around herself and closing her eyes in an effort to block out her new reality. “No, no, no.”</p><p> </p><p>She had been so sure when the woman in the alley had handed her the dahlia that her mom was telling her everything would be ok. When Alex, then Reggie and finally Luke had poofed onto the stage she had known that even though she was saying goodbye to them they would be alright. They would be alright and so would she.</p><p> </p><p>Now as she sobbed on the floor she couldn’t see how she would ever be alright again. Finding the strength to go on when she thought she helped her friends cross over was one thing, doing it now that she had seen them ripped from the world was another. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure how long she lay there but it was long enough that her tears dried up and her breathing quieted. She was staring blankly at the patch of floor in front of her when she heard a rattling sound at the garage door. Julie sat up and turned her head so fast she felt dizzy for a moment. Her head was spinning but not enough to keep her from glimpsing the figure just inside the garage, a bright white helmet the first thing that caught her eye. </p><p> </p><p>Under the helmet was a teenage boy with long brown hair and a skateboard clutched in his hand, his face reflecting the grief she knew she was written all over hers. </p><p> </p><p>Julie had never seen a ghost other than...other than <em> her </em>ghosts...but she knew she was looking at one now. She also knew this was in all likelihood Alex’s Willie.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re gone aren’t they?” His voice shook as he asked the question they both already knew the answer to.</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt herself nodding though she hardly remembered telling her head to do so. </p><p> </p><p>Willie squeezed his eyes shut for a single moment before turning and preparing to skate through the garage door and back into the night. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie heaved herself to her feet.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m late. I’m very, very late,” Willie told her in a choked voice. “Caleb’s going to be looking for me soon. He’ll tear my soul apart if he finds out I helped them. Maybe that would be better.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head fiercely, crossing the space between them quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“There has to be something we can do. Some way we can bring them back!”</p><p> </p><p>Willie shook his head sadly.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s nothing we can do. Once a ghost is gone that’s it. They’re gone forever.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt her last shred of hope draining away. It was replaced with a feeling she hadn’t felt since her mom died. Sadness yes, but also <em> rage </em>. Why would the world take things that were so good when so much bad got to stay? </p><p> </p><p>“They never should have been ghosts in the first place,” She said, anger and grief warring within her. “They barely got to live. It’s not fair.”</p><p> </p><p>A strange look came over Willie’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“Say that again.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s face scrunched up in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s not fair?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, the first part.”</p><p> </p><p>“They never should have been ghosts in the first place?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie’s expression was quickly shifting to one of cautious excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“What if they were never ghosts? What if they didn’t die in 1995?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie was not following but she <em> wanted </em>to.</p><p> </p><p>“But they did die in 1995. I read the article.”</p><p> </p><p>Willie glanced behind him like he half expected Caleb to have appeared behind him. When he turned back to face Julie his face looked determined but still afraid. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s one place where time doesn’t mean anything. The place you go after you die before you cross over or come back as a ghost. It exists outside of time.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“What like limbo? Where the boys were before they came back?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you think they spent an hour there and came out 25 years later? Every moment that ever happened or ever will is accessible from there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, but not to me,” Julie pointed out. “I’m not dead.” </p><p> </p><p>“There’s a reason Caleb chose that spot for his club,” Willie said quickly as though he still expected someone to pop up and interrupt him. “There are these...weak spots between our world and the next one and there’s one right in the middle of that building. It kind of leaks supernatural energy and that’s why he’s been able to grow so powerful. But he’s also done these experiments and people can cross through and pop out in other times.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie could feel her mouth gaping open and did her best to force it closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you telling me Caleb has stumbled into time travel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sort of. It’s not reliable and a lot of lifers he tricked in...they never came back. And ghosts never do. We don’t know the rules. It’s not safe but...it’s a chance.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let Willie’s words sink in for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>“But some of the lifers did come back?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ve got to try.”</p><p> </p><p>She was overwhelmed with guilt at the thought of what would happen to her dad and Carlos and Flynn if she just disappeared forever. In a lot of ways it was selfish to run headfirst into danger knowing how much they loved her. But she knew the boys would do the same for her and she couldn’t forget the fear and pain on their faces before they were jolted out of existence. It might not be the right decision but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t live with herself knowing there was a chance she could have saved them and chose not to risk it.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, I’m so late. Caleb will be looking for me by now.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie held out his free hand not clutching his skateboard. </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out as though to take his hand though of course hers passed right through. But as it did she felt an enormous pressure and heard a strange sucking sound causing her to close her eyes in distress. When she opened them again they were no longer standing in her garage but in an ornate entryway to what looked to be an old hotel. </p><p> </p><p>Julie reeled for a moment clutching at her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you just poof me? You can poof living people?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie raised a finger to his lips and Julie trailed off realizing her question probably could have been a little quieter given they were in enemy territory now.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Willie whispered, gesturing for her to follow him down the hall and into a nondescript door leading to some stairs. “Go up these stairs and you’ll see Caleb’s dressing room. That’s where you’ll find it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb’s dressing room?” Julie gulped. “Won’t he be in there?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“He’ll be in the ballroom with his guests probably...probably celebrating.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie understood the pain in Willie’s voice as he made that statement. She felt the same pain reflected in herself but she fought it down. She had to focus on saving them, not grieving their loss.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you coming with me?” She hated how small her voice sounded.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t. I’m tied to Caleb and he’s calling me. I can barely fight the tug right now. Besides ghosts don’t come back once they go in. You’ll know it when you see it...just be careful, Julie. We don’t know exactly how it works but it seems like it’s tied into the idea of unfinished business. Think about what you need to do and don’t forget it. It will be easy to get distracted but you have to want to come back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I’ll want to come back.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie avoided Willie’s eyes as she said it, knowing she would probably find doubt and sympathy there. After all, Willie was also facing the same reality she was. Even if they succeeded and saved the boys they wouldn’t be bringing them back into their lives. They would never meet as ghosts. She would never have a fake hologram band with the friends who had saved her from herself. She and Willie could win but they couldn’t avoid the heartbreak waiting for them in the future.</p><p> </p><p>Still. That was a pain for another day. First she just had to make sure her boys got to continue to exist somewhere even if it was out of her reach. </p><p> </p><p>When she finally grew brave enough to meet Willie’s gaze again he was smiling through tears. </p><p> </p><p>“They won’t know you and you shouldn’t tell them you’re from their future.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because if I change something it will set off the butterfly effect?” Julie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Willie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe. We don’t know. But it will definitely freak them out and make them think you’re crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Yeah.” </p><p> </p><p>“Just do what you have to do and get out of there. We can’t...we can’t have them. We can only try to save them.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie wished she could reach out and hug the boy in front of her but she knew her arms would only pass right through him and she’d had more than enough of that helpless sensation for the day. </p><p> </p><p>“I will,” She finally said, infusing her voice with all of the strength and certainty she could. “I’ll save them and come back.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie nodded and managed a small, sad smile before poofing out. </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and climbed the stairs doing her best to do so silently in case Willie was wrong and Caleb was in fact in his dressing room. In the end her fears were unfounded and the room was empty. For the most part it was something right out of one of the old movies her dad had shown her, lots of draping fabric in shades of gold and purple, a large dressing table and mirror and racks of clothing. </p><p> </p><p>But what immediately caught her attention was the strange feeling she got as soon as she stepped inside. A feeling like she was waiting for her ears to pop on a plane or like the strange, giddy heaviness you felt after jumping into the deep end of the pool. The entire room thrummed with it but she could tell it was radiating out from the center of the room where a deceptively normal area rug rested on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a few cautious steps towards the center of the room and reached out with her foot to carefully nudge the carpet out of the way. What she saw once she moved it was almost impossible to describe. On the surface it was...well, it was a hole. Just wide enough for one person to fit inside and looking much the way one would expect a hole in the floor to look. </p><p> </p><p>But there was also something not right about it. The hole had perfectly round edges and the darkness inside was somehow darker than any darkness she had ever encountered. It wasn’t even <em> dark </em>exactly...it was more like nothing. It was like staring directly into nothing. </p><p> </p><p>It scared her if she was being honest.</p><p> </p><p>She had the brief, horrifying thought that if she stepped into that nothingness she might not remember why she had done so. She thought she might not remember who she was.</p><p> </p><p>Julie balled both of her hands into fists where they hung at her side, digging her fingernails into her palms hard enough to leave marks.</p><p> </p><p>She wouldn’t forget.</p><p> </p><p>She was Julie Molina.</p><p> </p><p>She was Rose Molina’s daughter.</p><p> </p><p>And she wouldn’t be afraid.</p><p> </p><p>She would go down this hole and find her boys and save them because that’s what she had to do. </p><p> </p><p>Julie approached the edge of the hole and slowly eased herself down to the floor letting one leg then the other dangle into the opening as she sat on the edge. </p><p> </p><ol>
<li><em> Orpheum. Luke. Reggie. Alex. </em></li>
</ol><p> </p><ol>
<li><em> Orpheum. Luke. Reggie. Alex. </em></li>
</ol><p> </p><ol>
<li><em> Orpheum. Luke. Reggie. Alex. </em></li>
</ol><p> </p><p>Then she was releasing her grip on the edge of the hole and scooting forward and then…</p><p> </p><p>She fell. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And off we go...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. An unprepared stalker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! </p><p>Julie is officially in the past and surprise, surprise changing things doesn’t go as smoothly as she hoped. </p><p>I can’t wait to hear what you guys think! Enjoy. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She fell, and she fell and she fell.</p><p> </p><p>Julie fell for so long she began to fear she would never stop falling. She fell, and she fell and she fell and all the way the nothingness pressed in around her keeping her from getting her bearings at all. At times she half suspected she was falling up as the rules of gravity didn’t seem to apply in the nothing. It didn’t feel like the weight of her body was pulling her down. It felt more like she had no body at all. She was just part of the nothing, plummeting towards who knows what.</p><p> </p><p>She did her best to keep her destination and goal in her mind, repeating whenever she could her mantra of 1995, Orpheum, Luke, Reggie, Alex. But more often than not she found her mind stubbornly blank. There wasn’t even the sound of air whistling by her as she fell.</p><p> </p><p>It was just...nothing.</p><p> </p><p>The only positive side to the overwhelming nothingness was that she couldn’t quite seem to manage to gather up the energy and mental space to be afraid. In fact she was beginning to find herself a little drowsy. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes had just drifted shut (which changed her vision of her surroundings not at all) when abruptly she felt a jerking behind her navel as though an unseen force was slowing her descent. Julie’s eyes snapped open and she perceived a faint glowing light at a distance.</p><p> </p><p>1995. Orpheum. Luke. Reggie. Alex.</p><p> </p><p>Julie desperately held on to that thought as the light grew brighter and brighter and her fall slowed and slowed until suddenly she was being flipped over and her back was making contact with a hard surface. </p><p> </p><p>The thump of her landing was enough to knock the air from her lungs but not enough to injure her or cause her any major pain. Still, it was strange to be so aware of her body at all after so long spent feeling separated from it.</p><p> </p><p>Julie lay still for a moment taking in all of the sensation that was rushing back to her, the cold press of concrete against her back, the sounds of traffic nearby and the slightly unpleasant smell…</p><p> </p><p>In the end it was the smell that fully snapped Julie back to herself and brought her to the highly unpleasant realization that she was currently lying on her back in an alley uncomfortably close to a dumpster.</p><p> </p><p>Julie sat up quickly, wiping her hands on her pants in disgust. </p><p> </p><p>“Ew,” She muttered, quickly hoisting herself to her feet and glancing around at her surroundings. </p><p> </p><p>She had certainly travelled somewhere but the question was had she travelled to the right place? And more importantly had she travelled to the right time? </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a quick look down at herself to make sure she wasn’t wearing anything that would give her time traveler status away if she had managed to make it to the past. Pants, t-shirt, cardigan...those should all be pretty safe right? She shook her head. Of course that outfit wouldn’t give her away. The 90s felt like a million years ago to her but as her dad liked to remind her it wasn’t that long ago. No one was going to expect her to be wearing a corset or something. Anyway, she didn’t plan to be here long enough to be noticed by many people. She just needed to stop the guys from dying and she needed to figure out how to get home. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t exactly sure how she was going to do either of those things. She wished she had taken the time to grill Willie on how exactly she was supposed to get back to 2020. Her best guess was that once she completed her task she needed to return to this alley and hopefully a hole would appear. That would track with what Willie had told her about unfinished business and weak spots between the regular world and the supernatural one. </p><p> </p><p>And if all of that was wrong and she had no idea how to get home she didn’t want to let herself think about that too hard just yet. Her mind was still reeling from losing the boys for the first time so recently. She wasn’t about to lose them again because she was distracted by her fears for her own future. </p><p> </p><p>Julie was just bracing herself to cross the distance between herself and the street when a figure skated by the entrance to the alley.</p><p> </p><p>She only glimpsed the figure for a moment but she saw enough. </p><p> </p><p>A bright white helmet. Long brown hair. </p><p> </p><p>Had Willie come with her after all? </p><p> </p><p>Julie sprinted to the entrance of the alley and onto the sidewalk. She was clearly on the strip and there were crowds of people passing by in both directions. She could just make out the white helmet in the distance though. </p><p> </p><p>Julie took off in that direction pushing past grumbling people as she went. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie! Wait!” She called after him but either he didn’t hear her or didn’t want to stop. </p><p> </p><p>She was sure it was him though. If she could just catch up to him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie lost sight of the helmet just as she burst through the last group of people and spun from side to side looking for the skateboarding ghost with no luck. But what she did see was a familiar glowing sign. </p><p> </p><p>The Orpheum.</p><p> </p><p>She did it. She was here. And if the marquee reading “Sunset Curve Showcase: Sold Out” was any indication she was here on the right night as well.</p><p> </p><p>Now she just had to figure out how to get inside. There was already a line of people stretched down the sidewalk waiting to get in. Julie stood on the sidewalk for a moment considering her next move. She doubted she was getting in through the front door to a sold out showcase without a ticket, especially before they officially started letting people in. </p><p> </p><p>A sudden idea occurred to Julie and she ducked around the side of the building, hurrying down the alley until she came to the door she had burst out of before her own performance at the Orpheum. In 2020 the club had been lax enough to leave this door unlocked allowing her to duck back inside. Was it possible she was lucky enough that the same held true for 1995? </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. She gave it a tug and breathed a sigh of relief when the door creaked open a crack. She slipped inside and pulled the door closed quietly behind her. She found herself in the stairwell leading down to the dressing room and beyond that the hall leading to either the stage or the main floor of the club. Julie eased herself down the steps hoping she didn’t run into anyone who would question what she was doing there. </p><p> </p><p>Her first stop was the dressing room where she and Flynn had waited for the boys to turn up. After all, if the guys were performing tonight she might get lucky and catch them in here getting ready and she could cut them off before they ever headed out in search of questionable hot dogs. Unfortunately the dressing room was empty. </p><p> </p><p>She continued down the hall and down the three stairs that led out to the main floor of the club. The place was mostly deserted but on the far end of the room a girl with curly hair and a guy in a leather vest were standing and talking with their backs to Julie. She could probably sneak by without them seeing but what good would that do in the long run? She didn’t know how much time she had before it was too late. </p><p> </p><p>Trying to channel her confident on stage persona, Julie strode across the floor and stopped just short of the pair.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me…”</p><p> </p><p>The two turned to face her and Julie felt her expression freeze into one of shock because the girl in front of her wasn’t a stranger. It was her…</p><p> </p><p>“Mom.”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t stop the word from escaping even though she knew she would sound crazy, even though she knew the girl would have no idea what she was talking about, even though somewhere her boys were probably out there staring down deadly snack food already. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter. </p><p> </p><p>She was standing in front of her mom.</p><p> </p><p>Rose exchanged a glance with the guy next to her before looking back at Julie questioningly. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, are you looking for your Mom?” She asked as though she thought Julie might not be all there. </p><p> </p><p>Julie managed to reply in what she hoped was a relatively casual manner though she could feel tears pricking at her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”</p><p> </p><p>She could feel the pause stretching too long yet again as she just stared at her mother’s face. She may be looking at Julie without a hint of recognition but she was still the person Julie loved most, who had been out of reach for a year. The urge to latch on to her was overwhelming but she forced herself to stay still. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I am looking for someone though,” Julie finally managed to say, the way her voice cracked not lost on her. “They’re playing here tonight. Sunset Curve?”</p><p> </p><p>The guy standing next to her mom cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, that’s my band, what’s up?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie was hit with the second wave of sudden recognition in the last five minutes. </p><p> </p><p>“Tre...Bobby?”</p><p> </p><p>He looked highly suspicious of her at this point, taking a half step back as though she might leap at him at any moment. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...are you a fan?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie considered for a moment. She could say yes and that would explain her presence but it wouldn’t bring her any closer to finding out where the rest of the guys were. She needed to claim a closer connection. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no actually I’m Reggie’s...cousin,” She grimaced at the sound of her own voice. How had she managed to make that statement sound like a question? </p><p> </p><p>Bobby raised an eyebrow skeptically. Julie couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t like she and Reggie exactly had what could be plausibly called a family resemblance.</p><p> </p><p>“Um...step cousin. Once removed. Yeah. I’m Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>Good job, Molina. That would convince him. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie. I love that name,” Rose interjected with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>She sounded so much like her older self in that moment that Julie’s facade of calm almost crumbled at that. Luckily Bobby’s doubting tone was there to snap her out of it.</p><p> </p><p>“Funny, he’s never mentioned you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m from out of town. I was supposed to meet him here to eat before the show but it looks like I missed him.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby frowned and folded his arms, clearly still skeptical. Julie scrambled for details that would cement her story. </p><p> </p><p>“Street dogs right? I keep telling Reggie you have to be crazy to eat hotdogs out of the back of a car but you know how he is.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby shuddered. </p><p> </p><p>“All of them. I like a good hotdog as much as anyone else but that is just disgusting.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you were a vegetarian?” Rose broke in smirking at Bobby who sputtered after being caught in a lie.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, uh yeah what I meant was…”</p><p> </p><p>“So can you tell me where to find them?” Julie broke in knowing she didn’t have time for his attempts to recover his image. “I can’t remember where exactly Reggie told me the hotdog stand is.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not exactly a stand…” Bobby started only to have Rose cut him off with a roll of her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Three blocks down that way, alley on your right, car, grill, gross couch. You can’t miss it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you!” Julie turned to run for the door but turned back at the last moment. </p><p> </p><p>She pulled Rose into a hug and squeezed her tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just hotdogs, kid,” Rose joked, patting her awkwardly on the back. “No need to get so emotional.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie pulled back and took one last lingering look at her mother’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, just...thank you. For everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Then with everything she had in her she forced herself to turn away from her mother and sprint back the way she came. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she was bursting back out into the night air she had managed to reign in the tears that had been threatening to escape. She knew that later when she had time to sit with what had just happened she would have a lot to unpack. But for now she had a ghost band to save before they could ever become said ghost band.</p><p> </p><p>Julie ran down the sidewalk, once again dodging groups of people as she went. Her chest was heaving and she was completely out of breath by the time she reached the right alley. She could see the smoke curling through the air and smell the hotdogs cooking before she actually caught sight of her boys sitting on a couch, each of them clutching a hotdog that they were raising in a toast. </p><p> </p><p>“Stop!” She called down the alley earning herself weird looks from the guy cooking the hotdogs but Julie ignored him. </p><p> </p><p>She ran down the alley, stumbling to a stop in front of the boys who were staring up at her wide eyed. </p><p> </p><p>“Stop...just stop,” Julie gasped, bending over to place her hands on her knees for a moment as she caught her breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, can we help you?” Alex asked, shooting a look at his friends before turning back to face Julie who had managed to stand straight by this time. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh...uh...yeah!” Julie responded with what she hoped seemed like a normal amount of enthusiasm. “I’m a...uh...big fan. I was hoping I could get a photo with you guys.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you have a camera with you?” Reggie asked skeptically, eyes skimming over her empty hands. </p><p> </p><p>“I have my…” Julie started to reach for her back pocket before she realized she couldn’t exactly just pull out her cellphone. </p><p> </p><p>How did people survive in 1995? Did they just take pictures like twice a year or what? </p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t have one with me.” She caught herself and spoke again. “How about an autograph?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Luke said, waving his hotdog in the air as he pointed at Julie. “You got paper? A pen?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie grimaced. </p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>This was going so well. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d give you a t-shirt but I’m out,” Reggie said with an apologetic smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you can go get some more. I’ll wait!” Julie announced which gained her another round of odd looks from all three boys. “Or I could go with you! Yeah, let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>She jerked her thumb awkwardly to indicate they should set off though none of the boys made a move to stand. </p><p> </p><p>Alex leaned over to whisper to his friends but it was definitely still loud enough for Julie to hear. </p><p> </p><p>“She might be a stalker.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s not a very prepared stalker,” Reggie hissed back. “She didn’t even bring a pen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I can totally hear you,” Julie broke in.</p><p> </p><p>The guys had the decency to look a little embarrassed at that but they still didn’t seem any less weirded out by her rambling. Not that she could blame them. It wasn’t her fault she hadn’t had the time to properly think through a plan. </p><p> </p><p>“Look, we’re glad you like our music and hope you have a great time at the show tonight. But we’re kind of trying to eat so if you could…”</p><p> </p><p>Luke paused and when Julie didn’t make a move to leave he jerked his head to the side as if she just needed a little more direction and then she would take the hint and go. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>So much for doing this the easy way and getting out without making a fool of herself. She was beyond caring if they thought she was crazy though. If all went well she would be just a brief, weird anecdote in their long lives. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I’m going to need you to hand over the hotdog,” She ordered reaching out in an attempt to snatch it from Luke’s hands. </p><p> </p><p>Luke for his part pulled it in closer to his chest shooting her an absolutely scandalized look as she continued attempting to grab the hotdog from him. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you...ok, what are you doing?” He protested, jumping up from the couch and walking backwards away from her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m starting to think she’s actually stalking the hotdog,” Reggie said as he and Alex got up too. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s not...ok. Look miss, this has been fun and all but you need to leave us alone now,” Alex called after her but Julie didn’t pay him any attention. </p><p> </p><p>She was still focused on getting the hotdog out of Luke’s hands even as he backed further and further down the alley towards the entrance and the bustling people passing by. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what your problem is but this is my last street dog before we become rock gods and I am eating it!” </p><p> </p><p>Luke raised the hotdog as if to take a big bite just as he stepped backwards onto the sidewalk.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare!” Julie shouted, stretching out her hand in one last attempt to save Luke from himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke! Watch it!” Alex shouted from behind Julie but it was too late.</p><p> </p><p>Luke had been so focused on getting a bite of his hotdog and avoiding Julie’s grasp that he had stumbled backwards into the street right into the path of oncoming traffic. </p><p> </p><p>“No!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t have time to think but it hardly mattered because there would have been no choice to make anyway. She kept forward and wrapped her arms around Luke, yanking him out of the trajectory of a honking car just before it reached him. She had a split second to congratulate herself on her success before she realized the momentum from spinning Luke away from the street was too much to stop. They tumbled down to the sidewalk, her on top of him, and landed hard.</p><p> </p><p>Luke groaned and Julie lay there dazed for a moment before she was able to roll off of him. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie and Alex had reached them by this point and a crowd of onlookers was gathering as well. </p><p> </p><p>“Ughhhhh,” Luke groaned again and Julie managed to sit up enough to turn and check on him. </p><p> </p><p>Once she did she wished that she hadn’t for a brief moment. One of Luke’s arms just did not look right. It was twisted at an odd angle and he was clutching it to his chest, grimacing in pain. </p><p> </p><p>She reached out to place a comforting hand on his other shoulder but he grunted and tried to roll out of her reach.</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew he didn’t know her. She knew that. It didn’t make her heart clench any less at his rejection of her comfort. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey, don’t move, man,” Reggie insisted, kneeling down by his friend. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve sent my friend to the pay phone to call for an ambulance,” A woman said from Julie’s left. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I’ve got to play tonight,” Luke groaned, trying to sit up.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, I don’t think that’s happening,” Alex said, turning slightly green as he looked at Luke’s arm. “Your arm is...messed up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I’m so sorry,” Julie told him, genuine regret flooding her despite her success at averting their original fate. </p><p> </p><p>She knew how much it weighed on all of them that they came so close to their dream only to have it yanked away at the last second. Luke especially. She never imagined she would be the cause of that happening a second time. Or a first time again. Time travel was confusing.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re sorry you’ll get away from me and leave me alone,” Luke snapped, still clutching at his arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Luke…” Alex started though he too looked increasingly depressed as reality set in.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. She did save your life,” Reggie pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head, the expression on his face one she hadn’t seen since he discovered that Bobby had stolen their songs. </p><p> </p><p>“No, she ruined it.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Julie could respond the ambulance arrived and things moved quickly from there. Before she knew it Luke was being loaded into the back and Reggie was going with him. Alex left to head back to the Orpheum and let Bobby know what had happened. The crowd dispersed and before she knew it Julie was alone except for the few people passing by.</p><p> </p><p>She stared down at the ground where the abandoned hotdog lay forgotten on the side of the street.</p><p> </p><p>Was that really the last time she would ever see them? The last image she had to take with her was of Luke in pain and hating her?</p><p> </p><p>She supposed it was time to try to head home but somehow the pain of watching them being jolted away, then seeing her mom but not being able to really talk to her, then the recent events with Luke all hit her at once.</p><p> </p><p>She had done what she came here to do and she knew it was time to try to go home. </p><p> </p><p>But the question remained...then what? </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure who Julie was without her phantoms anymore.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Soooo...that went well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A little distracting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There is no rhyme or reason to what time I post. It’s just literally when I finish writing. So enjoy this update at 11:37pm my time. The next one could be 6am or noon or 3 days from now. Who knows??? Thanks for going with the flow with me lol. </p><p>I know I always say this (and I will continue to) but I can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this one. It’s always true if that helps! </p><p>Enjoy!💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a few minutes of staring morosely at Luke’s abandoned hotdog, Julie managed to tear herself away and start the lonely walk back to the alley she had originally turned up in. Passing by The Orpheum knowing that her mother was likely still inside was one of the hardest things she had ever done but she did it. Every inch of her body was practically singing with the urge to slip back inside the side entrance and find her, demand that her mom listen to how much she loved and missed her, hug her tightly even if it led to Julie being dragged away by security. But in the end she knew the Rose in that club couldn’t give her what she wanted. Trying to make her would only end with Julie even more heartbroken and possibly locked up. </p><p> </p><p>So she kept walking.</p><p> </p><p>She went down several alleys trying to determine if they were the one she had popped into. After all they looked relatively similar and she hadn’t exactly been counting blocks as she chased after Willie earlier. </p><p> </p><p>Or had it been Willie at all?</p><p> </p><p>She had been so sure it was but he hadn’t responded to her shouts and he had been adamant he couldn’t follow her into the past. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe she had been mistaken in her lingering disorientation after she had fallen through time and landed by a dumpster. It wasn’t exactly an experience that lent itself to clear thinking.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Julie found the right alley. She might not have recognized it all but she remembered the stickers on the dumpster. Both were round stickers about 4 inches across, one white and one red. The white sticker had a red rose in its center and the red sticker had a white rabbit in the middle. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure why those images had stuck out to her so much even in her brief time in the alley but she was grateful that they had. Except now it was starting to be a little hard to be grateful for anything.</p><p> </p><p>Because the alley had a few distinguishing features. It had cracked concrete running under her feet. It had a smelly dumpster with two stickers on it. What it <em> didn’t </em>have was a hole between dimensions. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Julie groaned, panic starting to rise up within her. “I did what I came here to do. My unfinished business is finished!”</p><p> </p><p>She paused, tears pricking at her eyes despite her attempts to fight them down. When she spoke again it was in a voice much smaller, and more fragile than she would have allowed had anyone else been present.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>The universe and whatever mystical, supernatural powers were running it seemed to be completely indifferent to her plea because absolutely nothing happened. No hole opening up, no flash of light, no voice giving her instructions on what exactly she was supposed to do next.</p><p> </p><p>So what exactly was she supposed to do next? </p><p> </p><p>The only other place that she knew might be an option to get home was Caleb’s club. The problem was she didn’t actually know where it was. Willie had poofed her directly inside and from what the guys had told her she wouldn’t even be able to see it unless she was invited. </p><p> </p><p>So here she was. </p><p> </p><p>Stuck.</p><p> </p><p>Julie liked to think of herself as a strong person and she knew she was in many ways. That didn’t mean she wasn’t afraid. She was a 15 year old girl stranded alone in LA in a time she wasn’t familiar with. </p><p> </p><p>Now what? </p><p> </p><p>She reached down and emptied her pockets hoping against hope she would find something useful in one of them. She wasn’t exactly sure what she thought that would be. A map to the nearest interdimensional portal? </p><p> </p><p>No such luck. Instead all she found was her useless cellphone and three crumpled one dollar bills that had clearly been through the wash multiple times. Julie turned and walked back to the street, her pace quite a bit slower as she dragged her feet slightly. Somehow being among the people on the sidewalk made her situation feel more real. All of the outfits that looked <em> almost </em>familiar but just slightly off, all of the people standing around and not one of them looking at a phone. </p><p> </p><p>It really was 1995.</p><p> </p><p>Julie looked to the left and right and tried to stay calm. Her eyes landed on a bus stop down the street and examined it consideringly. LA wasn’t exactly a city known for its public transportation. In fact people tended to speak about riding the bus as though it was equivalent to walking straight into the gates of hell. She had lived here her entire life and never so much as stepped foot onto a bus. </p><p> </p><p>Still. It was a relatively safe place to sit while she got her bearings and tried to think of a next move. </p><p> </p><p>Julie made her way down to the bus stop, arriving just as a bus was pulling up. She didn’t bother to pay attention to where it was headed, after all what did it matter to her? She could go literally anywhere and she would be about as well off as she was now.</p><p> </p><p>She climbed the steps of the bus and fumbled with the money in her pocket. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to pay and the bus driver didn’t seem particularly interested in showing her. Eventually he did begrudgingly take her money and Julie headed back a couple of rows and sat down. There were only a few other people on the bus, a young couple making out in the back and an older man who stared at her as she took her seat. </p><p> </p><p>Julie very deliberately avoided meeting his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>She stayed on the bus as it made multiple stops, people getting on and off periodically. She was afraid to pull out her phone and give herself away so she wasn’t sure what time it was but it was getting later if her level of exhaustion was anything to go by. Then again, she hadn’t actually slept since the night before her performance at the Orpheum. She was having a little trouble working out how long ago that had actually been now that time travel was involved but it went without saying she was tired.</p><p> </p><p>Julie found herself nodding off despite her best efforts to stay awake. Eventually the gentle rocking motion of the bus pulled her fully into sleep. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Last stop, kid.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie startled awake at the sound of the driver’s voice. She glanced around and saw that she was the only passenger left on the bus. A quick glance out of the window showed that she had somehow made it all the way down to the beach near the pier. </p><p> </p><p>“That means you have to get off,” The driver instructed impatiently.</p><p> </p><p>She stood and quickly exited the bus which immediately drove off leaving her standing alone at the bus stop. There were a few groups of people standing around outside of the restaurants and bars lining the opposite street. Julie didn’t bother heading that way though. What was the point? </p><p> </p><p>Instead she walked in the opposite direction, no destination in mind just needing to keep moving so her mind didn’t have to linger on how truly dire her situation was.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually the businesses started to thin out and the amount of people walking around dwindled down to nothing. The buildings across the street slowly transitioned into normal houses and Julie idly marveled at the fact that people used to be able to afford to live this close to the beach without being in a mansion. </p><p> </p><p>Finally the exhaustion hit her too hard to keep up her aimless wandering. She sank onto the next bench she came to, pulling off her cardigan and bunching it up under head as a pillow. She observed that another one of those white rabbit stickers was stuck to the seat of the bench. She didn’t quite have the energy to wonder what the rabbit was supposed to represent, probably a band’s logo or something. She knew it wasn’t the safest idea to sleep out in the open like this so her plan was just to rest her eyes for a few minutes. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, she should have known better since none of her plans seemed to be working out that night. </p><p> </p><p>The next thing she was aware of was someone gently poking at her shoulder. Julie cracked open eye and then the other, the first thing she noticed being that the sun was up. The second thing she noticed turned out to be much more interesting though because it was Reggie’s face looking down at her curiously. </p><p> </p><p>Julie jumped and shot upright.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled and waved.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s me. I didn’t catch your name last night in between all the…” His face fell slightly. “All of that.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a new wave of guilt wash over her but she pushed through it.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Julie.” She scrunched her face up in confusion. “Wait...what are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie turned and gestured towards the cluster of houses a little further down. </p><p> </p><p>“I live over there,” He paused and looked back at Julie consideringly. “Oh. I probably shouldn’t have told you that if you really are a stalker. Although I guess if you <em> are </em>a stalker you already know that and that’s why you’re here. Did you come to kill me?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help it. She let a burst of nearly hysterical laughter escape briefly before managing to cut herself off.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that funny?” Reggie asked, seeming to genuinely think there might have been a joke he missed.</p><p> </p><p>“Not in a way I can explain,” Julie told him, shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>How do you explain to someone that in fact you had possibly sacrificed everything to keep someone alive only to be accused of trying to kill them?</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, I had no idea you lived around here,” Julie told him earnestly, willing him to believe her. “Honestly.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded seeming to believe her or at the very least not wanting to push her on the truthfulness of her statement. Sweet Reggie. She would have hugged him in that moment if she didn’t think that would totally freak him out. </p><p> </p><p>“Is Luke ok?” </p><p> </p><p>He cringed at her question.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s in a cast for the next 6-8 weeks but his arm is going to be fine. It’s just he’s...a little upset.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and sunk further down onto the bench as Reggie sat down beside her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he hates me and I get it. I am so sorry. I never wanted to ruin your big night for you guys.” </p><p> </p><p>Now it was Reggie’s turn to shrug. </p><p> </p><p>“It sucks. It really does. But I don’t think you meant for that to happen. And you did save Luke from being pancaked by that car. Want to tell me what your deal with the hotdogs was last night?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, do you want to tell me why it seems like you spent the night on this bench?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed again.</p><p> </p><p>“I might be a little...challenged at the moment when it comes to a place to stay. And when it comes to money. Also when it comes to food…” She admitted as her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. “Overall not my best day.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“You really don’t have anywhere to go?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. Everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, the memory of Luke’s angry face, Reggie’s kind yet detached concern because he didn’t <em> know </em>her…it was a lot.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, don’t cry!” Reggie protested, reaching out to pat awkwardly at her shoulder. “Everything’s going to be ok.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie hadn’t realized she was crying until he had pointed it out but now she could feel the slow trickle of tears making their way down her face. She reached up to wipe them away doing her best to offer Reggie a reassuring smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m ok. It was just a long night.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie gave her shoulder a squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“I would invite you into my place but my house is a little...loud,” He glanced away, the expression on his face hard to read. “That’s actually why I was taking a walk so early.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that Reggie’s parents hadn’t gotten along back in 95 but she hadn’t known it was “screaming match first thing in the morning” bad. She hated that someone so <em> good </em> had to deal with something so <em> bad </em>. She guessed she should have been used to that by now though.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok,” Julie tried to keep her voice steady despite her doubt. “I’ll figure something out.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie seemed to consider for another moment before he jumped up and held his hand out to her. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie eyed him suspiciously.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are we going?”</p><p> </p><p>“First we’re going to pick up breakfast so that we don’t instantly get murdered once we arrive at our next stop.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyebrows shot up to the top of her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds...ominous.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what that word means, but probably, yeah,” Reggie agreed, giving his hand a little shake until she finally rested hers on it. </p><p> </p><p>He pulled her to her feet and began tugging her down the street. </p><p> </p><p>By the time they were armed with breakfast sandwiches and headed to their next mysterious destination Julie was starting to find it a little less mysterious. She was pretty sure they were headed right to her house only 25 years before it would become her house. It was an extremely disorienting feeling to be headed somewhere familiar, with someone familiar, and yet know that nothing waiting for her was going to be what she was used to at all. </p><p> </p><p>She knew the boys had used her garage as their studio so it probably shouldn’t have surprised her <em> that </em>much that he would take her there. But she still wasn’t prepared for the rush of emotion that hit her when they stood outside of the garage doors. She half expected them to open and reveal all of her mom’s stuff even though she knew better deep down.</p><p> </p><p>Instead when Reggie juggled one of the bags he was holding so he could pull one of the doors open he revealed a space with no piano and no plants. There were no chairs hanging from the ceiling or old toys cluttering up the corners. </p><p> </p><p>There was however one very unpleasant looking Luke, shooting up from the couch to glare disbelievingly at Julie. </p><p> </p><p>Did she mention he was shirtless? He was also shirtless.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh god, you’re naked,” She sputtered, reaching up to cover her eyes with the bag she held out of instinct then immediately wishing she had risked a peek first. Then she hated herself for wishing that in this situation. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not naked! What the hell is she doing here?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s voice was full of venom and Julie dropped the bag slightly to take in his furious expression. Much like everything else since she had arrived in 1995, this was not going well. </p><p> </p><p>“We brought breakfast,” Reggie offered as though that either answered Luke’s question or made up for her clearly unwelcome presence. </p><p> </p><p>“Could you put a shirt on?” Julie practically begged. “It’s a little distracting.” </p><p> </p><p>“I was sleeping!” Luke snapped. “Wait, I don’t have to explain myself to you. This is my house!”</p><p> </p><p>“Technically it’s Bobby’s house,” Reggie broke in. “And technically the house is a garage.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke groaned but reached over to grab one of his cut off tees that was draped haphazardly over the back of a chair. He struggled to tug it on with one hand since his other arm was in a bright blue cast but eventually he managed it. Once he was fully clothed he approached Reggie, grabbing his friend by the shoulder and practically dragging him deeper into their studio. </p><p> </p><p>He pointed back at Julie aggressively. </p><p> </p><p>“You stay out there!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew it was more than fair to let them have their moment so she stayed out. It didn’t hurt that she also knew her boys to be incapable of having a quiet conversation so she figured even if they “whispered” she would still be able to hear every word they said. </p><p> </p><p>That turned out to be a safe bet.</p><p> </p><p>“What is she doing here, Reg? She ruined our lives last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a little strong, dude. We’re only 17.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Last night was supposed to be everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt her heart clench at his words. She wanted so badly to tell him that if she hadn’t intervened last night <em> would </em>have been their everything, their only chance cut short. At least until they came back as ghosts. She couldn’t exactly point that out though. She just had to live with the hurt she had caused and take comfort in knowing Reggie was right, they were only 17. In this reality they would have more chances.</p><p> </p><p>“I found her sleeping on a bench near my house. She doesn’t have anywhere to go! I couldn’t just leave her.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s clearly a stalker! First last night and now she just happens to be sleeping on a bench by your house? Besides she doesn’t look homeless.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie fixed Luke with a pointed look and gestured to their surroundings.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you look homeless? Cause you live in a garage.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sputtered for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s...that’s different.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it?” Reggie asked, his tone growing more serious. “You of all people should know what it’s like not to be able to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced back at Julie who did her best to look as though she hadn’t been listening in. She was pretty sure she failed miserably.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I’m sorry if she has some sad story, I really am. But I don’t know what you expect me to do about it.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie put his hands together as if he was about to start begging and gave Luke what Julie recognized as his best puppy dog look. It was usually pretty effective. </p><p> </p><p>“I thought she could stay here for a few days until she figures something else out. With you.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke immediately started waving his good arm in protest.</p><p> </p><p>“No, no way! Look what she did to me!” He pointed at his cast. “What she did to all of us! Nuh uh, no way. Not a chance in hell. <em> No </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean it’s Bobby’s garage. Technically asking you is a courtesy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke!”</p><p> </p><p>“Julie!” </p><p> </p><p>Both boys' heads swiveled to look at her as her interjection broke up their argument.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I’m coming in,” Julie stepped cautiously into the garage, setting the bag she held down on the coffee table and trying not to wilt under the force of Luke’s glare. “My name’s Julie. And I’m sorry to force myself on you like this. And especially about what happened last night.”</p><p> </p><p>She tried to infuse her voice with as much of her sincerity as possible.</p><p> </p><p>“I never meant to screw things up for you guys and I definitely never meant for you to get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t seem particularly moved by her apology but he also wasn’t biting her head off so she would take that as a win.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to mess things up for you guys anymore than I already have. Believe it or not I’m someone who only ever wanted your life to have a happy ending.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a weird thing to say.” </p><p> </p><p>“She is a fan,” Reggie offered, shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a <em> stalker </em>,” Luke corrected. “Not a fan.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought she was Reggie’s cousin.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed as they all turned to face the newest arrival, whose voice had called out from the doorway of the garage.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know I had a cousin!” Reggie exclaimed in wonder.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shot him a judgmental look. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude...no.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and glanced nervously between all three of the boys currently staring her down. </p><p> </p><p>“I can explain that…” She started.</p><p> </p><p>That was, of course, a lie. </p><p> </p><p>1995 was not turning out to be her year. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What’s that you say? Reluctant roommates trope??? Yes please! 🥰</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Alive and safe and relatively happy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello...it’s me lol.</p><p>I’m back with another chapter. Lots of Sunset Curve conversation and banter this time which is just my favorite. I hope you enjoy it and then we move on to Luke and Julie cohabitation next chapter so that’s fun. </p><p>Let me know what you think! Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed so far. Your comments are literally what keeps me writing and each one is appreciated more than you know. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can explain that…” She started.</p><p> </p><p>“You can explain why you said you were Reggie’s cousin or why you’re in Wonderland at this ungodly hour?” Bobby asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Wonderland?” Julie repeated, feeling like she had to be missing something.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugggh, we did not agree to that name for our studio,” Luke groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“I kind of like it,” Reggie shrugged agreeably. </p><p> </p><p>“Big Alice in Wonderland fans?” Julie asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>She was curious. She was also very aware that the longer they spent talking about literally anything else the longer she could put off having to explain who she was and why she was so interested in their band.</p><p> </p><p>“We all had to read it in lit class,” Luke said in a judgmental tone, somehow managing to answer her question without looking at her once. “Bobby here’s the only one who got obsessed with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a beautiful metaphor for imagination and creativity,” Bobby argued. “So it’s perfect for our studio.” </p><p> </p><p>“I do not live in Wonderland,” Luke muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s perfect,” Julie offered, giving Bobby a reassuring smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” He replied, unfortunately still eying her skeptically. “But I’m still not sure why you’re here. Or who you are. Or why you lied to me and broke Luke on the most important night of our lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you!” Luke practically shouted, throwing up his good arm for emphasis. </p><p> </p><p>“This is Julie,” Reggie interjected helpfully, pointing in her direction. “She’s currently home challenged and has a bit of a weird obsession with hotdogs but I think she’s a nice girl who just accidentally broke Luke on the most important night of our lives.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence during which Julie cringed and Reggie shot her two thumbs up. She  wasn’t sure that speech was doing as much good towards vouching for her as Reggie thought it was but she loved him for trying. </p><p> </p><p>“I am Julie,” She began cautiously hoping against hope that the perfect excuses and explanations would come to her by the time she spoke next. “And I will say again I am extremely sorry for…”</p><p> </p><p>She trailed off and Reggie nodded encouragingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...breaking Luke. In my defense I did do that in the process of saving his life, so.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke rolled his eyes but Bobby at least seemed to be genuinely listening even if his expression was still less than friendly so far.</p><p> </p><p>“And you said you were Reggie’s cousin because…”</p><p> </p><p>“Right! That. I um...well, it’s like I told the boys basically. I’m a big fan and I really wanted to meet the band. I didn’t think you would tell me how to find them if I didn’t have a good reason and it just slipped out. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know I’m in the band too,” Bobby pointed out, looking slightly miffed. “You didn’t seem too excited to meet me.”</p><p> </p><p>Good job, Julie...insult the one with the power to throw you back onto the street. She could think of one excuse she could give even if it did make her stomach turn a little.</p><p> </p><p>“I was excited to meet you but I didn’t want to interrupt,” Julie said. “You seemed like you were...talking...pretty intensely to that girl.”</p><p> </p><p>That girl being her mother and the guy she was talking to being Carrie’s dad. Ew.</p><p> </p><p>“She means you were flirting with size beautiful,” Reggie stated the obvious through a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know what she means,” Bobby blushed. “I mean...I guess that makes sense.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh come on!” Luke protested. “Don’t tell me you guys are buying this. A cute stalker is still a stalker.”</p><p> </p><p>Despite her dire situation and Luke’s current seemingly intense dislike for her she couldn’t help but smile a little as a strong sense of deja vu washed over her at his words. </p><p> </p><p>“You think I’m cute?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sputtered a little and looked back and forth between his two friends who were both smirking knowingly. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey...hey...can we stick to the point please? Don’t forget that she chased me into traffic for my hotdog.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not how I would describe it,” Julie contradicted nervously. “I just really didn’t trust those street dogs. I was trying to protect you if you think about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded toward his broken arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Good job.”</p><p> </p><p>“What did I miss?” A new voice emerged from the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>Alex. Pink hoodie and backwards hat wearing Alex. </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but be happy to see him despite the fact that his arrival meant yet another person she had to convince of her story. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily he seemed more focused on other matters at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“And before anyone answers that, do I smell breakfast? Cause I’m starving.”</p><p> </p><p>She had always assumed given their comfort level in the space that the boys had more or less lived in this garage and she had guessed Luke might have spent some time actually sleeping there if his garbage bag of clothes was anything to go by. </p><p> </p><p>But seeing it now, how even without the use of cellphones they had all managed to convene here by 9am on what she assumed was a weekend morning, it was another level. She felt a rush of emotion at the thought that this really had been a sanctuary for them, a space separate from issues with their parents or their classmates' doubts about their dreams. It was like she had told Luke’s parents. It was a magical, happy place. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Wonderland was the perfect name for it after all.</p><p> </p><p>Alex was two bites into the breakfast sandwich he had dug out of one of the bags on the coffee table before he seemed to fully process her presence. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s hotdog girl doing here?” He asked through a mouthful of food, crumbs flying everywhere. </p><p> </p><p>Ok, seeing them eat was oddly disorienting not that she should be focusing on that at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Do we have to call me that?” She raised one of her hands hesitantly as though she could cast a vote for a different nickname on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, I think it fits,” Luke smirked.</p><p> </p><p>His insistence on being petty was annoying. So was the fact that he still managed to have a heart fluttering smile even when it was brought on by amusement at her expense. Focus, Julie. Focus.</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby?” Reggie prompted hopefully.</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence before Bobby seemed to come to a decision. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s going to be staying here for awhile,” He told Alex. “Just until she figures something else out.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex’s eyebrows shot up but he didn’t protest. Luke on the other hand immediately started to.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby silenced him with a hand on his good shoulder and a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“What can I say? I have a tendency to take in strays.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t seem to have a comeback for that, just muttered something under his breath about the dangers of living with a stalker. He did seem a little affected by Bobby’s comment though. She knew him well enough to know when he was showing genuine gratitude, uneasy as it might be.</p><p> </p><p>It was so strange to see Bobby...to see Trevor as a teen who was clearly close to the other guys, who had apparently taken in Luke when he had nowhere else to go. He was taking her in as well. And for all his faults as an adult he had always been kind to her then too. So if he was a kind teenager and a relatively kind adult how could he have done something so awful to his friends in between? Had she averted that turn in his personality by saving the guys? Or would it come out later in a different way? </p><p> </p><p>Those were questions for a different time.</p><p> </p><p>For now she had to agree with Alex. She was starving.</p><p> </p><p>He must have seen her eyeing the bag he held because he reached in and handed her a sandwich. She smiled gratefully and took a big bite. The other boys also began digging into the food and the garage fell into a silence that was both awkward and comfortable at the same time. Sitting around on the less ancient couch with the guys felt so familiar but she couldn’t quite forget that despite their instincts to help her none of them truly knew her. </p><p> </p><p>They cared about her the way they would have cared about anyone in need.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t...they didn’t love her. </p><p> </p><p>And it was hard for that not to hurt. </p><p> </p><p>She had known it would be the result of her actions she just hadn’t known she would be around to see it firsthand.</p><p> </p><p>Once the food was gone the silence definitely stretched more into the awkward end of the scale. </p><p> </p><p>Julie cleared her throat. </p><p> </p><p>“Um...so not that I’m not super grateful but won’t your parents have an issue with you letting a teenage girl move into your garage?” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t tell them. I didn’t tell them Luke was living out here.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt her eyes practically bugging out of her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait...they don’t know he lives out here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, if they did they would definitely tell his parents and he doesn’t…” Luke elbowed Reggie hard in the side and the bassist trailed off. “Ow.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I don’t get it” Julie said looking back and forth between Bobby and Luke questioningly. “When they come out here, you what? Hide?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke ignored her question but Bobby jumped in nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>“They don’t come out here. My parents are both therapists and they’re obsessed with the idea of trust and boundaries. I said I needed Wonderland…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not called that,” Luke interrupted only to be thoroughly ignored. </p><p> </p><p>“...to be my personal space for my friends and I and they’re good with that. They’re not too worried about what I’m doing as long as I don’t get in any serious trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh,” Julie shook her head disbelievingly. “I snuck out of my bedroom window once and my Dad almost put me under house arrest for life.”</p><p> </p><p>Mentioning her dad had come so easily but as soon as she did she was hit with the thought that she might never see him or Carlos again. She had been pushing that reality aside to deal with more immediate concerns but it all came flooding back in an instant. She felt unshed tears burning at her eyes and felt all of the guys looking at her with varying levels of concern ranging from Reggie who looked like he wanted to hug her to Luke who looked uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” Alex asked gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good,” Julie insisted, grasping for a subject change. “So how is this going to work? I assume you sleep on the pull out couch, Luke?”</p><p> </p><p>Her question seemed to surprise him enough to shock him into speaking to her despite his best efforts not to.</p><p> </p><p>“This couch doesn’t pull out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, actually it does,” Bobby contradicted. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait...what? I’ve been sleeping on this thing for months, dude. Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie were both sniggering and Bobby didn’t seem too moved by Luke’s annoyance either if his chuckling was any indication. </p><p> </p><p>“I thought you would have figured it out by now, buddy. It took hotdog girl all of five minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still not loving that nickname,” Julie sighed. “Anyway, if you can lend me some blankets and a pillow I can set up in a corner or something. I’ll stay out of your way.”</p><p> </p><p>She said the last bit to Luke who didn’t acknowledge her words. So it was back to that. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we can fix up the loft for you,” Reggie offered sweetly. “You could have like your own little room.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled genuinely at his suggestion. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Reggie. That would be nice.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you weren’t staying long,” Luke muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“She still has to have somewhere to sleep, man,” Alex told his friend reproachfully.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess,” Luke said flatly. “Might as well get rid of our instruments to make room. We won’t be needing them anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t think you’re being the slightest bit melodramatic?” Bobby rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember that time we lost that music competition to that barbershop quartet and he threatened to never touch his guitar again?” Alex reminisced affectionately.</p><p> </p><p>“Then five minutes later he was giving us the “music connects the whole world speech” again?” Reggie chimed in. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have a speech,” Luke grumbled but he seemed to be loosening up slightly as his friends spoke. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, pretty sure we just heard it again last night.” Alex pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately the mention of the night before was clearly enough to bring back Luke’s dark mood. He sunk a little further down in his seat and dropped his gaze to the blue cast adorning his arm. </p><p> </p><p>Julie let the dejected silence stretch for another few moments before deciding to try another strategy. There was usually one sure fire way to get Luke in a good mood and that was to talk about his lyrics.</p><p> </p><p>“A wise man once said “when all the days felt black and white those were the best shades of my life.” Maybe yesterday was a black day but I still believe it’s just going to be a funny story you tell someday when you’re winning a Grammy or something. I believe in you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke seemed taken off guard by her quoting his lyrics back to him and while he certainly didn’t smile she could tell he was still a little pleased. His face was doing that thing it did when he was trying not to show he liked something even when he did. It was incredibly cute and that was an incredibly unhelpful observation. </p><p> </p><p>“Told you she’s a fan,” Reggie announced happily.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, well a stalker could know our lyrics too, but hey why not, let’s live dangerously, what could go wrong,” Alex added, shooting Julie a resigned smile to soften his words. “We’ve probably done dumber things.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, like challenging Bobby to eat three pizzas by himself,” Reggie pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“He yakked all over everything,” Alex informed her, doing a disgusting reenactment that left her wrinkling her nose in dismay. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks guys, thanks a lot. What about the time Luke tried to rig up his own amateur pyrotechnics for our set with fireworks and almost burned down half the neighborhood?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke finally seemed to be drawn into the conversation, sitting up and smirking in a slightly more amused and less hostile fashion. </p><p> </p><p>“That would have been epic if I’d gotten the timing right. What about when Reggie tried to flirt with that girl at the mall who ended up being a mannequin?”</p><p> </p><p>“In my defense that was a very high quality mannequin!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie tuned out from the details for a few minutes and just let the sounds of her boys (plus Bobby) alive and safe and relatively happy. She was scared. She was lost in time. She was staring down the possibility of a best case scenario in which she found her way home and never saw her newfound family again. </p><p> </p><p>But in this moment just being in that garage with those ridiculous boys was enough to remind her what it felt like to be alive and safe and relatively happy.</p><p> </p><p>She would take it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t know guys, I’m just really soft for this fictional band and their girl. 🥺</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Sweet, sweet, fantasy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello again!</p><p>We have a couple of songs featured in this chapter. I obviously did NOT write Fantasy by Mariah Carey. I DID however write “Late Last Night” by Sunset Curve. I looked at the title that were supposed to be on their demo and went from there. I hope you guys like it! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time they had finished eating breakfast the atmosphere in the garage was much lighter than it had been earlier. The notable exception was Luke who was still acting as though Julie’s presence was physically painful to him. He seemed to forget for a few minutes at a time, getting caught up in banter with his friends, before glancing in her direction and shifting uncomfortably in his seat with a fresh frown on his face. </p><p> </p><p>It was particularly frustrating for Julie because for her it had only been a day since they stood in this very garage and stared at each other knowing neither of them wanted anything more in that moment than to be able to touch each other. To be able to stay together. She had felt so close to him in that moment and so close to...something. Something big, and scary and unnamed because they hadn’t had time to name it. And now all of the sudden she was stuck and they had all the time in the world only he wanted nothing more than to have her disappear from his life the way she had watched him disappear from hers. </p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t depressing at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Still with us hotdog girl?” Alex asked, waving a hand in front of her face.</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave herself a little shake and forced a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve really got to workshop that whole nickname thing,” She sighed. “But yeah, I’m good.”</p><p> </p><p>“So like I was saying the band fund is running on empty,” Bobby said, picking up an old coffee tin and rattling it to demonstrate his point. “You guys need to do something about that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Luke asked, sitting forward and slapping his hands together in apparent excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to buy cheaper snacks?” Reggie suggested. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, obviously the snack budget is sacred. It’s time for a busking day.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah, cool,” Reggie nodded enthusiastically. “Let’s do that.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke, Alex and Reggie got up and started gathering up instruments somehow managing to make the process as chaotic as possible, bumping into each other, knocking things over and making an incredible amount of noise. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry about them,” Bobby told her as the loudest crash yet came from behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m used to it,” Julie said before realizing she probably shouldn’t have said that. “I mean...boys...right?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re awfully judgmental for a freeloader,” Luke said as the other members of Sunset Curve lined up by the door.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie held an acoustic guitar in its case and Alex held a couple of big white buckets stacked inside each other and his drumsticks. Luke held nothing which wasn’t surprising given his broken arm but it was truly baffling as to what exactly he had been doing for the last five minutes. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re awfully loose with the term freeloader,” Alex pointed out, shutting Luke up for a brief moment. “But if you wanted to help pay us back this would be a great time.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie realized the last part was directed at her and felt a bit of panic swell up within her. Her main plan to survive until she could figure out how to get home was to draw as little attention to herself as possible. Singing in front of the guys, or anyone really, was not exactly helpful in sticking to that plan. </p><p> </p><p>“I...I’m not really musical,” Julie protested.</p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Bobby reached behind him and grabbed something resting in a pile of junk on the floor. He tossed the mysterious object to Julie who managed to catch it, a noisy tinkling ringing out as she did.</p><p> </p><p>It was a tambourine.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, ok. I can handle that,” Julie agreed, standing up. “You’re not coming?”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I provide the space and the van for hauling our stuff around. I get Saturdays off.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke reached over with his good hand and messed up Bobby’s hair much to the other boy’s annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>“Aww, our wittle Bobby is too delicate to be out in the sun busking.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m burning your clothes while you’re out,” Bobby deadpanned.</p><p> </p><p>“You know you love me,” Luke replied in a sing songy tone as Alex opened the garage door and led them out. </p><p> </p><p>It was still odd to see the guys, especially Luke, be so affectionate with Bobby but there was something really nice about it. Maybe she hadn’t just saved their lives. Maybe she had saved their little found family too. </p><p> </p><p>The guys joked and bantered the entire way down to the pier, occasionally remembering that they needed to at least make an effort to include her. Well, Luke very pointedly didn’t but Alex and Reggie both tried. </p><p> </p><p>“What kind of music do you like, Julie?” Alex asked at one point.</p><p> </p><p>“Ours, obviously,” Reggie answered for her.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok...clearly I meant other than ours, Reg,” Alex rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Um...well…” Julie tried to think of a musical artist she liked that was safe to mention. “Mariah Carey?” </p><p> </p><p>She had to stop phrasing things as a question.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily none of them seemed to think her answer was odd. Luke did let out a little snort that she was pretty sure meant that was judging her but nobody was calling her out on being a time traveler so she would take it.</p><p> </p><p>When they made it to the pier it only took a couple of minutes for the boys to claim their spot and get set up. Alex turned both of the buckets upside down, sitting on one and giving the other a quick tap with his drumsticks. Reggie got out the acoustic guitar, leaving the case open so people could put tips inside. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you could play guitar too,” Julie told him, standing off to the side and clutching her tambourine a little awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you wouldn’t unless you really were a stalker,” Reggie joked. “I don’t do it too often anymore. I shred on the banjo though.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but smile at that.</p><p> </p><p>“I bet.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ok you guys ready?” Luke called out, earning him nods from his friends. “Let’s start with Late Last Night and you…”</p><p> </p><p>He turned his attention to Julie for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Just try to stay out of our way.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie tried not to let his words get to her, to hold on to “no music is worth making without you” but it still stung.</p><p> </p><p>“Not cool, dude,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex, count us in.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex did and then they were doing what they did best, performing.</p><p> </p><p>Alex beat out a rhythm on the bucket and Reggie strummed the guitar. Luke started singing and despite how frankly awful he had been to her all day she couldn’t help but acknowledge the way her heart fluttered slightly out of habit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You and me up on that stage  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Laughing cause they don’t know we’re underage  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Play the show and hope we get paid  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Either way these memories will never fade  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Singing songs for crowds that don’t know our names  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Spilling onto LA streets  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Still high on a dream  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ll never forget </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was so distracted by Luke’s familiar voice for a moment she just stood there until Alex nodded in her direction and she began dancing around a little, rattling the tambourine against her hip as she went. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t one of their songs Bobby had put out as Trevor Wilson so she assumed it was either from their demo she had never had time to finish listening to or one of the hidden gems in Luke’s notebook. She was loving it, not that she wanted his head to get any bigger in that particular moment. </p><p> </p><p>Even with one arm in a cast and without his usually ever present guitar Luke was still charismatic enough to draw the attention of a few people who paused as they walked by. So far no one had given them any money though. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie joined in on the chorus their voices blending together as Reggie practically bounced in place. She was hit with a sudden hope that one benefit of being stuck in the past might be getting to see them totally in their element without being distracted by her own role in the performance. She was pretty sure she would have been a Sunset Curve fangirl if she had been alive in the proper decade. She <em> definitely </em>didn’t want Luke to hear that just then though. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And late last night the whole world looked different  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We were free to dream without permission  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The city lights were blinding, blinding </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The city lights were hiding, hiding </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All the reasons we ever had to doubt  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I don’t ever want to come back down  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know that I’ll be searching the rest of my life </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For that feeling we felt late last night  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was taking everything in Julie not to join in even though she didn’t know the words. She was itching to find the harmonies she knew she could, to beat her dumb little tambourine right up to Luke and feel that crackle of chemistry that only came when they were singing together. She knew it probably wouldn’t be the complete end of the world if the guys heard her sing. It just felt like tempting fate too much. She had to remember her priority was getting home not letting herself fall into the dream of being Julie and the Phantoms again. </p><p> </p><p>Luke dove into the next verse as a few more people gathered around.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You and me packing up that van  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Laughing at jokes only we could understand  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Writing songs we hope they’ll hear  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Either way these memories will stay so clear  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Singing for crowds that don’t know our names  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Spilling onto LA streets  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Still high on a dream  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ll never forget </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie caught herself humming along and forced herself to focus on tapping out the rhythm as they returned to the chorus.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And late last night the whole world looked different  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We were free to dream without permission  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The city lights were blinding, blinding </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The city lights were hiding, hiding </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All the reasons we ever had to doubt  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I don’t ever want to come back down  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know that I’ll be searching the rest of my life </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For that feeling we felt late last night  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alex stopped drumming on his bucket and Reggie slowly strummed the last couple of chords as Luke sang the last lines of the song.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And I’d still take those streetlight spotlights  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If we all we ever got was late last night </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help it, she started clapping which would have been a lot less embarrassing if she hadn’t been holding a tambourine but still. Luke glanced in her direction and his look was...almost amused. She had the feeling he was laughing at her a little but it didn’t seem entirely angry so she would take it. A few people in the makeshift audience applauded too but they were already dispersing and no one had left any money in the guitar case.</p><p> </p><p>“What...really?” Julie protested, looking back and forth between the guys to see if they were as offended as she was.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes it takes a few songs before we get anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“If we ever do,” Alex admitted ruefully.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not about the tips anyway…” Luke started only to be cut off by both of his friends.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the connection,” They droned in unison causing Luke to sputter in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>She giggled and Luke made what she suspected was involuntary eye contact with her. She offered him her best smile and for a second he almost returned it before seeming to realize what he was doing and looking away quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“I know you want to like me, Luke Patterson,” Julie muttered to herself. “Just give it 25 years or so.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey babe, look at this aren’t they cute?” A woman with huge dark sunglasses and a miniskirt had stopped in front of them tugging on the arm of a man until he stopped too. </p><p> </p><p>“Adorable,” He said flatly, clearly ready to keep walking but the woman had other ideas.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know any pop? Or R&amp;B? Oh let’s have them do a song for us, babe. They’re just so cute!”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, we’re a rock band, Sunset Curve,” Alex pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell your friends!” Reggie chimed in.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we do originals,” Luke said firmly. “We were just about to do another one if you want to…”</p><p> </p><p>The man raised a hand to silence them.</p><p> </p><p>“Look kids, the lady wants to hear something more fun. I’ll give you $100 if you make her happy. How does that sound?”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds pretty good,” Alex changed his tune immediately.</p><p> </p><p>“No, what? Like I said we don’t do that,” Luke protested.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie does!” Reggie gave her a little shove forward and she shot him a panicked look. </p><p> </p><p>“What? No, I can’t. Why me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you like Mariah Carey!”</p><p> </p><p>He leaned in to whisper in her ear. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s $100. They didn’t say it had to be good. Just get us started and we’ll figure out how to back you up.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie looked at Alex who was shooting her puppy dog eyes and then back at Luke who was frowning deeply but not actively trying to stop her. She was torn between all of her plans to keep a low profile tumbling down and the idea that just maybe if she did this for them she could pay them back a little for screwing up the Orpheum for them. </p><p> </p><p>She took a deep breath and stepped closer to Luke and the few people still gathered around. </p><p> </p><p>She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to pretend she was back in her bedroom singing into a hairbrush and not trapped in the past with Luke’s skeptical gaze burning a hole through her. </p><p> </p><p>Finally when she figured she couldn’t put it off any longer she started singing, quietly at first then louder and louder. Eventually she heard Alex and Reggie come in, clearly not totally knowing the song but doing a decent job of faking it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh, when you walk by every night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Talking sweet and looking fine </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I get kinda hectic inside </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Mmm, baby I'm so into you </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Darling, if you only knew </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All the things that flow through my mind </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sweet, sweet fantasy, baby </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When I close my eyes </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You come and you take me </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So deep in my daydreams </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She heard a cheer from the crowd and finally felt brave enough to open her eyes. The crowd was still small but they were clapping along and a few had come forward to drop a dollar or two in the open guitar case. </p><p> </p><p>She glanced around to check the reaction of her...former...bandmates. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie were both shooting her amazed and appreciative looks but Luke’s expression was harder to read. </p><p> </p><p>Deciding not to push her luck, Julie only sang through one verse and the chorus a couple of times before trailing off and taking an awkward little bow. </p><p> </p><p>The man was true to his word and dropped five $20 bills into the case. The woman practically squealed in delight and came forward to pull Julie into a hug she didn’t have time to react to.</p><p> </p><p>“Sweetie, that was just so wonderful! Tell these boys to put you front and center more often. You are just wasted on that tambourine!”</p><p> </p><p>Then they were gone, most of the crowd wandering off at the same time, and Julie was left with nothing to distract her from the big mess she had just made.</p><p> </p><p>“Not musical, huh?” Luke said carefully, still looking a little stunned.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily she was saved by Reggie and Alex who had both come up to bounce in front of her excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, that was amazing!” Alex told her enthusiastically.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we honestly thought you would suck,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!” Alex tried to cut him off but it was too late.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we thought wow she is going to be so embarrassed but I mean that won’t kill her and it is $100 and she does kind of owe us but then wow! You killed it!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well...thanks,” Julie finally said, too happy basking in their familiar affection to focus on the fact they had offered her up as a sacrifice a few minutes ago. </p><p> </p><p>After that Sunset Curve ran through a few more songs before they decided to call it a day. By this point the sun was starting to go down and they were all more than ready to dig into the pizzas they had picked up to take back to Bobby’s. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until they were crowded around the pizza boxes, the boys seeming to manage to eat two slices at a time, that she realized it had been awhile since Luke had made one of his cutting remarks. She was just starting to hope that maybe he had forgotten about his recent animosity towards her when Alex took it upon himself to remind him.</p><p> </p><p>“So tell me the truth, what are the odds I come back to an actual murder scene tomorrow? I just want to know if I should stop and pick up bleach and gloves on the way or not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Luke grumbled, reaching over to shove his friend. </p><p> </p><p>“No murder in Wonderland,” Bobby said firmly, wagging a finger first at Luke and then at Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean it would be kind of fitting actually,” Alex argued around a mouthful of pizza.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, remember?” Reggie drew one finger across his throat. “Off with their heads!” </p><p> </p><p>“Um, well, I’d like to keep my head if it’s all the same to everyone, thanks,” Julie interjected.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, we’re more worried for Luke,” Bobby joked, gesturing at his friend’s cast. “Maybe this is all part of your plan to finish the job.” </p><p> </p><p>“Not helpful,” Julie waved her hands as if to ward off the accusation. “One little accident and you’re the butt of the joke forever around here, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“It didn’t feel like a <em> little </em>accident to me,” Luke snapped, standing abruptly and stalking outside.</p><p> </p><p>Julie groaned and buried her head in her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Is he always going to hate me?” She asked.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t hate you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It feels like he hates me,” Julie contradicted, raising one eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s just processing,” Alex offered softly. “It’s hard to let go of something good when you were so close to having it, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie swallowed hard. If only they knew.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late, we’ll check on him on our way out,” Alex said as he and Reggie stood.</p><p> </p><p>“And I’ll go get you some blankets and stuff,” Bobby offered. </p><p> </p><p>And then Julie was alone. She spent the five minutes it took Bobby to return walking in circles around the space marveling at how familiar and yet unknown it felt at the same time. She imagined that’s how the guys had felt in her version of the garage. </p><p> </p><p>Luke still wasn’t back by the time Bobby dropped off the blankets and pillow and he still wasn’t back by the time she had made herself a little nest near where the piano would be in 2020. The loft was still full of stuff so any plans for her to have her own space would have to wait. She wished she had more comfortable clothes to change into but she supposed that would also have to wait.</p><p> </p><p>They really needed to do a better job of publicizing the preparation necessary to time travel successfully.</p><p> </p><p>She was just about to lie down when Luke stomped back into the garage. She expected him to go straight for the couch but instead he looked around, took in her little nest and stalked over.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you..”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could finish her question he flopped down on the pile of blankets and put his good arm behind his head, staring resolutely up at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>“Take the couch.”</p><p> </p><p>He said it in a flat tone and Julie just blinked at him for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re hurt,” She hated to point it out but it was an inescapable fact. “I was supposed to sleep over here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, now I am. Go away.” He rolled onto his side, clearly signaling he was done with the conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Julie considered for a moment. If he had been her Luke she would have kept arguing though she suspected she would have eventually lost in that scenario as well. He wasn’t her Luke though so she just sighed and walked over to the couch. </p><p> </p><p>She pulled off the cushions and pulled out the unfolding bed, grabbing the pillow she had spotted earlier on the floor and the blanket tossed on the back of the couch. She crawled into bed and lay there for several minutes unable to sleep with so many thoughts racing through her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Luke’s voice rumbled through the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want to know why I live in Bobby’s garage?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie jumped a little at the unexpected sound.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p> </p><p>There was another moment of silence before Julie spoke up again.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want to know why I said I wasn’t musical?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p> </p><p>She waited to see if he would speak again but eventually accepted the fact that their little aborted exchange was as close as they were getting to a heart to heart, at least for that night.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Luke,” She whispered, purposefully pitching her voice so low that she thought he couldn’t possibly have heard it.</p><p> </p><p>And if she let herself imagine her Luke answering her she would allow that fantasy. </p><p> </p><p>It was a good dream to drift off to. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do we think does this count as progress? 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Trading apologies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m not going to lie I spent so long writing this chapter and here I am at 1am and I’m not happy with it. But I’m hoping that’s because I’ve been looking at it for too long and not because it actually sucks.</p><p>We get our first taste of Luke’s point of view so there’s that. </p><p>In any case...here it is! 🙃</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Goodnight Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>The girl across the room said it so quietly he wasn’t entirely sure she had said it all. If she had said it she quite clearly hadn’t actually meant for him to hear it in any case. </p><p> </p><p>But something about the soft tone in which she said it, the weird familiarity with which she whispered his name, made it impossible not to respond. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Julie.”  </p><p> </p><p>He whispered it back, half hoping she wouldn’t hear him at all. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to risk inviting her any further into his life than she had already managed to wiggle in over the last 24 hours. </p><p> </p><p>He knew he wasn’t being entirely fair to the girl. He could believe a lot of things about her, several of them firmly in the negative column, but he didn’t actually believe that she had intended to hurt him. He didn’t actually believe that she had intended to come between him and his dream. His...everything.</p><p> </p><p>The problem was she still had. </p><p> </p><p>And here lying in the dark, listening to her breathe in the otherwise silent studio, he could convince himself that logically she was clearly going through her own stuff and it was probably time for him to let her off the hook. But when he had to actually look at her, and see her face and his cast and his friends and all the other reminders of the night before it was so easy to let his temper get away from him. They had worked so hard to get to the Orpheum. Hours and hours and days and days and years and years of practice and gigging and calling in every favor they had ever earned. Chances like that didn’t come around twice. If they called up the booker now they would get laughed off of the phone.</p><p> </p><p>He had been so sure everything would go perfectly. He was the one who had always buoyed the entire band up with his tireless belief that they would make it. It’s what had kept them going when their parents let them down and their classmates had mocked their ambition and it had seemed like all they had in the world was each other and the promise of someday. A promise he had made to his friends. A promise he no longer thought he could keep. </p><p> </p><p>And if all that was really over, if someday was never coming, then what was he left with? Who was he left with when he looked in the mirror? </p><p> </p><p>A runaway, high school dropout with a broken arm who lived in a garage and let all of his friends down. </p><p> </p><p>And lying there in the dark it was easy enough to realize that very little of that was Julie’s fault. But if he wasn’t letting himself be distracted by his anger at her then there was nothing to hold off the fear settling in the pit of his stomach. </p><p> </p><p>And she was a good distraction. </p><p> </p><p>Even if it hadn’t been for the very real anger that burned its way up whenever he looked at her, there was also the mystery of her existence all together. </p><p> </p><p>She had popped up the night before knowing so much about them and speaking to them less like a fan and more like someone they should know. And sure they had developed a decent local following but most of the girls who were big enough fans to know their names looked at least vaguely familiar to him, having followed them around from gig to gig over the last year. But Julie...he would have remembered if he had ever seen a girl who looked like that before.</p><p> </p><p>Not that he was harboring any thoughts about her in that way. But being angry didn’t make him blind. She was a pretty girl and he would have known if she’d been one of the girls hanging around after shows hoping for an autograph or one of Reggie’s shirts. </p><p> </p><p>And that voice. </p><p> </p><p>Where had that come from? </p><p> </p><p>She had gone from insisting she wasn’t musical to belting out Mariah Carey like some kind of angel.</p><p> </p><p>A demonic angel that had ruined his life...but still an angel. </p><p> </p><p>And then there was the fact that a girl who seemed to be even younger than him was apparently sleeping on benches before Reggie had found her. He wasn’t completely heartless. He wanted her out of his life not out on the streets. He couldn’t help but be curious what her story was not that he wanted to know bad enough to admit it. </p><p> </p><p>So. It was a lot. </p><p> </p><p>He just wanted to go back to the night before, back to that brief moment where it felt like everything was falling into place and his life could finally really start. </p><p> </p><p>But there was no point dwelling on that wish. </p><p> </p><p>If he knew anything it was this...what’s done is done. </p><p> </p><p>You can’t go back to the past to fix things. That’s just not how life works. </p><p> </p><p>Luke lay awake for several more hours trying and failing to quiet his mind. Finally he drifted into a fitful sleep, punctuated by pain in his arm and intrusive thoughts. He felt like he had barely slept for twenty minutes when he was jolted back to wakefulness by a whimper from across the room. </p><p> </p><p>He sat up abruptly, jostling his arm in the process and wincing at the shooting pain that went through him at the impact. Another pathetic sound brought his attention back to the girl across the room who was currently tossing and turning fitfully on the pullout bed. </p><p> </p><p>“Mom! Mom, please!”</p><p> </p><p>Her voice sounded so tortured it broke right through Luke’s desire to keep his distance from the girl who had literally crashed into his life. He had always been a bit of an impulsive person and he couldn’t fight his instincts which in that moment were screaming to go make sure she was ok. </p><p> </p><p>Bracing himself with his good arm, Luke hauled himself to his feet and approached her cautiously. </p><p> </p><p>“Mom…” She whimpered again, the sound cutting straight through Luke’s defenses and squeezing at his heart uncomfortably.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Julie,” He tried, speaking softly. “Hey, wake up.”</p><p> </p><p>When she didn’t respond he reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle shake.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Julie...you’re having a bad...whoa!” </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes snapped open and settled on his face, recognition clearly taking a second or so to set in. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke,” She breathed his name on a shaky exhale.</p><p> </p><p>He expected her to scoot further away once she realized who was standing over her but instead she grabbed for his hand clenching it tightly in hers. </p><p> </p><p>Luke struggled to fight down the urge to yank his hand away settling for only allowing his eyes to bug open in surprise. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah. It’s me. Are you ok? You were having a bad dream.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence while she clung on to his hand before a strange look came over her face and she released it suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry...you’re not...I’m here and I...I forgot.”</p><p> </p><p>He had no idea what she was talking about but he figured now wasn’t the time to press her on it. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” He took a step back and hovered a little awkwardly debating between just walking away and trying to get to the bottom of what had her in such a state. “Um...are you good?”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded, clenching her hands together probably to try to hide the slight shaking he still picked up on. </p><p> </p><p>He considered leaving it at that but he wasn’t exactly known for his filter. </p><p> </p><p>“If you miss your mom maybe you should go home,” He started in what he meant to be a comforting tone. “If you had a fight or whatever. She’s probably missing you.” </p><p> </p><p>A range of emotions rushed over Julie’s face one after another. Sadness and annoyance and sadness again. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure your mom is missing you too,” She finally replied. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not...we’re talking about you,” Luke deflected, clearing his throat. “You’re young. Whatever happened, you have time to fix it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie swallowed hard and met his eyes directly with her large brown ones, leaving him slightly mesmerized. </p><p> </p><p>“You have time to fix it,” Julie said earnestly before her voice caught slightly. “My mom passed away.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, that hit him like a slap to his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie...I’m sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>She nodded, dropping her gaze to her lap. </p><p> </p><p>He was hit with a sudden rush of urgency to make sure she knew he meant it. </p><p> </p><p>“No, really I’m so sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>She looked back up and offered him a small, sad smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you are.” </p><p> </p><p>She had a way of saying things in a way that made him feel like he was missing something, like there was what she was saying on the surface but also some other message meant just for him if he could just crack the code.  </p><p> </p><p>He really wished she would stop that. </p><p> </p><p>He just wanted to hate her in peace and that was getting progressively harder every minute.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...it’s still really early. You should get some more sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded and slid back down under her blanket as Luke forced himself to walk back over to his spot on the floor before he did something stupid and offered to sit with her until she fell back asleep or something. </p><p> </p><p>He had just made himself as comfortable as he was going to get when she spoke up softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>This time she definitely meant for him to hear. </p><p> </p><p>“Pretty sure it’s good morning at this point,” He observed flatly.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help it, he felt a small smile growing on his face at her somewhat adorably dejected tone. His only comfort was it was still too dark for her to actually see said smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>She immediately responded, her voice sounding considerably more cheerful.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Good morning, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>If the sounds of her even breathing were anything to go by she fell back asleep relatively quickly after that, thankfully nightmare free. Luke on the other hand had absolutely no luck getting anymore rest. He was well and truly awake. Eventually he gave up on trying and got up to retrieve his lyrics notebook and a pen. There was just enough light from the rising sun coming in through the windows for him to see the page in front of him. </p><p> </p><p>He had been working on the same song for quite awhile and he just couldn’t get past his writer’s block. He knew there was a great song in there somewhere if he could just find it. He read over what he had so far for about the hundredth time, turning the words over and over in his mind until they almost started to lose their meaning.</p><p> </p><p>“Ughh,” Luke groaned quietly, tossing his notebook to the side. </p><p> </p><p>It looked like he wasn’t going to be getting anymore sleep or making any progress on the song. He might as well take a shower since it didn’t seem like he was going to accomplish anything else. He got up as quietly as he could and rummaged around for a change of clothes before heading back to the small bathroom in the rear of the garage. At the last minute he realized he should probably cover his cast with something and found a plastic bag to wrap around it before turning the water on. </p><p> </p><p>By the time he was under the steamy water he was starting to feel slightly more human. It wasn’t exactly like he could rinse off the crushing disappointment of having his dream ripped away from him but it definitely didn’t hurt. It felt so good in fact that he ended up taking a way longer shower than he normally would, letting the sound of the water drown out any pesky thoughts of gigs, and hotdogs and girls he maybe didn’t entirely hate. </p><p> </p><p>Finally though he couldn’t put off re-emerging any longer. He turned off the water, toweled off and got dressed, taking the time to shake the worst of the moisture out of his hair before he emerged from the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>What he saw quickly ruined the small amount of mental peace he had managed to gather during his shower. Julie was sitting cross legged on the floor, his notebook cradled in her lap. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help it. He saw red. </p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t just some notebook. That was his heart spilled all over those pages and he hadn’t given her permission to tear it open anymore than he’d given her permission to tornado her way into his life in the first place. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” </p><p> </p><p>Her head snapped up and a guilty expression flooded her face as she stumbled to her feet. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Luke. I know I shouldn’t have…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you shouldn’t have, but why am I not surprised?” He strode over and snatched the notebook from her hands, ignoring the way she flinched. “This is the payback we get for trying to help some girl with nowhere else to go? Well, forget that.”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes flooded with tears and Luke had half a second to regret his harsh words before she turned on her heels and ran for the door. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie!” He called after her but she didn’t slow down until she had yanked the door open and almost ran directly into Alex who had been about to open it from the other side.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, Julie what’s wrong?” Alex asked as Julie pushed past him. “Where are you going?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie spun to face him, but kept moving backward.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. After all I’ve got nowhere else to go.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t actually meant it but she was already turning and walking quickly out of sight. </p><p> </p><p>He sighed and reached up to tug at his hair out of frustration as Alex fixed him with a questioning look.</p><p> </p><p>“I screwed up,” Luke groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“I can see that,” Alex agreed, stepping into the garage and eyeing him knowingly. “But I’m glad that you can. So what are you going to do about it?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke thought for a moment before glancing up at the loft then back to his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got an idea.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Julie knew that she shouldn’t have looked in Luke’s notebook. She knew that, she really did. After all, wasn't she the one who had drilled the importance of boundaries into the boys’ heads? It was just that everything was so familiar and yet strange, including Luke. </p><p> </p><p>When she had woken from a nightmare only to see his concerned face leaning over her it had taken her several long seconds to realize she wasn’t home in 2020. She had been so sure in that first instant that the Luke looking down at her was the same Luke who said they had an interesting little relationship and tried to hold her hand on her porch. The same Luke who had said what she did for him was perfect.</p><p> </p><p>And she knew it was the same Luke really. Only an hour had passed for him between the street dogs incident and appearing in her garage as a ghost. So it wasn’t that he was so different from the Luke she had met. He was just different from the Luke she had...the one she had tried desperately to hug before he blinked out of existence. The one who had said “anything...you know that” and meant it. </p><p> </p><p>Only the Luke that woke her from her nightmare hadn’t said that. And he may not want her to be tortured by her own mind as she slept but she had no evidence he would hate her any less in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>So when she had woken again alone and saw his notebook lying there, the temptation to get a peek inside his mind was just too much. She just wanted to see if she could find a clue...a stray thought...something that would help her believe that the boy she cared about so much was in there, under the angry surface. </p><p> </p><p>She knew it was wrong though and now she was paying for it. </p><p> </p><p>Julie wandered around her neighborhood observing all of the ways it was the same and different in 1995. The cars were certainly a little more boxy and some of the houses were different, clearly having been torn down and built again some time in the next 25 years. But overall it was almost painfully familiar. She half expected to see Flynn coming down the sidewalk but of course her friend wouldn’t be born for another decade. </p><p> </p><p>She walked for a long time until she eventually made it to a little playground where she remembered pushing Carlos on the swings when they were younger. It seemed to be abandoned at the moment, so Julie took a seat in one of the swings herself, pushing gently against the ground with one toe until she started swaying back and forth. </p><p> </p><p>How on earth had things gotten this messed up? </p><p> </p><p>All she had wanted to do was keep the boys with her and failing that to keep them living somewhere. </p><p> </p><p>She never thought that she would find herself in a situation where she couldn’t get home and being with them might not be what they would want. </p><p> </p><p>She had meant what she said though, she would go back. She didn’t look forward to it but she knew she couldn’t survive out here on her own. She just had to stick it out until she could figure out a way to get back.</p><p> </p><p>Julie put off returning to her...Bobby’s house as long as possible but eventually she decided it was better to get the awkward moment over with. It had been several hours and she didn’t think that realistically she could go much longer without a meal. Or a glass of water. Maybe a shower and a change of clothes. </p><p> </p><p>She made her way back the way she had come, practically dragging her feet as she went. When she finally reached the garage the doors were closed but she could hear excited voices and several mysterious crashes. Curiosity overcoming her nerves, Julie pulled open the door only to be met with a comical sight. </p><p> </p><p>All four of the boys of Sunset Curve were inside and they froze when she made her entrance. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie was up in the loft clutching a pillow and Luke was halfway up the ladder with a pink blanket slung over his shoulder. Alex and Bobby both had heavy boxes in their arms that they were struggling to carry away from the bottom of the ladder. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh...nothing,” Reggie stuttered out unprompted.</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t ask what you were doing yet,” She pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shoved the blanket up towards Reggie before jumping down to the ground. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, could you go back outside for five minutes and then come back in?”</p><p> </p><p>“Can I ask why?” She asked, one eyebrow raised. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke kind of has a thing for dramatic apologies,” Alex chimed in. </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded, images of 3 part harmonies and “super duper sorries” filling her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, he seems like the type.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke took a step closer to her and hit her with one of those open, puppy dog looks that had been so devastatingly effective in 2020. </p><p> </p><p>“Please? Just five minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>A lot of things had changed since she went back in time but her ability to resist that look was not one of them. So she just shook her head, shot a semi-amused look over Luke’s shoulder at the other boys and then backed out the way she had come, pulling the door closed behind her. </p><p> </p><p>The voices and banging immediately started up again at an even more frantic pitch for several minutes before the door creaked open and Reggie’s head peaked out. </p><p> </p><p>She shot him a questioning look but he only grinned and beckoned for her to come in. </p><p> </p><p>All of the guys were standing around the garage with various levels of excitement on their faces, though Luke looked slightly nervous as well. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, here I am,” Julie said.</p><p> </p><p>Luke stepped forward and pitched his voice down slightly to give them at least the illusion of privacy.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, Julie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn’t have read your notebook. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>It was Luke’s turn to shake his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn’t have been a jerk all day yesterday.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I shouldn’t have broken your arm and messed up your big night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Could you two finish trading apologies so she can see what we’ve been working on?” Bobby called out. </p><p> </p><p>Luke and Julie both chuckled and he nodded to indicate she should go check out the loft. </p><p> </p><p>She crossed the garage and climbed up the ladder, Reggie reaching down to steady her for the last step. What she saw when she made it up there was almost enough to bring her to tears. </p><p> </p><p>They had cleared out all of the stuff that had been up there and in its place were things they had clearly gathered for her. A twin mattress took up most of the space with a pink blanket and pillow piled carefully on top. There was a pile of neatly folded clothes, a purple hairbrush and a little cup with a toothbrush in it off to one side. On the other side of the mattress a small lamp with a pink shade sat waiting for her. There was even a teddy bear sitting on top of the pillow.</p><p> </p><p>All of the objects had clearly been gathered a little haphazardly and leaned towards the stereotypes of what a girl would like. </p><p> </p><p>She loved every bit of it. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” She said to Reggie who was standing in front of her smiling proudly before turning to look down at the rest of the boys. “All of you. Thank you so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Bobby shrugged nonchalantly but he seemed pleased by her reaction.</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t know how long you’ll be with us, but we want you here. You’re not a burden,” Alex told her kindly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” She said hopefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Luke confirmed, that one word enough to send a rush of happiness coursing through her. </p><p> </p><p>After that the rest of the day was a bit of a blur with Julie and the guys hanging out and getting to know each other all over again. Reggie, Alex and Bobby took turns trading stories about how they had managed to gather the stuff for her “room”. Luke didn’t talk much, certainly not to her, but the few times he caught her looking at him he always offered a small, only slightly awkward smile. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until the rest of the guys had left and she was crawling into her new bed while Luke made himself comfortable on the pullout that he finally spoke to her, his voice drifting up to her in the darkness. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I can’t hear their voices </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like my heart’s echo is all I know</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ringing out over and over </em>
</p><p><em>Saying don’t you dare let go</em> </p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed slightly as he recited to her the lyrics she had added to the unfinished song she found in his notebook. She got it, she really did. She had overstepped. It was just she was so used to them writing together and the words had just come to her seeming to fit so perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said I’m sorry…”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be. I mean yeah, maybe check with me first next time but I’ve been working on that song for weeks and you cracked it. You’re a songwriter.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She didn’t see the point of denying it. “But it was still your song.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, now it’s our song.”</p><p> </p><p>There was another moment of silence which Julie was afraid to break. Luckily Luke chose to do it for her.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, Julie I’m not going to lie to you I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to look at you without thinking about what happened in that alley...what was supposed to happen that night.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“But...I want to try.” </p><p> </p><p>A surge of hope flowed through her and she couldn’t help but grin, knowing he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to try to be friends,” He continued. “If you want to.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” She answered just a little too quickly. “I mean...yeah, I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p> </p><p>The silence stretched again and it wasn’t exactly the comfortable one she and Luke had shared in their past lives. But it was a start. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>She sank down further into her makeshift bed, in her makeshift life and hoped that if she dreamed that night it was of the boy sleeping below her. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t let herself linger on the question of which version that would be. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As my queen Taylor Swift would say...this is me trying...💜</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello again! </p><p>Thank you for your kind words about the last chapter. When I’m not sure if what I’m doing is working your comments keep me writing and I so appreciate it. </p><p>This one is a little shorter, more in line with the length of the chapters in my last story. I can’t keep up with 4,000 words a day so hopefully you guys don’t mind. </p><p>I know in the show the timeline is more condensed but in my version Luke ran away from home in December, and now it’s the end of February. Also I assume he’s not going to school if his parents have missing posters up for him otherwise they could just stake out the school. </p><p>I hope you enjoy this one and don’t feel like Luke is acting out of character. My take is he is predisposed to really like Julie and once he saw he made her cry he couldn’t harbor much anger towards her. There will be more conflict in their future but they are also on the path to a lot of great fluff so yay for that! </p><p>Ok, enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next day Julie took a much needed shower and put on some of the clothes the boys had left for her. Apparently they belonged to Alex’s sister who had gone off to college the year before. Julie felt a little guilty about Alex raiding his sister’s closet on her behalf but it was that or wear the same clothes until she figured out how to get home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The clothes were definitely a little more reserved than she would normally wear but she knew that beggars couldn’t be choosers. Today’s selection was a plain, v-neck t-shirt in a heathered gray and a pair of jean shorts. The shorts were luckily close to her size though they were a little shorter than she usually went for. The shirt on the other hand was way too long on her which wasn’t that surprising given how tall Alex was. It was entirely believable that his sister also had quite a few inches of height on Julie, apparently most of them concentrated in the torso.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tugged at the shirt for a few minutes trying to find a way to make it look less ridiculously oversized and in the end she settled on knotting it up in the back, leaving a sliver of her waist exposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled her hair back into a ponytail thanking the hair gods that she had fallen through time with a hair tie on her wrist. Maybe she could get one of the guys to help her find some more along with some body wash that didn’t smell so strongly of boy. She was hesitant to ask for anything when they had already done so much for her but if the proud looks on their faces were anything to go by she knew they had enjoyed being able to take care of her yesterday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They really were good guys. More than that they really were </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>good guys even if they didn’t remember it. She took a lot of comfort in that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once she was dressed Julie emerged back into the garage where she found Luke sitting on the couch looking oddly nervous. He was wearing his Rush cut off shirt, jeans, orange beanie and vans. Something about seeing him in that familiar spot, in that familiar outfit made her feel...safe. Even if he was currently drumming nervously on his knees and watching the bathroom door like he expected her to jump out and murder him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did jump when she stepped out but he recovered quickly standing up and offering her a slightly awkward smile. She didn’t miss the way his eyes dropped to take in her newly exposed waist and legs though he shot them back up almost instantly. She felt the start of a blush heating up her cheeks and hoped it wasn’t too obvious. It wasn’t like this was the first time Luke had seen her in something this level of exposed but maybe being alive kept his hormones closer to the surface than his ghostly self did. She tried not to dwell on the part of her that liked him noticing her in that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of them seemed to know what to say after that but the fact that he was no longer avoiding her at all costs was a huge win in Julie’s book. She searched for a topic that could safely lead them out of this awkwardness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are the boys coming over today?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head, eying her slightly curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They have school. It’s Monday.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>School. Of course they had school. But shouldn’t Luke be going too?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you graduate already?” She asked, trying to keep her voice casual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was very aware that if she pushed him too hard she could lose the progress they had recently made. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head as a bit of a cloud came over his expression. Apparently it was a sore subject then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I uh...I don’t go anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sudden thought occurred to Julie and it escaped into the open before she could stop it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that because you don’t want your parents to find out where you are?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned deeply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shrugged in an exaggerated way and broke in, hoping against hope that she could convince him she was intuitive and not a stalker.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a lucky guess. You living in Bobby’s garage and all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke still looked slightly skeptical but he continued anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well it’s true. I did run away and I don’t want my parents to know I’m here. So if you ever see a nosy woman or a nerdy guy hanging around here give me a heads up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on your dad isn’t that nerdy,” Julie teased before the look on Luke’s face had her backpedaling. “I mean he’s probably handsome. I’m guessing. Just because...he probably looks like you right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had not wanted to have to let that statement drop but if there was a sure fire way to distract Luke other than his lyrics it was to appeal to his vain side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was rewarded for her mental gymnastics with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying I’m handsome?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m saying you may not be entirely unattractive which you obviously know and just want to hear me say.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned and there was no fighting her blush this time. That smile really would be the death of her eventually. It was only a matter of time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you did say it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t let it go to your head,” She insisted, shaking her head in begrudging amusement. “The point is the guys are at school and you aren’t going. Got it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke eyed her consideringly for a moment before posing his next question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you? Is some homeroom teacher marking you absent as we speak? Someone must be missing you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sucked in a shaky breath as she forced a smile that felt unconvincing even to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No...No one...no one here is looking for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke had the same sympathetic look he had worn when she told him that her mom was dead. She loved him for it but at the same time she wished he would knock it off. It made her want to do something stupid like bury her face in his chest and wrap her arms around his neck and just hold on until he remembered that what he felt for her was </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you really are on your own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, not anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She raised an eyebrow at his determined statement, the passion with which he had said it stunning her slightly though she supposed she really shouldn’t have been surprised. Passionate statements were kind of his thing. She just hadn’t thought she would get to hear that tone applied to her anymore. She was glad to be proven wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke seemed to realize that he had possibly come across a little too invested because he backpedaled slightly, rubbing at the back of his neck in embarrassment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just mean you have us, all of us. We’re kind of like the Island of Misfit Toys over here. The hotdog girl who isn’t musical but has a killer voice? You’ll fit right in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer reference?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Luke’s turn to blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure it was. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a claymation Christmas movie fan, Luke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, ok. Everyone likes that movie, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie decided it was time to let him off the hook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They smiled bashfully at each other for a few long moments and Julie was hit with her another rush of deja vu. This time she was thrown back to their conversation in her kitchen right after they met where he tried to convince her to not take no for an answer. Looking back she couldn’t believe she had ever managed to convince herself she held platonic feelings for him. They had been making eyes at each other from day one. That was a little embarrassing but also somewhat comforting. It meant she was less likely to do something obviously unnatural at this point in their relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their little relationship had been pretty “interesting” from the start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was the stuff we got you ok?” Luke asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s great, thanks again. I especially like the teddy bear,” She teased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head and rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie insisted you needed that,” Luke informed her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I love it,” She told him, actually meaning it. “I think I’ll name it Luke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sputtered a bit at that statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha...excuse me? Why would you name it that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie giggled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he’s my roommate and besides if I get annoyed I can beat up on him instead of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head even as a lazy grin found its way onto his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a little scary Julie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused and frowned slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess I don’t know your last name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Molina,” She supplied. “And you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew his last name of course but she had the presence of mind not to let on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Patterson.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Luke Patterson.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held out her hand for a handshake and almost immediately regretted it. Why was she asking for a handshake? Could she be any more awkward?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily he put her out of misery by placing his good hand in hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Julie Molina. Mostly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was smiling so she didn’t take offense to that last bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They left their hands entwined for just a second too long and both seemed to realize it at the same time, jerking their hands away from each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Luke cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Julie echoed. “What do you do all day while the guys are at school?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke dropped his gaze to the cast on his arm and Julie instantly regretted asking. She really should be counting her blessings that Luke seemed to have mostly come around and not risk bringing up anything that could set them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Usually I’d be working on songs or busking on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked back up and the corner of his lips twitched upwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not also hiding a talent for playing guitar are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head and started to answer without thinking about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I can only play the…” She trailed off realizing she hadn’t actually meant to tell him she played an instrument. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her plan to keep a low profile was a complete disaster at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke didn’t seem inclined to let her move past her almost statement if the way his face lit up was any indication.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you play?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Julie tried to feign like she didn’t know what he was talking about but unsurprisingly Luke wasn’t about to let it go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You started to say you play something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You definitely did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed. She knew Luke well enough to know that at this point there was no going back. She might as well just tell him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Piano. I play the piano.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s face lit up even more and he instantly practically jogged across the garage and started digging through the pile of stuff the boys had carried down from the loft the day before. She was a little worried digging through that mess with his one good arm was going to leave him even more injured than she already had. She was about to protest when he made a little satisfied noise and somehow managed to haul an electric keyboard up with one arm. Julie immediately rushed forward to help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful!” She cautioned, grabbing one end and helping him pull it towards the center of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She helped him set up the stand and then there it was, the very same keyboard she had played in the future albeit a lot less dinged up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you even have this if none of you play? She asked, running her fingers gently along the keys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobby’s dad went through an Ah Ha phase during his midlife crisis,” Luke rolled his eyes. “Once he gave up on being a rockstar he gave it to us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but giggle at the imagery of the guys forced to watch one of their dads doing 80s pop covers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, play me something,” Luke ordered, waving at the keyboard before plopping into a nearby chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment the only songs she could think of were ones they had performed together and she was finding it strangely hard in that moment to remember which ones he would be aware of and which he wouldn’t. She didn’t want to accidentally give herself away through song choice. She switched the keyboard on and stood for a moment, fingers hovering indecisively over it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I look the other way or something?” Luke asked seriously and his strange yet sweet offer was enough to push her into action. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t say why the melody for her Perfect Harmony daydream song was what came out when her fingers danced across the keys but she tried to play it cool and not give away the significance of the song.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke for his part sat quietly and listened with an intense look on his face that he only ever got when he was thinking about music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she finished he hopped up and practically bounced over to her excitedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you come up with that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded, fighting her another blush that wanted to invade her face. Daydreaming an entire song and dance sequence about your crush in the middle of the day counted as coming up with something right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it have lyrics?” He asked, humming the melody under his breath, his brain clearly already whirling with the possibilities.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, no, nope.” She said completely unconvincingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily Luke was too caught up in songwriting mode to catch her blatant lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we write some? It’s not really Sunset Curve’s style but it’s got a good vibe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Julie protested, instantly regretting how forceful she had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead before a smirk settled on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>have words for it. Why can’t I hear them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rain check, ok?” Julie offered, trying to sound nonchalant but all too aware that she was probably failing miserably. “I just don’t feel like singing today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke seemed poised to argue but finally settled just for shrugging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me you won’t keep that wrecking ball of a voice locked away forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie could feel her expression shifting at his words, cycling through shock, and sadness and joy all in a fraction of a second. It made her miss home, it made her amazed at how many things were repeating, but mostly it made her truly realize </span>
  <em>
    <span>this was her Luke</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t shared all of the same memories yet and probably never would but right now she was with him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her </span>
  </em>
  <span>version of him, not some stranger. Not really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And if they were destined to go their separate ways soon she needed to soak in every minute they had together now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whenever now was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She must have looked a little too baffled for a little too long because Luke had finally broken in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, just...this is going to sound really weird but can you tell me what the date is?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke scrunched up his face in confusion but to his credit he answered the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s February 23rd.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” Julie responded absentmindedly. “It’s my birthday next week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Luke asked, seeming not quite willing to move past her odd question. “And you didn’t know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie scrambled for a plausible explanation and in the end decided the less she said the better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes I lose track,” She tried to brush off. “But yeah, I’ll be 16 on March 1st. Well, sort of.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She caught her slip immediately. Unfortunately so did Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll sort of be 16?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um...I just meant it’s not like anything will really change. My life is pretty…well, it is what it is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey come on,” Luke reached out with his good hand and gave her shoulder a gentle shove. “I know you just moved into a garage but it’s not all bad is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” She smiled softly. “Not all bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as she looked into the face of the boy she knew, despite all of the time travel weirdness...it really wasn’t.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>March 1st is my little sister’s birthday so I borrowed that. </p><p>What did we think of the banter?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Beatrice and Breakfast at Tiffany’s</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, it’s another long chapter. 🙃 I have no idea what I’m doing at this point lol. Thanks for sticking with me anyway. </p><p>The song in this chapter is NOT by me. It’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something and it came out in 1995 though later in the year than I set this story. I don’t care lol. Anything from 95 is fair game in my alternative use. 😂</p><p>A good mix of fluff and a little plot advancement in this one. Don’t worry the rest of the guys will be back next chapter. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next couple of days passed in a bit of a blur. The rest of the guys had school so that left her and Luke alone for the majority of the day. Luke was clearly going a little stir crazy not being able to go out and busk on his own. He mostly sat around working on song lyrics, or at least pretending to. After Julie had finished that song in his notebook he seemed to be determined to get her to write with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted to. Of course she wanted to. Writing had always been a way to center her mind and she definitely needed that at the moment. More than that writing </span>
  <em>
    <span>with Luke </span>
  </em>
  <span>had quickly become one of her favorite activities back in 2020. It had been like them opening a window to each other’s souls but in a way they didn’t have to openly acknowledge. Flynn would say using music as a way to experience intimacy without having to admit to their feelings wasn’t healthy long term but it had been enough for Julie at the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The problem was she was still replaying Willie’s words about being careful and keeping in mind what she was here to do. Of course, she had already accomplished what she came here to do and yet she was still stuck so maybe all bets were off. But she couldn’t shake the fear that the more ingrained she became in the boys' lives the more trouble she could cause one way or another. Maybe she would cause ripples that changed the course of the future. Maybe she would hurt the guys when she eventually had to leave. Maybe she would lose track of her desire to leave at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, it was just too dangerous to let herself become any more deeply ingrained in their lives and their was no quicker way to become a permanent fixture in Luke’s life than to bond over music. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when he had asked casually the first time if she wanted to do some writing with him she had declined saying she wasn’t feeling inspired. His expression had shifted into a slightly pouty one she knew he would deny if called on it but he had let his request lie there without protest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For about five minutes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had asked her again and when she turned him down he had nodded as though he was taking in her words but she had her doubts. His next strategy came into play about 20 minutes later when he nonchalantly read out some of the lyrics he was working on and asked if she could think of a line to complete the verse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if she would just forget she had said no and be tricked into writing with him. Honestly, that wasn’t the dumbest strategy in the world since writing with him felt more natural than not doing it. But she was determined so she only said she couldn’t think of anything and tried to look busy sorting through her donated clothes for the 50th time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that’s basically how the next two days went, Luke trying everything he could think of to convince or trick her into writing with him and her struggling more and more to put him off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s efforts were a lot but they weren’t the only thing on her mind. She was still running through scenarios in her mind of what she needed to do to get home. The problem was she was overall completely in the dark. One five minute conversation with a skateboarding ghost who didn’t seem to have a good grip on the process himself was really not enough information to base the decision to launch herself into the past on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was strange she had never exactly been someone who was known for being bold or impulsive. She had been free in the garage, writing and singing with her mom. She had been cautiously confident in her voice when she performed at school. She would even say she had been brave in a quiet way. But she hadn’t been someone who could easily turn off her thoughts and just go for something without a plan for how to be successful. She had spent a year not playing piano or singing because she couldn’t get past the fear that she couldn’t do it without her Mom or worse...that she could. She never would have come up with the idea to stage a hostile takeover of the spirit rally and fight for her spot in the music program. That was all Luke and the boys. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So the fact that she had literally jumped at the chance to save them was a testament to how much she loved them but it was also a testament to how much they had changed her. That’s what people you love do. Change you. Not into some new person just a truer version of yourself you didn’t even know you had in you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only now here she was, trapped in the past, trying </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to change the boys she loved so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a little bit exhausting frankly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She needed to get home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But so far her only lead was the alley where she had popped into 1995. She figured it would probably be a good idea to check back there periodically in case the hole had returned. The problem was she could barely cross the garage without Luke asking if she needed anything or trying to convince her to write with him. How was she supposed to get halfway across LA without him getting suspicious and asking where she was going? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the end Julie decided that counterintuitively the best strategy might be to just ask him to come along. Obviously she would not open with “want to come look for a portal to the future with me”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um...Luke?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” He was clearly distracted. Apparently she had managed to catch him in the middle of a particularly tricky moment of writing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to help me with something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That got his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it a song?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. More like a slightly tedious bus journey.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tossed aside his notebook and sat up clearly intrigued. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do you need to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Back to the Orpheum, well, right down the street. I lost something and I want to see if I can find it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been days, Julie. Whatever it is it’s probably long gone by now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had prepared for this response and she wasn’t particularly proud of what she had come up with. But she figured she had already told him so many white lies and half truths since she traveled back in time. What was one more for a good cause? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. But it’s important. It’s a necklace that was my Mom’s. I just have to check.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In reality her mom’s necklace was safe and sound in her pocket but he didn’t know that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded, seeming to appreciate without needing to be told that anything that had belonged to her mom was sacred to Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, we’ll take a look. But we’re not taking the bus.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie tilted her head in question and Luke just grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know where Bobby keeps the keys to his van.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was a little stunned by the image of Luke driving though she knew she shouldn’t be. He was 17, old enough to have his license, and this was LA. Everyone drives in LA. But the fact that she had first met him as a ghost with poofing abilities meant she had never had to consider how it would feel to sit in the front seat of a vehicle he was driving. Well, it seemed like she was about to find out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He won’t mind us borrowing it?” She asked somewhat skeptically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke just smirked and shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s for an important mission. He’ll get over it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will he?” Julie muttered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In her limited experience Bobby did not seem like the type to just “get over” things but still. She couldn’t help but smile a little. Driving with Luke...messing with his friend...it all felt so...normal. So </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke disappeared for a few minutes and Julie had enough time to wonder how Bobby’s parents would react if they found out that not only was there a teenage boy living in their garage but apparently he could easily access their house while they were out too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily he was an intruder who was usually interested in raiding their fridge rather than their valuables. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Luke returned he shook the keys he held triumphantly and led her to where Bobby’s van was parked. It was huge and white, a bench seat in the front and the rest of the space taken up with storage in the back where they must haul around their instruments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Luke asked proudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie bit her lip as she examined the van.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly? It’s a little creepy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke clutched at his chest in exaggerated offense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How dare you insult Beatrice!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobby named his van Beatrice?” Julie asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobby named our studio Wonderland,” Luke said derisively. “He can’t be trusted with naming anything. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>named the van Beatrice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Beatrice is a little creepy,” Julie reiterated teasingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke reached out and patted the hood as Julie climbed into the passenger seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t listen to her, Beatrice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie rolled her eyes but of course was the truth was she found his antics incredibly endearing. It was a problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke jogged over to the driver’s side and climbed in before starting up the van.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do all four of you fit up here?” Julie asked, glancing around at the seat that was big enough for three people tops. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rock paper scissors for who has to ride with the gear in the back,” Luke explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but smile at that. She could picture it so clearly, the intensity with which they would play the game, the dejected state of the loser and the gleeful teasing of the winners.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They drove in silence for a couple of minutes before Luke reached over and switched on the radio. It was playing a commercial and Julie marveled at how truly different things were in 1995. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, she knew that radio stations were still a thing in 2020 she just couldn’t remember a time when she or her friends had actually listened to one. It was all Spotify premium accounts and Youtube playlists with adblock enabled. The idea that you just had to let someone else choose the music </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>listen to car dealership commercials in between seemed practically barbaric to Julie. She knew there were CDs by this point, obviously the boys’ demo was proof of that, and before that there had been tapes. But the van didn’t seem to have the capability to play either if she was examining the unfamiliar console correctly. Weird. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually through the crackly advertisements ended and a song started playing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke hummed along seemingly without thinking about it and Julie couldn’t help but glance over at him. He was wearing yet another one of his cutoff shirts and if she was being honest the sight of him driving, one arm resting casually on the wheel was doing something to her. The fact that he was humming under his breath wasn’t helping still the butterflies in her stomach either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually he seemed to notice her looking at him and ducked his head in apparent embarrassment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Everyone secretly likes this song, ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie gave herself a little shake and forced herself to break eye contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never heard it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She realized her mistake as soon as she said it because Luke was gaping at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, what? No way. Everyone knows “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The old movie?” Julie frowned in confusion. Her dad loved old movies and they had definitely watched one with that title. Her main memories of it were some super racist bits played for comedy, a woman who had been involved in a borderline child marriage, and a cat who got shoved out of a taxi in the rain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, the Deep Blue Something song,” Luke waited for recognition to sink in with no luck. “They play it every five minutes. It’s not exactly cool but it’s catchy as hell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could try to play it off like she had been joking or that she had suddenly remembered but that would probably just come across as more suspicious at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, you’ve got to experience what the rest of us have been hearing non-stop while you’ve apparently been hiding under a rock.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke reached over and turned the volume dial sharply to the right, the song blasting through the van’s speakers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I see you, the only one who knew me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now your eyes see through me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess I was wrong</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So what now? It's plain to see we're over</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I hate when things are over</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When so much is left undone</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lyrics weren’t exactly groundbreaking but Julie could definitely relate to them at the moment. Someone who used to know you so well looking at you like a stranger? Not wanting to admit something was over? Not to mention “so much is left undone” could be the tagline for the life she had wanted to live with the boys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before she could let herself get too caught up in less pleasant thoughts the chorus kicked in and Luke went from humming along to full on singing and if that wasn’t an effective distraction she didn’t know what was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She said, "I think I remember the film</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but burst out laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it? That’s the reason they should stay together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think! Just feel it,” Luke grinned. “Come on, roll your window down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie reached over to comply but stopped short when she realized there was no button to do so. She glanced over to see Luke grabbing a little handle and twisting it and hurried to do the same. After exerting a surprising amount of effort she finally had her window down and turned proudly only to find Luke laughing at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First time in a car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Julie grumbled. “Your precious Beatrice is just a little difficult.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke rolled his eyes good naturedly as the song faded out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops, we missed it,” Julie said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me a second,” Luke started fiddling with one of the dials, different songs and voices bursting into the van with staticky tones before disappearing as he continued turning the dial. Finally Breakfast at Tiffany’s pierced through again and Luke sat back triumphantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you they play it constantly,” Luke emphasized. “Ok, you’re going to sing it with me this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know the song, Luke,” Julie protested but it was half hearted at best. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t fantasized about a scenario very like this once or twice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s easy, like stupid easy. That’s why it gets stuck in everyone’s head. Just put your hand out the window and embrace the moment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That wasn’t exactly Julie’s strong point. But she definitely wanted it to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time the chorus came around she only managed to get a word or two out in the right timing but Luke smiled encouragingly and she kept trying to sing along. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the third time the chorus played Julie and Luke were both belting it out, laughing and yelling to be heard over the air rushing by the open windows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both finished the song more shouting along than singing in any traditional sense of the word but they were having too much fun to care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke turned the volume down slightly as their laughter faded away into an only slightly awkward silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someday they’re going to be playing our songs on the radio,” Luke said eventually, seeming to regret it in the middle of the sentence. “Well, I thought so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head. This couldn’t go on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, the Orpheum isn’t the only path to your dream. I’m so sorry I screwed that up for you but someone once told me you don’t ask for permission, you book gigs by doing. Maybe the Orpheum doesn’t want you now but you’ll find another way and then they’ll be begging for Sunset Curve to play there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke focused on the road not looking in her direction but he didn’t miss the bashful smile tugging at his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who told you that? They sound pretty smart.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie forced down the chuckle that wanted to escape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has his moments, yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually they made it to the general area around the Orpheum and after circling for about 15 minutes Luke managed to find a parking spot they were 60% sure wouldn’t result in them being immediately towed. Julie led the way doing her best to remember anything that would tell her she was on the right track. Unfortunately the only landmark she remembered for sure was the Orpheum so they had to walk until it’s familiar sign was in front of them before she could count alleys and find the one with the familiar dumpster with its stickers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie’s heart sank at the sight. No hole. No way home. Not that she had much of a plan for how to distract Luke if there had been one for her to jump into but still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What were you doing in this alley the other night?” Luke asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the smell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People who eat street dogs in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones or whatever,” Julie countered earning her a confused look from Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are a weird girl, Julie Molina.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head ruefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea,” She muttered under her breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke wandered away from her to search a little further into the alley and Julie carefully pulled the necklace out of her pocket. Sending up a silent apology to both her mom and to Luke she dropped it on the ground and turned around as though she were searching in the other direction. She figured the least she could do was let Luke find it and feel like the hero.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure enough only a minute or so later he let out a triumphant cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie spun around and felt a rush of affection for the boy who stood before her clutching her mom’s necklace like it was something precious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Luke,” She said softly as he gently deposited the necklace into her open palm. “You have no idea what this means to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She reached up to put the necklace on and struggled with the clasp for a moment before Luke stepped forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie swallowed hard but didn’t protest as she pulled her hair out of the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she was being honest she was pretty sure she could have gotten it fastened faster than he was but that thought felt pretty distant as his hands brushed gently against the nape of her neck. He struggled for several long seconds and Julie practically held her breath until he finally managed it and stepped away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” She murmured , looking anywhere but at him which didn’t leave a lot of good options in an alley. Her eyes landed on the stickers on the dumpster. “Hey, do you know what these stickers are for? I keep seeing them around, especially the rabbit ones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke stepped close to take a look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know about the rabbit ones but the rose one is the logo for Red Rose Records. They’re legendary.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” Julie started to reach out to run her fingers over the mysterious rabbit sticker before thinking better of it. “Just wondering.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, do you want to get some food while we’re here?” Luke asked excitedly. “There’s this awesome burger place around the corner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded and they set off. They had barely stepped back onto the street though when someone caught her eye. A white helmet, long brown hair, the teenage boy they were attached to whizzing by on a skateboard. She didn’t hesitate to think better of it or explain her actions to Luke, Julie took off down the street chasing after Willie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Wait up!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t slow down but she was pretty sure she heard Luke running after her. She chased after the skateboarder, his white helmet practically gleaming in the sun and giving her something to follow. She dashed across the street, luckily avoiding any people or cars and came to a stop in front of what appeared to be a taco shop. She whipped her head back and forth searching for the possibly ghostly guy she had been chasing. He was gone again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke skidded to a stop next to her, breathing hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t answer because she had seen something else. A white rabbit sticker someone had attached to the exterior of the building in front of her. She reached out curiously and opened the door to the restaurant and hurried inside, Luke following after. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could have just told me if you wanted tacos instead of burgers,” Luke complained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look who it is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A voice unbearably familiar to Julie called out from behind the counter. It was her mom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jack, I’m taking a break!” Rose called to a guy who was manning the register at the other end of the counter. He waved her off distractedly and Rose slipped out of her apron before approaching them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie managed not to call her mom this time but had to remind herself at the last minute that she shouldn’t know her name at all. Luckily Luke jumped in at that point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rose, right? From the Orpheum?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was worried about you guys. But here you are and with your number one fan. I love a happy ending.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why were you worried about us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose shot him a look like he was crazy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last I heard you went for street dogs and that guy ended up killing someone that night. I heard your friend say you left in an ambulance and then the next day the rancid hotdog death was all over the news. I didn’t think the name they gave was yours but it’s still good to see you alive and well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked absolutely stunned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait...the street dogs </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed somebody</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke turned to face Julie, a strange expression on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie gulped hoping against hope that he wouldn’t think too hard about her actions that night given this new information. She didn’t feel very confident that she was that lucky though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were seconds away from eating them,” Luke said, his voice taking on a strange tone. “All three of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you should thank whatever guardian angel made you think better of it,” Rose said. “God works in mysterious ways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Julie cut in hoping to move the conversation song. “It was lucky.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>luck</span>
  </em>
  <span>…” Luke started to protest but Julie cut him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You work here too?” She asked Rose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a lot of jobs,” Rose shrugged. “You have to hustle in LA you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded though her entire work history was a lemonade stand she and Flynn had run for exactly three hours before getting bored. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually...never mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Julie asked just wanting to keep her mom talking for a few minutes longer. She wanted to save up hearing that voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I really did like your band’s sound,” She directed that to Luke. “It sucks that you didn’t get your big shot. One of my other jobs is in this coffee shop, nothing fancy, but they’ve started letting me book some live music. There’s someone I know, she’s a lot, but she’s got connections. I think I could get her there to hear you play.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! We’ll do it!” Luke didn’t hesitate for a second, a familiar excited glow taking over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh...aren’t you out of commission for awhile?” Rose asked, nodding at Luke’s cast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head eagerly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I can still sing. The rest of the boys will pick up the slack.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should wait though,” Rose still seemed skeptical. “This would be a one shot kind of deal, and my...friend...isn’t exactly known to hold back. If you don’t have a full sound you’ll lose her in the first song.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It will be a full sound,” Luke insisted. “We have a secret weapon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Rose asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had to admit she was curious as to what this supposed secret weapon was too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and yanked her towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meet Julie, our new keyboard player with a killer voice. Trust me, the new and improved Sunset Curve will blow your friend away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie felt her eyes widen in shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much for keeping a low profile. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Luke has no chill when it comes to the band lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. We’re all mad here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Writing is hard. I know you all know that already but I feel like we’re friends and this is my safe space where I can rant a little lol. I love writing this story but sometimes it just feels like every single word is a struggle and today was one of those days. Getting a couple of comments pop up though gave me the burst of good energy I needed to power through so thank you so much. If you ever think comments don’t matter you’re so wrong! </p><p> Luke is being a dumb boy and Julie is over it. Lots of good band banter in this one as well. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Julie managed not to react to Luke’s declaration about her new role in his band. Well, that was not actually true. She was pretty sure that the look on her face was probably equivalent to her reaction when Carlos had once cut her hair while she slept. So...horrified, infuriated and panicked. But she managed not to say anything as Rose wrote down her number for Luke and told him to call her in a few days so they could set up a date for their performance. She managed not to say anything while they walked back to Bobby’s van (she refused to call it Beatrice when Luke’s antics suddenly seemed less adorable). She managed not to say something for most of the car ride back to Bobby’s while Luke practically vibrated with excitement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But when he finally seemed to notice her silent fuming and asked her if she was ok she lost her ability to hold back any longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I be ok? It’s not like you just completely screwed me over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke blanched at her harsh words and he seemed to be genuinely confused, staring over at her for a beat too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep your eyes on the road! You’re already down an arm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke jerked and turned back to the road but only a couple of seconds passed before he was glancing back at her nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did I do that?” He asked disbelievingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just decide someone’s in your band because you need them. Again. Who does that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sputtered and tried to respond to all parts of her accusation at once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think...no, no...not that I wasn’t thinking just that I didn’t think you would mind...cause you said we would find another way and...what do you mean again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh!” Julie let out a frustrated noise and crossed her arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really didn’t get it. This was going through her dream box and insisting she join the band all over again. She knew it was his dream and he sometimes got carried away when it came to his music. She knew that but it didn’t make it ok to put his needs ahead of everything else. She had come a long way from thinking Luke only cared about himself but she also wasn’t about to let him off the hook for just assuming everyone around him would jump when he said to. It was less like he only cared about himself and more like he was just so passionate that he couldn’t imagine everyone else wasn’t just as excited as he was. It wasn’t malicious but that didn’t make it ok. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Especially when Julie was trying </span>
  <em>
    <span>so hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>to help them already even though they didn’t know it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that a good ugh or a bad ugh?” Luke asked, earning him a completely incredulous look from Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you really think there’s a possibility it was a good ugh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He winced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping maybe it was an “ugh, I’ve recovered from the shock now and I’m super excited to join Sunset Curve” or something,” Luke said dejectedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie just shook her head. This boy really was something regardless of what year she knew him in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Luke. It wasn’t that kind of ugh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shot her a wide eyed, innocent look that had been known to work on her when she wasn’t this mad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, is there any chance we could edge it toward that kind because you’re kind of bringing down the mood.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie swore she could actually feel her blood boiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow. Really? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke seemed to realize his mistake right away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey...I just meant that we should be excited!  A few hours ago we were talking about not giving up and finding a way and now the universe has dropped a way right into our laps.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled to a stop in front of Bobby’s house as he spoke and Julie rolled her eyes as she reached for the door handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Except apparently </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> the way the universe has dropped into </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> lap and you’re just taking that for granted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Julie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t stop to hear what vaguely insulting thing he would say next just hopped out of the van and strode angrily towards the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wrenched the doors open and stomped inside, dropping heavily onto the couch and folded her arms. Reggie was sitting at the other end of the couch and Alex and Bobby were each occupying a chair, their feet up on the coffee table. All three of them raised their eyebrows and shot each other questioning looks at Julie’s somewhat dramatic entrance but she ignored all of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke came bursting in after her, all gangly limbs and nervous energy, glancing between her and his bandmates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where have you two been?” Alex asked, looking torn between worry and amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and why does Julie look like she dropped her ice cream cone?” Reggie chimed in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok...she’s not five.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie lost something the other night and we just took a little drive to find it,” Luke explained cautiously, trying to make eye contact with Julie which she studiously avoided. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby sat up sharply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You took a drive? You took a drive in what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke held up his hands defensively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Beatrice is fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never agreed to that name and I definitely never agreed to you driving my van.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chill out, Bobby. I had to help Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex gestured at Julie’s irate form.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Looks like that went well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie leaned over towards Julie as though to share a secret even though he seemed physically incapable of whispering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you let him drive you with one arm,” He said, only dropping his voice slightly. “He’s dangerous enough with both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie cringed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t really think about it. I was distracted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie nodded knowingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it the…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gestured to his arms and chest referencing Luke’s upper body in the most horrifically embarrassing game of charades Julie had ever been involved in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Julie hissed, glancing up at Luke before quickly looking back at Reggie as a blush spread over her cheeks like wildfire. “By my mom’s necklace. I dropped it the other night and Luke took me to find it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Looks like you were successful,” Bobby said, nodding towards her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, so why are you two right back where you were a week ago?” Alex asked, glancing between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, only this time it’s like the opposite cause Julie hates Luke now,” Reggie pointed out helpfully. “That’s fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it, Reg? Is it really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hate him,” Julie said flatly. “I just don’t want to look at him for awhile.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, could someone just tell us what happened?” Bobby broke in. “After Luke stole my van.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After I </span>
  <em>
    <span>borrowed </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beatrice,” Luke started. “We found Julie’s necklace then we ran into that girl from the Orpheum the other night, Rose. She thinks she can get us a gig with some big shot in the audience.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All three of the other boys sat up straighter at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that sounds amazing. What’s the catch?” Alex asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke scrunched up his face preemptively, clearly sensing that his friends might not be so eager to hear the next part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I may or may not have implied that Julie was joining the band playing keys and singing for us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Implied?” Bobby repeated skeptically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can play piano too?” Reggie was clearly focusing on different details of Luke’s story. “Rad!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you happen to ask Julie if she wanted to join the band first?” Alex cut through. “Or if we wanted her to for that matter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot an apologetic look over at Julie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None taken,” She managed a small smile though it quickly dropped away when Luke attempted to make eye contact yet again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All in favor of Julie joining the band?” Reggie called out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of the boys raised their hands and Julie threw her hands up in exasperation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I never said we didn’t want you just that he should have asked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, your voice is crazy good,” Reggie agreed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you keep Luke in emotional turmoil which is entertaining,” Bobby joked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, buddy,” Luke muttered, annoyance clearly written across his face. “Look Julie, Alex is right. I shouldn’t have volunteered without asking you first. Even if…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He trailed off and Julie shook her head warningly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do kind of owe us,” Luke blurted out. “I know it was an accident but we wouldn’t need to do this if you hadn’t busted my arm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And there it is,” Alex groaned, slumping in his chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sprang to her feet, pointing around the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did we not just establish today that I saved all of your lives?” She spun to face Luke and took a slightly menacing step towards him. “Some of you </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait...what?” Reggie asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did we miss something?” Alex seemed equally confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pretty sure no one saved my life,” Bobby chimed in, earning him a glare from just about everyone. “Just saying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked like he was about to answer his friends’ questions and possibly even pose some of his own but he seemed to think better of it at the last moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Later guys, ok?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed, all of the energy seeming to drain out of her at once. It was all just too much. Losing the guys then finding them again. Saving their lives then ruining them. Making up with Luke only to find themselves on opposite sides of an argument almost immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt almost like she had after Luke had first told her about Caleb’s curse. Like the world she had been building for herself in her mind where she was happy and those she loved were safe was just a dream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A dream she had already woken from multiple times but just couldn’t quite bring herself to fully let go no matter the consequences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was really coming back to bite her now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie dropped back to the couch, her head tipping forward to rest in her hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt more than saw Luke approach her, somehow the air almost vibrating when he got closer to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She lifted her head ever so slightly only to see Luke kneeling in front of her, head tipped up ever so slightly so he could finally make that eye contact he’d been attempting since they got back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She intended to meet his gaze with a blank stare but she found that to be an almost impossible task in reality when faced with his wide eyes and open expression. It was the same look he had given her when he poofed back into the garage after she had rejoined the band back in 2020. It had worked then and it turned out it was just as effective in the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He said softly. “I’m not going to throw the other night in your face anymore. That’s the past, it’s over and done with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head, the tiniest ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d be surprised.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignored her slightly odd statement and pushed on, reaching out to rest one hand lightly on her knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The point is I want you to be in the band. Not just because you can help us impress Rose’s big shot but because you’re crazy talented and you’re our friend. We want </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I’m sorry I didn’t ask you right. Or at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The gentle smile Julie had been fighting broke free and spread across her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re friends now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke ducked his head bashfully but he was smiling too. He glanced back up at her and their eyes locked for just a second too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a moment of silence before Reggie broke in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is anyone else feeling the tension?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie wished she could melt into the floor in that moment and Luke didn’t seem to be faring much better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” He grumbled, reaching out to shove at his friend who managed to dodge his attempt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see chemistry,” Alex agreed, grinning and ducking out of the way of the pillow Luke lobbed in his direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t make out in my van,” Bobby sighed. “Or my garage. Or anywhere that I might see. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re just friends, guys,” Julie insisted, hating that her voice rose slightly in pitch as she said it. “So cut it out ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Alex nodded though the grin was still firmly in place on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Great. She had been so worried about being stuck in the past but maybe she should have been more concerned about dying of humiliation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke didn’t seem to be doing much better but he did turn back to face her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what do you say? Do you want to join Sunset Curve?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated as she considered the implications of any answer she could give him. On the one hand she knew there was logic behind trying to stay as detached as possible from the boys’ lives in 1995. On the other hand she had already had more than her share of slip ups. It was unlikely she was getting out of the past without having changed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>at this point. And if that was the case shouldn’t she make sure that at least one of the things she changed was positive? If she could help ensure that her boys got the future they deserved where all of their dreams came true shouldn’t she do it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was pretty terrible at this whole objective time traveler thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok. But just as a temporary thing ok? Until your arm heals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Luke looked slightly disappointed by this answer he quickly hid it under a mostly triumphant look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Reggie called out, holding out his hand for a celebratory high five which Julie gave him with a grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to the family,” Alex told her happily. “We’re one of those families where everyone is the crazy one but we’re mostly harmless.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie chuckled and Luke rolled his eyes even as he gave her another one of those annoyingly knee weakening smiles. Luckily she was already sitting down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, everyone’s a little bit crazy,” Luke said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t believe how many echoes of her old life with the boys kept slipping through into this one. She wasn’t sure if that was down to fate or humans being extremely predictable. Either way she managed to recover before giving away the fact that she had heard Luke say that exact phrase before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean “we’re all mad here” don’t you?” She said instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice,” Bobby nodded approvingly. “She gets me. Finally someone who appreciates literature.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke groaned as he stood and flopped onto the couch between Reggie and Julie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t encourage him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie smiled and nudged his knee with hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she had been angry with him only a few minutes ago but somehow that feeling already seemed far out of reach. It helped that she had always known he meant well despite his inconsiderate methods but it was more than that. She knew she should be trying to get home with every fiber of her being, and she was really, but the truth was...in this moment she was glad to be with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the guys were already moving on to excitedly discuss the upcoming gig, their voices rising into a chaotic but homey wall of noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie glanced over at Luke only to find him already looking at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He mouthed his next words silently, keeping them just for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded, feeling her gaze soften against her better judgment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, should we order a pizza?” Reggie asked, cutting through the atmosphere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, another pizza?” Julie groaned. “Be honest, when was the last time any of you ate a vegetable?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to know,” Alex admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I had broccoli yesterday,” Bobby protested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t count,” Luke scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, why don’t I count?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sat back while the four boys teased each affectionately and tried to push any fears about what she had just agreed to off for another day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe what she had just done was wrong but it was hard to believe that when being part of this family felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can feel the tension too, Reggie. I can feel it. 😂</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Luck and teddy bears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All of your comments are so nice and so fun to read and just keep me going honestly so thank you very much. 💜</p><p>Just a short and sweet chapter today. I wasn’t quite in the mind set to move the plot forward tonight but I wanted to write and I wanted to give you guys something sweet and comforting. </p><p>Enjoy! ☺️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the end they did end up ordering pizza. </p><p> </p><p>Their only concession to Julie’s concerns about their diet was making one of them a pizza with peppers and mushrooms which wasn’t much but she had decided to count it as a win. </p><p> </p><p>Once they were all stuffed with greasy food the conversation had quickly shifted to their upcoming gig. </p><p> </p><p>“So is this like a one song kind of thing or a full set?” Bobby asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know yet,” Luke said. “I didn’t ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“And who exactly is this friend of Rose’s with connections?” Reggie wanted to know.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t ask that either,” Luke admitted.</p><p> </p><p>“What exactly did you ask?” Alex said dryly. “Are you sure you’ve actually booked us this gig? Could she have been confusing us with another band whose lead guitarist almost went splat on the night of their big break?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie tried to hide her chuckle behind her hand but Luke shot her a reproachful look anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, alright, I get it ok,” Luke sighed. “I may have gotten a little overexcited and forgotten to nail down some details.”</p><p> </p><p>“You had time to basically take hostage a whole new band member but not to ask any questions,” Alex smirked. “Sounds about right.”</p><p> </p><p>“A little help, Julie?” Luke groaned, shooting her his best puppy dog eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really asking your hostage for backup?” Julie teased. “You’re on your own.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like her more and more by the minute,” Bobby laughed, holding his hand out to Reggie for a high five. </p><p> </p><p>“So much for loyalty you jerks,” Luke said but if the smile he sported was any indication he was enjoying this as much as any of them. </p><p> </p><p>Julie finally decided to take pity on him.</p><p> </p><p>“My...Rose said to call her in a few days to figure everything out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, we know we’re doing at least one song, right?” Reggie said good naturedly. “So which one should we do?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke leaned forward eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been thinking about that…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m shocked,” Alex said sarcastically. “This is my shocked face.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke ignored his friend and kept talking. </p><p> </p><p>“At first I was thinking Now or Never but I’m not sure it would suit Julie’s voice or adding piano. So maybe we could do Long Weekend or In Your Starlight.”</p><p> </p><p>“In Your Starlight?” Julie frowned. “I don’t know that one.”</p><p> </p><p>They all seemed surprised by that and Reggie seemed particularly amused. </p><p> </p><p>“Our biggest fan doesn’t know our most romantic song? I can’t believe it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt her eyebrows shooting up to the top of her forehead but she tried her best to school her expression back to something more neutral before the guys noticed. She probably failed but at least she tried.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, come on you’ve got to know that one,” Bobby chimed in before starting to sing slightly off key. “Why would I ever put up a fight, when I could get lost in your starlight…”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a reason we don’t give you singing parts,” Alex cringed.</p><p> </p><p>Luke squirmed a little uncomfortably in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“She said she didn’t know it. Anyway, can we focus please? We need to pick a song so we can start rehearsing tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Bright?” Julie suggested, glancing around curiously as she took in the strange looks on everyone’s faces. “What? What did I say?”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you even know about Bright?” Luke asked, face scrunching up in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Luke only showed it to us a couple of weeks ago,” Reggie said. “We rehearsed it here a couple of times but we never recorded it. We never even played it for anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cursed herself for being so dumb as she scrambled for an excuse that would allow her to get out of this one.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a reason for that...and that reason is…” She paused half in a panic before a possible saving grace occurred to her. “I  saw it in Luke’s notebook. Which we’ve already established I shouldn’t have looked in without permission but he forgave me so. All good. Anyway…”</p><p> </p><p>“Makes sense,” Alex shrugged. “It might not be a bad choice. It’s definitely fresh.”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the guys seemed to have accepted her excuse without any further thought but Luke was still frowning. He seemed to catch himself though and force himself back into the conversation. Julie just hoped he has a short memory and would forget to ask her about the ever growing list of weird things she said and did. That wasn’t too much to ask was it?</p><p> </p><p>Ok, maybe she was in trouble. More trouble. It wasn’t her fault that she was a terrible liar. Incredibly</p><p>It had always worked out for her so far whether it was the whole hologram band thing or her claiming to be Reggie’s cousin briefly. Maybe her luck would continue. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” Luke finally said. “Would Bright really work with piano added in?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie had to stop herself from laughing. He had no idea. It had worked. It had really worked. Bright had been the start of everything.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, it would work.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, we’ll start working on Bright tomorrow. We’ll have to figure out some new harmonies and divide up the lines. Maybe we could…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t mean to interrupt him with a loud yawn but she did anyway. </p><p> </p><p>She did her best to stifle it with her hand but she was fighting a losing battle.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” She said shyly once she had finally finished yawning.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be, it’s getting late,” Alex said. “I should get back anyway. My parents will be watching the clock somewhere thinking I’m up to no good.”</p><p> </p><p>“And my parents will have not even noticed I didn’t come home after school,” Reggie joked, even though there was something a little sad lingering behind his smile. “But I should go home I guess.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a small surge of panic rush through her as they stood. She was tired there was no denying that but she wasn’t exactly eager to go to sleep. She had only been in 1995 for a week and she had already woken herself up with nightmares several times. Actually once Luke had been the one to wake her up which had been particularly embarrassing. Luckily the rest of the time she had been able to keep herself quiet enough not to wake him but she still hadn’t enjoyed laying on her mattress, chest heaving in the aftermath of her torturous imagination. </p><p> </p><p>She had suffered from nightmares since her mom got sick so it wasn’t like it was anything new but they had slowly been fading away over the past year. Only now they seemed to be back in full force, featuring not just her mom but her dad, Carlos and Flynn. Sometimes they were begging her to come home and sometimes she was home only she couldn’t find them. Her house was just empty and abandonded when she got back.</p><p> </p><p>So she didn’t especially want to go to sleep just yet even though she knew realistically she couldn’t exactly avoid it forever.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys don’t want to stick around a little longer?” Julie asked quickly. “We could work on the song or...eat another couple of slices of pizza or…”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you scared to go to sleep?” Alex asked gently, his eyes soft and understanding.</p><p> </p><p>Julie stared back at him in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would you think I was scared?”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke told us you’ve been having nightmares,” Bobby explained matter of factly, promoting Julie to shoot Luke a betrayed look. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks a lot,” She muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie…” Luke trailed off seemingly unsure what to say. </p><p> </p><p>“”He was just worried about you,” Alex offered. </p><p> </p><p>“And completely clueless when it came to being helpful,” Bobby pointed out. “He’s terrified of girls who are crying or otherwise in distress.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t say terrified,” Luke protested.</p><p> </p><p>“I would,” Reggie said, standing up and holding out a hand in Julie’s direction. “Come on, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned and glanced at the other boys who didn’t seem any more clued into Reggie’s plan than she did.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are we going?” She asked him, placing her hand cautiously in his and letting him tug her to her feet.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie shrugged and gave her a smile so sweet she swore she could feel something physically squeezing her heart in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to tuck you in.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence before Alex spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you dude, she’s not five.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually,” Julie spoke up, fighting against the lump in her throat and burning in her eyes that she had an unpleasant suspicion could turn into full blown tears if given half the chance. “That sounds really nice, Reggie.”</p><p> </p><p>He stood a little straighter and grinned triumphantly, giving her hand a squeeze before using it to pull her towards the ladder leading to the loft. Julie glanced over her shoulder at the other boys who were watching their bandmates’ (one decidedly newer than the other) antics with a mix of amusement and concern. </p><p> </p><p>Julie used her free hand to give a little wave which Alex and Bobby returned. Luke gave her a half smile and a nod instead.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie released her hand and climbed up the ladder before reaching down to help Julie up. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I need to change,” Julie pointed out, fighting down the embarrassment burning through her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll wait,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” Julie started only to be interrupted by a voice floating up from below.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!” </p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t sound amused by his friend’s obliviousness. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh right! I’ll turn around,” Reggie spun and faced the other direction, covering his eyes with one hand for good measure. </p><p> </p><p>Julie leaded over the edge of the loft nervously and saw that Alex and Bobby had already left the garage. Luke was sitting on the couch staring determinedly down at his lap.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that was probably as close to privacy as she was going to get.</p><p> </p><p>Julie quickly grabbed the one pair of sleep shorts Alex had brought for her and shimmied out of her jeans before tugging them on. She didn’t bother to change her tshirt or even to take off her bra, too aware that Reggie was right there. She would slip it off after he left and the lights were off. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m decent,” She announced and Reggie turned back to face her with another of his signature sweet smiles.</p><p> </p><p>He nodded toward her mattress and Julie crawled onto it, pulling the blanket over herself as she laid down. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie crouched next to her and pulled the blanket all the way up to her neck, patting it a few times for good measure. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to have good dreams tonight,” Reggie told her firmly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie tried to smile but it came out more as a small grimace instead.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, the mind is a powerful thing,” Reggie offered. “The most important thing is believing it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure I have that much faith in myself,” Julie admitted softly. “My luck hasn’t been that great lately.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, in the last week you met four awesome guys, got a sweet new bedroom and joined the most awesome band in the history of the world. That seems pretty lucky to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but muster up a genuine smile at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”</p><p> </p><p>“I usually am,” Reggie teased, reaching over and grabbing her teddy bear before depositing it next to her.</p><p> </p><p>When he spoke again he directed his comments at the bear, wagging a finger at the stuffed animal.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, you’re in charge of watching out for Julie,” He said sternly. “There’s no one else here I would trust to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Luke’s voice sounded from below and Julie let out a quiet giggle.</p><p> </p><p>She had to admit their antics were serving as an effective distraction from her anxiety around sleeping. </p><p> </p><p>“Feeling better?” Reggie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Reggie. Goodnight.” </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>He moved across the loft and climbed down the ladder. She half listened as he and Luke said goodby though she was already feeling sleep tugging her away from the garage. </p><p> </p><p>She was just awake enough to notice the light being turned off and figured Luke had gone to bed too. She was moments away from drifting off completely when Luke’s voice sounded softly from below.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“I am here. If you need me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” </p><p> </p><p>There was another moment of silence before she spoke again. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smirked tiredly as her eyes finally closed once and for all. </p><p> </p><p>“I was talking to the bear.”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course you were.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out blindly and tugged the teddy bear version of Luke into her arms figuring she had earned the right to some childish comfort at this point. And if she let herself pretend it was the decidedly more human version of him, well, nobody needed to know that. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Does Reggie really make house calls to tuck people in? Asking for a friend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Shine together, bright forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is so long and it really should have been two chapters and then it would have been ready to post before 1am. But I wanted to get to where this chapter ends up so I just kept going. I think you guys will be glad I did. </p><p>It should surprise nobody given the title of this story but Taylor Swift is my everything and she just dropped a new album. And on top of just being amazing it has a song which mentions fate and shouting in your sleep and alleys and FALLING DOWN RABBIT HOLES. Ok, Taylor giving me two songs perfect for this story. I see you. I reserve the right to incorporate them later lol. </p><p>Ok, enough talking. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke was frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>They had spent the entire weekend working on Bright, adding a piano intro and dividing the vocal lines to feature both their voices. Julie had some amazing ideas and Luke was completely blown away by the way she described her vision of the song like she had already heard them perform it. He was used to being the only one who could picture things so clearly, who felt the music flowing through him before he ever picked up his guitar. She fit right in with the band too, anticipating their next move before they made it and knowing exactly when to take a moment to joke around and when to get down to business.</p><p> </p><p>The problem was it was now Sunday night and things still weren’t working.</p><p> </p><p>Despite his best efforts to draw her out of her shell, Julie seemed determined to remain in the background, anchored behind the keyboard. She refused to move around at all and when she sang he could tell she was doing it at half power. Maybe even less than that. He had only heard her sing briefly on the pier but he just knew there was an absolutely unstoppable voice in there just waiting to burst out. Except she was far from bursting right now. She was doing the bare minimum to keep the song going but nothing to make it stand out, or rather nothing to make <em> herself </em>stand out. And if this song was going to be as amazing as he knew it could be and set them on their path to superstardom, Julie was going to have to stand out. He somehow just knew their voices would sound amazing together if they could just get on the same page.</p><p> </p><p>And the thing was he couldn’t figure out <em> why </em>she was holding back. </p><p> </p><p>He might have put it down to shyness, which would make sense. After all, she was a little bit younger than them and they had been a band for a long time. It wouldn’t be that surprising for her to be unsure of herself or to not want to have too much attention on her right away. But he knew that wasn’t it. He could tell she was dying to belt out the words, to leave her keyboard behind and stand front and center, to truly let the music take over and just give it her everything. He couldn’t explain it other than that he saw in her the same passion he felt in himself. That cheesy connection speech he was always making the guys sit through, he had a feeling Julie would know exactly what he meant. In fact he was pretty sure he had caught her starting to let go and then reminding herself to hold back. And no amount of cajoling from him or encouragement from the rest of the guys seemed to be enough to get her to let loose.</p><p> </p><p>He kept trying though.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, you’ve really got to go all out on this chorus,” He said as he called for the band to stop for what felt like the hundredth time. “Shine together, bright forever. We have to shine! It’s right there in the song.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m doing my best.”</p><p> </p><p>“See, I don’t think you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” Alex hissed. “We’re playing nice now, remember?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not cool, dude,” Reggie added.</p><p> </p><p>Luke held up his hands in surrender before turning back to Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just saying we all know you have a diva worthy voice in there just waiting to be unleashed. So just channel your friend Mariah for me ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not asking for much, are you?” Bobby observed dryly.</p><p> </p><p>For her part Julie just sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll try to punch it up a little bit, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging manner that didn’t betray too much of his frustration. He knew they had been practicing like crazy the past two days and that he was asking a lot of someone who had only been in the band that same length of time. But he took his music seriously and it almost physically pained him to see someone capable of so much more selling themselves short.</p><p> </p><p>They ran through the song twice more with results that weren’t much better. The second time Luke caught her eye halfway through and jerked his head inviting her to join him at his mic. Instead she only turned her head sharply and met Alex’s eyes instead, never leaving her spot at the keyboard. </p><p> </p><p>Luke brought the rehearsal to a halt again after that run through and sighed heavily. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should take a break,” Reggie suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to get this,” Luke protested. “Julie I can’t play so we’re already going to look more static and boring. You have to step out and own it..”</p><p> </p><p>Julie huffed out an annoyed breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to join the band. I have to perform front and center. Anything else? Should I learn to juggle?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ooh, that would be awesome!” Reggie said enthusiastically before everyone shot him a look that had him falling silent.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok...I’m sensing some grumpiness so we’re going to take a break,” Alex insisted, standing up from behind his drums.</p><p> </p><p>“But..” </p><p> </p><p>Luke started to argue but trailed off as he saw the look on all of his bandmates faces. He was definitely outnumbered and it didn’t seem like he was getting through to Julie anyway. Maybe it was time to reset for a minute. He really didn’t want to end up in another full blown fight with her even though it seemed more and more like that might be inevitable. It was weird. They had only known each other for a little more than a week and he already spent every moment veering back and forth between feeling like he totally got her and like he didn’t understand her at all.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that was down to the secrets he was pretty sure she was keeping.</p><p> </p><p>Or maybe he just didn’t understand girls. That was also very possible. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine, yeah, let’s take a break,” Luke gave in, scuffing his sneaker on the floor just to give him something to focus on while he tried to get himself under control.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on man, let’s take a walk,” Alex had appeared at his shoulder and gave Luke a look that said the offer wasn’t really optional.</p><p> </p><p>Alex was like that. He liked to hang back and make his sarcastic comments to get his point of view across but when he finally decided to step into a situation it was usually best to just go along with what he said. He had saved Luke from making a total ass of himself many times though even Alex didn’t have a 100% success rate when it came to that unfortunately.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, ok,” He shrugged and glanced behind him to see what everyone else was doing.</p><p> </p><p>Julie was on the couch next to Reggie while Bobby was offering to go and get everybody some water. Julie didn’t look particularly happy but he figured if anyone could cheer her up by the time he got back it was Reggie. From finding her on a bench and bringing her home to getting her a teddy bear and tucking her in, he had already basically assumed a big brother role to the younger girl. Reggie was like that. He had such a big heart he could always find room for someone else to love. Luke sometimes worried he would meet someone who would take advantage of that fact but he didn’t for one second think Julie was that person.</p><p> </p><p>Forcing himself to turn away, Luke followed Alex out of the garage and together they ambled aimlessly down to the street. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes before Alex decided to break it.</p><p> </p><p>“So...you’re being a little tough on Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t phrase it like a question and seemed prepared to wait for Luke to process his statement and come up with an answer. Luke took his time, turning his response over in his mind and trying to find a way to phrase it that didn’t make himself sound crazy or like a jerk. </p><p> </p><p>“I know, man, it’s just...she’s holding back for some reason and I can tell she doesn’t want to. She could be so amazing if she would just go for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“And this is so important to you because…” Alex paused and when Luke didn’t immediately answer he went on. “Because you don’t want us to miss out on our shot again? You can’t put that on Julie, dude. That’s not fair.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know. That’s not it. No, really it’s not! I mean of course I want us to kill it and get a manager and blow up. But it’s more than that. You heard her sing the other day. She’s a star! I can tell she wants to let that out.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you’re not just seeing what you want to see?” Alex pressed. “I mean yeah, she’s insanely talented but that doesn’t mean she wants the same things you do.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t explain it ok, but I know she does. There’s some other reason she’s holding back. And that’s not the only weird thing about her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh huh,” Alex looked skeptical. “Don’t tell me you have some conspiracy theory about that nice girl, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just...questions,” Luke insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh here we go,” Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, the night we met she almost tackled me trying to keep me from eating that hotdog. Then Rose said those street dogs <em> killed </em>someone that night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you told us,” Alex said carefully. “It’s crazy but what’s your point?”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t think it’s weird that this girl who is supposedly a huge fan but we’ve never seen before just happens to show up on the night the street dogs are tainted and stops us from eating them?”</p><p> </p><p>“Weird, yeah, sure. But what are you saying?” Alex frowned. “That she’s psychic or something?”</p><p> </p><p>The problem was Luke didn’t really have an answer for that. All he knew was the supposed coincidences surrounding Julie just kept stacking up. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. But it’s weird right? And then she showed up on that bench near Reggie’s house. And she had never heard Breakfast at Tiffany’s before…”</p><p> </p><p>“What compelling evidence,” Alex rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“And she said she wasn’t musical but she can sing, like <em> really </em>sing and play piano. And has she told you anything about how she ended up on the streets or her family or anything? Cause she hasn’t told me anything except that her mom died and no one is looking for her.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex stopped walking and turned to face Luke with a serious expression.</p><p> </p><p>“No offense, dude, but listen to yourself. That’s <em> a lot </em>to tell someone you’ve only known for a week. Have you told her your whole life story?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke felt a little stupid when his friend put it like that.</p><p> </p><p>“No, not exactly,” He admitted. “But what about the hotdog thing?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a coincidence maybe not. But you say you’ve got questions. Seems to me like you could save everyone a lot of trouble by just asking them. And not to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, maybe,” Luke grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“But promise me you’ll tread carefully ok? Whatever she’s been through it’s probably not been easy.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded seriously. </p><p> </p><p>Alex gave him another examining look, this one a lot more lighthearted.</p><p> </p><p>“And maybe while you’re at it you could admit that some of your obsession with Julie isn’t about her possible advanced notice of killer hotdogs.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke practically choked on his own spit at that, half coughing and half clearing his throat while Alex just smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“It means we all see the way you look at her,” Alex reached out to shove gently at Luke’s shoulder. “She drives you crazy but you like her.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke tried to play it off but he was pretty sure he was blushing.</p><p> </p><p>“I barely know her.”</p><p> </p><p>“And yet you can’t stop talking about her.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not...no.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” Alex smirked. “We all like Julie. And hey, maybe we’ll get another song out of it.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked away, not wanting to meet Alex’s examining gaze while they had this conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“This is nothing like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Alex said, prompting Luke to look back at him. “Back then you were convincing yourself you liked a girl you didn’t and this time you’re convincing yourself that you don’t like a girl you do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok, very funny, you’re a very clever genius, I get it. Can we go back now?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex raised an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Can you behave now?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke took a deep breath and rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex slung his arm around Luke’s shoulders and turned him around, poking at his side with his other hand until Luke finally cracked a smile and shrugged him off.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to admit that his friend might have a point. He didn’t want to think about anything but their second chance to make their dream come true. But if he was being totally honest that was a bit of a losing battle already and it had only been a week since this deeply weird, extremely confusing...super pretty, crazy talented, infuriating, sweet...ok, he was in trouble. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t let himself go there though. He just couldn’t. He only had room for one love in his life and he had chosen music a long time ago. But he could always use more friends so that’s where he would leave it.</p><p> </p><p>They were almost back to Bobby’s when Luke suddenly stopped short. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?” Alex asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I just remembered tomorrow is Julie’s birthday.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex gave him a surprised look before shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>“So she hasn’t told you anything about herself <em> except </em>her mom died and no one is looking for her and that she plays piano and when her birthday is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, she told me a couple of things” Luke admitted. “Whatever. The point is shouldn’t we do something for her? To celebrate?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex grinned and reached out to pat Luke on the arm.</p><p> </p><p>“You just concentrate on not giving her an aneurism in the next 24 hours and I’ll take care of the rest, deal?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m offended by that,” Luke huffed.</p><p> </p><p>“And?” Alex smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“And I agree to your terms,” Luke sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Good, now let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke followed Alex back to the garage contemplating what it would be like to have friends that were a little less annoyingly right all the time. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Julie woke up on the morning of her 16th (more or less) birthday in a strange mood. Or rather it was a mood that was perfectly normal given the strange state her life was in right now. She hadn’t had nightmares the last couple of nights since Reggie’s pep talk which she was grateful for, but the anxiety she felt when she was awake was still firmly present. It was easy enough to forget or at least ignore when she was letting the waves of the boys’ banter wash over her but every quiet moment was another opportunity for the fears and uncertainty to rise again. It was as routine as the tide coming in twice a day, the overwhelming thoughts would rush back in. </p><p> </p><p>How much time had passed back home? She wanted to believe no time had passed at all in 2020 and that her family was blissfully unaware that she was trapped so far away from them in time if not in distance. She couldn’t be sure of that though. If time was passing at the same rate or worse faster, her dad would be frantic. Carlos and Flynn too. But there was nothing she could do about that.</p><p> </p><p>What she was afraid she had a lot more control over was what would end up happening in 1995. </p><p> </p><p>When she had agreed to temporarily join Sunset Curve she had planned to be as unobtrusive as possible, round out the sound without making herself front and center. That way she could help them get noticed but not be so memorable that if they had a 30 year career many people would remember the girl who played a show or two with them. </p><p> </p><p>The problem was Luke had decidedly different ideas about what her role should be. He kept trying to convince her to sing louder, to leave the safety of her keyboard and join him at his mic, kept looking at her like he knew exactly how much she wanted to do just that. How much she wanted them to be <em> them </em>. </p><p> </p><p>And she did. Obviously. More than anything. Well, <em> almost </em> anything. And that was the issue. Because one of the only things she wanted more than to join her band again for real, and feel that adrenaline rush that only came with letting go on stage, and connecting and being <em> Julie and Luke </em>...was to make sure they were ok when she left. </p><p> </p><p>And she would have to leave eventually. She just had to. </p><p> </p><p>So here she was trying to walk the line and be with them and also separate from them. And she was smart enough to know it wasn’t working but not so smart that she knew what the answer was. </p><p> </p><p>Doing her best to clear her mind, Julie forced herself to get up and get dressed. By the time she made it down to the main level Luke was gone. He had left a note saying he had something to take care of and wouldn’t be home until that evening. </p><p> </p><p>Julie tried not to be disappointed that she was apparently going to be spending her birthday alone. It’s not like it really mattered. The rest of the guys had school and didn’t even know it was her birthday. But Luke did. Or at least she had let it slip in front of him. She had no reason to think he would have remembered that or that he would do anything about it if he did. They were friends now but very new friends. It wasn’t fair to expect anything.</p><p> </p><p>A simple happy birthday would have been nice though. </p><p> </p><p>Julie hung around the garage for a few hours. After eating the cold pop tarts Bobby had left for them she  straightened up and made a list of things she needed which she planned to give to Bobby later. She was also hoping he could do some laundry for her because she was running dangerously low on clothes. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually though she got too bored and a little too sad to want to stare at the garage walls alone. So she left the house and headed for the beach. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she got there it was afternoon and even though it was a weekday there were plenty of people around. Groups of friends and families hanging out on the beach, all too wrapped up in their own fun to notice one lonely teenage girl who plopped down and tugged off her shoes so she could wiggle her toes in the warm sand. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, alternating between staring out at the ocean and people watching.</p><p> </p><p>She had the oddest feeling that she could truly disappear, lost in time, and no one would ever know she had existed at all. She knew that wasn’t true. She knew she had people who cared about her in both decades, knew that she wasn’t alone, not really, no matter what. </p><p> </p><p>But it wasn’t easy to be the only one to know something this big. It left her feeling set apart and like the responsibility of creating a happy ending was all on her.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually the sun started to set and Julie set off to head back to her house which was currently Bobby’s house. That was still weird and left her with a lot of questions but they were so far down the list of weird, question inducing facts she didn’t feel particularly compelled to think about it too hard.</p><p> </p><p>When she reached the garage and tried to open the door it didn’t budge, regardless of how hard she tugged. She had a single moment of fear that they had changed her mind, that they had decided to lock her out and be rid of the strange girl who had literally tumbled into their lives. </p><p> </p><p>But then she heard excited whispers on the other side of the door and someone shouted that they were coming and she should close her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Julie was confused but she wanted to get inside so she begrudgingly complied, letting her eyes slide closed as she heard the doors opening.</p><p> </p><p>Another couple of seconds passed before Reggie’s voice sounded.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, open them!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie opened her eyes and the sight that greeted her was so overwhelming she almost cried very different tears than the ones that had threatened to escape earlier.</p><p> </p><p>All four boys were gathered in the middle of the garage and they were all wearing pointy party hats. Reggie and Alex looked a lot more excited about that fact than Bobby and Luke did but they were all wearing them. Alex was standing in the center holding a large cupcake with a burning candle stuck in the middle of it. </p><p> </p><p>“Surprise!” They all called out not quite in unison.</p><p> </p><p>“I...what’s this? How did you even know it’s my birthday?” Julie asked, stepping into the garage and fighting against the tears that still wanted to make their way down her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke told us,” Reggie said, practically bouncing with excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“A little last minute but he told us,” Bobby said. “We pulled it together pretty well considering.”</p><p> </p><p>“The point is we’ve got burgers if you’re hungry…” Luke started.</p><p> </p><p>“And salad!” Reggie chimed in happily. “That was my idea.” </p><p> </p><p>“And obviously we’ve got a cupcake for you. Sorry it’s not a cake but none of us can bake,” Alex said holding the cupcake out closer to her face. “Make a wish.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, wait!” Reggie ran over to the coffee table and grabbed a plastic tiara, running back over and depositing it crookedly on Julie’s head. “Perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we hurry up so we can take these hats off?” Bobby asked but he was smiling as he said it.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on, Julie,” Luke said softly as their eyes met briefly. “Make a wish.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie closed her eyes and thought about what she should wish for. </p><p> </p><p>To go home.</p><p> </p><p>To be able to help the boys’ lives turn out like they wanted them to.</p><p> </p><p>But if she was being honest and if she was being selfish, as you’re only allowed to be on your birthday in the privacy of your own mind, she knew what she wanted to wish for. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted to keep them. </p><p> </p><p>She knew what Willie had said was true. Best case scenario they could only save them, not keep them.</p><p> </p><p>But god damn it, this was her wish. </p><p> </p><p>Julie opened her eyes and took in the four smiling boys before her and then blew out the candle. </p><p> </p><p>After that they stuffed themselves on burgers and salad, well mostly she ate the salad but she had been able to bully Reggie into a couple of bites. Then the boys rather bashfully admitted they had gifts for her. They warned her not to expect too much but they shouldn’t have. Everything they gave her was so heartfelt and perfect and <em> them </em>, she could hardly stand it. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby had given her a stack of handwritten coupons good for nutritious meals she could join his family for inside his house. He assured her that his parents were actually remarkably laid back for a pair of therapists and they would not read anything into him inviting a new friend over for dinner anytime.</p><p> </p><p>Alex’s gift was a little purple fanny pack similar to the one he constantly wore, the glittery plastic bag so cute and so Alex it made her giggle. </p><p> </p><p>Luke gave her a composition book where she could write lyrics and though it was a simple gift she knew there was so much behind it. He was saying she was a songwriter, that he saw her talent, that he saw <em> her </em>. And she loved it.</p><p> </p><p>But it was Reggie who outdid himself the most.</p><p> </p><p>He excitedly reached into a bag and pulled out a scrap of fabric that at first didn’t register with Julie as anything in particular. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Reggie. What is it exactly?” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie grinned and shook it out triumphantly until she could see it more clearly. It was a tiny shirt with cutoff sleeves.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard you named your teddy bear Luke so I figured he should look the part!”</p><p> </p><p>Alex and Bobby were practically rolling on the ground with laughter at this point and Julie was on the brink of joining them.</p><p> </p><p>Luke was less amused.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that...did you cut up one of my shirts to make that?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted it to be authentic.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to kill you!” Luke shouted leaping up to chase Reggie around the garage.</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave in and laughed harder and longer than she had for a long time.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Luke got tired of chasing Reggie around and a little while after that the rest of the guys headed home, each offering Julie a hug on the way out. By this time Julie had retrieved teddy bear Luke and put him in his new shirt. Reggie had done a good job and it was probably the most adorable thing she had ever seen, and she had seen Luke’s baby photo.</p><p> </p><p>Julie sank down onto the couch next to Luke, clutching her bear and ignoring the way he grumbled when he saw it.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t act all tough, Mr. Rockstar. I know I have you to thank for tonight.” She nudged him gently.</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head and rolled his eyes but she knew his expressions well enough to know he was secretly pleased.</p><p> </p><p>“It was all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but you told them it was my birthday,” She insisted. “So thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded. </p><p> </p><p>They fell into a silence not entirely uncomfortable for once.</p><p> </p><p>“You know your cast is really boring,” Julie observed.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with blue?” Luke asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, but shouldn’t you decorate it or something? That’s what people do,” Julie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, is that what people do?” He smirked like he suddenly found her extremely amusing.</p><p> </p><p>“Pretty much,” She confirmed.</p><p> </p><p>He stood from the couch without warning and crossed the garage, rummaging through a box in the corner before he stood up and held out something triumphantly. </p><p> </p><p>A black marker. </p><p> </p><p>He returned to his original position on the couch and surprised Julie by holding the marker out to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Here.”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes widened slightly at his offer.</p><p> </p><p>“You want me to draw something on it? What do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“You pick.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie thought for a moment before reaching out and carefully pulling his cast laden arm onto her lap. She bent over and concentrated, determined to do a good job since he would be stuck with it for several more weeks. </p><p> </p><p>She drew the lines carefully and when she was satisfied she sat up and admired the result.</p><p> </p><p>“A cupcake?” Luke asked, his tone amused. “For your birthday?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled softly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s for both of us. It’s a memory.”</p><p> </p><p>She wished she could explain all of the multiple ways that was true. But he seemed pretty happy with it anyway, tracing the outline gently with one finger before looking back up to give her one of those signature Luke smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Happy Birthday, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>And against all odds...it had been. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The cupcake throwback though! 🥺</p><p>Also, the mini cutoff for teddy Luke was 100% commenter saltedcheesetea’s idea. Shoutout to them for agreeing to let me steal it lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Ghosts of the past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not too much to say this time, just excited to see what you guys think about the new character who is introduced. </p><p>In some ways I’m really not going for subtlety here lol. </p><p>Ok, enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie was sitting on the couch next to Alex holding the teddy bear version of Luke while they waited for Luke and Reggie to get back from calling Rose. Bobby was inside the house gathering up a supply of snacks and sodas.</p><p> </p><p>They couldn’t make the phone call in Bobby’s house because his parents were home and they couldn’t know Luke was there. Bobby’s suggestion that someone other than Luke could just make the phone call had earned him a glare of an intensity Julie hadn’t seen before so that had been the last time anyone brought that up. Instead Luke and Reggie had set out to find a pay phone which was frankly a completely foreign concept to Julie. It was so inconvenient living in a time when everyone didn’t have a phone in their pocket. The guys had no idea how great their lives would be when technology progressed to the point where people carried around personal phones and then chose not to talk on them resorting to passing tiny, digital notes instead. </p><p> </p><p>Her phone was upstairs stashed under her mattress. It had run out of charge days ago and even before that it had been useless but she still felt oddly naked walking around without it.</p><p> </p><p>For instance, sitting here waiting for the boys to get back is exactly the type of moment when she would normally be scrolling through Instagram or texting Flynn. Instead she just toyed with the teddy bear in her lap absentmindedly and tried not to lose her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve really been bonding with that little guy, huh?” Alex interrupted her thoughts, meeting her eyes with an amused look when she raised her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he is pretty adorable,” Julie replied.</p><p> </p><p>Alex scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess, if that’s what you’re into.” Alex joked dryly. “Now if it was a mini-version of Alex I could see the appeal.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be jealous,” She teased. “I have the real thing when it comes to Alexs anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex grinned. </p><p> </p><p>“True. Lucky you.”</p><p> </p><p>What Julie didn’t say was that she had loved the bear before but now that it had a little shirt that just so happened to smell like Luke...well, she really loved it now. She might literally die of embarrassment if anyone ever found out she had sniffed it before she fell asleep the night before but it was true.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby chose that moment to return, arms full of bags of chips and cans of soda, struggling to make it to the coffee table before he dropped everything on its surface. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow,” Julie said, taking in the spread. “Think you brought enough?”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby eyed his haul consideringly for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I think there are some pringles in there. Maybe I should grab those too…”</p><p> </p><p>“I was being sarcastic,” Julie emphasized.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and nobody likes pringles,” Alex pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby gestured at himself looking slightly offended.</p><p> </p><p>“I like pringles.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex raised one eyebrow and looked over at Julie conspiratorially.</p><p> </p><p>“I rest my case.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Bobby could respond Luke and Reggie came bursting in, Reggie practically vibrating with excitement while Luke looked strangely dazed. </p><p> </p><p>Luke dropped into one of the chairs while Reggie squeezed himself onto the couch between Alex and  Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok...not like I was sitting here...no please, make yourself comfortable.” Alex grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks!” Reggie responded brightly, seemingly oblivious to his friend’s sarcasm.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby sat in the open chair and glanced back and forth between the two who had gone on the mission to make the phone call.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok is someone going to tell us what happened? What did Rose say?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie sat up a little straighter, bouncing in his seat and jostling Alex who frowned and shoved him back towards the center of the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re playing tomorrow night!” </p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow?” Julie echoed anxiously. “That’s not a lot of time.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, Rose said they had an opening and her friend managed to fit coming by into her schedule and long story short, tomorrow’s the night!” Reggie explained excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, but that doesn’t explain why Luke looks like he took too much cold medicine,” Alex observed.</p><p> </p><p>Luke finally spoke up, his voice disbelieving.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Queenie Hart.”</p><p> </p><p>Several of them spoke at the same time after that.</p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Julie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Rose’s friend is Queenie Hart?” Bobby exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...what do you mean who? You don’t know who Queenie Hart is?” Alex directed that one at Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Uhhh...no?” Julie cringed even as she admitted that. She could just feel another one of those moments that brought her dangerously close to giving herself away coming on. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok, Julie not everyone does,” Bobby said.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Bobby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, my grandma and her friends don’t but they’re 80, so.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I take back my thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, can we focus?” Alex broke in. “She really said it’s Queenie Hart?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded, still looking stunned.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a pop star,” Reggie filled in helpfully.</p><p> </p><p>“And her dad owns Red Rose Records,” Bobby added.</p><p> </p><p>“So she’s a big deal then,” Julie observed.</p><p> </p><p>“A huge deal,” Alex agreed. “No pressure.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke seemed to finally shake himself out of it, his eyes clearing and his posture improving.</p><p> </p><p>“This is it boys,” He glanced over at the girl on the couch apologetically. “And Julie. Tomorrow night everything changes.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex cringed slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve heard that before. Don’t jinx us please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, nothing is going to go wrong this time. And we’ve got our secret weapon,” He smiled over at Julie as he said the last part.</p><p> </p><p>So she was supposed to be the secret weapon that helped them impress a real life pop star while simultaneously drawing no attention to herself at the risk of messing up their future yet again. No pressure was seeming more and more like a blatant lie.</p><p> </p><p>“So are we doing one song or what?” Bobby asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Two,” Luke answered. “Rose suggested we do something high energy and something more laid back or ballad like to show Queenie our range. So I figured we stick with Bright and add In Your Starlight.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not a lot of time for me to learn a new song,” Julie pointed out nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you can do it,” Reggie reassured her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we do that one all the time so you won’t have to do much,” Luke added. “We’ll just add some basic piano and you can take some oohs on the chorus or something. Easy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” Julie agreed, figuring she didn’t have much choice. Besides a song she had minimal parts in wasn't a bad thing given the circumstances. “Well, we had better get rehearsing, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>And they did. </p><p> </p><p>They ran through the two songs countless times and If Luke was still frustrated with her determination to stay in the background of their performance he didn’t say anything. Maybe Alex had gotten through to him during their walk the other day or maybe he had just gotten tired of arguing and given up. She had a hard time believing that possibility given her knowledge of Luke but she supposed it wasn’t impossible. It was for the best either way though. She would do what she needed to do to make sure they impressed this Queenie what’s her name but nothing more. Sunset Curve could do this without her once Luke’s arm healed, she had no doubt about that. She just needed to help push them through until then.</p><p> </p><p>Julie spent all of the next day going back and forth between excitement and nerves. If she was being totally honest she couldn’t wait to get back on stage and the fact that she would be doing it with her boys was a huge bonus. But she also couldn’t pretend this was a normal Julie and the Phantoms performance where she knew her role and knew that if she just let herself tune into the music and connect with her bandmates everything would come out well. She was used to overthinking before a performance and then being able to blissfully switch over to just feeling once it actually started. The knowledge that she would need to stay painfully self aware the entire time wasn’t exactly making her feel her usual confidence. It was more like the way she had felt before she performed Bright for the first time, thinking she would remain alone up on that stage in front of her whole school. She figured there was some irony there, maybe Bright was always going to be a song performed under nerve wracking circumstances.</p><p> </p><p>She could only hope this performance turned out as well as that one had.</p><p> </p><p>She wished she knew Flynn was going to be in the audience cheering her on though she supposed...her mom would be there. Her mom had heard her sing before of course, though not this version of her. But neither version had ever seen Julie perform with her band and despite all of the complicated circumstances she was still glad she would have the chance.</p><p> </p><p>While the rest of the boys were at school, Luke spent most of the day either singing the same 2 or 3 lines of Bright over and over trying to perfect them or aimlessly pacing around the garage. Eventually Julie had asked if he wanted to take another look at the song she had added to in his notebook just to make him sit still for a few minutes. Luckily that seemed to do the trick and they spent a couple of hours punching up the lyrics and playing around with harmony ideas. The song was really coming together nicely and Julie felt a rush of sadness at the fact that they would probably never really get to perform it together. Still, she had to keep her eyes on the prize. One show, guarantee Sunset Curve got noticed, then find her way home.</p><p> </p><p>Her other concern regarding their performance that night was a little less important in the scheme of things but still nagging at the back of her mind. </p><p> </p><p>What was she going to wear? </p><p> </p><p>Ok, she was still a teenage girl and she didn’t particularly want to perform in Alex’s sister’s hand me downs. She was used to having the burst of confidence that came with wearing her mom’s old clothes. That was of course out the question currently since they weren’t actually old yet and her mom was presumably still wearing them.</p><p> </p><p>Luke watched her consider her limited options for a solid ten minutes before he got up and dug through a pile of stuff in the corner before returning and dropping something in her lap.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s this?” Julie asked, unfolding the white fabric slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Something to wear tonight,” He shrugged but his expression looked proud.</p><p> </p><p>Julie finished unfolding it to reveal a Sunset Curve shirt. </p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t it kind of frowned upon to wear a shirt for your own band?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned and reached out to snatch the shirt back.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you don’t want it…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie clutched it tightly to her chest so that he couldn’t grab it.</p><p> </p><p>“I want it.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s expression lightened again.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p> </p><p>They looked at each other for a fraction of a second tok long before Luke gave himself a little shake and wandered off looking extremely satisfied with himself.</p><p> </p><p>Julie examined the shirt she held for a moment, thinking back to when Flynn had found one in her mom’s trunk. It looked exactly the same except her mom had clearly added rhinestones to give it a little something extra. Julie wished she had access to some rhinestones of her own but she doubted very strongly the guys had any lying around. There had to be something she could use though. </p><p> </p><p>Julie remembered Luke pulling out the marker before and got up to dig through that box. When she found several more markers in various colors she pulled them out triumphantly. She sat down on the floor cross legged and spread the shirt out, examining it thoughtfully before uncapping a purple marker and starting to draw. She could feel Luke watching her but she did her best to focus on what she was working on. She added stars and swirls of various colors, sitting back when she was satisfied with what she’d managed to create.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you should be in charge of our merch too,” Luke’s voice interrupted her thoughts from behind her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Julie grinned and held up her finished product.</p><p> </p><p>“Probably.”</p><p> </p><p>By the time the rest of the guys made it back after school there was just enough time for them to eat a quick meal (they weren’t risking eating anywhere else this time) and pack up the van. They were going on at 7 and they had to get all the way across the city and get set up. Luke couldn’t actually help much with a broken arm but he was still running around, bouncing on his heels as he made sure they had everything they needed. He wasn’t being as helpful as he probably thought he was but the rest of the guys seemed prepared to ignore his antics and only exchange annoyed looks amongst themselves. Julie tried hard not to let on just how charming she found his chaotic enthusiasm. </p><p> </p><p>Now that Julie was along for the ride, two people had to sit in the back of the van with the instruments. The guys started playing rock, paper, scissors for that dubious honor. Julie had offered to participate but in an apparent fit of chivalry they had refused to let her. In the end Reggie and Bobby ended up in the back, one of them predictably taking it with a lot more grace than the other. </p><p> </p><p>“This game is rigged!” Bobby groaned. “You guys make sure I’m always in the back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you’re just bad at the game,” Alex observed smugly.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, it will be fun,” Reggie insisted happily, throwing an arm around his grumpy friend’s shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“Will it, Reg? Will it?” Bobby responded flatly.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on guys, we need to hit the road!” Luke insisted, still practically vibrating in place.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, but I’m driving you one armed menace,” Alex insisted, snatching the keys from a pouting Luke’s hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine, let’s just go,” Luke admitted defeat and gestured toward the van. </p><p> </p><p>They all climbed in, Julie ending up in the middle of the front seat between Alex and Luke. </p><p> </p><p>“Take us to our destiny, Beatrice,” Luke said, patting the dash of the van affectionately.</p><p> </p><p>“I still didn’t agree to that name,” Bobby’s voice floated up from the back though his face was obscured by Alex’s drums.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head. Even on possibly the biggest night of their lives so far these boys couldn’t help but be themselves. There was something oddly comforting about that given all of the pressure she was currently putting on herself not to change things for them too much. Maybe regardless of what she did they really would always fall back into who they were always meant to be. </p><p> </p><p>She still didn’t plan to take any unnecessary chances.</p><p> </p><p>When they arrived at the coffee shop the boys immediately started unloading. Julie tried to help but was once again turned away. </p><p> </p><p>She placed both hands on her hips and stared them down.</p><p> </p><p>“You do know I can carry things right? I’m a girl not a weakling.”</p><p> </p><p>“We just have a system we’re used to,” Reggie assured her. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we need you to go find Rose and let her know we’re here anyway,” Alex offered.</p><p> </p><p>Julie pointed at Luke who was standing off to the side.</p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t he do that?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked offended by the suggestion that he wasn’t absolutely vital to the unloading process despite his broken arm.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m supervising,” He said as though it should be obvious. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s supervising the destruction of my last nerve,” Bobby grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok, I’ll go find Rose,” Julie gave in, turning and making her way into the coffee shop. </p><p> </p><p>Julie walked in and took a look around. It was a pretty standard coffee shop on the side where she was standing, a counter and several tables scattered around where people sipped from white mugs. She could see the other side though held a stage and quite a few people were already mingling around clearly anticipating upcoming live music. It reminded her a lot of the venue where they had performed Finally Free and gained the attention of a manager before her dad had showed up and shut the night down. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad omen for tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie froze at the sound of her mom calling her name. It was such a small thing but she had missed hearing it so much. </p><p> </p><p>She turned and Rose was waving her over to the counter.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a deep breath to pull herself together, Julie walked over to the counter and did her best to offer up a totally normal, not at all emotionally charged smile. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys made it, no hotdog mishaps. That’s great.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t even joke about that,” She shuddered.</p><p> </p><p>Rose laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“My bad, so are the guys unloading?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“They sent me to let you know we were here. I think they believe a girl will burst into flames if she has to lift something.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Boys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right?” Julie chuckled, enjoying just getting to have a brief moment to talk to her mom.</p><p> </p><p>“Did someone mention boys?” A voice interrupted from behind Julie. “Sounds like a conversation I should be involved in.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose sighed heavily.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s here,” She muttered.</p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to see who had earned such a less than enthusiastic response from Rose. She was greeted with the sight of a girl who was probably around the same age as Rose, maybe 19. She had long, light brown hair, delicate features and a bright red matching tracksuit. She was extremely pretty but something about her smile felt fake to Julie immediately. There was something vaguely familiar about her but Julie couldn’t put her finger on it.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, this is Queenie Hart. Queenie, Julie is in the band I was telling you about,” Rose introduced.</p><p> </p><p>“Temporarily,” Julie said quickly. “I’m just filling in for a bit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m looking forward to hearing your little band,” Queenie said overly sweetly. “I was so excited when Rose called. She knows I’d do anything for her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Rose said flatly. “I appreciate it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” Queenie said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Daddy and I get so many requests to come check out new bands but of course we have to be very choosy.”</p><p> </p><p>She turned her attention to Julie and shot her a doubtful look.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope your little band is worth me making an exception.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie was too stunned to respond for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“They are,” Rose said, earning her a shallow smile from Queenie.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll see.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that Queenie turned sharply and made her way over to the other side of the venue, people excitedly whispering as she went. Julie even saw a couple of people ask for her autograph. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s your...friend?” Julie asked Rose carefully.</p><p> </p><p>Rose sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“She used to be,” She clarified. “We were best friends at one point. We were even in a band together. We had this whole royalty theme, she was The Queen and I was The Duchess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, so that’s not her real name?” Julie asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“No, that’s totally her real name,” Rose corrected. “Is it any wonder that she was born with delusions of grandeur? Mine was just a dumb stage name I’m glad to be rid of though.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what happened?” Julie asked.</p><p> </p><p>She was a little surprised that Rose was telling her all of this so openly but maybe she could sense that they were connected too. That might have been wishful thinking but Julie chose to take comfort in it anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Her dad runs a huge record label so she never needed our band in the first place. She said she wanted to do things the right way, on our own. Then she changed her mind and ditched me for a solo career on her dad’s label, right before a big gig.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow,” Julie shook her head. “That’s awful.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s old news now,” Rose waved her hand and smiled. “But let’s just say I really felt for the boys the other night when circumstances beyond their control screwed up their big gig. I figured if swallowing my pride and calling up the ghost of my past could help someone else, why not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, thank you,” Julie said sincerely. “The boys may not realize how hard that would be but I do. I had a friend kind of like that too.”</p><p> </p><p>At that moment Alex popped into the doorway hauling a huge case, clearly struggling a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>“Side door, kid. Side door!” Rose called out.</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed, and struggled to get a better grip on the case.</p><p> </p><p>“Side door, right.”</p><p> </p><p>He disappeared back outside. </p><p> </p><p>Rose grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, boys. What would they do without us?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled.</p><p> </p><p>“Die probably.”</p><p> </p><p>When it came to these boys and her...that wasn’t an exaggeration. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do we think about Queenie and how she will fit into the story?</p><p>Performance next chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Such stuff as dreams are made of</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. Did I try to cram too much in? Maaaaybe. I’ll let you guys be the judge of if it works or not. </p><p>And before anyone yells at me about the introduction of a certain new character, next chapter we will find out more and I don’t think any panicking is warranted ok? Ok. 😂</p><p>You get some lyrics I wrote in this one. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie and the guys were gathered off to the side of the stage, a nervous and excited energy emanating from each of them. Their instruments were all set up, their songs were chosen and rehearsed and the pop star they were meant to be impressing was present and accounted for. There wasn’t anything left to do except get up on the stage and do what they did best. Even with her concerns about what exactly she could contribute given the restrictions she was placing on herself, Julie couldn’t wait to be up on that stage with her boys. Even if she needed to hang back she would still get to see them do their thing up close and personal.</p><p> </p><p>Rose walked towards the stage and paused to give them a thumbs up and a questioning look. Luke used his good hand to return a thumbs up of his own before turning to his bandmates.</p><p> </p><p>“Band circle?” </p><p> </p><p>They turned to face each other and joined hands, Julie gripping Luke and Reggie’s and trying not to give away just how much of a rush she got every time she realized she could physically touch them now.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t how we thought we’d get our chance,” Luke said, looking around the circle. “But I wouldn’t change it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me either,” Reggie said, giving Julie’s hand a squeeze. </p><p> </p><p>“Or me,” Alex echoed..</p><p> </p><p>There was a pause during which Luke elbowed Bobby.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok,” He looked across their circle and offered her a begrudging but genuine smile. “We’re glad you’re with us, Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>She struggled not to tear up as she realized yet again just how special these boys were. Even for all their sarcasm and teasing and sometimes over passionate responses that led to arguments at their core they were almost impossibly sweet and loving. And she would be damned if she let their story end poorly again.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright everybody, our first act of the night is a local band that is about to blow up and you’ll be able to say you saw them here first. Give it up for Sunset Curve!” </p><p> </p><p>A scattering of applause broke out as Rose introduced them and the band exchanged one more round of excited and nervous looks before dropping each other’s hands.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s time,” Luke said.</p><p> </p><p>“Would you say it’s now or never?” Julie joked as they made their way onto the stage. </p><p> </p><p>That earned her a grin from the boy and she could only hope her efforts to relax him had worked. She took her place behind her keyboard and took a deep breath as she looked out to the crowd. If she were being honest most of the people in the room seemed more interested in watching Queenie who was standing in the center several feet back. Julie supposed that wasn’t really her fault since she was famous after all. The girl certainly seemed to be enjoying it though. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter.</p><p> </p><p>She had faith in her boys and their ability to win over any crowd.</p><p> </p><p>Luke stepped up to his mic, his cast and lack of guitar leaving him looking strangely unfamiliar even in a setting she had seen him own so many times. </p><p> </p><p>“We’re Sunset Curve,” He started only to be interrupted by Reggie.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell your friends!”</p><p> </p><p>“And this is Bright. We hope you like it.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked over at Julie and nodded for her to start the song. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I think I'm falling down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanna cry, I'm callin' out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For one more try to feel alive</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She sang it gently as she played the opening chords of the song, waiting for Luke to come in where they had agreed upon which was significantly sooner than he had back when they thought her classmates couldn’t see him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And when I feel lost and alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that I can make it home</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fight through the dark</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And find the spark</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Even with no guitar and down one arm, Luke’s stage presence was something else. She could see about half of the audience sitting up and taking notice as soon as he opened his mouth and leaned into the mic.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Life is a risk but I will take it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Close my eyes and jump</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Together I think that we can make it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on, let's run </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Luke took the lead on the pre-chorus with Julie backing him up with some solid but not in your face harmonies. They sounded good and she knew it but it was dawning on her now that they were doing it for real, what a pale comparison it was to how she had heard them do it before. Still...surely it was enough, right?</p><p> </p><p>They moved through the first chorus and the second verse and Julie got her answer. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t enough.</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes found Queenie in the crowd and they were losing her. She wasn’t looking at the stage at all. In fact she was looking at the watch on her wrist. Julie’s first thought was that it was strange to see a teenage girl wearing a watch. Her second thought was that she had to do something. </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t let herself think about it too hard, just grabbed the mic from the stand in front of her and joined Reggie and Luke on the pre-chorus, unleashing her voice to full power. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Life is a risk but we will take it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Close my eyes and jump</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Together I think that we can make it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on, let's run</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She saw the other guys exchanging excited looks but Julie focused on moving across the stage, her eyes locking with Luke’s as things between them clicked into place. It didn’t matter that Luke didn’t remember them doing it, this is what they were meant to do together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And rise through the night, you and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We will fight to shine together</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bright forever</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And rise through the night, you and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We will fight to shine together</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bright forever</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The buzz of the crowd grew louder as Luke grinned and stepped away from his mic, crowding in to share Julie’s instead. He was predictable but it worked and this felt so right. It wasn’t that they needed her to stand out, she had no doubt that with his guitar and two arms Luke could have led Sunset Curve to success without her. It wasn’t about that. But it was like she had said to him in that hallway...they made each other better.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The times that I doubted myself</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt like I needed some help</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stuck in my head, with nothing left</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And when I feel lost and alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that I can make it home</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fight through the dark and find the spark</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie had intended to keep an eye on Queenie’s reaction but as they moved into the final chorus she was too wrapped up in the music to pay any attention to anything beyond the stage. Bobby was facing Alex and strumming his guitar for all he was worth. Alex and Reggie were both adding their own harmonies, while Alex pounded out the rhythm and Reggie bounced in place. Luke meanwhile was grinning at her from barely an inch away and that was a lot. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And rise through the night, you and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We will fight to shine together (Shine together)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bright forever (Bright forever)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And rise through the night, you and I</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We will fight to shine together</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bright forever</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie hit the final high note and let the rush of performing again rush over for a moment with her eyes closed before opening them slowly. The crowd was going crazy, and more importantly Queenie was definitely not staring at her watch anymore. She was looking directly at the stage, a smile resting on her face. She was smiling! </p><p> </p><p>Julie glanced over at Luke to see if he was seeing what she was seeing only to realize he probably wasn’t. The reason for that being that he was staring directly at her, a mixture of excitement and awe written all over his face. It was really not playing fair for him to look at her like that when she was doing everything in her power not to let her feelings for him run anymore rampant than they already were.</p><p> </p><p>It felt good though. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“We have to do another song.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Right.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie wasn’t blushing. She was just feeling really warm under the lights. That was totally it.</p><p> </p><p>Luke stepped up to the mic to introduce their next song but suddenly froze before saying anything. He was staring down towards the crowd with a look of horror on his face, a huge contrast to the joyous look he’d had moments before.</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned and followed his gaze trying to figure out what he was looking at. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, just a girl who had pushed her way to the front of the crowd and stood with her arms crossed.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...we have one more song for you in just a...just give us a minute,” Luke stuttered into the mic before turning away from the crowd with a panicked look. By this time Alex had abandoned his drums and the entire band was crowded around Luke.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, keep it together,” Bobby insisted in a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. Just...we can’t do In Your Starlight,” Luke was bouncing nervously in a way Julie had never seen before.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” Julie demanded quietly. “That’s the song we rehearsed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know, but…”</p><p> </p><p>Luke was cut off by Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“But the girl it’s about just showed up.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced at Julie and cringed.</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t resist taking a quick look back at the girl in question. Tall, pale skin, curly dark hair. A plaid skirt and a long sleeve shirt. She was pretty. She also looked entirely unimpressed. That was as far as Julie let herself go with the examination. She couldn’t afford to let on that her stomach had dropped a bit as soon as she realized this was someone Luke had apparently liked enough to write a song about. After all it didn’t have to mean anything serious. She had a puppy love crush on Nick for years without it actually representing anything deeper in the end. And Luke wasn’t Julie’s to have regardless. </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head and brought herself back to the conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I know it’s awkward,” Alex hissed. “But we don’t have a lot of options. We promised Queenie a ballad.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded and took a shaky breath. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart clenched at the sight. She knew it wasn’t her job to rescue him again but every instinct in her body was screaming for her to try.</p><p> </p><p>She sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“This might be a terrible idea, but what about the song we’ve been working on?” Julie asked hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s eyes lit up.</p><p> </p><p>“That could work.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, we haven’t even heard it,” Bobby protested. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll give you the chords, just give us a basic rhythm and Julie and I can handle the rest. I know you guys can do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked so hopeful that the rest of them never really had a chance. </p><p> </p><p>“This is crazy,” Alex shook his head but he was smiling in amusement. “But let’s do it.”</p><p> </p><p>The crowd was well and truly impatient when a minute later the band took their places and finally began the next song. </p><p> </p><p>Julie abandoned her piano completely and stood in the center with Luke as he began to sing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So many voices in my life</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many choices they want me to make </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like it’s easy </em>
</p><p>
  <em>To let this go </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many voices in my life </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many choices I know I had to make </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cause it’s easy </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you know</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sang it softly and kept his eyes firmly on Julie’s, all of the craziness leading up to this moment forgotten as they tuned into each other and the song. She joined him on the chorus, slotting in with a higher harmony. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I can’t hear their voices </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like my heart’s echo is all I know</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ringing out over and over </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saying don’t you dare let go </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I can hear your voice </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like your heart’s echo is all I know </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ringing out over and over </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saying don’t you dare let go</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie took the next verse, grateful that the rest of the band seemed to be hanging in there with their simple backing music. It was a different feeling to sing something so delicate and understated and it felt special in a completely new way. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So many voices in my head </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many things I might lose in the end </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it wouldn’t be easy</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To let this go </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many voices in my head </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So many things I’ll fight for til the end </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cause I’m not that easy</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I won’t let go</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She knew Luke had started writing this song about those who doubted his dream, most likely his parents. But as she had helped him punch up the words and melodies it had been a very different fear of letting go that had pushed to the forefront of her mind. That lent an extra layer of emotion to her voice that she hoped came across well. </p><p> </p><p>Luke joined her again for the final chorus, their voices twisting together in a way she had missed more than she wanted to admit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I can’t hear their voices </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like my heart’s echo is all I know</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ringing out over and over </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saying don’t you dare let go </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I can hear your voice </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like your heart’s echo is all I know </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ringing out over and over </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saying don’t you dare let go</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t you dare let go…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Their voices faded out and there was a brief moment of silence before applause and cheers erupted for the audience. Julie let her gaze linger on Luke’s triumphant smile for half a second more before she tore her eyes away to take in the crowd’s reaction. They seemed to have won everyone back including Queenie who was clapping lightly and nodding. </p><p> </p><p>They had done it. There was no guarantee what would happen for the guys after this and there definitely wasn’t any guarantee when it came to her own future, but she could rest easy now knowing she had done her best to help them. </p><p> </p><p>The band took a bow and practically tumbled off of the stage, their left over adrenaline and excitement leaving them clumsy with joy. They instantly wrapped each other in an enthusiastic hug.</p><p> </p><p>“You two were amazing!” Alex gushed.</p><p> </p><p>“Us? You three just played a song for the first time and absolutely killed it!” Julie shot back happily.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we did, didn't we?” Bobby grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, own your awesomeness, Alex,” Reggie bumped his friend’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you guys,” Luke said sincerely, his energy still sky high. “That was perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was definitely something.”</p><p> </p><p>The entire band turned to see who had spoken and Julie frowned when the answer was revealed. It was the girl whose appearance in the crowd had caused Luke’s minor meltdown. </p><p> </p><p>“Jennifer.” Alex said flatly. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex,” She answered, her expression in theory a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I just wanted to say hi. It’s been awhile since I saw you guys. You’ve picked up a little something extra since then.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie assumed that meant her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m Julie,” She introduced herself though she didn’t particularly want to. “I’m just filling in while Luke’s arm heals.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s amazing, as you probably heard,” Reggie cut in. </p><p> </p><p>“We wrote the last song together,” Luke spoke up, his voice hard. </p><p> </p><p>Jennifer shot him an amused look that drove Julie instantly crazy. </p><p> </p><p>“How nice. I know how much that means to you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...ok, not that this awkwardness hasn’t been fun but we actually have someone really important to talk to so…” Bobby said, not hesitating to be blunt.</p><p> </p><p>Jennifer frowned but didn’t protest as the band turned as one and headed further into the crowd. </p><p> </p><p>Julie had a lot of questions but she didn’t have time to put any of them into words before the people in front of them were parting and suddenly both Rose and Queenie were standing in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys were so great!” Rose enthused.</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt something bright and joyful burst Gree in her chest at her mother’s words.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t get carried away,” Queenie said but she seemed pleased too. “But there’s definitely potential.”</p><p> </p><p>“Potential, potential is good,” Luke repeated. “Is potential good?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Potential is good. We are such stuff as dreams are made of…” </p><p> </p><p>“We’re not made of dreams,” Reggie corrected, gesturing at his body. “Just regular people stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that...Shakespeare?” Bobby asked a little dazedly.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie flipped her hair behind her shoulder and tilted her head.</p><p> </p><p>“What? A pop star can’t read?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! I just...yeah,” Bobby trailed off, more flustered than Julie was used to seeing him even when she had caught him flirting with her mother.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, I’ve got to be off but give my people a call,” Queenie reached into her bag and pulled out a card with a flourish before handing it to Luke. “I’d like you to come in sometime next week so we can see what we can do about that potential.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie gave them one last considering smile before turning on her heel and flouncing away. </p><p> </p><p>“We did it!” Luke practically shouted as soon as she walked away, his excitement mirrored on all of their faces. </p><p> </p><p>“I knew you would,” Rose offered, decidedly more calm but just as excited. “And I hate to break up the celebration but I need you guys to get your instruments packed up. I’ve got someone else going on soon.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed dramatically.</p><p> </p><p>“And...back to reality.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to go check on Beatrice,” Luke announced as the rest of the guys headed back towards the stage.</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned as she watched him head towards the side door. Something must be off if he wasn’t going to pretend he was vital to the packing process. </p><p> </p><p>Alex seemed to notice too. </p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you go check on him?” He suggested. “It’s been a crazy evening.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded and headed for the side door Luke had just disappeared through. It opened into an alley unsurprisingly. Julie just had time to head to head for the entrance to the street and reflect on how much time she had been spending in alleys lately when she realized she was about to walk into someone. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, excuse me…” She said, stepping to the side in time to avoid the man’s quick stride but not so fast that she could get out of the way of his swinging arm. She was prepared to be bumped only that didn’t happen. The arm passed right through her. </p><p> </p><p>Julie seemed to register that she had just encountered a ghost at the same time that the man seemed to register she had seen him. </p><p> </p><p>He spun to face her, and examined her curiously with a gaze that instantly had Julie shuddering. When he spoke it was in an odd, drawn out fashion and a frightening smirk. </p><p> </p><p>“And who...are...you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So we end on the introduction of another Alice in Wonderland stand in...whoooooo could that be? 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Your reactions to last chapter were so amazing. Thank you so much. Imposter syndrome is real and sometimes I post something cringing the whole time but you guys always hype me up and I love you for it. ☺️</p><p>A lot of you were guessing different characters for who the ghost Julie met might represent and the answer is *drumroll please* THE CATERPILLAR. Who are you??? 🐛 </p><p>Relatively shorter chapter but hopefully still enjoyable. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie stumbled back from the man in front of her instinctively even though logically she knew he couldn’t actually touch her. </p><p> </p><p>She had been so surprised at first at encountering a ghost at all that she had only taken in his frightening expression and nothing else. Now though she had enough distance to take in more troubling details that really should have stood out from the beginning. He wore a long crushed velvet coat in green and a top hat. And the thing was she had never seen Caleb for herself, despite the way his evil plans had completely set in motion everything she was dealing with now. But the guys had described him and she wasn’t naive enough to believe there were two ghosts from the 1920s wandering around LA in top hats intimidating people.</p><p> </p><p>So the odds that the ghost currently staring her down was Caleb were way too high for comfort. Julie felt a new rush of fear as that knowledge firmly settled in. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s polite to answer when someone asks you a question,” He took a step closer to her, his smirk still firmly in place. “So I’ll ask you again. Who are <em> you </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie gulped, feeling her heart pound out an erratic rhythm in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m no one,” She managed to get out as she took another step backwards toward the street. </p><p> </p><p>Caleb clicked his tongue and shook his head as though she had disappointed him with her answer. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, now don’t sell yourself short,” He insisted, matching her steps so her efforts to distance herself were in vain. “You can see me, that makes you someone special. And you don’t seem all that surprised by your ghostly experience and that makes you...intriguing.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shuddered. The last thing she wanted to be was intriguing to Caleb Covington. </p><p> </p><p>“And if I’m not mistaken…” Caleb leaned in even further, his eyes narrowing as he seemed to come to a realization. “You don’t belong here.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt  eyes widen at his words. How could he possibly know that? This was really, really not good. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure if fear gave her sudden clarity or if she was just finally full on panicking, but either way Julie turned and bolted towards the street. She should have known that wasn’t likely to be an effective strategy against a ghost but she still shrieked from surprise when Caleb poofed in front of her. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s the rush? Don’t you like making new friends?” Caleb said. “Here. I have a feeling you’ll change your mind.”</p><p> </p><p>He flicked his hand and a business card appeared there. </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t stop to see what was on it and she certainly didn’t reach out to take it from him. Instead she took a deep breath and ran directly through him, ignoring the cold rush that came with passing through a ghost and barreling out of the alley and onto the street. </p><p> </p><p>She rounded the corner and half sprinted, half stumbled down the sidewalk until she saw the band’s white van. Just as she was reaching Beatrice, Luke emerged from behind it, his expression shifting as he saw her approaching in a panic. She intended to skid to a halt in front of him, she really did, but that’s not what ended up happening. What ended up happening was a combination of timing her stop wrong and the subconscious desire to seek out his comfort ended up leaving her crashing directly into him. </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa,” Luke huffed as she slammed into him, probably knocking the air out of him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie may not have intended to crash into Luke but now that she had she wasn’t exactly eager to separate from him as she caught her breath and regained her sense of safety. She knew deep down that there was nothing particularly safe about latching on to Luke in this moment. She hadn’t forgotten that her goal was to get home without leaving a gaping hole behind in 1995. The night had already seen her failing in that goal many times from her less than subtle performance to encountering an evil ghost with an unhealthy interest in her. But none of that meant that she could deny herself what she needed in that moment. </p><p> </p><p>Julie wrapped her arms around Luke’s middle, burying her face in his chest as she struggled to pull herself together.</p><p> </p><p>Luke tensed but still reached up to place a comforting hand on her back, holding her against him gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took one last shuddering breath before taking half a step back from him, far enough to see his face but not so far that she had to completely let go of him. She left one hand clutching at the edge of his shirt, trying not to judge herself too much for it.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, you’re freaking me out,” Luke broke into her thoughts. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“There was this...guy,” She said, thinking that was about as close as she could get to telling him the truth. </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned, his entire body tensing again.</p><p> </p><p>“Did he hurt you?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, he didn’t do anything really. Just scared me.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke craned his neck to look behind Julie down the street, clearly searching for the culprit.</p><p> </p><p>“What did he look like? I’ll go take a look.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, forget it really. I probably overreacted. Let’s just wait for the guys and go home, ok?” Julie insisted.</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t seem convinced but he didn’t take off down the street in search of Caleb, so she would call that a victory. They seemed to realize at the same time just how close they were still standing to each other, both taking a semi-awkward step backwards as they exchanged shy looks. This required Julie to finally release her hold on his shirt which made her strangely regretful. She wasn’t particularly proud of that emotion but she also couldn’t judge herself too harshly for it. She hadn’t been able to touch the guys at all for so long, it was hard to deny herself that now.</p><p> </p><p>There was a brief pause before Luke reached up and scratched at the back of his neck bashfully, and met her eyes searchingly.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you’re ok?” He asked eventually.</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded, managing a small smile to reassure him.</p><p> </p><p>“So…” She cringed slightly, preparing herself for making the most awkward transition ever. “I actually came out here to check on you.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head and fixed her with a grin that was clearly meant to make her think he was fine. It probably would have worked on someone who didn’t know him as well as she did. Someone who knew him the amount he <em> thought </em>she knew him would probably be fooled by it. But too bad for him, that wasn’t actually her. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course. I’m great! We just killed it in there.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie wasn’t sure exactly how to approach the Jennifer incident but she also felt like the curiosity was eating her alive. </p><p> </p><p>“Right, yeah, we totally did. Just...your ex showed up and you got a little rattled so I just wanted to...check. On you. Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s eyes widened comically as he listened to her rambling speech. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s not...we never dated. It’s not like that.” He said quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie said quietly. </p><p> </p><p> She could tell there was more to it, obviously but she didn’t think it was her place to push. She couldn’t deny that she was happy to hear him say they hadn’t dated even if she wasn’t proud of that reaction. She knew he had a life before he met her and that was normal and a good thing. Julie also knew their “interesting little relationship” didn’t exactly put her in the category of having dated him either. But she <em> felt </em>like she had been on the brink of it, impossible as that would have been. It was confusing to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>Before the truly awkward conversation could go any further the guys emerged from around the corner, each hauling instruments in cases, or part of his instrument in Alex’s case. Julie took the opportunity to escape by running up to see if any of them would let her help. They all refused but asking served its purpose. After a few more trips the van was loaded up and they were back on the road.</p><p> </p><p>The guys were so hyped up after their successful gig that the entire ride was spent volleying loud comments at each other, reliving all of the best moments and breaking down Queenie’s words over and over. Bobby had been in such a good mood he hadn’t even complained as he climbed in the back amongst the instruments.</p><p> </p><p>Despite the fact that Caleb’s appearance earlier combined with the complete failure of her plan to remain in the background had left her rattled, Julie couldn’t help but smile as she listened in to their excited conversations. A lot of things had not gone to plan that night but all of them paled in comparison to the one thing that had gone very, very right. </p><p> </p><p>Her boys were happy. And they were back on track to fulfilling their dreams after first hotdogs and then...well, <em> she </em>had ruined things before.</p><p> </p><p>When they made it back to Bobby’s house there was a brief argument about whether they should take the time to unload the van that night or wait until the next day.</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t leave the stuff in Beatrice,” Luke insisted. “Someone could steal it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Spoken like the one who doesn’t have to help carry it,” Bobby groaned. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, cry me a river, Mr. I play the guitar. You guys are always suspiciously missing when I need help with my drums,” Alex added his voice rising on the end..</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t get emotional about it, I’ll help you, buddy,” Reggie offered.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not getting emotional!” Alex insisted, his tone and expression doing little to help his case.</p><p> </p><p>“I keep saying I’ll help,” Julie broke in. </p><p> </p><p>All four of the guys paused and looked at her before shaking their heads and returning to their heated discussion. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that was going to take a little more work.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Luke won out and the instruments were unloaded and deposited safely back in the garage. Luke stood next to Julie “supervising” the process. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s good to be home after a long night, isn’t it?” Luke asked eventually.</p><p> </p><p>Julie glanced over at him, curious where he was going with that not super Luke like statement.</p><p> </p><p>“You said that earlier,” He continued in an overly casual way. “That you wanted to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head even as a smile found its way onto her face against her will.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, don’t read too much into that you dork.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke tried to look offended at that but he looked more amused than anything as he pointed at himself.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a dork? You’re calling me a dork? After I invited you into my home?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your home is a garage. Someone else’s garage. And I remember you argued <em> hard </em>to kick me out.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head and grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t remember that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you don’t remember that, huh?” Julie said, fighting hard not to be charmed by him and failing immediately.</p><p> </p><p>“The point is, I’m glad you’re settling in ok, or whatever,” Luke finally said, not looking at her as he said it. “I’m glad you’re here. I mean, we all are. You belong here.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that he was trying to offer her something comforting, after all she had said enough to imply to him that hadn’t had anywhere to belong before she arrived in their lives. And even if that wasn’t true exactly in the way he thought it was she was still moved by what he was trying to do. But his words also reminded her of Caleb’s statement earlier.</p><p> </p><p>He had taken one look at her and known she didn’t belong. </p><p> </p><p>So Julie wanted to be happy to hear Luke say that but she couldn’t forget the fact that the more they wanted her with them the more they would end up hurt later.</p><p> </p><p> Luckily she was saved from having to come up with a convincingly enthusiastic response by the guys who had finished unloading and were preparing to leave. Reggie insisted on a full band hug to celebrate their night, which Bobby grumbled about but seemed to enjoy once it actually happened. Eventually the rest of the guys went home and she and Luke bid each other only slightly awkward goodnights and separated for the night. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until she was getting undressed for bed that Julie realized there was something rectangular in her pocket. She reached in curiously and pulled out the thin object, stopping cold when she realized what it was. </p><p> </p><p>It was a business card that was blank except for an address. Julie flipped it over, her heart pounding out of her chest as she saw the simple, curling script on that side which said only one thing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Caleb Covington.  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Caleb pulling out his ghostly magician skills to cause mayhem. That’s very him.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Lists, games and rings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m alive! In case anyone was worried. 🙃</p><p>I worked on writing this chapter for two days and it started out totally different but when that version wasn’t working I went a totally different direction. The good news is I actually really like this chapter which I rarely say. I can’t wait for you guys to read it! It is 2:30 in the morning though so I should probably attempt to get some sleep at some point. </p><p>There’s a conversation in this chapter that is a rewording of a passage from the book which hints at which character Luke might loosely represent. It will be interesting to see if anyone spots it.</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A week had passed since their big show and the mood among the band was a little tense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Queenie had told them to call and set up a time to come into the record label and of course Luke had interpreted that to mean call as early as possible the next day. His enthusiasm had been somewhat dampened when he had told the person who answered the phone that he was from Sunset Curve and they responded with a “who” rather than excitement. After he had finally managed to convince someone that they really had been scouted by Queenie Hart and they really were supposed to be scheduling a meeting, he was passed off to at least 3 different assistants. In the end the last assistant he spoke with asked for him to leave his number and they would call back when they had a time for him. Luke had apparently tried to explain that he didn’t have a number he could be reached at but had literally been laughed at. In the end he had provided Bobby’s number and begrudgingly accepted the fact that he would have to relinquish control of the next step to Bobby, or even more horrifying...one of Bobby’s parents who might inadvertently intercept the call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a week and they had yet to hear anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Needless to say Luke wasn’t taking the waiting well. Julie had watched him go from annoyed to impatient to downright chaotic, bouncing around the garage as though he physically couldn’t sit still for more than a minute while waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After she discovered that Caleb had somehow magiced his card into her pocket, her first instinct had been to tear it up and throw it away. She didn’t know how any of this worked but if he could get it into her pocket what was to say he couldn’t also use it to magically track her or something? It didn’t seem like Caleb had to play by most of the ghost rules the boys had and she really didn’t want him showing up to inform her exactly what he was capable of. But at the last minute she had hesitated as she prepared to rip it in half. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She needed to get home. The alley where she had appeared didn’t seem to be the answer. And realistically the only other clue she had to a possible portal location was the one in Caleb’s club. What if that was the only chance she would ever have to make it back? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That didn’t mean she was in any rush to run out and look for Caleb. She wasn’t under any illusions that it was a good idea to ever put herself in front of him again let alone trust him enough to ask him for help. But she couldn’t deny it would be stupid to destroy the link to what might end up being her last resort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So instead she had hidden it under her mattress and become even more determined to figure out a different way. And the only other hint of hope she had to latch on to was Willie’s suggestion that the whole thing was tied into the idea of unfinished business. She had stopped the guys from eating the hotdogs, and she had even helped them get the attention of a record label. But was that all she was meant to do? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that she thought they would say she owed them more than that, it was more about how she felt. Could she really say she felt good about leaving them where they were in their lives? That she wouldn’t have worries and regrets when she had to say goodbye to them forever? Maybe she needed to do enough for them that </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>felt at peace with their lives and not the other way around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Julie had sat down with the notebook Luke had given her and made a list. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Families: </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Luke</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Alex </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Reggie </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Record deal </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Happy </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ok, so that was a pretty ambitious list. Concrete things like reuniting Luke with his parents or signing a record deal felt impossible enough let alone something as abstract as making sure the boys were happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Falling through time had felt impossible until recently. So had meeting real life ghosts or even singing again without her mom for that matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impossible things were kind of starting to be her specialty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when Luke was on the brink of wearing a hole in the floor from his constant pacing she saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. If she could convince Luke that they should get out of the garage for awhile maybe she could ease into the subject of his parents and save her own sanity from his antics at the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke,” She called softly in what she hoped was a sweet and enticing voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It couldn’t have been too successful though because he didn’t even pause in his steps, humming under his breath as he continued tracing his frantic path. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much for going the sweet route.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time she shouted it and the message got through. His head snapped up and he jumped, arms coming up to clutch at each other as though he half expected her to follow her yell with a physical attack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, Julie! What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Julie said, shooting him what she hoped was a suitably apologetic look. “What do you say we get out of here for a while?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That seemed to get his attention. He dropped his arms and titled his head in apparent interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And go where?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, anywhere. You pick. But you could clearly use a distraction and I might lose my mind if I spend one more day trapped in this garage.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed to consider for a moment before nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fair. Where did you hang around before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie froze for a moment, racking her brain for a safe answer. It was so strange. She was able to forget that she was in an entirely different decade for hours at a time but when a reminder hit it always hit hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um...you know, just around. The beach or the uh...mall?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There she went again, phrasing things as questions that really should have been statements. She was pretty sure malls had been a bigger deal in the 90s. That was really all she had. If she mentioned anything too specific she ran the risk of mentioning a place that didn’t actually exist yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke scrunched his face up in apparent disgust which she much preferred to suspicion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not taking you to the mall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie rolled her eyes in mild exasperation. Hadn’t she told him to pick from the start? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, let’s go somewhere else then. When was the last time you went anywhere just to have fun and not to busk or try to book a gig?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke hesitated. She could see he was torn between giving in and insisting that he had more important things to do than wander around with her. The fact that those “important things” seemed to be pacing and worrying didn’t seem to be phasing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie decided it was time to pull out the big guns and use a strategy that she had found to be extremely effective on ghost Luke. She could only hope it would be just as powerful on his living counterpart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shot him her best puppy dog eyes, stopping just short of actually pouting her lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could almost see the resistance drain right out of him as he practically melted under her assault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, ok, we can go out for a bit,” Luke agreed, earning him a victorious grin from Julie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she should use this power of hers sparingly and save it for truly special occasions but seeing how easily it made Luke cave left her tempted to pull it out more often. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great!” She bounced up from the couch and followed Luke out of the garage. He immediately turned toward the house causing Julie to stop short and frown.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To get the keys to Beatrice,” He slowed down but he was still edging in that direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head quickly, eager to shoot that idea down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nuh uh, stand down, cast boy,” She insisted, stepping forward in preparation in case she needed to physically block him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, didn’t we have fun driving the other day?” He reminded her, still trying to inch backwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did,” Julie agreed. “And today we’re going to have fun </span>
  <em>
    <span>walking</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Julie</span>
  </em>
  <span>…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He whined her name in such a specific way that a flashback hit her out of nowhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s in the box?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Girl stuff! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You just should have said nothing because now I can’t stop thinking about it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a shuddering breath as the memory washed over her. She’d been so annoyed at the time but now she looked back on it with nothing but affection. They never had mastered the whole boundaries thing, either of them if she was being totally honest, but his snooping in her dream box had led to Flying Solo and her officially joining the band. She knew Luke was standing right in front her, that there was only an hour’s difference for him between the Luke she had originally met and this one, knew that there would be plenty of time for missing him once they were separated by 25 years and fate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But in that moment it still hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you ok?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t realized how long she had ignored his plea until he was examining her face with concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie forced a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m good. Great even. So let’s go ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hesitated again, glancing back towards the house with a wistful expression. Julie reached out and grabbed his cast free hand which served the purpose of getting his attention back. His eyes dropped to their joined hands and and stayed there for a long second, his comical reaction enough to shake Julie out of both any lingering sadness and any potential embarrassment. She shook her head and laughed as she tugged on his hand, pulling him away from the path to the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He came willingly even though he still looked a little dazed, his eyes firmly locked on their linked hands as they stumbled down the driveway together. Julie released him when they reached the street doing her best to appear completely nonchalant about the impromptu hand holding even though she felt the telltale rush of heat that meant she was blushing. She didn’t feel too bad about it though as she was pretty sure Luke was also currently pretending to be chill about the situation and failing pretty miserably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly before defaulting back to pouting over her refusal to let him drive now that she’d thought better of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could have driven just fine,” He mumbled. “It’s not like we would have died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie reached out and slapped his shoulder, realizing a little too late that it was the shoulder connected to his bad arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow! What was that for?” Luke protested, reaching up to rub at the spot she had hit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Julie cringed and fluttered her hands around his shoulder like she could take it back. “Just...don’t even joke about dying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked suddenly apologetic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think...I’m sorry. I mean...your mom and everything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head and smiled softly. It was sweet of him to worry about her but he had no idea it was his own death that had been on her mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. Anyway...which way should we go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That depends a lot on where you want to go,” Luke offered unhelpfully, a smile starting to make its way back on to his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I don’t really care where…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then it doesn’t really matter which way we go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s smile had progressed into a full grin by this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...as long as we get somewhere that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>that garage,” Julie finished, ignoring his attempt at a joke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s what happens when you walk long enough,” Luke kept going, clearly amused by his own comments. “We could try walking backwards if you want. See if we end up nowhere.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re crazy,” Julie said, reaching out to give him a playful shove, careful to avoid his injured arm this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, we’re all a little crazy,” Luke offered, that grin of his still firmly in place. “I’m crazy, you’re crazy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know I’m crazy?” She challenged, hands on her hips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke leaned in before he responded in a teasing tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be or you wouldn’t have come here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie tried to keep the burst of nearly hysterical laughter from escaping his unintentionally insightful comment but she completely failed. She couldn’t deny that jumping into a hole in the floor of a ghost club in the hopes that she would be able to travel through time and save three guys from tainted hotdogs...that was pretty crazy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked confused but pleased by her reaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew I was funny, I just didn’t know I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie managed to get her laughter under control and took a deep breath before fixing the boy in front of her with a pleading look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you just pick somewhere and point the way?” Julie begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke was still grinning but he seemed to finally take pity on her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, fine. I know the perfect place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One long walk later, they stood in the entrance of the supposed “perfect” place. Julie stared inside skeptically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An arcade?” She stated the obvious doubtfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even from the entrance she could see that the place was packed with the kind of boxy, standing games she had only ever seen in movies. She was pretty sure arcades had been mostly an 80s thing but apparently there were still some around in 95. This one appeared to be pretty deserted but it was also a school day so maybe they had just beat the rush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not just any arcade,” Luke insisted. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>The </span>
  </em>
  <span>arcade. The boys and I used to come here every weekend before we got too busy with the band. I still have the high score on The Simpsons.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said that like it should have been super impressive but it meant nothing to Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The tv show?” She asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at her incredulously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, the game based on the...wait, have you never played it before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never played any arcade games,” Julie admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke stared at her in shock for a moment before using his good hand to grab hers, seemingly too excited to feel awkward this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, we’re going to change that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After about an hour Julie was fighting off a headache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flashing lights, the fact that even the games no one was playing were constantly making noise...it was a lot. Not to mention she was incredibly bad at playing them. She couldn’t get used to the joysticks and the buttons and Luke’s attempts to demonstrate with one arm hadn’t gone so well. She did enjoy watching him try though. The way he got so excited when he tried to explain something to her, the cute face he made when he was concentrating on the screen. Watching him a little too closely was definitely her favorite, and arguably the most mortifying should she ever have to admit it, part of the experience. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie leaned against one of the games as Luke frantically tried to play the one next to it. She figured this was as good a time as any to try to ease into the subject of his parents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...did your parents mind you practically living in the arcade in pursuit of a high score?” Julie asked in what she hoped was a suitably casual tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke was apparently distracted by her question. He jolted slightly, pushing the joystick violently and prompting the game over noise to emit from the speakers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” Luke grunted before turning to face her, his expression a little more shut off than she was used to seeing it. “My parents were never really a fan of anything I wanted to spend my time on. But it was the whole rock band thing that really set them off. Ironic since they bought me my first guitar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie stood up straight and turned to face Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they just need a little time to come to terms with the whole thing,” She suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke scuffed his sneaker angrily against the brightly colored carpet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They had years to come to terms with it. They just didn’t want to do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not too late,” Julie offered softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head harshly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I left for a reason. Everyone’s better off.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated for a moment as she tried to think of the right words to keep him from shutting down. She wished she wasn’t surrounded by a thousand different electronic noises. It would certainly make thinking clearly a little easier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But maybe if you just tried…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” Luke cut her off, lashing out slightly then seemingly immediately regretting it. “Sorry. I just mean you should understand this better than anybody. You clearly have family issues too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a deep breath and forced herself to keep her emotions at bay even though every mention of her family was enough to bring tears to her eyes if she wasn’t vigilant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love. It doesn’t mean you love them any less. But the thing is you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be apart from your parents. And I don’t believe you really want to spend the rest of your life not talking to them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke swallowed hard and jerked his gaze away from hers, seemingly unable to have this conversation while making direct eye contact. She was surprised he was willing to have it at all. She wanted to believe it was because he could feel they were connected beyond the almost 3 weeks they had known each other in 1995.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t know what to say,” He admitted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should try putting it in a song,” She suggested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did...I just...I don’t know,” Luke shook his head yet again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie decided if she wasn’t above quoting Luke to Luke she wasn’t above quoting things she had already said to him either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I get it. I know how hard it is when you want to speak to someone you love and can’t. I feel that way everyday.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the thing is this time she meant it even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mom. Her dad. Carlos. Flynn. The list of people she missed and desperately wanted to talk to was only growing longer. And she knew that in all likelihood that list would include him and the boys when she made it back home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t want Luke to feel that for the rest of his life. Not when she had seen first hand how much he would regret it. Not when she had a chance to save him from that fate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She must have stared off into space for a little too long because Luke was looking down at her with concern again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know exactly what you’ve been through but I’m sorry. Families are tough. It’s like that for all of us in Wonderland. Well, except for Bobby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie felt a smile creep on to her face at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just called the studio Wonderland.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke matched her smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell him I said that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No promises,” She teased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And about the other thing...I’ll think about it, ok?” He offered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still looked extremely unsure about that but she would take it. She figured that was decent progress for day one of her new “improve her friends lives and get back home in the process” plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” She answered softly, their eyes locking for a long moment. “Uh...should we head home now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His grin came back at that one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just called it home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you not to read too much into that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No promises,” He shot back, using her own words against her barely a minute after she’d said them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie reached out and grabbed his hand tugging him towards the exit. She figured if they had already done it twice that day there was no reason to deny herself. If she wanted to hold his hand for a couple of seconds at this point she figured she might as well go for it. She deserved a reward for not doing anything to totally destroy the timeline that day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were about to step back out into the fresh air, thankfully free of the noise, when Julie noticed something she had missed on the way in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cute!” She exclaimed, dropping Luke’s hand and walking over to examine the claw machine which she had spotted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of stuffed animals it was filled with little toys and trinkets. The item that had caught her eye was a purple ring in a plastic container. Obviously it was meant for a child to wear but something about the chunky plastic and the sparkly gem on the top reminded her of something she would find in her mom’s trunk. It would go perfectly with the dress she had worn when they performed at the Orpheum. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pressed her face close to the glass and took a closer look. She didn’t notice that Luke had joined her until he spoke almost directly into her ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie jumped slightly before standing up and shaking her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I don’t need it. I just thought it was cute. Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She started to walk away but Luke was already digging quarters out of his pocket. He deposited two into the game and used his good hand to grip the joystick. He guided the claw over the ring and then hit the button to drop it. His aim was good but the claw only nudged his intended target, failing to lift it at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke, it’s ok,” She assured him. “These things are rigged anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignored her protest and dropped another two quarters into the machine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got this,” He insisted, jerking the joystick again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His second attempt wasn’t successful. Neither was his third or fourth. On the fifth try he managed to lift the ring’s container a few inches before it dropped back to the bottom of the machine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Argh!” Luke half shouted in frustration, shoving himself back from the machine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie reached out and touched his shoulder gently, relieved to see that her touch seemed to sooth him slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need the ring ok?. I played my first arcade game. Badly but still. We had an adventure. That’s my prize today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke didn’t seem entirely convinced by her argument but he did follow her out of the arcade. She spent the entire walk back peppering him with random questions about what movies he loved or musicians he aspired to be like, anything to keep him talking. It started as a distraction but she found herself sincerely enjoying hearing his answers. They had never found much time to talk about more than their music or their tragic backstories back in 2020. They had been a little busy to be fair but this was still nice. She did her best to answer when he turned the questions on her, sticking to classic movies her dad liked and bands she were sure were considered oldies even in 1995.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they made it back to the garage and met up with the rest of the guys Luke seemed to have forgotten all about both her probing questions about his parents and his ring based failures. Which is why she was surprised when later that night, when they were alone again, he mentioned it out of the blue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you that ring,” He said as they both sat on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” She couldn’t hide her surprise. “I told you it doesn’t matter. It was just a toy anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” He frowned down at his lap. “It’s just you’ve hardly got anything, just the random stuff we found for you in dumpsters and Alex’s sister’s closet. It would have been nice to give you something you wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s sweet but really...wait...what did you give me from a dumpster?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke chose to ignore her question though she would definitely be returning to it later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The point is I’ll get it for you someday,” Luke said firmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had a sudden idea. She reached over to grab the black marker that was still on the coffee table and scooted closer to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” He asked as she gently pulled his bad arm into her lap just as she had on her birthday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m giving us both one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She uncapped the marker and carefully drew the outline of a ring on his cast. She added the gem on the top and sat back to admire her work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was quiet for a moment and when he spoke it was in a very specific soft tone she’d heard him use before, directed at her, but always in 2020. This was the first time she’d heard it since she had been stuck in the past. She tried to ignore the way her heart clenched at the sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another memory?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another memory.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the thing was, she knew she was supposed to want him to forget her. She was supposed to be just a weird anecdote he vaguely remembered in the long life he had stretching out before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> But if she was being honest with herself she couldn’t help but hope that the memories they made together would last longer than the cast she recorded them on. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t know I just thought they should have a cute little “not a date” date. I regret nothing. </p><p>I also rewatched the show yet again today so hopefully their voices will be nice and fresh when I write next chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Phone calls and revelations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We’ve officially reached part 2 of this story! It will have 3 parts and an epilogue if you’re curious. </p><p>Two chapters in a row that I actually like how they came out. This is great! 😂</p><p>We’ve got plot moving forward, some drama, some Juke cuteness, some Reggie and Alex banter and a Julie and Alex heart to heart. I mean honestly, what more could you ask for?</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Part 2:</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Painting the roses red </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can’t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>“Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to remark.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Tut, tut, child!” said the Duchess. “Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.” Chapter 9, The Mock Turtle’s Story </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next afternoon the entire band was in Wonderland teaching Julie some more of Sunset Curve’s songs. Julie wasn’t sure it was entirely necessary since they didn’t have any gigs lined up and she wasn’t planning on allowing them to seek any out if she could help it. She had done her part to get them noticed and now it was time to let Luke’s arm heal and for her to slip back into obscurity in 1995. Still, it was something to do which had served the dual purpose of keeping Julie too busy to focus on how scared she was and to keep Luke from freaking out more than he already was while waiting for the call from Red Rose Records. </p><p> </p><p>Mostly.</p><p> </p><p>They still had to take breaks and the cracks in Luke’s patience had a tendency to show again in less than ideal ways.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure they haven’t called?” He demanded of Bobby, as they put down their instruments.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure,” Bobby answered flatly.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t blame him for his annoyed reaction. It wasn’t the first time Luke had asked him that question. It wasn’t even the first time that day.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you should go check just in case,” Luke suggested earning him groans and eye rolls from both Alex and Reggie. Julie sighed heavily, already sensing this repeated conversation wasn’t heading in a good direction. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s response was to clench his jaw and run his hand through his hair briskly. </p><p> </p><p>“I just checked an hour ago. There’s nothing on the answering machine.” </p><p> </p><p>“But you could just go check again to be sure,” Luke insisted. “Unless there’s some reason you don’t want to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t say anything more but she hoped her warning tone would be enough to reign him in. That of course turned out to be wishful thinking.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bobby demanded.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just saying you’ve been fighting me on every song lately. Maybe you want to go solo and have total control of your own boring music.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence during which they all took in the words Luke had just snapped at his friend. </p><p> </p><p>In the end Bobby was the first to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice, got it, Luke. Nice to know how you really feel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s all just chill out for a minute,” Alex broke in, raising his hands as though he could ward off the argument that had been brewing for awhile. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Luke’s just stressed,” Reggie added.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re all stressed. But of course it’s only “genius Luke” who gets a pass for being a jerk,” Bobby shot back.</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned and started to step forward to speak but Julie reached out and gripped his good elbow. His eyes darted down to where her hand rested on his arm before moving back up to her face. She shook her head and gave him a look that asked him to really think about what he was about to say next and what exactly he hoped to accomplish by saying it. She worried at the last minute that he might not actually be able to get all of that from her nonverbal message but she shouldn’t have. She almost instantly felt some of the tension drain out of him and he let out a defeated sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby...I didn’t mean that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Bobby asked skeptically. “Because it was right on the tip of your tongue.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke did seem genuinely apologetic now but Julie didn’t blame Bobby for still being upset. She had been an unhappy witness to Luke’s inability to think things through when he got angry before, also directed at Bobby now that she thought about it, and she hadn’t been pleased by the way he reacted first and thought later either. He always seemed to be sorry afterwards but that didn’t make it ok. </p><p> </p><p>It was so odd. As soon as she had found out that Trevor was actually Bobby she had tried to picture him as a teenager hanging around the other guys. What would their dynamic have been like? </p><p> </p><p>Part of her had assumed that Bobby was always on the fringe of their group, a member of the band but not a close friend. How else could she explain the fact that he had apparently betrayed them or that they would be so quick to believe he had? How else could she explain the fact that he had never mentioned them or that their first question to her hadn’t been a request to find out what had happened to their bandmate?”</p><p> </p><p>The reality was something else.</p><p> </p><p>He was one of them. He really was. </p><p> </p><p>And more than that he was kind. He had taken in not only Luke but her with very little hesitation. He loved all of the guys she could tell and he had even made room for her in his heart too. But it was Luke he was arguably closest to as hard to believe as that would have been to her only a few weeks ago. And underneath all of the bickering and the teasing and the impatience...she knew that affection was mutual. </p><p> </p><p>They reminded her of her and Carlos. They never liked to admit it but they cared about each other deeply.</p><p> </p><p>Which is why thinking back to the rift that had come between them in their original future made Julie all the more sad. It was also why she was so determined not to let Luke drive a wedge between them here and now. </p><p> </p><p>“You know I’m not trying to “fight you” on every song,” Bobby broke into her thoughts. “I’m in the band. They’re our songs. I just want us to do it together.” </p><p> </p><p>He sounded more hurt than angry at this point and Julie could tell everyone else was picking up on that as well.</p><p> </p><p>“I love your boring ideas,” Reggie said in a kind tone as he lightly punched Bobby’s arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok...not helpful, Reg,” Alex sighed. “Really though Bobby, you’re right. They’re our songs. Luke’s lyrics are killer but we wouldn’t be Sunset Curve without every one of us.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a rush of emotion at that comment. It was partially because it was another reminder that fate had originally pulled Bobby away from them but it was also because some traitorous part of her mind couldn’t help but wonder if that included her now too.</p><p> </p><p>“Does Luke know that?” Bobby grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“He does,” Luke spoke up. “And he knows he’s a bit of an idiot so really you shouldn’t take anything rude he says too seriously.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t ever speak in third person again,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “But...apology accepted or whatever.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned and shot forward to wrap Bobby in some semi-violent combination of a hug and a headlock. They scuffled around shoving at each other and Julie just stared at them incredulously.</p><p> </p><p>“Are they making up or attacking each other?” She asked out loud, genuinely unable to tell. </p><p> </p><p>“Both,” Reggie informed her happily.</p><p> </p><p>“Boys,” Julie rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me about it,” Alex said, shaking his head in affectionate judgement. </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly there was a knock on the garage door.</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke and Bobby froze midway through their wrestling and stared comically in the direction of the voice from outside. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s my mom!” Bobby hissed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re kidding,” Alex whispered sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>Julie had to admit he had a point. The woman was clearly visible through the windows in the garage door though she seemed to be honoring her son’s request for privacy so far by not actually looking inside. Still, all it would take was a slight turn of her head and Luke’s cover would be 100% blown. Bobby’s parents might be laid back and total saints comparatively but there’s no way any responsible adults wouldn’t report that they had found a missing person. </p><p> </p><p>Luke clearly knew that given the panicked look on his face. Unfortunately he didn’t seem to have enough sense to do anything about it. </p><p> </p><p>“Hide!” Julie half whispered in his direction which seemed to do the trick. </p><p> </p><p>He relinquished his hold on Bobby’s neck and sprinted for the bathroom, managing to trip twice on the way. Julie cringed but breathed a sigh of relief once he was inside with the door closed.</p><p> </p><p>This entire exchange happened in just a few seconds but it had felt like an eternity.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, come in,” Bobby finally responded to his mom.</p><p> </p><p>The woman opened the garage doors and stepped inside giving Julie her first proper look at her. She looked a lot like Bobby. She had dark hair, oversized glasses and kind eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Mom, we agreed this is my space,” Bobby reminded her. “For my friends and I.”</p><p> </p><p>She held up her hands in surrender.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know. And I respect your privacy. But you told me to tell you right away if you got a phone call.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who is it?” Alex asked eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s mom frowned, probably not sure why the rest of them looked so interested in a phone call for Bobby.</p><p> </p><p>“Um...she had a strange name...Queenie something?”</p><p> </p><p>“Queenie Hart?” Bobby demanded disbelievingly. “Not her assistant?”</p><p> </p><p>His mom looked well and truly confused at this point. </p><p> </p><p>“She sounds like a teenager, why would she have an assistant? Anyway, no she said her name was Queenie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!” Reggie clapped his hands excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, do you want to come talk to her? The cordless doesn’t work this far away or I would have brought it to you.”</p><p> </p><p>That seemed to snap Bobby out of his surprised stupor. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, uh, I guess I’ll just go...talk to her. Yeah, I’ll just do that. I can do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok…” His poor mother was probably psychoanalyzing them all at the moment and struggling not to voice her opinions for fear of alienating her son. “Well, I left it on the porch for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby practically ran out of the garage and up toward the house which Julie was sure they would all have laughed at under different circumstances where they weren’t equally excited. She could only imagine what Luke was feeling in the bathroom right now.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s mom seemed to notice Julie at that moment, smiling and stepping forward to offer her hand for a handshake. </p><p> </p><p>“You must be Julie. I’m Bobby’s mom but you can call me Jackie.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled and shook her hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby’s told me so much about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Has he?” Julie could feel her eyebrows shooting to the top of her forehead. How much was there to tell?</p><p> </p><p>“Well, just that you’re a very nice girl with a beautiful voice.” Jackie clarified. “But I’m glad to meet you. Music means so much to Bobby and after his friend Luke ran away I was worried it would be too hard for him to stick with it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh yeah, that must have been tough,” Julie managed to stutter out.</p><p> </p><p>“I just hope he’s ok wherever he is now, sweet dear,” Jackie sighed. “His poor parents. I can’t imagine…”</p><p> </p><p>She seemed to catch herself and shook her head before speaking again. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it was nice to meet you, Julie. Please stop by for dinner sometime.” She looked at the boys. “That goes for you two as well.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Definitely,” Alex agreed. </p><p> </p><p>Jacki left the garage and as soon as she was out of earshot both boys immediately continued.</p><p> </p><p>“We are never going to Bobby’s for dinner,” Reggie started.</p><p> </p><p>“Not a chance,” Alex agreed again. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything’s good for you,” Reggie continued. “Which is surprising given the amount of snacks and soda he has hidden in his room.”</p><p> </p><p>“A lot of their meals are green,” Alex pointed out. “And one time there was something blue which shouldn’t even be a thing but somehow they…”</p><p> </p><p>Luke chose that moment to burst out of the bathroom so thankfully Julie never got a more thorough description of whatever questionable food Alex was preparing to explain. </p><p> </p><p>“We did it!” Luke practically sang. “She called herself because she’s just that psyched about us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew she wou...whoa!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s words were lost in a breathless giggle as Luke crossed the garage and scooped her up into a hug that quickly lifted her feet off of the ground. He spun her around in an excited circle before depositing her back on the ground, steadying her with his arms as she stumbled dizzily.</p><p> </p><p>“You did it,” Julie said softly once her vision had cleared enough to allow her eyes to meet his.</p><p> </p><p>“We did it,” He insisted equally softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, thanks, we, your oldest friends and seniority having bandmates, are pretty excited about it too,” Alex said dryly, breaking the spell Julie and Luke had allowed them to slip under briefly.</p><p> </p><p>Luke laughed and held his arms out wide before closing the distance between him and his friends to pull them into a crushing hug.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie poked his head out of the clump of happy boy and smiled at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie! Come!”</p><p> </p><p>They parted to make room for her, just like they had made room for her in their lives, and she stepped gratefully into the circle of their arms. They started bouncing around in joy like she imagined they would have after playing the Orpheum if things had gone differently. She was so confused and scared all the time since she ended up in the past but she couldn’t be anything but grateful for a second chance at this moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Celebrating a little early, aren’t we?” </p><p> </p><p>They all turned at the sound of Bobby’s voice though they didn’t loosen their hold on each other.</p><p> </p><p>“What did she say?” Reggie demanded eagerly. “No, don’t tell me unless it’s all good. Ok, tell me. No don’t..”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going in tomorrow to meet with Queenie and her dad,” Bobby interrupted with a grin. “They want to discuss our future with the label. We did it!”</p><p> </p><p>“We did it!” Alex echoed.</p><p> </p><p>“We did it!” Reggie joined in, hopping a little in place.</p><p> </p><p>“Hell yeah, we did it,” Luke grinned. “All of us. Get in here, Bobby.”</p><p> </p><p>The other boy rolled his eyes but he wasn’t fooling anyone. He was happy about the invitation. </p><p> </p><p>He crossed the garage and wedged himself between Luke and Alex, joining in as they once again jumped in an elated circle.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Luke and Bobby would be alright after all. Julie sure hoped so. She really didn’t want to have to add anything else to her already intimidating list of things to fix before she hopefully finished her “unfinished business” and made it home.</p><p> </p><p>She still had plenty to tackle on her list though. Which is why once the excitement had worn off a little and she managed to get a moment alone with Alex she thought she should tackle him next. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie and Bobby had gone into the house in search of some of Bobby’s contraband snacks and Luke was inside digging through his bag of clothes looking for something he could wear to the label the next day. Julie just hoped it had sleeves but she wasn’t holding her breath.</p><p> </p><p>She and Alex were leaning against the wall across from the garage, enjoying the fresh air when she got the courage to speak up.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Alex I’ve actually been wanting to ask you about something since the other night,” She started carefully.</p><p> </p><p>In 2020 Alex was someone she always knew she could go to for an honest conversation full of support and surprisingly good advice but she didn’t want to freak this version of him out. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily he nodded as soon as she spoke, reaching up to adjust his backwards hat before answering. </p><p> </p><p>“Honestly, I’ve been waiting for you to bring this up,” He said knowingly.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that was a relief.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh good, cause I just wanted to ask what the deal was with…”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke and Jennifer.”</p><p> </p><p>“You and your parents...wait...what?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes and widened as they spoke at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“You wanted to ask about me and my parents?” Alex frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, just yeah, you said they would assume you were up to no good the other night and...why would I ask you about Luke and Jennifer?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex gave her a pointed look and Julie sighed. So there wasn’t much point in lying to 1995 Alex about matters of the heart either.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I might have been mildly curious. But I wasn’t going to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“They were never a thing,” Alex supplied. “Not really.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what he said,” Julie admitted.</p><p> </p><p>“So you did talk about her,” Alex smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“No! Just…” Julie sighed again, figuring her dignity was well and truly shot at this point so she might as well go for it. “Well, are you going to tell me or not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok. I’ll put you out of your misery. You have to understand we were 15. We were just starting to get some traction in the club scene and by that I mean convinced a couple of clubs to let us play at 2am when everyone is drunk and not paying attention. But still.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. She knew this part of the story. </p><p> </p><p>“LA is big but the music scene can seem kind of small. You end up seeing a lot of the same people a lot. Jennifer’s a singer, she was playing a lot of the same places, and since we were the same age we got friendly. Well, sort of. All she ever wanted to talk about was the music.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like someone else we know,” Julie said with a half smile which Alex returned.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. He was kind of in awe of her, not her personality or her looks, her music. The way it was her everything. And he really was obsessed with her songs. They were good, really good.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. She forced herself not to say anything and let Alex continue.</p><p> </p><p>“He got it into his head that he liked her but they never even talked much. He just followed her around telling her how talented she was and she loved that. Then one day she asked him to write her a song.”</p><p> </p><p>Ok, it was getting harder for Julie to stay quiet but she bit her lip and managed it.</p><p> </p><p>“He worked on it for weeks and when we had our demos pressed he put the song on it as a surprise for her.”</p><p> </p><p>“In Your Starlight,” Julie supplied.</p><p> </p><p>Alex nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he played it for her and her reaction wasn’t exactly what he expected. Apparently she had meant she wanted him to write a song for her to perform. Turns out she didn’t actually write her own songs.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie let that information sink in. </p><p> </p><p>Alex had said it like it should mean something to her but she wasn’t sure what. </p><p> </p><p>Alex turned to face her more fully.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, she was never really interested in him other than what he could do for her. But what I’m trying to say is he was never really interested in her either even though he thought he was. He was in love with her songs, not her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie knew she sounded like a broken record but it was a lot to take in. </p><p> </p><p>“So basically he had a crush on some guy named Brendan who wrote songs for $50 a pop in his basement,” Alex joked. “He got over it pretty quickly after that. Obviously.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head doubtfully. </p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t seem very over it the other night.”</p><p> </p><p>“That wasn’t about him liking her,” Alex insisted. “It’s about the song. We couldn’t exactly take it off the demos we had already made and besides Luke wasn’t going to let a good song go to waste. You know how he is. So we kept it. But when she showed up the other night it was a reminder of the one time he didn’t put the music first. He didn’t want her thinking we still play it for any other reason than it’s a great song.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess that makes sense,” Julie said slowly. “So you’re saying he’s what...embarrassed? Not heartbroken?” </p><p> </p><p>“Not heartbroken,” Alex said firmly. “Luke can forgive people for a lot of things but lying about their music? No way.”</p><p> </p><p>“So it’s been just him and his music ever since,” Julie observed, glancing back at the garage where she knew Luke was though she couldn’t see him through the closed doors. </p><p> </p><p>“Until recently.”</p><p> </p><p>She turned her head so fast to look back at Alex she almost gave herself whiplash. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head with a smile as he started back towards the garage, turning to walk backwards and shoot his parting comment at her like an arrow to the heart. </p><p> </p><p>“If I have to explain that one to you, you’re as hopeless as he is.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex turned again and headed into the garage leaving Julie with the realization that she was somehow in deeper trouble than even she had realized.</p><p> </p><p>There was nothing about what Alex had said that could be construed as good news given her situation. </p><p> </p><p>So why did her heart soar at the implication? </p><p> </p><p>She sighed before following Alex.</p><p> </p><p>“I really must be crazy.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alex is once again a real one. May we all have an Alex in our lives!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chases and choices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don’t know if this will be what you guys were wanting/expecting out of this chapter but like...I kind of love it! Multiple chapters in a row I really like. This is the best! </p><p>I keep forgetting to put in the note but Luke is loosely representing the Cheshire Cat. </p><p>This is a passage from the book:</p><p>“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”<br/> “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. <br/>“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.<br/> “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. <br/>“—so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.<br/> “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”<br/>...<br/>“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice. <br/>“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”</p><p>Sound familiar? 🙃</p><p>Ok, I can’t wait to see how you guys react to this one!! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What do you mean you’re not coming?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie cringed at the harsh surprise in Luke’s voice. He somehow managed to sound frustrated, hurt and confused all at the same time. It cut right through her plan to announce her intentions with a brisk and casual confidence. Deep down she had known that the rest of the band, Luke in particular, wouldn’t be on board with her plan to stay behind when they went to the meeting. It was both unsurprising and completely baffling. They had been working towards this for so long as a group of four and she had only poofed into their lives a few weeks ago. It would make more sense for them to see the logic in her decision, to accept her well wishes and go claim the dream they’d earned through years of sweat and hard work before they ever knew her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That would make more sense. Whatever that meant in a world turned so topsy turvy she could barely tell which way was up anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she still wasn’t actually surprised. Because her boys were all heart. And somehow, despite her best efforts (and Luke’s at the start) she had earned her place there. That was endearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was also incredibly inconvenient.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re scouting Sunset Curve,” Julie answered in a purposefully casual tone. “So the members of Sunset Curve are the ones who should go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, which includes you,” Luke argued, stepping forward as he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Temporarily,” Julie corrected. “Temporary members don’t sign record deals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked like he wanted to say something more but instead he just shook his head and spun on his heels, scuffing his foot against the ground as he gave himself a minute, probably  to keep himself from saying something he regretted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie chose that moment to speak up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you should come, Julie. Are you just being modest? Blink twice if you want us to kidnap you and carry you to the van.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok…” Alex broke in, shooting Reggie an exasperated look. “That’s not...ok. Look, Julie as much as it pains me to agree with these idiots, I think you should come too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie let out a huff of air in frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too, Alex?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex shrugged so Julie turned to Bobby hoping for reinforcements.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobby? A little help?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who said you were temporary,” Bobby pointed out, a slight smile on his face as he observed her growing annoyance. “We voted you in. Today is for all of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had never been so grateful and so angry at the same time. Couldn’t they just make this even slightly easy for her? Apparently not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” She said softly but firmly, hoping they could tell she really meant it. “But I just don’t think I can go in with you. You should stand on your own. But I’ll ride with you and wait in the van if you want. For moral support.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, if that’s what you want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex was the first to accept her plan which didn’t surprise her. He was by far the most likely to understand when you should take someone’s answer as final and when you should push. And he was really good at pushing. But he seemed to know that this wasn’t one of those times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need all the support we can get,” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Queenie Hart and her dad? They’re both supposed to be ready to take your head off just like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snapped his fingers and Reggie drew his hand across his neck dramatically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, she’s been nothing but cool to us,” Bobby insisted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I get that she’s like your strangely specific ideal type with her “I hang out in malls quoting famous literature” vibes, but try to keep the drool to a minimum today,” Alex warned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...I want to be offended but that’s pretty accurate,” Bobby admitted with a sigh. “She’s so hot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced over at Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why exactly would I be offended by that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Bobby thinks he’s the universe’s gift to women and you’re not his type,” Luke grumbled. “Thank God.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why “thank god”, Luke?” Alex asked, one eyebrow raised and a smirk making its way onto his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because she’s way too good for him,” Luke said as though it should have been obvious. “So is Queenie probably but she’s not our problem so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie frowned at his choice of words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you implying that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>your problem?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You would be less of a problem if you would just come to this meeting with us,” He said insistently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we just going to brush past all of my closest friends casually saying I’m not good enough for multiple girls because I would like to revisit that topic and lodge a formal complaint,” Bobby said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just for the record, Julie, you’re totally hot,” Reggie offered with a smile and a wiggle of his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Luke protested, shooting a glare at his friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In a totally just observing a fact sort of way,” Reggie held up his hands in surrender. “No need for the possessive vibes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not…” Luke glanced over at Julie and then away again. “Yeah, right. Whatever, just don’t talk about her like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still waiting for an apology,” Bobby chimed in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t hold your breath,” Luke muttered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, remember that time we had a contest in the pool to see who could stay under the longest and Bobby almost passed out and had to be pulled out Baywatch style?” Reggie laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex buried his head in his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t blame him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were headache inducing when they got like this. Entertaining sometimes, yes. But definitely headache inducing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you going to be late?” Julie spoke up which seemed to do the trick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we really have to go if we want to make it on time,” Bobby agreed. “Queenie said…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Early is on time and on time is late,” Luke echoed, rolling his eyes. “You said. Ok, ok. Band circle?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They gathered up and Julie joined them after they shot her an expectant look. She took the opportunity to take in their appearance, each of them having put more thought than they probably wanted to admit into what to wear for the big occasion. In the end most of them had gone with some version of their normal day to day uniform, figuring authenticity would get them farther than fancy would. Alex wore his pink hoodie and a backwards hat, Reggie had his flannel tied around his waist with his favorite leather jacket on top. Bobby had put in the most effort with a grey button up shirt worn open over a plain white t-shirt. In the end Luke had gone with his sleeveless Queen shirt, insisting that the cut offs were his lucky charm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve worked for this for a long time,” Luke said, his arms slung over Alex and Bobby’s shoulders. Reggie reached out to link his arm with Julie’s. They all looked around the circle shooting each other hopeful smiles. “And I just want to say no matter what happens I’m proud of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awww, Luke,” Reggie sniffled a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s impressively mature of you,” Bobby admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That being said this is our now or never moment for real so nobody screw this up for us, got it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok...see you kinda just undercut the feel good message there just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little </span>
  </em>
  <span>bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie giggled. She couldn’t help it. She may have just told them she couldn’t go with them but on the inside she felt like a member of the band. And she didn’t want to think about what it would be like when she didn’t have their ridiculous banter to keep her exasperated and amused in equal measures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke rolled his eyes but it was with a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Legends on three,” He said, putting his hand into the middle of the circle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They counted off and raised their hands as they shouted it in unison. They broke the circle afterwards, making their way to the van with quick, nervous steps. She could clearly see how anxious the guys were and if she was being honest she didn’t feel much better. Honestly, waiting outside while they had the most important conversation of their lives was going to be torture. It beat the alternative of possibly destroying their futures unintentionally though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a quick game to determine seating arrangements, which Julie was once again excluded from, Bobby and Luke piled into the back and the other three climbed into the front seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch! Get off my foot, dude!” Luke snapped from somewhere behind Julie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, if you didn’t have the biggest feet in the world that would be easier!” Bobby snapped back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie leaned over to Alex who was driving and whispered her concerns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we sure they should be back there together?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head with a smirk as he eased out onto the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, it’s probably the best thing that could have happened. There’s nothing those two love more than bickering with each other. It will keep them distracted from the nerves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie for his part was toying with the radio dial, sitting back in satisfaction once it landed on a Mariah Carey song.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you go, Julie,” He said proudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Reggie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had such a rush of affection for him in that moment it almost overwhelmed her. For all of them really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From teddy bears and cupcakes to songs on the radio. From helping her earn back her place in her music program to pretending to cross over to try to save her from hurt. They were always taking care of her. And her family was amazing and Flynn was incredible and she knew she had so much waiting for her back in 2020. But it had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>so long</span>
  </em>
  <span>...since her </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mom</span>
  </em>
  <span> that she had truly felt taken care of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie leaned over and rested her head on Reggie’s shoulder, suddenly blinking back tears she didn’t have a good explanation for if he asked her about them. Luckily, Reggie was as sweet and intuitive as ever. He only smiled and leaned his head down to rest on top of hers. Alex glanced over at them and smiled softly before reaching down to pat her knee affectionately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke must have been able to see at least some of this going on since his view wasn’t obscured by the usual drums and other instruments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys cuddling up there without me?” He grumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here, we can cuddle too,” Bobby offered in a baby voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even think about it!” Luke warned before sounds of a scuffle floated up to the front seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie chuckled and shook her head against Reggie’s shoulder. Alex was right. A distraction was probably exactly what they all needed. She spent the rest of the drive taking comfort in Reggie’s closeness and the sounds of all of the boys bantering back and forth. She listened to the radio, annoying ads and all, and let herself drift into a blissfully blank headspace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then they were there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex parked on the side of the street and the boys piled out one by one. Julie had wished them luck and sent up a silent prayer and was prepared to watch them walk away and do this on their own. Luke had other ideas. He appeared at her window, motioning for her to roll it down. She did so, proud that this time she managed it much more smoothly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She matched his soft tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Luke asked, searching her face for doubts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded not trusting herself to speak for a moment. Of course she </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to come. Once she felt strong in her decision again she answered him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure. You don’t need me. You guys are going to rock it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, obviously,” He joked, that accent of his coming out full force and unleashing a legion of butterflies in her stomach. “But hey, if you change your mind...your name’s on the list so just...yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke! We’re going to be late!” Bobby called out from a little ways down the sidewalk where the rest of the guys were gathered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!” He called back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got this,” Julie told him firmly, reaching out to grip his hand for a split second before pulling hers back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke hesitated for another moment looking like he definitely had more to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright!” He huffed, shooting her one last parting look she couldn’t quite read before pushing back from the van and jogging over to the rest of the band. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he was gone Julie sank back against the van seat with a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That boy should be registered somewhere as some kind of biological weapon because he had a tendency to set her hormones off in a truly unhealthy way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had been sitting there staring idly out of the window for a few minutes when suddenly something in the side mirror caught her eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A bright white helmet. Long brown hair. Someone whizzing by on a skateboard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She scrambled out of the van and slammed the door shut behind her, searching the sidewalk in the direction she had seen the familiar boy skating off. She spotted his helmet further down the street and gave chase, taking off down the sidewalk, dodging people as she went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Willie! Hey, stop!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed as though everyone she passed was paying attention to her frantic shouting </span>
  <em>
    <span>except </span>
  </em>
  <span>for the boy she was chasing. He skated on as though he couldn’t hear her at all. Or like he was choosing to ignore her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he reached the building at the end of the street and popped his skateboard up into his hands before ducking inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you now,” Julie gasped out, winded but hopeful as she reached the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was just about to rush inside when the sign outside caught her eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had a large red rose painted on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No freaking way,” She groaned disbelievingly as she read the sign. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Red Rose Records </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated for another moment but ultimately decided she had to know what was up with Willie. She had spent a lot of time thinking about it over the last few weeks and it wasn’t lost on her that every time she had seen him she had ended up exactly where she was meant to be or at least somewhere that had led to her being able to survive another day in the past. Usually somewhere that meant something good for the guys as well. It could be a coincidence but she was seriously starting to doubt those existed anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willie had said ghosts never came back if they went into the portal. Maybe he was stuck like her. Or maybe it wasn’t Willie at all but some kind of sign like the ones her mom might have sent her. She had to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her decision made, Julie burst into the building glancing around the lobby in vain for the skateboarder she was looking for. She didn’t see him. What she did see was a super fancy lobby with lots of plush red furniture scattered around, security stationed near the elevators and a desk with a rose embossed into the front with a fashionable looking woman seated behind it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie jogged over to the desk and did her best to catch her breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, did you see a guy with a skateboard come through here? White helmet? Long brown hair?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman examined Julie curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope, didn’t see him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, thanks anyway.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She started to turn away but the woman called after her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was in here the other day though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie whipped around and approached the desk quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded towards the wall behind her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the little rebel stickered us. And they must have some kind of turbo glue on them because they haven’t been able to get it off yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie’s eyes darted to the wall behind the desk and sure enough there was a white rabbit sticker. Just like there had been on the dumpster when she first arrived in 1995. Just like there had been on the bench she was sleeping on when Reggie found her. Just like there had been on the outside of the taco shop where her mom worked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just like they had popped up every time she needed a nudge in the direction she needed to go to find the guys and help them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or they were leading her deeper and deeper into their lives in an effort to trick her into getting lost forever in the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she had no one to ask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She just had to choose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” Julie muttered under her breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much for patting herself on the back for staying out of their lives for once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” The woman was looking at Julie like she was truly crazy. “Can I help you with anything else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe she was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually I should be on your list,” Julie said, shaking her head even as she made her decision. “I’m supposed to be in a meeting with my band.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Her band!!! 🥺</p><p>So moving and TERRIBLY CONCERNING all at once lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Into the Looking Glass</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It’s 2am and I just accidentally added this chapter to the wrong story. Things are going well lol. 🙃</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke drummed his fingers on the fancy wooden table in the label conference room, subconsciously trying to get out both his nerves and worries as they waited for Queenie’s dad. The setting wasn’t exactly helping him relax. He wasn’t sure what he had pictured but this definitely wasn’t it. The room’s decor leaned more towards a palace than a record label. Besides the fancy table there was a red plush couch along one wall and a golden chandelier suspended from the center of the ceiling. He guessed if you were as loaded as this family you eventually ran out of things to spend your money on and started filling the world with gaudy furniture. Anyway. It was a far cry from Bobby’s garage.</p><p> </p><p>He was ripped from his thoughts when Bobby reached over and slapped his hand over Luke’s, abruptly stopping his tapping. His first instinct was to be annoyed but a quick glance around the room showed that Queenie had been watching him tap with an unimpressed expression so maybe Bobby was doing him a favor. It probably wasn’t a good idea to have the person responsible for your whole future thinking you were bored in their presence.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t bored. </p><p> </p><p>He was just thrown off which was just as bad.</p><p> </p><p>He had been visualizing this moment for so long. What it would feel like. What he would say. All the ways he would convince them that he and his boys were ready for greatness. The problem was now that the moment had actually come he didn’t feel ready. He felt like he...they were missing something. And he knew exactly what that something was. </p><p> </p><p>Julie.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t that he didn’t want it without her. Of course he wanted it either way. This was his dream. His only dream. And he believed in his friends and he believed in their band and all they had accomplished together. They had earned this and they could do it. He truly believed that. </p><p> </p><p>It was just that he wanted it more when he thought of getting to have it with her. </p><p> </p><p>It was strange. He hadn’t really known her that long. He had spent the first week or so of that time hating her, or at least convincing himself he did. He had his doubts about that now. But he was as sure she was a kindred spirit as he was sure of anything. They were so different. He was all energy, bouncing from one thing to the next while she was practically a wave of calm in his life. He was quick to anger and quick to regret, she put up with more than she should but could hold out for the apology she deserved when she wanted to. He had somehow managed to tell her just about his whole life story without realizing it and she barely let anything real about herself slip. And yet he knew that deep down they were the same in a way he had never connected with anyone else. He couldn’t explain it. He could just feel it when they wrote together and hear it when they sang in harmony. That connection he was always talking the boys’ ears off about? He felt it when he looked at her. They were the same. And they could make each other better.</p><p> </p><p>So why was she so determined to keep him...them...at an arm’s length? </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Queenie said suddenly, lips pursing as she saw something from across the table. “I was under the impression that you weren’t coming.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke and the other guys' heads swiveled instantly to see who she was talking to and there in the doorway was the girl he had just been thinking about.</p><p> </p><p>Julie. </p><p> </p><p>She came. She changed her mind. They could still do this. Together.</p><p> </p><p>He felt a grin stretch across his face as he took her in, hovering in the doorway, biting her lip in apparent nerves. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie!” Reggie exclaimed excitedly. “You changed your mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I…” She started before shaking her head and starting again. “I mean yes. I just...thought I should be here to uh...hear what they have to say.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke hopped up from his seat and dragged one of the heavy, wheeled chairs from further down the table next to his and guided her into it. She gave him a small, grateful smile. It was a huge chair and she looked incredibly small in it, like she had shrunk down to a fifth of her usual size. It would have been funny if her face hadn’t had a vague air of panic about it like she was considering getting up and running back out of the room. </p><p> </p><p>Without thinking about it he reached out to squeeze her hand where it rested on her knee under the table, wondering for a moment if he had overstepped until she flipped her hand over and gripped his tightly in return. It only lasted a couple of seconds but it was enough to send his heartbeat into overdrive. It was probably a good thing that she released it quickly so that he could focus but he couldn’t help but regret it anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Still, he felt like his head had properly cleared for the first time since he had walked away leaving her sitting in Beatrice. Now he could fully enjoy this moment and make the most of the opportunity. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m still only a temporary member,” Julie spoke up, directing her comments at Queenie. “Until Luke’s arm heals. I’m mostly here as moral support.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie raised one eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Moral support for a corporate meeting? That’s a new one.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke bristled at her tone. It wasn’t outright rude but it was right on the borderline. The thing was he knew that in reality the girl across from them was right. This wasn’t the kind of thing you showed up to unless you were directly involved. But with any luck Julie would be directly involved. She just needed a little more convincing. </p><p> </p><p>He was about to speak up and say that as far as they were concerned Julie was a full fledged member of the band when someone else entered the room and spoke up first.</p><p> </p><p>“New is good, Queenie. It keeps us on our toes.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie instantly sat up straighter as her father, the legendary Dec Hart entered the room. Luke couldn’t blame her. He might be her father but he was also the record executive who had launched more careers than anyone else in the last decade. He was notorious for his high standards and his great results. And now with any luck he was going to send Sunset Curve into the stratosphere of success and musical glory. </p><p> </p><p>Dec sat down next to Queenie and gave her an expectant look.</p><p> </p><p>“Daddy, this is Sunset Curve...plus one,” She glanced at Julie again. “They’re the band I’ve been telling you about. They have something special.”</p><p> </p><p>Dec nodded agreeably though there was something shrewd behind his gaze as it swept along the assembled bandmates across from him. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Queenie here tells me you’ve got a forward thinking sound. Melodic but still firmly rock. Your lyrics in particular earned rave reviews.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, that means a lot.” </p><p> </p><p>Dec turned his attention to Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“And you, young lady. I’m told you have quite a voice and stage presence to boot.” </p><p> </p><p>“She’s amazing,” Alex chimed in supportively, earning him a thankful glance from Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s really nice of you to say,” Julie answered. “But like I said, I’m just helping out while Luke heals up. Sunset Curve doesn’t need me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No offense, but you don’t come in here and tell us what a band does or doesn’t need,” Queenie said. “That’s not really how it works.”</p><p> </p><p>Dec held up a hand and Queenie instantly stopped talking, looking a little hurt that her father had cut her off but definitely not prepared to defy him. </p><p> </p><p>He folded his arms and leaned forward, looking between Julie and the boys.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s cut to the chase shall we? I don’t want you boys worrying that any deal you make with Red Rose Records is contingent on Julie here signing up too. I hope it won’t surprise you to know that we do our research around here. Turns out your band was on our radar for a while, we even had one of our lower level managers scheduled to attend your showcase that was canceled at the last minute. That coupled with Queenie’s seal of approval is good enough for me.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke saw Bobby breathe a sigh of relief out of the corner of his eye and it brought a rush of annoyance roaring through him. He got it on a logical level. But they shouldn’t be thinking of ways they could do this without her. They should be thinking of ways for her to do what he knew she wanted to do deep down anyway and join the band for real. </p><p> </p><p>“But I won’t pretend we wouldn’t prefer to have our cake and eat it too. Queenie said the real magic started when you two let loose on stage.” </p><p> </p><p>He nodded at Luke and Julie. </p><p> </p><p>Luke couldn’t disagree with that. He had certainly felt it. </p><p> </p><p>“So here’s what I propose. We want to put on a little showcase for you this weekend so my team and I can see what you can do in person. If all goes well we’re prepared to sign you boys officially. As for you Julie, keep playing with the boys while Luke here heals up. When his cast comes off we’ll revisit the issue of your role in the band. If you truly wish to stay out of the music industry that’s fair. All we ask is that you don’t sign with someone else out from under us. If that were to happen I’m afraid the boys’ contracts would be null and void too.” </p><p> </p><p>Now it was Julie’s turn to let out a sigh of relief. Luke wasn’t sure how to interpret that. Was she relieved that she could turn down the offer without ruining things for the rest of them? Or was she relieved to have more time to think things through? He hoped it was the latter. Either way it was good news. It meant he had time to convince her of what he already knew. She was meant to be with them. In the band. He definitely meant in the band. </p><p> </p><p>He felt excitement bubbling up within him. This was really happening. Everything he had ever wanted was just within his reach if he could just stretch out a little further and grab it.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what do you say?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Luke realized he’d spoken up a little quickly and loudly, glancing at his friends for confirmation.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily they looked as excited as he did, a chorus of yes’s ringing out. Julie was the last but she nodded firmly and then it was done.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m sure you can understand I keep pretty busy around here, so I’ll take my leave,” Dec stood and clapped his hands together for emphasis. “Queenie will arrange all the details for your showcase. Looking forward to it!” </p><p> </p><p>Then he was gone and there was a moment of silence as they all took in what had just transpired.</p><p> </p><p>“Did that just happen?” Alex asked finally, his voice shaky. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Totally just happened.” </p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure who started it but they were all up after that, jumping around the room and pulling each other into various hugs and shaking each other in joyous disbelief. Julie tried to hang back for a few seconds but soon a blissful smile broke over her face and then she was in there with the rest of them. Luke caught her eye at one point over Reggie’s shoulder and they shared a look that said a lot more than any of the actual conversations they’d had so far that day. </p><p> </p><p>It said...I’m proud of you.</p><p> </p><p>It said...I knew you could do it.</p><p> </p><p>It said...something else he couldn’t quite make out. </p><p> </p><p>But that was ok. </p><p> </p><p>They had time for him to figure it out.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Eventually the band made it downstairs and outside of the label, their excited chatter and bouncing steps earning them knowing looks from everyone in the lobby. Maybe their noise level was frowned upon but everyone in that place knew that dreams were made or broken in the rooms upstairs. It was probably a treat for them when they saw people come down vibrating with joyful energy rather than slumping by with shattered spirits. </p><p> </p><p>They gathered on the sidewalk outside, Julie feeling a rush of relief as the guys discussed what they should do to celebrate. When she had taken that elevator upstairs earlier she had so many fears about what it could mean walking into that meeting. In the end though it seemed as though nothing bad had come of it. If anything her presence has helped solidify the interest in the band without locking her into an agreement she couldn’t keep. Her signing with another label obviously wasn’t happening so the boys’ contracts should be safe once they signed them. She could just run out the clock on their interest in her by agreeing to help out until Luke’s arm was healed. </p><p> </p><p>After all, with any luck she’d be home by then. </p><p> </p><p>And if that thought didn’t fill her with the rush of happiness that it should have she brushed it off.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, she needed to figure out what was going on with the maybe Willie and she needed to keep working on her unfinished business so she could get home. But surely today had been a step in the right direction? Didn’t she deserve one night to celebrate with her friends?</p><p> </p><p>The guys seemed to have the same idea just not the funds.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on Bobby, loosen the purse strings,” Alex insisted. “It’s a big day!” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, without Luke’s daily busking we are running dangerously low,” Bobby countered. “If we waste any tonight Luke and Julie aren’t eating next week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lucky tonight’s festivities are on me then.”</p><p> </p><p>They turned to face the person that had just announced herself behind them.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie stood there, one hand on her hip, short red dress more visible than it had been when she had been sitting in the conference room. There was a grin on her face as she approached the group.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, I know just the place,” She informed them, flipping her long hair over her shoulder. “Should I call for a car?”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the group exchanged glances, Bobby looking unsurprisingly enthusiastic and the rest looking cautiously excited. For her part Julie was divided on the idea. Queenie could be rude but she also seemed relatively straightforward and she had genuinely helped the band based on her seeming belief in their talent. Julie was never going to forget what the girl in front of her had done to her mom but tonight wasn’t about her. The guys had done so much for her lately. The least she could do was shut up and let them enjoy a well earned night of fun. </p><p> </p><p>Luke finally spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, we have our van.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie expected Queenie to turn up her nose at the suggestion that she ride in anything less than a limo or an expensive foreign car but she turned out to be full of surprises. </p><p> </p><p>“Works for me, lead the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby rushed to walk next to the older girl as they made their way down the sidewalk. Luke fell into step next to Julie while Reggie and Alex brought up the rear. </p><p> </p><p>“What made you change your mind?” Luke asked happily.</p><p> </p><p>Julie tried to maintain a neutral expression but it was a losing battle when she could feel his infectious excitement rolling off of him in waves.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t change my mind,” She insisted. “I just wanted to show my support.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I feel supported,” Luke answered with a smug grin. </p><p> </p><p>Julie rolled her eyes. She could feel herself being made fun of a mile off.</p><p> </p><p>“Super supported,” Alex piped up from behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“The supportiest support ever!” Reggie added.</p><p> </p><p>They continued to find ways to exaggerate her supportiveness until they reached the van, only Bobby too wrapped up in conversation with Queenie to join in. </p><p> </p><p>“Well...this is something,” Queenie observed when she got her first look at the van. “Remind me to get transportation upgrades included in your contract.”</p><p> </p><p>“Beatrice is good enough for us,” Luke insisted, tapping the hood for emphasis.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not my van’s name,” Bobby snapped at Luke before turning to Queenie. “Definitely not my van’s name.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it’s kind of sweet in a shabby chic kind of way,” She said, climbing into the front seat without waiting to be invited in. “Let me know if you need inspiration when you’re naming your next one.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby ran for the driver’s seat and Luke sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“You sit up front, Julie. The three of us will sit in the back.” </p><p> </p><p>He nodded towards Alex and Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s way past my turn to sit in the back,” Julie insisted. </p><p> </p><p>They seemed posed to protest but Julie had already moved to the back of the van and wrenched it open so they must have decided it wasn’t worth it to argue with her. In the end Reggie sat up front and Luke and Alex piled into the back with her. They set off and it was mostly Queenie’s chatter and Bobby’s responses that formed the soundtrack of their drive. </p><p> </p><p>At one point Bobby must have been distracted because he almost missed a stoplight, slamming on his brakes and sending Julie sliding into Luke’s side. He caught her mid-slide and steadied her even as he yelled up at his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, watch the road! You almost killed Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Slightly dramatic, but ok,” Alex observed with a smirk. </p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” Luke asked her, his good arm still gripping her shoulder as he gave her a quick once over looking for injuries. </p><p> </p><p>Julie swallowed hard. He really shouldn’t look at her like that. It wasn’t playing fair.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...uh...I’m good. Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re here!” Queenie called excitedly from the front seat as Bobby parked. </p><p> </p><p>Luke released his hold on her and Julie offered him a shaky smile as they all piled out of the van to take in their destination. </p><p> </p><p>A glowing neon sign reading The Looking Glass immediately caught her attention. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” Julie approached Queenie. “Isn’t this a bar? We’re all underage. You too right?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie rolled her eyes and patted Julie patronizingly on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s cute that you think they’ll card me. Being famous has some perks,” She directed her attention to the boys. “You guys had better get used to it!” </p><p> </p><p>She strode confidently towards the entrance leaving the rest of the trailing behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, we don’t have to go in if you don’t want to,” Luke popped up at her shoulder, shooting her a questioning look. “We can go somewhere else.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Julie shook her head. “Don’t worry about me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do though,” He frowned as though he hadn’t meant to say that. </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she bumped his shoulder with hers.</p><p> </p><p>“Hard to believe you wanted to throw me out on the street not too long ago,” She teased.</p><p> </p><p>He cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“Not my best moment.”</p><p> </p><p>She figured she should let him off the hook. </p><p> </p><p>“You made up for it. A few times.” </p><p> </p><p>He looked like he wanted to respond to that but they had reached the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Lewis!” Queenie greeted the man at the door with familiarity. </p><p> </p><p>“Queenie!” He responded with affection. “You picked a great night to bring your friends. It’s karaoke night.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie clapped excitedly. </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect!” </p><p> </p><p>They followed her inside and slid into a large booth in one of the corners where Julie had a good view of the entire place. It was bustling but not so packed with people that it felt overwhelming. There was a bar across the room where men in black t-shirts were serving drinks. There was a small stage off to the side where a couple was currently belting out a song she wasn’t familiar with in an off key but enthusiastic fashion. The entire room was awash in blue light that gave it a moody, slightly otherworldly appearance. </p><p> </p><p>She knew her dad would kill her if he knew she was in a bar but she had to admit she felt a rush of excitement as she took in her surroundings. Besides she felt safe with the guys. They wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie and Bobby must have disappeared while she was busy looking around because they were suddenly back, carrying several small glasses each full of unknown liquid. They put them down on the table and slid back into the booth, Queenie reaching out to grab one of the glasses immediately.</p><p> </p><p>“Time for a toast to the start of your new lives boys!” She announced giddily, waiting for them each to pick up a glass which they did.</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached for one too only to have Luke’s hand slam down to block her trajectory.</p><p> </p><p>“No way,” He insisted. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Julie asked indignantly. “Everyone else is having one.”</p><p> </p><p>“You just turned 16,” He argued. </p><p> </p><p>“And you’re 17, what’s your point?” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Last I heard the drinking age was still 21 so you’re not one to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke turned to the rest of the table with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys? A little help here?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just one,” Reggie seemed torn but ultimately on her side. “And we’ll take care of her.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, maybe cut out the caveman act,” Alex added. “Julie it’s up to you. No peer pressure either way.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Does anyone want to know what I think?” Bobby asked.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Luke said instantly in a flat, defeated voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Chill out Julie’s dad,” Queenie joked, sliding the glass over to Julie. “Come on girl, you can practically hear it calling out “drink me” can’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Loud and clear,” Julie answered, picking it up and clinking it against the older girl’s glass. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe this was a little out of character for her but everything felt so off lately anyway. Like up was down and down as up. If having one drink to celebrate Sunset Curve’s impending stardom could also help herself forget her own situation she wasn’t going to turn down that opportunity. </p><p> </p><p>“To Sunset Curve!” Queenie said. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone clinked glasses and downed their drinks, Julie’s eyes widening once she realized they were supposed to drink it in one go. She did her best to follow them but she hadn’t counted on the burning sensation that attacked her throat immediately. She coughed hard, clutching at her chest and scrunching up her face in pain. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was pounding on her back when she caught her breath. </p><p> </p><p>“I told you,” He grumbled. “Are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good,” Julie managed to rasp out. “I don’t think I want another one of those though.” </p><p> </p><p>“That one will be enough,” Queenie promised, leaning forward to fake whisper conspiratorially. “Trust me in a few minutes you’ll feel 1,000 feet tall.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie wasn’t sure about that. So far all she felt was embarrassed that she had almost choked to death directly after telling Luke off for thinking she was too young to drink. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, who is going to sing with me? That karaoke is calling my name!” Queenie exclaimed, standing up from the booth. </p><p> </p><p>Unsurprisingly Bobby almost tripped over his own feet as he hurried to volunteer. Queenie didn’t seem to mind his less than graceful steps as she grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the stage. </p><p> </p><p>After that time passed in a blur for Julie. </p><p> </p><p>She sat mostly in silence just listening in as the boys excitedly went over the events of the day and what songs they should do at the upcoming showcase. She was starting to feel what Queenie had been describing, a warmth that started in her stomach and slowly inched upward until she could feel her cheeks burning but not in an unpleasant way. Everything the guys said started to seem twice as funny as it would normally and she found herself giggling often much to their amusement. Thoughts of her problems and everything she had to do were decidedly absent. In fact most thoughts had decided to abandon her leaning her mind pleasantly blank. And best of all, Luke’s arm was stretched over the back of the booth behind her, not touching her but resting so close that she could swear she could feel the warmth radiating off of it. </p><p> </p><p>At one point Bobby had talked Reggie and Alex into joining him for a song though Luke had put them off so far. Queenie and Bobby were almost finished with their second duet of the night when Julie had a sudden urge to join in the fun. </p><p> </p><p>She turned to look up at Luke, turning her head at a slightly harsher angle than she perhaps really needed to. </p><p> </p><p>“I want to do that,” She announced without preamble.</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s eyebrows shot up at her sudden declaration.</p><p> </p><p>“You want to do what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sing. With you. Can we?”</p><p> </p><p>He looked down at her with an amused but affectionate smile. She could tell he didn’t want to be looking at her like that. He wanted to be looking at her like she was in trouble for doing something stupid when he told her not to. But he didn’t have much control over how he looked at her. It usually ended up kind of soft like this. </p><p> </p><p>That hadn’t changed. </p><p> </p><p>“Do we even know any of the same songs?” He asked hesitantly. “They don’t have Sunset Curve in that thing yet.” </p><p> </p><p>She grinned and stood, tugging him up after her. </p><p> </p><p>“I know the perfect song.”</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later she and Luke were clutching microphones belting out the words to Breakfast at Tiffany’s as the rest of their group and some people they didn’t even know clapped and cheered. It wasn’t exactly their greatest performance ever. Julie still didn’t know all of the lyrics by heart and she wasn’t focusing on the words on the screen to the best of her ability either. It was hard to pay attention when Luke was right in front of her laughing at her antics and grinning when she stumbled over words and getting that soft awed look when she managed to hit a particularly good note.</p><p> </p><p>She was pretty sure there was a reason she wasn’t letting herself focus on the fact that he still tended to look at her like that but she couldn’t remember what it was at the moment. So she just let herself enjoy it.</p><p> </p><p>Towards the end of the song Luke reached out and grabbed her hand, using it to spin her around in a circle. She giggled as she turned but nearly lost her footing as she came to a stop, his good arm steadying her as the last notes of the song rang out.</p><p> </p><p>“You good?” He asked, looking down at her with a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m great, thanks for asking,” She answered. “How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head and chuckled. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get you some water. Can you make it back to the table ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie saluted and turned to head in the direction of their booth. When she got there Alex, Reggie and Bobby were just heading up again to find another song to sing so Julie slid into the booth with only Queenie for company. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie apparently thought that was a sign they should engage in girl talk.</p><p> </p><p>She leaned in and eyed Julie curiously. </p><p> </p><p>“So what’s the deal with you and Luke?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt like the girl might as well have slapped her. The words cut through the haze in her mind like a bucket of cold water.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s no deal,” She said in what she hoped was a confident tone. “We’re friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie raised an eyebrow skeptically. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve seen you two sing together multiple times now. There’s a vibe and it’s not friendly.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded without meaning too.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a vibe ok, but it’s just a vibe. I like the vibe. But it’s going to stay just a vibe.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie leaned forward even more, fixing Julie with a serious expression. </p><p> </p><p>“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie looked slightly offended.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Shakespeare. The point is this vibe with Luke? Your weird up in the air status in the band? I'm going to give you some advice alright? You’ve probably heard I’m tough and who knows what else. I know what people say about me. But I know what I want and I go for it. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t but at least I know I tried.”</p><p> </p><p>“What does this have to do with me?” Julie asked, feeling unwelcome clarity resurfacing by the second. </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t live your life half committed to things,” Queenie said firmly. “At some point you have to choose or trust me, life will choose for you. And you won’t always like where you end up.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke appeared at that moment with a glass of water and Julie was saved from having to answer as he insisted she drink it all. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sipped the water, reality rushing back in much faster than she would have liked.</p><p> </p><p>She had thought she had already chosen. Why she was here and what she wanted. </p><p> </p><p>But all of the sudden as Luke’s arm slotted back onto the booth behind her, she wasn’t quite so sure. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Queenie coming through with the unexpected insight...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Epiphany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas Eve! If you don’t celebrate Christmas I wish you a happy Thursday! If it’s not Thursday where you are (time zones are weird) I just hope you’re having a good day! </p><p>Lots more Luke pov this time. I told you both the fluff and angst would be going into overdrive from now on. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie didn’t remember falling asleep in the van but she did remember waking up curled against Reggie’s side. She knew it was Reggie because she could feel the distinctive texture of his leather jacket against her cheek. She didn’t bother to open her eyes and confirm it though, not when the gentle motions of the van were keeping her firmly in that dreamy space between reality and sleep. Her head was still just a little bit fuzzy and it seemed like a much better idea to just burrow further into the warmth of the boy on the seat next to her and let the sound of her friends' voices wash over her. </p><p> </p><p>“Careful, Bobby! Do you want to maybe try not hitting every pothole?” Luke’s voice rose up from somewhere behind her. “Maybe just like every other one just for variety’s sake?”</p><p> </p><p>“Big talk from the guy who drove my van with one arm the other day,” Bobby snapped back from much closer to her. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well I don’t need two arms to drive better than you.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re worried about Julie maybe just quiet down and don’t wake her up,” Reggie’s amused voice came next. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not worried about Julie, why would I be worried about Julie?” Luke chuckled unconvincingly. </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence before he continued in a rush. </p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t we keep her awake though? Just in case?” </p><p> </p><p>“There it is,” Alex sighed. “She’s a little tipsy, Luke, she doesn’t have a concussion.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know that,” Luke muttered.</p><p> </p><p>Julie had to fight down the urge to giggle at his embarrassed tone, the way his accent was coming out again, the way he clearly cared about her even if he tended to show it in flashes of irrational overprotectiveness. She managed to keep herself from reacting outwardly by burying her face more deeply in Reggie’s jacket which he luckily interpreted as her starting to wake up. </p><p> </p><p>“Shhh,” He hissed at the other boys.</p><p> </p><p>The van fell back into silence and Julie slipped off to true sleep again. </p><p> </p><p>The next time she woke up she was being deposited on a soft surface. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I can’t carry her up the ladder. I figured you would let her sleep on the pullout tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right, but how am I supposed to pull it out with her on top of it, Reg?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie yawned and forced her eyes open.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m up, I’m up.”</p><p> </p><p>She forced herself into a seated position and looked around the garage taking in the gathered guys who were looking at her with expressions ranging from amusement to awkwardness. On one end of the scale was Alex who was watching the situation unfold while shaking his head, signature lovingly judgmental smile firmly in place. On the other end of the scale was Luke who looked horrified as though he had been caught doing something questionable rather than the reality of just arguing with Reggie over the best way to take care of her. Reggie was somewhere in the middle, affectionate and amused. Bobby was missing at first but chose that moment to walk back in clutching several water bottles in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>Julie let a giggle escape as she forced herself to her feet, brushing off Luke’s hand as he tried to steady her even though she hadn’t actually stumbled. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys are great? Have I told you that?”</p><p> </p><p>She sat down on the floor, crossed her legs and waited.</p><p> </p><p>They were still staring at her so she gestured towards the couch expectantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone can unfold it now.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie and Alex hurried to do so while Bobby made sure she saw him setting the water down nearby. The whole process only took a couple of minutes but Julie could admit she had already started to drift off again, chin cradled in one hand. She was startled back to full awareness when Alex crouched down and patted her head which left her feeling both like he was very sweet and that he saw her as a pet of some kind. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t say goodbye to the rest of the guys though they must have left at that point, just toed off her sneakers and crawled onto the now pulled out couch. She was just about to fall asleep yet again when she noticed Luke was in the process of pulling a blanket over her one handed. She reached out and caught his hand, tugging on it without thinking it through. </p><p> </p><p>“Lay down you’re making me dizzy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, that’s probably not a good idea.”</p><p> </p><p>“Queenie says doubts oft make um...fools...got to commit to stuff...blah blah Shakespeare,” She frowned. “That’s not it.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I think you might have missed a word or two there.”</p><p> </p><p>“The point is I’m supposed to make choices and I choose not to let you sleep on the floor again.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke was still hesitating so she tugged insistently on his hand again. Finally he sighed and nudged his own sneakers off before climbing on next to her, careful to leave about a foot of space between them. Julie pulled her hand back, satisfied with her victory. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok. You just stay over there where it’s safe.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Safe from what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>She answered without hesitation than immediately regretted it. </p><p> </p><p>“What feelings?” He asked softly, big (no longer dead) eyes way too close. </p><p> </p><p>Julie panicked and slammed her own eyes shut again. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sleeping.”</p><p> </p><p>That earned her a full on laugh from the boy next to her.</p><p> </p><p>“So what, this is all a dream then?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes fluttered back open at that. Her heart clenching painfully at his words.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it is. Sometimes I think so. Want to know a secret? Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to wake up.”</p><p> </p><p>He frowned, reaching out seemingly without thinking about it to brush a piece of hair away from her face.</p><p> </p><p>Julie rolled onto her back to give herself a little distance to try to get her emotions back under control. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked after a few seconds had passed.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? How my dad would kill me if he knew I had drank and was lying next to a boy,” Julie giggled, her laughter trailing off as she pictured her dad’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“You must miss him,” Luke said carefully. </p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Julie admitted. “So much.”</p><p> </p><p>“We could call him tomorrow,” Luke suggested. </p><p> </p><p>If only it was that easy. </p><p> </p><p>“No, we can’t,” Julie sighed before rolling onto her side to face the boy next to her again. “But thanks for offering.”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes were just slipping closed again when she realized how empty her arms felt. </p><p> </p><p>“I need Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>His hand brushed her arm.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m right here.”</p><p> </p><p>She yawned again, eyes still firmly closed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not my bear,” She mumbled, sleep fighting to drag her away from the conversation. “You smell just like him though.” </p><p> </p><p>And maybe tomorrow she would be embarrassed that a statement on his scent was her parting line but in the moment all she felt was warm and safe. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Luke was having one of those sudden, life changing thoughts. He knew there was a word for those but he couldn’t remember what it was. Alex would know. Bobby probably would too but there was no way Luke was giving him the satisfaction of asking. Reggie...well, he loved the guy but he was lucky he could play the bass. </p><p> </p><p>The point was as he hauled himself up into the loft one handed on a mission to retrieve a miniature teddy bear version of himself for a girl who had already fallen asleep...he had a sudden realization. </p><p> </p><p>He liked Julie. A lot. And not in a “you’re crazy talented and you make my band better” kind of way. There was that but there was also “today was the most important day of my life and I somehow spent most of it worrying about you” and that was the part that was hitting him all at once. </p><p> </p><p>If Alex was here he would undoubtedly call Luke an idiot. He would say that it was completely typical that it took him this long to realize his own feelings when everyone around him had known way sooner. He would say it was ironic that Luke could write songs full of emotion yet be so out of touch with his own. Alex would say he had been trying to tell him how obvious his crush was for weeks only to have Luke stubbornly deny the obvious.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily Alex wasn’t there to have his “I told you so” moment at the same time Luke was having his “I’m an idiot” moment. It had been a long day and he needed to process those separately. </p><p> </p><p>Some people might think he had been in denial but it wasn’t really like that for him. Things tended to sink in for Luke so slowly he didn’t notice them and then all of the sudden hit him upside the head all at once. Like when his folks bought him that guitar and he went from messing around on it everyday after school to feeling lost without it in his hands over night. Like when he went from thinking Reggie and Alex and Bobby were fun to hang around with to knowing they were the family he chose in an instant. </p><p> </p><p>Like when Julie went from the girl who ruined his life by coming between him and his dream to the girl who made his dream only part of what made him want to get up every day. </p><p> </p><p>A sudden, life changing realization.</p><p> </p><p>There was definitely a word for that. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was so lost in thought that he stumbled over the edge of Julie’s mattress, sending it skidding a few inches across the floor and almost sending Luke flat on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Ow, crap,” He hopped in place for a moment to regain his footing. </p><p> </p><p>He reached down to pull her mattress back into place but stopped short when he saw that there had been something underneath it. A folded up piece of notebook paper and a business card, sitting there on the floor seemingly innocent though their presence set off alarm bells in Luke’s mind. Whatever they were, Julie had chosen to hide them for some reason. Which meant he should leave them alone. </p><p> </p><p>Luke knew he should put the mattress back and leave those items alone. The word boundaries flashed inside his head. The way he felt when he found Julie reading his lyrics without permission left him feeling guilty for even considering doing the same to her. But Luke wasn’t above being a little hypocritical. He definitely wasn’t above giving in to the curiosity that somehow always seemed to creep up on him even when he thought he had control of it. And besides he knew so little about the girl who he had just realized meant a lot more to him than he’d previously been ready to admit. The temptation to reach out and grab these scraps of her was overwhelming.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head. No, he needed to respect her privacy. He started to pull the mattress back before hesitating yet again. Maybe just a glance wouldn’t hurt…</p><p> </p><p>He should have just never seen them in the first place because now he couldn’t stop thinking about them.</p><p> </p><p>Ok, if he just glanced at the business card and left the piece of paper alone that was a good compromise right? Besides, maybe it had her dad’s number on it. She said she didn’t want to call him but maybe she would change her mind. Maybe Luke could help her.</p><p> </p><p>He reached out and grasped the small rectangle, pulling it up to examine closer. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t offer a lot of information, just an address centered on one side. Luke flipped it over and read the name written there in swirling script.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Caleb Covington </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Weird. </p><p> </p><p>Well, that was a bust. Luke was hit with a rush of guilt for invading Julie’s privacy and hurried to replace the card under her mattress. He snatched up her teddy bear and tucked it under his bad arm before climbing back down to the main floor. He crossed the room as quietly as possible and slipped back into the makeshift bed, depositing the bear next to the sleeping girl he found there. </p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep if for no other reason than to give his brain a break. Dreams finally coming true, suddenly less mysterious feelings for a girl who herself was turning out to be more mysterious than he had imagined. </p><p> </p><p>Sudden, life changing revelations left and right.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t end up sleeping much that night. He made sure he was up and out of bed before Julie ever woke up and so they had managed to avoid a super awkward morning situation. In fact if he was being totally honest he had spent most of the day avoiding her to a certain extent. He may have realized how he felt about her but they didn’t mean he had realized how to handle that knowledge. </p><p> </p><p>She had suggested they work on writing at one point in case Queenie wanted to hear a new song during the showcase. He had given it a try but every line that occurred to him had been something incredibly sappy about brown eyes and soft hands and eventually he’d had to make up an excuse to call off the writing session. By the time the rest of the guys showed up after school he had worked himself up into a ball of nervous energy which he knew they picked up on immediately. His only hope was that they might think it was to do with the upcoming performance and not the girl on the other side of the garage. Not that he would keep the reality a secret from them for long. They didn’t do secrets. He just needed the right moment. Preferably one where the girl in question wasn’t around. Luckily he didn’t have to wait long.</p><p> </p><p>Julie announced that she couldn’t go one more day living off of fast food and decided to use one of the coupons Bobby had given her for a nutritious meal with his family. Once they disappeared into the house Luke told Alex and Reggie he needed them to go somewhere with him. To their credit they didn’t hesitate even when he refused to answer any of their questions until they had arrived at their destination. </p><p> </p><p>“The arcade?” Alex observed with a frown. “This is where you needed to go?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, sometimes I go through video game withdrawals too,” Reggie offered patting his friend on the back supportively. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Reg, but that’s not why we’re here,” Luke said determinedly. “There’s something here I need.”</p><p> </p><p>“This should be good,” Alex said. </p><p> </p><p>Luke ignored his friend’s comment and led the way over to the claw machine where he had failed to win Julie the ring the last time he was there. It was still there, perched precariously on a pile of other cheap, plastic prizes in its little container. It was practically mocking him through the glass. </p><p> </p><p>“You need something from the claw machine?” Alex asked incredulously. “Running low on snap bracelets and scented erasers?”</p><p> </p><p>“I need that ring,” Luke jabbed his finger at the offending object. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie leaned forward to peer through the glass.</p><p> </p><p>“Oooh it is pretty! It will look great on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not for me. I need it for Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence while they took in his words and then his friends exchanged knowing smirks. </p><p> </p><p>“Ohhhh, for Julie,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“And why do you need to get that for Julie?” Alex asked, smirk still firmly in place. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shrugged, trying and failing to appear nonchalant.</p><p> </p><p>“Because she wants it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh huh,” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Can we examine that thought process a little more closely?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to this part.</p><p> </p><p>“No need, dude. I already had my...hey, what’s that word for when you suddenly realize something big is happening?”</p><p> </p><p>“Indigestion?” Reggie suggested earning him glares from both of his friends.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok...you lost talking privileges for the next five minutes,” Alex shook his head before turning back to Luke. “You’re saying you had an epiphany?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke snapped his fingers excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s it! That was driving me crazy. I had an epiphany last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“What brought that on?” Alex teased.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not important,” Luke could feel himself blushing but he pushed on anyway. “The point is I realized I like Julie. A lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“And people say I’m the dumb one,” Reggie joked. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re technically still not supposed to be talking but I’ll allow it,” Alex said. “Luke, you really are a special brand of oblivious when it comes to your own feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok, I get it. Luke’s an idiot and it’s super hilarious. Now are you going to help me win this thing or not?”</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately they agreed. Unfortunately half an hour later they were out of quarters and no closer to winning the ring in question. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on!” Luke snapped, kicking the machine then hopping away in pain. </p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, dude,” Alex insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you know these things are rigged anyway,” Reggie added.</p><p> </p><p>Luke groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“If one more person tells me that…”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we can just pay the owner to open it up for you,” Reggie suggested.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I have to win it. It’s like a metaphor or something to show how much I like her.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“We never should have played that book club. Look, you don’t need a plastic ring. Just tell her how you feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds like a terrible plan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Worse than spending most of the money we had left on a claw machine?” Reggie pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s shoulders fell in defeat.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry guys. That was stupid.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex slung an arm around Luke’s shoulders and Reggie gave his good arm an affectionate punch.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, love makes people do stupid things. We’ve got your back,” Alex said, his tone amused but serious. </p><p> </p><p>“So when are you going to tell her how you feel?” Reggie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Luke swallowed hard, just the thought of it enough to send his nerves into overdrive. Still. He wasn’t the type not to go after what he wanted once he realized he wanted it. He could do this. </p><p> </p><p>Could he do this?</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll have to think about it,” He said eventually. “It’s not like there’s a deadline. I’ve got plenty of time.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Supportive friends are supportive and Luke doesn’t realize he doesn’t have forever to get it together...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Epiphany Fallout</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope everyone had a good Christmas! I missed you guys.</p><p>I’m putting together a playlist (a long one lol) for this story so I should have that for you guys with the next chapter. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had now been a day and a half since her surprise involvement with the record label meeting and her somewhat questionable decisions afterwards. Julie had woken up the morning after dehydrated with a bit of a headache, determined to act completely normal and put any potential embarrassment from the night before behind her. Unfortunately Luke didn’t seem prepared to do the same. He had spent most of the day after avoiding her, which wasn’t easy to do when it was just the two of them in a tiny garage for hours and hours. Even her efforts to entice him into writing with her, the card she always played when she needed a guaranteed way to get Luke out of a funk, had been met with only half of his attention before he slinked off to a corner again. </p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>It had gotten to the point of awkwardness where Julie could hardly stand it by the end of the day. She had announced she would be joining Bobby’s family for dinner purely so she could escape from the four walls of the garage that seemed to be closing in on her more by the minute. It was silly that she was letting it get to her so much. It wasn’t like Luke was acting hostile to her or anything just...uninterested. Uninterested in writing with her, uninterested in talking with her...uninterested in looking at her. And she knew deep down that should be a development that she took as positive. Hadn’t she been telling herself all along that the less attention they paid to her the better? </p><p> </p><p>So why had she spent almost the past 48 hours wracking her brain for what she could possibly have done to cause Luke to go from comically overprotective to avoiding looking at her like he might spontaneously combust if their eyes met? She didn’t remember saying or doing anything that would warrant a change like that, though there were parts of that evening that were a bit fuzzy. Maybe he had just finally gotten sick of having to take care of her all the time. Maybe whatever she had said or done had suddenly made him see her as a a silly little girl who got lost and followed him home. Which wasn’t totally inaccurate but the thought of being seen that way still stung.</p><p> </p><p>Julie was startled from her anxious thoughts by the garage doors bursting open and Queenie popping through dramatically.</p><p> </p><p>“Showcase news!” </p><p> </p><p>Julie wasn’t the only one shocked by the older girl’s sudden appearance. Reggie practically jumped into Alex’s lap and Luke let out a little squeak of surprise from where he leaned against the wall across the garage. Bobby on the other hand seemed a little too happy to be surprised.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie stopped in the doorway and took in the shocked expressions on the band in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with you guys?” She asked, one hand on her hip. “You look like you saw a ghost.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a small sound of amusement earning her a confused look from Luke before the boy quickly turned away again. That was enough to sober Julie again. </p><p> </p><p>“Where did you come from?” Reggie asked, peering past Queenie.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie ignored his question and strode into the garage. She started to sit in one of the chairs before she took a closer look and seemed to think better of it.</p><p> </p><p>“This place is...nice. We’ll hook you up with a more suitable rehearsal space after you sign with us of course, but this is...quaint.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it’s not much but it works,” Bobby hurried to agree. “Can’t wait until we can move on though.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby, you love this place.”</p><p> </p><p>He shot her a look that clearly said he was begging her to stop talking. Julie sighed. Did he really think he needed to talk down about one of his favorite places in the world in order to impress the girl he liked? </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, it’s perfectly adorable,” Queenie said though the way she wrinkled her nose when she said it sent a stronger message than her words did.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you even know where to find us?” Alex spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I was talking to Bobby last night and said I would probably have more details about the showcase today so he invited me to stop by.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ohhh, you were talking to Bobby last night,” Alex said with a smirk. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Bobby muttered desperately.</p><p> </p><p>“Is love in the air this week or what?” Reggie added cheerfully. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shot up from his place against the wall and broke in at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Am I the only one who actually wants to hear about the showcase?” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie pointed at Luke and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“See, that’s the passion I like to see. Just wait until you hear this. It was super last minute but I managed to book you guys an epic venue. Wait for it...the Orpheum!” </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of shocked silence before they all started speaking at once.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“No way!”</p><p> </p><p>“They seriously are going to let us play after last time?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” </p><p> </p><p>“How?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie gave a self satisfied smile and folded her arms proudly.</p><p> </p><p>“They were a little hesitant at first since you bailed last time…”</p><p> </p><p>“They didn’t bail,” Julie corrected. </p><p> </p><p>“Whatever. But with me vouching for you they decided to give you another chance. I figured it was like poetic justice to let you guys prove yourselves there.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes sought out Luke’s, she couldn’t help it. He was staring at Queenie, his expression a mixture of disbelief and hope. She was hit with a wave of emotions as she watched him take in the news. There was excitement and relief that the dream she had inadvertently taken from them seemed to be within reach again. There was guilt that she had taken it in the first place and fear that she would somehow manage to do it again. There was the strong rush of memory of the last time they had played the Orpheum, the time the boys didn’t remember but had happened to them all the same. And there was the irritatingly strong desire for Luke to just look at her so they could share this moment. Part of her felt like she couldn’t land on one feeling about the situation until she could see her excitement reflected in him. </p><p> </p><p>As though he actually heard her silent plea or maybe as though they were connected by an invisible string she had been tugging insistently on, Luke turned. Their eyes locked and there was a single moment of hesitation before his face broke into a radiant grin. Julie felt tension drain from her as she returned it with a grin of her own. Maybe they were ok after all. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie was still talking by the time Julie managed to tune back in.</p><p> </p><p>“4 songs. We want one that specifically showcases Julie’s voice and one where she plays a more minimal role so the team can get a taste for both. The other two songs can be anything you want but pick your strongest stuff. Daddy has high hopes for you but nothing’s a done deal until you actually sign the contract so put on the show of your lives, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll rock it, don’t worry,” Luke said firmly, practically bouncing in place in excitement. “We need to start practicing.” </p><p> </p><p>He was already reaching for his guitar before he seemed to suddenly remember he couldn’t actually play it at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Right, well the rest of you should get your instruments,” He tried to cover his mistake though the laughter of his friends was a good sign they had caught his mistake. </p><p> </p><p>“You could hang out if you want,” Bobby suggested to Queenie. “Get a preview or give us some tips or something.” </p><p> </p><p>She offered him a smile but she was already backing out the door.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s very sweet but my new single is out next week. I’ve got a photo shoot and a wardrobe fitting.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right, yeah, of course.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby ducked his head and Julie frowned. He was taking this crush a little far wasn’t he? She didn’t know this version of Bobby well but it was still surprising to her that he seemed to have completely lost his head when it came to someone he had just met. And why did Queenie feel so oddly familiar? Apparently she was famous so maybe Julie had just seen her on one of her dad’s old cds or something? But she didn’t think that was it. There was something there just out of reach and she knew she would feel like an idiot once the pieces finally snapped together. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I’ll call later. Just to check on your progress.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie’s words were enough to have Bobby jerking his head upright again, an eager smile back in place.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that would be great. Good. Fine. If you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“Any other adjectives you want to work in there, Bobby? I think you missed a couple,” Alex remarked sarcastically. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, thanks and everything but why don’t you wish us good luck and get going. We don’t want you to be late to your photo shoot,” Luke remarked, his words without venom but still easily interpreted as rude if someone was looking to be offended. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” Bobby hissed. </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew he was just dying to get started rehearsing but she still cringed expecting Queenie to react badly to his dismissal.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie only raised an eyebrow before speaking again.</p><p> </p><p>“Luck is another word for tenacity of purpose.“</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded wisely.</p><p> </p><p>“Shakespeare?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ralph Waldo Emerson,” Queenie corrected, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys later.”</p><p> </p><p>She shot Bobby a small smile and then she was turning sharply on her heel and walking out of sight. </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of semi-stunned silence before Alex spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“She is a very weird pop star.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who cares? We’re playing the Orpheum!” Luke exclaimed. </p><p> </p><p>“We’re playing the Orpheum!” Bobby echoed.</p><p> </p><p>Then all of the guys were on their feet and jumping around in a circle, too excited to notice that Julie was hanging back. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited for them. She was. But part of her couldn’t help but acknowledge the pit of dread settling deep in her stomach the more she thought about it. The hotdogs. Caleb’s ultimatum and the wrong unfinished business. Luke’s broken arm. </p><p> </p><p>She was starting to think the Orpheum was cursed when it came to the boys in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>What would go wrong this time? And would it involve her?</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s head suddenly popped up from across the room, eyes seeking her out. </p><p> </p><p>Well, at least Queenie’s news seemed to have shocked him out of whatever mood had him avoiding looking at her at all costs. </p><p> </p><p>Something in her facial expression must have given her away because the next thing she knew he was crossing the room and examining her face carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” </p><p> </p><p>His tone was soft, the words meant just for her and Julie struggled not to just word vomit out the entire truth. No good would come of it but the temptation to just lay everything at someone else’s feet and let them decide what to do was so strong. </p><p> </p><p>But she was stronger.</p><p> </p><p>So in the end she just forced a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. I’m so happy for you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“For all of us. You too.” Luke insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you haven’t agreed to sign on with us,” Luke barreled forward. “But the way we perform together? The way we write? It’s magic, Julie. We make each other better.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled sadly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s my line.”</p><p> </p><p>Now it was his turn to frown, confusion scrunching up his features.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>He took a step closer to her which was really something given that he was already pretty close. Julie swallowed around the lump in her throat, very aware that the other guys were only pretending not to pay attention to them.</p><p> </p><p>“We could be a band. For real. We could be...,” Luke trailed off, shaking his head. “Just promise me you’ll think about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t want to lie to him anymore than she already had but she supposed she didn’t really have to. What he was suggesting, what 1995 was dangling in front of her, was almost all she would be thinking about until the moment she had to walk away from it forever.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise,” She almost whispered, her eyes locked on his which she knew was a very bad idea but she had missed the opportunity to do so the last couple of days or so. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, so are we going to practice or…” Bobby called from across the garage, his tone amused.</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked annoyed for a moment but Julie’s smile seemed to bring him around.</p><p> </p><p>“Let the children talk,” Alex insisted. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, they’re super cute. Alex is tearing up,” Reggie added. </p><p> </p><p>“I am not,” Alex insisted, his voice rising as he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Then why are your eyes so shiny?” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“You just...send them out into the world and you hope they fly but you never know.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex</p><p> </p><p>“We’re still not practicing.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby.</p><p> </p><p>Their voices rose up and felt like the start of another headache later. But they also felt like home.</p><p> </p><p>Luke rolled his eyes and grinned down at her. Julie chuckled and shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“We should probably get to rehearsing,” She admitted.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Luke nodded enthusiastically. “Let’s do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Several hours later Julie was collapsed in an exhausted pile on the couch, Luke’s insistence that they run through every song they were considering five times leaving her completely drained. Bobby and Luke had lost the game of Rock Paper Scissors and were on their way to pick up yet another pizza. Reggie had gone into Bobby’s house in search of drinks leaving only Alex to keep Julie company. His lanky frame was draped over one of the chairs, each of his limbs sprawled comically outward.</p><p> </p><p>Julie figured this was as good a time as any to seize the opportunity and try again to bring up the subject of his parents. She sat up slightly and leaned forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Alex?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t sit up, but he did roll his head to face her.</p><p> </p><p>“We never got to finish our conversation the other day. About your family? We got a little...uh...sidetracked.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex swung his legs to the side and sat up at that, a knowing smirk growing on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“How did that conversation sink in by the way? Any revelations? About anything at all?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie struggled to fight down the blush that wanted to emerge on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“What? No. Why would there be?”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t tell us Luke took you to the arcade,” Alex continued.</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“Why would that...wait, what did he say about the arcade?”</p><p> </p><p>“What was there to say about the arcade?” Alex countered.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Julie insisted. “I don’t think...did he say something? About why he’s been avoiding me the past couple of days?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, that’s not something to worry about. Just epiphany fallout.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s entire face contorted in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“What now?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie chose that moment to walk back in, more of Bobby’s secret soda stash clutched in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>Alex shot up from the chair and started walking backwards toward the open garage doors.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to go see if I left my Walkman in the van the other night,” He explained. “I’ll be back.”</p><p> </p><p>Then he was gone leaving Julie staring after him incredulously.</p><p> </p><p>“He did it again,” She said out loud as Reggie dumped the cans he held onto the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Reggie asked, flopping onto the couch next to her. </p><p> </p><p>“That thing he does where I ask him something and he manages to trick me into talking about something else and then disappears.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“His Jedi mind trick. He’s scary good at it. What did you want to ask him about?”</p><p> </p><p>“His parents,” Julie admitted with a sigh. “I can tell it’s a sore subject and I don’t want to make him upset. I just thought...we’re friends now. I want to know more about you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie reached out and patted her knee comfortingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you can ask me anything. I’m an open book.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie examined the face of the boy next to her carefully. The last thing she wanted to do was upset another one of the boys but she also knew she had to keep trying. Her unfinished business might rely on it.</p><p> </p><p>“Well...I was actually curious about your parents too. You guys never talk about your families.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s expression grew a little sad but he didn’t try to avoid the subject like Alex did.</p><p> </p><p>“I love my parents. And I know they love me deep down. Well, at least my Mom does. It’s just...they can’t really see me you know? Not when they’re so busy seeing all the things they hate about each other.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out and gripped Reggie’s hand loosely in hers, earning her a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do they stay together if they hate each other so much?” She asked carefully.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Habit? Money? Maybe because none of my mom’s friends are divorced? Who knows.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded, just taking in his words for a moment. She knew she had been lucky to have two parents who truly loved each other and whose fights never seemed to last more than one night. She couldn’t imagine someone as sweet as Reggie being ignored in his own home because his parents were too busy tearing each other down.</p><p> </p><p>“Do they ever come hear you play?” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I used to invite them but something always came up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would you want them to?” She asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Definitely,” Reggie said enthusiastically before sinking back slightly. “Well, my mom at least. My dad’s a little...anyway. I think she’d be proud if she ever saw what we can do.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie gave his hand a squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course she would, Reggie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Julie,” He smiled, this one reaching his eyes a little more. “But I don’t think she even hears me when I speak these days.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if...what if I invited her?” Julie offered, hoping that she wasn’t overstepping yet again. “Maybe I could talk to her.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie hesitated.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s really sweet, Julie but I don’t want to pull you into my problems.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie was shaking her head before he even finished speaking.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what friends do, Reggie. Besides...you literally saved me and gave me a home. I want to help.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie pulled her into a hug that took Julie by surprise though she definitely wasn’t complaining.</p><p> </p><p>“Aww, Julie. I’m so glad you had a hotdog related breakdown and fell asleep on that random bench.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie squeezed him tighter and tried to fight down the tears that threatened to gather in her eyes. He had no idea. </p><p> </p><p>“Me too, Reg. Me too.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Luke reacted to his epiphany about as well as we expected he would, Reggie continued to be the sweetest and Alex is truly talented at avoiding things he doesn’t want to talk about. And Bobby...he’s definitely lost his head when it comes to Queenie.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Just another Greek tragedy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As promised here is the playlist: </p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/51RRAYcXlys0jvRPZzujWi?si=AkcmYfthSw2wkrwueHY8tw</p><p>It’s quite long but I spend hours writing this so I need a lot of music lol. At least one of these songs will pop up later in the story as a song Julie writes so I’m looking forward to that. I’ll let you know when we get there. It’s too perfect not to use. And no...it’s shockingly not a Taylor Swift song. </p><p>I hope you enjoy this chapter! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next day Julie found herself standing nervously outside of Reggie’s house</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once she had the ok from Reggie to talk to his mom she had decided there was no point in putting it off. The day after tomorrow they would be playing the Orpheum and Julie was determined that as many of the boys’ families as possible would be in attendance. She hoped that would be enough to get her sent home but she also truly wanted that for them. If she had to leave them she wanted to do it with the knowledge that they were on their way to truly having their families back in their lives.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She just wasn’t sure they would understand the urgency of her timeline, especially Luke. He had agreed to think about talking to his folks but he hadn’t brought it up since. Julie figured she would start with Reggie’s mom and then hopefully use the momentum of her success with her to have the confidence to approach the subject with Luke again soon. Like that night. Tomorrow at the latest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> No pressure then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. She was hit with a rush of deja vu all over again. Standing outside of Luke’s parents’ house had been intimidating, especially once he poofed in unexpectedly, but at least she had known exactly what she was going to say to them. Despite laying awake half the night thinking about it she was less sure of what she would say to Reggie’s mom. She just knew he deserved to have his mom witness his dream coming true and she was willing to try anything to make that happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before she had any more time to strategize or calm her nerves, the door was opening and a woman was appearing in the doorway. She was only a little taller than Julie with a dark brown bob and blue eyes. Unlike with Bobby and his mom she could see the resemblance immediately. It was less about any particular set of features and more about the general feeling Julie got looking at her face. She could see an echo of Reggie there. She could also see an expression of confusion bordering on suspicion so she probably needed to hurry up and say something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie fixed her face with what she hoped was a trustworthy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Julie. I’m a friend of Reggie’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman in front of her raised an eyebrow in apparent surprise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Julie, Reggie isn’t here. He’s at school. Speaking of which...shouldn’t you be at school too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been so long since Julie had an adult worrying about how she spent her days that it honestly hadn’t occurred to her that a question like that would come up. She had come a long way from her dad’s lectures over her oversleeping and missing a few classes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m um...homeschooled,” Julie managed to get out. “I finished my work early today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman seemed perplexed but not hostile so Julie decided to take that as a positive sign.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s very efficient of you but Reggie still isn’t here,” She explained again. “I can tell him you dropped by.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was already starting to back into the house so Julie knew she needed to say something to turn this conversation around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you,” Julie broke in quickly. “About Reggie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman stopped in her tracks, suddenly looking much more attentive but also a lot more worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is something wrong with my son?” She asked anxiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie held up her hands hoping she could stop the woman’s rushing thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine, I promise, sorry if I scared you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother visibly relaxed at her assurances.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am worried about him though. Can I please come in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman hesitated for a moment before stepping aside and gesturing for Julie to enter the house. Julie breathed a sigh of relief that she had managed that much, stepping inside and taking a look around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a relatively small house but it was clean and comfortable. What it wasn’t was bursting with personality like she would have expected based on her impression of Reggie and how his pure Reggieness just came out at all times. She had pictured something more like the house she shared with her family with stacks of brightly colored stuff and photos of teenage Reggie hanging on the walls. Instead she saw a room with few personal items and beige walls. There were pictures on the wall, mostly of Reggie alone or a few with what she assumed was his father,  but she didn’t see any taken past the age of about 5.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother must have noticed Julie looking because she had appeared at her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the problem with being the designated photographer,” She offered. “You don’t end up in any of the pictures.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She frowned as she took in the photos.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we’re overdue to take a new one,” She shook her head and gestured towards the kitchen. “Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll make us some tea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sat down at the kitchen table and tried to get her thoughts in order. A couple of minutes later Reggie’s mom set a mug in front of Julie and sank into the chair across from her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Sophie by the way,” She introduced herself as she clutched her own mug. “And I’m sorry to say I’ve never heard of you, Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded, that was fair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, yeah. We became friends relatively recently. We’re actually in a band together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie seemed surprised by this news. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t aware he was still doing the whole band thing,” She admitted. “I haven’t heard anything about it for awhile.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” Julie started cautiously. “We have a really big show coming up on Saturday night and I think he’d really like you to be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie frowned again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t he just tell me this himself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie paused, trying to figure out the best way to word her answer to avoid offending her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly? I think Reggie feels a little...invisible. He hasn’t told me much but I think he’s afraid of being a burden if he rocks the boat at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie scoffed and gripped her mug tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could my son ever be a burden?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was silent for a beat before she spoke again, her tone more unsure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not exactly,” Julie shook her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what did he say?” Sophie asked bluntly, leaning forward. “You seem like a nice girl, Julie and I’m glad you seem to care about Reggie. But we’re not getting anywhere with you presumably trying to spare my feelings.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a deep breath. Ok, so maybe her attempt at subtly wasn’t going to cut it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said that he knows you love him, and I can tell he loves you very much by the way, but that you and your husband are too busy fighting to notice him most of the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie cringed as soon as the words escaped her. Her dad would be mortified if he knew she had just spoken to another adult that way. She didn’t even want to think about what her aunt would have to say about it. Still. It seemed to have gotten through to the woman before her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie had slumped slightly in her chair at Julie’s words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do,” She admitted. “Reggie’s father and I haven’t gotten along for such a long time. His job is so stressful and it’s like he can’t even see me unless I’m doing something wrong. I never...I never meant to make Reggie feel that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask why you’re still together?” Julie ventured, figuring that if she had already stuck her nose in this far she might as well go all the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie looked surprised at the question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want Reggie to have a broken home,” She said as though it should have been obvious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Julie started carefully. “But there’s more than one kind of broken home. I think Reggie just wants you to be happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sophie reached up to wipe at her eyes as tears gathered there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you say Reggie met you again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie bit her lip before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s kind of a long story…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m glad he did,” Sophie said, chuckling through a few stray tears. “Even if this is a very embarrassing conversation to be having with a strange teenager who turned up at my doorstep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie offered her a smile which was thankfully returned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now when did you say this performance was?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Julie made it back to the garage she was practically skipping as the full sense of victory sunk in. After everything that had happened to her in the last few months she could hardly believe that things with Reggie’s mom had gone so well. The more she thought about it though the more sense it made. Sophie’s blunt and straightforward manner didn’t feel that similar to Reggie’s comical sweetness but when it came down to it they both had a way of cutting right to the point. What had Reggie said? He was an open book. She could see where he got that from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she made it back Alex, Luke and Bobby were gathered in Wonderland, Luke and Bobby sitting on the couch while Alex paced the floor in front of them. She stood in the open doorway for a moment observing the way the other two boys’ heads swiveled back and forth tracking his anxious progress across the space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh...did I miss something?” She broke the silence, drawing the attention of all three boys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie’s mom showed up to pick him up after school,” Alex announced as though the significance of his statement should have been clear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she didn’t immediately react as extremely to the news as he wanted her to he continued speaking, his voice rising in pitch as he went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie’s mom never picks him up from school. I wasn’t sure she knew where it was honestly. Someone must be dead. Or worse...she heard we went to a bar the other night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shot Luke a questioning look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex likes to jump to the worst case scenario,” He said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I do think maybe you should reconsider your crisis ranking system, bro,” Bobby added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie raised one hand and pointed at Bobby. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hard agree. But also good news. I think I know why Reggie’s mom picked him up and it’s not a death or news of our night out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?” Alex demanded, waving his hand as though he could draw her answer out faster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie flipped her hand around until she was pointing at herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there an explanation standing behind you or…” Luke trailed off, seemingly genuinely confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Julie’s turn to roll her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m the explanation. I went to see Reggie’s mom today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that is not what I expected,” Alex admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s where you went today?” Luke asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you she wasn’t avoiding you,” Bobby stage whispered to the boy next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, dude,” Luke hissed before glancing back over at Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie, can you please just tell me what you know before I descend any deeper into my anxiety spiral?” Alex begged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t let herself linger too much on exactly what conversation she had missed between Luke and Bobby. She would return to obsessing over those possibilities later. First she needed to put Alex out of his misery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie and I got to talking last night and I offered to go talk to her. He wanted her to come to our show and I thought I could help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All three of the boys reacted to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been awfully curious about our families lately,” Alex observed, a slight frown on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Curiouser and curiouser,” Bobby joked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shot up from the couch, his face panicked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie’s mom can’t come to the show. She’ll tell my parents I’m still in the band and we’ll never be able to have a gig again without them showing up to try to drag me home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To be fair if we get signed it’s going to be hard to keep you under the radar anyway,” Alex pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Julie said. “And besides I thought...while I’m on a roll and everything...maybe we could go talk to your parents tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head hard, holding up both his hands and backing up as though he was under physical attack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nuh uh, no way, we’re not doing that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You promised you’d think about it,” Julie reminded him, one hand landing on her hip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well I thought about it and I decided it’s a terrible idea,” Luke countered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we be here for this?” Bobby directed that to Alex. “It feels like Mom and Dad are fighting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? Feels more like my kids are fighting,” Alex sighed. “Good news is my anxiety has receded. Bad news I feel a headache coming on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you all just hear me out?” Julie demanded to the group before turning her attention back to Luke. “I know you miss them. I want to help you. Just...let me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s face changed at her sincere words, his eyes softening and some of his visible frustration draining out of him. Unfortunately what was left didn’t seem to be acceptance of her plan. It was more like regret that he had to let her down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Julie. I just don’t know if I’m ready. Maybe with a little more time…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie tried to fight down the emotion that surfaced at his words but she just couldn’t manage it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if you don’t have more time? What if something happened to you tomorrow? What if I disappeared before I could help you? Do you really want to live with regrets forever?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned and took a step towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would you disappear?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie felt a conflicting mix of affection and exasperation at his words. Of course that’s what he would take from her whole impassioned speech. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My point is nothing is guaranteed. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>that. You thought your big break was within your grasp and the next thing you knew I was slamming into you and derailing your dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t derail my dream,” Luke insisted, his eyes latching onto hers insistently. “Just...expanded it a little.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was having a hard time holding onto what her argument had been when he was looking at her like that heavily implying that his dream had expanded to include </span>
  <em>
    <span>her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I definitely don’t feel like we should be here for this,” Bobby spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, actually I wanted to talk to Alex too,” Julie admitted, turning her attention to the drummer who immediately stepped to the side until he was behind Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to but I think my pal Luke here needs to talk a walk and clear his head and I’d be a terrible friend if I left him alone in his time of need.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shot his friend a confused look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say I needed to take a walk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex grabbed his friend’s shoulders and steered him out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to. You should know by now I know you better than you know yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re not done talking about this!” Julie called after them as the boys disappeared around the corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugggh,” She groaned in frustration as she flopped down onto the couch, tipping her head back until she could examine the ceiling. Unfortunately all she saw were rafters, no answers to her unfinished business dilemma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby stood from his chair and crossed over to sit next to Julie on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re pushing pretty hard huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sat up a little so she could face the boy beside her more fully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not trying to be pushy. I just want you guys to be happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why haven’t you tried to insert yourself into my family life yet?” Bobby asked teasingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly? Because your parents are almost impossibly sweet and understanding,” Julie smiled and shook her head. “But if you have any problems I can annoy you about just let me know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, other than a certain one armed guitarist who drives us both crazy, I think I’m good,” Bobby joked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Queenie?” Julie started, watching his face closely to gauge his reaction. “How’s that going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby seemed to choke on air alone at her statement. When he had recovered he tried to play it cool.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who said anything is going on with me and Queenie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t bother answering that just fixed him with a skeptical look and waited for him to continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so we’ve talked on the phone a few times. And we had a lot of fun the other night. And I like her. Obviously. But she’s like...totally out of my league. She’s a literal pop star.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re about to be a rock star,” Julie reached out to pat his knee reassuringly. “Don’t sell yourself short. She clearly likes you Bobby.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?” He asked glumly. “You barely know her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s true. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>like I do though. I wish I could put my finger on why she’s so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie trailed off, sudden realization washing over her all at once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way she spoke. The way she tossed her hair. The bridge of her nose. The color of her eyes. The way she had apparently betrayed Rose and yet a large part of Julie wanted to like the girl against her better judgement. The way Bobby was head over heels for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How had she not seen it before? Queenie reminded her of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Carrie</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had never met Carrie’s mom. Her parents had split up when the girl was just a toddler and Carrie rarely saw her. Julie didn’t know the full story but apparently Trevor...Bobby...and his wife had a huge falling out and avoided each other as much as possible after the divorce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only other thing Julie knew about Carrie’s mother? Much like Julie’s...she had been into music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Earth to Julie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby broke into her thoughts and pulled her back to the present moment. Julie frowned and leaned closer to the boy next to her, examining his face as though she would find concrete answers there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobby...if you knew you could be happy now but it would hurt later...would you avoid it all and save yourself the pain? Or would you enjoy the happiness while you had it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby seemed confused by her line of questioning but he also seemed to be seriously considering it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d take the happiness where I could get it. Every time. Wouldn’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie sighed, sagging back against the couch again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been trying to figure that out. So far I think I’m just setting myself up to be in pain in the future and making myself miserable now too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised an eyebrow at her cryptic speech but he didn’t press her to explain what she was talking about. Julie felt a rush of gratitude for the rhythmic guitarist who would eventually become Carrie’s dad. She knew in the original timeline he had done something that ended up hurting the other boys badly but now that she really knew him she had a hard time believing his actions had been born purely of selfishness. He loved his friends and he had found room in his heart for her as well. She wanted to believe she had saved him from ever having to become that other version of himself but she was beginning to realize nothing was that simple. No one event, no one choice could solve a lifetime of problems. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, we have the Orpheum show coming up right?” He finally offered, clearly trying to cheer her up. “That’s something worth feeling more than miserable about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why do I feel so scared something bad will happen?” Julie admitted, anxiety settling firmly in her chest as she thought of all the ways nights at the Orpheum had gone wrong before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt like she could almost open up with him. Maybe it was the fact that in reality she had known a version of Bobby longer than any of the others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what Orpheum means?” He suddenly asked, obviously attempting to distract her with his random knowledge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was more than willing to be distracted if she was being honest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope, but I bet you do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She managed a small smile as he launched into his story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means “the house of Orpheus”, who was of course a legendary figure in Greek mythology.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was a musician but not just any musician. When he played he was so amazing even the rocks were charmed by his music. He could make animals dance and rivers change their course,” Bobby explained enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Julie said, suitably impressed. “I guess it makes sense why they would name a club after him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But that’s not the most famous story about Orpheus,” Bobby continued. “He had this wife named Eurydice who he was totally in love with. She died and he was so depressed the gods said he could go down into the underworld and bring her back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s romantic,” Julie said. “Morbid, but romantic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only thing was he had a deal with Hades that he could lead her back to earth on one condition. He couldn’t look back and make sure she was behind him. And he couldn’t do it. They were almost there and he looked back. He saw her for just a second and then she disappeared forever.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie stared at Bobby in mild horror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this supposed to be making me feel better?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby tilted his head until he could make full eye contact with her, waiting until he was sure he had her attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The moral of the story is he should have trusted her. She was there with him all along. He just needed to believe it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t say anything for a moment just let his words wash over her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re with you too, Julie. Whatever’s going on with you. I hope you can believe that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Julie had time to formulate her racing thoughts into a coherent response Luke and Alex chose that moment to walk back into the garage. She turned to face them hoping that her emotions weren’t written all over her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke looked back and forth between their faces, frowning slightly at their serious expressions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did we miss?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bobby 🥺</p><p>Parallels between the Queenie/Bobby relationship and the Julie/Luke relationship...who saw that coming?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Five true things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I meant to have this chapter posted by 9 and it’s almost midnight...so...oops. This whole writing the chapters the same day I post them is a lot. 🙃 But here it is!</p><p>As promised we rewind a bit and get Luke’s perspective on some things. </p><p>Definitely interested to see what you guys think of this one. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure we shouldn’t go look for her?” Luke asked, sitting up from his spot slouched on the couch in an effort to get his friends’ attention.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby rolled his eyes from his seat in the nearby chair and Alex didn’t even bother to stop pacing the floor between them. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I thought I made my opinion on that question known the first three times you asked but by all means, wait another five minutes. Maybe my answer will change,” Bobby said flatly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious,” Luke insisted. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude, she told you she had something to take care of and then walked out on her own, she wasn’t snatched by random guys in a van,” Bobby shot back.</p><p> </p><p>Alex paused briefly in his pacing.</p><p> </p><p>“When you think about it <em> we’re </em>the random guys in a van,” He observed before starting his pacing up again. </p><p> </p><p>Luke let out a frustrated huff of air, gesturing wildly with his good hand.</p><p> </p><p>“That was hours ago. And doesn’t “something to take care of” sound shady? What if she’s in some kind of trouble?”</p><p> </p><p>“First of all, you sound like Alex, no offense,” Bobby started. </p><p> </p><p>Alex didn’t slow down but he did shrug.</p><p> </p><p>“None taken.”</p><p> </p><p>“Second, even if she was in trouble where exactly do you suggest we look?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned but didn’t contradict the logic of Bobby’s argument.</p><p> </p><p>“And third, I can’t deal with both of you freaking out about nothing at the same time,” Bobby finished, pointing back and forth between his two friends in exasperation. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I am not freaking out about nothing,” Alex countered, slowing his steps slightly. “Reggie’s mom picked him up out of nowhere. That can’t be good.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m not freaking out at all,” Luke stated firmly. “I just have a normal, healthy level of concern for our friend.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby and Alex exchanged a look.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Luke demanded, looking back and forth between them in irritation. </p><p> </p><p>“We all know already your feelings for her are not just friendly, so give it up. Plus when we came in you were dragging the furniture around with one arm,” Bobby pointed out an amused smirk inching onto his face. </p><p> </p><p>“So I was passing the time rearranging things,” Luke shrugged. “The flow’s better now.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, because Alex and I put everything back where it was,” Bobby said. “Admit it, you were freaking out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, maybe I was <em> slightly </em>freaking out,” Luke admitted.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby raised an eyebrow and waited expectantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, so I’m still freaking out a little,” Luke sighed. “I think she’s avoiding me for some reason.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex stopped pacing again, managing a brief smile even in the midst of his own anxiety spiral.</p><p> </p><p>“Funny, that’s what she said about you the past few days.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sat up straight, his thoughts instantly racing even more than they had been already. </p><p> </p><p>“Why would she think I was avoiding her?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex rolled his eyes and started pacing again. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe because that’s exactly what you were doing. You realized you liked her and promptly forgot how to be normal around her.”</p><p> </p><p>“As normal as you ever are,” Bobby inserted himself into the conversation. “Which isn’t very normal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugggh,” Luke groaned as he flopped back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. Unfortunately all he saw there were the rafters, no answers to his Julie problem. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby seemed to take this as a sign he should turn his attention to Alex.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to be ok, buddy?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head as he continued to pace, reaching up to adjust his backwards hat nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you guys ok not knowing what’s up with Reggie? His mom could be making him quit the band right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, there’s always room for one more in the garage,” Bobby observed dryly.</p><p> </p><p>Luke sat up again and reached across to the chair to try to punch Bobby’s arm though his friend managed to dodge his attack.</p><p> </p><p>“I was joking!” Bobby defended.</p><p> </p><p>After that they all fell into their own thoughts, Luke and Bobby following Alex’s progress across the floor with their eyes until Julie brought them back to the present by stepping through the garage doors.</p><p> </p><p>From there it wasn’t long before Luke knew exactly where Julie had been and why she went there. Unfortunately it also wasn’t long before Bobby was giving away that they had talked about his fears that she was avoiding him. Even worse it wasn’t long before Julie was calling him out on his promise to consider reaching out to his parents which he had honestly hoped she had forgotten about. It was all a bit of a blur after that but he was pretty sure she had tried to convince him using threats ranging from his own mortality to the fact that she could disappear and he had all but confessed that he couldn’t picture achieving his dream without her beside him anymore.</p><p> </p><p>So. </p><p> </p><p>That was a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Then the next thing he knew Alex was steering him out of the garage in an apparent rescue attempt. And the thing was, he wasn’t dumb. He certainly wasn’t dumb when it came to Alex and his habit of avoiding things he didn’t want to talk about through a wide range of tactics up to and including kidnapping his friends to use as a human shield. But he was still fairly grateful for the exit strategy even though he wasn’t prepared to admit that in front of Julie. </p><p> </p><p>Once they were alone on the street, Luke glanced over at his friend and gauged his expression. Alex looked oddly less anxious now that Julie had turned her well intentioned poking on him than he had when he was worried about Reggie’s supposed crisis. That didn’t fool Luke though. He was sure Alex’s anxiety hadn’t suddenly disappeared. It was just easier for him to hide it when it applied to himself than to the well-being of his friends. </p><p> </p><p>Luke counted himself lucky to be one of those friends. But that didn’t mean he wanted Alex pushing his own stuff down all the time. </p><p> </p><p>“So she’s after you to work out your family issues too?” He broached the subject as they started walking. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, except she doesn’t even know what my family issues are,” Alex said. “And I wasn’t dumb enough to promise to think about getting involved in a harebrained scheme to let her fix them.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not exactly what happened but that’s fair,” Luke grumbled. “For what it’s worth I don’t think Julie would judge you. For anything. But obviously I support you saying or not saying whatever you’re comfortable with.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shot him a grateful look.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks. And for what it’s worth I support Julie’s efforts to get you to re-examine your shortsighted decision to avoid your parents until you die.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke stopped short and slapped Alex’s arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Bro! What happened to the supportive moment we were just having?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex shrugged and kept walking.</p><p> </p><p>“I show my support through tough love. And in this case I agree with Julie. We all heard Unsaid Emily. We know you regret running out on your parents.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke knew Alex meant well just like Julie did but this was still the one topic guaranteed to send his emotions straight off a cliff. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t have a choice,” He said, doing his best to fight down his feelings. “My mom said to leave the band or leave her house and there’s no way I was leaving the band. Not when we were so close to everything we wanted.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex turned to face him and gave him a reassuring look. </p><p> </p><p>“I get it, dude. You know I do. I’m just saying maybe she’s had time to regret that and you’ll never know unless you talk to her.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate how reasonable that is.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Sucks for you doesn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke gave him a playful shove. </p><p> </p><p>“As always your wisdom is annoying as hell,” Luke joked before growing thoughtful again. “But shouldn’t we go back to talking about you?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex raised an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you mean we should go back to talking about Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head as they continued walking.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you just try to Jedi mind trick me? Wait...what about Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“I use it cause it works. But seriously, you don’t think it’s weird how insistent she is that we all make up with our families?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned and turned to examine his friend’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“This coming from Mr. Tough Love himself?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok. But what’s her hurry? And how come she’s managed to get most of our life stories out of us without telling us much of anything about herself?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke stopped short again and this time Alex stopped too. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you saying?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m saying there’s something weird about Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head, an irrational rush of defensiveness washing over him at his friend’s words.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe this. The last time we took a walk you were the one telling me I was crazy for even questioning anything about her. Now I trust her completely and you what? Think she’s lying to us about something?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex held up a hand in surrender, clearly trying to keep Luke from getting more upset. It was hard for Luke to walk back his frustration now that it had been triggered though. Wasn’t Alex encouraging him to confess his feelings a couple of days ago? What was the point of planting doubts now?</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I don’t think she’s lying just leaving things out. And that’s fair. I love Julie. I do. Not like you do but still.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke was totally thrown by that one word.</p><p> </p><p>“Who said anything about love?” He muttered awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>“I did,” Alex pushed ahead, not giving Luke’s denial the dignity of more attention. “So I’m not attacking her. Just saying I have the feeling she has a lot more going on than what she’s told us. And if we care about her maybe we need to take a page out of her book and push a little harder.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t say anything for a few seconds, taking in Alex’s words and trying not to let his knee jerk reaction get in the way of taking in his friend’s point. It wasn’t like the same thing hadn’t occurred to him a long time ago. It was just that the more Julie started to mean to him the less he wanted to risk pushing her away by asking her too many questions. Surely she would share more about what was going on with her once enough time had passed and she felt more comfortable with them? </p><p> </p><p>But what if she needed their help before that? Would she ask for it or just suffer on her own? </p><p> </p><p>And most worrisome of all...why had she mentioned the possibility of her disappearing? That was just a random example meant to scare him into action...right?</p><p> </p><p>“I think we should go back,” Luke announced suddenly, turning on his heel and heading back towards Bobby’s garage at a brisk pace.</p><p> </p><p>If Alex suspected Luke’s worries over Julie were the reason behind his sudden declaration he had the decency not to mention it. </p><p> </p><p>When they made it back to the garage it was clear they weren’t the only ones who had spent the last five minutes having a relatively serious conversation. If the looks on Julie and Bobby’s faces were anything to go by he and Alex had walked right into the middle of something a lot more fraught than he would have expected after leaving those two alone. </p><p> </p><p>“What did we miss?” Luke asked, hoping against the odds one of them would just volunteer the topic of their conversation. </p><p> </p><p>Of course he wasn’t that lucky. </p><p> </p><p>He supposed if Julie had confided in Bobby that was a good thing. After all, the important thing was she needed someone to talk to, someone to know what was up with her and support her through it. </p><p> </p><p>But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little annoyed at the thought of that someone being Bobby and not him. </p><p> </p><p>So that night, long after Bobby and Alex had left them and Julie was tucked into her makeshift bed somewhere above him...Luke couldn’t resist speaking into the safety of darkness. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>For a second he thought she was already asleep but then her voice drifted down from above.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know you can tell me anything, right?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause before she spoke again.</p><p> </p><p>“I trust you. But I can’t tell anyone everything right now.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned. Maybe Alex was right. He was suddenly desperate to know more about the girl he had inadvertently given his heart to. To prove to himself that he wasn’t crazy for doing so. </p><p> </p><p>“So just tell me something. Anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anything?” She repeated hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Five things,” Luke decided. “Tell me five true things about you.” </p><p> </p><p>There was another long pause. </p><p> </p><p>“I have a little brother named Carlos,” Julie said, affection leaking into her tone. “He’s a pain but I love him so much.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke couldn’t help but smile at the image of Julie being tormented by a younger sibling. He had always wanted a brother when he was younger though eventually his friends had filled that need. </p><p> </p><p>“My best friend’s name is Flynn,” Julie continued carefully. “When we were kids she decided we should start a band called Double Trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned at that information.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it fits you perfectly,” He teased.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” She called down though it was clear she was trying not to laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“My dad’s a photographer,” She went on. “He thinks I don’t listen when he goes on and on about what kind of camera he uses but really I just love to hear him talk. About anything.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke realized he was holding his breath, afraid that any sound could disturb the girl above him and the sudden rush of information she was bestowing on him. He sucked in some air as quietly as he could manage. </p><p> </p><p>“My mom was in a band when she was younger,” Julie continued. “A few I think. She was this crazy talented songwriter and I...I miss her so much. All the time.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke swallowed around the sudden lump that had appeared in his throat. Maybe Alex was right and there was something more to Julie’s insistence that they quickly fix their issues with their families. But maybe there was a simpler explanation. Maybe Julie  just knew all too well what it was like to want to talk to someone she loved and not be able to.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she knew what it was like when it really was too late.</p><p> </p><p>“She would be so proud of you,” Luke said softly, wishing he could see Julie’s face in that moment. </p><p> </p><p>“I owe you one more true thing,” Julie answered, her voice sounding suspiciously like she was fighting back tears. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” Luke said simply, his heart pounding irrationally at her tone.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you guys,” She practically whispered, the sound somehow still managing to almost echo in the empty space of the garage. “I really do. And I know I might screw up sometimes or push too hard or make things worse...but all I want is for you guys to be happy and have the lives you deserve. That’s my true thing. The only one that matters to me right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t say anything for a moment. When he did finally speak though his words were sure and steady. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go see my parents tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Did he still have questions about the girl above him? Yes. But did they seem that important in the face of the truth he had just heard in her words?</p><p> </p><p>Not even a little bit. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Big infusion of fluff and angst coming up. Cause I can only do both lol. But the Juke factor will<br/>be kicked into high gear if that helps.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. What they said to Emily</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This isn’t where I wanted this chapter to end but it was getting long and you guys have been waiting so I decided to split it up. </p><p>Thank you to my friend (who also reads this gorgeous mess lol) for the pep talk I really needed last night. You know who you are. 💜💜</p><p>Well, for some of you 2020 is already over. I have a few more hours. This was undoubtedly a terrible year but the best part of mine was by far finding Julie and the Phantoms, starting to write again and all the lovely people I’ve gotten to know in the comments of my stories. I can’t wait to keep the love going on 2021. I love and appreciate you all. </p><p>Ok, get ready for some feels. And this is nothing lol. You guys are not ready for the next couple of chapters. I’m calling that right now. 😂</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie thought she had seen Luke nervous.</p><p> </p><p>She had seen him flustered when they got caught in a particularly interesting moment in their interesting little relationship. She had seen him vibrating with energy in the lead up to a performance. She had even seen him worried that he and the people he cared about most might be jolted out of existence. </p><p> </p><p>But as she watched the way his feet started to drag and his face became more and more pale as they got closer to his house, she realized she had never actually seen him nervous.</p><p> </p><p>Until now.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey...are you ok?” </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t answer at first. In fact she wasn’t sure he had even heard her. He just kept marching grimly forward as though he was headed to his execution instead of a long overdue reconciliation with the people who made him. Julie reached out and placed a gentle hand on his arm before trying again. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke. Are you ok?” </p><p> </p><p>Either her touch on his arm or her increasingly concerned tone got through to him because he paused and turned to face her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure this was such a good idea after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie decided to see if a joke could shake him out of his current state.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course it was a good idea. I came up with it. And besides your...I mean parents love me.” </p><p> </p><p>That earned her the briefest of smiles. Point for the time traveling teenager. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” She tilted her head to catch his eye. “It’s a good idea. You’re going to make up with your parents and rock the Orpheum and sign with Red Rose Records and everything will be perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled softly again and his eyes darted over her face so quickly she almost wasn’t sure she had seen him do it at all. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Everything.” </p><p> </p><p>He seemed to give himself a small, physical shake before taking a deep breath and continuing.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok. Let’s go before I change my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got this,” She told him firmly as they set off walking again. </p><p> </p><p>Despite Luke’s attempt to take the slowest steps humanly possible they still arrived outside of the house she recognized from 2020 before too long. It was amazing how little it would change in the next 25 years although she supposed she couldn’t say that with certainty anymore. Maybe Luke’s death had led his parents to be stuck in a rut changing as little as possible down to the plants in their yard. Maybe what she and Luke were about to do would change everything. </p><p> </p><p>She hoped so. </p><p> </p><p>“My dad’s home,” Luke said as they passed a car in the driveway. “I wasn’t sure he would be. He comes home early on Friday’s a lot but sometimes not so I didn’t know for sure…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you said,” Julie broke in before his anxious loop could repeat for a third time. “That’s good. You can talk to them both at once.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” He swallowed hard as they reached the porch. “Yeah, it’s good.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie decided it was best to just get this over with before he could change his mind again. She reached out to press the doorbell but his voice stopped her short just before she made contact.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know what I’m going to say,” Luke said, panic evident in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and turned to face the boy next to her. She had no idea what to say to convince him that he could do this. She just knew that he could. She had seen him take so many chances, risk so much, stand up to undead magicians and aging rock stars. And more than that she had seen him be open and vulnerable with his friends...with her. She wished she knew what to say to make him realize all of that courage and empathy was in him. Although...maybe she did know. Maybe she had already said it to him once before.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes you do,” She insisted softly. “You’ve already said it.”</p><p> </p><p>His face scrunched slightly in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“You told me you wrote your Mom a song,” She explained. “Just think about how you felt when you wrote it and the words will come to you. And I’ll be right there with you the whole time. Trust me.”</p><p> </p><p>He examined her face for a moment and whatever he saw there must have been enough to convince him. He didn’t look away from her as he stretched out and pressed the doorbell with shaking fingers. He didn’t break eye contact until he stepped back to stand beside her waiting for the door to open. Julie felt him fidgeting and glanced down to see his good hand was shaking slightly. Without giving it much thought she reached out and wrapped her hand gently around his. The shaking stopped as his eyes dropped to where their hands were now joined then back up to her face where he shot her a grateful smile. Julie returned it before squeezing his hand trying to infuse all of her faith and pride in him into that one small gesture. </p><p> </p><p>This had been her idea but he was the one who had to take the risk. </p><p> </p><p>The door swung open and a man Julie recognized as a much younger Mitch appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening sharply as he took in the sight of his son. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke?”</p><p> </p><p>Before Luke could answer his name was echoing again from inside the house and then Emily was suddenly in front of them as well. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Mom.”</p><p> </p><p>That was all Luke had time to get out before Emily had yanked him forward into a fierce hug, seemingly completely unaware that Julie was still attached to the boy she had just grabbed. Julie stumbled forward a step before attempting to extract her hand from Luke’s only to have him refuse to let go leaving her in the very awkward position of being very close to a hug she wasn’t actually included in. Luckily Emily chose that moment to release Luke just enough to step back and take a look at him. </p><p> </p><p>“What happened to your arm? Are you alright? Where have you been?” </p><p> </p><p>She asked the questions in a rapid fire way, not giving Luke enough time to answer any of them even if he had wanted to. Julie suspected he would have been silent either way though. She knew he had missed his mom a lot but that didn’t mean he was prepared for small talk just yet. Not that a recap of the time since you had run away could really be considered small talk but compared to the things Julie would have to avoid telling her own father it felt pretty small.</p><p> </p><p>“We should let them come inside,” Mitch broke in, his words seemingly drawing her attention to Julie for the first time.</p><p> </p><p>Julie wouldn’t be surprised if she truly hadn’t seen her until that moment. Emily took her in with a surprised if polite expression before her gaze dropped to their still linked hands. She glanced between the two teens in front of her for a moment before reaching out to pull Luke in by his shoulder. She seemed to be afraid that if she didn’t physically pull him in he might disappear at any second. Julie couldn’t blame her really. It had been hard for her too when she first saw the boys again, suddenly able to touch them, not to just want to keep a hold of them all the time.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, come in, come in.”</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later they were all sitting somewhat awkwardly in the living room. Julie had managed to pry her hand out of Luke’s but he had very consciously sat beside her on the small loveseat leaving no room for his parents to get any closer than the couch across from them. Emily had offered three kinds of food and two drinks already though everyone had declined all of her nervous attempts at hospitality. It didn’t seem to be dampening her mood much though. She was staring at Luke’s face a look of blissful disbelief written all over her own. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so glad you’re home,” She told him. </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not...I mean, I’m glad too but I’m not home. I’m not staying.”</p><p> </p><p>The smile fell off of Emily’s face instantly and Mitch stiffened. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not staying,” Emily echoed. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re still 17,” Mitch said firmly. “This is where you need to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke was already shaking his head so Julie spoke up quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean I think we...I mean you...can work something out,” She blurted, ignoring the betrayed look Luke was shooting her. “But I know Luke had other things he wanted to say. To you.”</p><p> </p><p>Emily frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry but I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. In 1995 that was true. Minus a point for the teenage time traveler.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Julie,” She said while offering up what she hoped was her most polite, parent approved smile. “I...live in the house where Luke’s band rehearses.”</p><p> </p><p>Ok, that was more or less safely true in either timeline. </p><p> </p><p>“His band,” Mitch repeated, clearly attempting to keep his disapproval under wraps but not totally succeeding. “And are you in this band too, Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie and Luke spoke at the same time and Julie gave him an exasperated fond look at his insistence that she was in the band. His parents on the other hand just looked thoroughly confused. She couldn’t blame them. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m filling in while Luke’s arm heals,” She explained.</p><p> </p><p>“And what happened to your arm?” Emily spoke up, her hands fluttering in her lap as though they ached to reach out and confirm her child’s wellbeing for herself. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart ached for her in that moment. Emily had no idea how close they came to a broken arm being nothing. </p><p> </p><p>“I just fell,” Luke answered, covering for Julie seemingly without thought. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’ve been eating ok?” Emily continued. “Staying somewhere safe?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded, clearly still not ready to disclose exactly where that safe place was.</p><p> </p><p>The room lapsed into a slightly awkward silence and Julie took the opportunity to elbow Luke lightly in the side. </p><p> </p><p>He shot her an annoyed look but he cleared his throat and spoke anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“Look, I’m sorry I ran out on you guys. I know you must have been worried and I never wanted that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Of course we were worried,” Mitch said. “Your mother’s made herself sick wondering where you were.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed a little. She understood the truth behind Mitch’s statement but she didn’t like the simmering tension that was already making its presence known. This whole thing had been a lot easier when 25 years of grief and regret had opened their hearts to how little any disagreement actually mattered. </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said I’m sorry,” Luke ground out from between gritted teeth. “But it’s not like I wanted to leave. She wanted me to quit the band.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I was clearly right,” Emily burst out. “Look what’s happened since you joined. First it was sneaking out all hours of the night then running away. It changed you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, for the better!” Luke snapped. “And it’s not running away when someone gives you an ultimatum and you call their bluff.” </p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” Mitch warned.</p><p> </p><p>“This was a mistake,” Luke stood suddenly. “You still don’t get it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should all take a second…” Julie tried.</p><p> </p><p>Luke swung his attention back to her and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Julie. I can’t do this.”</p><p> </p><p>He spun on his heel and crossed the living room, yanking open the front door and leaving the house before slamming it shut behind him. </p><p> </p><p>The sound echoed through the room and Julie turned awkwardly to face the distraught couple staring after their son. Emily was already trying to get up and go after him but Mitch was tugging her back down by the arm and keeping her with him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he’s just right outside,” Julie offered. “He won’t leave without me. And for what it’s worth I know he really missed you both. It’s just hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what Luke’s told you but we just want the best for our son,” Mitch replied, emotion at the edge of his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me I get it,” Julie said. </p><p> </p><p>They looked at her skeptically and she continued in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p>“I know I’m young and I don’t have any children but I do know what it’s like to want so badly for someone’s life to work out the way you think it should.”</p><p> </p><p>“We love him so much,” Emily sniffled through tears.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you do,” Julie said softly. “And I know he loves you too. But if you don’t mind can I ask if you’ve heard him play?”</p><p> </p><p>Mitch sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Not for a long time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I have and it’s magical,” Julie insisted. “I know he’s only 17 but he’s found the one thing he was meant to do. Not a lot of people ever do that. He’s lucky. You should be proud.”</p><p> </p><p>“We were always proud,” Emily told her quietly. “Maybe I pushed too hard. I could just feel myself losing control and I wanted to protect him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know the feeling,” Julie said with a small smile. “But he’s not alone. He has the most amazing friends and a great band and he’s so close to achieving his dream.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re saying he doesn’t need us anymore,” Emily said resignedly, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“He’ll always need you,” Julie corrected. “But he also needs you to trust him now.”</p><p> </p><p>Emily nodded and took a shaky breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I should go after him.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie stood quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go, just...wait here.” </p><p> </p><p>There she went again, having what some might call wildly inappropriate conversations with adults she had just met (sort of). Still. She had to do what she had to do. </p><p> </p><p>She eased out of the front door and took a quick look around for Luke. She didn’t immediately see him and a momentary panic washed through her. He wouldn’t have really left without her...would he? Her grand plan to get Luke to make up with his parents hadn’t failed for good had it? Before she could spiral any further into her doubts she heard a faint creaking sound coming from behind the house. Julie followed it curiously around the corner, making her way into the backyard where Luke sat on an ancient looking swing set, kicking his feet against the ground and swaying slightly. </p><p> </p><p>She felt a rush of relief wash through her when she spotted him. He hadn’t left her. She could still turn this around. She crossed the distance between them and eased gently into the empty swing next to him, not saying anything for a moment. Eventually he looked up at her, his expression a little embarrassed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry you had to see that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve seen worse,” She teased gently. “Someone told me I ruined their life and left me standing alone in the street.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“Again...not my best moment.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mine either,” Julie agreed. “But it worked out ok, didn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s mouth quirked up at the corner. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it did.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie grinned in return.</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled at her expression seemingly against his will.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just picturing little Luke playing back here,” She admitted, pushing off slightly on her feet until she was swinging gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Little Reggie too,” Luke informed her, reaching out to give her a slight push as she swung past him. “We’ve been friends since preschool. The sarcastic twins came along later.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled as she dragged her feet to bring herself to a stop. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, now that is a criminally adorable image.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure there’s a picture in there somewhere,” Luke told her seemingly without meaning to lead the conversation back in a direction that reminded them why they were there. </p><p> </p><p>They both fell silent for a moment before Julie spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Could we go in and look for it?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“You heard them. Julie. They still don’t get it. They never will.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Luke I know doesn’t give up,” She observed. “He sees a closed door and busts it open.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke smirked slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“That does sound like me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out and grabbed the chain Luke’s swing hung from and tugged it a little until he turned to face her more fully. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you to have regrets,” She said searching his face for a sign she was getting through to him. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t,” He insisted, his troubled expression giving him away even as his words denied it.</p><p> </p><p>Julie hummed a little before starting to sing softly. </p><p> </p><p>“I should have turned around but I had too much pride…”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s face crumpled slightly as she sang his own words back to him. </p><p> </p><p>“How do I walk back in there now?” He whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out and gripped his hand with her own.</p><p> </p><p>“One foot in front of the other, right next to me.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke let out a shaky exhale but nodded. And when Julie stood and tugged gently at his hand he allowed himself to be led across the yard and back to the front of the house. Emily and Mitch were right where she had left them and they both stood nervously when she and Luke walked back in. Julie gave Luke’s hand a final squeeze then released him and took half a step back. She wanted him to feel that she was still right there with him. </p><p> </p><p>He had to do this himself though. </p><p> </p><p>“Dad,” He started shakily but his voice gained strength as he went. “Mom. I love you both and I want you in my life. But I can’t give up music. Please don’t ask me to choose. I know I can make you proud.”  </p><p> </p><p>Mitch and Emily exchanged a look then Emily stepped forward, placing a hand on either side of Luke’s face and stroking his cheeks gently. Leftover tears still glistened in her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“You are my son and I have always been proud of you. I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise. We still have a lot to figure out but no matter what choices you make you will always be welcome here. We love you so much.” </p><p> </p><p>“Mom…” Luke reached up to wipe away tears that had suddenly sprung up for him as well though he clearly didn’t want Julie to see them. </p><p> </p><p>Emily pulled him into a tight hug refusing to let go for several long moments. Julie felt tears burning at her own eyes at the sight. When his mom finally released him his dad stepped forward, patting at his good shoulder and clearing his throat as emotion clearly hit him too. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s good to have you back, son.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Dad, but I’m not…”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re not ready to move back in that’s fine,” Emily cut in, the words obviously paining her but her resolve strong. “But you will stop by won’t you? We have so much to catch up on.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded, still sniffling slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re actually playing a pretty big show tomorrow night,” Julie said. “We’d love you to come.”</p><p> </p><p>When Luke didn’t immediately chime in she reached out and poked his side. He shot her a reproachful look but took the hint.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I hope you guys can come.”</p><p> </p><p>Emily and Mitch exchanged another look before she answered with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be there.” </p><p> </p><p>After that they all sat back down and Julie just tried to keep her emotions in check as she watched Luke, a living Luke, taking baby steps to reconnect with his parents. It was still awkward and Julie wasn’t naive enough to think all of their problems had been solved in one afternoon. But it was a start. And this time around they had time to build on it. She just wished she would be able to see the progress. But that was a thought for another time. She figured she deserved to bask in her success for a few hours.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Luke said they needed to get back and though it clearly bothered his parents not knowing where he needed to get back to they didn’t protest. Emily approached Julie and surprised her by pulling her into a warm hug turning to whisper into her ear. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t do anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Emily gave her a knowing smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you did.” </p><p> </p><p>She turned to Luke.</p><p> </p><p>“Bring this young lady with you again. We like her.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a blush spring up on her face as she made brief eye contact with a bashful Luke before dropping her gaze quickly to the floor. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok, we gotta go.” Luke insisted, using his good arm to pull Julie with him to the door by her elbow. </p><p> </p><p>His parents stood in the doorway and waved them off, watching their retreating forms until they were no longer visible. </p><p> </p><p>Julie and Luke walked in silence for a few minutes before Julie broke the quiet with the same question she had asked him earlier.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced over at her, that soft, slightly awed look he usually reserved for when he was watching her sing written all over his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. That was perfect.”  </p><p> </p><p>He reached down and entwined his fingers with hers, not dropping them as they continued walking.</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t drop his hand this time either. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t want to. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just love them so much. 😭</p><p>Also don’t mind me, just picturing baby Luke and Reggie and sobbing over it. How are you spending your New Year’s Eve? 😂😂😂</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Totally normal, chill stuff</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It’s 2am. I’ve been writing this for 6 hours on and off. I hope it makes sense. 😂</p><p>We have a long overdue conversation, some cute moments, lots of Alice references (if you’ve read the book you should be able to figure out who Reggie and Alex are now) and a bit of a surprise moment too. Cause I like to keep you all on your toes lol.</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were almost back to the garage when Luke sucked in a breath as though he was about to speak, paused, exhaled and tried again. </p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about something before we go back in,” He announced, using their linked hands to bring them to a stop just in front of Bobby’s house. </p><p> </p><p>Julie noticed that he still wasn’t letting go of her hand. She wasn’t complaining. She knew they would have to separate in a few minutes anyway so she might as well enjoy it for as long as she could get away with. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” She prompted simply, looking up at him expectantly. </p><p> </p><p>He seemed to get a little distracted looking down at her but eventually he shook his head and seemed to get himself back on track. </p><p> </p><p>“I uh...wanted to go over the set list for tomorrow. I know we talked about doing Echo again but I think we should do the new one we’ve been working on. The guys have it down and your lyrics are killer.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie wasn’t sure what she had been expecting him to say but it hadn’t been something as mundane as swapping a song. “Sure. That sounds great.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sweet,” He agreed, nodding and continuing to  look down at her in a very distracting way. “Well, that’s pretty much just what I wanted to talk to you about. So.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie knew she was repeating herself but she couldn’t help it. All of this seemed very familiar only this time she had been so sure he was about to say something much bigger. She just wasn’t sure if she wanted him to or not. “Ok.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment's pause and then he was chuckling awkwardly and speaking again in a rush. </p><p> </p><p>“Actually no, there is one more thing I wanted to talk to you about. It’s...look, I know I’m not the easiest person to live with but I wanted to tell you…”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re back!” </p><p> </p><p>Whatever Luke had been about to say was cut off when Reggie’s voice, along with the rest of Reggie, chose that moment to appear from around the corner. Julie only had enough time to briefly regret the interruption and register a blur moving towards her before she was being swept up in Reggie’s arms and swung around in a dizzying circle. Her hand had been ripped from Luke’s when he grabbed her and the entire thing was more than a little disorienting. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, Julie, Julie! My hero!” </p><p> </p><p>Disorientation aside, Julie couldn’t help but give in to the joy that was practically radiating off of the boy who held her, giggling as he finally set her back on the ground. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Reggie,” She greeted him once she finally had enough breath back to do so. “You’re in a good mood.”</p><p> </p><p>“My mom is coming to the show tomorrow!” He told her excitedly. “She picked me up from school yesterday to tell me. We went for ice cream.”</p><p> </p><p>“Adorable,” Luke grumbled sarcastically, clearly still a little annoyed at having been interrupted. </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t blame him. She was dying to know what he had been about to say. Still. It was great to see Reggie so happy and know she had played a role in it.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, so she has some catching up to do on what I’m into these days,” Reggie admitted as he started tugging Julie towards the garage. </p><p> </p><p>He leaned over to whisper conspiratorially to Julie as Luke trailed a few steps behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously ice cream is totally still one of the things I’m into.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head but smiled and bumped her shoulder with the boy who had looped his arm through hers. </p><p> </p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you said to her but thank you,” Reggie said insistently. “She said she wants things to change. I don’t know exactly what that means but I think it’s probably good.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie gave his arm a squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“You deserve all the good things,” She told him, meaning every word.</p><p> </p><p>Just as they reached the garage, Alex emerged from inside, taking in the crew approaching with one of his signature fond but exasperated expressions. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s been checking to see if you guys were coming every 5 minutes for an hour,” He informed them. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie released his hold on Julie and shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“It didn’t feel that long. But I always lose track of time in March.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to shoot Luke a confused look who answered only by shrugging and rolling his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok...that makes even less sense than the crap you usually say,” Alex pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“It makes sense to me,” Reggie insisted. “I always feel like time drags in March. Or maybe it’s that it speeds up. Either way.  Although, that could be because I got butter in my watch last year.”</p><p> </p><p>“You got butter in <em> my </em>watch,” Alex corrected. “And I still don’t understand how you did it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was really good butter,” Reggie mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Where have you two been?” Alex asked, choosing to ignore Reggie’s comment. </p><p> </p><p>Luke stepped forward to stand next to Julie and she couldn’t help but wish yet again she had gotten to hear what he was trying to say a few minutes again. Maybe it had been nothing. Maybe it was better if it had been nothing. </p><p> </p><p>But that didn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach from insisting it could have been something.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, we actually went to see my parents too,” Luke admitted.</p><p> </p><p>Both Alex and Reggie reacted visibly to that information, exchanging a look with their eyebrows high on their foreheads. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s...that’s great, dude,” Reggie said, reaching across Julie to slap Luke’s shoulder, realizing at the last second that it was his bad arm and muttering an apology as Luke glared at him. </p><p> </p><p>“How did it go?” Alex asked carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“It started out a little rough but…” Luke glanced over at Julie. “It was good. They’re coming to the show too.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head disbelievingly, a slow grin stretching over his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, what’s your secret?” Alex directed at her teasingly. “Because I’ve been single handedly trying to keep these two on track for a decade and it’s not easy.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Being annoyingly persistent?” She suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“And super smart,” Reggie broke in.</p><p> </p><p>“And basically amazing,” Luke added softly, drawing Julie’s eyes to his and sending yet another blush spreading over her face.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not...it was just a...ok...you two are nauseatingly adorable,” Alex gestured to the pair in front of him. “But tomorrow is kind of the biggest day of our lives so far so maybe we should finalize our set list or something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Luke muttered, eyes dropping to the floor as Julie did her best to ignore the knowing grin Reggie was directing her way. </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Bobby?” She asked as they followed Alex inside the garage. </p><p> </p><p>“His parents figured out he hadn’t finished his English paper yet and said rock star or no rock star he has to maintain an A average,” Alex answered.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure he’s not just in there talking to Queenie on the phone?” Luke demanded.</p><p> </p><p>“Probably that too,” Reggie affirmed agreeably. </p><p> </p><p>“I should go in and drag him out,” Luke grumbled. “I can do that now that I’m not a missing person.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Julie placed what she hoped was a calming hand on his elbow. “Why don’t you wait 24 hours before you start using your newfound freedom to assault one of your best friends?”</p><p> </p><p>His mouth quirked up slightly in amusement at her teasing. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby has no idea Julie just saved his life,” Reggie joked as they all settled into their various seats.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Luke said so quietly Julie wasn’t even sure he had meant for anyone to hear him. “She’s kind of on a roll lately.” </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t know exactly what he meant by that but she could guess. Just like she could guess what he had been planning to tell her earlier. She just wasn’t sure if she should let herself. </p><p> </p><p>An hour or so later they had their set list finalized and felt relatively good about their preparation for the Orpheum performance the next night. Luke had been determined that they needed to run through all of the songs again, but in the end the others had managed to convince him that they could practically play the songs in their sleep at this point. Which was what they needed to make sure they got so that they would be rested for the show. So they decided to call it a night before Luke managed to think of something else they needed to do.</p><p> </p><p>He had already managed to rope Reggie into going to knock on Bobby’s door and remind him that they were heading downtown right after the boys got out of school the next day. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Julie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Alex asked, fiddling with his backwards hat slightly anxiously. </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>She followed Alex out of the garage ignoring the curious look Luke was sending them. The drummer led her over to the steps leading up to the house and sat down, patting the step next to him in an invitation for her to sit. She took him up on it, sliding onto the step next to him and waiting for him to let her know what was on his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“So...I can’t help but notice you’ve been trying to talk to me for awhile,” Alex observed dryly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed.</p><p> </p><p>It was true she hadn’t been exactly subtle. In her defense she was on a bit of a time crunch here. Of course, from Alex’s perspective she must have seemed pushy and strange. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry if I’ve been weird about it,” She sighed. “Not taking a hint or whatever. I’m impressed with your ability to avoid a conversation by the way.” </p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to you,” Alex explained. “More like when it comes to my family and my personal stuff I have to really think about what I do or don’t want to say and also maybe rehearse possible conversation scenarios in my head for a few days ahead of time. Totally normal, chill stuff.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds chill to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I also can’t help but notice that you’ve been on a similar mission with the other guys,” Alex continued. “Want to tell me what’s up with that?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in a nervous breath and tried to think of the best way to answer honestly without saying too much. She was finding it harder and harder to walk that line the longer she spent in the past.</p><p> </p><p>“I just really care about you guys. And for as long as I’m here I want to do everything I can to make sure you’re happy.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex tilted his head and gave her a quizzical look.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve said something like that a few times. Are you going somewhere?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat. </p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? I don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t get it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not that different from Luke was before today,” Julie said softly. “I want to go home really badly but I’m not sure how. Not that I don’t love being here with you guys. Cause I do.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex leaned over to bump his shoulder gently against hers comfortingly. </p><p> </p><p>“So what I’m hearing is that maybe we need to hold a life intervention for you Julie style.”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help but let out a half sad chuckle at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m going to let you off the hook for tonight but I will be following up,” He warned her, the small smile on his face a reminder that he wasn’t accusing her of anything so much as expressing concern. “Just because I have decided to give into your interrogation doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten there’s something up with you. One of these days you’re going to tell us who you are and how you got here. I have faith.” </p><p> </p><p>“I could tell you all my adventures that led me here but there wouldn’t be much point,” Julie tried to keep her tone teasing even though she believed what she was saying. “There’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex examined her face for a moment before shaking his head and laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, still curious.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I’m a ghost,” She joked, not sure what had come over her other than too long spent in a whirlwind of the impossible affecting her sense of humor. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you’re a witch,” Alex played along.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I’ve actually gotten that before,” Julie shook her head. “Maybe I’m a time traveler.”</p><p> </p><p>Ok. It was official. She had lost it. </p><p> </p><p>“Why would you come to 1995?” Alex chuckled . “I’d want to go to like the 1920s and see one of those old school magicians or something.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me...they’re overrated.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you <em> are </em>a time traveler,” Alex laughed. “Good to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you got me,” Julie let the conversation lapse into a moment of silence, praying that Alex would change the subject. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily he did. </p><p> </p><p>“So the reason I wanted to talk to you was I’m not going to dance around your questions anymore,” He started. “I’m gay. I’m not ashamed of it but I have to be careful who I tell. My parents did not take it so well.”</p><p> </p><p>Her heart clenched at the thought of the people he should have been able to trust making him feel like there was something wrong with him. She couldn’t imagine how much that had hurt. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for trusting me,” Julie said sincerely. “And I’m sorry about your parents. They didn’t kick you out?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“No, but they took every opportunity to remind me that “my lifestyle” isn’t acceptable to them. They think being gay means you’re automatically like some risk taking, morally questionable person. Long story short, it was a bad time.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out and rested her hand on his knee in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Alex.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok. It is what it is. They’re not going to change, at least not any time soon,” He said matter of factly, his acceptance of his parent’s rejection breaking her heart. “And the most annoying part is they think I’m living this wild life and I’ve never even...I’ve never found anybody. I probably never will.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t say that,” Julie insisted, giving his knee a squeeze. “I picture you with some super cute skater boy with long hair and a great smile.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex raised an eyebrow and grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know anyone like that?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie returned his smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Not at the moment, but trust me...I’m keeping my eyes open.”</p><p> </p><p>They lapsed into a comfortable smile for a few moments before Julie spoke up again, her tone more somber.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Alex.”</p><p> </p><p>He frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“For what?”</p><p> </p><p>She sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I told myself I would help all three of you reconnect with your families but I haven’t helped you at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head, grabbing the hand that had been resting in his knee. </p><p> </p><p>“You have helped me, Julie, with the family that matters to me most.”</p><p> </p><p>She scrunched up her face in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t get it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sunset Curve is my family,” Alex said firmly. “And don’t tell them this but they’re a pretty amazing one. And then you turned up and despite a rocky start and your lingering weirdness you’ve only made us closer than ever.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alex…” Julie felt tears burning at the back of her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“If you want to go home we’re going to do everything we can to get you there,” He told her gently. “But don’t forget that we’re glad you’re here.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie leaned into his side, one of his arms coming up to wrap her in a sideways hug. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you guys,” Julie said, still doing her best to fight back the tears threatening to escape.</p><p> </p><p>“We love you too,” He answered. “So let’s talk more about you soon, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” She agreed, despite having no intentions of actually following through on that promise. </p><p> </p><p>She fought down the guilt at her lie and tried to just enjoy the warmth from the boy beside her. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was all of Reggie’s talk about time earlier but she swore she could almost hear a ticking clock counting down all the time she had left with them. And she was pretty sure it was speeding up.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Luke was glad that Alex and Julie were talking.</p><p> </p><p>He really was. </p><p> </p><p>Except that sometime after they’d left the garage for their heart to heart something had occurred to him. He had been running back over the events of the day again in his mind, definitely <em> not </em>reliving all of the little moments where Julie had grabbed his hand or given him a soft look or done something else that left him a puddle at her feet. </p><p> </p><p>And it had all been going pleasantly enough, even if he kept having to fight down his own embarrassment at just how much he was enjoying this trip through his recent memories, until he got to the moment where she convinced him to go back inside. </p><p> </p><p>By singing Unsaid Emily.</p><p> </p><p>A song she had never heard. A song she<em> could </em>never have heard. </p><p> </p><p>That song went beyond having never been recorded or performed in public like Bright. This one was so incredibly personal it had taken him a month to show it to the guys. And she had just sung it to him like it was nothing. </p><p> </p><p>And he’d been too much of an emotional sap to realize how impossible that was. </p><p> </p><p>So when Julie walked back into the garage and Alex waved from the doorway indicating he was about to head home, Luke had dashed after him, dragging his friend down the driveway by the arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude! Easy! What are you doing?” Alex demanded as they stumbled to a stop once Luke was sure they were out of earshot of the garage.</p><p> </p><p>“I just had another epiphany,” Luke said quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“How exciting,” Alex rolled his eyes. “Ok, hit me. What is it? You really, <em> really </em>like Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Luke protested before backtracking. “I mean yes. I was about to tell her how I felt when Reggie interrupted us earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good for you,” Alex grinned. “So what’s the problem?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke took a deep breath. </p><p> </p><p>“The problem is it just hit me that she sang Unsaid Emily to me earlier. How is that possible?”</p><p> </p><p>The grin slid off of Alex’s face, a look of concentration replacing it.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, it must be like with Bright. She did see your notebook that day.”</p><p> </p><p>Look shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I wrote down the chords for my guitar, not the melody. How did she know what the voice part should sound like?”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you saying?” Alex asked. “Are we back to stalker? Psychic? Or…”</p><p> </p><p>He frowned and trailed off. </p><p> </p><p>“Nah, no way.”</p><p> </p><p>Now it was Luke’s turn to frown at his friend’s cryptic comment. </p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, just a random crazy thought,” Alex brushed him off. “Anyway, what are you saying?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke bit his lip and looked back up towards the garage where he knew Julie was, the light just visible from their spot near the street. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m saying you were right. There’s something weird about Julie.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*evil author laughter in the distance*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Act like you like each other</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this chapter is so late. I’m also sorry it doesn’t include the Orpheum performance. I went off on a couple of tangents within the chapter and it was getting too long. The showcase will be next chapter for sure. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ok. So do you have a theory?” Alex asked.</p><p> </p><p>Luke reached up to rub at the back of his neck awkwardly, not looking forward to his friend’s reaction to his answer. </p><p> </p><p>“Actually...I kind of do.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I can’t wait to hear this.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I know this is going to sound crazy but what if she’s like...my soulmate or something.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex seemed truly dumbfounded by his suggestion. Luke wasn’t sure he had ever seen his witty friend truly speechless but there was a first time for everything. He hurried to explain further before Alex could regain the ability to speak and decided to use it to mock him mercilessly.</p><p> </p><p>“Hear me out ok? She saved our lives and something keeps bringing us together and when we write together it’s like she already knows what I’m thinking before I say it. Maybe she doesn’t really know how Unsaid Emily is supposed to sound...maybe she just like feels it. Cause we’re connected or whatever. So. That’s my theory.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long moment of silence while Alex blinked and silently took in the speech that had just been thrown at him all in one breath. </p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed again. </p><p> </p><p>“Go ahead. Make fun of…oof.”</p><p> </p><p>Before he could finish his sentence Alex had pulled him into a tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>“For someone who is terrified of emotions you really are a total romantic aren’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke sputtered for a moment trying to get his bearings. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh...if I say yes will you let me go?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex pulled back and reached up to pinch Luke’s cheek as he tried to swat him away. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” Luke demanded.</p><p> </p><p>Alex sniffled a couple of times, apparently fighting back a few tears. </p><p> </p><p>“That was just the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say after dragging me down a driveway,” Alex emphasized. </p><p> </p><p>“So do you think I’m right?” Luke asked eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>Alex’s expression instantly changed to a more doubtful one. </p><p> </p><p>“I think...it’s an option.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke groaned. </p><p> </p><p>“What am I supposed to say when I go back in there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you shouldn’t rush into your confession,” Alex suggested. </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Haven’t you been the one telling me to hurry up?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex held up a hand defensively. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I’m not saying wait forever. Just maybe with the show tomorrow and all the questions around Julie...maybe tonight’s not the night. That’s all I meant.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke turned to look back towards the garage where he knew Julie must be waiting for him. He had been so close to telling her how he felt earlier. Now it felt like Alex was trying to talk him into taking five steps back. He wasn’t sure he could do that anymore even if he knew there was logic to his friend’s reasoning. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you going to do?” Alex asked eventually.</p><p> </p><p>“Good question,” Luke sighed. “Add it to the list.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Luke came back into the garage after having practically dragged Alex down the driveway, he had a strange look on his face. It wasn’t one of his looks she was familiar with but it fell somewhere on the Luke scale between “people can hear us play” and “you were spying on me”. It was a weird mix and it set the butterflies in her stomach off again though this time they weren’t entirely pleasant.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything ok?” She asked hesitantly. </p><p> </p><p>“What? Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t everything be fine? Fine. Totally fine over here. How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie stared at him in mild horror. That wasn’t exactly a good sign.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. Are you sure you’re good?” </p><p> </p><p>He seemed to realize just how badly his first attempt to convince her had gone. He took a deep breath and tried again, flopping onto the couch next to her. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. Just a weird day.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t deny that. Maybe he really was just still processing the fact that he had seen his parents after so long. </p><p> </p><p>“So…” She said cautiously, reaching out to fiddle with the edge of the blanket draped over the back of the couch. “You started to tell me something earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>His eyes doubled in size. </p><p> </p><p>“Did I?” </p><p> </p><p>She nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Before Reggie showed up.”</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed harshly.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh...I can’t remember.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sagged back in her seat in disappointment she wasn’t able to hide. She knew she should be relieved that he wasn’t about to blow up her fragile hold on her life in the past but that wasn’t how she felt. She felt...let down. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was examining her face carefully though she didn’t know what he was looking for. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you...did you have something you want to tell me?” He asked, that nervous edge she’d discovered earlier edging back into his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned. </p><p> </p><p>Why was he turning the conversation around on her like that? Was he thinking her reaction meant she had unspoken feelings for him? Or even worse was he starting to suspect something bigger?</p><p> </p><p>“No,” She said in what she hoped was a casual tone. “All good here.” </p><p> </p><p>Of course this was far from good. She needed a distraction. Feeling sudden inspiration, Julie reached out and snapped the familiar black marker up from the coffee table. </p><p> </p><p>“Come here. I think we’ve missed a couple.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke was still looking at her a little funny but he allowed himself to be tugged closer until she could pull his arm into her lap. </p><p> </p><p>“Missed a couple what?” He asked as she uncapped the marker. </p><p> </p><p>“Things worth remembering,” She told him, focusing on his cast which both allowed her to pick a spot to draw and to conveniently avoid making eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>The first thing she drew was a microphone with little music notes floating out of the end.</p><p> </p><p>“For our first show together?” He guessed.</p><p> </p><p>She chanced a glance at his face and gave him a half smile. </p><p> </p><p>“A way more important performance than that.”</p><p> </p><p>He tilted his head in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“Karaoke,” She explained, earning her a chuckle and a smile from the boy next to her.</p><p> </p><p>Deciding to claim that as a victory she returned her attention to his cast and started drawing again. She drew a few more careful lines before sitting back to admire her work. </p><p> </p><p>“My swing set,” Luke observed, his voice soft. </p><p> </p><p>“I just thought we did have a good talk there,” Julie shrugged. “And you talked to your parents after. But mostly it’s just to remind me of the mental image of little Luke and Reggie.” </p><p> </p><p>He laughed and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Glad you’re focusing on the important stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p><p>They lapsed into silence for another moment and Julie was suddenly very aware that Luke’s arm was still draped over her lap with her hand resting gently on top of his cast. She knew she should probably pull back and scoot a little further away but it was hard. Now that she could touch him she just wanted to do it all the time. She just wanted to remind herself that he was there while she had him. And it hadn’t seemed like he had minded. Hadn’t he been the one who insisted on holding her hand the whole way home? She wasn’t sure what had changed between then and now but she just wanted to bury her head in the sand and ignore it, right along with all the other realities of her situation she was currently ignoring.</p><p> </p><p>How she was going to get home.</p><p> </p><p>What would happen to the guys after she left.</p><p> </p><p>What she was going to wear to the show the next day. </p><p> </p><p>Well, mostly the first two but she did desperately miss her own clothes. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Luke broke into her thoughts softly.</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled a little and shook her head as she gently traced the cupcake on Luke’s cast with one finger.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? Wishing I didn’t have to wear Alex’s sister’s hand-me-downs tomorrow night.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke made a small noise of amusement and Julie looked up to give him a playful glare.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s so funny!” </p><p> </p><p>“Your dedication to fashion is just cute,” Luke said, drawing out the last word in that way he does that did things to her composure. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad you think my problems are cute,” She mumbled. “We can’t all wear shirts that are held together by a thread every day.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, respect the cutoffs,” He warned jokingly. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.” </p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” She asked curiously, still absentmindedly tracing the drawings on his cast.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s leave it a surprise,” He decided. </p><p> </p><p>She raised an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean in case your idea doesn’t work out you can pretend you never had it?”</p><p> </p><p>He laughed and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Pretty much.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, thanks in advance. For whatever it is,” Julie told him, finally stopping her tracing and gently easing his arm off of her lap. “You guys are always doing sweet things for me and it means a lot.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’d do anything for you, Julie. You know that,” He said firmly.</p><p> </p><p>She sucked in a breath. It was taking everything in her right now not to shake him and demand he tell her what he had been planning to say earlier but she knew that would be a very bad idea.</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” She answered simply in the end.</p><p> </p><p>After that Luke had suggested they go to bed so they would be rested for their big day. Julie agreed and climbed up to the loft hoping she would actually be able to sleep with everything that was on her mind. In the end she fell asleep almost instantly, the pull of her dreams stronger even than the thoughts weighing her down.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning Luke had gone to work right away on the idea he still wasn’t telling her about. He slipped out to make a mysterious phone call and when he returned he told her they were taking a drive.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She drew out his name warningly as he used his good arm to pull her up from her seat on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on Julie, driving with me hasn’t killed you yet,” He pointed out, dropping her hand and rattling the keys he held.</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“That is not nearly as comforting as you think it is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me,” He said, meeting her eyes insistently. </p><p> </p><p>And completely unsurprisingly...Julie did. </p><p> </p><p>She regretted it a little once they were in the van and on the road, when she realized she had let herself be talked into traveling with a one armed chauffeur for the second time. But Luke did an admirable job of getting them to their destination without any mishaps. </p><p> </p><p>That destination turned out to be an apartment above a bar just on the outskirts of downtown. It looked a little rundown from the outside but not so sketchy that she felt the need to get back in the van. Instead she followed Luke only slightly reluctantly inside and up to the door, waiting anxiously as he knocked on it. She wasn’t sure who she was expecting to appear once it opened but she never would have guessed the actual occupant. </p><p> </p><p>“Mo...Rose!” She exclaimed once the older girl appeared in the doorway. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie,” She nodded at both of her visitors in turn. “Luke. I hear there’s a fashion emergency.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie grinned and glanced over at Luke who was rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. She felt her smile widen even further before she turned back to Rose.</p><p> </p><p>“Right now <em> this </em>is what I’m wearing to the showcase tonight,” Julie said desperately, gesturing at the plain tshirt and jeans she currently wore. </p><p> </p><p>Rose frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Not on my watch you’re not.”</p><p> </p><p>She reached out and grabbed Julie’s hand, pulling her into her apartment with Luke trailing behind. She led her over to a small closet which was absolutely bursting with clothes, most of them covered in rhinestones, glitter and other customized details. </p><p> </p><p>A lot of them Julie recognized from her mom’s trunk. Some she had already worn. She reached out to run her fingers reverently over a few items. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, what’s mine is yours,” Rose declared, gesturing at her closet. “You can borrow whatever catches your eye.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to face this younger version of her mom, fighting down the swell of emotion that always threatened to overwhelm her when they were together. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you helping me so much?” She couldn’t help but ask.</p><p> </p><p>Rose just smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? You remind me a little of a younger version of me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart swelled at the words. </p><p> </p><p>“And lover boy over here made a pretty good case for why I would be doing him the world’s biggest favor,” Rose glanced teasingly at Luke who was hovering awkwardly a few feet away. “Again.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shot Luke a grateful smile before Rose was suddenly in between them, pushing Luke down to sit on her couch. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, you stay there. We’ll need your opinion once we have some options to try on.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re trying on multiple options?” Julie asked with surprise. </p><p> </p><p>Rose rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Julie. You think I’m missing the opportunity to guide someone through a makeover montage scenario? No way.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled.</p><p> </p><p>She and her mom used to love watching cheesy romantic comedies that always included a scene like that. Apparently her mom’s love of them had started early. She allowed herself to be guided back to the closet. </p><p> </p><p>Rose leaned over to whisper in her ear as Julie browsed through the seemingly never ending dresses and jackets. </p><p> </p><p>“Make sure you save your favorite for last. That way we can give your boyfriend a proper reveal.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie blushed and shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not my boyfriend,” She whispered back.</p><p> </p><p>Rose let out a huff of amusement.</p><p> </p><p>“Does he know that?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie decided it was safer not to answer that. </p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later her arms were full of possible outfits and Rose was ushering her down the short hallway to her bathroom so she could change. She came out in her first option a few minutes later, a hot pink dress with a lightning bolt down the back. She wasn’t sure it was her but she hadn’t been able to resist trying it on. As soon as Rose saw her she grinned and tugged Julie by the hand back to the living room. Luke had been staring off into space but Julie had his attention as soon as she came back into the room. </p><p> </p><p>Rose spun her around in a circle. When she came to an unsteady stop Luke was staring at her a little dumbstruck. </p><p> </p><p>“Well?” Rose asked, gesturing at Julie’s newly pink form. “What do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” He stuttered. “Yeah. Good.” </p><p> </p><p>“Helpful,” Rose chuckled. “Hang on a second.” </p><p> </p><p>She crossed the room and rummaged through a pile of stuff before standing up holding what Julie recognized as an old Polaroid camera victoriously. </p><p> </p><p>“Smile!” Rose instructed before snapping a picture, the film immediately popping out with a whirring sound. </p><p> </p><p>Rose shook the picture and waved her hand towards Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, next!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie obeyed, returning to the bathroom and trying on the next outfit. The process for each of the next several options was pretty much the same. Julie emerged in a new ensemble, Luke gaped at her in an unhelpful but flattering manner and Rose snapped a photo. By the time she got to the last possibility there was a stack of Polaroids beside Luke on the couch and Julie was practically floating on the high of playing dress up with her mom.</p><p> </p><p>She made her way into the living room wearing a shimmery purple dress and the same jacket she had worn the last time she played the Orpheum. </p><p> </p><p>“I think this is the one,” She announced, doing one final spin for good measure.</p><p> </p><p>Rose nodded approvingly, snapping another Polaroid. </p><p> </p><p>Luke swallowed hard and nodded as well.</p><p> </p><p>“You look amazing,” He managed to get out.</p><p> </p><p>Julie bit her lip and tried not to melt into a puddle at his words. Hold it together, Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, get up there rockstar,” Rose gave Luke’s shoulder a shove. “Let me get one of both of you.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke hesitated for a moment before clearly deciding it was safer just to do as Rose said. He hopped up and crossed the room to stand next to Julie, hovering awkwardly next to her before Rose rolled her eyes and took charge of the situation. </p><p> </p><p>“Act like you like each other, ok? Come on, that’s it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie stepped closer to Luke and leaned into his side ever so slightly. Luke seemed to relax almost instantly , bringing his arm up to sling over her shoulders and tugging her a little closer. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s more like it,” Rose encouraged, snapping two pictures for good measure. </p><p> </p><p>Luke gave Julie’s shoulders one last squeeze before he stepped away. </p><p> </p><p>“We better get back, the guys will be getting home soon and we’ll need to load up and head to the gig,” He said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see you there,” Rose said as she handed Julie the pile of photos she had taken. “I can’t wait.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie glanced at the camera in her mom’s hand and she was filled with a sudden desire to capture the rest of the guys with it. Maybe she could take the photos with her when she had to go home. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, is there any chance I could borrow your camera?” She asked before she could think better of it.</p><p> </p><p>Rose looked at the camera in her hand before holding it out to Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“You can have it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t hide her surprise as she took the camera.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>Rose smiled and gave Julie’s shoulder a gentle shove.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure. Now that I’ve found my mini-me I’ve got to look out for her.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt yet another rush of emotion wash over her.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. I…”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could say something that would probably be too telling Luke was piping up from the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, you coming?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m coming,” She called back as her mom gave her a thumbs up and a wink. </p><p> </p><p>Then Julie turned to leave the apartment, as ready as she could be for what was sure to be a memorable night. </p><p> </p><p>The only question was if the memories would be ones she wanted to hold on to as tightly as she clutched the Polaroids in her hand...or just one more night she was desperate to forget.  </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It’s always good to have some Julie and Rose time and Luke gets many bonus points for being an adorable sap. Alex’s theories might not be quite so sentimental though...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Everything Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Once again I’m sorry this chapter is so late. But it’s a long one. And honestly it’s 1am and all I can think about is how I know I’m going to wake up to a bunch of you just screaming at me. 😂</p><p>I think there will be a lot of thoughts on this one and I can’t wait to hear them all! </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>If Julie had thought maybe today was the day the guys let her help load the van she was sadly mistaken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys seriously are still on this damsel in distress kick?” Julie demanded, one hand on her hip as she watched Alex and Bobby struggling to haul part of his drum kit to the van. “I could help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t feel right making you carry stuff on a normal day,” Reggie insisted, jerking his head to draw attention to the outfit she had borrowed from Rose. “No way can we let you when you’re so...shiny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shot him an incredulous look as he walked by arms loaded down with equipment. Luke crossed the driveway next, carrying nothing but keeping himself involved. His eyes locked with hers as he passed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did he just say I can’t help because I’m too shiny?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke smirked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you are very shiny right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie meant to roll her eyes. She really did. But something about Luke giving her that little smirk and calling her </span>
  <em>
    <span>shiny </span>
  </em>
  <span>of all things had her grinning back like an idiot. Her only consolation was that if the way he stumbled on a nonexistent crack in the asphalt was any indication he wasn’t exactly unaffected either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the end she stood there and watched as they finished loading the van and tried not to laugh at Luke continuously getting in the way as he directed the other guys. When everything was loaded into the back, Luke placed his good hand on the hood of the van reverently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, Beatrice. I really mean it this time. You’re taking us to our destiny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath before turning to face his friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, let’s play for seats.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hang on,” Reggie said, glancing back up the driveway. “Shouldn’t we take a moment and like, say goodbye?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, we’ll be back in a few hours,” Alex pointed out. “Pretty sure it won’t be any different.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but we might be,” Luke admitted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our last day at Wonderland before everything changes,” Bobby added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke must have noticed the strange look on her face because he reached out and squeezed her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Changes for the better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie managed a small smile and Luke released her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rock paper scissors?” He suggested again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh just sit up front you two,” Bobby grumbled, tossing his keys to Alex. “Reggie and I will sit in the back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aww, Bobby,” Reggie reached out to hug Bobby who was already backing away towards the rear of the van. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nuh uh, don’t touch me,” He warned, walking backwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to cuddle with Luke the other day,” Reggie teased chasing after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex sighed heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rockstars in the making. What could go wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot Luke a knowing look before heading over to the driver’s seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke turned back to Julie, searching her face for any further signs of reluctance or anxiety or whatever he thought he had seen there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded. What else was there to do? At this point the wheel had already been set in motion. All she could do was hold on tight and hope for the best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride to the Orpheum was mostly silent, the nervous chatter the boys engaged in fading out in favor of the radio which no one sang along with for once. When they arrived it was still early but Luke had wanted them to be there with plenty of time to set up and have a nice long run through before they went on for real. He wasn’t taking any chances this time and everyone was under strict orders that once they went in the club no one came out until after they played.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was once again told in no uncertain terms that they didn’t need her help unloading so she wandered inside. It was strange to have so many memories associated with a place, both good and bad, both hers and borrowed. She had felt the most free she ever had in her life on that stage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had also felt the most alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Intimidating, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie turned to see who had spoken to her only to be faced with a familiar face. A girl she had only seen once but would have trouble forgetting if she was being honest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jennifer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s...well, whatever she had briefly been Alex had been very clear she wasn’t anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The secret is it’s just a little raised platform in a slightly grimy room,” The girl went on. “The only thing that makes it special is what we can do on it. Makes you feel kind of powerful, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie considered her words. They did make her feel a little bit powerful honestly, especially when she could remember so clearly what it felt like to totally let go on that stage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jennifer right?” Julie asked, trying to keep her tone neutral and not let what Alex had told her color their interaction. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Queenie invited me,” She answered. “Her dad’s finally letting her take the lead in some recruiting. If you guys work out she can start bringing in other acts. She wanted me to meet some people. So if you guys kill it you could make both of our careers. No pressure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She said the last part in a teasing tone but Julie had no idea what to make of that information or the girl who had imparted it to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m only in the band temporarily,” Julie informed her. “I’m still just filling in until Luke’s arm heals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be honest,” Jennifer said bluntly, turning to examine Julie’s face curiously. “I don’t get you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard you the other night,” Jennifer explained. “Your voice is a gift, but it’s more than that. You love performing. You’ve got a good thing going with the band. Why throw that away?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie bit her lip and shook her head struggling to hold in all of the reasons the girl beside her would never understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All of this just isn’t for me,” She said instead. “It’s not what I want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jennifer chuckled humorlessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet Luke loves that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Julie was definitely letting some annoyance leak into her tone now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke and I are the same,” Jennifer offered softly. “Which is why it hurt so much when he decided to hate me. We both want this. More than anything. Nothing else matters. Well…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shot Julie a considering look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or so I thought.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie ignored that comment and allowed her urge to stand up for those she loved to blaze to the surface.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Music is everything to Luke but he would never use someone he cared about to get ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hurt washed over Jennifer’s face briefly before she schooled her expression into a passive one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what they told you but that’s not how I remember things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let Luke think you liked him to get him to write you a song which backfired when he realized you had been lying about your music all along?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jennifer clenched her jaw and gathered herself for a moment before answering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t let Luke think I liked him. I did. But at the end of the day music was always going to come first. I didn’t need the distraction. And the song? I thought he knew what I was asking. He didn’t. That wasn’t my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I guess it wasn’t your fault that you let the guys think you wrote your own songs either?” Julie asked, knowing she was letting her emotions get the best of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just hard when she thought of a young Luke, already battling with his parents and being crushed by someone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jennifer shook her head, that hint of sadness sneaking into her expression again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When we first met they assumed and I made a split second decision to let them keep thinking that. I wanted them to like me. I was lonely. You can understand that can’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated for a moment, everything suddenly seeming far less black and white.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But the whole thing with Luke...he was still only 15. Don’t you think that’s a little young to be messed with?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was 15 too,” Jennifer reminded her. “At the end of the day I did what I did and I have to live with that. But that’s life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She glanced over and fixed Julie with a sharp look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you never have to make a split second decision that haunts you forever,” She said, arching an eyebrow. “And if you do I hope people don’t judge you for it. Break a leg, Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned on her heel and walked briskly away leaving Julie staring after her until a commotion on the stage drew her attention in that direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guys were dropping their first load of gear on the stage, joking and teasing each other as they went. Luke turned, clearly looking for her, and sent a smile her way once he spotted her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie did her best to return it even as Jennifer’s words rang in her ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After several more trips the guys had all of their stuff unpacked and from that point on things were a whirlwind. The sound and light guys from the club went over all the technical questions and worked out all of the lighting cues. Then they went straight into rehearsal, running through each of their four songs once just to make sure they had all the kinks worked out. After that they ate a quick dinner of tacos which Rose had brought them from her other job so they wouldn’t have to risk a food run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Queenie showed up around that time too, fussing over the set list and making last minute performance suggestions until Bobby finally silenced her by feeding her a taco. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would have been cute if Julie wasn’t so on edge and fairly certain she knew the end of that story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally Reggie’s mom and Luke and Bobby’s parents were arriving, leading to some slightly awkward but mostly sweet interactions between the families. Julie could have sworn her heart was physically growing as she took in the sight of the boys interacting with their parents, slight awkwardness and all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” She whispered to Alex as she looped one of her arms through his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex brought his hand up to squeeze her arm affectionately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you, my family is here. But thanks for checking on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced down at her and a slightly strange expression came over his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too bad your dad couldn’t be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie avoided his gaze too afraid he might see something there that would give away too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. It’s too bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie...is there anything you want to tell me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shot him a quizzical look. She wasn’t surprised he was still pushing her. She was just surprised he was doing it on this particular night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex, is now really the time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just rock this ok?” She asked hopefully, sighing in relief when he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like she only blinked after that and they were all gathered backstage, the hum of the gathered crowd bleeding through as they formed a circle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is it boys,” Luke said eagerly. “And Julie. This time nothing is coming between us and our destiny. We’ve got this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie could feel that Alex’s hand was a little clammy where it rested in hers and Reggie’s on her other side wasn’t much better. But the expression on all of their faces was equal parts determined and excited. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke was right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They did have this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke sucked in a breath and met her eyes from directly across the band circle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know what brought us together but we do know one thing for sure. You’re a star Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She clenched her eyes shut for a moment at his familiar words. There were so many echoes of the life she had already lived here. It was just another reminder that these were her boys, not another version of them, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was also a reminder of what it felt like to lose them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she opened her eyes again all of the guys were looking at her with gentle expressions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We hope this is just one of many shows you play with us but even if this is the last one...we’ll be looking out for you from way up there in superstardom,” He joked, even though she could hear the sincerity behind his words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” She all but whispered back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, legends on three.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all put their hands in and on the count of three they raised them triumphantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Legends!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then they were on the stage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was all so familiar and so new at the same time and if she were being totally honest she didn’t really have the brain power to think about the implications of it all too hard. Because once she was on a stage...with her band...doing what they were born to do...that feeling of </span>
  <em>
    <span>home </span>
  </em>
  <span>was really all she had room for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They opened with Bright again, Julie and Luke somehow managing to bring it to higher heights than any other time they had performed it. The audience was eating out of their hands from the first chorus, she could just feel it. Maybe this night could go right after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next they did Now or Never with Julie playing a minimal role, just adding a little piano and some backing vocals so the guys had a chance to shine with their signature sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their third song was Late Last Night bringing back a flood of memories from when Julie had gone busking with them, back when Luke had still seemed to hate her. It was hard to believe that had only been a month ago. She felt like she had lived an entire life since then. She suspected Luke would say the same if she managed to ask him in a way that he would understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their final song was the new one she and Luke had been working on for the last week or so. She had written most of the lyrics originally and Luke had helped her perfect them and flesh out her melody ideas. At first she had been reluctant to show it to him but his excitement had won her over. It felt like a gift to them, maybe her final one. One thing she could do to help them achieve their dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She played the opening chords of the song and started singing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It all started with a fall</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tumbling, turning </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From my lowest low to above it all </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Up is down and down is up </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fumbling, fuming </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like who I am is never enough </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Want to let go of the past but it’s grip is strong </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Want to be someone else but it takes so long </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And who I’ve been is a stranger to me too </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke came in on the chorus, first alternating lines with her then coming together in the second half in soaring harmonies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been weak</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I’ve been strong </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been letting go </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And holding on </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been looking back </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Towards what’s already gone  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been wrong </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I’ve been right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been making up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been picking a fight </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been holding on to you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too tight</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you still don’t know </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I’ve been</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stood and left her keyboard, grabbing her mic and joining Luke at the center of the stage. She moved around him, never breaking eye contact as he sang the second verse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It all started with a Dream</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tossing, turning </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Waking to stare at ceiling beams </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Up is down and down is up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finally finding </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I am could maybe be enough </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanted to let go of the past but it’s part of me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanted to be someone else but now I’m free </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And who I’ve been is who saw me through</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie forced herself to look away from Luke’s eyes which threatened to drown her in all the emotion she saw reflected there. She danced over to each of the other three boys in turn as Reggie and Alex added additional harmonies to the second chorus. Bobby held up his guitar and strummed it in a showy fashion as she egged him on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally she returned to her spot beside Luke for the final chorus, completely unsurprised when he abandoned his own mic to crowd in and share hers. Something was crackling between them, an energy so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. The emotions and passion and connection that had been building between them in two different timelines seemed to be building to a fever pitch as they sang together. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been weak</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I’ve been strong </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been letting go </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And holding on </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been looking back </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Towards what’s already gone  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been wrong </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I’ve been right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been making up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been picking a fight </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been holding on to you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too tight</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I want to let you know </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I am </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Can you see who I am</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I am </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I am </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who I am...now </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The final notes of the song faded out and there was a long second of silence during which Julie’s eyes stayed locked with Luke’s, their twin heaving breaths echoing loudly in her ears. Then a roar of applause and cheers washed over them and the spell was broken. Julie turned to face the crowd as the guys gathered around her, all of them completing a bow that was more or less in sync. When she stood straight again she tried to force herself to take in the scene before her just in case it was the last time she ever got to see it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A room full of people cheering for them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And this time her boys didn’t have to poof out. They were standing right next to her, real and alive and safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And in that moment, despite everything, she knew she would jump down that magical, terrifying hole in the floor a thousand times if it made that possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were people trying to talk to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most notably Alex and Reggie were speaking excitedly from nearby. Queenie had appeared near the edge of the stage and Bobby was practically glowing as she told them what an amazing job they had done. There were others too, people she didn’t recognize clapping and calling out for more. But she could barely hear any of it. Because the one person she really wanted to talk to in that moment wasn’t saying anything at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just staring at her in such an intense way that everyone else in the crowded room was quickly fading away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Luke was reaching out and grabbing her hand, tugging her towards backstage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you guys going?” Alex called after them but Luke didn’t seem to have time for his friend’s questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact he didn’t slow his determined steps until they were not only off the stage but through the door leading to the hallway with the dressing room. It was immediately quieter once the door shut behind them but somehow Julie’s ears only seemed to ring more as he swung her against the wall gently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so close to her, little puffs of out of breath air hitting her cheek as his eyes darted all over her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke, what…” She started, trailing off when she heard just how shaky her voice was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is the best night of my life,” He started, his voice as sure and passionate as she had ever heard it. “We just killed it in there and we’re going to get a deal, and those people could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>us when we played, and this is the best night of my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even the potent combination of her confusion and worry couldn’t keep Julie from smiling at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. It’s amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head ever so slightly before somehow managing to step even closer to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s the best night of my life and all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes darted to her lips and Julie sucked in a shaky breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His head was slowly leaning in and Julie felt her eyes demanding to slide closed but she fought it with everything she had. She brought her hands up to press lightly against his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke, we shouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled back but only a fraction of an inch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure we should. I’m pretty sure we’re meant to. Unless…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled back a little more and frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unless you don’t want to. I’m sorry if I got it wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she should take her wins where she could get them and just let him keep pulling away but something about the idea of him thinking he had misread her feelings after what had happened with Jennifer...it made her heart ache too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She reached up and placed a hand on either side of his neck, stopping his retreat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t get it wrong.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was rewarded for her efforts with a radiant grin as he dropped his head back towards hers. His lips were about to make contact with hers when she managed to gather enough of her wits to make one final attempt at doing the right thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke, I’ll hurt you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head instantly, his hair brushing against her forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was her turn to shake her head, his nose sliding lightly against her cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was the tiniest pause, the briefest moment during which it felt like multiple lives flashed before her eyes, all the ones they had each lived and unlived, dreams they had awoken from only to tumble back in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he whispered against her face, the puff of air accompanying his words sending shivers down her spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Worth it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then the last gap between them was closing and it didn’t matter that she wasn’t sure who had actually done it in the end. All that mattered was his lips were pressing against hers and her hands were coming up to cradle his face and they were smiling into each other’s mouths and it was awkward and clumsy and </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that she didn’t remember much detail for several minutes. It was more a blur of joy and hope and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Luke</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally though she shoved him away gently almost bursting out laughing at the offended look on his face. He almost immediately started reaching for her again only for her to hold up a hand and block his advance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should go say hi to your parents,” She reminded him. “And Queenie and her dad probably want some time with their new star too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke clearly saw the logic in her words but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear them. He grabbed her hand with his good one working his fingers between hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right there,” She assured him. “I’m just going to find a mirror and make sure I’m not a mess after performing and...that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke grinned, dropping her hand so he could stroke her cheek with his knuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful. Just like always.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie blushed and shoved him away a little harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, you have to stop that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just grinned again as he backed towards the door leading back towards the stage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t want to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re impossible,” She rolled her eyes even though all she wanted was to grab him and keep him with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew how stupid she was being she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. But she had lost so much. She wanted to take back this one thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something that would always be hers to remember no matter what. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed, bit his lip and then disappeared through the door leaving Julie to collapse back against the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was...something,” She muttered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was just about to stand up and actually go look for that mirror when something caught her eye at the top of the stairs across from her. It was a person but not just any person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>White helmet. Long brown hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Willie!” She shouted up at him and this time he smiled before jerking his head to indicate she should follow him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you can hear me,” She said as he turned and pushed out of the door leading to the alley outside the club. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, stop!” She called after him, sprinting up the stairs and bursting out of the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She half expected him to be gone since that seemed to be his favorite trick. Instead he was waiting for her, skateboard in hand, poised as if about to take off but not actually leaving. As soon as she emerged from the club though he dropped his board and hopped on, flying down the alley and towards the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, really?” She groaned before chasing after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She followed him onto the sidewalk, dodging a few people so she could keep his helmet in sight up ahead. She managed to follow him for a couple of blocks but never seemed to actually be catching up. Luckily he soon ducked into another alley and when she stumbled in after he was still there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hardly noticed his presence though because he wasn’t the only familiar thing in the alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was the dumpster she had seen when she first arrived, the stickers marking it just as she remembered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there on the ground, a darkness, too round and too deep with a strange pressure rushing off of it in waves. It was a hole. A portal. A weak spot between worlds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t…” Her voice sounded strange and choked to her own ears. “I just...we just...I have to go say goodbye. I can’t just disappear on them like this now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willie or whoever was wearing his face didn’t answer at first, only reached into his pocket and pulled out a chunky, neon green plastic watch. He examined the face, tapped it a couple of times for good measure, before replacing it in his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid you’re late.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he spoke the hole flickered in place before becoming solid again, the feeling washing off of it increasing in intensity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s right down the street,” Julie practically begged, panic truly starting to set in. “I have to have time. I’ll be quick, I promise!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Willie who was seeming less and less Willie like only shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you knew time like I do you wouldn’t speak of wasting it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hole flickered again. It became solid again but not for as long this time, flickering again almost immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie walked quickly to the edge of the hole, her heart pounding in chest and tears burning as they escaped her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please!” She called across to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and pulled out his watch again before muttering to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Time, time, always running out of time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he blinked out of existence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie returned her attention to the hole which was still alternating between flickering and its solid state. It became solid again and Julie took a shuddering breath before dipping just one foot in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought of her dad and Carlos and Flynn back in the future waiting for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought of her mom and all the signs that had once seemed so clear but now refused to speak to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought of the guys, naively celebrating just down the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought of Luke, whispering sweetly to her about the best night of his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She yanked her foot back impulsively and the hole flickered once more before vanishing with a shudder of that strange heavy energy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was immediately hit with the full weight of what she had just done and sank limply down to the dirty ground, a sob working its way out of her throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What had Jennifer said?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A split second decision that would haunt her for the rest of her life?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was pretty sure she’d just made one. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ummmm...so a pretty chill chapter where not much happened, right? 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Hugs and doors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everyone’s reactions to last chapter were so amazing and really made my day. Unfortunately I then started feeling sick and while I did finish this chapter...I’m not that crazy about it. That could also just be because it’s a bridge chapter and it’s predictably depressing. Hopefully it doesn’t actually suck. It’s 1:30am so I’m posting these later and later. Oops.</p><p>Next chapter will be more fun I promise.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Part 3:</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Off with their heads </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“But it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, “to pretend to be two people! Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!” Chapter 1, Down the Rabbit Hole <br/><br/></em>
</p><p>Luke could admit he was in a little bit of a daze as he emerged out of the door and into the backstage area. He had spent a lot of time thinking about telling Julie how he felt, and ok...about kissing her if he was being honest, but he hadn’t thought either of those things would happen like this. He hadn’t intended to drag her off the stage and corner her like that, he really hadn’t. But in that moment, on the stage when he realized all of his dreams were coming true...he suddenly realized that wasn’t actually true. When she had knocked him over back in that alley she had done more than broken his arm. She had set something in motion inside of him that had been rolling along ever since and now he wanted <em> more </em>.</p><p> </p><p> More than applause, more than a record deal, more than <em> music.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He wanted all of those things with her. </p><p> </p><p>And maybe it made him greedy to get everything he had ever wanted and not be satisfied with that. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t care. </p><p> </p><p>Not when she was looking at him like she might want the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly waiting another second to find out if she did felt like the stupidest thing in the world.</p><p> </p><p>So he had grabbed her hand, led her off the stage and probably said something super dumb and cheesy. It was all a bit of a blur. Ok, so he remembered exactly what he had said and he definitely meant it he just hoped his friends never got a play by play of his sap status from Julie. </p><p> </p><p><em> Julie </em>.</p><p> </p><p>He had kissed Julie. He had kissed Julie <em> a lot </em>.</p><p> </p><p>He was so fully absorbed in that fact that he almost ran directly into Alex.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, watch out,” Luke said as he dodged a collision with his friend at the last minute.</p><p> </p><p>Alex gave him a disbelieving look.</p><p> </p><p>“You watch out! Dude, where have you been?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke felt a slow grin spreading over his face completely out of his control as Alex’s question prompted yet another reminder of what had just happened. </p><p> </p><p>“Nowhere.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex squinted his eyes as he examined Luke’s face before groaning.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have known.”</p><p> </p><p>“Should have known what?” Luke asked in what he hoped was a nonchalant tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t play dumb with me,” Alex insisted, reaching up to poke Luke’s shoulder. “You’ve been back there canoodling with Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke let out a short burst of laughter before Alex’s glare silenced him. </p><p> </p><p>“Canoodling? Who are you my grandmother?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t avoid the issue,” Alex said pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok,” Luke shrugged, before feeling his expression shift into a goofy smile again. “There may have been <em> some </em>canoodling.”</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously,” Alex rolled his eyes and waved his hand up and down to indicate Luke’s whole being. “Just look at you. It’s radiating off of you like some kind of love wave. Everybody stand back! Here it comes.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s...not a thing,” Luke argued. “Besides I thought you would be happy for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“I am, for both of you, really. Just...epic fail on that whole “maybe now’s not the time to confess to Julie” thing we talked about.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke used his good hand to clap Alex on the back, hoping his joy would be infectious. </p><p> </p><p>“I remember you saying maybe I shouldn’t tell her before the show,” Luke countered, before leaning in to speak playfully closer to his still frowning friend. “It’s after the show. Relax, man! We just played the set of our lives!” </p><p> </p><p>Alex seemed to give himself a little shake and managed a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I know. They’re going crazy out there. That’s why I was coming to find you,” He glanced over Luke’s shoulder. “Where is Julie by the way?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sling his arm around Alex’s shoulders and started walking them both back onto the stage and toward all of the people waiting for them. </p><p> </p><p>“She’ll be right behind us.” </p><p> </p><p>As they emerged from backstage Luke felt yet another over the top, dumb smile stretch across his face and hoped Alex would think it was because of the adoring crowd they were about to interact with. </p><p> </p><p>And if his friend knew that the real reason had more to do with the girl who would be joining them in that adoration soon...oh well. </p><p> </p><p>He meant what he had said to Julie. This was the best night of his life and nothing, not even Alex’s tendency to start worrying at the worst times, could change that. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Julie sat on the cold ground of the alley for several long minutes staring at the spot where the hole had been. She knew she was crying but she couldn’t really feel the tears on her cheeks. She couldn’t really feel much of anything at the moment other than her pure shock at what had just happened. </p><p> </p><p>No, it was more than that. </p><p> </p><p>It was pure shock at what she <em> had done </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Or rather...what she hadn’t done. </p><p> </p><p>It had all happened so fast. </p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t intended to give up her way home like that. She really hadn’t. It was just that the thought of running out on the boys, especially Luke, with no warning was so abhorrent to her in that moment that she couldn’t help but hesitate. She had just needed another minute to think, to try to come up with some alternative that let her at least soften the blow for her 90s family before she left them forever. She had just needed a way to make them feel less left behind. </p><p> </p><p>Instead she had ended up the one left behind. </p><p> </p><p>She knew she should be devastated for the potential consequences of what had just happened, the ripple effects that could affect more than just her own future. She knew she should be in agony thinking of the pain she had undoubtedly caused to her loved ones back in 2020.</p><p> </p><p>And she was. She was all those things. </p><p> </p><p>But mostly in that moment, she felt very young and very afraid for herself. She had missed her family and Flynn before this moment of course, fiercely and often. She had been afraid of what it would mean if she couldn’t get home. But she had never let those things fully sink in like she had no choice but to do now. </p><p> </p><p>She knew she needed to get back, that the guys would be wondering where she was soon, that if she still left them frantic with worry tonight then what was the point of any of this. </p><p> </p><p>Julie hauled herself shakily to her feet, reaching up to wipe at the drying tears on her face. Apparently they had dried up as new ones didn’t seem to be falling anymore. She turned back towards the street and forced herself to walk, one foot after the other, each step feeling as though her feet were weighed down with her emotions. She felt like she was hardly moving at all and yet she must have been making good progress because it wasn’t long before she was back outside the Orpheum’s side entrance. She stared at it blankly for a moment, knowing she needed to go back in but having a hard time bringing herself to actually do so. </p><p> </p><p>How could she face the guys? </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the door swung outwards and Julie took a startled step back. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie?” </p><p> </p><p>It was her mom. </p><p> </p><p>Of course she wasn’t her mom yet but in that moment Julie couldn’t bring herself to care. She needed her mom and there she was right in front of her. She practically launched herself at the shocked girl in front of her, wrapping her arms around her middle and burying her head in her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Rose demanded, shifting the purse that had been hanging off of her arm and bringing a hand up to press comfortingly against Julie’s back. </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t answer for a moment, just breathed in the scent that was somehow uniquely her mom even underneath the unfamiliar perfume. A few seconds later she found the strength to pull back, raising her head and hoping she didn’t look completely deranged. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” She managed to get out, her voice still sounding slightly strange as it echoed in her head. “I didn’t mean to attack you like that.” </p><p> </p><p>Rose frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you can attack me with hugs anytime but you have to know I’m going to follow up by asking what happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in a breath and tried to think of what to say. </p><p> </p><p>“I just...needed some air.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose clearly wasn’t buying it but she seemed to realize it was going to take Julie a little longer to spill what had her aggressively hugging acquaintances out of nowhere. She wrapped a protective arm around Julie’s shoulders and pulled her towards the door she had just come out of. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Rose said gently. “Let’s get you a glass of water or something.”</p><p> </p><p>“But weren’t you on your way home?” Julie protested even as Rose led her down the stairs and towards the currently unoccupied dressing room. </p><p> </p><p>“Only because I couldn’t find you to congratulate you on that epic performance,” Rose assured her. “You guys killed it. I saw Dec, he looked really pleased.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Julie asked a little numbly as Rose guided her to sit on the couch. “That’s good.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose hummed in agreement and handed Julie a glass of water she had brought from somewhere. She stared at her expectantly until Julie finally took the hint and took a sip. When she had drunk enough to satisfy the older girl Rose sat down beside her and asked the question Julie was dreading again.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and found herself for seemingly the millionth time tried to find a way to tell the truth without saying too much. Would she be stuck doing that for the rest of her life now?</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, really. It’s just...I suddenly realized everything really is going to change after tonight. And I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of my old life yet. I’m...I guess I’m a little scared.” </p><p> </p><p>Rose reached out to place a gentle hand on top of Julie’s own, giving it a gentle squeeze. </p><p> </p><p>“I get that. I do. But some change is good. And if you find you don’t like the way your life is going you can always change course. You’re in control, Julie, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie swallowed hard as she let her mom’s words wash over her. She wished she could believe them as much as she wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>“You really think so?” She asked softly, emotion still present at the edge of her voice. “Even after what happened with Queenie?”</p><p> </p><p>Rose nodded firmly.</p><p> </p><p>“Especially after that! I could have taken that door slamming in my face as proof that it was over for me but I didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>She leaned in to meet Julie’s eyes directly.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s always another door, Julie. You just have to find it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that her mom was talking figuratively but the comfort she found in her words went deeper. Back in 2020 her mom had found ways to help guide her. Maybe Rose was doing it now without even meaning to. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe she could still get home.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, speaking of doors, that boyfriend of yours was watching that stage door pretty closely last I saw. I’m guessing that was because he was expecting you to walk out of it?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie managed a tiny chuckle though she didn’t feel much humor seeping through at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“He might be thinking that, yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose’s mouth quirked up at the corner in amusement.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Julie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t try to convince me he’s not your boyfriend this time,” She pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and shook her head, the tiniest half sad, half fond smile on her face. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure what he is,” She admitted. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s head over heels for you is what he is,” Rose teased. “And like I said you are in control and I support you in whatever you decide you want but I’ll admit, I’m a little biased. I like you two together.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” Julie asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>And something about that simple comment, something as mundane as knowing her mom approved of her potential romance was enough to give Julie the tiny burst of mental well-being she needed to get back out there. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess I’d better go find him, I mean all of them,” She said, standing from the couch as Rose did the same. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you feeling better?” Rose asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. Sorry again about the hug.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose shook her head and pulled Julie into a tight embrace. </p><p> </p><p>“I love a good hug,” She pulled back and stroked her hand over Julie’s hair briefly before letting her hand fall and stepping back. “Take care of yourself, ok? You know where to find me if you need me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t trust herself to speak, managing a nod before she tore herself away and headed back towards the main area of the club. The place had emptied out somewhat so she must have been gone longer than she thought. There were still a few people she didn’t recognize lingering around the edges of the room, and. Queenie was holding court from a table across the room with Bobby and a couple of others sitting around her. Julie didn’t see Queenie’s dad anywhere so he must have left already. She also didn’t see any of the guys’ families. She did however see them. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie, Alex and Luke were all sitting on the edge of the stage, legs dangling as they talked excitedly. Despite everything she felt a surge of relief seeing them looking so happy. At least she had done something right if they were alive and achieving their dreams. </p><p> </p><p>Luke caught sight of her then and his face absolutely lit up as he shoved off of the stage to leap down to the ground. He had crossed the room to her side before she had time to blink twice. </p><p> </p><p>“We were just about to send out a search party!” He announced eagerly. “You missed it, Dec wants us to come in to officially sign in a couple of days. It’s happening! And my parents didn’t seem like they totally hated us...I mean honestly it was kind of awkward talking to them but it’s a start you know? And…”</p><p> </p><p>He interrupted his own rambling comments as he took in either the look on her face or her inability to hold up her side of the conversation. Either way he frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie forced herself to muster up a smile and found it wasn’t as hard as it would have been a few minutes ago. It was still far from easy.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. I just got a little overwhelmed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did I…” He hesitated. “Did I push you into something you didn’t want to do?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie instantly shook her head, reaching for his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“No, that’s not it. I promise. I’m just really, really tired all of the sudden.” </p><p> </p><p>She dropped his hand and he instantly brought it up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to go home?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie forced herself not to visibly react to his question even though the ache inside of her cried out for her to tell him all of the ways that was true.</p><p> </p><p>Instead she just nodded and forced a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>Luke ran his hand down her arm gently, giving her hand one final squeeze before he was jogging backwards. </p><p> </p><p>“Give me just a couple minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie was happy enough to stand there as Luke went off to gather the rest of the guys and make their excuses to Queenie. She didn’t say much once Reggie and Alex joined her as Luke tried to convince Bobby to leave. She didn’t say much as they all left the club and headed back to Beatrice and she didn’t say much the entire drive back to Wonderland. </p><p> </p><p>That last part turned out to be the easiest. Julie simply pretended to fall asleep, allowing herself to lean against Luke’s shoulder, listening to the gentle rhythm of their excited conversation in an effort to drown out her own racing thoughts. She pretended to wake up just as they arrived back at the garage so no one would have to carry her, hugging Alex, Reggie and Bobby in turn before retreating into the garage to let Luke see them off. </p><p> </p><p>She had already changed her clothes and climbed into her makeshift bed by the time Luke came back into the garage and she knew he was probably concerned about her sudden exhaustion. She just didn’t trust herself to have a long conversation with him right now. She knew she would be too tempted to tell him everything she still didn’t want to lay at his feet. </p><p> </p><p>So even when he turned off the light and climbed into his own bed she stayed silent. </p><p> </p><p>And when he spoke hesitantly into the darkness she only clutched at her own arms hard enough to leave marks. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Eventually she must have fallen asleep for real because her next memory was flailing in the dark and making contact with something solid. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie...hey...hey, it’s ok. It’s just a bad dream.”</p><p> </p><p>The solid thing she had bumped into had been Luke. She thought there was a metaphor in there somewhere but she was in no state to look for it.</p><p> </p><p>She had dreamed that her dad was waiting for across the room but no matter how many steps she took she never got any closer to him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie shuddered and reached out without thinking about it for the boy who had climbed up into the loft to rescue her from herself.</p><p> </p><p>He came when she tugged him closer, despite the fact that it was too dark to really see each other, despite the fact that his cast was in the way and that there was barely room for her on the mattress let alone both of them. </p><p> </p><p>In the end he ended up mostly on the floor, his cast propped up between them while his good arm looped over her waist. She rested a hand over his heart just needing to feel it beat, needing to remind herself that despite how much she was hurting she didn’t regret her choice to save him. </p><p> </p><p>Then she drifted back off to an uneasy sleep, trying not to think about the fact that the only door still available to her might come at a high cost. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t actually like hurting Julie contrary to popular belief. She’s going through it but I wanted to make sure she’s not alone.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. A very merry unbirthday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I didn’t update yesterday and I almost didn’t update today. It was hard to feel like writing when such terrible things were happening in my country. But much like Julie in this chapter I decided we have to let ourselves have the things that make us happy in the middle of so much chaos and sadness in the world. We deserve that. Hopefully this chapter will be a moment of calm and happiness for you all. That’s all I’ve got. Enjoy. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say Luke was overwhelmed would be an understatement. </p><p> </p><p>That’s the word Julie had used to describe herself the day before and he could definitely relate to her choice. </p><p> </p><p>First the most important show of his life going off without a hitch then that perfect moment with Julie in the hallway then his attempts to comfort her after her nightmare the night before. Part of him felt guilty that whatever was going on in her subconscious had put her through such misery after he had just experienced more happiness than he ever had in his life. But another part of him felt a surge of protective pride that she had wanted him close while she battled whatever demons her sleeping mind kept throwing at her. </p><p> </p><p>He still didn’t know everything that was haunting her but he did know he would be next to her helping her through it for as long as she wanted him to be. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t think it was a secret either. </p><p> </p><p>Alex had certainly been able to tell just how dopey he was when it came to Julie. </p><p> </p><p>Even his mom, who hadn’t understood him in years, had seemed to almost instantly pick up on his feelings for her. </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Julie?” She had asked him knowingly after their attempt at small talk ground to a halt after the show. </p><p> </p><p>He was pretty sure an involuntary smile had appeared on his face at that point so that probably didn’t help his attempt at playing it cool. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s around,” He had answered simply in a failing effort to save face. </p><p> </p><p>His mom had only reached out and stroked his cheek briefly before stepping back.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a special girl, isn’t she?”</p><p> </p><p>And what was he supposed to say to that? Because the answer was obviously a loud, emphatic yes. Special was an understatement. If somehow going from the girl who had broken his arm to the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about in a month didn’t make her special, what did it make her?</p><p> </p><p>Reggie might have jokingly said it made her a witch but that was besides the point. </p><p> </p><p>What was the point?</p><p> </p><p>Right. He was overwhelmed. Happy, but overwhelmed. </p><p> </p><p>Not quite as overwhelmed as he had been when he had woken up from an uncomfortable sleep to see Julie’s thankfully peaceful face inches away from his own, but still overwhelmed. </p><p> </p><p>The news that in a few days Sunset Curve would officially be signed to Red Rose Records was still echoing in his head on an excited loop. He wanted to celebrate that with his best friends and he also wanted to make sure Julie got back on track to feeling as happy as they had the night before. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he could accomplish both of those at the same time. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Julie had woken up from a surprisingly restful sleep after a fitful start, she was alone. For a second she had blinked at the empty space on the floor beside her in confusion, wondering if she had imagined Luke climbing up into the loft to comfort her. Then she remembered that he had also snuck away before she woke up after the karaoke incident so maybe he just felt too awkward to face her in such close quarters after nights spent...what? Sharing the same general space? Almost cuddling? Sharing a bed which was really either a semi-comfortable fold out couch or a severely cramped mattress on the floor?</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was better not to put a label on such things. </p><p> </p><p>Luke might have had it right after all. </p><p> </p><p>Julie leaned over and peeked cautiously over the edge of the loft. Luke seemed to be missing in action not only from her side but from the garage as a whole. She slumped back against the mattress. Maybe this was a good time to take stock of her situation now that she was away from watchful eyes and had a little distance from the immediate emotional rollercoaster of the night before. </p><p> </p><p>No matter how she looked at it there were a few things that were undeniably true.</p><p> </p><p>Her best path home had been cut off last night. </p><p> </p><p>No amount of regret or self blame was going to change that fact. </p><p> </p><p>She and Luke had kissed. A lot. </p><p> </p><p>No amount of telling herself that she <em> should </em>regret that fact was actually going to make her do so. Not if she were being honest with herself which at this point seemed like an absolute necessity if she wanted any chance to fix the mess she was in. </p><p> </p><p>There was one other portal that she knew existed and she even knew someone who could tell her how to get there. </p><p> </p><p>She could practically feel the business card she had stashed under her mattress burning a hole up through her makeshift bed and searing her skin. She wasn’t stupid. There was a reason she had hidden it away as a last resort. Not only could Caleb not be trusted to help her, he could be counted on to actively hurt her if it served his purposes. But knowing all that didn’t change the fact that he was her only lead towards getting home now and despite everything she was in no way prepared to give up on that. </p><p> </p><p>So.</p><p> </p><p>Taking all of those facts together, a seemingly contradictory plan emerged. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t going to push Luke and the rest of the guys away. If she was being honest it had been too late for that for a while now. She was going to soak up as much of their love and support as she could while she had it and try to start gently preparing them for the day she had to leave so she never faced a dilemma like she had the night before again. And she was going to figure out a way to approach Caleb that hopefully didn’t get her cursed or worse.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that all sounded simple enough. </p><p> </p><p>Julie groaned slightly before forcing herself to stand and stretch out the kinks in her back from sleeping awkwardly. </p><p> </p><p>None of this would be easy but she was Julie Molina. She was Rose Molina’s daughter. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t giving up.</p><p> </p><p>Julie grabbed a change of clothes and headed downstairs to take a nice long shower. It probably wouldn’t wash off the weight of being a teenage time traveler but it might do wonders for her ability to face the world or more specifically one particular teenage boy. A teenage boy who happened to make her fight down a goofy smile every time his dumb face passed through her mind at this point.</p><p> </p><p>After her shower, Julie emerged from the bathroom feeling decidedly more human only to stop short as she was confronted with a sight she had not been expecting. </p><p> </p><p>All four of the boys were gathered in the garage, facing the bathroom door expectantly which would have been odd enough had they not been wearing pointy party hats. The fact that they were wearing the leftover hats from her birthday made the whole scene decidedly weird. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh...did I miss something?” Julie asked as she took in their excited expressions. “It’s not my birthday. We celebrated that already, remember?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, but it’s your <em> unbirthday </em>,” Luke announced proudly. </p><p> </p><p>“Turns out it’s actually all of our unbirthdays,” Reggie added. “What are the odds?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the whole po...ok, never mind,” He turned his attention to Julie. “Surprise!”</p><p> </p><p>“Unbirthday?” Julie repeated with amusement. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, like in Alice in Wonderland,” Luke explained hurriedly. “I figured we have plenty to celebrate and we could all use a day to just have fun.” </p><p> </p><p>“Unbirthdays aren’t from Alice in Wonderland,” Bobby contradicted. “They’re from Through the Looking Glass.”</p><p> </p><p>“They were in the movie,” Reggie pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>Luke and Alex both groaned in unison as Bobby’s expression turned even more agitated. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude, we don’t bring up movie adaptations in front of Bobby,” Alex lectured Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“Disney wouldn’t know a quality story if it hit them over the head,” Bobby ranted. “Oh I know, let’s take this classic and totally destroy it for kicks!”</p><p> </p><p>“See what you did?” Luke muttered in Reggie’s direction who was holding up his hands in surrender.</p><p> </p><p>Julie burst out laughing. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help it.</p><p> </p><p>She loved them so much and it was so freeing to have given up on trying to keep herself from showing it.</p><p> </p><p>They were also ridiculous, but that was part of their charm. </p><p> </p><p>Her laughter drew Luke’s attention back to her and he grinned proudly as though he could take personal credit for her seemingly good mood. And as their eyes locked for a moment she couldn’t deny he wasn’t entirely wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re doing it again,” Reggie stage whispered, snapping Julie and Luke out of their moment.</p><p> </p><p>“The point is,” Luke jumped in with an awkward chuckle. “We’re going to get out of here and have a good time. If you’re up for it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie trailed her eyes down the line of all four of them, in their pointy hats as they jostled with each other playfully. Luke was watching her hopefully. Reggie was poking Bobby’s side as the other boy did his best to swat him aside. Alex was shifting from foot to foot, looking a little less relaxed than the others but still offering her a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m up for it,” She said finally.</p><p> </p><p>Luke bounced a little on his heels at the news and Reggie held out his hand for a high five which Bobby grudgingly gave him. </p><p> </p><p>“So has anyone decided where we’re actually going?” Alex asked.</p><p> </p><p>“The beach?” Luke suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“The arcade?” Alex gave Luke a teasing look which was ignored. </p><p> </p><p>“Ice cream!” Reggie exclaimed. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude, it’s 10am,” Bobby reminded his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, so we have breakfast sundaes then,” Reggie said as though it were obvious. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not a thing...ok...can we go now?” Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled before waving her hand towards the doors. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go, you dorks,” Luke teased, practically shoving his friends outside, each of them removing and tossing aside their hats as they went.</p><p> </p><p>They started walking towards the beach, compromising by promising Reggie they could get ice cream at a more reasonable hour. Alex and Bobby were leading the way and Luke and Julie were in the back with Reggie bouncing excitedly between both groups like a puppy happy to be taking a walk. </p><p> </p><p>“Could you stop that?” Bobby demanded of Reggie who had just run up and gripped the other boy’s shoulders for leverage so he could jump into the air for no discernible reason. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just a good day!”’ Reggie offered in way of an explanation, his cheer not at all diminished by Bobby’s complaint. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby’s just grumpy because he wanted to invite Queenie and Luke said no,” Alex explained. </p><p> </p><p>Julie shot Luke a questioning look.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I like Queenie as much as you can like anyone with a terrifying amount of power over your career,” Luke insisted. “I just said today is for Sunset Curve only.” </p><p> </p><p>“Even temporary members?” Julie asked, hoping Bobby wouldn’t be annoyed that she had been allowed to come along when Queenie hadn’t been.</p><p> </p><p>In the end she shouldn’t have worried.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Julie,” Bobby called back to her teasingly. “You’re still stuck with us for now.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt Luke stiffen slightly next to her when Bobby told her to shut up but he relaxed when Bobby threw a grin over his shoulder proving that he had been joking.</p><p> </p><p>“Sunset Curve, soon to be superstars,” Julie announced happily. “I’m honored.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell your friends!” Reggie chimed in.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they made it to the beach they were all so busy chattering and teasing each other that Julie hardly had time to focus on the events of the previous evening and all the looming consequences. She knew it could be argued that she was in denial, that she was choosing to ignore her problems in favor of basking in the glow of her friend's company. </p><p> </p><p>But so what if she was?</p><p> </p><p>She had already cried over what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>She had already spent half the night torturing herself with nightmares. </p><p> </p><p>And she had already made a plan, vague and scary as it was, to try to get home. </p><p> </p><p>So she would let herself have this day. With them. </p><p> </p><p>She deserved that. </p><p> </p><p>So now here she was, sitting on the beach watching as all four guys chased each other around, tossing a frisbee that they had made appear magically from somewhere. Julie had joined them for a bit before collapsing in happy exhaustion, pulling off her shoes and socks so she could bury her toes in the sand. </p><p> </p><p>Luke tossed the frisbee down the beach and Alex and Bobby both ran to catch it colliding and tumbling to the sand on top of each other. </p><p> </p><p>“Dog pile!” Reggie called before throwing himself on top of his groaning and complaining friends. </p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled and shook her head as Luke abandoned the game and jogged over to drop to the ground next her. </p><p> </p><p>“They’re having fun, huh?” Julie observed as she watched their friends hauling themselves to their feet and playfully arguing over whose fault the mishap had been. </p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced over at her with a soft look. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you?” He asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to meet his gaze and found herself mustering up a genuine smile that wasn’t strained like she would have predicted. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I am. Thanks for this.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke ducked his head slightly as though embarrassed by her comment but he glanced back up quickly and he looked pleased. </p><p> </p><p>“We all wanted to celebrate and relax,” Luke shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head and reached out to poke his good arm playfully.</p><p> </p><p>“Just accept the gratitude ok?”</p><p> </p><p>The corner of his mouth quirked up in fond amusement. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok.”</p><p> </p><p>She started to drop her hand but before she could pull away completely he caught it in his, weaving his fingers in between hers before lowering their joined hands back to the sand. Julie felt butterflies erupt in her stomach at the simple gesture. Even though they had done it numerous times now, holding hands with a very much alive Luke Patterson would probably never stop feeling like a tiny miracle. The tingly, empty sensation as her hand passed through his was never far from her mind and this warm and soft alternative was still something to be treasured. </p><p> </p><p>Even if she was very aware that the rest of the band could look over and see their display at any time. </p><p> </p><p>Oh well.</p><p> </p><p>She deserved this too.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later Reggie abandoned the game too, approaching their spot and flopping down onto the sand flat on his back. He ended up with his head directly on top of their linked hands earning him a shove from Julie and a grunt from Luke. He rolled over onto his side with a pouty expression before noticing the hand holding.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys! They’re being cute again!” He called over to the other two. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Luke hissed, dropping Julie’s hand to try to cover Reggie’s mouth.</p><p> </p><p>He only succeeded in engaging in a halfhearted wrestling match with his friend and making Julie laugh so hard she ended up laying back on the sand and covering her eyes with her arm while she recovered. </p><p> </p><p>Things quieted down after another minute or so and Julie felt someone gently peeling her arm away from her face. When her vision cleared Luke was leaning over her a sweet smile stretching across his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where did Reggie go?” She asked softly, having a hard time looking away from the eyes still hovering over her.</p><p> </p><p>“To tell Alex and Bobby it’s time for ice cream.”</p><p> </p><p>He rolled his eyes but his smile remained firmly in place. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” He acknowledged, his voice so soft it was practically a whisper. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to have to let me up. I want ice cream too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right,” Luke’s face reddened and he sat up and moved to the side, allowing her to push herself up. </p><p> </p><p>By the time they had both stood the other three were waiting, watching them knowingly but luckily choosing not to comment for the time being. They headed to the nearby ice cream shop, Julie doing her best not to just focus on the fact that Luke’s hand was brushing hers occasionally as they walked. </p><p> </p><p>She ordered her two scoops of Strawberry in a waffle cone and waited while the guys made their selections. Alex had gone straight for vanilla, saying that where some people saw a boring flavor he saw comforting reliability. Bobby went for pistachio and Luke for cookie dough, both making fun of each other’s choices. Reggie tried five different samples, went back and forth for a solid five minutes, and when finally pushed to choose, ordered one scoop of chocolate and one scoop of an unknown red, yellow and blue concoction with sprinkles covering the whole sugary monstrosity.</p><p> </p><p>They took their cones to go, starting to walk slowly in the direction of the arcade. Several minutes later just as the arcade came into view Julie licked at the remnants of her cone and shivered at the cold sensation. Reggie was running ahead dragging Bobby with him. Alex followed close behind, hand in his pockets shaking his head at his friend’s antics. Luke hung back. His own ice cream had been finished remarkably quickly so he just stood in a falsely causal stance off to the side as she took her final bite. </p><p> </p><p>Julie licked her lips, savoring the last bits of sweetness. It had been a long time since she got to enjoy a simple pleasure like an ice cream cone. She had to admit, Reggie was on to something.</p><p> </p><p> It was hard to despair about your place in the world when you were eating ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Luke was grabbing her hand and tugging her around the corner out of sight of the arcade entrance. Before she could react to his unexpected action he was placing his good hand gently on her cheek and tilting her head up. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” She thought rather dumbly as she realized what was about to happen just as his head lowered and his lips pressed against hers. </p><p> </p><p>She could have been annoyed that he had dragged her off like that again but the truth was that she got it. Because as soon as they started kissing again she had a hard time remembering why they had ever stopped.</p><p> </p><p>The heat from his palm felt like it was branding her cheek but in a way that felt soothing rather than painful. His lips moved insistently but not aggressively against hers and she returned the motions, stepping closer to wrap her arms around his neck seemingly without thinking. He tasted like sugar and his lips were slightly sticky but not in an unpleasant way. It was still an innocent kiss but it was right on the border of <em> not </em>being so innocent and Julie was very aware that they were on the street right around the corner from all of their friends. She pressed close to him for one last moment before stepping back, laughing at the way his face chased hers before he seemed to realize what he was doing and stood back.</p><p> </p><p>“Was that ok?” He asked, suddenly seeming impossibly young and unsure as he searched her face for disapproval. </p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t exactly your best timing,” Julie pointed out before breaking into a smile against her will. “But yeah. It was ok.” </p><p> </p><p>His face instantly transitioned into a grin and she couldn’t resist rising up onto her tiptoes to leave a quick peck on that smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Now come on, we’re not exactly being subtle and they’re already so annoying about it,” Julie laughed, grabbing his hand and tugging him back towards the arcade. </p><p> </p><p>After a couple of hours at the arcade the gang was first finally ready to head back to Bobby’s. They were already close to Reggie’s house so he said goodbye with a tight hug for Julie and headed off on his own. The other three started walking back towards Bobby’s with Bobby promising to give Alex a ride home in the van once they got there since they were all dragging a little by then. Julie was especially starting to feel the effects of being on her feet all day. It had been awhile since she did more than pace around a garage and definitely since she had covered as much ground as they had that day. Luke and Bobby were bickering over which songs they should record first once their deal was official while Alex and Julie fell further and further behind. Alex actually didn’t seem that tired and she suspected he was just keeping her company. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh,” She groaned. “I think I’m getting a blister.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex looked over at her and frowned before running a couple of steps in front of her and bending down. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” She asked, coming to a halt in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“Hop on,” He instructed. </p><p> </p><p>She thought about refusing his offer but she really was tired. She reached up and placed her hands on his shoulders, having to fully jump to get on his back even with him leaning over. His arms came up to secure her legs and she looped her arms around his neck, leaning her head against his as they set off again.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Alex,” She said sincerely, giving him a little squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Anytime,” He told her, adjusting his grip slightly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie was so comfortable on the drummer’s back she started to feel quite drowsy. She wasn’t sleeping but she was starting to lose  track of reality just a bit, which was her only excuse for what she said next.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you ever give Willie a piggyback?”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew she had just made a huge mistake. Her only hope was that maybe he hadn’t heard her.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s Willie?” Alex asked in obvious confusion. </p><p> </p><p>Julie stiffened. So much for not hearing her then.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, no one. Someone I used to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“So why did you ask if I ever carried him on my back?” Alex asked insistently.</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t say anything for a moment as she scrambled for a plausible explanation. </p><p> </p><p>“Look, Julie I’m going to level with you. I know something’s going on with you. It’s kind of obvious.”</p><p> </p><p>She cringed, suddenly very glad that he couldn’t see her face at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“And I know you probably think you’re protecting us or something by not pulling us into your problems but I swear the anxiety of knowing what’s up couldn’t be more than the anxiety spiral I’ve been in the past week or so not knowing.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie turned over his words in her mind for a moment. She couldn’t believe it but she was considering actually telling him the truth. She had to start working towards getting home and she could use an ally. But could she really lay all of this at his feet? Was that fair? Would it completely destroy the future she had been working so hard to build for them?</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Julie…” </p><p> </p><p>She took a deep shuddering breath. Now or never. </p><p> </p><p>“I met you guys before the night Luke broke his arm. In the future as ghosts. You all died the night of the first Orpheum show, those tainted hotdogs. I came back to save you.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex almost dropped her and she scrambled for purchase as she dropped several inches down his back before he caught her and hoisted her up again.</p><p> </p><p>“Time traveler?”</p><p> </p><p>“Time traveler.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause before Julie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t believe me, do you?”</p><p> </p><p>When Alex answered his voice was shaky. </p><p> </p><p>“Worse. I do.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And Alex joins team teenage time traveler...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Big freaking change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Anyone else just watching the news 24/7 and pulling an Alex of being deeply anxious but also unable to stop thinking about things?? Just me? 🙃</p><p>Anyway. Hope you guys will enjoy Alex and Julie talking. Things really pick up from here! </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I know this is a lot,” Julie said, her heart beating out a rushing rhythm against Alex’s back. “I never intended to tell you guys it’s just gotten so out of control and I could use some help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I’m going to help you, Julie,” Alex said instantly. “I don’t know what the problem is but...did you say you met us as ghosts?” </p><p> </p><p>His voice rose to an almost squeaky level on the last word.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we circle back to that cause I’m having a hard time processing...I feel a little lightheaded.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shh,” Julie hissed suddenly terrified that Luke or Bobby would overhear Alex’s rambling. “You better put me down now.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex instead simply shifted her weight and took a deep breath. </p><p> </p><p>“No, no, I’m good. Totally good. So good.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t seem good,” Julie cringed. </p><p> </p><p>It had only been a couple of minutes and she was already starting to think she had just made a terrible mistake. If Alex had a breakdown right now and Luke and Bobby witnessed it things would start unraveling for her incredibly quickly. She knew they would want to help her too but she also knew she was barely holding it together as it was. She needed Luke to be the guy whose face lit up every time he saw her, not someone who tore his own heart to pieces trying to get her home. Maybe it was selfish in a way to deny him that chance to make his own decision and help her but she just wasn’t sure she would have the strength to work towards leaving if she had to see the pain of it on his face. </p><p> </p><p>So she really needed Alex to hold it together.</p><p> </p><p>“I am,” Alex insisted, though his voice didn’t exactly back him up on that. “But I have questions. So many questions.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll find an excuse to talk alone once we get back to Bobby’s,” Julie assured him, their mutual anxiety almost buzzing in the air. “Just wait until then, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Got it, no problem, just wait a few minutes to find out about your own death and subsequent ghosting, no biggie.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie would have reached up to slap herself in the forehead at that but she didn’t exactly trust Alex to keep her off the ground at the moment so she was holding on for dear life. She was just considering demanding to be put down again when Luke turned to look for them, having seemingly finally realized that she and Alex had fallen behind. He clapped Bobby on the shoulder to get him to wait before jogging back to the pair behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you ok?” He asked hurriedly, giving Julie a quick once over as though he were checking for injuries. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m good,” She told him probably a little too quickly. “I just got a little tired and Alex offered me a ride.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned slightly, opening his mouth as though about to say something. Alex had other ideas.</p><p> </p><p>“Before you say it there is no way you can carry her with that busted arm so just stand down Mr. Darcy.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s mouth snapped shut before immediately opening again. </p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m embarrassed to be your friend,” Bobby called back to him in disgust. “Pride and Prejudice? Jane Austen?”</p><p> </p><p>“Colin Firth shirtless…” Alex contributed.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not in the book,” Bobby groaned. “Seriously does no one read anymore? Darcy doesn’t need to be all wet and glistening to get the girl.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, you brought up a movie adaptation?” Luke hissed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not myself right now, ok?” Alex spat anxiously as Julie slapped his chest in an attempt to cut him off.</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned again.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head quickly before starting to walk again at a brisk pace.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just been a long day. We’re almost there, let’s just go.” </p><p> </p><p>Luckily Luke chose not to push Alex any further, just ran to catch up.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later Julie felt a rush of relief as first Beatrice and then Bobby’s driveway came into sight. Alex crouched slightly so that she could slide off his back, Luke reaching out to steady her as she landed. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, Alex, let’s go if you want a ride,” Bobby said right away, clearly ready to call it a day. </p><p> </p><p>Alex glanced at Julie, slight panic behind his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, actually I was hoping you could sneak us a few of those secret sodas of yours,” Julie broke in. “We could hang out a little longer.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby frowned skeptically. </p><p> </p><p>“Weren’t you just so tired you turned Alex into your personal transportation? Sorry, Julie I’m done for the day.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll drink soda with you,” Luke interrupted helpfully.</p><p> </p><p>Julie groaned internally. He was looking at her so enthusiastically and it was adorable yet completely frustrating in this moment.</p><p> </p><p>“See, there you go,” Bobby snapped his fingers. “Alex, let’s get a move on.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shot Julie one more look, this one taking on an oddly determined expression. She had just enough time to wonder what that meant and if she should be worried he spoke up again. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, fine, but I want to drive.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby rolled his eyes but he reached into his pocket and tossed his keys to Alex.</p><p> </p><p>Alex caught them and immediately ran for the driver’s seat. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie get in!” </p><p> </p><p>“What?” She called after him mind reeling at the chaos he had just unleashed. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Bobby snapped as Alex managed to get the door unlocked and slide in, unlocking the other door in one motion. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait, what the…” Luke was moving towards her quickly as her eyes locked with Alex’s and he waved her over.</p><p> </p><p>God damn it, Alex.</p><p> </p><p>Her decision made, Julie sprinted for the passenger side of the van, threw open the door and jumped inside, slamming and locking the door behind her. </p><p> </p><p>“What did we just do?” Julie asked Alex desperately.</p><p> </p><p>“Got some privacy by force,” Alex answered, heaving slightly for air. </p><p> </p><p>A heavy knock on the glass of the window had Julie jumping and turning to see Luke using his fist to get their attention. </p><p> </p><p>“What the hell?” He demanded, his face completely confused and a little distrustful. “Alex want to tell me why you’re kidnapping my...uh...Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Gross,” Bobby reacted flatly to Luke’s near slip. “Alex, I’m not taking you home if you keep messing around.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have the keys, Bobby,” Alex reminded him. “I’ll just take myself home.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s theft!” Bobby snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“So call the police!” Alex snapped, his eyes looking a little wild.</p><p> </p><p>It was official. She might have broken him. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex…” She hissed, not sure what the end of that sentence was going to be, just very aware that the situation was spiraling out of control. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>She bit her lip and turned back to face Luke who was standing directly against the van, only the glass of the window separating them. </p><p> </p><p>“Roll down the window,” He instructed gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t do it, Julie,” Alex countered. “It’s a trap.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie held up a hand to indicate to Alex that she had the situation under control before reaching over to roll the window down slightly. She rolled it down just enough that half of Luke’s face was peering over the open edge.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” He asked disbelievingly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” She told him as reassuringly as she could manage. “Alex and I just need to talk for a few minutes. Alone.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s frown deepened.</p><p> </p><p>“About what?” </p><p> </p><p>“Just...family stuff,” Julie offered, figuring that was at least partially true. She would be telling Alex about how she was struggling to figure out how to get back to hers. </p><p> </p><p>“If Julie and Alex end up being the two who make out in my van that would be the twist of the decade,” Bobby joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Bobby!” Alex and Luke yelled in unison. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby held up his hands and started backing up his driveway. </p><p> </p><p>“Forget it! I’m going inside, you guys sort this out among yourselves.”</p><p> </p><p>Once he had gone Julie sighed and turned her attention back to Luke.</p><p> </p><p>“Just give us a few minutes, ok? I’ll be right in.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke seemed like he wanted to argue but also realized he didn’t have much of a leg to stand on. Yes, Alex had gone about it in a dramatic and borderline unhinged way but they had a right to a five minute private discussion. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’ll be inside then. See you in a minute I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>He turned his attention to Alex.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude...stop being weird.”</p><p> </p><p>He turned to walk reluctantly towards the garage as Alex slumped in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“No promises,” He muttered. “Apparently I have a supernatural history, so…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie fixed him with a pointed look and shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“That was your plan?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not my best moment,” He said, exhaustedly. “How did you react when you found out ghosts were real?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie tilted her head in acknowledgment of the fact that he had a point without even knowing it yet. </p><p> </p><p>“There was a lot of screaming,” She admitted. “And I may have tried to exorcise you with my mom’s cross.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex’s eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean...I guess that’s fair.” His face suddenly grew pale. “You weren’t successful were you?” </p><p> </p><p>She chuckled slightly without meaning to. </p><p> </p><p>“No, you three hung around annoying me for quite awhile after that.”</p><p> </p><p>The smile slid off of her face as she was hit with the exact memory she had been trying so hard not to think of ever since she had landed in the past. </p><p> </p><p>Alex clearly noticed the change in her demeanor.</p><p> </p><p>“You said you came back to save us...was that just from dying in general or did something else happen to us in the future?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a shaky breath. </p><p> </p><p>“I better start at the beginning or this will never work.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex nodded, his attention focused squarely on her.</p><p> </p><p>“I found a Sunset Curve demo in my garage...in Bobby’s garage,” She gestured up the driveway. “This is my family’s house in 2020.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry...you’re from 25 years in the future?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I know it’s crazy but it’s true. Anyway, I played the cd and the next thing I know you and Luke and Reggie just appeared…”</p><p> </p><p>“Not Bobby?” Alex interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a rush of emotion as his question. Somehow she had managed to forget that particular bomb she needed to drop on the boy next to her.</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t die when the rest of you did,” She explained in a rush. “It was the tainted hotdogs remember? He didn’t eat one. He ended up growing up to be a famous musician and the dad of one of my childhood friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa,” Alex said as he took in her expression. “Why do you look like you’re giving me bad news telling me he survived?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s just...he used some of Sunset Curve’s songs for his albums,” She tried to sound casual as she said but she doubted she was fooling him. </p><p> </p><p>“How many?” Alex asked with a frown.</p><p> </p><p>“A lot,” Julie admitted. “Uh...seemed like most of them, I think? Not the ones on the demo though.” </p><p> </p><p>“But he gave us credit...right?” Alex asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, no. He kind of changed his name to Trevor Wilson and pretended he wrote them all alone. Even “My Name is Luke” which looking back should have raised a red flag.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex stared at her dumbfounded.</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby wouldn’t do that.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I know. I didn’t understand it then and now that I see how you guys are together, I definitely don’t get it. But that’s all I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“This is heavy,” Alex sighed. “And we’ve barely scratched the surface of me being dead which is still highly freaking me out by the way.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Julie said, hoping he could hear her sincerity. “I shouldn’t have told you. I never wanted to make any of you deal with this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Alex reached out to grip Julie’s hand for a moment. “We would want to know as your friends anyway, not to mention apparently the whole reason you’re here is to save our lives. Don’t apologize to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie managed a small, grateful smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks. Anyway, the three of you just appeared. I was the only one who could see you but it turned out that when you played music everyone could hear you. And even weirder when you played with me everyone could see you too.”</p><p> </p><p>“That makes no sense,” Alex pointed out. “What kind of ghost rules are those?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you had questions in the future too. But it was good. We actually formed a band, Julie and the Phantoms. We played a few gigs and things were going relatively well considering the fact that you were...well, dead. But then you guys crossed paths with this ghost Caleb who wanted you to play in his ghost club. Long story short you turned him down and he jolted you out of existence.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex looked well and truly horrified at this point.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds...unpleasant.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shuddered. </p><p> </p><p>“It was horrible. I watched it happen and I couldn’t do anything. At least I thought I couldn’t until Willie turned up.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex perked up at the mention of that name.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s that name again. Who’s Willie really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, he’s a skateboarder with long hair and a great smile,” Julie answered awkwardly, reminding him of their previous conversation. “Also a ghost.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex was clearly shocked.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...are you saying…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m saying you know how Luke and I are in some unlabeled, complicated yet adorable grey area?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, from what I’ve heard that was you and Willie. He’s the one who told me about the portal in Caleb’s club that might let me come back to 1995. He risked a lot for you”</p><p> </p><p>Alex seemed to seriously consider asking more Willie related questions but decided against it finally. </p><p> </p><p>“So you popped out here to stop us from eating those tainted hotdogs,” He said instead. “That explains a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She sighed. “Only I couldn’t get back after. And Willie had said something about unfinished business so I tried to help make sure you guys would be happy when I left in all the ways I could think of. And it worked only...when the portal showed up...I sort of didn’t go.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex gaped at her for a moment before regaining the ability to speak</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean you <em>didn’t go</em>?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“It was right after we played the Orpheum and Luke and I...you guys are my family too. I couldn’t just disappear without saying goodbye.”</p><p> </p><p>“Julie...that’s bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” </p><p> </p><p>“Like <em>really, really</em> bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know!” She groaned. “I barely had time to think and the portal was gone. But I do know one person who can lead me to another one.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex leaned forward eagerly. </p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb,” Julie said softly, bracing for the reaction she knew was coming. </p><p> </p><p>She got it.</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb? Please tell me that’s not the same Caleb you just said murdered us after we were already dead which is just like...total overkill.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed. </p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know. I hate the thought of doing something so dumb too. But I genuinely don’t know what else to do, Alex. I have to get home. I just have to. After my Mom died...what if the people who love me already think something terrible happened to me? I have to try something to get back to them.” </p><p> </p><p>“Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid without talking to me first,” Alex insisted. “Better yet without taking me with you. All dumb plans are a group activity from now on, ok? And even better maybe I can help you come up with a not totally dumb, guaranteed to backfire plan.” </p><p> </p><p>“Works for me,” Julie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>There were a few moments of loaded silence in the van before she ventured a question.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly?” Alex responded. “Not really. I don’t do great with change. And knowing you already died twice and your bandmate traveled back from the future to save you? That’s a big freaking change.” </p><p> </p><p>“Pretty big,” She agreed. “I’m so…”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare apologize,” Alex cut her off warningly. “Just like give me a minute to process my own mortality and the existence of both ghosts and time travel and I’ll be good to go.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let out another half amused half weighed down chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“Believe it or not it starts feeling normal shockingly fast.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex glanced over at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I ask you one more thing before we call it a night?”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you and Luke this obnoxiously obsessed with each other in the future or…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out and slapped his arm as he laughed and held up his hands defensively.</p><p> </p><p>Ok, she hadn’t totally broken him if he was still able to make absolutely mortifying jokes at his friends’ expenses. She still wasn’t sure if telling him had been the right thing in the big picture. But she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. </p><p> </p><p>Just like when she had found her place among the boys twice there was one thing that was undeniably true...it felt good not to be alone. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>He may be absolutely reeling but he will never miss a chance to make fun of his children, never. 😂</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Typical impossible behavior</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry the updates are coming a little slower. My brain is still a little foggy but it felt really good to get this one done. I intended the Juke conversation to only be a small part of the chapter and then for things to move along...but these kids just wanted to be cute with each other and I decided we all needed that. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the end Alex decided to walk home, both to keep Bobby’s head from exploding the next day and to give him some time to process what he had learned. He handed her the keys to return to Bobby and gave her a weak smile. He pulled Julie into a tight hug and gently tussled her hair and then he was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a deep breath and exhaled it harshly, standing alone in the deepening darkness trying to come to grips with what had just happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be honest her feelings on the situation were as complicated as the situation itself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the one hand she felt like a failure. Her original goal after dropping through time had of course been to save the guys’ lives but she had put almost as much pressure on herself to get home without burdening them with the knowledge of the truth. Whether it was because she was afraid of changing things too much or because she wanted to keep their lives happy and uncomplicated it was undeniable that her story would only destroy all of her good intentions. And if she hurt them that badly then what was the point of all of this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except that wasn’t the whole story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She also felt a sense of relief so strong it washed over her as a physical sensation. Her best efforts hadn’t kept her from getting intimately involved in their lives. Her deepest fears hadn’t kept her from affecting events in 1995 or pushed her into returning to 2020 when she had the brief chance. It wasn’t that she blamed herself for any of that necessarily. She knew that she was in an impossible situation and that despite the pressure she put on herself the weight of human lives and timelines and universes were never meant to rest on her shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was doing her best and come better or worse, that  was all there was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she needed some help. And at least in this moment, standing alone in the driveway that led to her house but not her home, she believed that she deserved it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned to glance back towards the barely visible light leaking out of the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to say when I go back in there?” She muttered to herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Add it to the list of questions she had asked to the universe and received no answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forcing one foot in front of the other, Julie trudged up the driveway towards the garage, pausing outside the ajar door to gather herself before slipping inside. Luke was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, one foot tapping out a rhythm that told her he was seconds away from pacing. She couldn’t help but let the tiniest, affectionate smile grow on her face as she watched him in the few seconds it took him to become aware of her presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He so clearly wanted to be out standing by the window of the van staring inside until she came out but here he was, a little pouty and annoyed, but doing his best to respect her boundaries. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know if Rose and Alex and even Emily were right and she was his girlfriend in all but name. She wasn’t sure if she could admit that was true without being overwhelmed by guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But if her decision that morning to be honest with herself was extended beyond just the effects of time travel and the possible necessity of seeking help from evil…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she wanted to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She must have drawn his attention somehow because he suddenly looked up. For a split second his eyes met hers then he glanced away again, going back to tapping his foot even as he spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His tone was a little off like he wanted to immediately launch into questions but was instead forcing himself to act completely disinterested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” She agreed from her spot just inside the doors. “Alex went home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke nodded, glancing back in her direction briefly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, did you have a good talk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now it was Julie’s turn to nod though she was pretty sure he couldn’t see the motion as he kept his eyes focused elsewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” She said again, cringing slightly at her inability to say anything else before trying again. “There’s a lot on my mind. Alex too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke opened his mouth as though about to say something then clenched it shut again. After a short pause he opened it again this time managing to grit out a response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s good that you trust him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie’s lips quirked up slightly in amusement. She knew it wasn’t exactly enlightened to find it cute when he had a mild temper tantrum because he was jealous. But she had when he mocked Nick and she did now when he allowed himself to be threatened by his </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay </span>
  </em>
  <span>best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She crossed the distance between them, dropping Bobby’s keys on the coffee table before sitting down without hesitation, bringing her feet up to rest on the couch beside her without bothering to take her shoes off. She leaned her head down to rest on his shoulder, curling deeper into his side as he instinctively made space for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I trust you too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” His voice was laced with insecurity and it hurt her to hear it, to know that he might interpret her inability to fully dive in as a rejection and not an attempt at protection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded against the warmth of his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His good hand reached out to toy lightly with the fingers on the hand she currently rested on his knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why are you talking to Alex and not me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question could have come out possessively or accusatory but instead sounded only genuinely concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly?” Julie sucked in a breath, pausing to take in the scent that was Luke now that he had a solid form at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew it was mostly just generic soap, and the same spray deodorant she saw in the bathroom every morning. But to her it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> and she wanted to remember that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s harder to talk to you about my family because I worry about you the most. If I ever go back to them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stiffened under her and turned his head down sharply to try to get a look at her face though she didn’t make it easy for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But even if you didn’t live here we’d figure it out. I’d...I mean I’d miss you but it’s not like we would never see each other again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt tears pricking at her eyes and did her best to hold them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so. But if I start trying to go back to them...I can’t promise you that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if she couldn’t have heard his frown in his voice she would have sensed it in the way his grip on her fingers tightened slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to leave you,” She answered, the struggle to keep her voice steady taking all of her concentration. “Any of you. But I miss my family. And there might be a time I have to choose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s thumb began tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why though? Do they live far away?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie buried her face in his shoulder for a few seconds until she felt like she could trust herself to answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” She practically whispered. “Really far.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” He said, emotion hovering at the edge of his voice but doing an admirable job of keeping it there. “But you want to fix things with them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course he would assume she had run away like he had after an issue with her dad. That wasn’t true but it was also close enough to ring true. She had run away with a purpose but she had still run away in a move her dad would have forbidden her from if given the chance. She could only hope the dad she knew was still waiting for her to make it up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do,” She said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll help you make that happen,” Luke said firmly. “All of us will.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t reply at first just pressing even closer to him both to hide her emotions and to silently thank him for how much he clearly...well, cared about her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I still think we can figure things out,” He said in a rush. “I’ll get my cast off and then Bobby will trust me to drive Beatrice and I can come visit. And after tomorrow we’ll be signed and I’ll be on my way to making some money. I could buy plane tickets, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cut her off with a rush of words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you...you would want that, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was she supposed to say to that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She landed on the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would want that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t miss the way he breathed a sigh of relief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then just promise me you’ll try and I will too. That’s all any of us can really do anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise,” Julie said softly, the word burning her throat as it escaped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t consider it a lie though she knew that might be wishful thinking. She knew deep down there was no world in which she got to have both. But if she ever got the chance she would fight like hell to make one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was pretty sure that qualified as trying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of them said anything for a moment until Julie’s eyes landed on something on the coffee table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smile spread slowly across her face as she took in the two cans of soda. She sat up and reached out to pick one up before turning to face a bashful Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck in a clear attempt to look nonchalant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said you wanted it,” He said simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was what it really came down to didn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was always right there, wanting to give her what she wanted whether it was a soda or the chance to see her family again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or a purple arcade ring she had definitely spotted him trying and failing to win again earlier that day when he thought she didn’t see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie set down the soda again and picked up the marker sitting in its seemingly permanent place on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat back and uncapped it, smirking a little at the way Luke held out his cast laden arm to her like a Pavlovian response at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do I get today?” He asked eagerly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t answer, turning his arm gently as she searched for an empty spot. Once she found one she got to work, biting her lip as she concentrated on her drawing. When she was done she sat back in satisfaction, releasing his arm so he could examine the result for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An ice cream cone,” He observed. “Makes sense. Hey let me see that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached out for the marker and she passed it over curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a little awkward for him to turn one arm and draw on his cast with the other but he managed it, making a couple of quick swipes with the marker until a slightly shaky heart emerged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For last night. In the hallway…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie felt an instant blush spring up on her cheeks and tried to distract him by rolling her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just bit his lip and tapped the heart to emphasize his point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I almost went with a pair of lips but I figured you might not want me to explain that to people so..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie groaned, and flopped back against the back of the couch, bringing her hands up to cover her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re still impossible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie spread the fingers on one of her hands so she could peek at him from behind them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See! Typical impossible behavior.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that’s what you want to think of me,” Luke shrugged, his grin still firmly in place. “I guess I might as well do this then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shifted on the couch until he was close enough to reach up with his good hand and peel her hands away from her face. He didn’t give her time to react to how close his face was to hers before he was lowering his mouth to her cheek and pressing his lips there lightly before sitting back slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You had to do that huh?” She asked, doing her best to sound stern but fully aware that the smile tugging at her lips gave her away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” He replied, popping the “p” slightly. “And this…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned in and placed a peck on her other cheek before sitting back slightly again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t have a come back for that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed to enjoy her sudden silence, leaning forward and stopping within a breath of her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I really, really have to do…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he could finish his sentence or his planned action Julie surprised him by surging upwards and beating him at his own game. She pressed her lips to his, retreating before he could fully process what she had just done. His eyes blinked closed and back open again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” She shrugged teasingly. “I had to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed to recover at her playful comment and joked right back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know the feeling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he was leaning in to connect their lips again and this time they didn’t separate until Julie needed air a couple of minutes later. Luke seemed inclined to let her catch her breath and get right back to it but she held up a hand to keep his chest separated from hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s time I go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could sleep here,” He offered, immediately backpedaling when he saw her expression. “I just meant sleep I swear! It’s not like we haven’t shared the couch before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And my mattress, I know. But those were special circumstances and both times you had to flee to avoid the awkwardness in the morning. I don’t think we’re there yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe not. But I’ll be right here if you...you know, need me again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled softly touched by his reassurance though she had a feeling she would dream of better things that night. She reached out without thinking about it to run her fingers through his hair, another gesture she had caught herself wishing she could do when he had been a ghost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. Thanks.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie tore herself away before she could fully process the rather dumbstruck look on his face from her touch. She retreated to the bathroom, splashing water on her face and brushing her teeth. When she left the bathroom she spotted Luke leaning against the ladder leading up to the loft. He stood straight as she approached. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for trusting me earlier. I know how hard that can be. I just wanted to say...what it feels like to want to speak to someone everyday and not be able to...I know what that feels like. You helped me start to feel close to my family again and I want to do the same for you. It’s all going to work out. I know it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat. It was almost too much. The pure genuineness in his words, the echo of a conversation from another life and the dangerous hope he was trying to instill in her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so,” She finally managed to get out in a small voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look at Sunset Curve,” He reminded her. “We’re about to sign a record deal. Miracles happen!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head slightly. He had no idea, as he stood in front of her snatched back from death the way Orpheus had tried to snatch Eurydice back from the underworld, just how true that statement was. Despite how hard it was, how scared she was...she knew every moment with them was a miracle. And just for the night she wanted to let herself believe she might be entitled to another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” She answered with a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before moving out of the way so she could make her way up to the loft. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A couple of minutes later she had changed and slid under her blanket, Luke setting up his bed before flicking off the light down below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she had so much still stacked against her but just knowing he was there, shrouded in the safety of darkness, let her ignore her fears for the time being. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Luke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She slipped off into sleep focusing on the soft sounds of his breathing, more than happy to leave everything else until tomorrow. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I did my best to have her be a little more honest with him while still letting them be happy because they deserve it. WE DESERVE IT. 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Not the only one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m back. I missed you guys! </p><p>Has everyone been streaming Driver’s License and crying over their ships? Me too lol. Just picturing my babies driving around in Beatrice. BRB sobbing. </p><p>Anyway...back to less depressing things hopefully. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a little less than 24 hours since Julie had finally told someone, specifically a pink loving drummer, about what was really up with her. It had been almost 48 hours since they played the Orpheum, she and Luke kissed for the first time, and she sat collapsed in an alley questioning all her life decisions. </p><p> </p><p>So. </p><p> </p><p>Not a very eventful weekend then. </p><p> </p><p>And now, despite the fact that she knew it wasn’t objectively true, she found herself in a moment that felt even more surreal. Because she was seated in the same Red Rose conference room as before, seconds away from witnessing Sunset Curve sign a record deal. She hadn’t wanted to come at first, had tried to convince Luke and the others that even more than the first time her presence would only confuse things. Luke and Reggie had insisted they wanted her there though and Bobby had told her to stop fighting affectionately because they were going to be late. So despite the tense look exchanged between her and Alex she had loaded herself into Beatrice along with the rest of them after the guys got out of school. </p><p> </p><p>She had trailed behind them into the label, hanging back until Luke had noticed and grabbed her hand to keep her close. The other guys hardly blinked at the action so it was hard for Julie to muster much embarrassment even though she knew a few short days ago she would have been overwhelmed by it. It was nice actually to be able to scratch that one off the list because seemingly everything else in her life currently was still firmly in the overwhelming category.</p><p> </p><p>She had been most of the way through the lobby when something behind the reception desk caught her eye. Or rather the lack of something caught her eye. She came to a sudden stop, Luke stumbling as his grip on her hand tugged him with her. </p><p> </p><p>“Ow,” He complained. “Julie, I’ve only got one good arm, be gentle.”</p><p> </p><p>She shot him what she hoped he would take as an apologetic smile before turning her attention back to the wall behind the desk. It was completely blank and unblemished, the white rabbit sticker nowhere in sight. </p><p> </p><p>“They got it off,” She muttered. </p><p> </p><p>Luke gave her a quizzical look.</p><p> </p><p>“They got what off of what?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave herself a little shake and forced herself to answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Just someone had stickered that wall the last time I was here but it’s gone now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well this is a classy place they wouldn’t just leave random stickers on the walls,” Luke shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you two coming?” Bobby called back. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, no hurry, just the culmination of everything we’ve ever worked for,” Alex added.</p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t they hurry then? Oh...you meant...got it,” Reggie chimed in.</p><p> </p><p>Luke started moving across the lobby again and Julie let herself be pulled gently along. She knew that Luke was right, it wasn’t like she would expect a major corporation to let evidence of vandalism hang around forever. But she couldn’t help but remember what the receptionist had said last time about turbo glue and how they hadn’t been able to get it off. Now that Willie, though she still wasn’t convinced he really was Willie, seemed to have disappeared along with the portal she couldn’t help but wonder if there was a connection. She had always found the sightings of him and his stickers a little unsettling but ultimately comforting. She hadn’t known exactly what they meant but she had been inclined to believe he was guiding her in a positive way. Maybe that was wishful thinking but still.</p><p> </p><p>Even an unsettling spirit guide was better than facing things alone.</p><p> </p><p>But she wasn’t facing things alone. She had Alex now and she would figure out a way to get home with or without the maybe Willie. She had to.</p><p> </p><p>But for now she was sitting in a record label conference room listening to Queenie’s dad welcome the band.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, boys I had high hopes for you based on Queenie’s assessment but seeing you in action, I must say you exceeded all of my expectations.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke practically grew several inches before her eyes, his face relaxing into a satisfied expression. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” He said through a proud smile. “It was a pretty rad night.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie forced herself not to react to that comment. It had been something, that was for sure. She didn’t have long to school her face before attention was turning to her. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, before we get down to business I have to ask Julie here if her mind has changed regarding officially signing on with the band,” Dec said, folding his hands on the table and turning to face her.</p><p> </p><p>Julie squirmed slightly in her seat. His words were reasonable but something about the sharpness behind his eyes made her a little nervous to tell him something she was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no, I haven’t changed my mind,” She answered, doing her best to keep her voice steady. </p><p> </p><p>Dec frowned slightly before sitting back.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s disappointing but of course I respect your decision. I do want you to know we have put in writing our verbal agreement that you won’t sign with anyone else at risk of voiding the band’s contracts. It’s a compliment really. We can’t have talent we’ve scouted scooped out from under us. Bad for business.” </p><p> </p><p>He offered her a smile that did little to make her like him more but she was relieved to hear that her refusal to sign still wouldn’t hold the guys back. </p><p> </p><p>“None of us have an issue with that,” Alex spoke up. “We trust Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and if she ever changes her mind we’ll take her obviously,” Luke spoke up, reaching out to rest his hand on hers under the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Once we start promoting without her it’s not that simple,” Queenie contradicted.</p><p> </p><p>She could tell Luke was about to argue but luckily Dec cut in. </p><p> </p><p>“If we ever come to that situation we’ll discuss it at that time,” He said smoothly. “Now, Queenie has been looking to get more involved in recruiting and guiding artists so I’m going to let her take the lead on this.”</p><p> </p><p>He stood and placed his hands on his daughter’s shoulders in a way that Julie felt was slightly menacing.</p><p> </p><p>“I know she won’t let me down.”</p><p> </p><p>He paused for a moment and Queenie’s expression flickered briefly before returning to her normal confident one.</p><p> </p><p>“Just like Sunset Curve won’t let me down, I’m sure.”</p><p> </p><p>“We won’t,” Luke said firmly.</p><p> </p><p>Dec nodded with a smile and then he was gone.</p><p> </p><p>“Was that it?” Reggie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie shook her head at his question.</p><p> </p><p>“The lawyers will be in with the contracts for you to sign in a minute. We don’t just pinky promise when we’re going to invest a lot of money in you.” </p><p> </p><p>“That would be a big pinky promise,” Reggie agreed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re all within six months of being 18 right? So you can sign without your parents,” Queenie continued.</p><p> </p><p>“Convenient,” Alex said.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we celebrate for one minute?” Bobby chimed in. “Luke? Julie? This is happening!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just here for support,” Julie reminded him. “But yeah this is definitely worth celebrating.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re still not joining the band and yet you’re here again,” Queenie told Julie pointedly. “I see my advice about commitment didn’t sink in.” </p><p> </p><p>She tilted her head as she examined the way Luke’s chair was angled towards Julie’s, the way the stretch of his arm probably gave away the fact that their hands were touching again. </p><p> </p><p>“Or maybe it did sink in,” She shot them a smirk which had Julie blushing. “Well, there’s always room for a special friend of the band but if you’re not joining you have to take a backseat. No offense.”</p><p> </p><p>“None taken,” Julie said quickly before Luke could speak up and prod Queenie into saying something even more transparent.</p><p> </p><p>At that moment a man in a suit entered the room and nodded at Queenie before placing a briefcase on the table. He opened it and pulled out four thick packs of paper before sliding one to each of the guys before sitting down. A fancy pen was already waiting at each of their seats.</p><p> </p><p>Luke didn’t hesitate, grabbing the pen and flipping to the final page eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Queenie said. “You have the right to read it you know. You can have your parents or a lawyer read it even.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah, maybe we should take a minute,” Alex broke in nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have a lawyer, do any of you?” Luke asked them sarcastically. “And who here actually thinks your parents would be helpful?”</p><p> </p><p>None of them spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I can tell you the basics,” Queenie said. “We develop you with the goal of putting out an album and completing at least one national tour. We have the option for your 2nd and third album if we want it after that we negotiate. But if you want to read the details…”</p><p> </p><p>“Screw the details,” Luke said, looking from one of his friends to another excitedly. “This is what we’ve been working for! Let’s just do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Then he signed the contract and with various levels of enthusiasm the rest followed. Julie wasn’t sure how she felt about his decision but it was definitely in character. Luke had always been more of a decide what you want and go for it type of person than a sit back and ponder all of the possible pros and cons. </p><p> </p><p>All of that aside she felt a rush of happiness for them as the lawyer collected the newly signed contracts. This was everything they had ever wanted and it was so much of what she had wanted for them. </p><p> </p><p>“All right, we’re in business!” Queenie announced with a little clap of her hands. “Now we can get down to work. We need to talk concept, song topics and fashion plan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...fashion plan?” Luke echoed doubtfully.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m super fashionable,” Reggie chimed in.</p><p> </p><p>“No offense sweetie but you’ve worn that same leather jacket every time I’ve seen you,” Queenie told him. “We can do better.”</p><p> </p><p>“What does better mean?” Alex asked cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on guys, why are we getting so bent out of shape about clothes?” Bobby jumped in. “I’m sure it’s just some suggestions.”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t need suggestions about clothes though,” Luke insisted.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, you’re in the big leagues now and you have to understand that it’s all connected. Your image has to match your sound. And right now you’re looking a little grunge and you’re sounding a little family friendly. It doesn’t match.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke looked absolutely horrified.</p><p> </p><p>“Family friendly? Our sound is not family friendly.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m friendly to all age groups,” Reggie said proudly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not...ok...can we just chill for a minute?” Alex asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Bobby muttered.</p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t exactly how Julie had seen this moment going although she couldn’t say she was entirely surprised that Queenie had her own ideas about how the band should develop. She couldn’t entirely blame her, that was kind of her job and she had a feeling that Dec was putting a lot of pressure on her. She just hoped that Luke could keep a cool head long enough to come to a compromise. </p><p> </p><p>“Believe it or not I’m on your side here, Luke,” Queenie said firmly. “I came to see you play as a favor. I went to bat for you with my dad, I got the Orpheum for you, and I’m putting my name on the line to try to turn you into stars. I see how special you guys are and I just want everyone else to see it, that’s all.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, that was a good strategy. Queenie quite probably meant what she was saying but in the time she had known her Julie had found the older girl to be a sharp observer. Luke was susceptible to flattery when it came to his music and that was usually a good strategy to back yourself out of an argument with him. Julie had used it herself to deflect from his curiosity about her weird behavior before. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie continued.</p><p> </p><p>“So let’s leave it there for today and walk out of here friends and partners, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>She reached her hand across the table for a handshake.</p><p> </p><p>Luke hesitated for a moment but then reached out to clasp her hand in his. Queenie smiled and moved down the table to shake hands with each of his bandmates. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, down to the important business,” She held up her hands over her head in a dramatic pose. “Celebratory dinner!” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m starving,” Bobby agreed quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sushi?” Queenie suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t eat raw fish,” Alex protested. “It’s the texture. Mushy.” </p><p> </p><p>He shuddered.</p><p> </p><p>“Sushi is raw fish?” Reggie exclaimed in surprise. “Why would anyone eat raw fish?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because it’s delicious,” Queenie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“So is ice cream,” Reggie countered.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not having ice cream for dinner,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry about them.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re sorry about you everyday,” Luke teased. “Can we just get some normal food? Like burgers or something? That’s more Sunset Curve.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie elbowed his side slightly and shot him a teasing smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Just no hotdogs ok?”</p><p> </p><p>He returned her smile even as Bobby called down from the other end of the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok Hotdog Girl, don’t think we’ve forgotten.”</p><p> </p><p>“I forgot,” Reggie admitted. “But it’s still hilarious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I don’t understand half of what you’re saying,” Queenie broke in flatly. “But if you insist on burgers I can make that happen. Now let’s go before the banter starts up again.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Queenie wasn’t wrong. The force of the banter with them was strong and getting a word in could be a real challenge.</p><p> </p><p>They all headed downstairs and once again Queenie consented in riding in their van though she didn’t seem any more excited about it than she had the first time. She directed them to a restaurant about ten minutes away which turned out to be the fanciest burger joint Julie had ever seen. There were white table cloths, big black menus and all of the burgers had fancy names. Once they were brought to their table Reggie’s eyes just about popped out of his face at the gigantic size of his cheeseburger. </p><p> </p><p>Leave it to Queenie to find a 5 star burger restaurant.</p><p> </p><p>The guys dug in as Queenie chattered away happily. </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a few bites before glancing over at Luke next to her, who was somehow managing to both stuff his face and look slightly grumpy. Again, her first reaction probably shouldn’t be that it was cute but she was beyond judging herself for it at this point.</p><p> </p><p>She leaned over so she could speak softly enough to hopefully keep the conversation between the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Could you tell your face to look a little more excited? You’re kind of ruining the vibe.”</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed his current bite and gave her a half smile. She wasn’t sure if he remembered saying something similar to her during their first ride in Beatrice but she certainly did.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll work on it, boss,” He teased.</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” She smirked. “Are you going to call your parents and tell them you did it?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I should.”</p><p> </p><p>“You absolutely should,” Julie affirmed. “You just proved your dream was worth chasing. They’re going to be so proud.”</p><p> </p><p>“They want me to come to dinner,” Luke admitted. “I don’t think I can be trapped alone with them for that long yet. I love them but it’s awkward.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie considered for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I could go with you,” She offered.</p><p> </p><p>The look he sent her was one of those soft ones she was finding herself in danger of getting addicted to.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Why not? Your mom loves me anyway,” She joked.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t seem to be joking when he replied though.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, she’s not the only one.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyebrows shot up as she took in what he had just said. He seemed to be doing the same thing if the panic that overtook his face was anything to go by.</p><p> </p><p>“I just meant you’re pretty great, we all think you’re great, right, Reg?”</p><p> </p><p>He reached out and tugged Reggie closer to him causing him to choke slightly on his burger.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, are you trying to kill me?” Reggie protested, yanking back to his own seat.</p><p> </p><p>Once again alone with the impact of his own words, Luke sputtered awkwardly for a moment or two before shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what I meant.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart throbbed in her chest, the sensation both painful and comforting. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned sheepishly and turned back to his food leaving Julie to turn what he had just said over and over in her head. In the end she could only add it to the long list of things that happened since she arrived in the past that she knew she should regret but also knew she never would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did anyone catch the Owen sushi reference? 😂</p><p>Also, am I referencing my own other Juke love confession scene in this? MAYBE. There’s no rule against it lol. </p><p>I feel like I’m creating the Juke multiverse right now. Separate realities but they overlap just a bit. </p><p>I have a problem lol...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Laps and laundry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh the Juke of it all lol...</p><p>That’s it, that’s the summary lol.</p><p>I mean there’s also some light plotting and a spattering of banter but mostly it’s Juke times. I regret nothing. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t until they were back in Bobby’s garage, Julie in the loft and Luke on the couch, that the full weight of his own words seemed to sink in. </p><p> </p><p>Julie was just starting to drift off, the nights when her dad had to keep a constant eye on her to make sure she didn’t scroll on her phone until 3am feeling very far away. The number of major events that had been packed into the past few days alone to say nothing of the past few months had her exhausted enough to fall asleep without any distractions. Not that her phone was an option for a distraction these days. It was still a powerless brick though she had moved it from under her mattress to under the folded pile of clean clothes nearby. Turns out that fairy tale about the princess who could feel a pea through a bunch of mattresses was on to something. Julie had only made it a couple of nights before she swore she had a phone shaped bruise on her side. Besides she figured the safest place to hide advanced future technology from a bunch of teenage boys was right under her underwear. If they snooped through those their discovery possibly outing her as a time traveler would be only one of their problems.</p><p> </p><p>So she was just on the edge of sleep when Luke’s voice floated up from below.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>She struggled back from the edge of sleep, fighting for a moment to convince herself it was the real Luke who had spoken and not one she had dreamed up.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p> </p><p>Her voice cracked slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Were you sleeping? You were sleeping. Never mind.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie opened her eyes, though the lack of light left most of the garage only vague shapes in the darkness.</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t sleeping. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause and Julie could easily have believed he fell asleep or had decided to put off whatever conversation he wanted to have. She knew better though. She knew that for the two of them these nights spent together but apart, under the protective blanket of darkness, would always allow them to be more honest with each other than they could be in the light of day. They were getting better at being truthful all the time but that didn’t change the fact that the night made them brave.</p><p> </p><p>She was proved right when he spoke up again.</p><p> </p><p>“Should we talk about what I said earlier? It feels like we should talk about that.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, Julie was awake now.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you say earlier?”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help it. She wanted to tease him a little. There was also a part of her that just wanted to hear him say it again, maybe using the actual words this time. Of course, she knew deep down she was playing with fire, that all of this would only make it more painful to say goodbye later. For both of them. </p><p> </p><p>But more and more she was starting to think it was like Flynn had said, she was going to lose them no matter what. They were going to lose her no matter what. And she would lose them.  All there was to do was love her band...her family...as fiercely as she could and help them as much as possible while she was there. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe you can’t prevent pain by denying love. Only start the pain earlier.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Julie,” He whined, bringing her focus back to him and the adorable embarrassment she could hear in his voice. “You know what I’m talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>He was very cute but very frustrating.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the point of talking about what you said when you can’t even say it and the first time you said it you didn’t really say it? Which is totally fine by the way, I never asked you to say it by not saying it.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a shorter pause this time.</p><p> </p><p>“I did <em> not </em>follow that,” He admitted.</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just tired. Don’t listen to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I get that in writing? Cause I bet tomorrow you’ll be telling me what to do again.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but smirk a little at that comment.</p><p> </p><p>“Even if I put it in a contract you wouldn’t read it. Not the smartest move by the way. I wish I hadn’t been too wrapped up in the moment to tell you that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, it was a great moment to be wrapped up in,” Luke reminded her. “It will be fine. Everything always works out the way it’s supposed to. You taught me that.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a rush of conflicting emotions. She knew he probably meant her pep talks after their first shot at the Orpheum fell through but she could see the irony in his statement as well. She had watched him disappear from existence, that’s how things had worked out for him once. And she had challenged time itself because she couldn’t stand it.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” She said eventually, deciding that simply letting herself believe Luke’s words would be for the best for both of them. “Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t reply right away and Julie found herself starting to drift off again. She was just about to fully let go of her grip on consciousness when his voice rose up again.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,” He said, worry evident in his tone. “I know it’s only been like a month since we met and I know I didn’t exactly warm up to you right away...but I also don’t want you to think I <em> don’t </em>feel that way...cause...cause I do.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew he was saying something important, she <em> knew </em>that a few short minutes ago exactly what he chose to say and how she reacted to it had seemed impossibly critical to her happiness. But now with her eyes firmly shut and her mind already halfway back in a dream where she and Luke stood on her porch with hands that never passed through each other...the truth slipped out of her as easily as she slipped into sleep.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>If he said anything more after that she didn’t hear it. She was interrupting his dream counterpoint with a kiss just as he started to remark on their “interesting little relationship”. </p><p> </p><p>The next day Julie woke up with the vague recollection that she and Luke had talked about his slip up at the restaurant but she couldn’t remember most of what they had said. She was pretty sure she had teased him and he had been trying to work out whether to walk it back or stand by it. That was all she had though. </p><p> </p><p>She had been a little worried at first that one or both of them might have said something that would make things awkward but if anything Luke only seemed especially happy and eager to be in her orbit. </p><p> </p><p>They had spent most of the day writing, Luke’s excitement over being officially signed translating to his determination to walk into their next meeting with Queenie with a whole stack of new songs. Julie had teased him that nobody was going to expect him to have three albums worth of material but it wasn’t like she was complaining about the opportunity to escape into the songwriting world with him. </p><p> </p><p>Even though they had gotten a lot closer in a lot of different ways she still felt the closest to him when they were in their separate chairs, hunched over notebooks and calling out ideas to each other. They were often so in sync that they somehow managed to complete each other’s lyrics without any discussion, one of them pausing in their scribbling to say the first part of a line out loud and the other would finish it. Other times they would pick a topic and write together, hunched over one notebook, shoulders brushing as they worked. </p><p> </p><p>This was one of those times. </p><p> </p><p>They had been working on this particular song for the better part of an hour and though her mind was still thoroughly engaged, her back was starting to protest. Julie straightened up and raised her arms in a stretch before twisting her back first one way and then the other in hopes of releasing some of the tension there. Eventually she admitted that it was probably a good idea to get up and walk around a little.</p><p> </p><p>She had just stood and taken half a step when Luke reached out and caught her wrist, stopping her progress. </p><p> </p><p>“Where are you going?” He asked, his lips already edging towards a pout as though he were a needy toddler and not a blossoming rockstar. </p><p> </p><p>Well, to be fair he tended to embody both of those states at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>“Just taking a break,” She told him, trying not to be distracted from her goal of bodily comfort by the smirk sliding onto his face. </p><p> </p><p>She promptly failed.</p><p> </p><p>“We could take a break together…” He suggested cheekily, tugging her by the wrist until she bumped up against his knees. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She warned, raising a finger to ward him off which he completely ignored.</p><p> </p><p>He released his hold on her wrist and used his good arm to scoop around her waist and twist her body until she was tumbling backwards onto his lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” She cried much more forcefully this time, trying to steady herself without jostling his cast any more than she already had. “Your arm is broken and you’re going to end up with two if you’re not careful.”</p><p> </p><p>If his satisfied expression was anything to go by her chastising had no effect. He adjusted her position slightly and wrapped his good arm more firmly around her waist keeping her close. Despite her protests she wasn’t immune to being this close to him. She found herself relaxing a little against her better judgement as the warmth he always seemed to radiate seeped through her. Maybe he didn’t run as hot as she felt like he did. Maybe she was just comparing it to the cold tingling feeling that had come from standing too close to him in his ghost state. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t miss that reminder of how not <em> real </em>he was. </p><p> </p><p>No, she much preferred being wrapped around his solid form, not that she was prepared to let him see her enjoying it just yet. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about me, I’m tough,” He teased as he ran his hand up her arm, leaving goosebumps to spring up in its wake. “And so are you.”</p><p> </p><p>He had always been good at giving her compliments, even back when they barely knew each other and he had resorted to antagonizing her into acknowledging her own talent.  </p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t always been as good at accepting them.</p><p> </p><p>That hadn’t changed.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t feel that tough,” She countered, avoiding his eyes which proved to be difficult from this close. </p><p> </p><p>“You are,” He said firmly, his hand continuing its journey until it had trailed up her neck to land on her cheek. “And talented, and smart and funny and brave.”</p><p> </p><p>She knew she was blushing now, hoped that he couldn’t feel the heat rising beneath his hand. Still, she couldn’t resist the urge to lean her cheek against him, pressing the soft skin of her face against his calloused fingers and rough palm. </p><p> </p><p>“I definitely don’t feel brave most of the time,” She admitted, finally allowing her eyes to land on his. “I’m always afraid I’m doing the wrong thing, making the wrong choice, letting someone down.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” He sat up a little, bringing his face within a whisper of hers, stroking his thumb along her jaw soothingly. “You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.” </p><p> </p><p>She tried to shake her head and shift away from his gaze but he held her gently in place. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious. You showed up here all alone, didn’t let any of us push you around, not even me and I was a real jerk.” </p><p> </p><p>The corner of her mouth quirked up slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s true,” She teased, earning her one of those patented Luke smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Not to mention jumping in to perform with us like a pro, and not letting yourself be intimidated by Queenie and her dad, and the way you just charged right in to help Reggie and me with our parents.”</p><p> </p><p>Not to mention jumping through a mysterious portal to save their lives. Not that he knew about that. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess that’s all true,” She allowed. </p><p> </p><p>“See. Totally brave,” He grinned before leaning up to bump his nose with hers and it was such an achingly sweet gesture she found herself blinking back tears. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t want him to see her watery eyes so she did the only thing she could think of. She dipped her head slightly until she could press her lips against his. </p><p> </p><p>Ok, so maybe hiding her emotions hadn’t been the <em> only </em>reason she had kissed him. </p><p> </p><p>She might be brave. But she was also human. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily and predictably, Luke didn’t seem to mind.</p><p> </p><p>He responded with enthusiasm, surging forward to return the pressure, almost dumping her from his lap in the process. </p><p> </p><p>She let out a little shriek as he first tried instinctively to grab her with his bad arm before managing to twist and catch her with his non-broken one. Julie wrapped her arms around his neck still not trusting that he wasn’t about to dump her on the floor. They stared at each other in shock for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“You dropped me!” Julie managed to sputter once she regained the power of speech. </p><p> </p><p>“I <em> almost </em>dropped you,” Luke argued. “Totally different.” </p><p> </p><p>“It didn’t feel that different when my head was plummeting towards the ground,” She pointed out sharply.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you shouldn’t have kissed me!” He exclaimed as though it was obvious.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what you want to go with?” She asked knowingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yea...no,” He cut himself off quickly. </p><p> </p><p>There was another moment of silence before they both burst into laughter. </p><p> </p><p>“You ready to sit up?” He asked once they had recovered a little bit. </p><p> </p><p>She nodded and tightened her grip on the back of his neck as he heaved her upright with one arm. She definitely did <em> not </em>get distracted by the way his muscles tightened visibly as he did so. Definitely not. </p><p> </p><p>Damn boy and his damn aversion to sleeves.</p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” He brought her back to the present and back to full awareness of the way she was sitting sideways on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, their faces only inches apart. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m ok,” She answered softly. </p><p> </p><p>“Good,” He said just as softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” She echoed a little dumbly but seeming not to have much control over her brain at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“So where were we?” Luke smirked, edging ever so slightly closer to her face. </p><p> </p><p>She smiled a little and bit her lip. She couldn’t help it or maybe she just didn’t want to.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean before you dropped me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Before I <em> almost </em>dropped you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, ok,” Julie murmured as he moved to close the last gap between them. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Their lips were less than a centimeter apart when a voice from the doorway had them springing apart.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh God, my eyes!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie groaned and hid her face in Luke’s neck, not ready to face their audience. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Bobby! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s voice came back just as indignant.</p><p> </p><p>“Wonderland is part of <em> my </em>house. And I don’t ask for much, just no making out where I might walk in on it and have to burn my eyes out afterwards.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s cute.”</p><p> </p><p>That was Reggie. Oh good, so more than one person had witnessed her humiliation. </p><p> </p><p>“I think Luke has come a long way from wanting to murder Julie,” Alex remarked.</p><p> </p><p>Oh good. She was three for three. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, now I just want to murder you guys instead,” Luke grumbled. </p><p> </p><p>“Is Julie ok?” Reggie asked. “Did we break her or something?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and sat up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, Reg. Just dying of embarrassment but I’ll recover.”</p><p> </p><p>She moved to stand up only to encounter resistance from Luke. She shot him a look and slapped his arm when it only tightened around her waist. That seemed to do the trick and he released her reluctantly. She stood and tried not to look as awkward as she felt. Luckily the rest of the guys were already moving inside, Bobby dropping into the chair next to Luke’s before wrinkling his nose. </p><p> </p><p>“How could you even stand to be that close to him, Julie?”  Bobby demanded. “He smells like boy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am a boy,” Luke rolled his eyes. “So are you by the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well I don’t smell like one,” Bobby countered. “When was the last time we washed that shirt cause we have another meeting the day after tomorrow and you need to be presentable.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke folded his good arm over his cast and frowned in a pouty manner. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m presentable,” He mumbled. “Anyway, if you really want to do my laundry tonight be my guest. I know your parents know I’m not missing anymore but pretty sure you still don’t want them knowing I’m living out here so…”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby frowned, apparently realizing he had just more or less volunteered himself for the task. </p><p> </p><p>“Ooh, can I do it?” Reggie broke in excitedly earning himself a confused look from everyone. “What? I just really like doing laundry. I find the routine soothing.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged. She could see that. </p><p> </p><p>“Who am I to deny you?” Bobby grinned, glad to have dodged that job. “Now what are we eating tonight because my mom is making vegetarian pork chops and I am not making that mistake again.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie decided not to ask how a pork chop could possibly be vegetarian.</p><p> </p><p>“Chinese?” Alex asked. “I’m in the mood for questionably authentic dishes doused in sauces we can’t pronounce.” </p><p> </p><p>“Right?” Reggie agreed. “Like is it sweet and sour or sour and sweet?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not what I...ok...who is going to go get the food?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not me,” Reggie said. “I’m going to start on the laundry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rock, paper, scissors?” Luke suggested.</p><p> </p><p>The others agreed and Luke, Bobby and Alex all put their hands in. Julie didn’t bother to put hers in, not in the mood for the inevitable argument over the sexism of saving her from any band chores. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh,” Luke groaned once it was clear that Alex had won. “Looks like it’s me and you, Bobbers.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby shot him a horrified look. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve told you not to call me that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would it kill you to loosen up a little?” Luke demanded.</p><p> </p><p>“I choose death,” Bobby replied flatly as Luke threw an arm around his shoulder and guided him out the door.</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked back over his shoulder and winked at Julie and then they were gone.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s new,” Alex observed pointedly, watching Julie’s face carefully as a blush spread over it. “Then again so is the canoodling we walked in on earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but laugh at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Canoodling?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, you too? It’s a perfectly normal word,” Alex insisted. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie was ignoring them both, walking around the garage and snatching all of the clothing items Luke had left lying around and stuffing them in a garbage bag. He was singing as he went, something about “I saw the sign” bopping his head to music only he could hear. </p><p> </p><p>Alex glanced over at their friend consideringly before looking back to Julie and gesturing for her to join him on the couch. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as she sat beside him he leaned over and whispered near her ear. </p><p> </p><p>“So I’ve been thinking about your problem.”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>“And?” She whispered back. “What did you come up with?”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” She snapped before dropping her voice to a whisper again. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I’m not a time travel expert,” Alex hissed quietly. “I can’t think of any way around going to look for this Caleb guy but we should go together. And we should stake it out first. Not just waltz right in until we know what we’re walking into. You have to promise you don’t approach this creep until we’re ready.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess so,” Julie agreed. “I don’t know what qualifies as ready but…”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll figure it out,” Alex promised, though his face betrayed a lot less confidence than his words held. “Should we go tomorrow? I could take a sick day.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok. I’m supposed to go with Luke to his parents’  place for dinner tomorrow night so we just have to make sure we’re back before that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t be a problem as long as we haven’t been murdered by a ghost,” Alex shuddered. “I know you’re not ready for the others to know yet and I’ll do my best but…”</p><p> </p><p>“Julie!”</p><p> </p><p>Both Julie and Alex jumped at Reggie’s sudden shout from across the garage. </p><p> </p><p>“I figured out your secret!” </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Julie exchanged panicked looks. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh...you did?” Julie asked cautiously, her heart pounding in her chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Yep,” Reggie said enthusiastically. “You’re nose blind aren’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a whoosh of relieved air at his nonsensical question. </p><p> </p><p>“Nose blind is not a thing,” Alex said, relief clear in his voice too. </p><p> </p><p>“Whatever, it’s that or she really loves him cause I don’t know how she lives with this stuff thrown everywhere,” Reggie said, holding the shirt he held up to his nose before flinching away. “Hey, do you want me to do your clothes while I’m at it, Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>She was still too relieved about what he <em> hadn’t </em>said so she couldn’t bring herself to feel much embarrassment over the “love” comment. </p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” She answered distractedly. “The dirty clothes are the pile furthest from the ladder in the loft. Thanks, Reggie.”</p><p> </p><p>He dropped the garbage bag and saluted before heading for the ladder to climb up and retrieve them. </p><p> </p><p>“So...tomorrow?” Alex asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow they would go try to spy on a super powerful, super evil ghost who had already proved he would kill to get his way. </p><p> </p><p>What could go wrong?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don’t be too hard on Alex there aren’t any good answers at this point. </p><p>What did we think of the Juke moments? 🥺</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Beautiful Mistakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, here we go. Things are really kicking off now! I think there is a lot in this chapter that won’t surprise you but hopefully you’ll enjoy the journey. </p><p>A few of you have found me on tumblr and others have asked so feel free to join me over there. I’m pink-flame. Pink Flame Productions was the name I picked for my future film company in middle school. Spoiler alert, that dream didn’t pan out lol. Got a tumblr though. </p><p>Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram at taryn_the_librarian if you’re interested in selfies and cat photos. 😂</p><p>And finally, some of you know the saga which was me saving up for a laptop (and writing 120,000+ words on my phone lol). Well, I got one! I still am writing mostly on my phone cause I’m so used to it now and I’m crazy. But I have been using the laptop to get back into something else I used to love which is making edits for shows I like. I have four or five Julie and the Phantoms ones up if anyone wants to check those out. I’m still getting used to the software so the editing isn’t anything amazing but the song choices are impeccable lol. I’m BelieveInMyDaydreams on YouTube. </p><p>Ok, enough of that!!!</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie clambered down the ladder, somehow not managing to tumble off of it even though his arms were full and he was moving at a borderline dangerous speed. </p><p> </p><p>“Careful, Reggie!” Julie warned, cringing as he jumped down to the floor, stumbling briefly before bounding across the room towards the garbage bag he had abandoned earlier. “We don’t need another one of you in a cast.”</p><p> </p><p>He just grinned and tried to open the garbage bag one handed. </p><p> </p><p>Julie and Alex exchanged a look. They might be distracted by their efforts to figure out a way to get her home without disastrous consequences, but they were never too busy to bond over their loving exasperation towards their friends. </p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile Reggie was happily chattering away in the background.</p><p> </p><p>“It really must be a boy thing, Julie, cause even your dirty clothes smell super fresh…”</p><p> </p><p>Something clicked in her mind at his words and she whipped her head in his direction. Panic rose instantly when she got a better look at the clothes he was currently preparing to shove into the bag.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...Reggie, I think you got the wrong pile. Those might be clean just let me…” </p><p> </p><p>She was preparing to stand and after that she didn’t know, maybe run over and try to snatch what he held before he got a closer look, but in the end she barely got to sit up before all her half baked plans went out the window. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie had turned slightly when she spoke and something had fallen from the pile of clothes he held, landing with a clatter on the floor. He set her clothes down on top of one of the chairs as he searched for the source of the noise.</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t need to look for it though because she knew exactly what it was. </p><p> </p><p><em> Her phone </em>.</p><p> </p><p>There was no way that Alex could have known what her phone actually was but the color she could feel draining from her face must have given away that it was nothing good. She shot him a panicked look which he returned even as Reggie bent to pick up the phone, turning it over in his hands curiously. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s this? Hey you know what this looks like?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie seemed to be completely oblivious to the way both Julie and Alex were frozen in horror on the couch. He held the phone up in front of his mouth and made a little chirpy, beeping noise before speaking.</p><p> </p><p>“Kirk to Enterprise! Beam me up, Scotty!” </p><p> </p><p>He finally looked over to his friends, clearly expecting a big reaction to his performance but all he got were dumb stares.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t giving up though. </p><p> </p><p>“You know...whoosh?” He raised his free arm as though to indicate he was in fact beaming up. “Star Trek?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex let out a burst of nearly hysterical laughter earning him a sharp look from Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“Ha ha, you’re hilarious, Reggie. Have I ever told you that?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie luckily seemed to take Alex’s extremely forced statement at face value, smiling proudly to himself.</p><p> </p><p>“The thing about that is…” Julie started, hoping desperately that she would know the end of her sentence by the time she got there. “The thing about what that is...is…”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie cut her off.</p><p> </p><p>“An advanced communication device?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie could feel her eyes expanding to three times their normal size and Alex seemed to be choking on his own saliva next to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope, it’s definitely not...that.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie smiled and turned away from them, clearly preparing to go back to his task of shoving her apparently clean clothes into a bag with all of Luke’s dirty ones. Which was decidedly gross and if she wasn’t so relieved that he appeared ready to drop the mystery of the phone she definitely would have spoken up to remind him that her dirty clothes were still up in the loft. </p><p> </p><p>Just when her heart rate was slowing to a healthy level, Reggie spoke up again.</p><p> </p><p>“It was a joke. Obviously you wouldn’t have an advanced communication device unless you were like a visitor from the future or something. Which would be rad but I know that’s just a TV thing. Unless that’s your secret Julie..”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled to himself before freezing in place.</p><p> </p><p>The absolute silence of his friends seemed to register at that moment and Reggie spun to face them. Julie knew she should be at least attempting to school her face into something resembling normal and calm but she couldn’t manage to do it. She was pretty sure Alex was failing just as hard next to her.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s eyes darted from Julie to Alex and back again, a frown settling on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...<em> is </em> that your secret?”</p><p> </p><p>“Whaaaaaat?” Julie practically squeaked out through a nervous giggle. “That’s crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>“So...so crazy,” Alex echoed, his voice rising in pitch. “The craziest.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God,” Reggie said.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope, no, whatever you’re thinking just stop,” Alex tried.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie…” Julie started only to be interrupted by him again. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God, you are. You’re a visitor from the future!” Reggie spun to face Alex. “Did you know this?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed as all the fight visibly went out of him. </p><p> </p><p>“I might have recently found out, yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alex!” Julie protested. </p><p> </p><p>He threw up his hands defensively.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, ok? He figured it out on his own. He broke me down.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie folded her arms.</p><p> </p><p>“He asked you twice.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, well I’m under a lot of pressure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, excuse me. Is all of that a yes?” Reggie broke in, his face still serious enough to worry her.</p><p> </p><p>Julie considered in a flash all of the lies she could tell to get out of this, all the ways she could try to convince him that he was being dumb. Only he wasn’t being dumb he was <em> right </em>and maybe they didn’t give Reggie enough credit sometimes because he had gotten there frighteningly quick. It took enough out of her to leave things out when she talked to the guys, she didn’t want to graduate to full on lies. Well, more than she absolutely had to. So in the end against her better judgment she only sighed and braced herself for the next moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. It’s true. I’m from 2020.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a pause just long enough for Julie to worry that Reggie was going to run screaming from the garage before his face suddenly split into a huge grin.</p><p> </p><p>“That is so freaking cool!” He exclaimed leaping forward to pull Julie up into a hug. “I knew it! I knew time travel was real. And aliens. Are they like walking among us in the future? The truth is out there!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled back from Reggie’s excited embrace. She still wasn’t happy that yet another one of them now knew her secret but she was glad that he at least seemed to be taking it well. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, no aliens as far I know. Sorry. Can I have my phone back please?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie handed it over and she shoved it in her back pocket.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a <em> phone </em>?” Alex said in disbelief. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, this one’s battery is dead so it’s not much of anything right now, but yeah it’s called a cellphone. Everybody has one in the future. You can call people on it but most of us just text...uh...type out notes to each other. It’s also like a little computer. You can look up information or watch videos on it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a lot,” Alex said, looking a little overwhelmed by that information.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Advanced communication device </em>,” Reggie practically breathed, his reaction a stark contrast to Alex’s. “This is the best day of my life.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well…” Julie shrugged. “I’m glad. But you can’t tell anyone. Please promise me, Reg.”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded solemnly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, we don’t want to disrupt the fabric of the universe and...wait. How did you get here anyway? Ooh, ooh, please tell me your time machine is parked around here somewhere?”</p><p> </p><p>“No time machine,” Alex spoke up on her behalf. “Just super questionable holes in the ground.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie practically bounced with excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait...what? You guys have to tell me everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure she was prepared for that conversation again but she supposed she should just get it over with if she didn’t want Luke and Bobby walking in on Reggie begging for answers. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, but can we sit down first?” Julie asked finally, a suggestion Reggie quickly agreed to, crawling over Alex to get to the open spot on the couch. </p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Alex demanded, struggling to breath around Reggie before finally managing to shove him off. </p><p> </p><p>Julie ignored their antics, sinking into one of the chairs and trying to gather herself to tell her story yet again. She didn’t exactly enjoy going back to the moment she watched her friends disappear seemingly forever.</p><p> </p><p>But they weren’t gone forever. </p><p> </p><p>They were right here in front of her. She had to latch on to that fact if she wanted to get through this as quickly and emotionless as possible. The last thing she needed was Luke showing up and questioning why she looked upset.</p><p> </p><p>So she told Reggie the truth in a hurry, from their arrival in her garage to her landing in an alley on the night of their first Orpheum show. Alex jumped in occasionally, unable to resist highlighting the parts of the story that amazed him the most. She left out the part about her and Alex going to look for Caleb the next day. She figured Reggie would want to come along and she wanted to keep their spying mission small. Less chance of someone she loved getting on Caleb’s bad side again that way. When they were finished Reggie didn’t say anything at first and his face had settled back into a frown that had Julie nervous. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe now that he had heard about his own death (both of them) the whole time travel thing didn’t seem as fun.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?” She asked him cautiously. </p><p> </p><p>That seemed to snap him out of his thoughts, his face crumpling a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Am I ok? Julie!”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could react he was leaping towards her and tugging her out of her seat and into a hug yet again. This time it was less excited and more an over enthusiastic attempt at comfort. He clutched her to him tightly, one hand on the back of her head as he rocked her back and forth.</p><p> </p><p>“You did all that to save us and it must have been so scary. Aww, Julie!” </p><p> </p><p>As comical as his over the top reaction could have been she couldn’t help but lean a little further into him all the same. There was something about the way Reggie didn’t hesitate to treat her like she needed taking care of that made her want to let him. Somehow she didn’t find it annoying like the band’s refusal to let her help carry things or when Luke occasionally slipped into caveman mode and worried about her needlessly. Ok, maybe the second one didn’t annoy her <em> that </em>much. Stil. Maybe it was the big brother vibes Reggie gave off or maybe it was just the way he always managed to take her by surprise with his adorable gestures of affection. Either way she wasn’t complaining. </p><p> </p><p>“How many times am I going to walk in here to see Julie cuddling with someone today?” Bobby remarked dryly from the doorway causing Julie and Reggie to spring apart.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby and Luke were standing just inside the garage, each holding bags of Chinese food, the latter’s expression doing that confused pouty thing she <em> definitely </em>didn’t find cute. </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie just felt like a hug,” Julie explained, figuring it was pretty believable since he tended to be clingy anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and Julie here is a real <em> lifesaver </em> ,” Alex offered as Julie shot him a pointed look. “Always willing to just <em> jump in </em> to help a friend.” </p><p> </p><p>She tried to subtly shush him, quickly dropping her gesturing hands when Luke’s eyes landed on her again. Alex’s anxious sense of humor was not helping the situation right now even if she doubted Luke or Bobby would pick up on anything from his comments. </p><p> </p><p>Still, it was exhausting to feel like she had been on the brink of her own anxious heart attack for days. She wasn’t built for deception. She was an objectively terrible liar. Her only saving grace so far had been the truly impressive obliviousness of her chosen family. And even that was proving not to be enough at this point. </p><p> </p><p>A small part of her thought it would be better at this point to just come clean to Bobby and Luke as well but the far larger part of her rejected that idea immediately. She still needed Luke to see her the way he did now, for both of their sakes. And when she eventually had to leave she needed him to believe it was because she went back across the country and didn’t keep up contact. It would be painful. She knew that. But he would believe he might see her again for as long as he needed to and once he realized he wouldn’t, enough time would have passed for him to let it go. It would be so much easier for him to believe they were a young love that didn’t work out than soulmates separated by decades. No, it was better he didn’t know. It would be painful. But he would survive it. </p><p> </p><p>She thought back to the year after her mom’s death and knew she would survive it too. Even if living with the knowledge of what really happened was going to make it a hundred times harder.</p><p> </p><p>While she had been lost in thought the guys had spread all of the little cardboard containers of food out on the coffee table. Luke startled her by coming up to her side and giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, are you sure you’re ok?” He said it quietly, just for her. </p><p> </p><p>She felt a physical pain in her chest as she met his concerned eyes but still managed a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. Just starving.”</p><p> </p><p>He returned her smile and gestured to the spread on the table.</p><p> </p><p>“I got you those noodles you like.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” She said softly, the smile coming a little more easily this time.</p><p> </p><p>20 minutes later they were all sprawled on the couch and chairs, most of the food miraculously gone. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you looking at Julie like that?” Luke asked Reggie suspiciously.</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed.</p><p> </p><p>It was true. Reggie had been grinning across the coffee table at her on and off the entire time they had been eating. She had hoped maybe his weirdness would be interpreted as enthusiasm over the food but apparently she wasn’t that lucky. </p><p> </p><p>“Like what?” Reggie asked cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p>“Like she’s one of those ewoks you love so much,” Bobby answered helpfully. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie is cute and squishable like an ewok,” Reggie agreed.</p><p> </p><p>“Squishable?” Alex echoed. “Dude, you shouldn’t describe people as <em> squishable </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just really glad she’s here with us. Aren’t you?” Reggie directed that at Luke and it seemed to do the trick.</p><p> </p><p>A slightly dopey smile slid onto his face as he glanced over at Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I mean yeah, of course.” </p><p> </p><p>“Can we just open our fortune cookies before I throw up everything I just ate?” Bobby groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not happy I’m here, Bobby?” Julie teased as they all started unwrapping their cookies.</p><p> </p><p>“I might not be displeased by your presence,” Bobby joked, smiling so she knew the truth behind his lukewarm words. </p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled to herself and broke open her cookie, popping half of it in her mouth as she unfolded the message inside. She could vaguely hear the guys reading their messages aloud in dramatic fashion, laughing and teasing each other over each one. Her attention was mostly reserved for the little slip of paper clutched between her own fingers though. </p><p> </p><p>“What did you get, Julie?” Luke’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes </em>,” Julie read out, her voice soft and serious in comparison to the performances the guys had just been exchanging. </p><p> </p><p>“Deep,” Reggie offered. “I mean I don’t get it, but it sounds deep.”</p><p> </p><p>“It sounds reassuring,” Alex spoke up. “Like everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes sought out Luke’s without consciously telling them to do so. Of course he was already looking at her in that gentle way that still made her heart beat faster. </p><p> </p><p>“Someone did tell me that recently.”</p><p> </p><p>“That was me,” Reggie said proudly.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it wasn’t,” Julie and Luke said in unison, his tone annoyed and hers amused.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, it was,” Reggie muttered under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help it. She burst out in laughter, true, happy laughter. So many echoes of the life they had already lived together even if the guys didn’t remember it. They were her family. And if still being here with them now was a mistake it was certainly a beautiful one.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning Julie woke up early, the watch she had borrowed from Bobby beeping near her ear. She quickly pressed the little button he had shown her would shut off the alarm, listening carefully for a sound that would indicate she had woken Luke up. Instead she counted his even breaths, taking comfort in the calm moment. Eventually though she had to get up, easing herself out from under her blanket quietly. </p><p> </p><p>Alex would be heading over to pick her up as soon as his parents left for work so she needed to be ready. </p><p> </p><p>She got dressed and brushed her teeth before pausing to look at Luke’s still sleeping form. Her original plan had been to leave him a note saying she would be spending the day with Rose but she hesitated now that it was time to actually write it out. She hated the thought of lying to him so much but she knew it had to be done. Still. Maybe she should tell him face to face. She wasn’t sure if the urge to do so came from some desire to punish herself or from the belief that Luke would worry less this way. All she knew was she found herself crossing the distance between them and sinking softly down to sit on the edge of the folded out couch. </p><p> </p><p>She reached out and ran her fingers gently over the edge of his forehead, ghosting over his hair in a barely there touch. It was enough though. His eyes flickered open lazily. He was clearly still half asleep but that didn’t stop a smile from settling on his face right away. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” She practically whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” He croaked before clearing his throat a little. “Everything ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“Everything’s fine,” She assured him, unable to resist the urge to repeat her previous motion, dragging her fingers lightly from his forehead to his hair.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes fell shut contentedly under her ministrations, opening again once she finally returned her hand to her side, clutching it in the other one to keep it there this time. </p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to tell you I’m hanging out with Rose today,” Julie told him, doing her best to keep her face neutral. “I told her I’d help her with some songs and she wanted someone to go shopping with so…”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grinned sleepily and interrupted her in a familiar high pitched voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Girl stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. So I’ll meet you at your parents’ house later, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>He frowned slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t be late right? 6:30. I don’t think I can face them alone, Jules.” </p><p> </p><p>Her heart clenched at the nickname. Had he ever called her that? In 2020 or 1995? She didn’t think so. It made her ache with affection for him. It made her hate herself for lying to him. </p><p> </p><p>It made her miss Flynn.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t be late,” She managed to answer eventually. “I promise. It will be fun.”</p><p> </p><p>“I doubt it will be <em> fun </em>,” Luke grumbled through a yawn. “But it will be bearable if you’re there.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head with a small smile. Sleepy Luke was not a version of him she had been able to experience in his ghost form and it was quickly becoming one of her favorites. </p><p> </p><p>“Go back to sleep,” She ordered softly. “It’s still early.” </p><p> </p><p>He nodded, his eyes already sliding closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Have fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie stood and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the way the air seemed to be fighting her. She didn’t think she would be having much fun that day. She could only hope she would return having not made things worse.</p><p> </p><p>Beautiful mistakes…hopefully she could avoid the ugly ones. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Team Teenage Time Traveler continued to expand! They need a logo lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Alex Mercer’s Day Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well...it’s a long one. And there will be feelings. </p><p>Let’s discuss after you read it ok? Ok. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Julie made it to the end of the driveway, Alex was already waiting in a slightly boxy red car she didn’t recognize. She hurried over and opened the door before sliding into the front seat. She was a little worried that Luke would decide to get up and see her off for some reason and she didn’t want to risk him spotting her in a lie before their plan even got off the ground. </p><p> </p><p>Once Alex had eased them out onto the road she relaxed back against the seat a bit, relieved not to have been caught. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are 90s cars so...rectangular?” She asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>Alex glanced over at her incredulously. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s your good morning on the day we drive towards almost certain disaster? Wait...what other shape would cars be?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged. Ok, maybe this wasn’t the time for this conversation but sometimes it was hard to contain the fact that she wasn’t from here. There were so many things that were strange to her in a thousand little ways and she wasn’t used to having someone she could ask. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. They’re still rectangles I guess but they’re more...rounded? And they’re not so bulky. How do you guys park these things?”</p><p> </p><p>“Rounded,” Alex echoed, making it sound like a dirty word. “Between this and those pocket phones that means you have to talk to people all the time, the future sounds terrible.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed. Ok, so this wasn’t helping Alex relax. Apparently he was capable of forming very strong, very negative opinions without much prompting. Maybe she could transition the conversation in a less stressful direction. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you had a car,” She tried.</p><p> </p><p>Alex cringed and gripped the steering wheel noticeably tighter. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t. It’s my sister’s. She left it at home when she went off to school and my parents have been very clear that I’m not supposed to touch it. They’ll kill me if they find out I took it. But it was an emergency cause we’re going to see someone who might kill us. So. Either way.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out to pat his shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting manner. </p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate it, Alex. I really do. We’re going to be fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex nodded even though his expression still looked just as tense.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Yep. Sure. You’re right. So...where are we going anyway?”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. Right. </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached into her pocket and pulled out the slightly bent business card she had stashed there earlier. She tried to ignore the way her heart fluttered unpleasantly inside her chest as she took in the curly script with Caleb’s name on it. She flipped it over quickly and read the address out to Alex, who nodded again.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s near the beach, a few miles down from Reggie’s place.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Julie asked. </p><p> </p><p>This was news to her.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t know?” Alex said with surprise. “You’re lucky I have a vague idea where we’re going. What was your plan? Stop and buy a map?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean...in the future your phone just tells you where to go so...I didn’t really think about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shuddered.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m telling you these phones sound like the start of the end of the world. I’ve seen Terminator. It has to start somewhere.” </p><p> </p><p>“If we’re in a movie I don’t think it’s that one,” Julie tried to reassure him. “Try to think of it as a quirky coming of age story.”</p><p> </p><p>That did manage to get a chuckle out of him.</p><p> </p><p>“Only in this case the “quirk” is ghosts are real and apparently time travel is too.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie managed a small laugh. He had a strong point.</p><p> </p><p>“I do kind of feel like we’re in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” Alex continued. “Calling in sick. Borrowing a red car that’s off limits, only this one is a slightly less impressive Honda Civic. Deep, deep sense of probably justified dread. I’ve always felt a connection with Cameron.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie had in fact seen the movie he was describing as it was one of her Dad’s favorites, but she didn’t want to encourage Alex to think the day was going to end with his sister’s car crashing through a glass window. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex, it’s all going to be ok,” She tried her best to sound firm and convincing. “We’re just going to check things out, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“If you say so.”</p><p> </p><p>And she did. Even if she was having trouble believing her own words. </p><p> </p><p>They sat in relative silence, both lost in their own anxious thoughts, until they made it to within a few blocks of the street Alex thought they were looking for. He parked and they got out, figuring it was better to approach on foot and hopefully find what they were looking for. She had the vague idea that they were looking for an old hotel but she knew there was some kind of ghost magic involved keeping people from stumbling onto it without an invitation. The question was, did a forcibly given business card count as an invitation? Apparently not.</p><p> </p><p>They found the street, beach front property with a smattering of houses and what looked like a diner a little farther down. But there were no old school hotel as far as they could see. She figured it would be hard to miss even though they were still a little bit down from the exact address on the card. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ve eaten at that diner before,” Alex told her, his voice indicating he was as confused as she was. “But I’ve never seen any hotels around here. What should we do now?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie narrowed her eyes and squinted into the distance as though that would somehow help her see something that simply wasn’t there. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean...I guess we could get closer, check out the exact address.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex was already shaking his head before she even finished speaking. </p><p> </p><p>“No, no way. We agreed to check things out from a safe distance.”</p><p> </p><p>“And we did,” Julie countered. “But there’s magic involved, Alex. We might not be able to see it until we’re already there. Look...I understand if you want to wait here.”</p><p> </p><p>He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, seeming to be counting inside his head, before answering.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m coming with you. Obviously. But if things get sketchy we run for our lives, deal?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that if they found the Hollywood Ghost Club things were 100% going to get “sketchy”. She decided to interpret his deal as saying they would run for their lives if things got dangerous and that she could agree to.</p><p> </p><p>“Deal.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? Me too,” Julie admitted. “I don’t have a choice thou…”</p><p> </p><p>The end of her sentence was forgotten as she felt a whoosh or air next to her and a colorful blur passed within inches of her, leaving a cold, tingly feeling in its wake. </p><p> </p><p>She jumped back, directly into Alex who let out a slight shriek of surprise. </p><p> </p><p>“What? What is it?” He whipped his head around looking for what had spooked Julie. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t see it though. Because it was a ghost. And not just any ghost. </p><p> </p><p>Bright white helmet. Long brown hair. A skateboard and a complete disregard for right of way on sidewalks. </p><p> </p><p>Willie. Or some mystical guide with Willie’s face. The point was she had thought her decision not to leave that night had left her without his help. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was on the right path after all. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sprinted after the skateboarding figure without any warning, leaving Alex to sputter and chase after her. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie...what? Wait!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t wait. She couldn’t risk losing him again. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie!” She shouted once she had gained a little ground. “Willie! Wait!” </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure if that name was the right one and she hadn’t had much luck calling it out before. But she had to try. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie!” She yelled even more forcefully.</p><p> </p><p>The figure in front of her nearly lost control of his skateboard as his head whipped around at the sound. He frowned and popped his board up into his hands, coming to a stop just as Julie reached him with Alex close behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry...do I know you?” Willie asked, examining Julie’s face curiously. “Sorry if I got a little close back there, thought you were lifers.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in a heaving breath, trying to calm her racing heart without success because a sudden realization was washing over her. Whoever or whatever had been guiding her around the past was not who she was standing in front of. </p><p> </p><p>She was standing in front of Willie. The real Willie. And apparently he was a ghost already in 1995. She had hoped...she had been planning to do some research, find out when Willie was born and hope against hope that fate would let him and Alex be happy together this time around. No wonder Willie had looked so sad when he sent her back in time. </p><p> </p><p>We can’t have them. We can only try to save them. </p><p> </p><p>He had known all along just how true that was.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, can you tell me why we just ran all the way down here?” Alex huffed next to her, earning another frown from Willie.</p><p> </p><p>“He can’t see me? But he can see you? And you can see me? What kind of lifers are you?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath. It had been a long time since she had to act as a translator between ghosts and regular people. She had almost forgotten how confusing it could be.</p><p> </p><p>“I saw a ghost,” Julie informed Alex. “Willie. He’s standing right in front of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex clutched his arms around himself in shock. </p><p> </p><p>“Right in front of...ok, that’s...ok, yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still waiting to find out how you two know me,” Willie broke in, amusement and confusion warring for control on his face. “And how you can see me.”</p><p> </p><p>That was fair. Julie had not prepared for this conversation though. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s kind of a funny story,” She started through a nervous giggle. “So um...long story short, I’m Julie and I’m from the future. I met you there. Actually that’s not true, we didn't technically meet at that point but you met Alex…” </p><p> </p><p>She nodded to the boy next to her who was currently staring nervously about a foot too far to the left. </p><p> </p><p>“And he...and our other friends, who were ghosts by the way who I could see for some reason...well they got mixed up with Caleb who threatened them if they didn’t join his band. And then you tried to help them find their unfinished business but that didn’t work out and Caleb’s jolts got out of control and then they were...gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“How’s he taking all this?” Alex asked her anxiously, a question she ignored for the time being. </p><p> </p><p>All of her focus was on Willie and how the more she talked the more his expression shifted to a deep frown.</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb wouldn’t do that,” He said slowly. “He’s not a bad guy, he helps ghosts. Lifers too sometimes. He took me in, he’s been good to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“On a scale of like 1 to 10 how much is he freaking out?” Alex was still babbling away in the background. “Cause I’m a solid 12 and a half.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but he’s definitely a bad guy,” Julie insisted. “But you helped me fix things. You told me about this portal in the club and I used it to come back to the past. I stopped the guys from dying in the first place. But now I need that portal to get back home again.”</p><p> </p><p>Willie looked confused and slightly distrustful but he didn’t look disbelieving. Maybe the fact that he was a ghost made believing in everything else that much easier. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know anything about any portal,” He told her. “Or time travel. But I trust Caleb. Why don’t you two just come with me to the club? I’m sure he’ll help you if he can.” </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, I know this is a big moment for you but I have questions. So many questions,” Alex announced, nervous energy radiating off of him.</p><p> </p><p>Willie smiled in his direction before turning back to Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“Questions are kind of his thing, huh? Cute.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie wished so badly that Alex could have heard Willie say that but she didn’t think now was the time to be encouraging ghost/human romances. Maybe later if they survived the day. After all, she was hardly one to talk about impossible couples. </p><p> </p><p>“He wants us to go to the club with him,” Julie filled Alex in instead. “He trusts Caleb.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex shook his head harshly.</p><p> </p><p>“Then he’s crazy!”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re all a little crazy,” Julie said before immediately cringing at her own words. She had been spending entirely too much time with Luke. That was not a helpful comment. </p><p> </p><p>She turned back to Willie.</p><p> </p><p>“What if I just came back tomorrow and you helped me sneak into Caleb’s dressing room? That’s where the portal is. I promise I won’t even touch anything else. I just need to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>It was Willie’s turn to shake his head. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t. I’m sorry but his dressing room is off limits and I don’t even know you. Look, I’ve got to go check in with Caleb but if you want I can take you with me. Last chance…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and turned to Alex who took in the look on her face and sagged in defeat.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me guess? He didn’t go for it and now we’re walking directly into what’s almost definitely a trap.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie tilted her head and opened her mouth to try to come up with something reassuring. Alex sighed and cut her off before she could think of anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just do this. I love a good cataclysmically bad life decision first thing in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Willie let out a burst of laughter at that. </p><p> </p><p>“I like him. Come on,” He gestured for Julie to follow him before dropping his skateboard and hopping on, skating away before she could fully register he was moving. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, he’s on the move,” Julie informed Alex, grabbing his hand and jogging after the ghost in front of them. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, really?” Alex groaned as he picked up his pace. “We never would have worked out. Too much cardio.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie would have laughed at that if she wasn’t too out of breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you were a ghost so it wasn’t really a problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right.”</p><p> </p><p>They caught up to Willie when he slowed to a stop a few minutes later, glancing back to make sure they were still with him. He held out a hand to each of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Take my hand and you can come through,” He instructed. </p><p> </p><p>So apparently he couldn’t poof lifers yet but he could touch them.</p><p> </p><p>“What about your board?” Julie asked, and ok maybe she was slightly just trying to delay before she had to gather up the courage to enter the club again. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it will show up again later. It’s so cool it’s like it’s…”</p><p> </p><p>“Attached to your soul?” Julie finished for him.</p><p> </p><p>He grinned and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, exactly. Ok, you ready?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and nodded. Willie reached out and gripped her hand before doing the same to Alex. His reaction was somewhat more extreme since he didn’t see it coming, flinching and staring down at his hand which was now curled around something he couldn’t see.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, ok this is weird. Super weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Willie told him though obviously the message wasn’t received. </p><p> </p><p>Before Julie could translate, Willie was tugging them through an invisible barrier and they were stumbling to a stop in front of a towering building that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Alex stared up at it in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God.”</p><p> </p><p>His eyes dropped to the now visible hand still clutching his before he trailed his eyes up to the cute ghost attached to it.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God!”</p><p> </p><p>Willie grinned and released their hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Pretty cool, right? Wait until you see the inside.”</p><p> </p><p>He turned to lead them towards the entrance and Julie linked her arm through Alex’s to keep him moving as he tried to process what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” She whispered to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m good. We’re just walking into an invisible hotel but that’s chill. Uh, so you’re sure that this is the Willie who liked me?” He whispered back.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure,” She told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled despite the anxiety that was quickly building within her. Alex deserved to know that a cute boy had fallen for him, literally in this case. Sadly they didn’t have much longer to linger on such happy thoughts before they were inside and Willie was leading them down the hallway and through a fabric draped door. This was clearly the ballroom the boys had described though Julie had never seen it herself. </p><p> </p><p>Round tables lined most of the floor, crisp white tablecloths covering each one. Flowers and candles were scattered across them adding to ambiance. Across the room the stage rose up and a man in a suit was standing on it playing the saxophone. And directly in front of the stage a single audience member sat alone at the center table. </p><p> </p><p>Caleb. </p><p> </p><p>She had only seen him once herself, his figure cloaked in the relative darkness of an alley at night. But she was sure. </p><p> </p><p>“Is that him?” Alex asked nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yep,” Willie said, seemingly oblivious to the anxious state of his companions. “Come on.” </p><p> </p><p>He led them down a set of stairs and across the room. Before they reached their destination Caleb was snapping his fingers and the saxophone player stopped abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s enough.”</p><p> </p><p>The man scurried off of the stage and Caleb started to reach for a glass on his table before he visibly stiffened. He turned to face them and a slow grin spread over his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie, you’ve brought guests.” He waved his hand and all of the chairs at his table scooted back a few inches. “Please take a seat.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie and Alex exchanged a look but ultimately did as he said, sinking into the two chairs the furthest from Caleb. Willie sat directly next to his boss, his excited energy still seemingly not phased by the tension. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been waiting for you to pay me a visit, young lady,” Caleb directed to Julie leading to Alex stiffening and angling his shoulder slightly in front of Julie’s torso protectively. </p><p> </p><p>“So you do know her?” Willie asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Not as well as I’d like to,” Caleb said smoothly, he snapped his fingers again and three more glasses full of bubbly liquid appeared on the table. “Champagne?”</p><p> </p><p>“No thanks. I’m 16,” Julie refused. </p><p> </p><p>“And I don’t trust beverages from the undead so…” </p><p> </p><p>Willie snorted slightly as he tried to hide his laughter at Alex’s comment.</p><p> </p><p>“Very well,” Caleb said easily, his smirk still firmly in place. “I believe introductions need to be made. I'm Caleb Covington, and this is my establishment. You’ve met my friend Willie here. And you are...”</p><p> </p><p>“Alive,” Alex replied. “And hoping to stay that way.”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb clicked his tongue and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Now that’s not very friendly. It’s a simple question. Who are you?” He drew out the question in the same unsettling way he had in the alley. </p><p> </p><p>“My name’s Julie,” She offered before Alex could reply. “He’s my friend, that’s all you need to know. He has nothing to do with this.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what is this?” Caleb asked with interest, leaning forward. </p><p> </p><p>“She said she’s from the future,” Willie filled in. “Seems to think you can help her get home.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not cool, dude,” Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“He’ll help if he can, I told you,” Willie insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I will, William,” Caleb said in a voice that should have sounded friendly but still sent a shiver down Julie’s spine.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t sound surprised about the whole time travel thing,” She observed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I must admit I’m not entirely shocked,” Caleb told her, pausing to sip his champagne. “You see I knew the first time I saw you that you didn’t belong here. You give off a sort of...energy, my dear. A certain feeling to those who know what they’re looking for. I’ve felt it before.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shuddered. </p><p> </p><p>Like waiting for your ears to pop on an airplane. Like the pressure after you jumped into the deep end of the pool. </p><p> </p><p>“You felt it in your dressing room,” She said. “Coming off of the hole in the floor.”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb clapped his hands excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“So we have met before.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Not exactly.” </p><p> </p><p>Caleb waved off her protest with a casual gesture.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not particularly interested in the details. I can guess enough. I’ve been experimenting with sending ghosts through but none have come back. Perhaps a lifer was what the situation called for all along.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sent ghosts through some hole through time?” Willie asked with a frown. </p><p> </p><p>“Told you,” Alex muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Volunteers of course,” Caleb assured the younger ghost. “It’s a weak spot between this world and the next but I suspected it might also serve other purposes and it appears I have been proven right.” </p><p> </p><p>He turned his attention back to Julie with a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“So. What can I do for you, Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>This was it. </p><p> </p><p>“I just want to go home,” She told him firmly. “Nothing else. Just let me come back soon and go through.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Caleb nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Julie exchanged a look with Alex. There was no way it could be that easy...right?</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the catch?” Alex asked suspiciously.</p><p> </p><p>“No catch,” Caleb insisted. “But I will need Julie to do me a little favor before she goes.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie struggled not to sag in her chair under the fear that was settling over her. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. </p><p> </p><p>“I bet you do,” She snapped. </p><p> </p><p>Willie was looking back and forth between them and his boss with an increasingly worried expression. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean...can’t we just help her out?” He asked. “She just wants to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb patted Willie’s shoulder reassuringly. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, now, I know you want to help her and so do I. But you’ve also expressed an interest in learning more about what it takes to run this place and recruiting is part of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Recruiting?” Alex echoed harshly. </p><p> </p><p>Caleb held up a hand to stop any further angry comments.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing permanent, I assure you. Believe it or not even ghosts have to worry about practical concerns. It takes a lot to keep the lights on in this place, specifically a special kind of talent to perform on our stage. You caught me auditioning an act just now. It’s so hard to find performers with the right...energy. I believe you would be perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie fought to keep her voice steady. </p><p> </p><p>“How do you even know I’m a musician?”</p><p> </p><p>His smirk grew even more pronounced. </p><p> </p><p>“I have eyes everywhere in this town, Julie. It’s quite easy to keep tabs on the music scene when your scouts can walk through walls.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, that wasn’t ominous at all.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not interested in performing here,” She said firmly. </p><p> </p><p>“Not even if it means getting back to where you belong?” Caleb countered. “I would need to book you for a mere five performances to make that happen.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated.</p><p> </p><p>She knew this was dumb. She knew it, ok? But her options had been few to start with and they had only dwindled since then. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t try to get back to her dad. To Carlos and Tia and Flynn. She couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Two performances,” She bargained even as Alex shot up in the seat next to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie! No, no absolutely not.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve had lifers perform here before,” Willie offered. “Nothing bad has ever happened to them.”</p><p> </p><p>“No offense, you’re super cute and apparently you wise up but you don’t seem to be in on the reality of the situation yet,” Alex snapped.</p><p> </p><p>Willie let out a disbelieving laugh, probably at the way Alex could call him cute and accuse him of being dense at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“Alex, give me a better plan,” She whispered, searching his face for understanding of her impossible situation. </p><p> </p><p>He looked prepared to protest again but after sputtering for a few moments he only sighed deeply.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, I have a bad feeling about this.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a shuddery breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” She turned back to Caleb. “Two performances.”</p><p> </p><p>He eyed her consideringly. </p><p> </p><p>“Three.”</p><p> </p><p>“Deal,” Julie said, feeling as though she could practically hear Luke screaming at her being such an idiot. Flynn’s voice might have been in there somewhere as well. </p><p> </p><p>“Excellent,” Caleb waved a hand and a piece of paper and a fancy pen appeared on the table. “Let’s make it official, shall we?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie picked up the paper with shaking hands. If she had learned anything from Luke’s overexcited decision making it was to always read a contract before signing it. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t take long to read it. It was short and to the point.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Julie will perform at the Hollywood Ghost Club three times. Once she does so she may have access to Caleb’s dressing room and return home. As long as she honors this agreement no harm will come to her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Are you saying harm will come to her if she doesn’t honor it?” Alex asked spitefully, clearly having been reading over her shoulder. “Is that a threat?”</p><p> </p><p>“Simply a fact,” Caleb told them calmly. “This is a soul bargain and breaking one comes with consequences, either of us would face those if we didn’t keep our word.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok, Alex,” Julie tried to comfort him though her shaking voice probably wasn’t helping. </p><p> </p><p>Before she could think about it too hard she reached out and grasped the pen, signing her name quickly. Caleb did the same and vanished the paper before she could fully let her own actions wash over her.</p><p> </p><p>She had become reckless and more than a little too willing to take a leap of faith when there was the possibility it could lead her to those she loved since she met the guys. But was that really surprising? That’s how she got to the past in the first place and she couldn’t bring herself to regret that. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was right. She was brave. The verdict on smart was still out.</p><p> </p><p>“Excellent,” Caleb said happily. “Why don’t we say Friday night for your first performance? We’ll put together something special.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, this has been fun but we have to be going now,” Alex said as he stood. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around for tonight’s show?” Caleb offered. “The night is still young.”</p><p> </p><p>“Night?” Alex frowned. “It’s morning…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes landed on the large clock across the room as dread settled in her stomach. </p><p> </p><p>“That can’t be right,” She gasped, standing up abruptly. “Alex the clock…”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going,” Alex said firmly, grabbing Julie’s wrist and tugging her towards the stairs. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll walk you out,” Willie stood but Alex didn’t look back.</p><p> </p><p>“We remember the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie let herself be pulled out into the hallway and then back outside. Only she found herself blinking in confusion as her brain tried to process what she saw. </p><p> </p><p>It was dark out.</p><p> </p><p>When would she stop being surprised by all the ways the universe had of putting her in positions where she hurt the people she cared about? </p><p> </p><p>“Come on!” This time it was her turn to tug Alex, dragging him down the street away from the hotel they wouldn’t be able to see if they looked back. “I’m late!”</p><p> </p><p>The words of the probably not Willie echoed in her mind. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If you knew time like I do you wouldn’t speak of wasting it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was starting to know time all too well.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let’s all do a group breathing exercise ok? *In....out....in....out*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. A riddle with no answer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before we get into the inevitable angst huge THANK YOU to NightMonkey77 who made a visual representation of the stickers mentioned in the story and a logo for our beloved Team Teenage Time Traveler (manageable shortened version of name still needed lol). I’ll incorporate them later but check them out here for now: https://flic.kr/ps/3Vvtjm</p><p>THANK YOU! ☺️</p><p>Now...umm...we all know this is going to hurt. But hopefully in a way that isn’t all bad. </p><p>Love you guys. Enjoy (as much as possible)! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Julie and Alex were back in his sister’s car she expected him to speed off with all the urgency she felt pounding through her veins. Instead he just sat there, his knuckles white where they clutched at the steering wheel. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” She asked him desperately, gesturing to the road. “We have to go. I was supposed to be at Luke’s parent’s house for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex squeezed the wheel tighter for a moment before releasing it and sitting back against his seat with a thump. </p><p> </p><p>“What am I doing? Julie what did <em> you </em>just do?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head, just once, from left to right, as though she could shake away the judgement and the fear and the anxiety that was quickly filling up the car. She understood that what had just happened had the potential to spiral out into ripples of consequences most of which had the potential to be very, very bad. </p><p> </p><p>But she could only focus on one thing at a time without completely losing her grip on her emotions and right now that was getting to Luke. </p><p> </p><p>Still. Alex didn’t seem prepared to help her achieve that goal until she gave him an answer.</p><p> </p><p>“I did what I had to do, Alex,” She told him, her voice cracking slightly though she ignored it and pushed forward anyway. “My family could think I’m dead right now. I owe it to them to try everything to get back to them.”</p><p> </p><p>She expected Alex to argue, to hit her with an anxious monologue about all the reasons she had just made a huge mistake. She was prepared for that. What she wasn’t prepared for was him fixing her with an infinitely sad look as he reached for her hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think your family would want you to put yourself in danger for them anymore than we would have wanted you to do that for us if we had a choice?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie sat in stunned silence for a moment as his words lodged themself in her mind along with the lump forming in her throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Alex...you were <em> gone </em>. All of you were. I had to watch it happen. I couldn’t not try to save you. I couldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex squeezed her hand and leaned forward to meet her eyes directly, despite her best efforts to avoid his.</p><p> </p><p>“I know. I know, ok? And I love you so much for that. But I just want you to hear it from the other side and since your family isn’t here I’ll say it. You’re not just your dad’s daughter or our friend or Luke’s person. You’re Julie. And you matter too much to throw yourself off of every cliff you come to thinking it might save someone else some pain.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie let her eyes drift shut, her only recourse to hide from Alex’s intense stare and his words that were impossibly cruel in their kindness. It wasn’t that he was wrong. She knew he wasn’t. But he didn’t understand that all of her sacrifices felt ultimately selfish to her. All a desperate attempt to avoid sinking into the darkness that she had occupied for a year after her mom died. The hurt and the guilt and the hopelessness. </p><p> </p><p>The fear of that feeling amplified by the loss of the guys or her family or Flynn too much to contemplate when combined with the knowledge that she didn’t try everything. </p><p> </p><p>She opened her eyes and pulled her hand out of his and back onto her own knee where she dug her fingernails into the material of her borrowed jeans.</p><p> </p><p>“Alex, <em> please </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighed and started the car.</p><p> </p><p>Julie thought she would feel relieved once they started moving but the dread was still overwhelming. </p><p> </p><p>“Can you drop me at Luke’s parent’s house?” She asked, trying to distract herself with logistics. “Maybe he’s still there.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex frowned as though he didn’t want to say what he was about to say anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie...it’s almost 10. There’s no way he’s still there.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie slumped even further down into the seat of this strange, rectangular car. Her mom had always been very firm that waiting for the world to be fair was a losing strategy employed by people afraid to take responsibility for their own lives. Julie hadn’t appreciated that much when she was young though she had come to understand it when she was older. She had more in common with her five year old self at this moment though. She was overtaken by the sudden urge to stomp her feet and cry about how unfair it all was. </p><p> </p><p>Instead she just tried to organize her thoughts into some semblance of an excuse or an explanation she could give to Luke that would make him forgive her. </p><p> </p><p>That turned out to be a losing battle too. Add it to the list alongside not getting too involved in the guys’ lives and getting home without involving Caleb and his schemes. </p><p> </p><p>By the time Alex was pulling to a stop at the end of Bobby’s driveway she had no more idea of what to say to Luke than when they set out. She had been in such a rush to get to him but now that she was so close she hesitated with her hand on the door handle.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to go in with you?” Alex asked gently.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re a good friend, but that’s not going to work,” Julie told him, trying to muster up anything resembling a smile and failing miserably. “I have to do this on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“You could tell him the truth you know,” He said.</p><p> </p><p>“Not without hurting him more,” Julie replied quickly, hand flexing on the handle she still gripped. “I’ve come this far, it’s not worth it.” </p><p> </p><p>“We all get hurt in life, Julie,” Alex insisted. “Why don’t you let him decide what’s worth it.” </p><p> </p><p>She knew there was wisdom in Alex’s words but she wasn’t ready to hear it. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I got you into this. Your parents are going to be so mad,” Julie said instead. </p><p> </p><p>He cringed but shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“I decided what was worth it too,” He told her, reaching out to pat her head, massaging at her scalp for a moment before pulling back. “Let’s just wish each other luck.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath and forced herself to open the door and begin the long walk up to the garage, the sound of Alex driving away not reaching her ears until she was almost there. Both doors were closed when she arrived and she pulled one open a slim crack, sliding inside without giving herself time to talk herself out of it. The scene that greeted her was a familiar one, Luke sitting alone on the couch, but unlike in the past he wasn’t watching the door with an expectant smile. He wasn’t even tapping his foot while wearing an annoyed pout. </p><p> </p><p>He was staring off into space, his expression eerily blank. She didn’t realize until that moment that his constant motion was one of the things she associated with him most. The way he was just sitting there so  <em> still </em> made him feel like more of a stranger than he ever had back when he didn’t recognize her. </p><p> </p><p>Once he saw her he let out a huff of air she could hear clearly in the silence. She opened her mouth to say something, what she didn’t know, only to let it fall closed again, her brain apparently not yet prepared to follow its lead. He stood but he didn’t come any closer.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re ok.”</p><p> </p><p>Of course the first thing he said would be something reflecting concern for her safety. The rush of love mixed with guilt that hit her instantly was as potent as it was agonizing.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke,” She took four quick steps toward him, struggling to hide her hurt when he flinched away from her. “I am so, so sorry that I bailed on you.”</p><p> </p><p>Even as she said it she cursed her choice of words, cursed the way she could hear them echoing back to her in his voice. </p><p> </p><p>“Where were you?” He asked. </p><p> </p><p>His voice was brittle, like it was hovering on the edge of releasing some carefully withheld emotion but his face was achingly open. Like he was still ready for there to be some magical answer that made all of this ok, this night and all of the ones that came before where she almost let him in.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t give him that. Couldn’t give him anything she wanted to, not even the courtesy of the truth. </p><p> </p><p>“I...Rose and I just lost track of time,” She tried, hating herself for the lie even as she told it.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a humorless chuckle and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? You’re lying to me?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. When she opened them again his jaw was clenched.</p><p> </p><p>“When you didn’t show up I thought something happened to you. I called Rose. She didn’t even see you today.”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I’m so sorry,” She said, feeling the carefully constructed lies she had used to prop up her life here crumbling beneath her leaving devastation in their wake. </p><p> </p><p>“So where were  you?” He asked, not cruelly but with increasing desperation . </p><p> </p><p>“I...can’t tell you,” She practically whispered, the completely inadequate words burning her throat as they escaped. “It was just something I needed to do. Trust me, I never meant to stand you up. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s face contorted as he started to lose control of his emotions. </p><p> </p><p>“Trust you? All I ever <em> do </em>is trust you, Julie. And you never return the favor.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Luke had arrived at his parent’s house a few minutes early he had lingered on the porch waiting for Julie. He had picked up some flowers for his mom at the supermarket on the way, nothing special, just the first bunch he had seen in his hurry. They were a little much actually now that he looked at them more closely, all clashing yellows and greens and oranges. Still, he knew his mom would like them and he had the vague romantic notion that he would pull one out and give it to Julie before they went in. He could almost see the way her face would light up when she walked up and saw him standing there with that dumb flower in his hand, waiting. </p><p> </p><p>Only she never walked up. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually his mom opened the door, ushered him in scolding him for not coming in sooner, assuring him that she was sure Julie would be there soon. </p><p> </p><p>Only she wasn’t there soon. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t there at all. </p><p> </p><p>He made them wait so long that the food was cold by the time they finally started eating, though in the end it hardly mattered. He could barely taste it anyway as his mind ran through all of the horrible things that could have happened to keep her from showing. Halfway through a bite the worry overwhelmed him and he stood abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as muttered something about needing to make a call and escaping to the living room. He grabbed the phone with shaking hands, dialing Rose’s number and sending up a silent thank you that he had always been good at memorizing numbers. </p><p> </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p> </p><p>“Rose? It’s Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lover boy! How’s my favorite musical couple. That girl of yours doing ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s heart sank to his shoes, no, more like through his beat up vans and into the floorboards.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s not with you?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause before Rose responded, her voice tinged with confusion and worry.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I haven’t spoken to Julie since you guys played the Orpheum. What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke could barely hear her through the rushing in his ears. </p><p> </p><p>“Never mind,” He mumbled. “I must have gotten things mixed up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Luke…”</p><p> </p><p>He hung up before Rose could say anything else, not ready to be asked questions he couldn’t even let himself contemplate the answers to. </p><p> </p><p>He trudged back to the dining room, sinking into his chair. His mom had cleared their plates while he was gone and replaced his half eaten dinner with a slice of cake. </p><p> </p><p>Luke stared at it blankly for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>When he had called to tell his mom that he would be bringing Julie with him to dinner she had wanted to know what kind of dessert she liked. Luke hadn’t had any idea of course, his ignorance now suddenly feeling like a metaphor he didn’t want to examine too closely. In the end he had told his mom to make something pretty, some part of his brain thinking that surely all girls liked pretty things. And now as he took in the pink frosted cake, a ring of strawberries topping it he thought that Julie probably would have liked it. </p><p> </p><p>If she had been there to see it.</p><p> </p><p>His parents did their best to keep up the conversation as he forced himself to eat but when the subject of school came up all of his careful resolve to have this go well abandoned him.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll have to repeat the year but I’ve spoken to your principal and he thinks it’s doable,” His mom told him.</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t make any sense to go back now that Sunset Curve has a deal. The rest of the guys will graduate soon and then we’ll probably be touring.” </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, you know we’re happy for what you’ve accomplished…” His dad started.</p><p> </p><p>“But not at the expense of your education,” His mom finished.</p><p> </p><p>Luke gritted his teeth for a moment trying to imagine what Julie would tell him to say if she were there. Only he couldn’t because he was distracted by the fact that she <em> wasn’t </em> there. </p><p> </p><p><em> Why wasn’t she there </em>?</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll get my GED,” He said finally. “It’s the same thing anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Surely touring can wait one year,” His mom said and that was as much as Luke could take. </p><p> </p><p>He dropped his fork to the table with a clatter, gripping the edge of the table as he pushed himself to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got to go,” He said, glancing from his mom’s crestfallen face to the already wilting flowers she’d placed in a vase on the center of the table. “I’m sorry. I’ll call you.” </p><p> </p><p>He moved quickly through the house, his body already halfway out the front door when his mom’s voice stopped him.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, wait!”</p><p> </p><p>He froze, unable to run away from her again fully. </p><p> </p><p>She pulled him into a hug as he turned towards her, leaning in to speak softly near his ear. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Julie didn’t make it sweetheart.” </p><p> </p><p>He leaned into her for just a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” He managed to get out before pulling away. “I love you, Mom.” </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too,” She spoke through tears less bitter than the ones he usually caused her. </p><p> </p><p>Then he had headed back to Bobby’s checking in to make sure his friend hadn’t seen her. He hadn’t. He brought Luke the cordless phone to the porch and watched as he called Alex, whose parents would only say in a clipped tone that he couldn’t come to the phone. He tried Reggie next who hadn’t seen her either and had wanted to come over right away so they could start looking. Luke had shot that plan down. </p><p> </p><p>After all, she wasn’t really missing. She had <em> left.  </em></p><p> </p><p>It occurred to him for the first time that maybe she had left for good, that all those cryptic conversations had been preparing him for <em> this </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He brushed off Bobby’s offer to wait with him and trudged back to the garage, sinking into the couch to wait. </p><p> </p><p>And he waited.</p><p> </p><p>And now here she was, right in front of him, and it pissed him off so much. Because he was angry with her, he was so, so angry with her but he couldn’t even feel it properly because he was so damned <em> relieved </em>that she came back. </p><p> </p><p>That she came home.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, I never meant to stand you up. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke could hear her words but he couldn’t understand them. They were usually so in sync that words weren’t even really necessary. He could just feel what she wanted him to know, how she felt, all the stuff that mattered. </p><p> </p><p>Only maybe that was the problem.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he had let their connection blind him to everything she wasn’t saying, or worse everything she had tried to tell him that he just didn’t want to hear. </p><p> </p><p>Anything other than “I feel it too and everything’s going to work out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust you? All I ever <em> do </em>is trust you, Julie. And you never return the favor,” He meant it to sound angry but in the end he just sounded hurt. </p><p> </p><p>She flinched at his words and he hated that his instinct was to reach out and comfort her. </p><p> </p><p>“I told you, I do trust you,” She protested weakly. </p><p> </p><p>“You have a funny way of showing it,” He shot back. “Just tell me this didn’t have anything to do with your plan to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie jolted as though he had slapped her.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would that matter?” She whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Because!” He shouted, his last thread of control snapping. “Because I needed you tonight and I think you were out there figuring out how to leave me faster.” </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” Her voice was a broken version he had only heard during her nightmares. “It wasn’t like that. I swear it wasn’t.” </p><p> </p><p>“I thought...you said you...if you love me why can’t you just be honest with me,” Luke hadn’t meant to say that, certainly hadn’t meant to say it in such a quiet, vulnerable voice, hadn’t meant to watch her face so expectantly for a reaction. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t...I didn’t say that,” She sputtered and he swore he felt his heart crack. </p><p> </p><p>“Forget it,” He muttered, wiping at his suspiciously moist eyes as he started to turn away from her. “If you don’t it doesn’t matter…”</p><p> </p><p>Before he could register the fact that she had moved she was standing directly in front of him, yanking him back towards her and reaching up to place a hand on either side of his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course, I love you,” She said earnestly, tears suddenly making their way down her face. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” </p><p> </p><p>He heard himself make a little choked sound at her words which would have been embarrassing had he been capable of feeling anything but her in that moment. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you so much it scares me,” She continued, inching up onto her tiptoes to get her face closer to his even as her hands dropped to press against his chest, breathing shakily against him. “I’m terrified, Luke. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>He let out a shaky sigh, giving in to every instinct that was screaming for him to touch her. He leaned down until his forehead rested against hers, his eyes sliding closed for a moment as he just breathed in the scent that would always be Julie to him. </p><p> </p><p>The cheap floral shampoo Bobby had stolen from his mom for her. The fresh scent he assumed was the laundry detergent her clothes were washed in a lot more frequently than his were. And something sweet and subtle he suspected was just part of her. </p><p> </p><p>“You were figuring out how to get home?” He repeated, all of the fight long since drained out of him. </p><p> </p><p>He felt her nod her answer against him, heard the way she tried to swallow down a sob that attempted to escape at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t cry,” He said softly, pulling back just enough that he could reach up and wipe away her tears with both thumbs, tracing gentle paths under her eyes. “Please don’t cry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Luke,” She said again.</p><p> </p><p>He just nodded. He believed her. That wasn’t the problem. </p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes I feel like you’re the only person I really know,” He told her honestly. “And sometimes I think I don’t know you at all.” </p><p> </p><p>“You know me,” She said fiercely. “You know me better than anyone.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying to,” He said. “You know I was so desperate for a distraction earlier I was looking at Bobby’s copy of Alice in Wonderland. You know what stuck out to me?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t respond, just looked up at him with wide, painfully hopeful eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“That Mad Hatter said to Alice or maybe she said it to him, I don’t remember which way it was...something like ‘I think you could do something better with your time than waste it asking riddles that don’t have answers’,” He sighed and reached out to trail a finger lightly down the side of her face. “I think you’re my riddle with no answer. So why do I still want to ask anyway?” </p><p> </p><p>She sagged against him and he wrapped his arms around her, partly out of instinct and partly because he was tired. </p><p> </p><p>Tired of looking for answers he couldn’t find, tired of being angry, tired of pretending he would ever do anything but accept Julie with open arms as many times as she wanted to come back to him. </p><p> </p><p>After a minute or so he pulled back but took her hand, pulling her over to the couch and down onto its surface beside him. He hadn’t taken the time to fold it out and it was a tight fit but she wasn’t complaining. She rolled to face him, burying her face in the soft spot between his neck and shoulder. They lay there for a long time, neither of them sleeping, him stroking her arm again and again in a gentle rhythm meant to comfort him as much as her.</p><p> </p><p>He was finally starting to drift off when her voice escaped as a breath against his skin. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Luke.”</p><p> </p><p>He turned his head just enough to press a barely there kiss to the crown of her head. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p> </p><p>It was the third time he had told her but the first time he had actually said it. </p><p> </p><p>He wished it had been under different circumstances. He wished the words could be sweet, and light and giddy with the rush of first love. He wished he could have crafted the moment for them the way he crafted a melody for one of his songs, picking all the best parts and weaving them together until it found its way into the heart of whoever hears it. </p><p> </p><p>He wished a lot of things.</p><p> </p><p>But he didn’t regret saying it.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t regret feeling it.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually he felt her drift off in his arms and tugged her even closer against him before finally allowing himself to follow her. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ok, maybe you didn’t enjoy reading that but I listened to my “Sad Girl Forever” playlist for 4 hours while I wrote this so who is really suffering here??? 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Can we just be happy now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it’s so late but here it is! Had another one of my minor breakdowns where I hate everything I’m writing but came through in the end. 🙃 </p><p>The title of the chapter and corresponding line are taken from CWJBHN by Jake Scott and Josie Dunne and that is recommended listening for this chapter. </p><p>Clueless came out in July of 1995 and this story is still in the spring and I DON’T CARE. 😂 Shoutout to the commenter who inadvertently predicted this movie would make an appearance.</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Julie woke feeling excessively warm. It took her a few moments of half aware shifting to realize that the culprit was not her secondhand blanket but Luke’s body squeezed tightly against hers. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It wasn’t the biggest couch in the world and she was impressed that neither of them had ended up on the floor as they slept. Her face was pressed up against his chest, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and their legs tangled together. She felt loved and lucky and safe. It was nice. It was very nice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was also sweltering and his cast was scratching against her collarbone uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie wriggled gently until she managed to extricate her arms from his grip, using them to leverage herself until she was able to roll over. Luke grumbled something she couldn’t make out in his sleep and repositioned his arms, this time joining them just above her waist, inadvertently pulling her shirt up a few inches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but blush slightly as his arm brushed her bare stomach. She wore cropped shirts all the time and was constantly tying up her tees to expose a sliver of skin. She wasn’t a prude and besides she was totally evolved enough to know that a girl’s body could be exposed without it implying anything. She was as comfortable in her skin as any teenage girl could be. But then again she usually wasn’t quite this close to Luke either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that she was complaining really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew her situation could have been much, much worse this morning. Last night she had expected him to be justifiably angry with her and he was. But when that anger had faded away so quickly to a deep hurt she had been taken off guard. And when he had managed to make most of their conversation not about being stood up but simply a desire for her to let him in...that had caused her more pain than the fight she had prepared for. She was hurting him and she hated herself for it. Maybe it was time to tell him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except that would hurt him too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And if she had to choose between him being angry at her for letting him down or angry at himself for costing her so much...her instincts were still screaming that the first was the better option. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But maybe her instincts on what the right choice was were wrong. Or maybe there was no right choice. Maybe just this once it would be ok to let go and simply do the easier thing and let whatever happens after that just happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But still...she had worked so hard and put her heart through so much to try to protect him. Maybe…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke interrupted her racing thoughts by shifting behind her, his arms tightening around her waist as he let out a low, gruff noise indicating he was on the brink of waking up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” She murmured, trying to keep the awkwardness she felt out of her voice and suddenly very glad that he couldn’t see her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” He rumbled against the back of her neck, dipping his head to nuzzle his nose against the soft skin there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie reached down to lay one of her hands over his, landing on his cast instead. Close enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you didn’t push me off the couch,” She joked, attempting to keep her voice light despite the situation they had yet to resolve. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought about it,” He replied, snuggling against her again in silent confirmation that he was teasing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have deserved it,” She sighed. “Luke, I’m so sorr…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please stop apologizing,” He cut her off, his own sigh escaping as a rush of air against her neck. “I know you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he wouldn’t let her babble out a thousand apologies to try to relieve her guilt, what was she supposed to do to combat this sick feeling in her chest?  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it has to be confusing,” She said hurriedly, trying to focus on the warmth of him against her back and not the cold dread settled firmly in her stomach. “And frustrating and weird, the way me going home has gotten twisted into this big, secretive thing and I just…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie,” He interrupted, his voice quiet but still capturing her attention instantly. “Do you want to tell me where you were last night?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke could be a lot of things. Oblivious. Immature. Over the top. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he could also be eloquent and sweet and loyal. And he had a way of cutting straight to the important stuff when he wanted to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently this was one of those times. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” She said, knowing it was an honest but completely inadequate answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s not talk about it until you are sure,” Luke said quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke…” She started, moving to sit up and face him only to have his arms lock more tightly around her, holding her in place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we just stay like this a little longer?” He asked, his voice muffled as he rested his face more firmly against her for a moment. “Can we just be happy now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Against her better judgment a smile grew on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to say to that?” She said, struggling to keep her voice serious and the conversation on track.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re smiling,” He chuckled almost directly into her ear and she fought against the urge to giggle giddily in response. She succeeded but it was close. “Just say ‘Luke, you’re a genius’ and call it a day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you have a right to be upset,” She argued, unsure why she was trying to talk him out of forgiving her other than the suspicion that it might have something to do with a need to punish herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe,” He said. “But I think I have the right to be happy with the girl I love too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie slipped her hand down from his cast until it actually managed to find her original target, linking one of her fingers with his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” She grinned against her better judgment as she gave in to the urge to tease him. “Happy with who?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave her another squeeze before answering in an amused tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The girl I love. She’s pretty great but apparently her hearing sucks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just wanted to hear you say it again,” She admitted before pausing slightly. “You sure you want to let me off the hook?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look Julie, I don’t know everything that’s going on with you but I don’t think you’re trying to hurt me. I think you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Maybe that makes me an idiot but oh well. Just promise me a couple things, ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What things?” She asked cautiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t lie to me,” He said in a rush. “If you aren’t ready to tell me the truth just say that. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart clenched and her mouth ached to apologize again but she swallowed down the word she knew he didn’t want to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” She said simply instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you have to tell me if you’re in some kind of trouble,” He added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ok, she hadn’t been expecting that one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the one hand she knew that by Luke’s likely definition she was already in trouble on multiple fronts. But if she interpreted his request as telling him if she thought she was in danger then she could agree to that. If things went that drastically wrong with Caleb she would have to warn him anyway in case the ghost decided to target the people she cared about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But her worry that this clause might actually come into play wasn’t the only thing that made his request stand out to her. She felt another swell of guilt and love rush over her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stop being so annoyingly nice to me?” She insisted, only partially joking. “How are even your conditions about helping me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled and fiddled with the finger she still rested among his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, that one's about helping me too,” He argued. “If somebody hurts you, I’m gonna get hurt too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie stiffened at his statement and knew he must have felt it but found herself unable to suppress her reaction. The words she had written for Flynn, the boy with the familiar face who had quoted them to her from the bench of her mom’s piano, the way that even through her annoyance some part of her had suspected that they were his truth even then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie forced her way out of Luke’s grip and sat up, turning to face him from her spot hovering on the narrow edge of the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” He asked, struggling to push himself into a half sitting position with his good elbow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie forced a small smile before leaning in slowly to press a soft kiss to his lips. She gave him plenty of time to pull away but of course he didn’t. She pulled back and brushed his messy bedhead back from his forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing’s wrong,” She managed a more genuine smile. “It’s just..do you ever get that feeling like you’ve lived a moment before? Or something freakishly similar?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat up the rest of the way and nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess so. Deja boo or whatever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie burst into laughter at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did I say?” Luke demanded, trying to look annoyed but doing a terrible job of covering up how happy he was to see her laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” She shook her head as she got her laughter under control. “So what do you want to do today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a meeting at the label later so I figured we’d work on some more songs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie tilted her head and fixed him with a pointed look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke, you have enough songs to present for the next ten years,” She reminded him. “What do you say we take a break and do something fun today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smirk edged onto his face as he leaned even further into her personal space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like a date?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was having a little trouble forming coherent words with his face that close to hers but she got there in the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like two people agreeing to kill time together in an enjoyable way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow as his smirk grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like a date to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Julie scooted back to give her enough room to clear her head only to almost fall off of the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke reached out to steady her even as his face contorted adorably in amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and go take a shower,” Julie rolled her eyes and stood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, ma’m,” Luke saluted and headed towards the bathroom, turning to shoot her a grin before he disappeared inside. “Try not to fall off anything while I’m gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uggggh,” Julie groaned, burying her face in her hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Secretly she wasn’t annoyed by his antics, not even a little bit. How could she be when she was so relieved and he was proving to be so damn close to perfect? He just wanted to be happy while they could and it was hard to argue with that plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they were both showered and ready to go Julie made him wait in the doorway as she climbed up to the loft and grabbed several items that had him eying her suspiciously on her return.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing with those?” He asked, pointing skeptically at her collection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold this,” She shoved Rose’s Polaroid camera into his arms before turning her attention to the other two items she held, Teddy Luke and the purple bag Alex had given her for her birthday. She unzipped the bag and stuffed the bear’s lower half inside, rezipping it just enough so that it wouldn’t fall out before slipping the bag across her chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He deserves a day out too,” Julie informed Luke. “And we should document it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is humiliating,” Luke muttered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you don’t want to go?” She asked knowingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say that,” He said hurriedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke suggested they see a movie. Once they made it to the theater and examined the choices Julie couldn’t help but bounce up and down excitedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clueless! I love that movie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It just came out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean it looks really good,” She backtracked. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guy selling tickets gave them a judgmental look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you kids be in school?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re older than we look,” Luke insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked pointedly at the teddy bear strapped to Julie’s torso but ultimately shook his head and sold them the tickets along with a gigantic tub of popcorn. They were the only ones in the theater for a weekday morning show and Luke took advantage of the privacy to immediately toss popcorn at her playfully. She retaliated by forcing him to pose with Teddy Luke for a series of pictures that she exclaimed over excitedly as he sank lower and lower into his seat. Then the movie was starting and Julie was doing her best not to quote along with all of the dialogue. She did look over frequently to check Luke’s reactions to her favorite parts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily he seemed too smug every time he caught her to be suspicious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the movie they walked around aimlessly, pausing every few minutes to pose Teddy Luke for a photo, Luke eventually snatching the camera so he could take the 90s equivalent of a selfie with his face pressed to hers. She reached over and pulled off his beanie ignoring his protests and pulling it down onto her own head. He grumbled but still raised the camera to take another photo leaving her to surprise him by turning to kiss his cheek just as he snapped it. As soon as the picture developed she grabbed that one and stuck it in her back pocket, ignoring the way he pouted as she claimed it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should watch Clueless again this weekend,” Julie said as they walked home. “I think Bobby would really like it if he can get past the whole book adaptation thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never gonna happen,” Luke stated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, not so much,” Julie agreed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Overall it had been a good day, better than she’d had any right to imagine it would be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately the same could not be said for the evening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had started with Reggie informing them that even though Alex had been home sick the day before he had somehow managed to get himself grounded and wouldn’t be joining them for the meeting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They can’t ground him from band obligations now that we’re signed,” Luke insisted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apparently they can,” Bobby observed unhelpfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been less than a day and Julie was already bordering on breaking her promise not to lie to Luke, her only saving grace that he hadn’t outright asked her if she knew what Alex had done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was too much of a technicality for her to feel good about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Things hadn’t improved once they made it to the label.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Queenie had barely glanced at the songs Luke brought, handing them off to a nameless producer before ushering the boys and Julie into another room. Once there Julie had stood against the wall as Queenie and another woman made the boys try on multiple sets of matching outfits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would we wear the same thing?” Luke demanded, tugging uncomfortably at the shiny purple button-up they had him in. “We look like really tacky waiters.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What you wear sends a message,” Queenie explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it that we want to get punched?” Luke shot back. “Cause I’m feeling punchable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude!” Bobby interjected. “Chill.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not so bad,” Reggie tried. “But I miss my jacket.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is just one option,” Queenie insisted. “But a matching look can be powerful. Think of the Beatles in their suits. Iconic!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well these shirts aren’t iconic, they’re idiotic,” Luke grumbled. “When can we talk about the music?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should take a break,” Bobby interrupted, shooting Luke a warning look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Queenie agreed and spun on her heels to leave the room, annoyance clear in her walk. Bobby jogged after her while Julie crossed the room to approach Luke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...that was a little intense,” She observed carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t what I care about,” He said earnestly. “I just want people to hear our songs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They will,” Julie assured him. “Hey, I’m going to go grab a water, want one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke nodded, managing a small, grateful smile before his face settled back into a grumpy one and he headed over to check in with Reggie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie walked into the hall, taking a right and hoping she remembered correctly how to get to the kitchenette Queenie had showed them earlier. She knew there was a fridge in there with drinks that were up for grabs. She was distracted as she entered the room so she didn’t register what she saw at first. Her senses caught up with her quickly though and she slapped a hand over her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had walked in to find Queenie seated on the counter, Bobby leaning in to kiss her in a much more than friendly way. They had pulled apart when she shrieked in surprise but they hadn’t separated by much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just...water, needed some, sorry, I’ll just…” Julie crossed the room and grabbed two bottle of water at record speed before fleeing the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t get far before Queenie’s voice was stopping her in her tracks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned reluctantly to face the older girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m sorry I interrupted,” She said again awkwardly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Queenie shook her head but she looked nervous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, just...I’d appreciate it if we kept this between us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Julie agreed quickly, just wanting the conversation to be over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just if it gets back to my dad…” She sighed. “I take this job really seriously. My songs will be forgotten in three years but doing this...I can help make real magic with artists I believe in. You understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly...she did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was just surprised that Queenie did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I understand,” She assured her. “I won’t say anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Queenie sighed in relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Julie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie nodded and then she was heading back to Luke with yet another secret to keep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But as she entered the room and saw the way his face lit up when he saw her despite his bad mood, she couldn’t exactly begrudge Bobby and Queenie for this additional burden. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She understood better than anyone that love wasn’t something to be ignored just because circumstances weren’t ideal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was something to be cherished. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No matter what. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Julie and Luke had a cute day despite their hovering issues, Teddy Luke got a field trip, and Bobby and Queenie are confirmed...does this make up for last chapter??? 🤞😂</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Family to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's me. Do you guys remember me? I've been away so long...not really. But longer than I intended to. Two days ago I was so excited to write and then my power went off for like 10 hours, in a very cold place, in the winter. So instead I spent my night charging my phone in my car or burrowing under a pile of blankets with my cat and a winter coat. So writing didn't happen that night. Then yesterday the motivation just wasn't there. And then tonight google docs kept crashing while I tried to write. So the universe was against me but I prevailed lol! Hopefully this chapter is worth the wait. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Julie had known that Friday night was going to be special. Well, if a quickly approaching gig to be performed under duress at a ghost club could qualify as special. What she hadn’t known was that the day itself was going to be special too. Well, if the boys’ school being closed for some kind of teacher training day could qualify as special. Either way, it definitely meant that her plan to spend another cute day alone with Luke to keep her mind off of her evening obligations was out the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Reggie had turned up in the garage before lunchtime, Alex still being grounded and missing in action. Julie was already feeling guilty enough for that before Bobby brought up how worried they had been about her the other night. Julie cringed at the mention of her already infamous disappearing act. Sure, yesterday they had seen she was back and ok but that didn’t mean they had forgotten. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose had been even worse. When Luke had finally pointed out sheepishly that he might have scared the older girl a bit, Julie had borrowed Bobby’s phone to call her. Rose had lectured her for ten minutes about how LA was a dangerous city and pulling a disappearing act on the people that cared about her wasn’t cool. It had been uncomfortable and yet somehow intensely comforting to have her mother scolding her again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now here she was back in Wonderland, and Bobby of all people was expressing concern for her wellbeing and she didn’t know how to handle it. Not when so much of her mental energy was taken up with anxiety over what she knew was to come in the next few hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is why she was especially grateful when Luke jumped in to answer for her, always ready to defend her even from well meaning friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t need to keep talking about it,” He insisted. “It was all a misunderstanding anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised an eyebrow skeptically, but mercifully decided to let the subject drop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” He drew the word out in a way that made it clear he was letting it go as a favor to them and not because he actually believed what Luke had said. “So why are we wasting our day off? Who wants to go to the arcade?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke immediately grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now you’re talking,” He said enthusiastically, already standing and half bouncing towards the door. “It’s always a good day to kick your butt on Street Fighter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby rolled his eyes but moved towards the doorway too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Charming, Luke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke ignored Bobby’s comment and turned to Julie who was sitting next to Reggie on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie? Reg? Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie slung an arm around Julie’s shoulders and tugged her into his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys go ahead, we’re going to have a family day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shot him a look as though he was crazy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you’re not actually her big brother, right?” He pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Reggie said. “I’m her cousin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t a real thing,” Bobby reminded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not what I heard,” Reggie shrugged and Julie met Luke’s eyes for a brief exchange of amused looks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re all family to me,” She said as a compromise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie nodded his head smugly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Told you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to go, Jules?” Luke asked, turning both his attention and his best puppy dog look towards her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby met her eyes over Luke’s shoulder and mouthed “Jules” with a smirk but she only shook her head warningly before answering her maybe boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys go ahead and have fun, we’ll hang out here,” She decided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go to the arcade with Luke, of course she did. But she figured there was probably a reason that Reggie wanted her to stay behind. Besides she thought it might be for the best that she didn’t spend this particular day having to pretend everything was normal. At least Reggie knew most of her secrets at this point and could be counted on to listen if she needed to vent her worries. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned and took a step closer to her, dropping his voice as though everyone in the studio couldn’t still hear him perfectly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could stay,” He offered softly, searching her face for what exactly she wasn’t sure. “I know you have to go...out tonight. I thought we’d hang out first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had taken his words about honesty to heart and told him as much as she could, that she had to go somewhere that night. That she wasn’t ready to tell him where but that she had every intention of coming back to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave him her most reassuring smile and shook her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll hang out tomorrow. You and Bobby should go, it’s been a long time since you two had time together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Luke,” Bobby chimed in. “When was the last time you took me on a date? It’s like you don’t appreciate me anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, shut up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No seriously, just because we’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean I don’t need pampering and attention,” Bobby teased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Old married couples, am I right?” Reggie leaned over to mock whisper to Julie, earning him a giggle from her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m never speaking to any of you again,” Luke dragged a hand down his face in frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not even me?” Julie asked in an exaggeratedly sweet voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke smiled a little and bit his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’ll consider it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, flirting right in front of me? This is the lack of respect I’m talking about,” Bobby remarked sarcastically causing Luke to groan yet again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just get out of here before I murder you with my bare hands,” Luke said, turning on his heel and stomping out of the garage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait for me, sweetie,” Bobby called after him, shooting Reggie and Julie one more mischievous look before disappearing after his friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shook her head in amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got to be honest, I do not get those two,” She chuckled. “Half the time they want to kill each other and half the time they seem like they’re the closest out of all of you. Sometimes both at once.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seems like you get it pretty well to me,” Reggie told her agreeably. “We all say we’re like brothers but those two are </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>like brothers. The kind who have to share a room and absolutely hate it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but laugh at that mental image. It sounded about right. It brought to mind yet again just how hard it was to believe that Bobby could have betrayed them after they died. But then again she still didn’t know the whole story and probably never would now that the timeline was different. The fact that he had been a teenager who lost all three of his best friends in one night wasn’t lost on her either, especially now that she had seen just how close they all were for herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you thinking about how Bobby stole our songs and how that makes no sense?” Reggie broke into her thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shot him a surprised look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bobbed his head and back and forth proudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m smarter than people think,” Reggie said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie patted his knee in agreement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are, Reg.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But in this case we talked about Bobby and Luke and then you made your ‘I’m thinking about something unpleasant from the future face’ so it really wasn’t that hard to guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie made a small noise of surprise and disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a face like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure you do,” Reggie insisted. “It looks like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He frowned dramatically, the corners of his mouth dipping as his forehead furrowed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, this was just great. Of all the things from their former lives that were echoing into the past she couldn’t believe their accusations about her facial expressions had to be one of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not my face,” She said half heartedly with a defeated sigh. “But yeah, I was thinking about what Bobby did after you guys died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She paused to examine his face for a reaction to that statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, it’s probably weird for you when I say things like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie shrugged, his sweet smile still firmly in place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not dead though,” He reminded her. “Thanks to you. So now I just get all the cool parts of knowing I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a ghost without actually having to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be </span>
  </em>
  <span>a ghost. Pretty rad if you ask me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie was both baffled and glad that he could see it that way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” She said hesitantly, her own mind still racing with thoughts of what is and was and could be. “Pretty rad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie must have noticed her less than stellar mood, because of course he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Julie, don’t worry,” He said, leaning in to meet her eyes directly. “Whatever happened in the future. You saved us and we’re here and Bobby’s here and everything’s good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie took a deep, calming breath, letting his soothing words wash over her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything’s good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What a novel concept.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was just starting to feel slightly more relaxed when Reggie spoke up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That being said, Alex did call me last night and we should probably talk about how you basically sold your soul to the devil to try to get home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much for everything’s good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God,” Julie muttered, Reggie’s blunt description of the situation inexplicably sending panic spiraling up within her. “That’s not...that’s not exactly...he’s not the devil and I just promised to sing not give him my...but I don’t trust him and...is it hot in here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was suddenly warm and tingly all over, not to mention a little dizzy, air seeming just slightly harder to force into her lungs. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, she had felt it almost every day for a year as she tried to force herself to play and sing after her mom died, but she hadn’t felt it since she met the boys the first time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie…” Reggie said cautiously, placing a gentle hand on her wrist. “I think you’re having a panic attack.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Julie stuttered out, her racing heart saying otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” He stood and tugged her with him. “Lay down on the floor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” She asked skeptically, her shaking hand clutching on to his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me,” He told her, leading her over to an open spot on the floor and guiding her to lay down on it. “Hang on, sit up for just a second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She obeyed and he laid down sideways behind her before encouraging her to ease her head down onto his stomach. Julie tipped her head back slightly and closed her eyes. She had to admit his strategy wasn’t terrible. There was something about feeling the hard floor below her that made her feel grounded to the moment and further from the future that scared her. And having a Reggie shaped human pillow both kept her comfortable and allowed her to feel his even breaths and force herself to match them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of his hands found its way to her hair, carding through it over and over in a soothing repetitive motion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie kept her eyes closed until she felt the panic recede. Here she was, lying on the floor of Wonderland. She had never felt so much like Alice, somehow she had just felt more like she was tumbling through space then when she had actually fallen between dimensions. She had a vague memory of the character constantly alluding to becoming someone else. She wished it was that easy. What had Alice said after she fell down the rabbit hole? </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll stay down here till I’m somebody else.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Part of Julie wished she could remain on the floor until she had done the same. Until she was someone who didn’t have to make impossible choices. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once her heart calmed and her breath came easy she opened her eyes slowly, reaching up to catch Reggie’s hand and draw it down to her shoulder linked with hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Reggie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” He squeezed her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know what to do?” She asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex is my family,” Reggie explained. “And we all need help sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Julie’s turn to squeeze his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I meant what I said earlier, Reg,” She said earnestly. “You’re my family too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aww, Julie!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie’s thumb brushed over her wrist and a sharp shooting pain shot through the spot he had touched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow!” Julie yanked her arm down, her other hand coming over to wrap around her burning wrist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie sat up a little, careful not to dump her on the floor as he looked down to check on her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t answer right away as she moved her hand and examined it again. She was too distracted by the dread in her stomach and the faintly glowing purple symbol on her wrist. She had thought she saw something when she signed the contract with Caleb, a quick flash of purple on her wrist. But Alex hadn’t reacted and it had been gone by the time she took a proper look so she had convinced herself she imagined it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had wanted to believe that she imagined it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now as she stared at the evidence and felt how it throbbed slightly beneath her skin, the truth was a little harder to run away from. Caleb had stamped her when she signed that contract. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie?” Reggie was still waiting for a response, his eyes locked on the wrist that she was holding out in front of her face. “What’s wrong? And why are you looking at your arm like it belongs to someone else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie frowned and sat up fully, turning to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t see that?” She held the offending limb out for him to inspect more closely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squinted his eyes and examined it like the good sport he was but he clearly didn’t have any idea what she was talking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see anything,” He admitted, following her lead and sitting up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, that explained why Alex hadn’t noticed at the club. But why was it showing up now? And why was it aching like it was trying to tell her something? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or...maybe it was reminding her of something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie, you’re kind of freaking me out,” Reggie broke into her thoughts. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, that was fair. By all rights she should probably be freaking out too. Only strangely enough she felt calmer than she had a few minutes ago. Like her body had already processed one bout of panic and was physically incapable of dragging her into another so soon. She wasn’t complaining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember I told you that Caleb stamped you guys when you were ghosts?” Julie asked, bracing herself for a less than stellar reaction. “Well, turns out he did the same to me when I made that deal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s…” Reggie swallowed hard. “Not good. Isn’t that how he killed us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie cringed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Technically you were already dead but...yeah,” She admitted. “But I don’t think what I just felt  is the same as the jolts he used on you. This hurts a little but not bad. I think...I think he’s reminding me that I have to show up tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie frowned but then nodded determinedly and stood up holding out his hand to help Julie up. She took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is not good, Alex was worried about something like this. But he has a back up plan for this kind of scenario.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie blinked up at him in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um...what’s the back up plan?” She asked nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie made a big show of dusting off his jacket sleeves and straightening his collar before answering with a worryingly enthusiastic tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, we’ve got to go!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started tugging her towards the door, her resistance not seeming to phase him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reggie! Hold on! What’s the back up plan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned and gave her a smirk that did not inspire confidence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke frowned at Bobby’s question, looking up briefly from the claw machine he was currently occupied with to see his friend leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His infuriatingly insightful expression trained directly on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk about what?” He asked, turning back to the game just in time to see himself lose again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever weirdness is going on with Julie and by extension you,” Bobby answered as though it should have been obvious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no weirdness,” Luke insisted, digging in his pocket for another quarter and depositing it in the game. “Why would you say that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby scoffed, and Luke glanced over just long enough to glare at his friend before turning back to the game. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I don’t know, maybe because something has been off with Julie since she showed up and a few days ago you were freaking out on my doorstep because she disappeared,” Bobby pointed out calmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words managed to take Luke by surprise causing him to jump slightly and jerk the joystick he held erratically. The claws opened and closed nowhere near his target and Luke slammed his hand down beside the joystick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it!” Luke swore before managing to get his emotions under control and jamming his fingers into his pocket again in search of yet another quarter. “I told you guys that was a misunderstanding” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh,” Bobby responded dryly, his clear dismissal sawing at Luke’s already frayed nerves. “And the fact that you played Street Fighter for like 20 minutes before taking a sudden interest in this claw machine isn’t a sign that you’re losing it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke gritted his teeth and forced his focus to remain on the game, managing to get the claw to brush against the ring in its plastic container before the game ended yet again without yielding the prize he was after. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this why you invited me here?” Luke snapped, his annoyance with his friend’s line of questioning breaking through. “To interrogate me about my love life?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause before Bobby spoke again and when he did the change in his tone was enough to cause Luke to turn and give him his full attention for the first time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. I actually wanted to talk to you about mine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke examined Bobby’s face and was surprised to find not a hint of sarcasm or mockery there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your love life?” He clarified, leaning against the game that had been tormenting him so much lately. “So there is something going on with you and Queenie. Why didn’t you tell me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby held up his hand and started counting off the reasons on his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been a little busy with your own girl stuff,” He started. “Queenie is nervous about people finding out, and...I’m telling you now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, it was hard to argue with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is she nervous about people finding out?” Luke asked suspiciously. “Does she think cause she’s a popstar she’s too good for you or something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby shook his head immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why?” Luke pressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby sighed and reached up to run his fingers through his hair in an anxious gesture Luke had only rarely seen him use. He raised both of his eyebrows as he waited for him to continue. He had known that Bobby liked Queenie, obviously. He had said as much and his mooning over her hadn’t been subtle enough to slip past Luke, distracted or not. But he was starting to get the feeling that Bobby </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> liked her and that did surprise him. People often didn’t understand their friendship. Even Alex and Reggie occasionally found themselves perplexed by the way their relationship seemed to be based almost entirely on antagonism and yet they were in some ways closer to each other than any of the others. It was like they were exact opposites and somehow that allowed them to even each other out in ways that they both needed though they weren’t ever eager to admit it out loud. The idea that he had been ignoring a crush Bobby was wrapped up in was understandable given his own situation with Julie and all of the big life changing events going on right now. But if like him Bobby was in the middle of falling in love for the first time...Luke hated himself a little for not realizing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her dad is...intense,” Bobby finally answered. “She wants to impress him so much and Sunset Curve is her chance to do that. If he finds out she started dating one of the guys in the first band she’s working with he’s going to have her head. And she’ll probably never get another chance to earn his respect again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke considered that information for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does she want this job anyway?” Luke asked, trusting that Bobby would hear the lack of malice in his voice. “Being famous isn’t enough? You like them ambitious, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby chuckled and shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s rich coming from the most ridiculously ambitious person I know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke smirked a little at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that’s fair.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Believe it or not she actually cares about music,” Bobby explained. “And yeah, she has a complicated relationship with her dad and wants approval even though they don’t see eye to eye. Honestly, she kind of reminds me of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am nothing like Queenie Hart,” Luke insisted, ignoring the way Bobby raised an eyebrow at his answer. “But let’s be honest, we all knew you were kind of obsessed with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There it is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, ok, I’m joking,” Luke assured him. “So why are you telling me if she’s worried it will get back to her dad?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I trust you,” He said as though it should have been obvious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke struggled to hold down the urge to hug his friend in that moment. All of that time spent with Julie really was turning him into a complete sap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does anyone else know?” He asked instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie does,” Bobby admitted. “She, uh...might have seen a little too much last night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke scrunched his face up in disgust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gross.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> much,” Bobby insisted quickly. “The point is Queenie asked her not to say anything and now I”m asking you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, bro,” Luke answered quickly, not bothering to hide his sincerity inside of a joke when he could see the seriousness in Bobby’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Bobby visibly relaxed slightly at his words. “I really like her, Luke.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke shifted slightly uncomfortably at the confusing mix of awe and sadness in Bobby’s voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So that’s a good thing, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby sighed and leaned a little more heavily against the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever get the feeling like you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy? Like something is destined to go wrong and you can feel it coming but you can’t do anything to stop it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke froze at Bobby’s words, the way they could easily have been ones that he said about his own situation not at all lost on him. A sudden vision of Julie standing in front of him telling him she couldn’t tell him where she had been, appeared in his mind. The absolute panicked despair he had felt when he sat in Wonderland alone wondering if she had left him for good. The background level of anxiety he was feeling right then given that he knew she was going off to God knows where again later that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he knew exactly what feeling Bobby was talking about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All the time,” He admitted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how do you deal with it?” Bobby asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke managed a half smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ignore it for as long as possible then become overwhelmed with anxiety, have an emotional outburst, then repeat?” Luke offered like a question though he already knew it to be true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby chuckled and rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, the Luke Patterson method. A classic. How’s that working out for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not great,” Luke joked, though they both knew the truth of his answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thought as much,” Bobby sighed. “We’re screwed huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Basically.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby pushed off of the wall and joined Luke by the claw machine from his nightmares. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you trying to win her anyway?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say I was…” He trailed off at Bobby’s pointed look. “Ok, ok, that purple ring.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby squinted through the glass and Luke was prepared for him to make fun of his dedication to obtaining a worthless piece of plastic but instead all he did was produce a quarter from his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me have a go?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke felt another rush of affection for his friend that he very much did not want to give voice to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if you want to, whatever.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby scoffed and deposited his quarter before reaching for the joystick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke lost the battle to ignore the grateful feeling building inside of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Bobby,” He said in a rush. “And I just want to say even though Queenie drives me crazy if she makes you happy then I’m happy for you and…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Luke?” Bobby cut him off as he jerked the joystick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He asked awkwardly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not do this,” Bobby said flatly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank, God,” Luke muttered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobby laughed as he failed to capture the ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This thing really is cursed isn’t it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sounds familiar.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lots of family time, in all the forms that takes. Yes, Alex was missing but he will play a prominent part in the next chapter. </p><p>And oh yeah...surprise...Julie got stamped. 😬</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. How do I tell you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, it's kind of a funny story. This chapter was so hard to write for some reason and it took me so much longer than I meant for it to. But here's the thing...I wrote every day even though I didn't post. I was making progress it was just slow...and now that I've finished this chapter is like 6,500 words. Oops. This fic is such a monster in terms of size but here we are. No regrets as Luke would say. 🙃</p><p>Also, the boys are back together according to Instagram so that's exciting! </p><p>Ok, let me know what you think. This one took blood, sweat and tears lol. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie had managed to slow Reggie’s progress dragging her from the garage but only after she had used the physical weight of her body to offer resistance. Honestly, he had glanced back at her with such determination that she was pretty sure he considered just scooping her up and tossing her over his shoulder. Luckily the warning look she shot him seemed to work and he sighed and stopped trying to tug her outside.. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, you’re holding up the plan.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie huffed and placed her hands on her hips as she stared him down. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know what the plan <em> is </em>,” She reminded him. </p><p> </p><p>“True,” He acknowledged. “Basically we need to do some light reconnaissance, stage a rescue mission and approach the enemy as a team.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie raised an eyebrow and shook her head slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“What does that even mean?” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie grinned and shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>“It means we’re going to go break Alex out.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s...um...it?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie smiled, her doubts seeming to go right over his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” He said eagerly. “Cause if you have to go back in there we’re going together.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie felt the threat of tears burning at her eyes as she took in the combination of his sweet smile and his implication that he and Alex had never even considered letting her walk into Caleb’s club alone. </p><p> </p><p>“You sure you want to go in there with me?” She asked, her voice smaller than she intended it to be. “After everything I told you about Caleb?”</p><p> </p><p>“Duh,” Reggie laughed as though her question was ridiculous. “I was never going to let you go alone. But now that we know you’re stamped we need...oof!”</p><p> </p><p>His words were abruptly cut off when Julie crashed into him, knocking the air from his lungs as she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her face to his chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Reggie,” She said without pulling back, allowing herself another moment to just feel safe and loved. </p><p> </p><p>His arms came up to hold her against him as his chin came down to rest on top of her head. </p><p> </p><p>“You literally jumped into the past for us, why is it so hard for you to believe we’d do anything for you?” He asked softly. “You’re like...Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>He said that like it should mean something, like despite all her Alice themed pondering about who she was and who she wished she could be, she was in fact something to be treasured and protected. </p><p> </p><p>He said it like he knew exactly who she was.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re like <em> our </em> Julie and no sing-songy ghost is going to hurt you on our watch.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave him one last squeeze before pulling back far enough to smile up at him, grateful that he had managed to comfort her in the most Reggie way possible. </p><p> </p><p>“Alex called you?” She asked, deciding that while she had his attention she would circle back to that detail.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Last night. Now that whole managing to get himself grounded while supposedly sick thing makes a lot more sense. I assumed he had washed his mom’s good sheets with his pink hoodie again but it turns out he stole a car and snuck out. Way cooler.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, I don’t want him to get in even more trouble,” She hesitated.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie laughed and gave her shoulder a playful shove. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you kidding? This is the coolest Alex has ever been. He’ll never forgive you if you deny him this opportunity to be a bad ass.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but let out a burst of laughter at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, a slightly less anxious but still internally freaking out hero,” Reggie corrected. “Still.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, let’s do it,” She said. “Let me grab my stuff first though.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie left the garage while she hurried up to the loft. A few minutes later she stood in the driveway with Rose’s jacket draped over her arm. He approached her with a grin, dangling keys triumphantly from his fingers. </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head with a slightly nervous chuckle. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby and his parents really need to work on their home security.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Their hide-a-key hasn’t changed since we were in middle school and Bobby still hasn’t moved his spare key. Part of me thinks he likes us stealing his van. That’s good for the plan.”</p><p> </p><p>“The plan to break out Alex,” She reiterated.</p><p> </p><p>“Yep!” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie grabbed her hand and tugged her down the driveway. </p><p> </p><p>They climbed into Beatrice and Reggie started the engine, Julie trying to calm her lingering nerves as they headed towards Alex’s house. </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t talk much on the way, Reggie focusing on the road and Julie rubbing one of the rhinestones on her mother’s jacket over and over as she tried not to let her thoughts get away from her. She had to keep her hand busy to resist the urge to trace the symbol on her wrist. She could still feel it throbbing, not quite painful but irritating, like an itch she couldn’t scratch or an elbow bumped against something a few minutes ago. She suspected more than ever that the reason the stamp had activated was to call her to the club. The pain right now might be an afterthought but that didn’t make her feel any better about the fact that Caleb apparently had the ability to hurt her at any time. </p><p> </p><p>She thought of Luke, innocently playing arcade games, and her mind landed on the image of him seeing her assaulted by jolts then skittered away, unwilling to linger there. She was coming uncomfortably close to crossing the line between something that was inarguably not good and something that was flat out dangerous. She had promised to tell him about the latter and as much as she didn’t want to she knew she would keep her word. She couldn’t lie to him anymore. She couldn’t. Omission was hard enough. </p><p> </p><p>She was scared. Denying that would be completely pointless. Once she no longer had the distraction of Luke’s potential anger she had felt steadily building dread at the thought of returning to the club after signing that contract. The culmination of that unpleasant feeling being the panic attack Reggie had helped her through. But now that at least some of her worst fears were confirmed and she knew that there was more to their deal than Caleb had let on, she felt strangely numb. Like she knew how bad her situation was but she couldn’t fully process the possible ramifications for herself. Instead she stared out the van window while thoughts of Luke or her Dad or Flynn all absolutely wrecked with worry floated in and out of her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Part of her felt like she was being punished. The Willie from the future had clearly warned her that it wasn’t enough to save the boys from their untimely fate. She had to <em> want </em> to get home. And as much as she had told herself over and over that she <em> did </em> want that and she was working towards that goal at all times...she hadn’t been. Not really. She could tell herself all day long that she had been trying to help Luke and Reggie with their parents and helping the band get signed because she suspected it was part of her unfinished business. The truth was it was never totally about that. If she was being totally honest with herself it had never even been <em> mostly </em> about that. She had wanted them to be happy and she had wanted to be a part of that, to be a witness to that happiness. She had wanted to be happy <em> with </em>them. And by the time true urgency to get home to those she had left behind kicked in she had already wasted so much time. </p><p> </p><p>No. </p><p> </p><p>Even in her current semi-panicked state she couldn’t bring herself to label her time spent in 1995 as <em> wasted </em> . It had only been a little over a month but it was easily some of the most confusing, and scary and crazy and <em> best </em>times of her life. </p><p> </p><p>But Willie was right when he said she had to want to go home. Queenie was right when she said that Julie had to commit to things. She couldn’t get home if most of her actively wanted to stay. Even Caleb was right in his creepily observant way...she didn’t belong here. </p><p> </p><p>It had been a lovely dream. </p><p> </p><p>But it was time to wake up now. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie?” </p><p> </p><p>She was startled from her thoughts by Reggie’s gentle voice, jumping slightly as she realized that the van was no longer moving. In fact it was parked on the side of the street in a neighborhood Julie didn’t recognize. She let her gaze drift down the row of houses as though she would somehow be able to tell from the outside which belonged to Alex. </p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” Reggie asked, drawing her attention back to him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie gave herself a little shake and forced a halfhearted smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. Is that Alex’s house?” She nodded in the direction of the nearest house. </p><p> </p><p>“Actually it’s the one past that,” Reggie pointed to the house beside the one she had asked about. </p><p> </p><p>“So what’s the plan?” Julie asked, hoping there was one. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie grinned. </p><p> </p><p>“A diversion.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie raised an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>“Let me guess...the diversion is…”</p><p> </p><p>“Me,” Reggie interrupted proudly. “Yep. I’ll  knock on the door and that’s the signal. I’ll distract his parents trying to get them to let me in to see him while he escapes out the window. It’s simple and that’s why it’s genius.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie resisted the urge to remark on how it just might be a little too simple to actually work. </p><p> </p><p>“So what do I need to do?” She asked instead. </p><p> </p><p>“Just sit right here,” Reggie told her, pausing when she shot him a skeptical look. “I’m sorry, just sit right here and be pretty.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s kind of sexist,” Julie sighed and folded her arms. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, the being pretty thing isn’t part of the plan, it’s just a fact,” Reggie said as he wiggled his eyebrows at her, earning him a short burst of laughter. </p><p> </p><p>Even when she was anxious about everything ranging from their attempt to sneak Alex out behind his parents’ back to her possible torture at the hands of a long dead magician, Reggie never failed to make her laugh with his incredibly specific mixture of goofy sweetness. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok, let’s get this over with,” Julie gave him a little shove towards the door. </p><p> </p><p>He shot her one more grin before opening the door and slipping out. He made a big show of crossing the distance between the van and Alex’s front door as though he were a spy infiltrating the bad guy’s lair. Of course he was in a suburban neighborhood and planning to knock on the front door not scale a wall but he certainly wasn’t letting that dampen his enthusiasm for his role. Julie cringed slightly as he hid for a moment behind a bush for seemingly no reason other than it fit his fantasy. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Reggie,” She groaned even though he couldn’t hear her. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily he decided to get back to his actual task at that moment, emerging from behind the bush to approach the door and knock loudly. She assumed that was the signal to alert Alex to the fact that they were there to pick him up. At first nothing happened but then multiple things seemed to happen at once. First the door swung open and a man appeared in the doorway. Julie couldn’t hear what he was saying but if the frown on his face was anything to go by he wasn’t particularly happy to see Reggie. The other thing that happened was a window on the side of the house opened and a lanky form tumbled out. Julie barely had time to register Alex’s presence before he was darting towards the fence that separated his house from his neighbor’s and hauling himself over it. She lost sight of him for a few moments then he emerged from his neighbor’s yard, sprinting towards the van and opening the back door to climb in. </p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to look back at him as his harsh breaths echoed in the small space. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok? You came out of that window kind of hard.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex waved his hand as if to dismiss her concerns. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m good. Are you good? Reggie was going to take you tonight. He was only supposed to break me out if things went bad.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned and gave in to the urge to run her fingers over the symbol on her wrist that she knew he wouldn’t be able to see. </p><p> </p><p>“Um...well, one of Caleb’s stamps appeared on my wrist a little while ago. I think it’s making sure I honor our agreement.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex’s eyes grew as he took in her words. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Julie, that qualifies as things going bad.” </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t really disagree with that. </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t hurt much,” She tried to reassure him. </p><p> </p><p>“It <em> hurts </em> you?” Alex demanded, reaching forward to pull her wrist towards him as though he could save her from the pain if he only frowned down at it hard enough. </p><p> </p><p>So much for reassuring him. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” She insisted, pulling her wrist gently out of his grip just as Reggie returned to the van. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine now,” He said by way of greeting. “Cause we’re here.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, guys,” Julie said, trying to keep the doubt of her voice. She was truly grateful for their company even if she didn’t see much that they could do to actually help. </p><p> </p><p>“I brought supplies,” Alex offered, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie and dumping the items he had stuffed in there into a messy pile on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>“Supplies?” Julie echoed. </p><p> </p><p>Alex nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, uh, I wasn’t sure what would work for protection you know? So I brought everything I could find.” </p><p> </p><p>He grabbed a few items and shoved them into her hands. </p><p> </p><p>“So here’s a rabbit’s foot for luck, but actually it’s not real cause...that’s barbaric, but maybe it will work anyway? Oh, and my family isn’t religious or anything but my mom did have this little buddha from her spiritual phase. It’s not a cross or anything but maybe ghosts don’t like enlightenment either, I don’t know. And where is it...oh, here you go. Salt. Just in case.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie looked down at the assortment of items clutched in her hands as she was hit by a sudden memory. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> According to the internet, salt burns their souls out.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She forced herself to push down the rush of emotion that hit her at the thought of her little brother promising to protect her in his own comical and misguided way. </p><p> </p><p>“Nevermind, this was stupid,” Alex muttered, drawing her back to the present. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” She insisted quickly, hoping they would ignore the slight catch in her voice. “Thank you. Both of you. I can already feel the good vibes from this stuff. I think tonight is going to be fine.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex looked pleased for a moment before his expression sunk back into a frown. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to kill him. He never said anything about stamping you!” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie raised his hand as though he were in class. </p><p> </p><p>“I thought he was already dead?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“I know that, it was a figure of...ok, not worth it. Let’s go before my parents figure out you’re still out here, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie saluted and started up the van, following Alex’s directions to get them moving in the direction of the club. </p><p> </p><p>Julie did her best to keep a calm exterior as they made their way towards whatever ominous fate awaited her. They managed to hit traffic and it took almost an hour to make it to the street beside the diner she had spotted last time. The sun was just starting to sink over the horizon as they piled out of the van. She wondered if Luke and Bobby had made it home from the arcade yet. Was he sitting on that couch pretending not to worry about her while he absolutely worried about her? She forced herself to take a deep breath in an attempt to clear her head. That wasn’t a helpful mental image. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I supposed to see where we’re going?” Reggie asked. “Cause I don’t see any epic old school hotels.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s there,” Julie confirmed. “Last time Willie had to take us across the boundary but...I have a feeling I’ll be able to do it this time.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“Really? Wait...you can see it now? Because of the stamp?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie very purposefully ignored the growing concern on his face and only nodded, holding out a hand to each of her friends. </p><p> </p><p>“Here, take my hand and let’s see if it works.” </p><p> </p><p>They both did as she said, Reggie with an air of excitement and Alex with a slightly sweaty palm indicating he was nervous enough for all of them. He was there though. They both were. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t alone. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in one more shaky breath and then took a big step forward, tugging both boys with her over the invisible line she remembered Willie leading them over last time. She didn’t have to wonder for long if it had worked. </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa,” Reggie breathed, his head tilted back as he took in the impressive building. “Rad.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ominous, creepy, filled to the brim with lying spirits, but yeah, let’s go with rad,” Alex observed. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get this over with,” Julie sighed, not dropping her friends’ hands as she made her way towards the entrance. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as they stepped inside they were greeted by a familiar face. </p><p> </p><p>“You made it!” Willie said enthusiastically, glancing between Julie and Alex with his signature sweet smile firmly in place. </p><p> </p><p>“Not like we had much of a choice,” Alex said flatly. “Your boss stamped her.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie’s smile sagged just a bit but recovered quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not a big deal, it’s just part of a contract with the club. I’ve got one too. I’m sure yours will be removed once you’ve played all your shows.” </p><p> </p><p>“You really don’t know anything yet, do you?” Alex asked, his tone sad enough to make Julie’s heart clench involuntarily. </p><p> </p><p>She wondered if it would have been a kindness to leave his almost relationship with future Willie out of her story. Should she have spared him the tantalizing idea of what could have been when it was so far out of reach now? At the end of the day it was just one more pointless question that she could ask herself later once she got through the night, hopefully alive and well. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie took the strained silence as an opportunity to introduce himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi! I’m Reggie, formally a ghost, now human.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie managed to plaster a smile back onto his face though Julie didn’t miss the disappointed look he shot at Alex first. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m Willie, formally a human, now a ghost.” </p><p> </p><p>“So, lead the way,’ Julie spoke up, eager to get this over with. </p><p> </p><p>“Right, of course, come on,” Willie gestured for them to follow him and lead them back to the ballroom where they had met with Caleb before The audience hadn’t yet arrived but unlike the last time they visited there were other ghosts crossing the room involved in their tasks and a band in sparkling outfits was gathered on the stage. Caleb was seated at what she was quickly realizing was his table, front and center in front of the stage. Just like last time he seemed to sense their presence as soon as they entered the room. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie! There’s my star!” </p><p> </p><p>They stopped short in front of his table, none of them making a move to sit this time. </p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t tell me you were going to stamp me,” Julie said tensely, figuring their was no point in beating around the bush at this point. </p><p> </p><p>Caleb shook his head dismissively. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t want to bore you with all the unimportant details of making a soul deal. That will disappear as soon as your contract is fulfilled.” </p><p> </p><p>“Unimportant details?” Alex repeated incredulously. “You used those stamps to kill me and my friends. ” </p><p> </p><p>Caleb’s eyes narrowed as he took in that information. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s interesting information, even if I doubt your interpretation of whatever this lovely young lady has told you about future events. But rest assured that lifers can’t be killed with a soul stamp. It’s merely there to keep you honest. As long as you perform the three shows as promised you have nothing to worry about.” </p><p> </p><p>“You never told me you could hurt ghosts with the stamp,” Willie spoke up, his tone confused. </p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t told you a lot of things,” Alex offered, fixing Caleb with a cold look. </p><p> </p><p>“William, you’re only hearing one side of the story from people who didn’t even experience it for themselves,” Caleb tutted, placing his hand on the younger ghost’s shoulder. “Don’t get all bent out of shape over things you don’t understand.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie didn’t say anything further but his expression remained clouded. </p><p> </p><p>She was still terrified about the implications of being stamped obviously. But there wasn’t much point in lingering on them right then. It had stopped aching as soon as she stepped into the club so at least that hunch had turned out to be correct. Maybe what Caleb said about it disappearing once she fulfilled her contract was true. Maybe it was a lie. But he wasn’t going to tell her anything else right now that she would believe. She had to focus on what she had agreed to and get her and her friends out of there as quickly as possible. </p><p> </p><p>“Now, we have a show to prepare for! Julie, your friends can join me here at my table as my guests. We’ll get you changed into something more appropriate and then get you up there. The audience should be arriving any minute,” Caleb announced.</p><p> </p><p>Julie was prepared to protest that timeline when Caleb snapped his fingers and she suddenly found herself wearing a tight red dress. </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa,” Reggie gasped. “That was super cool and totally freaky at the same time.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie for her part was busy tugging down the hemline on the magic dress that was now clinging to her form. She should have been absolutely thrown off by what had just happened but somehow in the scheme of things she had experienced in the last few months it wasn’t crazy enough to push her over the edge. She was honestly just glad that he had apparently deemed her mother’s jacket worth keeping and it still hugged her upper body comfortingly. </p><p> </p><p>“We haven’t even discussed what songs I’m doing,” Julie pointed out. “How will the band know what to play if we haven’t rehearsed?” </p><p> </p><p>Caleb gave her a look that bordered on disappointment as he waved his hands to indicate the setting they found themselves in, full of ghosts and inexplicable things. </p><p> </p><p>“Magic, Julie. Magic! Pick any song you want and even if they’ve never heard it they’ll be able to accompany you perfectly. Promise! Let’s say you’ll do three songs tonight shall we? Three gigs, three songs each. There’s a satisfying symmetry to that.”  </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. She supposed that magic ghost bands that could instantly tune into your musical wavelength made as much sense as anything these days. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, here they are! I have to go greet our guests,” Caleb told her. “Get up there and we’ll start momentarily.” </p><p> </p><p>Before anyone could respond he was gone leaving the rest of them standing awkwardly around the table. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess I better get up there,” Julie finally said. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you say break a leg before a ghost show?” Reggie wondered aloud. “Either way, I know you’ll kill it, Julie. Heh, kill it. In a ghost club. Get it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Please stop talking,” Alex sighed before sinking into the closest chair. </p><p> </p><p>Willie sat down next to him prompting Alex to jump up almost comically and move to a chair on the other side of the table. </p><p> </p><p>“I think I better not...yeah, this is better,” He sputtered, his nerves around the cute skater seeming to return now that Caleb wasn’t around to distract him with anger. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s Caleb’s chair,” Willie informed him, slight amusement leaking into his tone at Alex’s antics. “He doesn’t like when people sit there.” </p><p> </p><p>The color drained from Alex’s face and he started shoving at Reggie who had just sat down next to him. </p><p> </p><p>“Move down, move down, move down,” He insisted in a rush. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie did so with a grumble allowing Alex to move down one seat. </p><p> </p><p>Julie managed a small smile at the scene before her before stuffing down her nerves as much as possible and climbing the stairs to the stage. She faced the band awkwardly. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi, I’m Julie. Um, Caleb said I could sing whatever. Is that cool?” </p><p> </p><p>The ghosts in the band hardly seemed to pay her any attention at all, one sitting at the piano gave her a brief, disinterested nod and then they went back to chatting excitedly among themselves. Ok, so ghost bands didn’t have a lot of interest in lifer questions. Noted. </p><p> </p><p>So what exactly should she sing?</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t have long to think about it because suddenly the lights were dimming and a voice was booming from seemingly nowhere to announce the start of the show. </p><p> </p><p>Julie looked out at the audience and wondered not for the first time how exactly Caleb convinced so many lifers to come to his club. More importantly, why did he do it? Sure, he seemed like the type to want an audience at all times, but surely he could get that by playing to other ghosts? There had to be a reason that he preferred lifers. Still, she didn’t exactly have time to consider the possibilities right now. </p><p> </p><p>Julie made brief eye contact with Alex and Reggie before stepping up to the old fashioned mic that was waiting for her. She didn’t bother to introduce herself or engage in any of the “tell your friends” style banter that she would have if she was performing with the guys. She just needed to do what she had promised to do and nothing more. </p><p> </p><p>She closed her eyes for a moment to gather herself and suddenly she knew exactly which song she was going to sing. It was one she had been writing the past couple of weeks. No one had heard it, not even Luke and there was a very good reason for that. It was a strange choice but somehow it seemed like the only one in that moment. She wondered briefly if there was some ghost magic involved, like she had done a soul deal to perform and so the club was requiring her to sing the song her soul most wanted to give voice to. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was just her. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe she just couldn’t hold this song inside anymore.</p><p> </p><p>She opened her eyes and sang the opening notes of the song, amazed to find that the band really had jumped in with no hesitation, their accompaniment sounding exactly the way she had imagined it in her head. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of nervous you’ll find out  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though I want you to  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of nervous you’ll be angry  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though I know that’s not you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We’ve been through this all before  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And you never made me feel unsure  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But still  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A hush had fallen over the crowd as soon as she began to sing and Julie marveled at how different this atmosphere was from the raucous one the boys had described to her from their visit to the club. She wondered if Caleb would be satisfied with her slow and emotional song choice but if he was dissatisfied with her he didn’t show it on his face. He merely glanced around at the rapt expressions of the lifers and smirked. Julie allowed her eyes to slide over to her friends who were both watching her with knowing looks. She knew that the sadness in her lyrics was reflected in their eyes, that they felt sorry for her and that they ached for Luke too. She forced her gaze away from them, needing to focus on getting through the song and finding it almost impossible in the face of their pity. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of hopeful you’ll find out  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though that’s not fair  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of hopeful you'll guess </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though I’m so scared </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I don’t know what the right choice is </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And part of me wants you to insist </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But still  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Despite all of the circumstances that made singing this particular song in this particular venue absolutely loaded down with baggage she found herself slipping into the zone she always occupied when performing. She could feel the heady rush of doing what she was meant to do in front of people hanging on her every word. She wished Luke was there to sing with her but she had also never been so glad that he wasn’t. She gripped the mic stand and raised her voice to new heights as she began the chorus. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you this isn’t where I belong? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you this was a tragedy all along? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That we never had a chance </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At a happy ending at all  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just a few brief stolen moments </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Between your heart and mine </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She could hear emotion breaking through into her voice but she didn’t care. The ghost band once again seemed to sense what she had heard in her head and the music built and built before suddenly dropping to next to nothing. A few chords on the piano were all that accompanied the final verse as she gave it her all. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of happy we happened </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though I know the memories  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Will hurt </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sort of happy we met here </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even if it took a curse </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know that I’ve made mistakes  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And some of them are hard to shake  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But still  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie allowed herself to truly see the audience for the first time. They were still watching her with awed expressions but something about the lighting in the club seemed different. There was a soft golden glow settling over the whole room. Julie blinked and the glow was gone. She barely had time to wonder if she had imagined it before the band came back in full force for the final chorus. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you this isn’t where I belong? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you this was a tragedy all along? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That we never had a chance </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At a happy ending at all  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just a few brief stolen moments </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Between your heart and mine </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The band fell away again and Julie’s voice echoed through the ballroom alone on the final lines.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How do I tell you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her voice faded out and there was a brief moment before thunderous applause rang out through the room. Now that she wasn’t actually performing she couldn’t enjoy the audience’s reaction. It all felt wrong somehow which really wasn’t surprising given the circumstances. A quick glance at Caleb’s face showed he was satisfied. Determined to end the evening as quickly as possible, Julie launched into a version of Bright followed by Finally Free. Doing either of those songs without the rest of the band, especially Luke, felt incredibly wrong but she pushed through the discomfort. </p><p> </p><p>When she had finished the third song she barely waited for the final notes of music to fade away before she was racing down the stairs and over to where Alex and Reggie were sitting. Unfortunately that was also where Caleb was sitting. </p><p> </p><p>“I knew you were a star, Julie, but that was really something,” Caleb said as his band started playing agan and lifers moved to the front of the room to dance. </p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, that was crazy,” Willie enthused, reaching out to offer her a high five. </p><p> </p><p>She returned it since none of this was his fault but she ignored Caleb’s remark, turning to Alex and Reggie instead. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys ready to go?”</p><p> </p><p>They both nodded, already standing when Caleb spoke up again. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, aren’t you forgetting something? The  little matter of scheduling your next performance??”</p><p> </p><p>Julie froze. He was right. It hadn’t even occurred until this moment that if he wanted to he could refuse to set a date and draw all of this out indefinitely. Keep her trapped in the past forever with his stamp as a menacing reminder that he had a claim on her soul. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m thinking a week from tonight. How does next Friday sound?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a rush of relief at his words. Ok, so maybe he didn’t plan to keep her trapped in limbo forever. She was smart enough to know there had to be something more for him in all of this but she had no interest in hanging around his creepy club to try to figure it out. There would be time to think over all of the possible tricks and consequences later. She was sure Alex already had a headstart on her. All she wanted right now was to be back in Wonderland. </p><p> </p><p>With Luke. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure exactly when he had come to represent not only home but <em> safe </em> to her but she knew it was true. </p><p> </p><p>And right now she felt relieved that nothing worse had happened, and proud that she had managed to get through it, and grateful that Alex and Reggie had refused to let her do it alone. </p><p> </p><p>But none of those were what she truly wanted to feel. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted to feel safe. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” She told Caleb briskly, already backing away now that Alex and Reggie had made it to her side. “Next Friday.” </p><p> </p><p>“Until next time, then,” Caleb said before waving his hand and disappearing right in front of them. </p><p> </p><p>Alex let out a little squeak of surprise and Reggie quickly looked around in all directions, including up as though he might spot the magician somewhere. </p><p> </p><p>“So, I’ll see you guys next week?” Willie asked cautiously, trying to catch Alex’s eye despite the other boy’s best efforts to look anywhere but at him. </p><p> </p><p>When Alex didn’t answer Julie decided to jump in. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, see you next week, Willie.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“You really were amazing, Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>And then he was poofing out too. </p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could do that,” Reggie said in amazement. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m glad to be solid,” Alex countered, grabbing Julie’s hand. “Can we get out of here?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded and let herself be tugged around the tables and back towards the entrance. It wasn’t until the three of them were outside of the club and walking back to Beatrice that she felt like she could finally breathe freely again. She glanced down and noticed that her own clothes had returned as soon as she crossed the threshold. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that could have been worse,” Reggie observed. </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew he was right so why did she still feel so uneasy?</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, guys, did you see a weird...I don’t know...glow while I was singing?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“No. Was it your stamp? Are you ok?</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head quickly to reassure him as they climbed into the van. </p><p> </p><p>“No, it wasn’t my stamp. I thought I saw it when I looked out at the audience but it was so fast I”m not sure. I don’t know. Let’s not try to figure it out tonight.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie started the van while Alex fixed Julie with an examining look. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you’re ok?”</p><p> </p><p>She leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. How could she possibly be expected to answer a question that big? In the end she did what she had been doing for awhile. She went with the easy, mostly true answer. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. Just tired.” </p><p> </p><p>The boys chatted on the drive home, mostly led by Reggie who seemed to realize that neither of the other two were up to maintaining a conversation. Julie was grateful for the background buzz of their voices but she contributed very little. Instead she kept her head pressed to the glass and did her best to empty her mind of all the worry and fear and guilt that had been clouding it all day. When they made it back to Bobby’s place she reached over to squeeze Reggie’s hand gratefully before hopping out of the van. Alex had already crawled out of the back and was waiting to wrap her in a tight hug. She allowed herself to lean against his warmth for several long moments before pulling back. </p><p> </p><p>“I hope you didn’t get in even more trouble for me tonight,” She told him. </p><p> </p><p>He shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“I doubt they’ve noticed I’m gone and if they have who cares. Some things are more important.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie surged forward and hugged him again, his arms coming up to wrap around her as he chuckled slightly. </p><p> </p><p>“Go to bed, Julie. Everything will look better in the morning.” </p><p> </p><p>Oh. So she hadn’t been fooling him with her “I’m fine” act. She was sure Reggie had picked up on the truth of her feelings as well. She loved them for letting her pretend. </p><p> </p><p>She pulled back again and this time Alex gave her a little wave before climbing into the front seat of Beatrice. Bobby wouldn’t be happy when he woke up the next morning and his van still wasn’t back but he would live. </p><p> </p><p>Julie turned and made her way up the driveway, her feet dragging with sudden exhaustion as the adrenaline of her evening finally wore off. She eased her way inside surprised to find the garage already dark except for the small lamp by the couch. She had expected Luke to be waiting up for her anxiously but instead she saw the couch already pulled out and his form facing away from her, clearly sleeping on his side. She took a few more steps across the studio and spotted Bobby’s old paperback copy of Alice in Wonderland open on the floor as though he had dropped it when he fell asleep. She guessed he had been reading it while he waited up for her and didn’t quite make it. </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that she should quietly cross the room and climb up to the loft. She should get changed and sprawl onto her mattress and do her best to get some rest. Alone. </p><p> </p><p>But that’s not what she wanted to do. </p><p> </p><p>So she didn’t. </p><p> </p><p>Instead she toed off her sneakers and crawled onto the couch, wrapping her arms around Luke’s stomach and burying her face in his back. She managed to get through two deep inhales before he stirred slightly, one hand coming up instinctively to rest over hers. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh,” She whispered, not ready for anything more than the feeling of calm he brought her. “Go back to sleep.” </p><p> </p><p>“Are you staying?” He mumbled sleepily. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart clenched at his question. </p><p> </p><p>There were so many possible answers. </p><p> </p><p>I don’t know. </p><p> </p><p>I hope so. </p><p> </p><p>I can’t. </p><p> </p><p>And the hardest, scariest one of all. </p><p> </p><p>No. </p><p> </p><p>But she knew what he was really asking. And she knew she didn’t have it in her to answer anything beyond that. Not tonight. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” She whispered, somehow managing to pull herself even closer to him. “I’m staying.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song is by me. I was very loosely inspired by How Do I Tell You by Lizzie McAlpine. Now the tune I hear in my head is not that one and I only used the lyrics "how do I tell you" and "but still" and literally everything else is mine. I really only bring it up because it's an AMAZING song and you should all go listen to it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. The multitudes we contain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A few of you can vouch for me I fully intended to finish this last night but then the boys went live with that sweet, sweet chaos and I didn’t get to it lol. But here we are! I hope everyone enjoyed the streaming day yesterday. It was fun to watch the show with some of you. Thank God for tumblr lol. </p><p>Ok, on to the chapter! We have some Juke time and some overdue explanations...just maybe not the one you’re thinking.</p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie woke up slowly, her body starting to stir but her mind fighting to give in to the pull of sleep for just a little bit longer.</p><p> </p><p>As her senses gradually started tuning back into the world outside of her dreams, she realized that something was off. She somehow felt both extremely comfortable and yet uncomfortable at the same time. She was warm and the surface under her was soft but she was also being poked by various seams as though she had fallen asleep in her jeans. Had she fallen asleep in her jeans?</p><p> </p><p>That silent question was enough to tug her ever so slightly back towards consciousness, though her heavy eyelids stayed stubbornly pressed together. She tried to reach up to wipe at them only to realize that her hand was curled around something tightly. That was weird. Even weirder was the nagging feeling at the back of her mind like someone was watching her…</p><p> </p><p>Wait...was someone watching her? </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyes snapped open only to meet Luke’s sheepish ones much, much closer than she was prepared for. </p><p> </p><p>“Ahhh!” She shrieked, jerking back a little only to meet resistance. </p><p> </p><p>It turned out the thing she had been clutching to her chest was Luke’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>He was understandably startled by her instinctive decision to yell directly into his face and yelled right back.</p><p> </p><p>“Ahhh!” </p><p> </p><p>“Please stop screaming,” She moaned, her free hand coming up to rub at her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>Was there such a thing as a ghost club hangover? Probably not. Still. She had a bit of a headache and she had a suspicion that her night spent wracked with worry over Caleb and his contract and his stamp was to blame.</p><p> </p><p>Luke screaming in her face was just the cherry on top of a sundae made of built up stress and close proximity to supernatural weirdness. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” He said, giving her one of those signature puppy dog facial expressions. “You screamed first.”</p><p> </p><p>She sighed and released her grip on his hand, ignoring his disappointed look as she pushed herself up to sit cross legged on the pullout bed. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I wasn’t expecting to wake up to someone holding my hand and staring at me,” She told him pointedly. “And definitely not...um...looking like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Because she had just realized something that hadn’t made it through the fog of last night or the few blurry seconds this morning. Luke was shirtless.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t slept that way since that first morning she and Reggie turned up unexpectedly in the garage but apparently last night he had waited for her while going back to his old ways. </p><p> </p><p>That was new.</p><p> </p><p>The blush all over her face was not. </p><p> </p><p>Luke followed her lead and sat up, keeping his body turned towards her. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he balanced his good arm on his leg and leaned forward to prop his chin on his fist. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m pretty sure <em> you </em>were holding my hand,” He reminded her, causing a warmth to spread instantly to her cheeks. “And I got hot last night. And yeah, ok, so I was watching you sleep but that’s just cause I woke up and you were right there looking so cute.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie gaped at him for a moment just taking in how completely <em> not embarrassed </em>he seemed to be after saying something so blatantly embarrassing. </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t just say things like that,” She sputtered, letting out a frustrated huff of air when his smile only grew bigger as he took in her flustered reaction. </p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” He asked teasingly. “It’s true.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugggh,” She groaned, burying her face in her hands briefly before dropping them back to her lap. “You’re still impossible.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke was fully grinning now. He reached out to toy with one of her curls for a moment before tucking it gently behind her ear. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, you’re still cute so I guess that makes us even.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie was definitely blushing even harder now. She decided the safest course of action was acting like he hadn’t just said that.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry that I just came home last night and kind of...latched on,” She had to pause to clear her throat halfway through her sentence which definitely didn’t help her attempt to appear nonchalant.</p><p> </p><p>How could she possibly have blocked out the fact that she was pressed up against <em> him </em>and not the soft cotton of one of his band shirts?</p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head disbelievingly, his grin still firmly in place.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m definitely not complaining about that. I meant to stay up and make sure you were ok before I went to sleep but I guess I didn’t make it.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help the swell of guilt that rose up at his words. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m sorry if I worried you,” She said, avoiding his eyes as she scooted to the edge of the makeshift bed and stood.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t particularly have anything she needed to do or anywhere she needed to be. She just very much needed <em> not </em>to be sitting next to Luke with the memory of how it felt to be curled up around him fresh in her mind and the evidence of how she was still hurting him probably clear in his eyes. She crossed the room and stopped in front of the keyboard which was still set up on the other side of the garage. She didn’t turn it on, just let her fingers drag slowly across the keys. </p><p> </p><p>She heard a creak that indicated he had left the pullout behind as well but she didn’t turn around, keeping her fingers occupied with trailing across the keys. It was strange to feel the familiar sensation of them moving under her hands without the sounds that usually accompanied her motions. In a way she felt like an unplugged keyboard, like she had lost her voice somewhere along the line as she tried to protect the people she loved. How could she be Julie Molina, Rose Molina’s daughter, and not even be able to tell the boy she loved the truth? </p><p> </p><p>She had her reasons.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t make it any easier.</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts were interrupted when a pair of arms wrapped around her stomach from behind, his cast scratching at her lightly. Julie breathed in sharply as his characteristic warmth seeped into her instantly, somehow even more pronounced without the fabric barrier, leaving her leaning back against him without meaning to. His chin came down to rest on her shoulder as the side of his face pressed against hers. </p><p> </p><p>“You know I wasn’t complaining about waiting up for you either, right?” He asked, his voice still tinged with a hint of sleepiness. “I wasn’t trying to make you guilty.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged, smiling slightly as she felt his head bob up and down with her motion. </p><p> </p><p>“I know you didn’t mean to, but I still am.”</p><p> </p><p>She figured if she couldn’t be honest about her situation she could at least be honest about how it made her feel. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to be,” He assured her, yet another echo tugging at her mind. “You’re ok though?”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded and sighed.</p><p> </p><p>It must have been obvious that his reassuring words weren’t exactly sinking in because he decided to try a different strategy. </p><p> </p><p>He turned his head slightly and pressed a light kiss to the spot just below her ear. Julie shivered at the sensation trying to keep her cool and yet knowing there was absolutely no way that he hadn’t caught her reaction. Sure enough, she felt the way his lips stretched into a cocky smile where they pressed against her skin. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” She mumbled, her blush back in full force. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t say anything,” He teased, pulling back just enough to speak before leaning back in to press another quick kiss to that infuriatingly sensitive spot. </p><p> </p><p>Well, she was sufficiently distracted. She was also completely overwhelmed and now needed a distraction from the distraction. </p><p> </p><p>She turned her head towards him slightly, ignoring the small, displeased noise he made when her movement bumped him away from her skin. </p><p> </p><p>“You know one of the guys is 100% going to walk in here any minute,” She told him, forcing her voice to remain steady and teasing even though her nerves were still thrumming with tingly energy. “It’s a Saturday morning, the dork signal is probably already in the sky.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed and rested his forehead against the side of her face for a moment before pulling back and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. He gave her one more squeeze before releasing her entirely and taking a step back to lean against the wall. He gestured to the keyboard and smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Play me something.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated. </p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke chuckled and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Do I need a reason to want to hear my girl sing?”</p><p> </p><p>Ok, Julie decided she might as well get used to the blush on her cheeks being a permanent companion for the day. </p><p> </p><p>“Your girl?” She repeated, intending to sound mocking but managing only to sound a little awed. </p><p> </p><p>Somehow his eyes managed to soften even more than usual when he looked at her. Luckily he kept his tone joking even if his words were clearly sincere. She wasn’t sure if she could have handled it if he approached the subject seriously. </p><p> </p><p>“What? Am I wrong?” He asked, bouncing on his heels a little.</p><p> </p><p>They had already exchanged “I love you’s” so why was his labeling of her as his girl managing to shake her so much?</p><p> </p><p>If she was truly honest with herself, she knew. </p><p> </p><p>Ever since she had tumbled into the past she had been adrift, feeling caught between two worlds and like she didn’t fully belong in either of them. Even before that she had lost her sense of self. She knew there was more to her, but being Rose Molina’s daughter had always been the anchoring fact in Julie’s life, the thing that made her feel safe, and grounded and <em> special </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Until she wasn’t anymore. </p><p> </p><p>Of course she was still her mother’s daughter but it had gone from being a source of belonging to a source of pain. </p><p> </p><p>So to hear Luke label her “his girl” didn’t stir up any of the independent thoughts bristling at the phrase that she might have expected. </p><p> </p><p>It just made her feel safe, and grounded and special. </p><p> </p><p>Like even if it was just for this one, precarious moment she found herself in, she knew who she was and where she belonged. </p><p> </p><p>Julie Molina. Rose Molina’s daughter. </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s girl.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not wrong,” She blurted, quickly turning to the keyboard in order to avoid looking at him.</p><p> </p><p>She switched the power on and tugged over a chair, still studiously avoiding looking over to check his reaction, not that she needed to. She could feel the satisfaction radiating off him. </p><p> </p><p>She placed her fingers on the keys and started playing Perfect Harmony absentmindedly, allowing herself to sing along softly this time without thinking much of it. Luke on the other hand was definitely interested if the way he instantly stepped closer to her was any indication. He stayed quiet though in silent appreciation. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she finished the song and the garage had descended into stillness again, his silence felt less like a token of appreciation and more like a warning. Julie finally dared to glance up and check his facial expression only to find his nose scrunched up slightly in a way that would have been adorable had it not been such a clear sign of displeasure.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” She asked hesitantly. “Did you not like it?”</p><p> </p><p>She watched as he forced his face to relax slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s...Julie, I told you last time, it’s an amazing song. And those lyrics? You need to realize how insanely talented you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” Julie said sincerely before pausing. “So why do you look like you smelled something bad?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed and reached up to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just that...those lyrics, they’re killer, really, but I feel like we could have written them about us. Only we didn’t. So...you must have written them about someone else.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie stared up at him as she processed what exactly he was saying.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s dumb,,” He said in a rush. “Forget I said anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, it’s not like that.”</p><p> </p><p>He was still busy protesting.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, forget it. Totally makes sense you would have liked someone before. What was he like? No, no, never mind, don’t answer that. He was a total dork wasn’t he? Or maybe he was super cool. I don’t know which is worse.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but giggle at that.</p><p> </p><p>“He was definitely both,” She informed him, watching as his shoulders sagged before standing up and pulling him into a hug. “You have no reason to be jealous, trust me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”’ </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p> </p><p>He tugged her in closer and took a deep breath that she physically felt since her body was pressed up against his. </p><p> </p><p>“He was great,” She ventured softly, turning her head to rest it sideways against his chest as she spoke. “But in the end he was more of a fantasy. He wasn’t real. Not like you.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s arms tightened around her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I get that.”</p><p> </p><p>She wondered if he was thinking about Jennifer, about how it was possible to think you loved someone and later realize you didn’t even really know them. She had experienced that with Nick. She also knew Luke couldn’t possibly understand her true meaning. Flynn’s words echoed in her mind reminding ber that Luke hadn’t been real in his ghost form. She wondered what Flynn would say if she could see them now, solid and alive and embracing. </p><p> </p><p>Only she didn’t have to wonder hard. </p><p> </p><p>She was pretty sure Flynn would say that this version of Luke was a fantasy too, that Julie didn’t belong here and no amount of playing house would change that. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now it’s your turn to help them. Let them go.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie shivered as Flynn’s voice spoke words she didn’t want to hear so clearly in her mind, this sensation much less pleasant than the one Luke had caused earlier. Still, he must have felt it.</p><p> </p><p>“You ok?” He asked, his words rumbling from his body into hers.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good,” She promised. “Just thinking you’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.”</p><p> </p><p>Especially when he was unaware that he was actually jealous of himself but she wasn’t going to tell him that. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not <em> jealous </em>…” He trailed off seeming to realize he was fighting a losing battle. “Ok, maybe I was a little but I’m over it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Good,” Julie said firmly. “Because I love you. And if it was up to me I would be right next to you always, ok? I need you to remember that.” </p><p> </p><p>She cringed as the words left her mouth and she heard just how desperate they sounded. She still wasn’t used to saying “I love you” to someone other than her family and Flynn. She also wasn’t sure it was the best idea to say something that could be interpreted as the start of a goodbye. But it had just popped out anyway. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t get to find out how exactly how he had interpreted her words though because they were interrupted before he could say anything back. </p><p> </p><p>“Nope! No, no, nope, this isn't happening,” Bobby’s dramatic voice sounded from the now slightly open door. “I don't ask for much, just to not have to burn my eyes out first thing on a Saturday morning.”</p><p> </p><p>They sprang apart and turned to face their friend, Julie mortified and Luke seemingly only annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>“You could have knocked,” He snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“Does no one rrmember this is my house?” Bobby lamented.</p><p> </p><p>Julie jumped in as an attempt both to smooth over the conversation and end it as soon as humanly possible. </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter because nothing happened. It was just a hug, Bobby. No need to burn any eyes out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you always hug girls shirtless?” Bobby directed at Luke, his tone teasing. “Is that your move? Oh, I’m sorry I just forgot to put one on…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll show you my moves if you want, Bobbers,” Luke practically purred before darting across the room.</p><p> </p><p>Julie hadn’t seen it coming but Bobby had, trying to flee at the last minute. Unfortunately for him Luke was fast and before she could blink he had his friend in some kind of wrestling hold, tugging his upper body down until Bobby was bent over uncomfortably close to Luke’s exposed chest. </p><p> </p><p>Julie rolled her eyes as they dragged each other across the garage. </p><p> </p><p>Luke might occasionally get caught up in cosmic events and make beautiful, emotional speeches but he was still very much a 17 year old boy which was endearing. </p><p> </p><p>Also annoying. </p><p> </p><p>But she supposed there were worse things than a Bobby shaped reality check. </p><p> </p><p>They couldn’t spend the whole day messing around though. The boys had another meeting at the label scheduled for that afternoon. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to take a shower,” She announced, not surprised when neither boy looked up to acknowledge her statement. “Maybe when I get back you guys will have finished...this.”</p><p> </p><p>Still no reaction.</p><p> </p><p>She sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Boys.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t the last time she would have that thought that day. Several hours later she found herself in the corner of a studio at Red Rose Records thinking it again, this time with a little less amusement and a little more worry. </p><p> </p><p>Because Queenie was trying to talk them through some ideas she had for their songs and the boys were not taking it well. </p><p> </p><p>At first things had seemed to be going great. Alex’s parents had not caught him sneaking out and had let him attend the meeting so the whole group had gathered, excited that they would finally be working on the music side of things.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately with the unsurprising exception of Bobby, they had all raised numerous issues with Queenie’s ideas. Even more unsurprisingly, Luke had more issues with her plans than anyone. </p><p> </p><p>“We do <em> not </em>need backup singers,” Luke insisted after Queenie played them a demo she’d put together for one of their songs. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just to fill out the sound,” Queenie tried. “They’ll be subtle in the final recording.”</p><p> </p><p>“Adding a whole new melody isn’t subtle,” Luke argued. “We don’t need any of this stuff. Just put us in the booth and we’ll lay down exactly what made you want to sign us in the first place.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie was clearly trying to be diplomatic but Julie could see that she was losing her patience. </p><p> </p><p>“Your songs are great, amazing even. No one is denying that. But what works live doesn’t always work on the album. I know it takes a lot to trust someone with your sound but I know what I’m talking about. Music is my life too and…” </p><p> </p><p>“No offense, but I think your definition of music isn’t the same as mine,” Luke interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>The studio fell into a heavy silence and Julie cringed. It was clearly a shot at Queenie’s pop career and it was a low blow honestly. She fought against the urge to jump in and call Luke out or try to bridge the gap between the two. She knew she couldn’t though. She had promised Queenie she was here to observe only and beyond that she wouldn’t be around to clean up after Luke’s impulsive behavior forever. He needed to learn to think before he spoke on his own. </p><p> </p><p>He seemed to realize the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I’m sorry, ok? That came out wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie’s eyes flashed with something that made Julie suddenly remember that she had a reputation for being someone you didn’t want to mess with. It was easy to forget when the older girl had been kind to her for the most part but she could instantly see how that rumor may have started.</p><p> </p><p>“Did it? Thanks for the apology but we need to get something straight. You want to be treated like a professional musician? Well, you have to act like one. If you can’t do that you can stay in the garage. We can be friends and we can be colleagues but I’m not here to be your punching bag for doing my job.” </p><p> </p><p>If Julie had thought the last silence was oppressive this one was a hundred times worse. </p><p> </p><p>“That was a little terrifying,” Alex stage whispered eventually.</p><p> </p><p>“But also strangely hot,” Reggie whispered back.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Bobby snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“You got it?” Queenie directed at Luke, ignoring everything else. </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s expression was a clear sign that he didn’t like Queenie calling him out even if Julie could tell he had taken in at least some of her fair points. </p><p> </p><p>“Got it,” He muttered. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s take a break,” Bobby suggested, shooting Luke an annoyed look. “We need to have a band meeting.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke grumbled but followed Bobby’s lead, standing up and heading towards the door. Alex and Reggie trailed behind.</p><p> </p><p>“You coming, Julie?” Luke asked over his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, I think I’ll just hang out here,” She said, doing her best not to react to his frown. “I’ll see you guys in a minute.” </p><p> </p><p>He looked like he was about to argue but Alex gripped his shoulder and steered him out of the room. When they were alone, Queenie sank back in her chair and flipped her hair over her shoulder in clear irritation. </p><p> </p><p>“If you stayed behind to plead your boyfriend’s case, I really don’t want to hear it,” She said bluntly.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly, I’m on your side here. Yeah, I get he has to speak up for his music but he doesn’t have to do it like <em> that </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie shot her an examining look.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s refreshing. I was a little worried that you were totally boring now that you’re obviously together. First you decided not to pursue your music and now you’re following him around.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not like that. He’s not the reason I didn’t want to join the band officially.”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie raised an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“No? I figured maybe you were worried that for all his enthusiasm he wouldn’t like it when you guys made it big and you stole the spotlight.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not it,” Julie said again firmly. “But speaking of stealing the spotlight...can I ask you something that’s been bothering me for a long time?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie waved a hand in a gesture clearly indicating Julie could proceed. </p><p> </p><p>“What happened with you and Rose?” Julie blurted. “Did you really bail on her before a big performance to sign with your dad’s label?”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the question escaped, Julie half regretted it. It was an awkward thing to ask and Luke had already primed Queenie to be in a bad mood. But she wasn’t lying when she said it had been bothering her for a long time. Queenie could be blunt and harsh and intimidating but Julie still had a hard time reconciling her experience with the pop star and her mother’s story of betrayal. </p><p> </p><p>She expected Queenie to stomp out of the room or launch into a speech about minding her own business but instead she only smirked. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, Julie. I didn’t think you had it in you. How long have you been holding that in?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie cringed.</p><p> </p><p>“Um...since I met you?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie chuckled before her face grew serious.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I’m going to give it to you straight, ok? Rose’s version? It’s true. We were hours away from a performance we gave our blood, sweat and tears to book when I quit the band and signed with Red Rose. But more than one thing can be true at the same time, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Queenie straightened in her chair, pushing her shoulders back in a show of strength before she continued. </p><p> </p><p>“My dad came to me with an ultimatum. Sign with him and leave Rose a solo act or he would blacklist us both so nobody in the industry would touch us with a ten foot pole.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s mind reeled as she tried to take in this new information.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would he do that?” She asked, running through scenarios in her mind and not finding any that explained all of this. </p><p> </p><p>“To keep me under his control,” Queenie shrugged, though the look in her eyes was anything but unaffected. “Love isn’t always some beautiful fairy tale, Julie. Sometimes it’s ugly. Even between a father and a daughter. He thinks I’m a disappointment but still wants to try molding me into his perfect successor and I think he’s an asshole but I still want to make him proud. It’s twisted but it is what it is. Being music royalty isn’t the dream people think.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned. She could hardly imagine the pain of what Queenie was describing. She had a lot of problems in her life but none of them were feeling unloved and used. Her heart clenched as she thought of her dad and his gentle support.</p><p> </p><p>“But why didn’t you just tell Rose all this?” She asked eventually, the pieces still not fully coming together.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie laughed and shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you met Rose? She would have wanted to fight it out together, said we would find a way and still make it big even with my dad’s interference. And I would have wanted to believe it even if I knew deep down that’s not how things would go. We would have ended up broke and forgotten. So I made the tough choice for both of us. Signed with my dad and he agreed to leave Rose alone. She still might not make it but at least now she has a shot.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie just couldn’t leave it there, leaning forward to meet Queenie’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“But shouldn’t you have let her choose for herself?” She demanded. “She would have wanted that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes protecting people you love means doing something they wouldn’t want you to,” Queenie said simply.</p><p> </p><p>Julie hated that she could draw a direct parallel between what Queenie was saying and the choice she had made to keep Luke in the dark about everything. </p><p> </p><p>“Besides,” Queenie continued. “I’m not a total martyr. There were selfish reasons too. Maybe Rose can be happy knowing she gave it her best try but I’m not like that. I like being rich. I like being famous. I wasn’t made to struggle towards some lofty goal if there’s no chance of success.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned. Just when she thought she had a grip on who Queenie was she said something else that totally threw that image off.</p><p> </p><p>“You are a very confusing person,” Julie said finally.</p><p> </p><p>A pop star who quoted literature. A daughter who seemed to hate her father and need his approval equally. A good friend who could still be unapologetically self-serving. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie laughed at that. </p><p> </p><p>“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie raised an eyebrow at Queenie’s lofty speech. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Walt Whitman? What are they teaching you kids in school these days?”</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you only three years older than me?” Julie teased back.</p><p> </p><p>Queenie waved a hand dismissively.</p><p> </p><p>“The point is I could have sat around complaining about the cards I was dealt but I didn’t. I created my own world, one where I could perform and produce and make an impact the only way I know how. It’s not perfect but it’s damn near close. So excuse me if I fight for it, even against annoying, teenage music geniuses.”</p><p> </p><p>That drew a genuine smile from Julie.</p><p> </p><p>“Decide what you want, Julie. Picture the world you want to live in and make it real through sheer force of will. Nobody gets to tell you that you can’t do that.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie wished that was true.</p><p> </p><p>The world she wanted to live in…</p><p> </p><p>The problem was it was a combination of two worlds. Two years. Two sets of family. Two opportunities to follow her dreams.</p><p> </p><p>One garage. </p><p> </p><p>One boy. </p><p> </p><p>One girl.</p><p> </p><p>Make it real? </p><p> </p><p>If only it was that easy. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know I invented her but I love Queenie. 👑</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Handfuls of sand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's a 1am update just like old times! So fun lol. </p><p>I don't have too much to say ahead of this one. Things are drifting towards the ending now and it's making me emotional (also a little nervous that the ending won't live up to the hype but let's ignore that). </p><p>Also, on an unrelated note, I need you guys to tell me your favorite lyrics from the JATP soundtrack. For science lol. This has nothing to do with the story at all but I assume this is a crowd that would be willing to engage in this discussion with me. What are your favorite lines? Looking for good ones to use in a project and I can't pick lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie was running out of time.</p><p> </p><p>At least that’s what it suddenly felt like. </p><p> </p><p>It had been almost a month and a half since she tumbled through time and landed at the feet of the family she hadn’t had the strength to lose. It had only been 2 months before then that she met them as ghosts. It was strange to realize she had known them as living, breathing humans almost as long as she had ever known them as ghosts. </p><p> </p><p>It felt like so much longer, like time had been crawling ever since the boys poofed into her garage somehow allowing her life with them in it to feel like it was on equal footing as the one without them. But now it felt as though time was sprinting, barreling towards whatever the conclusion of all of this looked like. </p><p> </p><p>Best case scenario would be her making it home through the portal in Caleb’s club and causing minimal trauma for those she left behind. </p><p> </p><p>She was fully aware that best case scenarios had been few and far between in that hard to pin down time she had known the boys.</p><p> </p><p>But there was no denying that she was on the brink of <em> something </em>.</p><p> </p><p>She felt it in the urgency humming through her veins when she looked at Luke and the other boys, the urge to cling on to each of them at every opportunity. Her hands itched with emptiness every moment that she wasn’t touching one of them. Every dumb joke that made her laugh, every song they fiddled around with to pass the time, every unexpected moment of unthinking kindness felt like it could be the last. She dug out Rose’s polaroid camera and realized that there were only four photos left. She had Luke take a picture of her with each of his bandmates, Reggie hoisted her onto his back, Alex leaned down to rest his folded arms on top of her head comically and Bobby stood awkwardly just a little too far away until she looped her arms around his waist and tugged him into her side. Once he was there he practically melted into the contact, returning her side hug as Luke snapped the photo. The fact that he made himself scarce before the photo had even managed to fully leave the camera had her exchanging an amused look with the others. </p><p> </p><p>“One left,” Luke observed as he handed the camera back to her along with the stack of pictures. “We can get some more film soon.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded although she knew that they would likely not get to that before she went home. She wondered if they would bother once she was gone or if the camera would languish in some corner, the device to capture memories becoming a forgotten memory itself. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you want for the last one?” Luke interrupted her morose thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out to take the camera back, running her fingers over the smooth plastic. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m saving it,” She told him, unsure herself exactly what she was saving it for. She just hoped that she would know the perfect moment when she saw it. </p><p> </p><p>She just hoped that she would have time to find it before the ticking clock she could practically  hear in her mind sped up to the point she could no longer keep up. </p><p> </p><p>She spent the week soaking up moments with her friends and trying not to appear as anxious as she was. It didn’t help matters that Luke spent the week on edge as well. Maybe he was picking up on her energy subconsciously but she knew most of it was down to his increasing displeasure with the meetings they were having with the label. Even Queenie’s efforts to bring him into the discussions were falling flat. He hated the idea of anything about their sound or look changing at all, even when others were open to it. Queenie tended to feel disrespected as soon as Luke walked in the room and didn’t feel the need to ease into any potential changes. The combination of those two personalities in a room was a recipe for fireworks and despite Bobby’s best efforts she felt like someone was standing by with a match just waiting to set them off. </p><p> </p><p>She had tried to talk Luke down after the second meeting of the week, tried to convince him that he could stand up for his opinions without turning it into a war. He seemed to understand her point and promised her that he would try. Yet by the third meeting of the week he and Queenie were right back at each other’s throats. It was wearing on all of them, Bobby especially. She knew he hated to see his best friend and his girlfriend on opposite sides of a seemingly uncrossable divide even if in typical Bobby style he wasn’t coming out and saying it. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie weren’t exactly all sunshine and rainbows either. She was fully aware how worried they were about her and her pending deal with Caleb on top of the increasing tension revolving around the band. </p><p> </p><p>So the atmosphere around Wonderland was not exactly wonderful. And yes, she hated herself for that pun. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Bobby had been taking turns distracting Luke by inviting him on walks. From what she could tell Bobby’s mostly consisted of him and Luke devolving into a squabble over his behavior while Alex’s were mostly the drummer listening in exasperation while Luke ranted. Julie walked with Luke sometimes too and she did her part to improve his mood by slipping her hand into his and sometimes when they passed a particularly promising tree pushing him up against it to kiss him until his tension drained away and he was smiling against her lips. </p><p> </p><p>She was pretty sure she was the most successful member of the Luke distraction squad if she did say so herself. </p><p> </p><p>She took advantage of the times when someone else was on that duty though. </p><p> </p><p>She went for ice cream with Reggie and let him pepper her with questions about Star Wars. </p><p> </p><p>“There are <em> eight </em> more Star Wars movies after Return of the Jedi?” He asked, his ice cream dripping forgotten down his hand as he gaped at her. </p><p> </p><p>“I think so?” Julie phrased it like a question and held up a hand in self defense when Reggie sputtered at her less than confident answer. “There might be some other stuff too, like a cartoon? Carlos is really into them but I’ve only seen a couple honestly and I don’t remember much.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie leaned forward, finally noticing his quickly melting ice cream and taking a quick lick before fixing her with an intense look. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me everything you do remember.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ok…” Julie thought for a moment before continuing. “Um, well one of the old guys from the original movies has a kid and that kid murders him.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s eyes instantly grew to at least three times their size and he nearly dropped his ice cream cone. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait...what? Which old guy, Julie? Which old guy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um...the one with the laser sword? No, wait...maybe it was the other one. I’m sorry I don’t remember, Reg.” </p><p> </p><p>He sagged back into his seat defeatedly, licking absentmindedly at his ice cream. </p><p> </p><p>“This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” He said glumly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie let him grieve the unknown character for a few minutes while she finished her own ice cream. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, by the way,” Reggie said eventually, his tone slightly brighter. “I wanted to tell you. My parents are splitting up.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie sat up straighter fixing him with a concerned look. </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie...why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged, offering her one of those sweet, Reggie smiles. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m telling you now. Are you ok, Julie? You’re looking at me like I’m not all there.”</p><p> </p><p>She forced her face into a more neutral expression. </p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s just...you had ten times more emotion when we were talking about Star Wars. I just want to make sure you’re ok.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie smiled again before shrugging. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, but I think this could actually be pretty great for us, my mom and I. My dad’s moving out and she says she wants things to change, really change. It’s the only change I’m excited about.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t ask him to elaborate. She didn’t need to. </p><p> </p><p>Alex wasn’t the only one who could struggle with change. And with the band turmoil and her impending departure...there was plenty of change to go around. She reached out to place her hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze when he instantly flipped his hand over to wrap around hers. </p><p> </p><p>“Now can we get back to Star Wars?” He said abruptly causing her to roll her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything else?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie and Luke weren’t the only ones she spent time alone with that week. </p><p> </p><p>She and Bobby had commiserated over the way Luke and Queenie were at each other’s throats over some of his hidden snacks after she joined his family for dinner one night. He had shown her his room which was surprisingly sparse, only a packed bookcase and one Green Day poster adding any personality to the space. It really drove home the fact that this might be where he slept but Wonderland was where he <em> lived </em>. That realization filled her with a wave of sadness for the boy she knew and the adult he had become, how lonely he must have been living a life disconnected from everything that once made him happy. </p><p> </p><p>“I know he loves our music, and so do I,” Bobby ranted from the spinny chair at his desk. “But Queenie has some good ideas if he’d even <em> try </em> to listen. But he never even listened to <em> my </em> ideas so I don’t know why I thought he would start now.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded awkwardly from her spot on the edge of Bobby’s bed. She didn’t feel right talking about Luke behind his back but at the same time it wasn’t anything they hadn’t said multiple times to his face. They loved his passion but his inability to even consider that Queenie had anything to offer wasn’t exactly a positive trait. </p><p> </p><p>“I know you’ve known him a lot longer than me but just promise you’ll keep trying to get through to him,” She said eventually, trying to walk the line between getting across her request without giving away why she was making it. “You guys are meant for greatness, I know it, but the only way to get there is all of you together. He needs someone to remind him of that.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby shot her an examining look that left her squirming under his assessing gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“Is there a reason you don’t want the job?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not planning on leaving us are you, Molina?” </p><p> </p><p>She swallowed harshly hoping that her panicked pause wasn’t obvious. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” She said, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. “Well, I mean I have to go back to my family eventually. But I’m not planning to run off or anything. Um, things happen sometimes but...no.” </p><p> </p><p>His eyebrow somehow managed to shoot even higher up his forehead at her rambling response. </p><p> </p><p>“Look, Julie, I’ve told you before that you can trust us with whatever’s going on with you. You did get that metaphor right?”<br/><br/></p><p>Julie smiled a little at that. Leave it to Bobby to wonder weeks later if he had somehow gone over her head with his greek mythology speech. </p><p> </p><p>“I got it,” She assured him. “I have talked about it a little actually.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s good. Unlike Luke I don’t need it to be me as long as you’ve gotten it off your chest,” He joked. “But really my point is that it may have felt like you came out of nowhere at first but now it feels like you’ve always been here. We wouldn’t have made it through these last couple of months without you. So...in case you do take off dramatically in the middle of the night...I just want to say thanks, I guess.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie stared at him in shocked silence for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby, that’s downright mushy of you,” She observed eventually, a grin tugging at her lips despite the implication that he realized she would be leaving soon. “I want to say thank you too. For taking me in and always being there for Luke even when you want to murder him.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby met her eyes for a long moment as a smile crept onto his face before he cleared his throat and looked away. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, that’s enough of that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” She teased in a sing-songy tone. “Are you sure you don’t want a hug? It feels like we should hug.” </p><p> </p><p>“I very much do not want that,” He protested, even as he struggled to hide his smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m coming in,” She said, standing and approaching him with her arms outstretched. “Tell me now if you really don’t want me to touch you.” </p><p> </p><p>He rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess I will accept a brief show of affection if you must.” </p><p> </p><p>She laughed and pulled him into a quick hug, making sure to give him a solid squeeze before pulling back. </p><p> </p><p>“You are not what I thought you would be,” She blurted out before realizing what a massive slip up she had just made. </p><p> </p><p>She froze but he only chuckled and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not what I thought you would be either,” He replied, earning him a confused look from her despite her own previous nonsensical statement.</p><p> </p><p>He tilted his head with a grin as though his meaning should be obvious. </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie’s cousin?”</p><p> </p><p>She reached up with both hands to cover her face, partially out of relief at not being caught out on anything bigger and partially out of amusement at having been reminded of her first conversation with him in 1995. When she eventually dropped her hands he was watching her with an affectionate look that threatened to bring tears to her eyes. Luckily he gave her an out. </p><p> </p><p>“Can we go back out to Wonderland now?” He asked. “I’ve had as much open human kindness as I can take.” </p><p> </p><p>She smiled and shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, let’s go home.” </p><p> </p><p>Her time alone with Alex came about when they volunteered to go pick up pizza the band had ordered. At first Luke had protested that Julie didn’t need to go and if she insisted he was definitely going too. A combination of merciless teasing from Bobby and Reggie and a pointed look from Julie had eventually convinced him that she would be fine and didn’t need to be attached to him at the hip at all times. </p><p> </p><p>They took their time walking back, the smell of pizza and the sounds of distant traffic keeping them company as they made their way from the glow of one streetlight to the next. </p><p> </p><p>Alex was quiet at first, and Julie wasn’t sure if she should leave him to his thoughts or try to pull him out of his own head. She wasn’t sure if she had the right to do that when she was pretty sure she was one of the major reasons he was currently plagued with racing thoughts in the first place. Still, she hated to see him like this and not even try to offer him a lifeline if he needed one. She was just about to speak up and ask if he was ok when he beat her to it. </p><p> </p><p>“Is it just me or does it feel like everything is on the brink of falling apart?” He asked, his voice deceptively calm. “I feel like I should be freaking out about it but I’m not. Strangely it’s the lack of freaking out that’s starting to freak me out.” </p><p> </p><p>She understood that. Back when she was going to therapy three times a week after her mom died, she had learned that sometimes anxiety manifested through panic attacks but sometimes it manifested through being strangely good in a crisis. If your brain was full of excess worry preparing for a problem that never came, being presented with an actual issue could feel strangely life a relief, something to pour all of that mental energy into. For her it had been the way she had been able to step up and look after Carlos and her dad even as internally she crumpled in her own grief. With the exception of the music program she had kept all of her grades up while packing Carlos’ lunches and keeping track of her dad’s keys and phone and general sanity. The panic attacks had come later once her family no longer needed her hovering over their every move, once her dad had insisted that she deal with her own emotions. She had pushed through that time with the help of her dad, and Flynn, and yes even her therapist. But she hadn’t truly felt like herself again until the boys showed up. </p><p> </p><p>“I get it,” She said simply, not wanting to push her own story onto him. “But everything’s going to be ok.” </p><p> </p><p>He turned to fix her with a skeptical look that was just so <em> Alex </em> she found herself getting unceremoniously choked up in the presence of her friends for the second time that week. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think that everything is going to be ok or are you just trying to comfort us both with an optimistic tone that is frankly unearned?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a giggle at his question which was mostly born of genuine amusement and only a little out of a hysterical loss of control. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, both?” She answered honestly. </p><p> </p><p>He nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate your honesty.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, my plan to get home is still on track,” She told him, ignoring the way his eyes dropped to her currently blank wrist at her statement. “And yeah, things with the band aren’t going <em> great </em> but hey it’s only been a few weeks. You guys have all the time in the world to figure out what direction you want to take it.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex leaned over to bump his shoulder with hers. </p><p> </p><p>“We have all the time in the world thanks to you,” He said firmly. “Thank you, Julie. You haven’t heard that enough.” </p><p> </p><p>Well, now the tears were really burning at her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes I forget why I came here,” She admitted, reaching up to wipe at her eyes quickly while she balanced the pizza box she held in one hand. “I mean, not really...I think about losing you guys all the time. But sometimes I get so wrapped up in trying to get home and what that will do to Luke and balancing all the things it takes just to <em> exist </em>here everyday…” </p><p> </p><p>She cleared her throat and looked up at the boy next to her, his eyes already waiting to meet hers with a soft gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just good to remind myself that no matter what it was worth it,” She said finally, blinking away the last remnants of any tears. “No matter what happens, I don’t regret saving you guys.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex must have been affected by the emotion of her statement too because he coughed awkwardly before speaking again.<br/><br/>“You’re right. Everything is going to be ok. We’re going to get you home and you’re going to look Sunset Curve up on your little pocket phone and you’ll know we became legends.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie let a smile grow on her face as he turned her forced optimism back on her. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think that’s how things will go or are you saying it with false confidence as some sort of pep talk?” She teased. </p><p> </p><p>He smirked and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, both?”</p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate your honesty,” She giggled, this time even less panic to blame. “Now let’s get back before Luke sends out a search party for either me or the pizza.” </p><p> </p><p> Of course she had also spent time alone with Luke that week, and only some of it was spent finding new spots to makeout during their walks. They had also taken advantage of the hours the other boys spent at school to work on songs and cuddle on the couch, sometimes both at once. They were in the middle of one such session on Thursday afternoon when Julie started to absentmindedly trace the drawings on Luke’s cast, running her fingertip over each of the memories she had imprinted there. </p><p> </p><p>Some of the more recent ones included a bucket of popcorn from their date and a smattering of music notes that she refused to admit to him were there to represent the morning she had played Perfect Harmony for him before being folded into his arms. They definitely were though.</p><p> </p><p>He chose that moment to interrupt her silent trip through all of the memories they had shared, startling her enough to make her jump a little. If he noticed he thankfully chose not to comment. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m supposed to get this thing off in two weeks,” He reminded her. “I never thought I’d say this but I think I’ll kind of miss it even if showers are super annoying.” </p><p> </p><p>She tried to keep her face neutral and not reveal just how much the impending removal of his cast felt like more than an indication of his physical healing. </p><p> </p><p>It felt like an incredibly on the nose metaphor for the way their time together was coming to an end to have the evidence of that time sawed off of him by force. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, don’t worry,” He told her, using his good arm to tug her more snugly against his side. “I’ll let you draw on something else of mine, take your pick. It could be kind of fun to start over, right?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She managed to echo. “Definitely.” </p><p> </p><p>She must not have sounded very convincing because he reached up to gently turn her face towards him. His smirk was way too close to her face for her to focus on much of anything else, even her nagging sense of impending doom. </p><p> </p><p>“Besides there will definitely be upsides to me having two arms again.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh huh,” She rolled her eyes though he didn’t seem deterred by her reaction. </p><p> </p><p>“I could do this…” </p><p> </p><p>He ran his thumb over her cheek sending a shiver racing down her spine. </p><p> </p><p>“And this…” He trailed his hand down to her neck and tugged her head gently towards him until their lips were almost touching. She could feel his breath mingling with hers when he spoke again. “At the same time. Wouldn’t that be nice?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” She murmured, going for a teasing tone but only managing to sound as breathless and distracted as she actually was. “It’s hard to say until we try it.” </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t see his grin from this close but somehow she could <em> feel </em> it. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re right, we’ll have to do some tests,” He said softly. “But in the meantime…” </p><p> </p><p>He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers, a sweeter, more innocent kiss than the ones they had been sharing on their walks. It made her heart ache. </p><p> </p><p>It made her want to get lost in the moment. </p><p> </p><p>It made her want to ignore the <em> tick tick tick </em>of the clock in the back of her mind. </p><p> </p><p>It definitely felt like time was speeding up and maybe that was some kind of time travel magic or maybe that was just life. </p><p> </p><p>She thought of those last few months with her mom and the last few seconds on stage with her ghost band at the Orpheum, back when watching them cross over still felt like an option she could live with. </p><p> </p><p>She thought of days at the beach as a little girl, grabbing sand in her clenched fists to add to her castle only to look down and find herself empty handed. She thought of her mother, soothing her tears and showing her how to scoop the sand with cupped hands and a light touch. </p><p> </p><p>She thought of how the harder you try to hold onto something the faster it will slip through your fingers.  </p><p> </p><p>Then she buried her face in the soft spot between Luke’s neck and shoulder and tried not to think of anything at all.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, the angst is picking up now which was always going to be a thing. But she got a little time with all of her boys so hopefully you guys enjoyed it anyway. 💜</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. This is real</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had a bit of a breakdown towards the end of writing this chapter so if the writing falls off you know why. I have a note on my phone where I keep all of my writing ideas including all the songs I write to include in my stories and it disappeared somehow. Not in recently deleted, not in the cloud. Just lost in that dark room the guys spent 25 years in apparently. It took with it the song I had written for this chapter among other things, thus the breakdown. I tried to reconstruct it but just know it was better before. Still, thinking positively I don't hate what I ended up with. I just hate that all my little ideas are now apparently lost. Uggggh. </p><p>Anyway! </p><p>Juke cuteness, a little performance and some worrying plot development. All the things you've come to expect lol. </p><p>Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie woke up early on the morning of her second performance at Caleb’s club. A quick glance at the borrowed watch from Bobby let her know that it was barely 7am and Luke’s even breathing reminded her that left to his own devices he wouldn’t be up for at least another hour. She on the other hand felt miles away from sleep already, her mind seeming to go from dreaming to full wakefulness almost instantly. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t have to search for a reason for her inability to continue sleeping. The challenge was narrowing down the list of potential reasons. </p><p> </p><p>There was the dream that had been tormenting her where she and Luke were both in the garage yet somehow couldn’t find each other. Some of the dream was thankfully slipping away as consciousness took hold of her more firmly, but she remembered hearing him calling for but being unable to hear her response. Her dream self had screamed her throat raw only to listen as his shouts faded away to nothing.</p><p> </p><p>There was also the slight chill in the air, an uncharacteristically cold LA morning leaving her shivering. Apparently she had kicked off her blanket during her dreaming and the result was waking up curled into an uncomfortable ball, her arms tucked around her knees in an effort to retain some warmth.</p><p> </p><p>And perhaps most likely to be the culprit of all was the uncomfortable tingling on her wrist, the dull, purple stamp making itself known as soon as she opened her eyes. It didn’t hurt, at least not yet, but it definitely wasn’t pleasant. It also didn’t escape her notice that the stamp’s magical reminder had been triggered much earlier in the day this time. She tried not to read too much into that development but it was hard.</p><p> </p><p>If she was honest the pit of dread in her stomach was starting to feel less like a state she could try to avoid and more like a constant companion. </p><p> </p><p>Julie wrapped her other hand around the wrist in question, hoping that if she hid the stamp from her sight she might be able to forget it existed for a while . Unfortunately the almost burn radiating around the spot had other ideas.</p><p> </p><p>Still.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t stay this anxious all day. She would never make it on stage at the club if she was and she had to make it on that stage. She had to.</p><p> </p><p>What she needed was a distraction. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily, there was a distraction with an incredibly solid track record right below her. The fact that he also was often so warm he could act as her personal furnace was just a bonus. </p><p> </p><p>Julie eased herself off of her mattress gingerly, stopping long enough to grab her blanket and wrap it around her shoulders before she climbed down from the loft. Luke hardly ever used a blanket, because as previously established he was basically a furnace, so she figured she had better bring her own. </p><p> </p><p>Once she made it to the ground level, Julie padded softly across the cold floor until she could slip onto the pullout. As she suspected, Luke was without a blanket though he had thankfully decided not to sleep shirtless the night before. She briefly wondered if his insistence that he had only gone without due to overheating the other night was true or if he had been hoping to fluster her, but decided it was best not to dwell on that possibility. </p><p> </p><p>Julie slid closer to where he slept on his side facing her, wincing slightly as a squeaking sound pierced the silence when she moved over one of the hinges that connected the bed to the couch. Luke didn’t stir, just wrinkled his nose briefly before his face relaxed again. She continued her journey towards the source of warmth that was tantalizingly close, easing herself across the surface of the bed until she was only a few inches away from him. She untangled the blanket from around herself carefully, stretching the edge until she was able to drape it gently over Luke’s shoulders. Satisfied with the heated tent she had created for herself now that the blanket stretched over both of them, she slid down slightly until her entire body was under the blanket. </p><p> </p><p>She instantly felt warmer, her toes wiggling happily as she let his heat fill up the space between them. It really was amazing. They weren’t even touching and already she felt as though her body temperature had risen several degrees. As far as distractions go though...it wouldn’t hurt if they were touching a <em> little </em>bit.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shifted a fraction of an inch closer, not even really moving just sort of <em> leaning </em>in his direction until some of her unruly curls brushed against his chest. She reached out to rest one hand there as well, keeping her touch incredibly light even as she sought out the comforting thump of his heartbeat. She let her eyes drift shut and counted the beats underneath her fingertips. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Thump thump thump  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The warmth and the reminder that he was alive and well and right beside her for the time being was almost enough to pull her back into the sleep she had been unable to hold onto earlier. She was just starting to drift off when she felt him shift underneath her hand. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes fluttered open just as his sleep thick voice rumbled out from somewhere above her. </p><p> </p><p>“Jules?”</p><p> </p><p>Her heart clenched at the nickname and she was hit with a sudden rush of emotion. She didn’t trust her voice to not to shake so she chose not to answer merely curling her body into a tighter curve and squeezing his shirt between her fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“If it isn’t you this is going to be really freaky,” He joked sleepily as he wiggled down until he could slip his head under the blanket too, his face more or less level with hers. </p><p> </p><p>His lips stretched into a lazy smile.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a relief. I didn’t have a plan if you were a really overly friendly burglar.” </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help but return his smile, her fingers opening and then clenching around the fabric of his shirt reflexively. </p><p> </p><p>“I was cold,” She shrugged, deciding that was the only safe reason for her presence to share. </p><p> </p><p>Luke hummed and eased his good arm out from under his body so he could wrap it around her back and tug her closer. </p><p> </p><p>By this point Julie’s nose was pressed up against his neck and he shivered slightly either from the cold or the way her breath tickled his skin. She took a deep breath and just enjoyed the closeness for a moment, his heartbeat even more apparent with her face resting against his pulse point. </p><p> </p><p>“Is that why you’re hiding under here?” He asked, amusement clear in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Mostly,” She admitted, sliding her head down ever so slightly until her forehead rested against him, allowing her mouth the space to speak more clearly. “It’s also just nice in here.” </p><p> </p><p>He sighed against the crown of her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” He agreed. “It is.”</p><p> </p><p>She let out a muffled little laugh at how content he sounded.</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you burning up?” She asked teasingly. “You always run so hot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah,” He said before quickly continuing. “Ok, maybe a little but who cares.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will if you start sweating on me,” She protested, but there was no real annoyance behind her complaint.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>She swore she could <em> hear </em>him rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Julie grinned before inhaling deeply.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you have Reggie do your laundry again?” She asked. “You smell...good.”</p><p> </p><p>She could tell he was trying to decide whether to be offended or pleased by her comment.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” He said. “How good do I smell?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie pulled away from him enough to meet his eyes as she shook her head. She slapped at his chest gently before returning her grip to his shirt. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t push it,” She insisted even though she knew he could see her smile.</p><p> </p><p>Neither of them said anything for a few long seconds </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just stay in here forever,” He said finally, running his hand up and down her back in a way that definitely met her distraction criteria. “Just you and me.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be hard to live out your rockstar dreams under this blanket,” Julie reminded him. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, that’s not going so hot anyway,” He grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated for a moment before answering. </p><p> </p><p>“I wish you would give things with Queenie a chance. I know she’s a lot but not all of her ideas are bad. You two could create something so amazing if both of you could just get out of your own way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Harsh,”  He muttered. “But you’re probably right. It’s just...none of this is going the way I thought it would. The way I wanted it to go. Why can’t things just be easy?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie lowered her head to hide her expression and sighed against his skin, doing her best to ignore her racing thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>“Reality is hardly ever like that, Luke,” She told him, doing her best to keep her voice steady. “Most of the time we have to let go of the dreams we can’t have and learn to be happy with what we’ve been given. If we can’t do that then what’s the point?”</p><p> </p><p>He must have caught the way her voice wavered slightly in the end because his fingers rubbed comforting circles on her back.</p><p> </p><p>“Your mom?” He guessed. </p><p> </p><p>Somehow she hadn’t been expecting him to say that. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, the scenario she had mentioned fit her feelings about her mom even if she hadn’t intended them to. </p><p> </p><p>She had dreamed so many times that some miracle would happen and her mom would get better but in the end it hadn’t come. She had to learn how to live with that bitter disappointment and how unfair the universe had suddenly seemed. The guys had helped her do that. </p><p> </p><p>But since she had been in the past she was ashamed to say she had very rarely thought of losing her mom at all. It wasn’t that it didn’t still hurt every moment because it did. But it was hard to mourn her mom when she felt so nearby. Rose didn’t know who Julie really was but she was real, and solid and young and healthy. </p><p> </p><p>And Julie hadn’t let herself spend much time thinking of a future when she wouldn’t be.</p><p> </p><p>When she would be out of Julie’s reach forever. Again. </p><p> </p><p>No, she had been thinking of the dream of Julie and the Phantoms, hit records and tours and the rock and roll hall of fame and never, ever any blow outs because she loved them too much. </p><p> </p><p>“Jules?” Luke interrupted her thoughts gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” She assured him, brushing past the mention of her mother. “I’m just saying perfect may not be an option but that doesn’t mean things aren’t worth fighting for anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke made a small, pouty noise that had her smiling despite the somewhat heavy conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“I like perfect better,” He mumbled. “This is perfect. Right here with you. Who says we can’t have it? Let’s create our own world. Screw everyone else.” </p><p> </p><p>“It wouldn’t be real,” She argued softly. “That’s not how it works.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who gets to decide that?” Luke joked. “I’m pretty sure you’re in charge of the universe at this point, so just go ahead and approve it for us, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but chuckle despite her knowledge that she was very much <em> not </em>in charge of the universe. She wished she was. She wished she could create that world for them where they got to be together and happy and did she mention together?</p><p> </p><p>If she had that power she would use it but unfortunately she was just a girl. A girl who had stumbled into a world with ghosts and magical holes in the ground and time travel. </p><p> </p><p>But still just a girl.</p><p> </p><p>Just a girl who wanted to focus on the guy beneath her fingers and nothing else for a while. </p><p> </p><p>Julie pushed off of his chest slightly and ignored his confused expression, lifting her head up until she could place her hand to his cheek and her lips to his. Luke made a small surprised noise that was swallowed up as she pressed in closer but he recovered quickly, shifting his body to hover slightly over hers as his hand found purchase in her hair. </p><p> </p><p>Had she had the ability to think about anything other than how absurdly <em> good </em>this felt, she would have marveled at how far they would come. All of their awkward interactions and loaded eye contact in their first life together. All of the misunderstandings and impossible pull towards each other despite the way she’d stumbled into his life here. The way she had literally stumbled trying to save him and broken his arm. Even with possible cosmic connections and “you’re more to me, you’re everything” and living together for weeks it was still hard for her to wrap her mind around how comfortable she was here. </p><p> </p><p>With him.</p><p> </p><p>Like this.</p><p> </p><p>Even knowing it couldn’t last.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily, she <em> didn’t </em>have the ability to think about anything other than how absurdly good this felt. </p><p> </p><p>At least until he tugged her towards him a little too enthusiastically ending up tangled in the blanket. His attempts to free himself ended with him losing his balance, tumbling to the ground and very nearly taking her with him. He landed hard on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>Julie stared down at him in shock for a moment as she tried to catch her breath and process what had just happened. He didn’t seem to be handling the change in his circumstances any better than she was. He stared back at her with wide eyes as he gripped his cast with his good hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?” She asked. </p><p> </p><p>“You dropped me,” He accused, earning him an incredulous look.</p><p> </p><p>“You dropped yourself,” She pointed out with a shake of her head. </p><p> </p><p>His face shifted into a grimace as he pulled his bad arm closer against his chest. Julie felt a surge of worry and scrambled down to the floor next to him, pulling his arm towards her gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Does it hurt a lot? Do you think you broke it again? Should I call someone?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke instantly shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’ll be ok. But it does hurt. A lot.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want me to call your Mom?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s face transitioned from a grimace to a pout and suddenly Julie realized what his game was.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine. It’s just a little pain. I can take it.”</p><p> </p><p>She rolled her eyes but raised his arm up so she could press a barely there kiss to the fingertips that poked out of the end of his cast. </p><p> </p><p>“Does that help?” She asked, one eyebrow raised in amusement. </p><p> </p><p>He bit his lip and ducked his head sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe hit me with one more?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a huff of air and shook her head again but she acquiesced to his request pressing another soft kiss to the tips of his fingers before leaning forward to do the same to his forehead. </p><p> </p><p>He looked a little stunned, a dopey smile adorning his face when she pulled back.</p><p> </p><p>“Now get up,” She ordered, giving him a teasing shove. “Go take a shower.”</p><p> </p><p>That seemed to bring him back to reality, his usual grin appearing as he responded. </p><p> </p><p>“But I thought I smelled good?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave him a slightly harder shove.</p><p> </p><p>“You are so…”</p><p> </p><p>“Impossible, I know, I know,” He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss directly on her mouth before hauling himself to his feet. “But that’s why you love me.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t wait for an answer as he retreated to the bathroom leaving Julie sitting on the floor slowly coming back to reality after that nice little vacation. </p><p> </p><p>Their own little world. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Luke was on to something. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately the real world made itself known soon enough. </p><p> </p><p>Luke knew she had another one of her mysterious appointments that night and she knew it bothered him. She could see it in the way his nervous energy increased as the day went on, the way he tried to hide it with quick smiles and bad jokes. He was failing miserably but she appreciated the effort. She wondered if she was doing a better job hiding her own nerves. She suspected not. They both kept up the illusion as best they could though. Ignoring reality was becoming their specialty. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie showed up after school and did their best not to acknowledge the loaded atmosphere. </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Bobby?” Reggie asked eventually. </p><p> </p><p>“He said something about going to a movie and dinner with his parents. One of their bonding exercises,” Alex answered around a mouthful of chips he’d found somewhere. </p><p> </p><p>“I bet he’s absolutely loving that,” Luke scoffed. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully and bled into the early evening until Julie finally stood to announce she needed to get going. Luke sprang to his feet before dropping back to his seat before finally standing again.</p><p> </p><p>“Is he ok?” Alex asked, his signature lovingly judgemental expression flickering onto his face as he exchanged a look with Reggie.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shot him a dirty look before crossing the room to pull Luke into a quick hug. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back later, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded, rubbing at the back of his neck and bouncing a little on his heels.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, yeah, of course. I’ll see you later.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, we’ve actually got to go too,” Alex broke in as he and Reggie stood. </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just...that time. The time when we need to go,” Reggie answered.</p><p> </p><p>“Smooth,” Alex muttered under his breath. “I’m on thin ice with my parents and Reggie’s mom has a lot going on right now.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie struggled to hold back the sigh that tried to escape. She knew that both of the things Alex said were true they just weren’t the reasons why the guys had to leave. He wasn’t lying to Luke exactly but he wasn’t telling him the truth either. She knew all too well how awful that felt. She had never wanted to drag them into lying by omission too. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” Luke nodded, seeming to take his friends at their word. “I guess I’ll just work on some lyrics or something.”</p><p> </p><p>He met Julie’s gaze and she forced a smile as she nodded. She turned away from him and climbed up into the loft to grab her mom’s jacket, grateful for the opportunity to have a moment alone to take some much needed deep breaths. When she returned to the lower level she hurried to leave before she could let her regrets show on her face. The boys quickly followed her. </p><p> </p><p>When they had left the garage and closed the door behind them, Reggie made an exaggerated shushing motion before beckoning his friends up towards the house. Julie followed him up the steps and watched as he plucked a stone frog off of the step, sliding the bottom open to reveal a key.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go in and get the van key,” Reggie said. “Wait here just a...ahhh!” </p><p> </p><p>He let out a little shriek when the door to the house swung open to reveal Bobby standing in the doorway. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you three doing?” He asked, arms folded and eyebrow raised.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” Reggie tossed back. “We thought you were out with your parents.”</p><p> </p><p>“I decided I’d rather stay home and read and they let me,” He shrugged before fixing each of them with a pointed look. “And I haven’t forgotten I caught you trying to break into my house.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, Bobby, we need to borrow the van. For Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s eyebrows shot up as he turned his attention to her. </p><p> </p><p>“For Julie, huh?” Bobby said slowly. “So you really have been talking to someone about what’s going on with you.” </p><p> </p><p>She nodded nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“But not Luke?”</p><p> </p><p>She cringed a little but decided to answer him honestly.</p><p> </p><p>“Not Luke. Look I know this is weird and a lot to ask but we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby examined her carefully for a few long seconds before he turned on his heels and disappeared back into the house without a word.</p><p> </p><p>“So is that a maybe or…” Alex started.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Bobby was back, his keys dangling between his fingers. He tossed them to Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“Please treat my baby well. And…” He trailed off as he tilted his head to fix Julie with a serious look. “Be careful. Whatever you’re doing it feels like bad news.”</p><p> </p><p>“More like bad <em> blues </em>,” Reggie joked, earning him a frown from everyone else. “Cause it’s music related, so just…ouch!” </p><p> </p><p>Alex had reached over to pinch his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, well, we have to go but thanks, Bobby,” Alex said as he snatched the keys from Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t make me regret this!” Bobby called after them as they hurried towards Beatrice.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that was sweet,” Julie said as she sank into the middle of the front seat. “In an almost had a heart attack kind of way.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie squeeze her shoulder as he slid into the passenger side next to her and Alex started the engine. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready, Julie?” Reggie asked gently.</p><p> </p><p>She swallowed hard. </p><p> </p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be,” She managed to get out. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie reached down to intertwine his fingers with hers, giving the hand he held a reassuring squeeze. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be with you the whole time,” Alex reassured her as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t proud of having recruited them to deceive their friends and sneak around but she was infinitely grateful to have them beside her anyway. </p><p> </p><p>The drive to the club seemed to pass in the blink of an eye though Julie knew it had been far longer. Alex parked in the same area they did last time and the three of them linked hands before heading to the looming building only she could see. If either of them noticed the way her hands shook slightly they thankfully chose not to mention it. She led them over the invisible barrier, sighing in relief as the burning of her stamp immediately vanished. They both managed not to comment on the sudden appearance of the hotel this time, simply following her inside. </p><p> </p><p>Willie was once again waiting for them just inside but Julie could instantly tell that something had changed since the last time they saw him. He looked awful, nervous and tired which she had assumed ghosts weren’t even capable of. Apparently Alex had picked up on it too. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, are you ok?” He asked the skater, almost reaching to rest his hand on Willie’s elbow before seeming to think better of it at the last second. </p><p> </p><p>Willie glanced around as though he expected someone to be standing behind him though the hallway appeared to be completely empty. He took a step closer to them and leaned in so he could whisper to Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“I need to talk to you.”<br/><br/>Julie felt her blood run cold at his quiet words. There was no indication that what he needed to tell her would be anything good. And despite this version of Willie’s seeming loyalty to Caleb she knew that in the future he had sacrificed everything to try to help the boys. Twice. She trusted him, if not for what he had earned but for what he would earn. </p><p> </p><p>“William, why are you lingering in the entryway with our guests?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie froze as Caleb poofed in behind Willie, his voice echoing in the ornate, vaulted ceilings. Willie’s face somehow drained of color despite the fact that she knew that shouldn’t be possible when no blood flowed through his veins in the first place. He spun to face the older ghost, stepping back to put a little distance between him and Julie and her friends. </p><p> </p><p>“I was just telling them about some of the parties in Paris,” Willie managed to get out, a nervous smile sliding onto his face then back off just as quickly. </p><p> </p><p>Caleb examined his protege critically before sweeping his eyes over to Julie. He smirked and she fought the urge to flinch under his scrutiny. He turned his attention back to Willie. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, the next time you want to tell them something about our operation… let me know.” </p><p> </p><p>He fixed Willie with a cold look before he grinned and clapped his hands. </p><p> </p><p>“Now! Let’s get my star up on that stage.” </p><p> </p><p>He snapped his fingers and before any of them could blink they found themselves standing in the ballroom, lifers in fancy outfits already mingling at tables throughout the room. </p><p> </p><p>“That was…” Reggie muttered. </p><p> </p><p>“Terrifying?” Alex supplied. </p><p> </p><p>“Rad!” Reggie finished, looking around in wonder and shaking his hands out as though he could somehow still feel ghostly energy clinging to them. “I mean yeah, I feel like you should ask before you poof someone but still” </p><p> </p><p>Julie glanced down, unsurprised to find that she now wore a glittering black dress though thankfully she had once again been allowed to keep her mother’s jacket on top. She glanced over at Willie, hoping illogically that somehow she could steal him away long enough to find out what he wanted to tell her. Caleb of course had other ideas, slinging an arm over Willie’s shoulder and guiding him to a seat directly beside his at the center table. Alex slid into the seat next to Willie’s, his instinct to keep an eye on him apparently overtaking the awkwardness from the week before. Reggie sat down on Alex’s other side, still wiggling his fingers. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, up you go,” Caleb told her, raising his fingers as though he was about to snap and poof her again. </p><p> </p><p>“I can walk!” She snapped, hoping he couldn’t see through her bravado. </p><p> </p><p>She turned and walked up the stairs to the stage, grabbing the mic in its stand with what were by now truly shaking hands. </p><p> </p><p>A hush fell over the crowd as all eyes in the room turned their attention to her. </p><p> </p><p>Once again she hadn’t thought much ahead of time about what she would sing, assuming she would run through an old Sunset Curve song or something the band had performed in 2020. Instead when she opened her mouth it was to sing the song she had written just last night, huddled on her mattress by the light of the little pink lamp the boys had gotten her. She hadn’t planned to share it with anyone just like she hadn’t planned to share the song last week. She didn’t feel like she had a choice. It was like the club was reaching inside of her and drawing out whatever song she felt the most emotionally connected to in that moment. The club didn’t ask her to sing it. </p><p> </p><p>The club demanded it. </p><p> </p><p>She inhaled sharply before letting the opening notes ring out, the band jumping in to follow her straight away. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I had a dream  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Or maybe it was a song  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Believe me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tried to hum along  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And when I couldn’t hear it  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tried to write my own </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And though the melody never sounded  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Quite right  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It always led me home </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Unlike the ballad from the week before this song bounced from melody to melody in her signature style over, the soaring chords her mind had composed that sounded like Luke to her. When she had heard it in her head it had sounded like <em> them </em> and as much as she was creeped out by Caleb’s magical ghost band they were capturing that perfectly. </p><p> </p><p>She pulled the mic closer and swayed from side to side as she belted out the chorus. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me that this isn’t real  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me how I get to feel  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m in love, oh, I’m in love  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It is what it is and I know you’re never gone  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me that this isn’t real  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me how I get to feel  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It is what it is and I’m still holding on  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And this is real  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes had slipped closed at some point during those last few lines. When she opened them she saw that eerie golden glow hovering over most of the tables in the ballroom. It was brighter than it had been the week before and there was no mistaking it now. Julie wanted to stop singing but didn’t know what would happen if she did. Would Caleb consider that breaking her deal? Would he punish Reggie and Alex for her decision? She tried to focus on the song so that she could get her friends out of there as soon as possible. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> I took a turn  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Or maybe it was a fall  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Believe me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tried not to say it </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Tried not to sing  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But even when you didn’t know me </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You always heard it ring  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You heard everything  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She sang through the chorus again, keeping an eye on the table where her friends sat with Caleb. The ghostly magician seemed pleased with her performance but Willie’s face was drawn as he glanced around at the lifers watching the show. Alex and Reggie seemed totally unaware of the odd golden glow, both of them watching her with cautiously proud expressions. She pushed through to the bridge and the final chorus infusing the words with all of the feeling and anxiety and confusion surging through her in that moment. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye could never change what’s true  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Won’t let it change me and you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ve chased approval and rabbits </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I guess I’ve made it a habit  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But I’m not running now  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And this is real  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me that this isn’t real  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me how I get to feel  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m in love, oh, I’m in love  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It is what it is and I know you’re never gone  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me that this isn’t real  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No one gets to tell me how I get to feel  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It is what it is and I’m still holding on  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And this is real  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This is real  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The crowd erupted into applause but Julie could barely hear it. All she could focus on was the fearful look on Willie’s face and the way Caleb’s hand clenched around his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately that was real too.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We all knew the club scenario was bad news. Julie too. She's just not excited that it seems like it's about to be confirmed. </p><p>She got to cuddle and make out with her boyfriend though so, I tried to be nice to her. 🙃</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Welcome little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we are, the next chapter. I hope most of you won’t be surprised (or angry) to know that there is a lot of angst. It’s that time in the story where everything goes wrong but just remember that I’m committed to a happy ending and hang in there. </p><p>If you need Juke fluff head on over to my tumblr  where I just finished a 3 part Juke AU where Luke is Julie’s bodyguard. It’s flufftastic if I do say so myself. </p><p>Read the first part here: https://pink-flame.tumblr.com/post/642295206028476416/14-and-69-for-juke</p><p>Ok, enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie knew that she must have performed the further two songs that she was obligated to sing but as she stumbled off of the stage she could hardly remember doing so. Clapping people in fancy clothes blocked her vision as she pushed through the room but she paid them no attention. Her only goal was to get to Alex and Reggie as soon as possible. She didn’t know what had changed between Caleb and Willie but she wasn’t under any illusions that it could mean anything good for her. </p><p> </p><p>She shoved aside the last person standing between her and her friends, ignoring the dirty look she received for her trouble. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Alex and Reggie looking anxious but unharmed. Willie was seated next to Caleb, his knee bouncing nervously. </p><p> </p><p>“There she is, my star,” Caleb announced, opening his arms as though welcoming her.</p><p> </p><p>Julie folded her arms and swallowed down the fear that threatened to steal her voice. She couldn’t let it.</p><p> </p><p>“What happens when I sing here?”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb’s smirk faltered for the briefest of moments before it slid back into place. His eyes somehow managed to harden even as his smile grew. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I thought that would be obvious. Magic! You’re a real talent Julie.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head and took a half step closer to the table, Alex and Reggie both tensing in their chairs as though ready to jump up and defend her at a moment’s notice.</p><p> </p><p>“No more riddles, Caleb,” She insisted. “I saw it, the golden glow around the audience when I performed. What are you doing to them?”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb scoffed and fixed her with an infuriatingly amused look.</p><p> </p><p>“By your own admission this phenomenon you supposedly observed took place when you sang and yet you assume it’s something I’m doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, let’s just go,” Alex said, rising to his feet with Reggie following him. “You did what you said you would so let’s get out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb pointed at Alex and snapped his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d listen to your friend,” Caleb advised. “Better to go home and make your curfew little girl than to accuse people of things you know nothing about.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you lie to me all the time,” Julie pressed. “So why should I believe anything you say?”</p><p> </p><p>Caleb’s face sank into an expression that she could only describe as frightening, something about the lack of his signature smirk sending a shiver down her spine.</p><p> </p><p>“I would be careful who you call a liar, Julie,” He said, his voice eerily emotionless. “There is a difference between telling a lie and simply sparing someone by withholding unpleasant information. But something tells me you know that.” </p><p> </p><p>He fixed Julie with a pointed look and she suddenly felt like he knew about the lie of omission between her and Luke that weighed her down. She suddenly felt like he saw right to the core of her and every single regret and fear and doubt she had ever had. She felt a little lightheaded under his gaze. Thankfully Alex appeared at her side, gripping her elbow to steady her. Reggie took up residence on her other side, pressing in close so she could feel his comforting solidness. </p><p> </p><p>Willie glanced between Caleb and Julie before his eyes darted to Alex. He swallowed and looked away. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go, Julie,” Reggie said firmly, the glare he sent Caleb looking out of place on his usually sweet face. </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded, not having any hope of getting any honest answers from Caleb and eager to escape his attention now that she had it. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Julie,” Caleb said with a twirl of his hand. “You owe me one more performance and I’m growing tired of this arrangement. 3 more songs on Sunday night and in 48 hours you can be on your way home. If you learn to keep your temper that is.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie reeled back as though someone had slapped her. </p><p> </p><p>She felt suddenly even more off center, as though the room threatened to spin out from under her feet. She had been trying to get home for so long with varying levels of urgency and to have the possibility of it dangled in front of her like this, like a real thing with only the weekend between her and finally reaching it…</p><p> </p><p>She felt relieved. </p><p> </p><p>She felt...devastated.</p><p> </p><p>She felt both swirling inside of her at the same time, impossible to separate. </p><p> </p><p>In the end she managed to jerk her head in a nod.</p><p> </p><p>Alex glanced over at Willie before guiding Julie towards the exit, the three of them keeping a hold of each other until they had exited the hotel and crossed the boundary which hid it from sight. </p><p> </p><p>Julie took her first full breath in what felt like hours even though she knew her encounter with Caleb had only lasted a few minutes.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?” Reggie asked, his concern for her obvious as he leaned down to examine her more closely. “That guys like a crocodile that smiles while he’s waving all the fish into his mouth!”</p><p> </p><p>“What...that’s not...ok,” Alex sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Julie cleared her throat and did her best to offer them some version of a smile though it stretched uncomfortably at her lips. “Really.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Alex asked. “Cause you and Caleb just had some creepy stare off that made us all feel weird, like the air was heavy or something?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Reggie continued, shooting Alex a worried look. “And what was all that stuff about people glowing? Alex and I didn’t see anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie started walking briskly again in the direction of the van leaving Alex and Reggie to jog a few steps to catch up with her. </p><p> </p><p>“It was there,” She informed them, keeping her eyes determinedly straight ahead. “I don’t know what it is. I don’t...maybe I don’t want to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Julie…” Reggie started before trailing off as she ignored his unspoken plea for her to slow down. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t. Slow down. She felt like if she slowed down she would have to acknowledge everything that had just happened. Everything that was apparently about to happen. Everything that had somehow never felt real to her even after thinking about it constantly. Until now. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, stop,” Alex insisted, stepping directly into her path and placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her progress. </p><p> </p><p>She hung her head as she tried to reel in her emotions.</p><p> </p><p>“He said you can go home,” He reminded her, as though maybe she hadn’t heard him somehow. “The day after tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed and looked up to meet Alex’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“He did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know that’s what you wanted but you’re allowed to feel confused, or scared or…”</p><p> </p><p>“Or to change your mind,” Reggie broke in, earning him an exasperated look from Alex.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, the last thing she needs is a guilt trip,” Alex reprimanded him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out to squeeze Reggie’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t, Reg. But I’m going to miss all of you. So much.”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie sighed but he did manage to nod and squeeze her hand back before letting it drop down to her side. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you going to tell Luke?” Alex asked cautiously. </p><p> </p><p>Julie closed her eyes for a second, squeezing them shut hard enough that colors danced behind her eyelids. When she opened them again both Alex and Reggie were looking at her with pity she chose to ignore. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell him what I was always going to tell him,” She said softly around the lump in her throat. “Goodbye.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to tell him where you’re going?” Reggie asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Just...home. I can’t stop you from telling him after I leave. I don’t want him to know. I...I think it will hurt him, that’s what I’ve been trying to prevent all along. But you’re his friends. I trust you. Whatever you decide.” </p><p> </p><p>They both nodded and she hoped they understood how much that offer of trust meant to her. She had spent so long keeping up the charade so she could supposedly protect Luke but she was handing them permission to tear all of that down, make all of her suffering pointless, if they decided they needed to. Because she trusted them and because she knew they loved Luke as much as she did. They would make the right choice when the time came.</p><p> </p><p>She had more faith in that then she did in her own decision making so far. </p><p> </p><p>“When will you tell him you’re uh...going home?” Alex asked gently. </p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a shaky exhale.</p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow night, after the meeting with the label.”</p><p> </p><p>“Julie…”</p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie exchanged a skeptical look.</p><p> </p><p>“Just one more day,” Julie said forcefully, suddenly blinking back tears. “I just need one more day where all of you are my family and Luke...just one more day.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie tugged her into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll always be your family, Julie,” He declared against the top of her head. </p><p> </p><p>Alex joined in, wrapping his arms around her from behind. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and it doesn’t have to be goodbye forever. We’ll be crazy old in 2020 but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. We’ll be like your weird uncles or something. It will be fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew that couldn’t be but she didn’t have the strength to tell them that in one of their last moments together. Not yet. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She said instead as they pulled back. “Maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>She let them lead her back to Beatrice and help her in before they slid onto the seat on either side of her. They listened to the radio on the way back to Bobby’s none of them feeling up to much conversation. She knew that this was technically good news and her heart did swell at the thought of seeing her dad and Carlos and Flynn again. Even Carrie would be a sight for sore eyes at this point. But that happiness couldn’t drown out the echoing of the ticking clock that still filled her mind. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tick </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tick </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tick </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Only now the ticking seemed to have morphed into words.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One more day</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One more day </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One more day </em>
</p><p> </p><p>What could have been a few minutes or an hour later, Alex parked Beatrice outside of Bobby’s house. Reggie hopped out before helping Julie down as well. Alex got out to offer Julie one more hug, his arms in the process of reaching towards her when the sudden appearance of someone else had her jumping out of his reach. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, what’s wrong?” Reggie demanded, he and Alex both looking around frantically for the source of her surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Willie,” She said, eying the new arrival with cautious interest. </p><p> </p><p>Alex spun to face the direction Julie’s gaze was fixed on, his mouth opening and shutting again quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“A ghost followed us home?” Reggie whispered. “Cool!”</p><p> </p><p>“Not cool!” Alex hissed. “He’s probably a spy for Caleb.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not,” Willie insisted before seeming to remember that outside of the club Alex couldn’t see or hear him. </p><p> </p><p>He turned to Julie with a face filled with regret. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not, I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what are you doing here?” Julie asked bluntly. </p><p> </p><p>Willie sighed as Alex and Reggie turned to Julie expectantly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yesterday Caleb said it was time for me to take a more active role in the club. I think...I think he’s been like grooming me to be his second in command. He’s always had a soft spot for me for some reason.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lucky you,” Julie said flatly.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought so,” Willie said earnestly. “You have to understand what it’s like when you die. You lose everything...everyone you ever cared about. Caleb took me in, he was like a father to me. I had no idea what he’s really up to. You have to believe me.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what is he really up to?” She asked, more than half afraid to hear his answer.</p><p> </p><p>Willie avoided her eyes for a moment before looking back up resolutely. </p><p> </p><p>“The portal in his dressing room, the one you came through...it makes him powerful. He figured out how to use the energy that leaks from it to do all sorts of things ghosts aren’t supposed to be able to do. But he said it takes too. Drains his soul energy like it’s trying to pull him out of this world and into whatever comes next. He’s terrified of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably because he knows he’s headed straight to hell,” Julie observed.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, we desperately need an update,” Alex interjected.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s going to hell?” Reggie added. “Is it us?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie held up a hand to ask them to wait.</p><p> </p><p>Willie continued in a rush.</p><p> </p><p>“He figured out he can put it off by replenishing his soul energy with some he steals from lifers, the living people who come to the club. But extracting it is tricky. They have to give it willingly through a soul connection.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s head was starting to hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you make one of those?”</p><p> </p><p>“The easiest way? Music,” Willie answered. “When someone performs a song straight from their heart with real passion they connect with the audience. They can feel you when you play. Caleb used to do it himself but he’s been dead too long without truly caring about anything but himself. They can’t feel him. Not like they need to.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie let Willie’s words wash over her for a long moment.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why he has lifers perform. That’s why he had me perform.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“He says you have the strongest soul connection with your music he’s ever seen.” </p><p> </p><p>“So why would he let me go after only three performances?” She asked, furrowing her forehead as she tried to make sense of what she was hearing.</p><p> </p><p>“He knew you would pop out in his club in the future,” Willie shrugged. “He figured he could live off of what you gathered for him for years and his future self would use you to get even more.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie took a deep breath before asking the question she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to. </p><p> </p><p>“What happens to the lifers who give up their soul energy?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie’s eyes were starting to look red around the rims, the fact that ghosts could cry never ceasing to amaze her and make her sad in equal measure.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing at first,” He said quietly. “But after a few visits...about three...they get a little weaker. Some of them get sick. Some of them last a little longer. Without enough soul energy they only have a few years left. I didn’t know. I really didn’t. As soon as he told me I knew I had to tell you.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt herself teetering on the brink of another panic attack. Her vision went slightly blurry. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, tell us what’s going on please!” Alex begged as he and Reggie both reached out to steady her.</p><p> </p><p>So she did.</p><p> </p><p>She repeated Willie’s story with as little emotion as she could manage. </p><p> </p><p>“But does that mean...when you sing there…” Reggie trailed off in horror.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m killing them,” Julie said. “Slowly.”</p><p> </p><p>An image of her mom during that last year flashed into her mind before she shoved it out viciously, refusing to focus on it.</p><p> </p><p>“What about Alex and Reggie?” She asked suddenly as fear swept through her.</p><p> </p><p>Willie shook his head quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“They didn’t make a deal with Caleb like the rest of the lifers did. They’re fine.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie allowed herself one brief moment of relief as she passed that information on to her friends before turning back to Willie. </p><p> </p><p>“How did you know where to find us?” She asked, desperate for any distraction. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes dropped guilty to her wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s just great,” She said, reaching down to rub at the stamped skin. “He’s got a built in tracking device on me.” </p><p> </p><p>“He can’t hurt you until you’ve officially broken the deal,” Willie tried to assured her. “That wasn’t a lie. But once you’re supposed to go on Sunday night if you don’t show...he didn’t tell me what would happen but I can guess.”</p><p> </p><p>So could Julie. </p><p> </p><p>Jolts.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe they wouldn’t kill her but they would hurt. A lot. </p><p> </p><p>“What about you?” She asked, concern for the ghost in front of her leaking into her racing thoughts. “He suspects you now doesn’t he?”</p><p> </p><p>Willie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“He did at first. I didn’t exactly take being let in on the secret very well. But I convinced him I had another reason for being so interested in you guys. I told him…”</p><p> </p><p>He glanced over at Alex briefly and Julie’s heart clenched at the longing she saw there. </p><p> </p><p>“I told him I have a crush on Alex,” Willie said in a hushed voice though Alex couldn’t hear him anyway. “It wasn’t really a lie so he bought it. He told me I should convince him to make a deal with the club and then after he’s drained he could be one of us.”</p><p> </p><p>A look of anger took over his features.</p><p> </p><p>“I would never do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Julie told him sincerely.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to get back,” Willie said sadly. “I’ve already been away too long. I’m sorry for leading you and Alex in there, Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t answer, just shot one more sad glance at Alex and poofed out.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s gone,” She announced to her friends feeling the panic give way to an even more terrifying sense of calm. </p><p> </p><p>“What are we going to do?” Reggie asked worriedly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going back there,” She announced, her voice steadier than she expected it to be. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie…” Alex immediately protested. “That’s your one way home and besides you signed a contract. What if he uses those jolt things you told us about to...to kill you.” </p><p> </p><p>“They said the stamp can’t kill humans,” She answered, her voice sounding unconvincing even to her own ears.</p><p> </p><p>“And what if they were lying?” Alex demanded. “Or what if he just keeps you alive but in pain forever?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t go back there, Alex,” She told him with a totally helpless shrug, emotion creeping back into her voice. “I can’t hurt people like that with my music. I just can’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” Reggie approached her like he was approaching a wounded animal. “Ok, Julie. We’ll figure something else out.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have to tell Luke now,” Alex said firmly. “And probably Bobby while you’re at it. We’re going to need all the help we can get.” </p><p> </p><p>She nodded. She knew he was right. She had made a deal with Luke that she would tell him if she was in trouble. </p><p> </p><p>She was in trouble.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell him tomorrow after the meeting, like I planned.”</p><p> </p><p>“”Are you sure it’s a good idea to wait?” Reggie asked nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“One more day,” Julie begged. “I need it more than ever, ok? Just one more day.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex’s face was a mess of worry but he managed to nod before pulling her into a tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>“One more day.” </p><p> </p><p>He passed her off to Reggie for a similarly tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>“One more day.”</p><p> </p><p>She could tell both of them wanted to walk her up to Wonderland, maybe even stay with her all night but she told them goodnight firmly and watched as they left reluctance clear in their every movement. </p><p> </p><p>She was suddenly more tired than she had ever been and there was only one person she wanted to see. </p><p> </p><p>Julie trudged up the driveway, doing her best to keep both her body and mind under her command for just a little longer. She tugged open one of the garage doors and slipped inside, finding herself greeted in the low light with the sight of Luke spread out a little awkwardly on the pullout. He was laying on his back, his good arm thrown over his eyes. He was lying still as though he was asleep but something told her he wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke?” She said in a small voice from just inside the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t answer or move so she tried again.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke?” </p><p> </p><p>Finally he removed the arm from over his eyes and lifted his head to smile at her sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I admit it, I’m awake. I just thought if I pretended to be asleep you might sleep down here with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie paused only long enough to kick her shoes off before crossing the distance between them, crawling onto the pullout bed and resting her head on his chest. She wrapped one arm around his waist and hitched a leg up to tangle with his. She turned her face deeper into his chest and inhaled deeply, trying to memorize the warmth of his body and the scent she could never quite place. </p><p> </p><p>She had been scared enough to say goodbye. </p><p> </p><p>But what she had to tell him now was somehow so much worse.</p><p> </p><p>The truth was she might still disappear or be tortured or who knows what. </p><p> </p><p>But she couldn’t go home.</p><p> </p><p>And she couldn’t be his girl. At least the one he had pictured in the world he wanted them to create for themselves. </p><p> </p><p>When she had come back to the past the whole point had been to save his life yes, but also save him from ever getting tangled up with all of this supernatural evil. </p><p> </p><p>Only she hadn’t been able to keep him from getting tangled up with her. </p><p> </p><p>And in the end they had turned out to be one and the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa,” Luke tilted his head up to try to get a look at her face. “Are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie inhaled sharply before letting the air rattle back out painfully.</p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow. Can we talk about it tomorrow? Please?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke hesitated for a moment before she felt his body relax under her, his good hand coming up to hold her head against him more firmly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure, Jules. I’ve got you.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t answer, desperately hoping against hope that she would manage to fall asleep even though she knew the odds were against her.</p><p> </p><p>He had her.</p><p> </p><p>But for how long?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m ready. Give me your thoughts (gently please)!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. One More Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So...here's what happened. I wrote this chapter and it was almost 8,000 words long. Oops. So I broke it up into two chapters but I'm not going to make you wait. I'm going to post both of them. So you get two chapters tonight the first one is medium level angst and the next one is extreme level angst. So just you know, be warned. </p><p>The song in this chapter is NOT by me. It's "Blink (One Million Miles)" from the soundtrack to the movie Hearts Beat Loud. It is an amazing song with lyrics that match this story so perfectly and the singer sounds just enough like Madison that I can totally pretend she's singing it. Ugh, my heart. Anyway, more of this song will come into play in upcoming chapters but listen to it and think of this story if you want an extra emotional burst. I doubt you'll need it after these chapters but still. </p><p>Ok, enjoy (yes, I think it's possible to enjoy angst)! 💜</p><p>Don't forget to click through to the next chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie woke up early again the next morning, blinking blearily across the garage, her cheek still pressed firmly against Luke’s chest. His arm was no longer wrapped around her, both his good and bad arms were flopped out to his sides as he breathed evenly beneath her. She allowed herself to linger in her current position for a few moments longer, matching her breathing to his in an effort to keep hers steady and deep. She had hoped that if she managed to fall asleep things would look better in the morning or at the very least that she would be well rested when she faced what would undoubtedly be one of the hardest days of her life.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’ve been through way worse.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Nick had told her that once and he was still right. If she lived to be a hundred she didn’t think anything could touch the pain of the day her mom died. But she had a horrible premonition that the next few days would come as close as anything could. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in one more steadying breath before starting to push herself up carefully. The cotton of his shirt clung slightly to her skin when she raised herself slowly off of him, a brief frown his only reaction to the loss of her weight. She moved to the edge of the pullout bed and lowered her feet to the cold floor, burying her face in her hands before leaning down to press her head against her knees. The night before she had bounced back and forth between feeling strangely calm and on the brink of a panic attack. </p><p> </p><p>This morning she only felt sad. The kind of sad that only came with an impending loss. The kind of loss you knew would hurt so much and yet you had no chance to avoid. It had been bad enough when she thought she would have to tell Luke goodbye tonight. But now she would have to tell him <em> everything </em>, all the painful truths she had been trying to protect him from all along on top of the situation she now found herself in. </p><p> </p><p>Right now he was only a few feet behind her, warm, and alive and happy and in love. With her. He had said it even if he hadn’t really needed to. She could see it when he looked at her. </p><p> </p><p>In only a few hours, what felt like only a few breaths away, he would look at her differently. He would look at her and see his own death, her lies and deception. He would see someone who had been planning to leave him and couldn’t even manage that in the end. He would see someone who was in danger he could do nothing about.</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew she had to tell him now, she <em> knew </em>she did. </p><p> </p><p>But she still didn’t want to see him look at her like that. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sat up with a soft sigh and forced herself to stand. She managed to gather some clean clothes and take a shower while Luke still slept soundly. She grabbed her lyrics notebook and a pen and sank gently into one of the chairs facing him. She tucked her legs up beneath her and flipped the notebook open, doodling formless swirls on the page until words finally welled up from within her and demanded to be recorded on paper. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We were right at the wrong time </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hiding in the streetlights </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Waiting for each other to fade away </em>
</p><p>
  <em> In the night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I wanna know if you are feeling </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All these crazy things I'm feeling </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I wanna fight away those truths inside that say </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Soon I won't be by your side </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated, raising the pen from the paper with shaking fingers. This wasn’t how she usually wrote a song. Usually it came to her in snippets over time, lines flying into her mind at the oddest moments, only being shaped into something coherent later. It was a little different when she wrote with her Mom or Luke, the way their ideas shaped and pushed at hers, giving shape to a concept much quicker which could then be polished later. </p><p> </p><p>But she had never had an entire verse flow out of her at once and just know that it was right. She would never be able to say what she wanted to say any better than that. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately that inspiration didn’t seem to be coming as easily for the chorus. She wanted to write something so poetic and sweeping and beautiful that it could capture all of the conflicting and raging emotions battling inside her. But in the end all that came to her was a simple, unpoetic plea to the universe and more importantly the sleeping boy across from her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Give me one more day with you </em>
</p><p>
  <em> One more night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> One more day with you </em>
</p><p>
  <em> One more night </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was startled from her thoughts by Luke letting out a loud yawn. She watched as he reached out next to him, patting at the soft surface with his eyes still closed, searching for her blindly. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help but smile softly at the sight. She watched him struggle for a few more seconds with an affectionate gaze before she spoke up. </p><p> </p><p>“Looking for something?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s eyes snapped open and he pushed himself up on his good elbow, shooting her a sheepish look.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re up, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>She managed another small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Only for a couple of hours,” She teased softly.</p><p> </p><p>He smiled back before another yawn took over his face, reaching his good arm above his head in a big stretch. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled over to stand behind her chair.</p><p> </p><p>“Working on a new song?” He asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julie snapped her notebook shut.</p><p> </p><p>“Just playing around with some ideas. It’s not ready for anyone else to see yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke leaned down to wrap his good arm around her, lowering his chin to rest on her shoulder. She knew it had to be an awkward position for him, knew that he must be bent comically far if she could see it from the outside. But she didn’t want to shake him off. She wanted to lean her head over to rest it against his. </p><p> </p><p>So she did. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I ‘anyone else’ now?” He asked, pretending to be offended but only managing to sound completely infatuated, obviously fishing for a compliment.</p><p> </p><p>She would give it to him.</p><p> </p><p>It was the least she could do.</p><p> </p><p>“You know that’s not what I meant,” She said. “You’re my person.”</p><p> </p><p>Alex had called her Luke’s person a few weeks ago. He had done it so casually as though there couldn’t be any debate about the label. She understood that now. It was just as true in the reverse and as much as she loved her family and Flynn...loved them and missed them and knew she had to get back to them...she also knew that Luke would always be her person. </p><p> </p><p>His arm squeezed gently across her collar bones at her statement as he hummed a pleased little noise against her cheek. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just not ready yet,” She reiterated. “Anyway, can we spend the day together? Just you and me.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke straightened up and crossed back in front of her chair so he could see her when he answered.</p><p> </p><p>“Just us?” He raised an eyebrow at her request.</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew it wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang out with her. It was just not what they did on Saturdays. They had all week while the guys were at school to spend time alone together but the weekends were usually for the band to work on songs or just bond over whatever dumb thing one of them had done most recently. So it definitely stuck out that Julie was throwing away that tradition.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that ok?” She responded, knowing that she wasn’t playing fair, knowing that he would never turn her down if she just asked. </p><p> </p><p>She had done so much to try to save others, both physically and emotionally, she wanted this for herself. Just one more day. </p><p> </p><p>She could be selfish for that long and still live with herself afterwards. </p><p> </p><p>As long as Caleb let her do so</p><p> </p><p>Julie forcefully shoved away the thought of what might happen to her once she officially broke her deal with him. She didn’t want to think about it yet. She couldn’t. One more day. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Jules,” Luke answered quickly. “Whatever you want. We just have to be back for our meeting tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded and Luke practically skipped forward to bend and place a quick peck on her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>He stepped back and grinned down at her, giving one of those little bounces on his heels that always made him look like an energetic puppy eager for praise.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to take a shower and then we can head out to do whatever you want. Today’s going to be perfect!” </p><p> </p><p>It turned out the universe decided to take Luke’s words as more of a taunting challenge than an order. </p><p> </p><p>She had originally had this idea that they could have a day where they recreated all of the best moments they had shared while she was in 1995. Some kind of normal teenage romance greatest hits to distract herself from all of the supernatural danger bearing down on her. </p><p> </p><p>Only it hadn’t exactly worked out that way. </p><p> </p><p>First she had suggested they catch a morning movie, longing for the feeling of being alone in a theater with him, tossing popcorn back and forth and acting like the idiots in love that they were. </p><p> </p><p>It was too bad a theater employee on a power trip stood between her and repeating that experience. </p><p> </p><p>“That movie’s rated R,” He informed them, folding his arms and staring them down after they tried to buy tickets to the comedy they had picked. “You kids have proof you’re 17?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, dude,” Luke rolled his eyes. “Don’t give us a hard time.” </p><p> </p><p>“Just doing my job,” The man said with a little smirk that showed he was enjoying denying them. </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt the first threat of anger bubbling up from deep inside of her as her plan for the day hit a roadblock so quickly. She knew it was irrational to let such a small thing get to her when there were so many bigger things to worry about. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before opening them again. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s no one else here,” Luke was still arguing. “Just take our 10 bucks and count it as a win.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached forward to grab his hand and gave him her best approximation of a reassuring smile when he looked back at her. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, let’s just forget it,” She pleaded, already trying to subtly tug him towards the exit. </p><p> </p><p>He frowned for a moment before shrugging. He allowed himself to be pulled away though he did look back and salute sarcastically at the man behind the counter. When they emerged back outside they kept their hands linked as they walked aimlessly for a few minutes. He must have noticed her slightly dejected attitude because he squeezed her hand and bumped his shoulder against hers playfully.</p><p> </p><p>“Where to, Boss?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie looked up at him and let the corner of her mouth quirk up briefly.</p><p> </p><p>“The arcade?”</p><p> </p><p>He grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds perfect. I’ll teach you how to dominate at Bobby’s favorite game so you can wipe the floor with him next time we go.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie dropped her gaze down to the ground where both of their sneakers suddenly seemed very interesting and worthy of inspection. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, next time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you ok?” Luke asked, her attempts at acting normal clearly falling short.</p><p> </p><p>Julie considered carefully how to answer. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. I just...you know that I love you right?”</p><p> </p><p>A lazy grin took over Luke’s face slowly but she was focused on his eyes and the way they filled with warmth at her words. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you might have mentioned it once or twice,” He said, his mouth forming around the words in that very specific Luke way that gave him that slight accent she could never quite place. </p><p> </p><p>She loved it.</p><p> </p><p>She loved him.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I do,” She said, leaning over to rest her head briefly against his arm as they walked. “And if anything happened to make you doubt that…”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t,” He broke in.</p><p> </p><p>“But if you did…” She tried again. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, I won’t,” He insisted firmly, stopping their progress and turning her to face him with a hand on her shoulder. “I know you love me and...God, this is so cheesy…I know how lucky that makes me, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie huffed out a small laugh at that.</p><p> </p><p>“At least you know it,” She joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” He rolled his eyes but followed it by immediately glancing back at her with so much affection it caused her heart to both soar and sink within a second.</p><p> </p><p>Their hands found each other again and they continued to the arcade, Julie’s mood at least marginally lighter. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately that feeling of relief didn’t last long.</p><p> </p><p>When they arrived at the arcade they were greeted with a frazzled looking employee running by with a bag of tools. The place looked deserted other than him and the normally loud atmosphere was weirdly quiet. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, where is everybody?” Luke called out as the employee scurried by. </p><p> </p><p>The man sighed and waved his arm around to indicate the games that she now realized were dark. </p><p> </p><p>“We blew a circuit and almost all of our games are down. On our busiest day! Only that wall is still working,” He nodded towards the few games lining the wall just to the left of the entrance. </p><p> </p><p>There was hardly anything there, a couple of sad looking games that were obviously aimed at young kids and the same claw machine containing the ring that had caught her eye weeks ago. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed. Clearly the world was determined to mirror the chaos in her mind by sabotaging everything around her. That might be a little bit dramatic but it hardly seemed out of the question at this point after everything she had seen and experienced in the last few months. Ghosts. Time travel. Magic. </p><p> </p><p>Julie said nothing, only buried her face in her hands briefly, wondering if anything was ever going to happen in a normal way again. </p><p> </p><p>When she raised her head she sighed and turned to Luke.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s at least play this a couple of times,” Luke argued, already jogging over to the claw machine.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She protested though she did follow him over.</p><p> </p><p>He was already shoving a quarter into the slot as she leaned dejectedly against the wall. </p><p> </p><p>“Just a sec,” He said, frowning in concentration as he hit the button to drop the claw, its spindly arms gripping around nothing before rising again. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, you know I don’t need that ring,” She told him bluntly even as he inserted another quarter.</p><p> </p><p>“Who says that’s what I’m trying to win?” He tried completely unconvincingly.</p><p> </p><p>Julie pushed away from the wall and moved to stand behind Luke, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his back. She shocked him enough that he jerked his arm, his already probably doomed attempt to win the ring becoming even more laughably unsuccessful. She meant what she had said though. She liked the ring a lot. She found his dedication to win it for her almost painfully sweet. But she didn’t need it. </p><p> </p><p>She needed him.</p><p> </p><p>He turned slowly in her arms, bringing his hand up to run his fingers down the side of her face, sliding off of her jaw before settling on her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry nothing is working out today,” He told her softly.</p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head even as her own anger at her perfect day, just <em> one day </em>, being ripped away from her grew. </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter.”</p><p> </p><p>The last place she wanted to go was nearby, the spot on the beach where she and Luke had sat and watched the rest of their family running around playing like the kids they really still were. They sank down onto the beach, and Julie ran her fingers through the warm sand, letting the sensation ground her and calm her mind. </p><p> </p><p>“This is more like it, huh?” Luke said, tipping his head back to let the sun hit his face.</p><p> </p><p>Julie leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She said with a sigh of relief. “This is better.”</p><p> </p><p>They sat there in comfortable silence for several long minutes. Luke used his good hand to toy with one of hers, playing with her fingers then tracing each line in her palm.</p><p> </p><p>“Jules?” He ventured finally. “No offense, but you seem even more stressed than usual today.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie bristled a little at the accusation even though it was undeniably true. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not <em> always </em>stressed,” She insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, you’re usually pretty stressed,” He countered, giving her hand a squeeze so she knew he didn’t mean it as an insult. “And I’m friends with Alex so I get it but…”</p><p> </p><p>Julie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“You met me at a very stressful time in my life,” She grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>That was as true of the first time they met as it was of the second though he obviously only remembered the latter. </p><p> </p><p>It felt like so long ago since her saving them from eating tainted hotdogs and accidentally breaking his arm. And since they poofed into her garage as ghosts? That felt like another lifetime in more ways than one.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I’m just worried about you,” He said, tugging her more firmly against his side. </p><p> </p><p><em> You don’t have to be </em>.</p><p> </p><p>The echo in her head almost escaped her mouth but in the end she squeezed her lips together to stop it. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t true.</p><p> </p><p>There were plenty of reasons he should be worried about her. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe she shouldn’t wait until after the meeting. Maybe it was better to get it over with. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t blame you,” She said, her throat catching slightly as she prepared to say what she had been holding in for so long. “Luke…”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could say any more she was distracted by something wet dropping onto the back of her neck. She reached up to wipe curiously at the mystery moisture as more and more drops joined it. </p><p> </p><p>She and Luke made shocked eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re kidding me,” Julie groaned. “It’s raining?” </p><p> </p><p>It almost never rained in LA but of course today would be the day it decided to. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on!” Luke stood and offered her his good hand before tugging her to her feet. </p><p> </p><p>The two of them ran to the overhang outside of a nearby store, crowding against the wall to try to keep themselves dry. </p><p> </p><p>Julie glared out at the weather that seemed to be mocking her vision of one more perfect day with its very existence. A burst of laughter from beside her brought her attention back to Luke who was watching her with an amused look as he bit his lip.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” She demanded, smiling up at him unconsciously.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re cute when you’re mad,” He informed her, turning to face her as he scrunched up his nose in that way he had done since he was a ghost.</p><p> </p><p>Julie reached up to latch her arms around his neck, leaning up to press her lips against his. He made a small sound of surprise but almost instantly responded, returning the pressure and pushing into her space until her back bumped up against the wall. Julie let herself get lost in the moment for a minute or so, the solid warmth of him easing the ache of her heart briefly. They probably would have kept going if Luke hadn’t accidentally backed himself out of the reach of the awning, yelping in surprise when cold water splashed onto his neck. </p><p> </p><p>Julie giggled before stepping out into the rain with him. </p><p> </p><p>“We’re already wet, let’s just go home,” She said, holding her hand out to him. </p><p> </p><p>He shook his head but took it and let her lead him in the direction of Bobby’s house. It stopped raining about halfway there and they both managed to laugh about the way their hair was dripping into their eyes and their clothes clung slightly to their forms. It wasn’t like they were soaked or anything, even though the rain had been relatively steady for LA it had really amounted to little more than a constant drizzle. But it was enough. </p><p> </p><p>When they made it back to the garage Julie instantly grabbed for the Polaroid camera knowing exactly what she wanted to use her last photo on.</p><p> </p><p>“We should capture this moment,” She declared, holding it up enthusiastically before starting to make her way back over to him.</p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t planned for her sneakers being wet and lost her footing slightly in her hurry. She slid for a few inches, spinning her arms wildly in an attempt to keep her balance. She dropped the camera at some point in the commotion, managing to catch it mid-air mostly through pure luck. As she caught it her finger inadvertently pressed on the button, the tell tale whirring that indicated a photo had been taken reaching Julie’s ears.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” She cried, watching in despair as the photo popped out of the camera, so far just a black square but soon no doubt to show an image of the floor or her hand. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was at her side instantly, looking her over to see what had caused her distress. </p><p> </p><p>“You ok? What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie held up the blurry photo dejectedly, blinking back tears that had sprung up seemingly from nowhere. She felt so stupid that out of everything that had happened and was still probably to come that day it was a Polaroid that drove her to tears. </p><p> </p><p>“I wasted it,” She mumbled, holding up the photo for him to inspect. “The last one.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced at the picture before looking back to her, his expression almost panicked at her sudden emotional upheaval.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” He reassured her. “I told you, we’ll get more film.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded but struggled to get herself under control, a few more tears escaping. Before she could reach up to wipe them away, Luke beat her to it, dragging his thumb gently across the skin under her eyes before leaning in to press a soft kiss to each of her cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>She finally felt like she was done with the tears, sniffling a little in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>“Feel better?” He asked, still obviously confused but sweetly ready to jump in and try to help her. </p><p> </p><p>She nodded and reached down to place the now useless camera and ruined photo onto the coffee table. When she stood straight again she forced herself to meet Luke’s searching gaze. She didn’t think she could make it until they were back in the garage that night. She knew it would ruin his chances at a good meeting with Queenie but she felt like she might physically burst if she didn’t tell him soon.</p><p> </p><p>One more gloriously normal day had been a nice dream.</p><p> </p><p>But it had never been possible. Not really.</p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I need to talk to you about something,” She said keeping her voice as steady as she could as anxiety started to creep in. </p><p> </p><p>His expression changed as he took in how serious she was. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, you need to talk to me about something or about <em> the </em>thing?” He asked, his teeth worrying at the corner of his lip. </p><p> </p><p>Of course the fact that some big unnamed off limits topic lingered between them wasn’t news to him. She should have expected that question but she still felt blindsided somehow. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She said softly. “Uh, the thing, I guess. I’m...it’s time to talk about it. Finally. Sorry it took me so long.” </p><p> </p><p>He shook his head as though to assure he hadn’t minded waiting although she knew it had to have  tortured him. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok, that’s good, right? Whenever you’re ready. I’m here.” </p><p> </p><p>He gripped her elbow gently with his good hand and waited. </p><p> </p><p>And the thing was Julie knew it was true. He was there. He always had been, even when he was pretending that he hated her he had been there to insist he sleep on the floor rather than her, and shake her from her nightmares and talk the other guys into decorating the loft for her as a form of elaborate and endearing apology. </p><p> </p><p>He had always been there, making Wonderland feel like home to her.</p><p> </p><p>But it was time to let him know just how far away her home really was and what it had cost her trying to get back there. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honestly there was still a lot of room for cuteness in this part so you're welcome lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Running out of time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not much to say. </p><p>Have tissues on hand and try not to hate me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course, Bobby picked that moment to walk into the garage. </p><p> </p><p>Of course.</p><p> </p><p>Julie could have screamed, all of the building tension and anxiety from the entire day thrumming just beneath the surface of her skin as she tried to get it under control. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you two aren’t making out this time,” He observed as he crossed the room to flop down on the couch. </p><p> </p><p>Luke sighed heavily before calling over his shoulder in a frustrated tone. </p><p> </p><p>“We weren’t making out last time, Bobby. Still not knocking.” </p><p> </p><p>“Still my house,” Bobby shrugged, seemingly unaffected by Luke’s annoyance. </p><p> </p><p>Once he caught sight of Julie’s expression he did frown slightly. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything good?” He asked, genuine concern obvious in his voice. </p><p> </p><p>Julie straightened up, making a conscious effort to force a smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, all good.” </p><p> </p><p>It was true she figured she would need to tell Bobby as well but she couldn’t tell Luke with an audience. He deserved to be told on his own with a chance to ask all of his questions and get out all of his feelings which hopefully contained minimal anger and sense of betrayal, though she couldn’t blame him if he was overrun with both. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shrugged and mouthed the word “sorry” to her as though he had anything to apologize for. </p><p> </p><p>Julie smiled slightly and shook her head before mouthing back “later”. </p><p> </p><p>It was only a few more minutes before Alex and Reggie showed up both of them practically buzzing with nervous energy. Alex was tapping out a rhythm on his knees incessantly, stopping whenever Bobby glared at him but starting up again almost immediately. Reggie kept glancing over at Julie every few seconds, his concern appreciated but not exactly helping her to hold it together. </p><p> </p><p>If Luke sensed the tension he didn’t comment on it. He seemed to have turned his attention to the upcoming meeting already, that familiar look he only got when discussing the band’s future taking over his face. Julie knew that the animosity with Queenie had only been growing and that their frequent meetings had been growing less and less productive. She only hoped that by some miracle tonight could be the exception so that Luke wouldn’t walk into their conversation already in a bad mood. </p><p> </p><p>When it came time to head to the label Alex, Reggie and Luke were too distracted to even argue over who got to sit up front. In the end Alex drove with Julie in the middle and Bobby on her other side. Bobby seemed distrustful at first that they were actually going to let him sit up front but in the end decided not to fight against something that had finally played out in his favor. Once they arrived they all filed into the now familiar conference room where Queenie was waiting for them. Julie didn’t miss the way that Bobby made a point to walk behind the chair where Queenie was sitting, dragging his fingers subtly across her upper back as he passed. It was sweet in a way, how Queenie waited until he had moved away to allow herself a small smile even if it was directed at the table. It was so easy to get wrapped up in her own tragic love story and to forget about the other romance playing out right in front of her. </p><p> </p><p>She was convinced now that Queenie was Carrie’s mother in the original timeline. </p><p> </p><p>They looked a little bit alike but it was more in the way they carried themselves, more in those particular expressions they both wore when particularly proud or excited or annoyed. </p><p> </p><p>So why had they divorced so early, when Carrie was very young? Had the music industry torn them apart? Or had the hole the boys left in Bobby’s life played a role in the demise of their relationship?</p><p> </p><p>Julie gave herself a little shake. </p><p> </p><p>She had enough to worry about without choosing this particular night to concern herself with a possibly doomed romance Bobby was engaging in. Besides, that was a totally different life. Who was to say that this time around their ending couldn’t be different?</p><p> </p><p>“Good news,” Queenie announced without wasting any time. “ We’ve set a date for the release of your first single. We want to put it out next month and get ahead of all of the groups releasing new music in the lead up to the summer. Less competition, more spotlight.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke sat up instantly, leaning forward with an eager expression. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s a little fast isn’t it?” Alex asked. “We haven’t even recorded anything yet.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie brushed off his concerns with a wave of the hand. </p><p> </p><p>“We can have you in the studio next week.” </p><p> </p><p>“We can do it,” Luke agreed. “I’ve got a lot of ideas about what song we should go with. I’m thinking Now or Never but Bright could also be sick.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie reached into a bag Julie hadn’t noticed before and pulled out a CD. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ve actually got a track all picked out. It’s called Sunset Sky and I think you’re going to love it.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence during which a deep sense of dread settled over Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s...do we have a song called that?” Reggie asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No, Reg, we definitely do not have a song called Sunset Sky,” Luke said in a mocking voice, anger creeping in. “We’re not recording that.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie clenched her jaw. </p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t even heard it yet.” </p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have to hear it,” Luke snapped. “We didn’t write it. We don’t do other people’s songs.” </p><p> </p><p>“Actually...I helped out with it a little,” Bobby spoke up. </p><p> </p><p>“You what?” Luke demanded. </p><p> </p><p>“I tried to get you in to meet with our songwriting team for <em> weeks </em>,” Queenie snapped back. “I wanted you to have a voice in this.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and I told you we had plenty of Sunset Curve songs and we didn’t need your songwriters,” Luke said darkly. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie sucked in a breath clearly trying to gather herself. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve told you so many times, I love your songs. They’re good and we’re going to use them. You’ll have a whole album to show off that signature sound you love so much. But you don’t fit in any of the boxes right now. You’re not grunge enough to fit with the rockers and you’re not poppy enough for Top 40.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re just unique,” Reggie offered. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, isn’t that why you liked us?” Alex added. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“It is! But we have to have a way to draw in the audience and frankly my father wants a hit. We need something that will get radio play and then once they buy the album you can win them over. That’s how this works.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s not how we work,” Luke argued. </p><p> </p><p>“God, Luke can you just listen for once?” Bobby broke in. “It’s just one song. Get off your high horse please!” </p><p> </p><p>“And you knew about this?” Luke turned his attention to his friend. “I should have known. One pretty girl gives you a second glance and you totally throw your friends under the bus.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but let out a small gasp at his words. Everything was spiraling out of control. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke stop,” She begged quietly. </p><p> </p><p>If he heard her he didn’t show it. </p><p> </p><p>“Real nice, Luke,” Bobby shook his head. “Queenie couldn’t get you to look at the song so I took a swing at it. I think it’s good too.” </p><p> </p><p>“How good could it be with a name like Sunset Sky?” Luke scoffed. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s called brand recognition,” Queenie interrupted. “They’re going to hear the song before they ever hear of the band. If they associate the word Sunset with the single that will make them remember the band more.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s dumb,” Luke said flatly. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s happening,” Queenie snapped. “I’ve tried to work with you but at the end of the day this band’s success is my responsibility and this is what we’re doing.” </p><p> </p><p>“Then we’ll quit,” Luke practically yelled, standing up and sending his chair flying back a few inches. “We don’t need a deal that makes us something we’re not. We’ll figure out another way to make it.” </p><p> </p><p>Queenie rolled her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be stupid,” She said. “We’re the biggest label in the industry. You need us.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced down the table at his friends. </p><p> </p><p>“I vote we get out now before we sell our souls anymore to this place. What do you say, boys?”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby narrowed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I vote no. Obviously. Come on guys! It’s just one song!” </p><p> </p><p>Alex hesitated.</p><p> </p><p>“I vote yes. This hasn’t been working. We all know it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie?” Luke asked expectantly. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie surprised them all by standing abruptly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, whatever,” He looked over at Julie and she was pretty sure a few tears had sprung to his eyes. “None of this even matters!” </p><p> </p><p>Then he was running out of the room and Julie’s heart clenched as she watched him go. </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie!” She called after him, knowing he was almost certainly thinking of her situation and how all of this was soon going to feel pretty insignificant. </p><p> </p><p>He was such a sweet, empathetic person. She hated that she had put him in the position to feel so much worry and pain. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll check on him,” Alex said, standing quickly and following his friend out of the room. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you really telling me you want to break your contracts?” Queenie asked, her voice shaking slightly. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that is very unpleasant news,” Dec’s steely voice floated into the room from the doorway. </p><p> </p><p>“Dad,” Queenie froze at the sight of her father. “It’s not my fault they…” </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve clearly lost control of the situation,” Dec cut her off, striding over to her side and clenching his hand around her shoulder tightly. “I’d think very carefully about what you say next, boys.” </p><p> </p><p>“We want out,” Luke said determinedly. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t!” Bobby protested. </p><p> </p><p>Dec’s gaze became even more cold than it had been. </p><p> </p><p>“Very well. Consider Sunset Curve released from their contract with no financial penalty. That’s a kinder offer than you would get anywhere else. Bobby here can remain with us as a solo artist if he so chooses. But I’m sorry to say that the clause regarding intellectual property is still in full effect.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“What does that mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“Your songs,” Queenie explained bluntly, her tough demeanor starting to crumble under her father’s scrutiny. “ All the songs you wrote while with us or performed publicly before stay with us.” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Luke practically breathed. “No we never agreed to that.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt a little dizzy as the memory of the contract signing washed over her. She had known it was a mistake when they didn’t read the contracts. Why hadn’t she insisted? </p><p> </p><p>“Actually you did,” Dec said flatly. “And lucky for us we have it in writing. Now run along, kids. I have bands who actually want to make it to deal with.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, some label you got here,” Luke said coldly. “Oh, just so you know your daughter is dating the talent. Isn’t that professional of her?” </p><p> </p><p>Dec looked down at Queenie with contempt that turned Julie’s stomach. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ll discuss this later,” He muttered down at her before walking briskly towards the door.</p><p> </p><p>With that he swept out of the room leaving the four of them to stare at each other in shock. </p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea what you just did,” Bobby grunted as he pounded his fist on the table. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head before turning and kicking the rolling chair he had been sitting in a few minutes ago. It flew across the room and into the wall, the bang ringing out loudly in the silence of the conference room. </p><p> </p><p>“Get out,’ Queenie said coldly, her voice rising as she went on. “Take that stubborn head of yours and get it out of my sight before I take it off!” </p><p> </p><p>“Gladly,” Luke snapped. “Julie?” </p><p> </p><p>“Just a minute,” She pleaded. “Let me talk to her, this can’t...we can figure this out.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke just shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s no point. I’ll wait outside.” </p><p> </p><p>He stalked out of the room and Bobby shot Queenie an emotional look before getting up and following Luke out. Julie and Queenie were left alone in silence for a moment before Julie found her voice. </p><p> </p><p>“How could you do this to them? She asked, disbelief coloring her voice. </p><p> </p><p>Queenie shook her head and looked up at the ceiling blinking away what looked like tears. By the time she looked back down at Julie her eyes were dry. </p><p> </p><p>“They did this to themselves, Julie. You heard me tell them they had the right to read their contracts and they didn’t bother. You heard me try to work with Luke again and again and again. We could have dissolved their contract so many times especially given what…” She shot Julie a look she had a hard time reading before shaking her head and trailing off. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.” </p><p> </p><p>“But what about Bobby?” Julie pressed. “He can’t stay if the rest of the band leaves. They need each other. You don’t know what it will do to him to lose them.” </p><p> </p><p>“I really like him, you know that?” Queenie said, seeming to ignore Julie’s statement. </p><p> </p><p>“Then don’t ask him to do this,” Julie begged. </p><p> </p><p>“We all have to make our own choices,” Queenie answered, standing and smoothing down her skirt as though she could wipe away the chaos that had just ensued. “Luke made his and now Bobby has to make his too.” </p><p> </p><p>She paused in the doorway shooting Julie one last odd look. </p><p> </p><p>“And I guess you made yours too. All this time I thought you couldn’t commit, turns out you were the most decisive of us all. And they call me heartless.” </p><p> </p><p>Then she was gone leaving Julie to wonder not only what Queenie was talking about but how things could possibly have gone so wrong so fast. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>Luke was seeing red. </p><p> </p><p>He had never understood how that saying could be literal but he was starting to understand. As he pushed his way out of the building his vision was spotty and crimson in the corners. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to blink away the effect currently clouding his eyes. If only he could blink away the rushing in his head and heart as easily. </p><p> </p><p>Everything had gone wrong today from start to finish. </p><p> </p><p>He had just wanted to give Julie the perfect day she had so desperately seemed to need but he couldn’t take her to the movies and he couldn’t win her an arcade ring and he couldn’t even sit on the beach with her without the universe deciding to abandon the rules of nature just to keep them in their place. And then there was what had just happened….Luke still couldn’t process everything that had happened. Their vote to leave the label, Reggie’s outburst, Bobby’s betrayal and his impulsive need to strike back harder. </p><p> </p><p>He had outed their relationship to Queenie’s dad. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t intended to do that but it was just so hard for him to control his temper when he felt like this. </p><p> </p><p>But how could Bobby even think about staying with a label that wanted them to perform music that wasn’t <em> them </em>? That would steal the songs that were part of their souls? How could he have actively helped them do it? </p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel better?” Luke froze as Bobby’s voice announced his presence behind him. “Now that you’ve ruined my life as well as yours.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke spun slowly to face his friend, recognizing the hurt and anger on Bobby’s face as the mirror image of his own. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you know that we had signed away our songs?” He asked flatly. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“Not when we signed the contracts, but yeah, she told me later.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head and started to turn away. </p><p> </p><p>“You were the one who didn’t want us to bother reading them!” Bobby called out, stopping him in his tracks. “And you’re the one who couldn’t just put aside your ego <em> for once </em> to try to make it work You don’t even know what Queenie did to try to make this happen for us. You have no idea…” </p><p> </p><p>“So tell me!” Luke shouted back. “What could possibly matter more than this?”</p><p> </p><p>He saw the moment Bobby decided to tell him, the way his friend’s eyes hardened as he decided he wanted to hurt him. Luke knew that look. He knew that feeling. It was the same one that had come over him when he revealed Bobby’s secret. </p><p> </p><p>They really were like brothers. </p><p> </p><p>And no one can hurt you like your family. </p><p> </p><p>“The contract should have been voided weeks ago,” Bobby practically hissed. “You want someone to blame other than yourself? How about your girl?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke narrowed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” </p><p> </p><p>“She signed with someone else, Luke.” </p><p> </p><p>He could barely hear Bobby over the pounding in his ears. That couldn’t be true. That couldn’t…</p><p> </p><p>“No,” He said quickly, shaking his head in denial “She wouldn’t.” </p><p> </p><p>“She <em> did </em> ,” Bobby insisted. “I was hoping she’d tell you herself. Some guy Caleb from a new label HGC sent her contract to Queenie secretly. She hid it from her dad, Luke. For the band. For <em> you </em>. And this is how you repay her?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t...I don’t believe you,” Luke managed to sputter out. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, here she comes,” Bobby said nodding behind Luke. “Ask her yourself. I’m done.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby stalked off, heading back into the building just as Julie walked out glancing between them before making her way over to Luke. </p><p> </p><p>She reached out to place a hand on his arm but pulled back when he instinctively flinched away. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She started softly like he was a cornered animal who could turn on her at any moment. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t blame her. He felt out of control. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me it isn’t true,” He demanded, his voice breaking as he tried to get his question out. “Tell me you didn’t sign with someone else.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie seemed truly shocked by the direction of the conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course not, why would you think that?” She asked, seeming genuine though Luke didn’t know if he believed her. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know what he believed period anymore. </p><p> </p><p>He loved her so much. </p><p> </p><p>Just like he loved his band. </p><p><br/>Just like he loved music. </p><p> </p><p>And suddenly it felt like it was all slipping away at once. </p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t sign a contract with some Caleb guy?” He continued, his voice truly shaking now. </p><p> </p><p>She froze, her eyes widening and something inside of Luke crumbled to ash. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s...that’s not what you think,” She started. </p><p> </p><p>Luke squeezed his eyes shut as a pain so intense he swore it was physical rushed through him. </p><p> </p><p>“This is what you were trying to tell me all day?” He asked softly, his voice hoarse and broken. “This is where you’ve been sneaking off to all this time?” </p><p> </p><p>She opened and closed her mouth several times in quick succession. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but not in the way you think. Let’s just go home and I’ll explain everything like I planned to.” </p><p> </p><p>“You had time to explain yourself,” Luke said brokenly. “Weeks. More. But you lied to me. Over and over again.” </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I swear it’s not what you think,” Julie took a step forward but he took a bigger one back forcing himself to ignore the way his already broken heart cracked further at the hurt look on her face. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t do this right now,” He insisted, reaching up to wipe roughly at a tear that had escaped. “I just need to think.” </p><p> </p><p>He spun on his heels and started walking quickly away. Each step felt like a decision he couldn’t take back and he hated it. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke!” She called after him and his heart clenched at the sound. “Luke!” </p><p> </p><p>He kept walking. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know where he was going. </p><p> </p><p>He knew it wasn’t home. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even know where that was anymore. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Julie all but crumpled to the ground as Luke ignored her pleas and walked away into the darkness. She might have actually made it to the ground if Alex hadn’t appeared and caught her as she steadied herself. Reggie was beside him, his eyes rimmed with red. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie what happened?” Reggie asked, moving in stand close to the side of her not currently propped up against Alex. </p><p> </p><p>“Caleb manipulated the contract to look like it was a record deal and sent it to Queenie,” Julie said, dismayed to find that her voice was more of a sob than anything. “Luke thinks I betrayed him.” </p><p> </p><p>“But you didn’t,” Alex tried to comfort her, reaching up to try to wipe away the tears that were now furiously escaping from her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I did,” She countered, each word seeming to burn as she gritted them out. “Just not in the way he thinks.” </p><p> </p><p>“He’ll understand that,” Reggie’s voice now sounded suspiciously wet too. “We’ll make him understand.” </p><p> </p><p>“He won’t listen to me,” Julie choked out. </p><p> </p><p>“Shhh,” Alex hushed her, rocking her back and forth slightly. “Luke loves you. He’ll forgive you no matter what.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie buried her face into Alex’s chest, feeling Reggie’s arms come up to wrap around her middle from behind. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t so sure, wasn’t sure he would even let her get to the point of explaining her real betrayal, the real pain she had always known she would cause him.</p><p> </p><p>She still remembered Alex’s words back when he told her about Jennifer. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Luke can forgive people for a lot of things but lying about their music? No way. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And maybe Alex and Reggie were right. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he loved her so much that he would find a way to hear her out, that he would hear the real story and process it in a way that let him keep loving her. </p><p> </p><p>But as she felt the dullest burning on her wrist, so slight that she almost could believe she had imagined it, she knew that the real problem wasn’t Luke’s ability to forgive. </p><p><br/>The real problem was <em> she was running out of time </em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things always look darkest before the dawn and all that...</p><p>Still promising a happy ending.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. You were the dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got carried away again. Almost 8,400 words later and I realized I needed to divide what I wrote into two chapters...again. So, enjoy the double update again! </p><p>Today's suggested song is Control by Zoe Wees as featured on the We Found Wonderland playlist lol. </p><p>People have been asking me if this will be angsty and the short answer is yes. This chapter especially is nothing but angst basically. The next one is mostly angst with a very significant ray of hope at the end. </p><p>It's 3am and I've been writing for hours so please excuse any mistakes. I did a quick read through but I'm sure I missed a lot of typos and such. I'll try to fix it tomorrow but I don't want to make you wait any longer. </p><p>Happy Valentine's Day! You're all my Valentines. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie hardly remembered getting back to the van, but there was no denying that she had made it there somehow. She could feel the cold metal pressing into her back where she leaned against it even though her eyes were too tightly clenched shut to confirm her location independently. She suspected that Reggie and Alex had something to do with it. She was pretty sure they had walked down the street somehow without releasing each other from the tangle of affectionate arms, their hug turning into just clinging to each other for strength. They had all needed it. In fact someone’s hand was still clenched tightly in hers though she couldn’t be sure who it belonged to. </p><p> </p><p>Julie sucked in a shaky breath and forced herself to open her eyes, glancing down to investigate. The hand in question emerged from the end of a leather jacket, the fingernails short and showing evidence of having been bitten down lately. Reggie. Julie squeezed his hand and raised her head until she could meet his worried eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you ok?” Reggie asked, his voice smaller than she was used to. “I think you went somewhere else for awhile.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew what he meant. </p><p> </p><p>After her mom got sick there had been times where it was all too much and her mind would manage to drag her so deep into a daydream it was like she could physically escape the reality of her situation. Suddenly she wasn’t holding her mom’s hand while she got some new terrible treatment that wouldn’t save her anyway. Suddenly she was on stage performing a song they wrote together, her mom watching proud and healthy from the front row. </p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t like that though. </p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t dived into a daydream. She had gone blank. </p><p> </p><p>Being here with the boys, being a part of Sunset Curve, being Luke’s person...that had already been the dream. There was nowhere better for her mind to go. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m ok,” She managed to croak out, the evidence of her tears lingering in her throat even though they had dried up several minutes ago. “Are you ok?” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie smiled and Julie hoped that it wasn’t false, that he wasn’t faking it for her sake. She didn’t want that for him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Reggie answered, at least his voice was steadier than hers was. “I mean not fine...but we’re together. We can fix anything as long as we’re together.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie admired his optimism even if she wasn’t sure she shared it. She had experience with trying to fix things. Her mom’s illness. Her dad’s depressed forgetfulness. The boy’s unfinished business and then their deaths themselves. </p><p> </p><p>It had never worked. </p><p> </p><p>Well, that last one had. But the lives that she had saved were in shambles, so. She wasn’t sure she could count that as a victory. </p><p> </p><p>But that didn’t stop her from voicing her agreement to Reggie, sweet, Reggie who had always been there for her. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” She glanced around suddenly noticing their friend’s absence. “Where’s Alex?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nodded back in the direction they had come. </p><p> </p><p>“He went to find Bobby,” Reggie said carefully, as though the very mention of the boy might set Julie off into tears again. “He has the keys.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie just nodded. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at Bobby. </p><p> </p><p>Yes, it was pretty obvious that he had outed her supposed record deal to Luke but that was only after Luke had blown up his best friend’s relationship purely out of spite. That didn’t make drawing Julie into their fight ok but she understood it. Plus if Bobby thought she had signed a deal that could have ruined things for the band weeks ago that only made her feel <em> more </em> affectionate to him not less. He had tried to gently goad her into telling him or Luke or someone what was going on with her, expressing genuine concern for her wellbeing despite him assuming that part of what was going on with her was something that could directly harm them. He cared about her. She knew he did. </p><p> </p><p>And he cared about Luke. </p><p> </p><p>The pieces were finally coming together, even if she didn’t like the picture the puzzle was starting to form. </p><p> </p><p>In the original timeline Bobby met Rose the night the other boys died. It wasn’t a huge leap to think that somehow she had introduced him to Queenie. From there it only made sense that Dec would have pressured him to use Sunset Curve’s old songs, maybe tricking him out of giving them credit in a contract or maybe just convincing him that credit wouldn’t bring them back and could only harm Bobby’s own career. In the end it didn’t matter. </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew what it felt like to have them ripped away and feel utterly alone and helpless. She knew what it felt like to be in love. And she knew what it felt like to make a deal with someone you knew didn’t have your best interests at heart and then feel like there was no way out. </p><p> </p><p>She could picture him and Queenie, struggling to carve out some happiness for themselves with her father and his grief constantly pressing in on them, his guilt eventually turning into resentment until they couldn’t look at each other without seeing all of their mistakes. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t hate Bobby. She felt sorry for him. She loved him. He was hers now, just like the other boys. She had let him down too. </p><p> </p><p>“Here they come,” Reggie brought her attention back to the moment in time to see Alex and Bobby approaching, Bobby hanging back, his face a wash of guilt when he saw her. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie,’ He started as they reached the van. “I didn’t mean to out you like that. I should have talked to you first. I did try but…” </p><p> </p><p>He trailed off and bowed his head a little. </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t hesitate. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning up until she could pull his head to rest against her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“I forgive you,” She said softly, feeling him instantly sag against her. “It’s ok, Bobby.” </p><p> </p><p>He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him for a moment. When he finally pulled back his eyes were wet. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Julie,” He apologized, the order had been backwards but she didn’t mind. “I never meant for everything to blow up like this.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” She told him simply, her head aching after all the crying she had just done. “It’s not all your fault. There’s so much...and I should have told you and Luke some things. But not the things you think.” </p><p> </p><p>He frowned down at her. </p><p> </p><p>“I knew there had to be more to it,” He admitted. “That’s why I didn’t want to push too hard. I was just hoping there would be time for you to come to us and that Luke…” </p><p> </p><p>His voice caught on his friend’s name. </p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to believe everything would work out,” He finished finally. “Just because I wished for it to basically. How dumb is that?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head, her body seemingly out of tears despite the burning at the corner of her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s not dumb.” </p><p> </p><p>“I think we should head back to your place,” Alex broke in, speaking to Bobby. “If Luke headed back there this could be our chance to work all of this out before things get any worse.” <br/><br/>He glanced over at Julie and she swallowed hard. She knew exactly what he meant by “before things get any worse”. She wrapped her opposite hand around the wrist that had been stamped nervously. Time was still ticking and they didn’t have a lot of it left before she officially broke her deal with Caleb. Before...before whatever came after. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go,” She agreed, trying to keep her voice steady. “I have to tell Luke everything. If he’ll listen.” </p><p> </p><p>“He will,” Alex insisted. </p><p> </p><p>Julie was grateful for the firmness of his belief, grateful for the way they were all trying to be there for her despite the fact their own dreams and friendships had just crumbled too. Bobby moved to the driver’s seat while Reggie guided her into the middle of the front seat and slid in next to her. She instantly leaned into Reggie’s side as Bobby started driving, allowing him to pull both of her hands into his lap. Alex sat in the back but stayed directly behind her, reaching up to run his fingers gently through her hair, eventually starting to braid and unbraid a small section in a soothing rhythm. She was reminded that he had an older sister who had probably taught him to do that. She was reminded that they all had lives here in 1995, lives that extended beyond the bubble of Wonderland, lives that were  imperfect but <em> real </em>. Music had brought them back in 2020 and music had brought them together but music wasn’t all that they were and loved and cared about. She should have known that when Luke told her no music was worth making without her but somehow it hadn’t fully sunk in until this very moment as Alex’s fingers tugged gently at her curls. </p><p> </p><p>When they made it back to the garage none of them seemed to want to be the one to open the doors. Julie stared at the wooden barrier between her and the knowledge of if Luke had come back to her or not. It seemed like an impossible barrier to cross but it also felt like she had to be the one to do it. She stepped forward and tugged the doors open, her eyes sweeping over the space inside that was as familiar to her as any in the world. </p><p> </p><p>It was dark and empty. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t come back. </p><p> </p><p>She sank down to the floor, sitting hard and instantly dropping her head to her knees. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t come back. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t tell him the truth. </p><p>She couldn’t try to fix things between them, and between him and Bobby, and she couldn’t tell him she was sorry, and she couldn’t tell him she loved him, and she couldn’t...she couldn’t tell him she was scared. </p><p> </p><p>She felt the warmth of her friend’s bodies taking up protective positions on either side of her, arms wrapping around her shoulders and heads tipping down to rest against hers. Her eyes had somehow managed to create new tears though she had thought she had run out. Julie let them come, let her body shake with sobs against her friends. Her band. Her family. </p><p> </p><p>But not all of them. </p><p> </p><p>When she finally managed to peel her head up and look around blearily it was to see Bobby standing off to the side, his face a mask of concern and guilt. </p><p> </p><p>She felt a pit of dread settle into her stomach. </p><p> </p><p>She had forgiven him but it wasn’t enough. She could see it in the way he stood awkwardly, only a few feet dividing him from his friends but the gap somehow much wider. It was already starting. The chasm that if left unchecked would only widen and widen between them until Bobby was too far away to pull back. </p><p> </p><p>Until Bobby wasn’t Bobby at all. Until Trevor took his place. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t fix it anymore than she had been able to prevent it in the first place. Maybe some things were just always meant to happen. </p><p> </p><p>He caught her looking at him and glanced away, speaking to her and the still open doors at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>“Stay as long as you want, Julie,” He told her, clearing his throat halfway through. “No matter what happens with...well, no matter what happens you’re welcome in Wonder…” </p><p> </p><p>He trailed off with a sigh before finally meeting her eyes again. </p><p> </p><p>“You can stay in the garage as long as you need to.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie managed a nod but nothing else. </p><p> </p><p>Then he was gone and Julie shakily pushed herself to her feet, both Alex and Reggie instantly gripping her elbows to steady her. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok, Julie,” Reggie told her though he sounded less like he believed it than earlier.</p><p>“Yeah, he’ll come back after he’s blown off some steam,” Alex tried, his voice also less than convincing. “You know how he is.” </p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have time,” Julie pointed out flatly. “Tomorrow night my deal with Caleb will be officially broken and after that I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.” </p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t said it that bluntly before, not even to Reggie and Alex, her teammates in all of this time travel weirdness for a while now. She hadn’t admitted that she was scared, hadn’t wanted to seem young, or vulnerable or selfish somehow. That all seemed so infinitely stupid now almost as stupid as thinking she could get out of the past without telling Luke the truth or becoming entangled in their lives. That had always been impossible. </p><p> </p><p>They were too tied up together through coincidences, and magic and fate. </p><p> </p><p>She loved them too much. </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing is going to happen to you,” Reggie said so firmly, in a voice so out of character for him that it shocked her out of her spiraling thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>“Reggie…” </p><p> </p><p>“He’s right,” Alex interrupted, guiding her over to sit in one of the chairs. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you, Julie. We’re going to find Luke tomorrow, and we’re going to find Willie and he’s going to help us figure out how to get you home.” </p><p> </p><p>He started to unfold the pullout bed from the couch as he talked, his mundane task seeming to give him comfort. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Reggie agreed. “He can help you sneak into Caleb’s dressing room now that he knows what his boss is up to. We’ll get you home before those jolts get too bad.” </p><p> </p><p>“We would still have to get past Caleb,” Julie pointed out. “And we don’t even know if going home will stop the jolts.” </p><p> </p><p>“It will,” Alex insisted. </p><p> </p><p>There was no way he could know that but Julie decided to give into the urge to let them make the plan. She had been on her own for so long here, trying to figure out the best thing to do with no one to even talk to about her mission and she couldn’t do it anymore. Even before she came to the past she had been finding things for her dad and looking after Carlos and always, always the one who made sure everyone else was ok. She needed to believe her friends could help her even if it was just for tonight. </p><p>So she let herself be guided onto the bed. She let Alex pull the blanket Luke hardly ever used up to her chin. She let Reggie tuck Teddy Luke under her arm. She let both of them pile onto the bed next to her, the space not really big enough for all of them but their need to be close more important than any actual comfort. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you have to go home?” She whispered, her eyes already drifting shut as Reggie traced slow patterns on her arm and Alex stroked over her hair. “Won’t your parents be upset?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not leaving you,” Reggie said simply. </p><p> </p><p>“Go to sleep, Julie,” Alex ordered gently. </p><p> </p><p>And she did. </p><p> </p><p>When she woke up the next day her eyes were sticky with dried tears and her body was overheated under the tangle of limbs she could feel wrapped around her. For the briefest of moments she was convinced it was Luke she was wrapped around but almost immediately reality crashed down around her. He wasn’t there. She didn’t know where he was. But wherever he was he was out there thinking she had betrayed him. </p><p> </p><p>Julie peeled open one eye than the other, forcing herself to pull herself free of her friends’ grip and sit up. Alex and Reggie both seemed to be lighter sleepers than Luke did because they stirred as soon as she shifted her weight out from under them. </p><p> </p><p>“What time is it?” Reggie groaned, rubbing at his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>It was a good question. Julie took in for the first time the light spilling into the garage through the windows in the door and a burst of panic surged through her. She leapt from the bed and climbed up to the loft quickly, tripping over her mattress in her hurry to grab Bobby’s watch. It was already almost noon. How had they slept so long? They had wasted half the day. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tick  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tick  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tick  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The clock that beat out a terrifying rhythm in her heart and mind was only speeding up more and more. The stamp on her wrist was already throbbing painfully with the reminder that she was expected at Caleb’s club that night, an appointment she had sworn that she wouldn’t keep. Julie closed her eyes to gather herself for a moment before hurrying back downstairs. </p><p> </p><p>How she wished everyone in 1995 had cell phones, that she could just call Luke and beg him to give her a chance to explain. But that wasn’t an option. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure he would answer anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“We’re late,” She told Alex and Reggie, trying and failing to keep the panic from her voice. “We have to go find Willie.” </p><p> </p><p>They were both up and moving around instantly, worry clear on their faces when they realized just how little time they really had. </p><p> </p><p>“What about Luke?” Alex asked worriedly. “You can’t leave without saying goodbye.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie dug her fingernails into her palm in an effort to keep her emotions under control. </p><p> </p><p>“I know, but we have to find Willie or I won’t be able to leave at all,” She pointed out softly. “We just have to hope we can find him quickly so we have time to find Luke.” </p><p> </p><p>None of them said it out loud but it was clear that none of them liked that plan. They didn’t have a better one though. So Julie headed to the bathroom to try to scrub the evidence of last night’s emotions from her face while Alex and Reggie went up to Bobby’s house to call their parents. By the time Julie joined them there they were waiting on the porch, the atmosphere between them and Bobby still slightly off despite the fact that he was willingly handing over the keys to Beatrice yet again. She had no doubt that Reggie and Alex hadn’t actually told him why they needed the van or where they were going. He had given them anyway, even though his best friends were looking at him just a little like they didn’t know him, like they finally could see how his alternate counterpart could have stolen their legacy. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s heart ached for him. </p><p> </p><p>“Guys, I’ll meet you at the van, ok?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie exchanged a worried glance. </p><p> </p><p>“Just, hurry, ok?” Alex said, placing a hand on her shoulder for a moment before he and Reggie turned and walked away. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby watched them go with a sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I ever going to find out what’s really going on with you? With them?” Bobby asked her, his voice emotionless but his eyes giving him away. </p><p> </p><p>Julie started to reach for his hand but dropped hers back to her side at the last second. </p><p> </p><p>“I hope so. Bobby, I need you to do me a favor. If Luke...if Luke comes back tell him I’ll come home to explain everything if I can. And if I can’t...if I don’t make it back...can you tell him I love him? And thank him, for making me so happy. And tell him...no, I...I guess that’s it.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby frowned down at her, his mouth opening and shutting once before his resolve seemed to strengthen and he nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I will.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded briskly, desperate to walk away before she lost control of her emotions yet again. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie…” Bobby stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, the first one he had ever initiated. “Take care of yourself. Please.” </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t trust herself to answer out loud, just nodded against his chest before pulling back and offering a sad smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Bye, Bobby.” </p><p> </p><p>“Bye, Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>It was supposed to be just for now. She still had hope that they would find Willie quickly and then Luke and then she could tell them both the truth and maybe that would be enough to start mending things between them. Maybe she could leave knowing that they were at least on the right path. She wanted to believe it was just goodbye for now. </p><p> </p><p>But it didn’t feel like that. </p><p> </p><p>It felt like goodbye for real. </p><p> </p><p>She wondered if she would even get the chance to have such an inadequate goodbye with Luke then shoved the thought forcefully out of her mind. If she focused on that she would just curl up in a ball and give up and that wasn’t helping anyone. </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie were leaning against the van, both of them standing straight when they saw her coming. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything ok?” Alex asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Dude, did you forget we’re going to look for a ghost to try to break a curse?” Reggie demanded. </p><p> </p><p>Alex shot him a judgmental look. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not what I...ok, never mind, let’s just go.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but smile slightly at their antics. It was just so them. </p><p> </p><p>She was going to miss them so much if she managed to get home. And if she didn’t…</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, guys. For everything.” She said softly. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t do that,” Reggie said, his face suddenly almost angry. “Don’t say goodbye.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie just nodded, reaching out to grip his hand comfortingly. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Alex said again. “We’re wasting time.” </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t exactly have a specific destination in mind. Julie had the vague idea that maybe they could find Willie out skating somewhere. She didn’t want to have to approach the club unless they had to. They needed Willie’s help to go in and scout for Caleb first or it would be guaranteed to end badly. Out here he couldn’t do anything to her until the deal was officially broken but she had no doubt he would lock her up or worse if she crossed into his territory and got caught. </p><p> </p><p>The ghost version of Alex had only told her a couple of places he met up with Willie but they started with those first. They drove down to the beach then they headed to the walk of fame, driving up and down the crowded LA streets while Julie stared out the window hoping for a glimpse of the ghostly skater. The boys suggested places a skater might hang out and they checked those too. They drove around for hours while Julie tried to ignore the steadily growing burning in her wrist. Every week it had been getting worse in the lead up to her performances and by now it was almost impossible to concentrate on anything else. She did her best though, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the sidewalks they passed. </p><p> </p><p>Then the sun started to go down. </p><p> </p><p>She knew the moment that she was officially breaking her contract with Caleb. The burning in her wrist flared, the skin becoming impossibly hot where she clutched at it with her other hand before vanishing in an instant. Julie had half a second to feel the relief of its absence before it was replaced with a pain to her stomach that managed to feel like both a kick and a shock at the same time. It was horrible. </p><p> </p><p>It was a jolt. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugggh,” She moaned, clutching at her stomach and doubling over in her seat. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie!” Reggie exclaimed, his hands fluttering around her as though afraid to touch and make her pain worse. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s starting, isn’t it?” Alex asked, his voice strained as he clutched the wheel with a white knuckled grip. “This isn’t working. We have to go to the club.” </p><p> </p><p>“No!” Julie said quickly. “We can’t. Caleb will make me perform, that place pulls songs out of you. I’ll hurt those people.” </p><p> </p><p>“Julie…” Alex protested weakly. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t...ahh!” She couldn’t help the small shriek she let out when another jolt rolled through her. </p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t right. She was pretty sure it hadn’t been this fast or frequent for the guys. Then again they had been ghosts not human and they had been stamped against their will not broken a soul deal they agreed to. She had somehow known it would be like this and the <em> tick, tick, tick </em> that had been counting down in her mind seemed to have finally caught up with her. </p><p> </p><p>Another jolt hit and Julie bent over to clutch at her stomach more tightly, gritting her teeth to keep another groan of pain from escaping. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, maybe Alex is right,” Reggie said, panic rising in his voice. “Maybe you should just perform.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head fiercely without sitting up. </p><p> </p><p>Another jolt hit and she somehow managed to curl even tighter into herself. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie, do it for us,” Reggie tried again, reaching out to tug her into his side. “It’s not your fault.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie forced herself to sit up, already shaking her head again. </p><p> </p><p>She was strong in her conviction that she wouldn’t be performing in Caleb’s club again but that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted Luke. </p><p>She wanted her dad. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted…</p><p> </p><p>“I want my Mom,” She managed to grit out, her voice shaky and small. “Can you take me to my mom?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex and Reggie exchanged a look over her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie,” Alex started gently. “We don’t know where she is and she wouldn’t know you yet.” </p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t how Julie had intended to fill them in about who Rose really was to her but a lot of things weren’t going according to plan at this point. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s Rose,” She said simply, not having the strength at the moment for anything more elaborate. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s Rose?” Reggie asked, his face scrunching up in confusion before it finally seemed to sink in. “Rose is your...she...and you...whoa.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex seemed just as shocked but he also seemed determined to hold it together as much as possible for her sake. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course we’ll take you to her, Julie,” He said. </p><p> </p><p>“But how do we find Willie if Julie is the only one who can see him?” Reggie asked, his brow furrowing in concentration. </p><p> </p><p>Julie let out a small pained sound as another jolt rolled through her. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ll figure it out,” Alex answered, his voice hard. </p><p> </p><p>Julie told him where Rose’s apartment was and closed her eyes, sinking back into the seat and doing her best to stay calm despite the nearly constant pain. If the jolts didn’t kill her she had thought she would be ok, that she could stay strong through them until they figured out a plan to make them stop. The reality was quickly setting in that no amount of strength would be enough to make this bearable. No wonder Caleb had been so confident she would keep up her end of the bargain. </p><p> </p><p>When they made it to Rose’s apartment Julie insisted on going up alone which both guys swiftly shot down. In the end they compromised and helped her up the stairs, their arms wrapped around her shoulders, then hid around the corner as she knocked on Rose’s door. </p><p>It swung open almost immediately. Rose appeared in the doorway with a surprised smile taking over her face once she saw Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, it’s one half of my favorite rockstar couple!”</p><p> </p><p>She frowned as she truly took in what Julie looked like, which Julie couldn’t imagine was very good. She was slumped slightly against the doorframe, her arm wrapped around her stomach and sweat starting to bead up on her forehead. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie? What’s wrong?” </p><p> </p><p>Rose stepped forward instinctively to grip Julie’s arm as though she could tell she was on the brink of passing out. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry to just show up,” Julie managed to grit out from between clenched teeth. “I’m not feeling very well. Can I come in?” </p><p> </p><p>To Rose’s credit she didn’t ask any more questions before stepping out to wrap a protective arm around Julie’s shoulders and guide her into her apartment. She led her over to the couch and eased her down onto its soft surface. Rose knelt down and began untying Julie’s sneakers and her heart clenched as she remembered an older version of her mom doing the same. One Rose had pulled both of her sneaker’s off, she encouraged her to lift her feet to the couch and lay back until she was completely stretched out on its surface. Rose reached up to rest the back of her hand on Julie’s forehead for a few seconds before pulling it away and frowning. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you have a fever,” She announced before nodding down at where Julie still clutched at her waist. “Does your stomach hurt?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded, wishing silently that her mom would put her hand on her forehead again, that she would keep touching her and tell her everything was going to be ok.</p><p> </p><p>Even if it wasn’t true. </p><p> </p><p>“Let me get you some cold water,” Rose offered, standing and moving to the kitchen. “I think I have some crackers around here somewhere too.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie closed her eyes, content just to hear the sound of her mother’s voice. </p><p> </p><p>Another particularly powerful jolt ran through her and she did her best to smother down the groan that wanted to escape. </p><p> </p><p>The next time Rose spoke it was from much closer to Julie so she forced her eyes to flutter open. </p><p> </p><p>“Here, have this,” She handed Julie a glass of water. “But sip it slowly. I can run down the street and get you some medicine that should settle your stomach.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie reached out with her free hand to grab for Rose’s shoulder, panic making her forget that she should really not be doing anything to make herself appear even more weirdly over familiar than she already was. </p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t,” She begged, squeezing her eyes shut again as another jolt hit. “Just stay with me, please?” </p><p> </p><p>Rose must have reached up to stroke her forehead because the next sensation Julie was aware of was a cool touch ghosting over her hairline. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, ok,” Rose hushed her. “I’ll wait a little bit before I go, alright? Just try to sleep.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded without opening her eyes, letting the soothing motions of her mother’s fingers against her skin lull her into a fitful sleep. </p><p>
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          <p>I know, I know. Read the next chapter and hang in there.</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Worth it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I promise the end of this one should give you hope! 💜</p><p>Also, this chapter now has an amazing bonus waiting for you at the end. Marvel at it's beauty and then go follow the magical artist on Instagram at lovelyrubee_art and Tumblr at mamirugbee. DO NOT REPOST please and thank you. You can share from the official posts on either of those sites.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Luke had shown up on his parent’s doorstep the night before he had hardly had the strength to knock on the door and announce his presence. It had been so long since home had meant anything other than Bobby’s garage and Julie’s face. When everything had gone to hell...the record deal, and Bobby and Julie...ironically his first instinct had been to go back to the garage, to seek out the comfort that place had come to represent to him. But he knew that all he would find would be a dark room and later the face of a girl that he wasn’t sure he would recognize anymore. So he didn’t go back. </p><p> </p><p>But he did go home. </p><p> </p><p>Once he had finally built up the guts to knock his Mom had appeared in the doorway almost immediately, taken one look at his sagging form and wrapped an arm around his back to guide him inside. She hadn’t asked any questions, just led him to his old room, pushed him gently down onto his bed and moved with a comforting sureness to his dresser to pull out clothes for him to change into. She had disappeared for a few minutes while he changed before reappearing with a glass of water and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the same snack she had made for him as a kid when he couldn’t sleep. Something about the sight of his mom, someone who had seemed so far away so recently, pushed him over the edge and much to his embarrassment he burst into tears. </p><p>His mother set down the plate and glass on his nightstand and sank down on the bed beside him, wordlessly pulling his head down to rest against her. </p><p> </p><p>“Shhh,” She hushed. “You’re ok. Let it out, baby. Let it out.” </p><p> </p><p>He sucked in a watery breath as he pressed his forehead against her. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s all ruined, Mom,” He heaved out, the tears showing no sign of stopping. “I don’t know how to fix it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Shhh,” She rocked him back and forth slightly. “You know you want to. That’s what really matters. It’s going to be ok.” </p><p> </p><p>They had stayed like that for a long time before she finally tucked him in like she hadn’t since he was very small and left him to his fitful sleep. </p><p> </p><p>When he woke up the next day it was to the sensation of gentle fingers stroking over his forehead. He opened his eyes blurrily, stretching out his stiff joints as his Mom sat back and waited for him to speak. </p><p> </p><p>“What time is it?” He croaked out, sitting up more fully. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a little after one,” She told him. “You seemed like you needed the sleep.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke was shocked he had slept in that long. He used to do it all the time when he was sneaking out at night to play clubs with the band, not slipping back into his bedroom window until the early hours of the morning. Lately though he had been waking up as early as his naturally sleepy self would allow. Any minute spent not looking at Julie had seemed to be a waste. He tried not to focus on that thought for too long. It led to him thinking of her waking up without him and was she ok and why should he care after what she had done but he <em> did </em> care and…</p><p> </p><p>He gave himself a little shake in an effort to save himself from his racing thoughts. He felt like he understood what it was like to live in Alex’s brain a little bit more. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t stop the same few thoughts from tormenting his mind on a loop. How naive he had been after he found that business card under Julie’s mattress. How stupid he had been not to pick up on the thousand different times she had obviously tried to tell him the truth and he just couldn’t hear it. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” His mom asked, snapping him out of it. “It might help.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke hesitated. He doubted that but he also felt like he might explode if he didn’t talk to someone and it couldn’t be Bobby who probably hated him or Julie who might never have loved him at all. </p><p> </p><p>So he sucked in a deep breath and he talked. He told his mom almost everything from the moment Julie had turned up unexpectedly to the events of the night before. He talked for so long that his voice started to feel scratchy. His mom listened silently not interrupting even when she clearly wanted to. Finally he reached the end of his story and trailed off before looking up at her cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure what he expected her to say but what came out of her mouth certainly wasn’t it. </p><p> </p><p>“You have to go back, Luke.” </p><p> </p><p>His eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead in surprise. </p><p> </p><p>“I figured now that you know where I’ve been you would never let me leave the house again,” He pointed out slowly. “I’ve been living in a garage. With a girl. Besides I just told you they both screwed me over. Why would I go back there?”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head, a small, rueful smile on her lips. </p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could say you didn’t get this stubborn streak from me,” She admitted before leaning into pull one of his hands into her lap to wrap in hers. “When you ran out of here that night I had this awful premonition that I was never going to see you again.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke swallowed around the lump in his throat, trying and failing to avoid his mother’s pained gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“We both had so many chances to work things out with each other but we almost never did because we couldn’t be the first to break,” She told him, emotion breaking into her voice. “But then like a miracle you came back to me. I suspect Julie had something to do with that decision.”</p><p> </p><p>Luke dipped his head at the correct accusation and his mom reached out to tip his head back up until she could meet his eyes directly. </p><p> </p><p>“We lost so much time,” She told him, her eyes sweeping over his face. “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Love is messy and painful and hard but it’s what makes the whole thing worth it.” </p><p> </p><p>“What thing?” Luke asked gruffly, determined not to cry again. </p><p> </p><p>His mom smiled and stroked her thumb over his cheek gently. </p><p> </p><p>“Life.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke exhaled shakily at her pointed response. </p><p> </p><p>“Regrets are a terrible thing to let haunt you,” She told him softly. “Don’t live your life as a ghost, Luke.” </p><p> </p><p>He knew she was right. He had to go back. </p><p> </p><p>He had to go home. </p><p> </p><p>Only he wasn’t prepared to open the doors to Bobby’s garage and find it empty. The space he knew so well was dark and silent. He was angry at Julie. He was so, so angry with her. But he couldn’t stand the thought that he would never see her again. He wanted to be able to yell at her, tell her all the ways she had hurt him, and betrayed him and lied to him. He wanted to hear her try to explain herself. He wanted to hear her apologize. He wanted...he just wanted her in front of him. He was angry with her. He was so, so angry with her. </p><p> </p><p>But he still loved her. </p><p> </p><p>Like stupid, crazy love. </p><p> </p><p>“She wanted me to tell you she loves you.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke spun to face Bobby who was standing in the doorway, watching Luke with a hard to read expression. </p><p> </p><p>“She also wanted to thank you for making her so happy.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s heart clenched at the message she had apparently left for him but fought to keep his face neutral as he started down his possibly former friend. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s gone then?” He asked, his voice so cold it even shocked him. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby stared at him incredulously for a few seconds before shaking his head. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s all you’ve got? She <em> loves </em> you, Luke. And there’s clearly more going on then just some rival record deal. She’s in trouble.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke frowned, his heart dropping to his shoes. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“Queenie just called. Rose called her, apparently Julie showed up at her door sick and when she went to get her some medicine Julie took off. She called Queenie to get in touch with me because she didn’t know how to get a hold of you. Something’s not right.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke tried to calm his racing thoughts to little effect. </p><p> </p><p>“She...she’s probably just feeling guilty,” He said eventually, wanting to believe that was all it was. “She’ll get over it.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby glared at him before taking a step further into the garage. </p><p> </p><p>“Look, I know you’re mad and I’m the last person you want to be talking to right now. But we both care about Julie. She showed up here with the clothes on her back all cryptic about why she couldn’t go home...that’s not just a record deal. She’s been in trouble all along and she’s definitely in trouble now. Now what are you going to do about it?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke stared Bobby down for a few more long seconds before his ability to pretend he didn’t care dissolved out from under him. He felt his shoulders sag as he gave in. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know where she is,” He said finally, his voice defeated. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should look through her stuff,” Bobby suggested. “We might find a clue.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke had a sudden flash of that time he had accidentally kicked Julie’s mattress aside and found the papers she was hiding there. Yes, he had found a business card with that Caleb guy’s name on it but there had been another piece of paper under there too. He turned and ran for the ladder leading up to the loft without waiting to explain his sudden action to Bobby. He climbed up quickly and shoved the mattress aside, relieved to find that the folded up piece of notebook paper was still there. He unfolded it with shaking fingers. </p><p> </p><p>The first thing he saw was a cryptic list. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Families:  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Luke </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Alex  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Reggie  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Record deal  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Happy  </em>
</p><p>There were checkmarks next to the names and record deal with a question mark next to the word happy. But the list wasn’t the only thing on the page. There were also more haphazardly scribbled notes fanning out around it. </p><p>
  <em> Willie? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Rabbit stickers? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The club? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Alley? </em>
</p><p>Luke had no idea what most of that meant but he figured the club could be the Orpheum and the alley could be the one outside of the Oprheum or maybe...she had been in another alley the night they met. She had lost her mom’s necklace there and he had helped her find it. He couldn’t see what the significance of a random alley could be or why she would want to go back there when she was under distress but it was something. </p><p>He practically jumped back down the ladder and held the paper up as Bobby stared at him questioningly. </p><p>“I’ve got a lead. We’re going to need Beatrice.”</p><p>Bobby sighed. </p><p>“No, we’re going to need to borrow my mom’s car. Come on.” </p>
<hr/><p>Julie sagged against the alley wall as another excruciating jolt shot through her stomach. It was getting harder to breath as the pace of the jolts increased, all of her muscles seeming to be constantly rippling in an effort to disperse the pain. She had slept a little on Rose’s couch, or at least faded in and out of awareness as her mother stroked her forehead and hummed a song she didn’t know. But when her Rose had left to go get her some medicine she had forced herself up and out into the street. She had needed to see her mom but she knew she couldn’t really help her. She wasn’t sure anyone could even though she had sent Alex and Reggie off on a probably impossible mission to find Willie. </p><p>Julie had dragged her way the few blocks from Rose’s apartment to the Orpheum, allowing herself to look up at its glowing sign for a few long seconds before continuing her journey. She had finally made it back here, to the alley where it had all started, the place where the universe had first deposited her in 1995. The place where the messenger that looked like Willie had led her to a portal that could have brought her home only for her to hesitate just a moment too long. It wasn’t that she thought if she got there another portal would be waiting for her, not exactly anyway. </p><p>She just didn’t have anywhere else to go. </p><p>She couldn’t go home to 2020. </p><p>She couldn’t go home to Wonderland. </p><p>She couldn’t go home to Luke. Or Bobby. Or Alex or Reggie or Rose or even Queenie. </p><p>So here she was. In an alley. Alone. Speaking to the universe. </p><p>“I don’t know if anyone’s listening,” She choked out, clutching her stomach even more tightly as pain wracked her body. “I don’t know if I blew my one chance or if this was all really random. But if you’re out there...I could use some help.” </p><p>“I’d be happy to,” A voice emerged from the darkness at the other end of the alley. “All you had to do was ask.”<br/>
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Julie’s blood ran cold at the sound because this wasn’t a Willie shaped guide and it wasn’t her mom’s spirit and it certainly wasn’t...she didn’t know, God or something...it was Caleb.</p><p>Julie pushed herself off of the wall and took a step back as he approached. </p><p>“I don’t need any help from you,” She hissed, hoping she sounded more intimidating than she felt. </p><p>Caleb clicked his tongue and shook his head, a look of fake sympathy taking over his features though his eyes remained cold. </p><p>“Now obviously that’s not true, Julie,” He chastised. “I tried to prevent this, you know. All you had to was stick to your end of the bargain and all of this could have been avoided. You could have been on your way home now.” </p><p>“After I helped you kill people just so you could keep living the good life,” Julie spat. “I would never knowingly do that.” </p><p>Caleb smirked. </p><p>“I see someone’s caught on, good for you. You may not approve of my methods Julie but something tells me we’re not so different, you and I. You wouldn’t have agreed to come to the past unless there was something you couldn’t accept. We both fight for what we want and we could still do that, together.” </p><p>“No,” Julie managed to grit out as another jolt sent her stumbling back a step. “I won’t sing at the club.” </p><p>“You have no idea of the things I can do, the power I hold,” Caleb insisted, taking another step closer to her and forcing her to step back even further. “Whatever brought you here Julie I can make sure that you not only make it home but that you take it with you. Take <em> them </em> with you. It is a person isn’t it? One of your friends who came to the club with you perhaps?”<br/>
 </p><p>“No,” Julie said again, pain making her thoughts hazy as she stumbled backwards again. </p><p>“I’m running out of patience, Julie,” Caleb’s smirk fell away. “These jolts won’t kill you but you’ll wish they had before they’re through. I’m the only one that can make them stop. Now stop being stubborn and come with me.” </p><p>He took several quick steps towards Julie and she stumbled backwards quickly, her dizziness only growing. </p><p>“Julie, watch out!” It sounded like Alex but she didn’t know how he could be there, didn’t know anything, couldn’t stop her stumbling progress backwards as Caleb advanced on her still. </p><p>Her head spun slightly and she thought she caught a glimpse of Willie off to her right. </p><p>Had her guide returned?</p><p>Had someone heard her pleas for help?</p><p>Julie didn’t have long to consider the idea before she felt her heel catch on the edge of the sidewalk. Caleb had backed her out of the alley and towards the street without her realizing it. She had just enough time to feel a rush of distant fear before she was tumbling backwards towards traffic, her arms pinwheeling weakly as she fell. She braced herself for the inevitable impact but it never came. Instead a figure appeared seemingly from nowhere to leap forward and wrap around her body tugging her back just as the sound of a car horn blared all too close to where she had just been standing a moment ago. Her mysterious savior spun them away from danger before they both tumbled to the ground, luckily landing on the sidewalk. </p><p>When they came to a rest, Julie was underneath her rescuer with her eyes squeezed shut, their weight pressing down on her but not uncomfortably. She could even feel a hand cradling her head to keep it from the hard ground. She blinked her eyes open slowly only to be met with Luke’s worried eyes staring down at her. </p><p>“Julie? Are you ok?” He demanded, his eyes flitting all over her face with worry. “What were you doing?”</p><p>Julie opened her mouth with the intention to answer, she really did but in the end it only dropped open further in shock because she could still see Luke’s concerned face hovering above her but she could also see something else. </p><p>A golden glow was hovering all around them, tiny particles of glittery, gold dust dancing between their entangled limbs and faces. Luke apparently saw it too if the way his eyes suddenly widened was any indication. </p><p>“Julie...what…”</p><p>Before he could say anything else the glow seemed to concentrate on her wrist and the glowing purple stamp there, the two lights battling for a moment for dominance before the purple particles suddenly burst from under her skin and rose into the sky before disappearing completely. The golden glow hovered around them for a moment more, brushing against Julie’s skin like a fond farewell, then glowed brighter for one brief instant before vanishing as quickly as it had come. </p><p>Julie took stock of herself. </p><p>The pain of the jolts was gone, the pressure that had been trying to crush her head from the inside out no longer pressing on her brain. And the stamp...the stamp was gone. She was pretty sure she was free even though that didn’t make any sense at all. She couldn’t help but let a slow grin spread on to her face as she looked up at the boy still cradling the back of her head. </p><p>Luke stared down at her with wide eyes in silence for a long moment before he seemed to find his voice. </p><p>She didn’t know exactly what she expected him to say. </p><p>I missed you. </p><p>I found you. </p><p>I love you. </p><p>In the end it wasn’t any of the options that her deliriously happy mind had considered. </p><p>He pulled them both to a sitting position as she became vaguely aware that they weren’t alone, other figures she couldn’t bring herself to look at ran up to stand behind them. Luke opened his mouth to speak and she leaned in to hear what he had to say to her. </p><p>“What the hell was that?” </p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Luke is CONFUSED. 😂</p><p>Next chapter has THE conversation...</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Beautiful Madness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is part 1/2. </p><p>Yes, three double updates in a row because I can't write short chapters anymore apparently but I also don't like posting super long ones. </p><p>Anyway, we're really nearing the end now and I'm feeling emotional about it. I don't need to have a breakdown at 2am though so I'm going to put that discussion off until the next chapter. </p><p>I know you've been waiting for this one. Enjoy! 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What the hell was that?” Luke demanded, staring down at Julie with wild eyes. </p><p> </p><p>They were now sitting on the sidewalk, clear of the street and any immediate danger. Well, any non-supernatural danger. <em> Caleb </em>. Julie whipped her head around searching for the ghostly magician that had been menacing her only a few seconds earlier. She didn’t see him. What she did see was her friends gathered around them in a panicked clump, Reggie and Alex and Bobby and...Willie. She was pretty sure this was the real Willie, something about his posture and expression seeming decidedly more normal than the spirit guide that had led her on a frantic chase around LA. She was pretty sure he was just a ghost. It was absolutely not a good sign that “just a ghost” now seemed like a completely normal thing for her to think. </p><p> </p><p>She had no idea how Alex and Reggie could have found Willie when they couldn’t even see him. She had no idea how Luke and Bobby could have tracked her down to the alley behind her. She had no idea how Luke saving her from a looming car accident had managed to remove the stamp that had been torturing her up until a few moments ago. </p><p> </p><p>She had no idea about anything. </p><p> </p><p>But Luke knew even less. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie!” He placed a hand on her cheek and turned her head back towards him, not roughly but not with the usual patience and care he would take either. “Are you ok? What was all that weird light? What were you doing? You just backed right into...you could have…” </p><p> </p><p>He shook his head as though to clear the possibility of what could have been her fate. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should get her up first,” Bobby broke in. </p><p> </p><p>Luke seemed to realize that they were still half-sitting, half-laying on the sidewalk and relented, pushing himself up with his good arm while Alex and Reggie each grabbed onto one side of Julie to hoist her up. </p><p> </p><p>She winced as Alex inadvertently gripped an expanse of skin that had been scraped near her elbow and Luke was immediately tugging her arm up towards his face so he could examine it more closely.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re hurt,” He said, not a question but a statement of fact, his face scrunching up in disapproval. </p><p> </p><p>Julie tried not to be pleased that he cared but found that she wasn’t above it. Then a thought occurred to her and she immediately tried to wrench herself from his grip so that she could reach for his other arm. </p><p> </p><p>“What about you? Is your arm ok?” </p><p> </p><p>What if he had broken it again? He was so close to being able to play and she couldn’t stand the thought of him having to start the healing process all over. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie,” He warned, twisting away from her reach though she stubbornly kept trying. “Julie!” </p><p> </p><p>His stern shout shocked her into dropping her arms to her side. </p><p> </p><p>Luke stepped back and sucked in a deep breath, seeming to gather himself before he spoke again. </p><p> </p><p>“Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on,” He waved his good hand to emphasize his point. “Right now.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a long moment of silence during which Julie felt the last almost two months worth of fear, and confusion, and determination flash through her all at once. It wasn’t how she had planned on having this conversation. Honestly, she had never planned to have this conversation at all. But things had changed. </p><p> </p><p>It was time. </p><p> </p><p>Julie used the burning of her scraped arm to ground her in the moment and let out a shaky exhale before opening her mouth to speak. </p><p> </p><p>“So, turns out Julie is from the future and the only way for her to get back home was making a deal to perform at this ghost club but then the creepy magician who runs it put a curse on her and she was being tortured for refusing to kill people with her voice,” Reggie recited all in one breath, gesturing excitedly with his hands as he spoke. “But we all just saw those magical sparkles so I think she’s ok now.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a pause during which Reggie finally seemed to be catching on to the fact that everyone else was staring at him with varying levels of disbelief and frustration. </p><p> </p><p>“So...like, yay?” He finished weakly, wiggling his fingers as though to say “ta da”.</p><p> </p><p>“Reg!” Alex snapped, staring his friend down. “That was not your story to tell.” </p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s face fell into a pout. </p><p> </p><p>“He said ‘someone’ needed to tell him,” He muttered. “He didn’t say Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” Luke frowned, his head swiveling between Alex and Reggie questioningly. “I need the truth, not whatever Star Wars episode Reggie watched this week.” </p><p> </p><p>“Star <em> Trek </em> episode,” Reggie corrected. “It would make a great episode though.” </p><p> </p><p>“It is the truth,” Alex sighed, turning to nudge Julie gently as he looked down at her apologetically. “Julie?” </p><p> </p><p>She forced her eyes up from the sidewalk to meet Luke’s. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s true,” She said simply, finding that just those two words were a battle to get out. </p><p> </p><p>Luke rolled his eyes and scoffed, reaching up to ruffle his own hair in annoyance. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok, sure, why not,” He ranted, his voice becoming more and more high-pitched as he went on. “Anything else I should know? When do the aliens come into the story?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what I said!” Reggie chimed in before Alex silenced him with a glare. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I know this sounds crazy. I know it <em> is </em> crazy. But I did come back from the future, from 2020. I wasn’t even born in 1995.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke opened and then shut his mouth, whipping his head back and forth again as though expecting someone, anyone to jump in and tell him he was being pranked. When no one seemed prepared to do so he reluctantly turned his gaze back to Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s say I believed you, which I don’t. Why here? Why now? You just felt like hanging out in a random garage in the 90s?”</p><p> </p><p>And there it was. </p><p> </p><p>Because of course he would land on the biggest question first.</p><p> </p><p>Because he was Luke. </p><p> </p><p>And because he could never make it easy on her. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted so badly to remain stoic and calmly convincing but much to her frustration she felt tears spring to her eyes before she could manage to get her answer out. She tried to blink them away but a few escaped and carved hot trails down her cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>“I came back for you,” She told him, shrugging helplessly. “For all of you. You <em> died </em> the night you were supposed to play the Orpheum, Luke. Alex and Reggie too. I came back to stop that. I came back to save you.” </p><p> </p><p>She could see that his first instinct was to laugh it off, could see his lips actually forming the dismissive joke he was ready to toss out. He didn’t though. Maybe it was the tears trailing down her face or maybe it was the sincerity in her voice. Maybe it was just the reality of the inexplicable events he had just witnessed finally sinking in. </p><p> </p><p>All she knew was he was starting to believe her. She could see it in the subtle shift of his brows, the tightening of the corner of his lips where they pressed together, the rush of emotions that passed through his eyes in a blink...panic, and fear and regret. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s...that’s just…” He sputtered for a moment, shaking his head. “You can’t expect me to…” </p><p> </p><p>He trailed off before starting again, his voice suddenly exhausted. His shoulders slumped and Julie fought against every instinct that wanted to pull him into her arms, ease his head down onto her shoulder and protect him from all of this. It’s all she had ever wanted for him. </p><p> </p><p>But that was a wish. </p><p> </p><p>That was a dream. </p><p> </p><p>They never could have lived in the world she had wanted to create for them. </p><p> </p><p>That’s now how it worked. </p><p> </p><p>“Did everyone know this except for me?” He asked brokenly. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t,” Bobby piped up, his voice hoarse as though he had been shouting though Julie didn’t remember hearing him speaking much at all. </p><p> </p><p>Luke shook his head instantly. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t count.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t I count?” Bobby countered immediately, his tone offended. </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help it, she let out a hysterical giggle. She knew it was probably partially due to the events of the day all hitting her at once. Hell, it was probably the events of the last almost four months hitting her at once. But it was also the way that even after everything, even in the middle of all of <em> this </em>, Reggie was still Reggie and Alex was still Alex and Bobby was still Bobby and Luke...Luke…</p><p> </p><p>Well, maybe just maybe they would be alright after all. </p><p> </p><p>She had to believe that. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately now they were all eyeing her as though she was crazy, even Alex and Reggie who knew she was telling the truth. She struggled to think of what she could say to convince them that she was more or less sane when someone she had forgotten was there spoke up. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Julie?” </p><p> </p><p>Wilie. </p><p> </p><p>Julie spun to face the ghost who was lingering awkwardly outside of the circle of living boys surrounding her. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie,” She answered, pushing past Bobby so that she could face him directly. “How did they find you? Never mind, that’s not important right now. What happened to Caleb?” </p><p> </p><p>Willie shuffled nervously from foot to foot glancing around as though he half expected Caleb to poof back in at the mention of his name. </p><p> </p><p>“When you broke free of your stamp he poofed out,” Willie told her hurriedly. “I’m sure he’s back at the club licking his wounds. He won’t be happy he lost his hold on you. I don’t think he knew that could happen.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded slowly as she took in that information. </p><p> </p><p>“But what about you? Didn’t he see you with us?” </p><p> </p><p>Willie swallowed harshly before answering. </p><p> </p><p>“He knows I was interested in Alex. I’ll tell him I didn’t know they were trying to break the deal. I think...I think I can convince him.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shook her head worriedly. </p><p> </p><p>‘But what if you can’t? Can he punish you?” </p><p> </p><p>Willie managed a small smile though she could clearly see that it was for her benefit only. </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. Look, Julie, I’m going to try to find a way to help you get to the portal in his dressing room but I can’t...he’ll be watching me. I don’t know if I can. But I’ll try. I promise.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie ached to be able to pull the boy in front of her into a hug but she knew all too well what it would feel like to sink through him instead. The last thing either of them needed was a reminder of the barrier between them. </p><p> </p><p>So instead she only nodded gratefully. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s all I can ask. Thank you, Willie. For everything.” </p><p> </p><p>Willie gave her another sad smile and glanced hopelessly at Alex before poofing out, leaving Julie staring at the empty spot he had occupied. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> What the hell </em>…” Luke’s panicked voice was enough to have her spinning again just in time to see all of the color drain from his face under the streetlights. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” Alex tried only for his friend to cut him off. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Luke managed to get out, raising his good hand and shaking a warning finger at Alex. “<em> No </em> ! She was just talking to <em> air </em>! What…” </p><p> </p><p>“She was talking to a very nice skateboarding ghost,” Reggie offered. “Not that I can see him out here but still.” </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t...this isn’t happening. This is a weird stress dream or something,” Luke muttered, starting to pace in a tight circle. </p><p> </p><p>“I...I think we should go back to the garage,” Bobby finally volunteered, his voice somehow managing to sound even more hoarse than before. “Julie needs to tell us her story somewhere that’s not a public sidewalk.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie turned to face him, searching his face for clues to what he was thinking and as an excuse <em> not </em>to look at Luke for a minute. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you...do you believe me?” She asked him cautiously, the slight shake to her voice not escaping her notice. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby shook his head before muttering under his breath. </p><p> </p><p>“So many out of the way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie scrunched up her face in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby just shook his head again. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, crazy as I might be, I think...I think I believe you.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie offered him a grateful smile before glancing back at Luke and feeling her expression fall. </p><p> </p><p>She had a feeling that it was going to be a harder fought battle to get Luke to calm down enough to take in what she was trying to tell him. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke,” Alex stepped forward and placed a firm hand on his friend’s shoulder, bringing his pacing to a sudden halt. “We need to go back to Bobby’s place and talk about this.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke was already shaking his head before Alex had finished talking. </p><p> </p><p>“This is all some weird joke right? Why are you guys doing this to me?” </p><p> </p><p>Alex brought his other hand up so that he had a grip on both of Luke’s shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Julie’s hurt, remember?” </p><p> </p><p>Luke’s eyes instantly sought her out, dropping worriedly to her scraped up arm. </p><p> </p><p>“We need to go get her arm cleaned up alright? We’ll sort everything else out after that,” Alex told him in a calm tone that didn’t leave any room for argument. <br/><br/></p><p>It seemed to work on Luke. He nodded even though his eyes still looked dazed and let himself be led down the sidewalk towards the direction she presumed they had parked Beatrice. He glanced back though to make sure she was following. She turned to Bobby and Reggie who were still standing nearby. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got my mom’s car,” Bobby explained. “Come on Reg, ride with me.” </p><p> </p><p>Satisfied that all of her 1995 family was headed back to the one place she felt safe here, she turned to follow Alex and Luke down the sidewalk. They got a few odd looks from people who probably presumed Luke was drunk but luckily no one had been close enough to hear the conversation they had earlier. When they reached Beatrice Alex climbed into the driver’s seat while Luke and Julie slid in next to him. They drove in silence, none of them having the heart to either reach for the radio or to venture a comment. Luke largely ignored Julie’s presence, keeping his eyes firmly on the road in front of them as though he was the one driving. He did keep his leg pressed against hers though, stretching until his knee bumped hers every few seconds as though to remind himself that she was there. It could have been an accident but she chose to cling onto it as a sign that he still cared. That he was glad she was next to him and wanted to reassure himself of that fact. </p><p> </p><p>They made it back to Bobby’s at about the same time as Bobby and Reggie did, all five of them converging in the garage and tumbling into various seats as though it were a normal night in Wonderland. </p><p> </p><p>Only it wasn’t a normal night. </p><p> </p><p>Luke was sitting on one end of the couch, his knee bouncing up and down with excess energy that he had no other way to release. Julie had instinctively headed to sit next to him only to redirect towards one of the chairs at the last second. She didn’t know if he would welcome her next to him. She couldn’t force herself on him. She had taken so many choices away from him, even if she had done it out of love. </p><p> </p><p>It had to be his choice from now on. </p><p> </p><p>Alex had retrieved a first aid kit from somewhere and patched her arm up as best he could, spreading a stinging ointment over her skin before covering it with a patchwork of bandaids. She smiled at him gratefully once he finished, grateful for both the loving care and the brief distraction from the conversation to come. </p><p> </p><p>The garage descended into awkward silence for a few more moments before Bobby finally sighed heavily. </p><p> </p><p>“This is never going to get less weird. We just need to hear the truth. The whole truth.” </p><p> </p><p>“From Julie,” Alex broke in, shooting Reggie a warning look. </p><p> </p><p>Reggie held up his hands in surrender, before reaching over to pat Julie supportively on the knee. </p><p> </p><p>“Whenever you’re ready, Julie.” </p><p> </p><p>Was she ready?</p><p> </p><p>She took a deep breath and then exhaled it. </p><p> </p><p>Yeah, she was ready. Finally. </p><p> </p><p>Now if Luke would just meet her eyes instead of staring determinedly at his Vans…</p><p> </p><p>“Um, it’s so hard to know where to start,” She said eventually, her voice soft at first but becoming louder and more confident as she went. “But I guess the most important thing is that a few months ago I played this old cd my mom left in our garage…” </p><p> </p><p>She glanced around and smiled softly without meaning to. </p><p> </p><p>“<em>This </em>garage. This is my family’s house in 2020. Anyway, it was a Sunset Curve demo. I played it and three ghosts turned up.” </p><p> </p><p>She glanced over at Alex and Reggie who both nodded encouragingly. </p><p> </p><p>“And those ghosts were Alex, and Reggie and…” </p><p> </p><p>She looked back over to Luke who had finally raised his eyes from his shoes. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke.” </p><p> </p><p>He flinched like she had slapped him when she said his name. She forced herself to keep going. </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said earlier it turned out that you guys ate these bad hotdogs right before your big night. I was the only one who could see you but we figured out that everyone could hear you play and everyone could see you when we played together. We had a band, Julie and the Phantoms.” </p><p> </p><p>“Love that name,” Reggie offered sweetly. </p><p> </p><p>“So I...I just grew up?” Bobby broke in, his face stretching into something ugly as what she was telling him really sunk in. “Alone?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie hesitated. She had hoped not to get into this part of the story so soon. Finally she nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Bobby,” She pushed on. “You grew up to be this famous rocker but you called yourself Trevor Wilson. Your daughter was actually my friend...at one point.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why would you be sorry about that?” Bobby asked. </p><p> </p><p>Julie considered leaving out the betrayal of his former future but she knew it would fester either way. Alex knew. Reggie knew. Bobby and Luke were already fighting. The only thing she could offer them was the truth. </p><p> </p><p>“You used a lot of Sunset Curve songs on your first album. You didn’t...you didn’t mention the other guys.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby sank back into his chair, his face ashen and blank. </p><p> </p><p>Luke let out a huff of air and shook his head as though he wanted to say something but thought better of it. </p><p> </p><p>Julie pushed forward quickly before she lost her nerve. </p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, everything was going great until you guys got wrapped up with this ghost Caleb. He put these stamps on you, they were kind of like a curse. He wanted you to play in his club’s band for eternity. When you refused he started hurting you with these jolts. We thought if we played the Orpheum that would be your unfinished business and you could cross over instead. Only it didn’t work. I had to watch…” </p><p> </p><p>Her voice disappeared into a choked, wordless sound as tears once again sprang to her eyes without her permission. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys just disappeared. I couldn’t...I couldn’t help you. But there’s this ghost Alex met, Willie. He helped me find this portal that was like a door through time so I went in.” </p><p> </p><p>“You...went into a door through time?” Bobby repeated, his expression still blank. “Why would you do that?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie shrugged, chancing a glance at Luke only to see he was already watching her with a frown, the crease between his eyebrows becoming more and more pronounced. </p><p> </p><p>“I told you guys, I had to try to save you. I thought I could stop you from eating the hotdogs and everything would be fine. Only I broke Luke’s arm and I couldn’t get back home and I ran into my mom…” </p><p> </p><p>She trailed off as she sucked in a breath to try to keep her emotions under control. </p><p> </p><p>“Rose?” Bobby guessed, shocking her with his correct conclusion. “You called her mom the first time we met. I thought it was a weird slip of the tongue but…” </p><p> </p><p>Luke made an odd, choked noise but didn’t say anything. </p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, she died a year ago in my time so seeing her again has been...hard, and strange and...amazing. But I knew I needed to go home so I’ve been trying to help you guys as much as possible cause I figured it was my unfinished business to make sure you were happy. To make sure you were going to be ok if I...after I...left. But then when the portal showed up I couldn’t...I couldn’t go without saying goodbye and I missed it.” </p><p> </p><p>Bobby’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. </p><p> </p><p>“When was this?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie glanced at Luke again. She couldn’t help it. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, the night we played the Orpheum.” </p><p> </p><p>She could see the gears turning in Luke’s head and forced herself to turn away yet again so she didn’t have to see the realization of what had just happened when she missed her trip home hit him. </p><p> </p><p>“After that I figured my only way home was the portal I knew of in Caleb’s club so I went to him and made a deal. I would perform three times and then he would send me home. But he stamped me and I found out when I sang I was draining people’s souls and I couldn’t do it. So I started getting jolts, just like all of you did and that brings us up to tonight. Caleb was in that alley with me only none of you could see him. I was in pain and I was scared and I almost fell into the street but...Luke was there. All of you were.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a long moment of silence before someone spoke up. She couldn’t hide her shock that it was Luke who finally broke the heavy hush covering the garage. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you still...is that Caleb guy’s stamp still on you?” </p><p> </p><p>His voice was gruff and unfamiliar but she tried to focus on the fact that he was speaking at all. Surely that had to be a good sign. Please let that be a good sign. </p><p> </p><p>She shook her head quickly, her by now unruly curls bouncing against her face. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I can’t explain it but when you saved me it disappeared. You all saw it too, didn’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>She turned to see that they were all nodding, confused but firm in what they had seen. </p><p> </p><p>She looked back over at Luke, her voice softening without her consciously deciding to do it. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Luke. You saved me in more ways than one tonight.” </p><p> </p><p>She regretted the flowery statement as soon as it had escaped her mouth. It was true, of course it was true, but it also wasn’t <em> her </em>. It didn’t sound like something she would say at least not like that. She wanted to be across the room touching him, looking into his eyes. He would say “So, I saved you tonight, huh?” and she would say “Don’t let it go to your head” and they would laugh and maybe cry a little and hold each other until the fear of what almost happened had left them. </p><p> </p><p>But that didn’t happen. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t respond to her thanks, just stared her down a little unnervingly, that intense look he usually reserved for a problematic song lyric he couldn’t crack now trained directly at her. </p><p> </p><p>“So that whole contract thing…” Bobby said slowly. “That was just a trick from this Caleb guy?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“I signed a contract with him but it was just to sing at his club a few times. I don’t know what kind of magical crap he did to it before he sent it to Queenie but it wouldn’t be the first time he used an illusion on us. There’s this time warp in his club too, that’s why I didn’t make it to Luke’s parents’ place that night.” </p><p> </p><p>“When did they find out?” Luke asked flatly, nodding over at Alex and Reggie. </p><p> </p><p>Julie had been waiting for this question. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, Reggie a couple of weeks ago. Alex a little longer. I didn’t intend to tell any of you, it just sort of...happened. They wouldn’t let me go to Caleb’s club alone.” </p><p> </p><p>She shot them a grateful smile which they returned, Alex’s smile a little tight as he glanced between Julie and Luke nervously. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s pretty much it,” She said, her voice still shaking slightly. “But you can ask me any questions you want and I’ll answer them all. I’m so, so sorry for keeping this from you.” </p><p> </p><p>In theory she was talking to both Bobby and Luke but she didn’t think she was fooling anybody. Both her words and her anxious stare were directed at the boy she loved too much for her own good. </p><p> </p><p>There was a drawn out silence and Julie dug her nails into her palms in an effort not to speak. She owed it to them to let them come to their own conclusions, to process at their own pace and decide if and when they had something to say to her. She owed them that and so much more. She could do this. She would sit here all night if she needed to. She could do this. She could…</p><p> </p><p>“Please say something,” She burst out without meaning to. “Luke. Luke, please say something.” </p><p> </p><p>Something about her borderline desperate words must have gotten through to him, or maybe it had all just finally sunk in. Either way, it was like he came back to life, his expression shifting and his voice coming through more steady than it had since before his blow up at the record label the night before. </p><p> </p><p>“So let me get this straight...you watched us die…” </p><p> </p><p>“Technically we were already dead,” Reggie corrected, only to be quieted by glares from both Alex and Bobby. </p><p> </p><p>“You watched us...disappear. Then you jumped into a hole through time without knowing if you could ever get home again. You missed your chance to go when it did come and you were tortured by some evil ghost while you were looking for another way. You did all that to save us and you never even...you just let me...all on your own?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie opened her mouth to speak but found that she couldn’t. Her words were choked off before they could be fully formed, the lump in her throat suddenly insurmountable. She settled for a jerky nod, her eyes darting across Luke’s face in search of some sort of sign as to what emotion was hiding behind his words. She didn’t have to wait long. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t say anything else, just opened his arms wide in silent invitation and something inside of Julie came together even as something else cracked open. The hole in her chest that had been growing since Luke walked away from the night before filled itself in, patching up the edges. But her resolve, her determination to shoulder the weight of all of this on her own crumbled like the sand castles she used to make with her mom. The tide of Luke’s acceptance creeping up to wash them away leaving only love in their wake. </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t stop to think about the fact that they had an audience just stumbled out of her chair and across the distance between them, crawling into Luke’s lap and curling up as small as she could so as much of her body as possible was contained within the circle of his arms. He tucked her head under his chin and latched his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her hair and brushing a few soft kisses against the crown of her head. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know,” He murmured, all of the emotion his voice had been missing rushing in at once “I didn’t know.” </p><p> </p><p>Julie relished in the feeling of him surrounding her, even the scratchy feeling where his cast rested against her torso. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t tell you,” She whispered back. “I thought I needed to protect you.” </p><p> </p><p>She felt it when he shook his head, his forehead tilting down to press against hers. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so stupid,” He said softly, but his voice had no bite to it only incredulous affection. “You are <em> so </em> stupid. And fearless and amazing and <em> brave </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>“This is so beautiful!” Reggie’s voice broke them out of their private moment and Julie giggled through the lingering tightness in her throat. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Reg, they’re having a moment,” Alex shushed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re the one who is tearing up,” Reggie pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>“I am not!” Alex insisted, his emotionally charged voice completely undercutting his denial. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we should leave them alone now,” Bobby suggested, standing up a little awkwardly. </p><p> </p><p>Julie was still worried about the distance between him and the other boys, especially now that the secret about his future self’s actions were out in the open. She just couldn’t muster the energy to think about it too hard at that moment. Maybe it was everything she had been through in the last 24 hours or maybe it was just the comfortable warmth emanating off of Luke but she was suddenly on the brink of falling asleep. </p><p> </p><p>“We’ll see you guys tomorrow after school,” Alex said softly, crossing over to drag his hand gently over Julie’s head. </p><p> </p><p>Once Alex had walked away Reggie took his place, pushing Luke back far enough that he could plant a kiss right on Julie’s forehead. </p><p> </p><p>Bobby didn’t approach them, just offered her a strained smile when she caught his eye. </p><p> </p><p>Then they were gone and she and Luke were alone.</p><p> </p><p>Neither of them spoke for a long time, just drawing what comfort they could from their closeness. It couldn’t last forever though. </p><p> </p><p>“What now?” Luke finally asked, his voice hushed and unsure. </p><p> </p><p>He sounded so young. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They were so young. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie knew the answer to his question and she knew she had to tell him the truth, even though it was hard. Especially because it was hard. </p><p> </p><p>“Willie’s going to see if there’s a way to get me home through Caleb’s portal without getting mixed up in his plans again. I’m not holding my breath. I’ll never make another deal with him. But if he comes through or if by some miracle another hole appears somewhere else...I’ll go home. Caleb was right about one thing, I don’t belong here.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded against her head again but squeezed her closer against him anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“You do belong with us though,” He argued without any real bite. “With me.” </p><p> </p><p>It was her turn to nod. </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” She agreed softly. “But if I can I still have to go home.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” He said simply, pain clear in his voice but also understanding. </p><p> </p><p>“Ok,” She echoed. </p><p> </p><p>And just like that she relinquished control over everything she had been holding to so tightly for months. She felt like Alice, finally starting to recover from the beautiful madness of Wonderland. </p><p> </p><p>She would never regret her time there. </p><p> </p><p>But it was a dream. </p><p> </p><p>A dream she knew deep down it was time to wake up from.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Luke finally found out. I hope it lived up to everyone's expectations...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Time's up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is part 2/2 of a double update. If you didn't read the other chapter posted today go back and do that first!</p><p>Too many feelings to say much...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After that things went on in an almost strangely normal way for a couple more weeks. </p><p> </p><p>Julie no longer had anywhere to sneak off to and there were no more meetings at the label taking up their time. Instead the band spent hours just hanging out in the garage, eating pizza and playing board games and a hundred other mundane teenage activities that felt almost impossibly innocent and easy after all of the angst of the past few weeks. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t all perfect. </p><p> </p><p>A Bobby shaped cloud still hung over Wonderland, though no one but Julie seemed to be calling the garage that anymore. Still, he joined them there and the other boys accepted him so much more readily than Julie could have ever imagined. Even Luke who didn't so much apologize as he did make a big show out of offering to go get gas for Beatrice and suggesting they get the burgers he knew Bobby liked and once handing him a bag of his favorite chips unprompted that he had picked up somewhere. Bobby accepted the unspoken apology and found ways to make his own and everything should have been great. Except it wasn’t. </p><p> </p><p>Because Bobby was heartbroken. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t know the full story. </p><p> </p><p>Even when she had gotten him alone he had only spoken a few, clipped sentences on the subject before shutting down completely but she could guess enough. Bobby had decided not to sign with Red Rose as a solo artist. How could he when he had just been faced with all of the pain he had apparently caused his friends with a similar choice? But deep down Julie was pretty sure he wouldn’t have taken the deal in this timeline regardless of if she had told him about Trevor Wilson or not. She knew Bobby now, really knew him, and she thought she understood him, at least a little bit. He had been faced with a lot of pain all at once and yes, that had probably clouded his mind when combined with the heady rush of first love. But the difference was maybe he could be led astray when his family was gone, betrayal in the abstract. Maybe he didn’t have the loyalty to their music that Luke did, maybe he could have been convinced to look at repurposing Sunset Curve’s songs practically after their deaths. Maybe he could do that.  But when they were alive and breathing in front of him? He could abandon his principles under the right circumstances but he could never abandon <em> them </em>.</p><p> </p><p>But Queenie could never abandon her father, despite everything. And she wasn’t interested in sneaking around behind his back either. </p><p> </p><p>It was like she said. </p><p> </p><p>They all had to make their own choices. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t stop Julie from being sad for Bobby though and even for Queenie who she knew wasn’t as tough as she pretended to be. It also didn’t stop Julie from feeling uneasy about the future. </p><p> </p><p>“Just give it some time,” She tried to reassure him. “She might come around. But just promise me you’ll try to work things out. I think you’re meant to be.” </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t tell him why she thought that and thankfully he didn’t ask. Just informed her that the night she was hit by jolts Queenie and Rose had actually been out searching for her after she disappeared from Rose’s apartment. </p><p> </p><p>That had been news to Julie. </p><p> </p><p>“Together?” She had asked, her eyebrows shooting up in shock. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Bobby said, bumping his shoulder gently against hers. “A lot of people love you, Molina.” </p><p> </p><p>She went to visit Rose a couple of times during those weeks too, watching movies in her apartment and eating tacos at the shop where her mom worked. Julie soaked up her smiles and her hugs and her spirit and tried to explain away the weird night when she showed up on her doorstep in pain and distress. To her credit Rose mostly let the situation pass, making Julie promise to tell her if she’s ever in trouble and to never disappear on her like that again. </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help but extract some promises from Rose too. </p><p> </p><p>She clumsily brought up the topic of going to the doctor, made an amused Rose promise to go for a check up at least once a year and pretended she had something in her eye as she turned away to gather herself. She brought up the topic of boys slightly less clumsily and insisted that if Rose ever met a kind of dorky photography student she would give him a chance despite her pointing out that her type was exclusively James Dean types who played in bands. </p><p> </p><p>The first time she and Luke sat down to write a song after the big reveal all she could do was scribble sad doodles in the margins of her paper until Luke finally noticed and asked what was wrong. </p><p> </p><p>“I just can’t stop thinking about all your songs they took from you,” She admitted, letting him pull her out of her seat and onto his lap, tossing his notebook aside as he tucked her against him. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I can write a thousand more songs,” He told her, stroking the hair away from her face with a grin. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s kind of my thing.” </p><p> </p><p>She knew it still hurt him, that some of his unaffected bravado was for her benefit. But she also had so much faith in him. 1,000 more songs. He could do it. She knew he could. </p><p> </p><p>So they wrote. </p><p> </p><p>And they ate pizza. </p><p> </p><p>And they went to the arcade, and he taught her how to play his favorite games, and she pretended not to see when he tried and failed to win her that dumb purple ring for the hundredth time. </p><p> </p><p>She went for ice cream with Reggie and taught Alex how to do this silly TikTok dance she knew he would like despite the fact that the original song it went with wouldn’t exist for another 25 years. </p><p> </p><p>She let them regale her with the story of how they had found Willie the night she was in trouble, how Alex had marched right up to the invisible boundary outside of the invisible club and just screamed Willie’s name until someone invisible had pinched his arm to get his attention. Julie had hugged them both hard after that, overwhelmed with how they could manage to be so brave and so ridiculous at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>She went with Luke to have dinner with his parents, not to try to mend bridges or restart communication just to eat and talk and be happy. She could see that something had changed between Luke and his mom. They weren’t walking on eggshells around each other anymore. His mom knew that the record deal had fallen through but didn’t try to push him to give up and go back to school. Luke knew that she was trying and didn’t make each conversation such a heavy statement on their whole relationship. He even joked around a little, bringing up funny stories from his childhood which his parents were more than happy to build on with more stories of their own. Julie finally got to see those pictures of little Luke and Reggie, their faces covered with dirt but their grins a mile wide. They ate cake, and talked and Julie and Luke walked home holding hands in comfortable silence. </p><p> </p><p>She went with him to get his cast off. </p><p> </p><p>When the day of his appointment came Emily picked them both up, smiling at them in the rearview mirror after Luke had insisted on riding in the back with Julie. She had tried to convince him that it was weird to treat his mom like a chauffeur but Emily had only laughed and assured Julie that she didn’t mind. When they got to the doctor’s office there was a lot of awkwardness at the check in when Luke had to admit that he was not in fact Reggie Peters and may have committed just the smallest bit of insurance fraud when he had given the emergency room Reggie’s information. He had been hoping to avoid them calling his parents and to get his treatment paid for without alerting anyone. It had been a pretty dumb plan and the nurse who listened to the story seemed prepared to raise a stink about it until Emily turned on the charm and pulled out her own insurance card and suddenly the problem seemed to be solved. She got a head start on the paperwork while Julie went back with Luke to have his cast removed. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, look at this!” The doctor exclaimed goodnaturedly as he turned Luke’s arm over to admire all of the drawings on it. “This is definitely one of the best I’ve seen. Did your girl here do these?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke looked up to smile at her but it didn’t reach his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, she did.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s fine work,” The Doctor said as he reached for the saw that would be used to remove Luke’s cast. “Now, this won’t hurt but the vibrations may feel strange. Just hold still for me and we’ll have you out of here in no time.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” </p><p> </p><p>Luke jerked his arm back against his chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Can I keep it?” He asked. “After you cut it off?”</p><p> </p><p>The doctor frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid not, young man. It will be considered medical waste. Not to mention it’s going to smell quite a bit once we cut it open. These things aren’t the most sanitary after two months of use I have to tell you!” </p><p> </p><p>Luke glanced down forlornly at the battered blue cast covered in all of the memories Julie had carefully deposited there and she had to look away for a moment to blink away the tears that sprang into her eyes at the sight. She knew it was dumb to get this worked up over a cast, she <em> knew </em> that but it didn’t change the way she felt. Luke didn’t seem to be faring much better. He looked up and caught her eye and she forced a watery smile. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok,” She mouthed behind the doctor’s back. </p><p> </p><p>He frowned again  but nodded, holding his arm out towards the doctor who set about removing it. </p><p> </p><p>In the end the whole process only took about five minutes. </p><p> </p><p>“Now just because your cast is off doesn’t mean you’re indestructible,” The doctor warned. “It will still be more susceptible to breaking again for another month or so. You’ll need to be careful.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded grumpily, a frown seemingly permanently etched onto his face until they were back in his mom’s car and she reached over to pull what she had known for months as his bad hand into her lap. She linked their fingers together and smiled victoriously when he looked down at their entwined hands and grinned. </p><p> </p><p>“See?” She whispered, very aware that his mom was still only a few feet away. “This is nice.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” He agreed, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. “This is nice.” </p><p> </p><p>And despite the uncertainty surrounding both her ability to get home and his future as a musician there were a lot of things over those few blissful weeks that were nice. They had given up the pretense of her sleeping in the loft, curling around each other every night, just enjoying the closeness that could only come when there were no more secrets hovering between them.  She told him about her family and Flynn and even Carrie as they hid under a blanket, pressed close together as she weaved images of her life in 2020 for him. He asked all the right questions, teasing out all of her best stories and holding her just a little bit tighter whenever they included her mom. </p><p> </p><p>Willie didn’t turn up and she told herself she wasn’t counting the days since the jolts, since he had said he would try to help her get home. </p><p> </p><p>Some days she really didn’t think about it at all. </p><p> </p><p>She was in the middle of one such day when it happened. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the guys were at school and Julie and Luke had just finished writing a killer bridge for the latest song they wrote together. She had suggested they walk down to the beach in the afternoon and Luke had quickly agreed. He had been so enthusiastic in fact that he had jogged a few steps ahead of her, crossing the threshold of Wonderland’s doorway chattering away about a tweak he thought they should make  to the chorus of that song when her sudden silence had seemed to sink in. He turned to look for her and the smile slid off of his face as he saw what Julie had seen. </p><p> </p><p>Just inside the garage, right there on the ground was a hole. A hole that was perfectly round, impossibly black and gave off a strange heavy feeling. </p><p> </p><p>Like waiting for your ears to pop on a plane. </p><p> </p><p>Like diving into the deep end of the pool. </p><p> </p><p>Julie stared at it for another long moment before jerking her head up and meeting Luke’s gaze across the hole that now divided them. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke…” She said helplessly, tears instantly stinging at her eyes as she desperately blinked them away so she could see him clearly. So she could burn the image of his face into her mind. She wanted to see his face when she closed her eyes. She wanted to remember everything. She didn’t want to forget anything. She didn’t want...she didn’t want to leave him.</p><p> </p><p>But she knew she had to. </p><p> </p><p>“Julie,” He answered, his gaze darting from the hole between them to her face, taking in the tears that were now running down it freely. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” </p><p> </p><p>She shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have much time. Before...I don’t have much time.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke swallowed hard, nodded once. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you,” She said fiercely. “I love you so much. I always have.” </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too,” He said without hesitation, his voice steady despite the anguished expression he couldn’t quite hide. “I always will.” </p><p> </p><p>“Tell the guys I love them too,” She said hurriedly. “Look after each other.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded again, licked his lips nervously, clenched and unclenched a shaking fist. </p><p> </p><p>“I will. We will.” </p><p> </p><p>“And there’s something else…” She started before stopping to gather herself. “You can’t look for me in the future. It will be too hard. For all of us.” </p><p> </p><p>She expected him to protest to try to convince her that being in each other’s lives in any capacity would be better than nothing but he surprised her. </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” He agreed, his eyes impossibly sad and impossibly fond when they met hers across the divide. </p><p> </p><p>“The others won’t understand,” Julie said softly. “But I trust you. You’ll help them.” </p><p> </p><p>Luke managed a small smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Now you trust me, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>Julie forced herself to return his smile though hers pulls painfully at her lips as they seemed to fight against the upward motion. </p><p> </p><p>“I think you earned it,” She teased back, her voice hollow despite her upbeat words. </p><p> </p><p>The portal between them chose that moment to flicker and Julie wrenched her gaze back up to meet Luke’s with panicked urgency. </p><p> </p><p>“Luke, I…” </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” He interrupted, smiling again. </p><p> </p><p>This one felt genuine even though it was obviously born of pain and love in equal measure. </p><p> </p><p>They just stared at each other for one long moment, drinking in the sight of each other as the portal between them flickered insistently. </p><p> </p><p>In the end, Luke was the one who spoke. </p><p> </p><p>“Be brave,” He told her firmly. “Like you always are.” </p><p> </p><p>And she was. </p><p> </p><p>Despite everything. </p><p> </p><p>She knew that now. </p><p> </p><p>Knew that she always was. </p><p> </p><p>So she sat down at the edge of the hole, dangling first one leg than the other inside.</p><p> </p><p>She looked back up at Luke once more...memorized as best she could... then forced herself to push off of the edge until the utter blackness was all that she knew. </p><p> </p><p>And then…</p><p> </p><p>She fell.</p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One more chapter and a long epilogue to go. Have faith. 💜</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Home (again)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So. What was supposed to be one chapter has become three. Oops. So here we are, chapter 1/3 of I will be posting today. There will be a gap between me posting this one and the other two as I work on editing them but they will be up soon.</p><p>Enjoy 💜</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She fell, and she fell and she fell.</p><p>Julie fell for so long she began to fear she would never stop falling. She fell, and she fell and she fell and all the way the nothingness pressed in around her, this time it’s disorienting blankness cradling her like a familiar friend. It wasn’t a feeling she could ever get used to,  the way the nothing seemed to detach her from her own sense of being, but it was no longer new. She was falling but she wasn’t going <em> down </em> exactly. She was traveling in all directions at once. She had just jumped in. She had been falling for years. She didn’t exist. </p><p>She tried to keep her destination in her mind, repeating it like a mantra.</p><p>
  <em>Home. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Home.  </em>
</p><p>She wasn’t sure what the word even meant anymore. How could a girl who didn’t exist have a home?</p><p>Faces flitted across her vision briefly, flickering like photos on an old projector. </p><p>Boys loading a van. </p><p>Someone tucking her in. </p><p>A reluctant hug. </p><p>A piggyback ride. </p><p>A stolen beanie. </p><p>Someone almost dropping her. </p><p>A face an inch away from hers, a blanket shutting out the world around them. </p><p>Something told her that wasn’t what she was supposed to be thinking about. The images she could barely understand in her state of nothingness definitely brought a feeling of <em> home </em> but was it the right one? </p><p>Soon the sensation of falling (was she falling, was there a she) lulled her to the edge of sleep. Her last thought before it pulled her under completely was <em> home </em>.</p><p>Julie woke with a gasp, her body launching to a sitting position as she clutched at her chest. Her heart was beating erratically and her breathing was labored as though she had just run a marathon.  Only she clearly hadn’t done any such thing. She was in bed.</p><p>Her first wild instinct was to call for Luke, his presence by her side having become a given whenever a nightmare tore her from her sleep bathed in fear and sweat.. She shouted his name once but it died in her throat before she could repeat the call for help. She wasn’t in Wonderland and the realization of that fact hit her like a bucket of icy water, sending a shiver down her spine and a lump to her throat. The next realization sent a far deeper feeling of dread coursing through her though. It wasn’t just that she wasn’t in her house in 1995. </p><p>She wasn’t in her house at all. </p><p>The bed with its grey sheets was as unfamiliar as the pale blue walls and the window that showed the completely wrong view. She didn’t have time to examine it any further before the door was bursting open and a familiar face was pushing in, eyes bright with worry. </p><p>“Dad!” Julie cried, feet tangling in the sheets as she tumbled out of bed and across the room to fall into his arms. </p><p>“Julie!” He exclaimed as he caught her and she wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>He tried to push her back so that he could examine her face but she clung to him stubbornly, tears burning at her eyes as she breathed him in. </p><p>“You’re scaring me,” He insisted, pushing her back slightly again, this time with more success. “I heard you yell. Did you have another nightmare?” </p><p>Julie blinked up at him, just taking in the face she had missed so much. He looked exactly like she remembered, his kind eyes searching hers for answers. He was worried about her, very worried but...not as worried as he should have been. Not as worried as he would be if she had been missing for months. Had she come back to the same time that she left? But where were they? Had things changed? And if they had changed...how much had changed? She was filled with a rush of treacherous hope. Could...could she have changed things enough to save her mom?</p><p>She sucked in a shaky breath and worried at her lip with her teeth. She wasn’t sure she would be able to find her voice to answer him but eventually she managed it. </p><p>“I’m fine,” She got out, hoping the shakiness of her words would be attributed to her nightmare and nothing else. “Is...is Mom up yet?”</p><p>She asked the blunt question and let it linger in the air between them, her hope surging and blossoming for the long moment it took for her father’s face to shift into a deep frown. Then that hope crumpled and faded away like a wilted flower. </p><p>Like a ghost. </p><p>“Julie…” Her dad’s voice was pained as he reached up to rest a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Mom’s gone. It’s been a year.” </p><p>She had known it was a long shot, that putting her hope in encouraging Rose to go to the doctor more and the butterfly effect was a dangerous game to play. She had known that at the end of the day all of the time she spent with Rose in the past was a gift, extra time with her mom that she never should have had in the first place. </p><p>She knew all of that. </p><p>It didn’t make it any easier to accept that her mom was still gone. </p><p>“I know that,” She finally answered her dad, her eyes dropping to the unfamiliar carpet. “I do. I know that. It’s just sometimes when I first wake up...I forget for a minute.” </p><p>That was true enough. </p><p>Her dad squeezed her shoulder and Julie forced her eyes back up to meet his. She stepped back and smiled, the action hollow but filled with her determination to convince him that she was ok. </p><p>“Um, Dad, speaking of things it’s hard to remember when I first wake up...when did we move here again? After Mom...just, after Mom?” </p><p>He frowned again and reached up to place the back of his hand against Julie’s forehead. </p><p>“Are you sure you’re ok? We didn’t move. We talked about it and decided we wanted to stay in the house where all our memories of Mom were.” </p><p>Julie tried not to visibly reel from this information. They hadn’t moved. This unfamiliar house was where this version of her family had always lived. She had always known there was a possibility that her time in the past had changed things. She had just tried to focus on the good ones for her own sanity. She hadn’t spent much time considering anything else. </p><p>“Right, right, yeah, of course,” Julie said, nodding in a slightly frantic manner as she tried to adjust to what she had just learned. </p><p>“Maybe we should make another appointment with Dr. Turner,” Her dad ventured, still eying her worriedly.</p><p>“No!” Julie snapped before reigning in her voice and trying again. “No, really, Dad, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep much last night and I had a nightmare. I was still half asleep so my mind wandered. It wandered back and I’m good.” </p><p>He seemed like he wanted to press the subject but finally he sighed and nodded. </p><p>“Alright, but you know you can talk to me right?”</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” She assured him, leaning forward to indulge in her desire to hug him again. </p><p>He barely had time to return the gesture before a voice was interrupting from the doorway. </p><p>“We’re going to be late to my game!” </p><p>“Carlos!” Julie said with a laugh, releasing her dad only to pull her little brother into a fierce hug. </p><p>“Ugh, let me go, weirdo,” He protested “Dad, she’s being weird again.” </p><p>“I just love you,” She insisted. </p><p>“Dad, save me,” Carlos begged, earning him a laugh from their father. </p><p>“Much as I love to see you two like this, we are going to be late,” He said as Julie pulled back, leaving Carlos to brush himself off as though he was covered in her cooties. “We’ll be back in a few hours. Maybe you should get a little more sleep, huh?”<br/><br/></p><p>She nodded. </p><p>“I love you, Dad.” </p><p>He smiled and reached out to ruffle her hair gently. </p><p>“I love you too.” </p><p>And then he was leading Carlos out of what was apparently her room and she was alone again. </p><p>She did a slow circuit around the unfamiliar space and found that there were a lot of things that were <em> almost </em>familiar. The closet was full of clothes that fit her style but there wasn’t a single item she could be sure she had owned before. There was a photo of her with her mom on the dresser but they weren’t sitting among flowers, they were riding a carousel. Her dream box looked largely unchanged but a quick glance inside showed snippets of poems she didn’t remember writing. And there on her bookshelf, wedged between her copies of Harry Potter and a James Patterson book she had borrowed from her dad and never read, was a tattered, paperback copy of Alice in Wonderland. </p><p>That was new to her bookshelf  and yet...it looked familiar. </p><p>It looked like Bobby’s copy. </p><p>She almost tripped in her haste to pull it from the shelf, the ripped and faded cover threatening to crumble under her shaking fingers. She opened it carefully and there on the first page in careful block letters Bobby’s name announced itself like an old friend. She traced over the faded ink with one finger, fighting down the rush of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. How was it there? She flipped gently through the pages and a piece of folded paper fluttered gently to the ground. She reached down to pick it up and unfold it, freezing when she saw the familiar looping script that covered the page. </p><p>It was her mom’s handwriting. </p><p>Julie sank weakly back onto the edge of her bed and scanned the words her mother had left for her. </p><p>
  <em> Dear Julie,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I used to pride myself on being a person who always knew what to say. If it wasn’t always the right thing at least it was something memorable. I have to admit, I’m struggling with this one. Let’s start with the obvious. I love you. I’ve loved you since the day your dad and I found out you existed. We were so excited, Julie. It was the best day of my life. Only it turns out I loved you before that. I won’t pretend to understand everything that happened. All I know is I named you after a girl I knew briefly but felt connected to in a way I couldn’t explain. A girl with music in her soul and love in her heart. And when you grew up you were amazing in so many ways...your spirit, and your talent and your kindness...and most amazing of all by some miracle you were that girl I met so long ago. It’s impossible, I know. But want to know a secret? All the best things are. So I watched you grow and I loved you even more than I thought possible and I hoped that someday time would match up and we could talk about the adventures you’ve been on. It doesn’t look like things are going to work out that way. So I’m leaving you this note in case we miss each other. Two of your boys came to see me back then, after you left. Luke returned the clothes you borrowed, they’re in my trunk for you now. Bobby gave me this book. He said it reminded him of you and you would want me to have it. I think he really wanted you to have it, sweetheart. I kept it for you. They really loved you, those boys of yours, do you know that? Don’t forget it. And don’t forget how much I love you, Julie. Every version of you there ever was. Every version there ever will be. I know you’ll miss me, baby, just like you’ll miss them. But that’s good. That just means you’ve loved and been loved and that’s never a waste. They told me if I ever saw you again to tell you they left you something in Wonderland. Go and find it, find your way to say goodbye. But don’t spend too much time looking back, not for them and not for me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You have so much ahead of you, a whole world you’re going to create for yourself.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You can do it, Julie.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Mom  </em>
</p><p>Julie choked back a sob and clutched the paper to her chest, its thin surface a poor substitute for the warm body she wanted so badly to be holding. She was home. She had saved the boys and they were ok and she was ok and she was home. But she felt so, so alone. Julie turned to look at her nightstand, blinking back tears to search its surface. There. A cell phone, hers apparently, though it was a different color than the one she had left behind in the past. She reached out to grab it, opening her contacts and praying to whoever was listening that she would find the name she needed to be there. </p><p>
  <em> Flynn </em>
</p><p>There it was. </p><p>Julie released a watery sigh of relief as she thumbed open the contact and fired off a text message. </p><p>
  <em> 911 </em>
</p><p>Only a few seconds passed before a slight vibration announced that a message had been sent back in return. </p><p>
  <em> I’m on my way  </em>
</p><p>Julie wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Flynn came flying into her room, quickly taking in her friend’s distraught state and sinking down on the bed beside her to pull her into a tight hug. All she knew was she cried on Flynn’s shoulder for several long minutes, clutching at the girl she had been so afraid wouldn’t know her in this new life she had woken up to. Eventually her tears dried up and Flynn pulled back, examining her face with concern. </p><p>“Jules, what’s wrong? Is it your mom?”</p><p>“No,” Julie said quickly before backpedalling slightly. “Well, sort of but not really. Flynn, I have to tell you something.” </p><p>“Ok,” Flynn sat back expectantly. </p><p>“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” Julie sighed. </p><p>“I won’t,” Flynn insisted. </p><p>“You definitely will,” Julie told her firmly. “But I have to tell you anyway, so just listen to the whole thing before you say anything, ok?” </p><p>Flynn frowned but nodded and waited for Julie to speak. </p><p>And Julie did speak, a lot. She talked and talked, starting with playing Sunset Curve’s demo in what had been her garage at the time and continuing until she made it to the discovery of her mom’s note. Flynn’s eyes grew progressively bigger as Julie told her story, but she was true to her word and didn’t interrupt. When Julie finally finished she eyed the other girl cautiously. </p><p>“So...what do you think?”</p><p>“Honestly?” Flynn tilted her head. “I think I need to text your dad and say I’m worried about you.” </p><p>Julie groaned and rolled her eyes. </p><p>“I knew it.” </p><p>“Look, I’m trying, Jules! But you have to admit this sounds like you’ve suffered some kind of mental break.” </p><p>“Here, read this.” <br/><br/>Julie shoved the note from her mom into Flynn’s hands. Flynn frowned but obediently started to read, her eyebrows raising as she went. When she finished she handed it back to Julie slowly. </p><p>“See! That’s my mom’s handwriting, you know it is. I’m telling you the truth.” </p><p>“You time traveled to the past,” Flynn said finally, drawing her words out like each and every one of them was physically painful to her. “To save your ghost band who died from eating rancid hotdogs in a random alley.” </p><p>Julie nodded, cringing as she heard the unbelievable truth repeated back to her. </p><p>Flynn exhaled harshly and shook her head. </p><p>“Maybe I’m crazy too.” </p><p>“Does that mean you believe me?” Julie asked hopefully. </p><p>Flynn hesitated for another second before sighing and letting out a half delirious chuckle. </p><p>“Yeah, Jules. I believe you.” </p><p>Julie grinned and pulled her into a grateful hug, clutching her friend to her tight enough to force Flynn to wriggle out of her grip. </p><p>“Ok, ok, you’re welcome, yes, I am the best friend ever. Now what did you say the name of these ghost boys’ band was back in 95?” </p><p>“Why?” Julie asked. </p><p>“So we can google them of course,” Flynn replied as though it should have been obvious. “I get why you can’t reach out to them, that would be super weird and awkward for everyone. But aren’t you curious to know what happened to them?”</p><p>Julie hesitated as she considered Flynn’s suggestion. Surely it was a bad idea to poke at that scab so soon after she had left them? She could barely let her mind land on their names and faces without a pain reminiscent of Caleb’s jolts crashing through her. She had meant what she said to Luke. Seeking each other out could only lead to even more heartache. But... if she was being truly honest with herself there was no way that she was going to make it the rest of her life without trying to find out where they had ended up. Maybe it was better to get it over with now. Besides if all had gone according to plan they would be a big deal in the music industry by this point. Better to be confronted with them now, with her mom’s words still echoing in her mind and Flynn nearby for support, than to stumble across a billboard with their faces on it or something later. </p><p>“Sunset Curve,” She informed Flynn who was waiting with her thumbs already poised over her phone. </p><p>“That does sound vaguely familiar,” Flynn muttered as she typed in their search. “Got something.” </p><p>She tapped a link and passed her phone over to Julie, leaning over so she could read over her shoulder. Julie accepted the phone with shaking fingers, looking down to see a photo taken around the time she had known the boys, all four of them posing for the camera and clearly trying to look cool. Julie couldn’t help the small smile that graced her lips when she saw them and the way her heart clenched at the sight. Then the headline caught her attention and her smile faded away. </p><p>
  <b> <em>Sunset Curve: A Hollywood Memory </em> </b>
</p><p>She quickly scanned the rest of the article afraid to find out what it said but more afraid not to know. </p><p>
  <em> 1995 was supposed to be Sunset Curve’s year. They were ruling the Hollywood club scene, had a sold out showcase at the Orpheum, and rumor has it they had an offer on the table from Red Rose Records. All signs pointed to them being the next big thing. Instead they’re a band you had probably never heard of a year ago.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The story of their short career as a band and the following disbandment is unremarkable. They released one full length album independently and supported it with a west coast tour. Lackluster sales and the high costs associated with touring without the support of a label led to the band going their separate ways a year after the release of their oddly prescient album “Songs to remember us by”.  What they did after the band dissolved was also unworthy of notice by most even if their story did take some interesting turns to those in the know. Robert Wilson left for college and eventually became a therapist, following in the footsteps of his parents. Reggie Peters attended film school, working as a production assistant on a series of tv shows and films before eventually getting his big break as a junior producer on the Star Wars sequels. Alex Mercer founded a community art program where teens suffering from mental illness could learn to play various musical instruments as a form of therapy.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What makes Sunset Curve remarkable is of course the fourth former member, Luke Patterson. Patterson has gone on to have one of the most successful and storied solo rock careers since Bruce Springsteen, his perennial popularity with both the older generation and today’s twenty somethings guaranteeing his name will continue to be in every serious music conversation for years to come. His popularity is so much in fact that fans hungry for more have turned to his past looking for more content, a copy of Sunset Curve’s one album being uploaded to Youtube by a fan and setting off a new craze for his old material.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Though he initially seemed uncomfortable when asked about his previous band, Patterson eventually seemed to embrace the nostalgia craze, penning an autobiography that focuses heavily on his early years in the LA club scene. The book is expected to debut high on the New York Times Bestsellers List and… </em>
</p><p>Julie lowered the phone abruptly, releasing it absentmindedly when Flynn tugged it back to finish reading. </p><p>They hadn’t stayed together, at least not as a band. Less than two years after she left them Sunset Curve was gone. She couldn’t bring herself to be entirely surprised when Queenie had all but warned her what happened to bands that went against her dad. It would have been naive to think that Dec wouldn’t have followed through on his unspoken threats to blacklist them. She could picture the boys working so hard and getting nowhere anyway and it hurt. </p><p>It wasn’t supposed to be like this. </p><p>“Wait...you’re telling me that this Luke you fell in love with was <em> Luke Patterson </em>?” Flynn interrupted her thoughts with a high pitched question, her words dripping with disbelief. “Super rich, super popular, epic rockstar Luke Patterson?”</p><p>Julie shrugged, still trying to process everything she had learned in the last few minutes. Of course Luke would be the one who would never give up. The others loved it but not the way that he did. And she wasn’t surprised that his talent had risen above all of the obstacles thrown in his way. She was happy for him. She was proud of him. </p><p>But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. </p><p>“This is too much,” Flynn muttered to herself. “He’s got like a ton of Grammy’s Julie. He has this crazy mansion and like 500 rare guitars and he married a supermodel...twice!!” </p><p>Flynn cringed and glanced over at Julie, clearly not having meant to throw in that last detail.</p><p>“If it helps he also got divorced twice,” Flynn offered lamely. </p><p>Julie just shook her head and offered what she hoped Flynn could understand was a sincere if pained smile. </p><p>“It’s been 25 years for him, Flynn. I’m glad he wasn’t alone the whole time.”</p><p>“Jules…” Flynn said slowly, her expression shifting into one that clearly showed her racing thoughts. “Do you realize that Luke Patterson isn’t just some famous musician...he’s your <em> favorite </em>musician.” </p><p>Julie didn’t know what to make of that information. How could that be? Maybe her mom had played his cds around the house when Julie was little, back before she realized that something strange had gone on, just enjoying the fact that she had once known him before he got famous. Maybe Julie just enjoyed his music completely randomly. She knew he was talented enough that it wasn’t out of the question. </p><p>“He is?” She asked weakly. </p><p>“Yeah! You never shut up about him, Jules. His stuff is good but it’s not really my thing. Oh wait!” </p><p>Flynn jumped up and immediately knelt down, rooting around under Julie’s bed for something. Her face lit up in triumph when she found whatever she was looking for, pulling out a book before rejoining Julie on the bed. </p><p>“Here. I was saving this for your birthday but it seems like you should have it now.” </p><p>“You hid my birthday present under my own bed?” Julie asked incredulously. </p><p>Flynn shrugged as she handed over the book. </p><p>“Let’s be honest, it’s the one place you would never look.” </p><p>Julie couldn’t argue with that. </p><p>She looked down and couldn’t help the way her heart leapt to her throat when she saw what Flynn had given her. It was Luke’s book. He stared up at her from the cover, much older but still so obviously <em> Luke </em> that her entire body ached with the painful familiarity. His hair was shorter now, no longer flipping up at the ends from being perpetually stuffed under an orange beanie. His jaw was now covered in scruff as though he hadn’t shaved for a week and the guitar he held wasn’t one she recognized. But he was still wearing a t-shirt with cutoff sleeves, and the way he stood was just the same, and the grin...that was all Luke. Her Luke. </p><p>She flipped the book open, turning to the middle section where there were a few pages dedicated to photographs. She couldn’t help the small noise of equal parts pain and joy that escaped when she saw that there were several of Sunset Curve, all of her boys grinning up at her from the candid shots scattered across the pages. </p><p>“I can’t believe Bobby isn’t a musician,” She observed absentmindedly. “No Trevor Wilson. Carrie’s life must be so different.” </p><p>Flynn frowned. </p><p>“Who’s Carrie?”</p><p>Julie felt dread settle over like a heavy blanket, smothering her under its weight. </p><p>“Carrie Wilson? My former friend and the current meanest yet most popular girl in school?”</p><p>Flynn showed no sign of recognition at this description and Julie felt any hope that she was wrong drain out of  her in a rush. </p><p>“I don’t know anyone named, Carrie, Jules.” </p><p>Julie couldn’t fully process the truth of that fact. If Bobby and Queenie never got back together...if Carrie was never born…</p><p>It wasn’t supposed to be like this.</p><p>She had robbed Carrie of her whole life. Her existence. She hadn’t done it on purpose but she had been the one to change things. She had been the one who couldn’t live with the hand the boys had been dealt. But could she live with this? </p><p>She forced herself to turn back to the book, blinking back a few tears that threatened to escape as she did so. </p><p>She had to hold it together. </p><p>She had to live with what she’d done, with the way the world was now.</p><p>She didn’t have the power to change it. </p><p>There were lots of other people featured in photos with Luke as she turned further, people she didn’t recognize, but nothing caught her eye until the final page of the photo section. It was a collage, at least 20 different pictures spliced together to form a chaotic window into Luke’s life and career. There were so many people and things she didn’t recognize but her eyes went instantly to the one photo she knew all too well. It was a polaroid. A girl wearing a stolen beanie, her lips pressed to Luke’s cheek as he took the picture. There was a little black bar superimposed over most of her face, her curls her only identifying feature. But she would know that picture anywhere. </p><p>“Jules?” Flynn asked worriedly. </p><p>“That’s me,” Julie whispered, pointing at the picture in question with a shaking hand. </p><p>Flynn’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. </p><p>“No way. I mean now that you say that I can totally see it but...oh my God. You really time traveled to the past.” </p><p>“You know I did!” Julie protested, shutting the book with a snap before she could completely breakdown, staring wistfully at the memories it contained. </p><p>“Yeah, but now I <em> know </em> know,” Flynn answered. “Sorry, this is just a lot.” </p><p>Julie nodded. That was the understatement of the century. </p><p>“Tell me about it.” </p><p>Flynn reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. </p><p>“What are you going to do now?”</p><p>Julie sucked in a deep breath allowing herself to hold it for a moment before finally exhaling and answering her friend. </p><p>“What my mom told me to do. I’m going to go find what they left me and find a way to say goodbye.” </p><p>“Do you want me to come with you?” Flynn asked softly. </p><p>Julie managed a small, grateful smile for her friend. </p><p>“Thanks, but I think I have to do this on my own.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Flynn is still here, thank goodness. Carrie on the other hand...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. I will remember that</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part 2/3 for today. </p><p>I'm really excited for this one. It includes the rest of the song (not by me) that Julie started writing earlier which is actually Blink (One Million Miles) from the movie Hearts Beat Loud. If you haven't listened to it yet...why?? Life changing honestly. This chapter also includes part of a poem that Luke writes. This is also not by me. It is Find Me by Forest Blakk. I did something a little special for this part. If it works *knock on wood* I have embedded a video I made set to that poem/spoken word/song. It represents Luke remembering while he writes it and Julie reading it and visiting the garage various times in 2020. I would suggest watching it before finishing the chapter but of course that is up to you. I worked so hard on it and watching it back makes me emotional because as we have established I am way too invested in my own story. Ok, onward! Part 3 coming soon. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Julie had found herself outside of her house under a lot of different circumstances. She had traced this path so many times growing up, each step as familiar to her as any place in the entire world. She had approached it as a stranger knowing that Bobby lived there, knowing that the world she would find in its garage would be both familiar and disorienting at the same time. But she had never walked up to the front door like this, a girl stranded in a reality where it had never belonged to her at all. Julie climbed the steps to the porch and hesitated, her heart pounding in her chest. She remembered waiting for Luke’s parents to open their front door, a 25 year old apology folded safely in her back pocket. She remembered accosting Reggie’s mom on his behalf, holding Luke’s hand when his Dad opened the door…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie closed her eyes briefly forcing her runaway thoughts back under her control. She didn’t even know what she was going to say to whoever opened the door. She just knew that she had to convince them to let her into her...their garage. She had to, so she would. It was as simple as that. She opened her eyes and reached out to press the doorbell before she could think better of it. A few long seconds passed before the door swung open and a short woman with dark hair streaked with grey and oversized glasses appeared in the doorway, a curious smile on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie froze. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised she recognized the woman who had answered the door but she was. Jackie. Bobby’s mom. She was older but it was definitely her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made sense in a way. She had always wondered if there was a connection between Bobby and her mom meeting in 1995 and her family ending up living in his old house. It seemed likely even if she couldn’t put her finger on what exactly that connection might be. But in this timeline Luke would have made sure none of them kept up a connection with Rose so they didn’t run into Julie later. Bobby and Queenie didn’t get back together. Bobby never made it big, never bought his parent’s a fancy new house. Of course there was a possibility that they never left. And here she was, waiting for Julie to say something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you?” Jackie asked kindly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Julie said, doing her best to keep her face friendly and neutral. “My name’s...Rose. This is going to sound really strange but a long time ago my mom was friends with your son. She was in his band for a little bit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackie frowned for a moment before recognition seemed to steal over her expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julie? Your mom was Julie? Oh my, now that you mention it you do look just like her!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie forced a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get that a lot. Anyway...she actually...she passed away last year” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackie’s eyes filled with sympathy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, dear. I believe she was only in his life for a short time but Bobby always spoke of her fondly long after she moved away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Julie swallowed hard before forcing herself to continue. “So um, I was actually wondering if there was any chance I could take a look around your garage? It’s just she always talked about how she spent the best times of her life out there and...I just thought it might help me feel closer to her if I saw it for myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackie’s eyes somehow managed to soften even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, sweetheart. Anytime. Come over and let yourself in any time you like. We usually don’t bother locking it but if you ever need it the spare key is in the…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The frog?” Julie interrupted with a fond smile, nodding down at the stone frog that still sat next to the bottom porch step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jackie shook her head and chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I suppose it’s a pretty obvious hiding spot but it’s done alright by us for...oh, I don’t even want to think about how many years. Head on over to the garage and let me know if you need anything.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thank you,” Julie said gratefully, waiting until Jackie had retreated back inside to head towards the garage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stood outside of its familiar doors, trying to gather the strength to pull them open. It felt like it was too soon. It felt like it was too late. But either way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie pulled the doors open and lingered in the doorway for a moment, forcing herself to take a deep breath to steady herself as she looked inside. It was so familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. The shelves of plants and the chairs hanging from the ceiling were missing from her first experience of the space and the guitars and old pizza boxes were missing from her more recent memories. Some things were the same though. The couch. The chairs. And there in the back...a piano. She knew it wasn’t her mom’s piano, that she had never actually sat on that bench and played those keys. She didn’t know if Bobby’s dad had unexpectedly taken up the piano again or if there was some other explanation for the instrument’s presence. The only thing she knew was that the sight of it was enough to leave her feeling immediately choked with emotion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie forced herself to step over the threshold, flipping on the light and pausing for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys?” She said softly to thin air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt more than a little stupid. Of course there was no response. But there had been part of her...a small, fragile part of her...that had hoped that somehow they would be able to hear her through all of the time stretching out between them. Crazier things had happened. But not this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie crossed the room and let her fingers drag gently along the top of the piano, tracing the outline of so many memories along the way. She sank down onto the bench cautiously, reaching out to press down on a key and let a single note ring out into the silence. Someone had been tuning the piano anyway. She shifted to another key then another, a melody making itself known without her permission until she realized it was Perfect Harmony and yanked her finger back as though it had been burned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t ready to play again. Part of her felt as though she never would be but she pushed it down determinedly. The biggest way she could disrespect the legacy of both her mom and the guys was to let her gift go to waste. Still. It hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie stood abruptly and looked around the room again. She was here to look for something the guys had left for her. Her eyes landed on the ladder leading up to the loft and tilted her head back until she could see the underside of its surface. If they were going to leave her something in Wonderland surely it would be in the part that they had always known as hers…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie climbed up the ladder slowly, greeted with piles of boxes stacked neatly throughout the small space. She eased herself up and wound her way through the stacks, pausing to read the labels scribbled on them in sharpie. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Baby Clothes </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Toys </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Records </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t see anything particularly promising until something purple caught her eye. Shoving aside the larger boxes in the back corner, Julie reached down to pick up the purple box, nose wrinkling as dust flew off of it. There, drawn messily in two quick strokes, was a heart. The same heart she could picture so clearly where Luke scrawled it on his cast to represent their moment at the Orpheum. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” She said a little dumbly, reaching out to trace the heart while hers clenched painfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She clutched the box to her chest and backed carefully down the ladder to the ground level, sitting cross legged in the middle of the floor with the box sitting just in front of her. She reached out with shaking hands and removed the lid, setting it aside as she peered down to see what was inside the box. The very first item had her slapping a hand over her mouth in an effort to contain the sob that immediately wanted to escape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Teddy Luke, his shirt and fur a little discolored and one eye hanging on slightly loosely as though someone had spent many years carrying him around, but still a beautiful sight to Julie’s eyes. She grabbed for him quickly, pulling the bear into a one sided hug, a few tears escaping and splashing onto its head. Keeping the stuffed animal tightly against her, she reached back into the box with her free hand to pull out the other items in the box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her old cell phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A copy of Sunset Curve’s full length cd that she had never gotten to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pile of polaroids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie smiled through a fresh bout of tears as she picked up the photos. There were the individual shots she had taken with Bobby, Alex and Reggie as well as the series of pictures Rose had taken of her and Luke. The only one that she had been there for that was missing was the one of her and Luke that he had included in his book. As much as she wished she had it in her hands there was a large part of her that was glad that Luke had kept it. She had meant what she said. There was no good ending to one of them seeking her out but that didn’t mean she wanted to be forgotten. But there were more photos in the box, ones she had never seen before. The guys had clearly bought more film for the camera, taking photos for her of candid moments in the garage, on a stage clutching their instruments proudly, a series she suspected Reggie had taken of Bobby and Luke sleeping practically on top of each other in the back of Beatrice. Each one was a tiny window into their lives without her and though those glimpses hurt they also healed. Every captured smile was a small balm to the wounds that came with leaving them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their lives hadn’t worked out how she had hoped they would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there had been happiness too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie set aside the photos and reached in again pulling out a piece of paper which turned out to be a poster for one of their shows. She was glad to have it but she could hardly process what it said because her eyes had been caught by the final item in the box which had been hidden until now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was small, only a few inches tall, and contained in a plastic container. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sob that Julie had been pushing down ever since she found the box erupted out of her, her vision blurring for a moment before she was able to reach in and lift out the final item. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A purple arcade ring from a rigged claw machine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hastily lifted the lid off of the plastic container and let the cheap, purple ring tumble into her palm. She slid it onto one of her fingers and glanced up at the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry I couldn’t get you that ring.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The point is I’ll get it for you someday.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You finally did it,” She said out loud through her tears. “Why are you so impossibly stubborn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t there. She couldn’t even pretend to believe he was in some version of heaven where he might hear her words. He was alive and well and living his dream and that was a good thing even if it meant she couldn’t have him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We can’t...we can’t have them. We can only try to save them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Willie had been right from the start. And she had. She had saved them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That had to be enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie found herself coming back to the garage frequently over the next several months. She wasn’t sure it was healthy but she also wasn’t sure she had it in her </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to go, at least not yet. Sometimes she rooted around in the boxes in the loft, feeling a little bad for being nosy but finding it all worth it when she found a photo album filled to the brim with pictures of the guys in middle school. Sometimes she just laid on the couch and stared up at the ceiling thinking about everything that had happened, sometimes she curled up in one of the chairs and tried not to think about anything at all. Eventually she brought Luke’s book and started to read it a little bit at a time, in tiny chunks before the emotions inevitably became too much. Eventually it became easier though. She even found herself laughing and smiling along at some of the anecdotes Luke recounted, managing to enjoy slipping into his life even if it was only through the pages of a book. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she made it to the end of the book her heart stuttered in her chest, the closest she’d ever come to actually understanding what they meant when they said your heart could skip a beat. Because reproduced there was a page from what looked to be the booklet from the Sunset Curve cd. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to listen to it yet let alone pull out the booklet and look through it. But here was a page from it and what at first glance appeared to be song lyrics. The caption under the photo however labeled it </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Find Me” poem featured in album notes for “Songs to remember us by”. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke had written a poem? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie’s eyes scanned the first few lines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was once told that walking through</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A doorway could cause someone to forget</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even the most precious memories they had</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Memories of good</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Memories of bad</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Memories of love and of loss</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All tucked away neatly</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stored like the worn out blankets</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie had to wrench her eyes away from the page for a moment to gather herself. Doorways. Why was it always doorways? Doorways between the present and the past and the past and the future. Doorways between Wonderland and the rest of the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doorways between her and the people she loved the most. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She read the rest of the poem and cried for the better part of an hour, the tears feeling more like a release than a drain. She missed him. She loved him. She missed and loved all of them. But her mom was right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to live. She had wanted that for them. Now she had to want that for herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to be brave. </span>
</p><p>
  <iframe></iframe>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Arggh,” Luke let out an annoyed groan as he scribbled out the line he had just written. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The page was full of almost as many harsh ink marks representing his frustration as there were lyrics worth saving. He had thought he was finally getting somewhere. After Julie left he hadn’t been able to write anything at all for weeks, hadn’t even been able to look at his notebook without a sick feeling taking root inside of him. But he had known that he couldn’t let that feeling win, not forever, not when Julie would have been the first one hovering over his shoulder and pushing him to get back to his music. Not when he had woken up one day from a dream that almost didn’t feel like a dream at all, a dream where he had met Julie as a ghost right there in the garage. He knew he was probably just projecting what Julie had told him but it had felt like something half remembered but real. It had felt like a memory. There was the fact that the very first time the guys had managed to drag him to the arcade after they lost Julie that he had won the ring he had tried to get her for months, the claw of the game wrapping around it like it was nothing. Then there had been the time when the band was rehearsing, Alex insisting that they needed to get back into the groove with each other even if they didn’t have much material worth rehearsing yet. He could have sworn he heard Julie’s voice, just for a second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he was probably going crazy, he knew that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it also felt the universe was sending him signs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he had forced himself to write, to work on new songs both for himself and for the guys who needed to know that he wasn’t giving up on Sunset Curve. And by this point he had a whole pile of songs that he was really excited about, songs that he could already see in his mind reshaping to form the album they were always meant to make. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this was different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was trying to write a song for Julie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted so desperately to capture how she made him feel, how much their time together was going to be with him forever, to pour all of that into a song so he could make sense of it for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And if he was being honest it wasn’t lost on him that this was one of the only ways he could speak to her now. She might hear it someday. It wasn’t an opportunity that he could waste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he wouldn’t if he could just get his brain to cooperate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arggh!” He groaned again, tilting his head back to stare angrily at the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going that well, huh?” Bobby asked dryly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Luke shot back but there was no heat to it. “I thought I was getting somewhere with the lyrics but...I don’t know, dude. I can’t hear the music. That’s never happened to me before.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it’s not a song,” Bobby shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke eyed his friend skeptically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else would it be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it’s a poem,” Bobby suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never written a poem in my life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crazier things have happened,” Bobby pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke couldn’t argue with that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped his gaze back to the paper in front of him a new sense of determination flowing through him. One way or the other he would get a message to Julie. He wasn’t giving up. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The next time Julie visited the garage she sat down at the piano, a notebook and a pen at her side and she finished the song she started while Luke slept on the last day before everything had changed. She thought it might be the best thing she ever wrote. She wished that he could hear it but even more than that she wished that someone, anyone could hear it the way she heard it in her head, belted from a stage with the magic that only flowed through her veins when a microphone was in her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why don’t you perform it at the variety show?” Flynn had demanded one day while they sat in Mrs. Harrison’s classroom after school, neither of them quite ready to head home. “It’s coming up next week, it’s perfect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie hesitated her fears and painful memories battling with the voice inside of her that was screaming out that she still belonged on the stage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I do!” Flynn insisted. “The song is killer, Jules. It’s a crime not to share that with people. It’s like cancelling Christmas and I love Christmas!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but laugh a little at her friend’s over dramatic antics even as she appreciated Flynn’s sentiment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t sound the way I hear it in my head,” Julie finally admitted a little sadly. “It was always supposed to have a band behind it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I hear someone needs a band?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie and Flynn both turned to see Nick standing in the doorway, that signature friendly smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nick,” Julie said unhelpfully. “I didn’t know you were there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came to grab my sheet music and I couldn’t help but overhear,” He said, dropping into the open chair next to Julie. “Look, I don’t want to pressure you but Flynn’s right. We’ve all been waiting for you to unleash that voice on us again, Julie. You don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be up on that stage with you...if you want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie could only smile at him gratefully, words escaping her for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Flynn broke in. “If you don’t see a place for a trumpet I play a mean tambourine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie looked back and forth between her friends a sense of overwhelming gratitude hitting her all at once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, guys,” She said simply, the words to truly explain what their support meant to her impossible to find in that moment. “Ok, let’s do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A week later she found herself on stage in the darkened gym, the sea of barely visible faces in the bleachers sending a quick pulse of fear through her. It wasn’t that she had stage fright exactly it was just that performing had never been something that she had done alone. First there had been her mom, if not on stage with her than always in the front row, beaming up at her as Julie sang words they had written together. Then there had been her boys, first as ghosts then as their human counterparts, restoring her confidence and filling her soul with reciprocal joy in a way she had never imagined possible. The idea of doing it alone…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she wasn’t alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was Nick, his electric guitar strapped around his neck off to one side. There was Flynn and her tambourine, hand on hip and ready to deliver a pep talk in front of the entire school if Julie tried to back out now. And somehow...somehow she felt as though her mom and her boys were with her too, impossible as that might be. It sounded incredibly cheesy but she was really starting to understand for the first time that they were all a part of her now, a part that would live in her soul forever. She was never alone because they always had each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was Julie Molina. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been Rose Molina’s daughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been Luke’s girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she was so much more than that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she could be brave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached down to touch the plastic ring she wore, rubbing the fake purple stone for good luck as her mom’s jacket sparkled in the spotlight that covered her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was ready. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded at her friends and started the percussion loop before beginning to play the opening chords of the song. Nick and Flynn came in soon after and Julie began to sing. She knew by the time they had reached the second verse that the audience was beginning to react, the emotion behind the lyrics and the passion in her voice pulling them to their feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We hid our hearts and mine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, we tried to find some quiet place</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Between us in those summer nights</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just wanna be with you this evening</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't wanna think about ever leaving</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna burn your memory in the back of my mind</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I see your face when I close my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moved through the chorus, by now up on her feet at the center of the stage with the mic clenched tightly in her hand. She poured all of heart into the words, begging for one more day and one more night with those she had left behind only to be passed by as they grew up without her. Nick leaned back, his fingers plucking out a screaming solo as Julie prepared to launch into the bridge. She tilted her head back and lifted the mic, her voice bordering on a melodic shout as she allowed all of the grit that came with true emotion to pour into her words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One million miles away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I still reach out for your love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No matter how far away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'd still reach out, reach out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For your love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All those things we said are written in our hearts</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No matter how close we get we're still far apart</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick’s guitar playing faded to almost nothing and Flynn silenced her tambourine as Julie made her way back to the keyboard for the outro. She played the last few chords and put everything she had into the final lines. They were the most important to her not only in this song but in any she had ever written. She sang them with conviction, feeling each one etching onto her skin like a tattoo just for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You told me I was brave and I’ll remember that </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You told me I was brave and I'll remember that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You told me to be brave and I will remember that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You told me to be brave and I will remember that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will remember that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as the final notes faded away the audience erupted into cheers that Julie hardly heard, her eyes pressed tightly shut as she just let the sense of calm that only comes when music is part of her life wash over her. It all still hurt. It all still feelt unfair and hard and impossible to reconcile with what she had hoped for. But she also felt a part of her soul slot back into place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was brave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she was going to be ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not quite as depressing as the last one right? Hang in there...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. We Found Wonderland</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, here it is. Part 3/3 that I'm posting today (if you haven't read the previous 2 go back now) and the last regular chapter of this fic. There's still a nice long epilogue coming to answer all of the questions you might have after you read this and give us true closure but this is still an ending. </p><p>I truly can't put into words what it has meant to write this and have it matter to so many of you so much. I promise I'm just as invested and have had just as many emotional breakdowns over Julie's journey as you have. I hope that in between the angst you were able to laugh and smile at the boys and their banter and dumb decisions. I hope that Julie's journey of self discovery reminded you how strong and brave you have it in you to be even when life is objectively terrible at times. I hope that you will revisit this story from time to time and remember that crazy time when we were all stuck inside during a pandemic, waiting for Netflix to renew our favorite show and keeping each other sane with our love for fictional characters. And I hope that you will join me for the next JATP story I write, whatever that ends up being. </p><p>Thank you for everything. See you in the epilogue. 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 51</p><p>It was strange. She had suspected the two options were that she would return to 2020 either 2 months after she left to reflect the time she was in 1995 or at the exact moment that she had tumbled down that hole through time. She hadn’t considered what had ended up happening...she came back before she left. She came back nearly two months earlier, lining up with when she would have met the guys as ghosts if that event hadn’t been erased by her own actions. So she lived four months over, finding her way back to music in both timelines, finding her way back to herself as she recovered from two very different losses that managed to feel the same somehow. </p><p>She turned 16. Again. </p><p>Her dad started teaching her to drive in earnest, lecturing her fiercely at one point about the importance of keeping two hands on the wheel and staring at her perplexed when she dissolved into a fit of laughter. </p><p>She wrote songs that she sometimes worked up the courage to let Flynn and Nick hear. </p><p>She went to class, and took Carlos to the movies, and lived her life. </p><p>And it wasn’t everything she wanted but it was something. </p><p>She could only hope the same was true for the boys. </p><p>She could only hope the same was true for Luke. </p><p>She still had nightmares sometimes. Often they started as good dreams, dreams where she was back in Wonderland with the guys, eating pizza and making inside jokes and just being together. These dreams usually devolved though into her alone in the garage calling out for them or worse being confronted by the ghost version of Carrie begging Julie for help. When she woke from those nightmares it was all she could do not to crawl into bed with her dad and ask him to make all of her fears and regrets and guilt go away like he had when she was a little girl. </p><p>But she was doing the best that she could. </p><p>She was ok. </p><p>It was something. </p><p>She had accepted that this was what was meant to happen, painful or not. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Flynn who burst into her bedroom out of breath and clutching a piece of brightly colored paper in her hand. Julie raised her eyebrows and waited for her friend to announce why she had apparently run the whole way there. </p><p>“I...huh...I really need to work on my cardio...huh...ok, you have to see this!” </p><p>She collapsed on the bed next to Julie and shoved the flyer she held into Julie’s hands. </p><p>
  <b>FIND ME: THE LUKE PATTERSON BOOK TOUR </b>
</p><p>Julie couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped just like it always did when she unexpectedly read his name or saw his face. She tried to avoid both as much as possible but he was just too famous for her to be able to be completely successful. </p><p>“So what?” Julie struggled to keep her voice steady. “He’s doing some events to promote his book. Makes sense.” </p><p>Flynn stared at her as though she thought Julie was a bit slow. </p><p>“And it just so happens to be called ‘Find Me’? That doesn’t say anything to you?”</p><p>Julie shrugged.</p><p>“It says his manager wants to take advantage of the fact that people are going crazy over that lost Sunset Curve cd. That’s the title of the poem that went with it.” </p><p>Flynn sighed dramatically. </p><p>“Jules, you know I love you, but for someone who has both played in a band with ghosts and fallen in love while on a time travel adventure you don’t have a whimsical bone in your body.” </p><p>Julie frowned and shook her head slightly. </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Flynn snatched back the flyer and stood, waving it for emphasis as she turned to face Julie who still sat on the edge of her bed. </p><p>“It means that this is another sign!”</p><p>Julie rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop herself from turning back to hear her friend out, the first tendrils of treacherous hope clawing their way back into her heart. </p><p>“I’m just saying, it’s not over, Julie!”</p><p>Julie hesitated, logic and love warring in her mind. </p><p>“How can it not be over, Flynn? He’s decades older than me, they all are. I hate that but I can’t change it. Carrie’s gone and I can’t change that either. I want to believe that I can but I just...can’t. It hurts too much to have to accept that over and over.” </p><p>“Maybe it's not as impossible as you think.”</p><p>Julie started to protest but Flynn held up a hand to stop her. </p><p>“I’m just saying look at how many impossible things have happened to you already! And even if you can’t...maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you it’s time to say goodbye. All I know is fate is sending you a message and you’ll regret it forever if you ignore it.” </p><p>Well. It was hard to argue with that. </p><p>So a week later Julie let Flynn lead her to the big bookstore downtown though she insisted on taking up a position along the back wall, letting the large crowd of people push in front of them until they could barely see the raised platform from which Luke would be speaking. </p><p>“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Flynn grumbled, rising onto her toes in an attempt to see over the shoulder of the guy standing in front of her. </p><p>“This is all I can handle, Flynn,” Julie sighed, still fighting the instinct to flee. </p><p>Flynn shot her a sympathetic look and reached out to pat her shoulder comfortingly. </p><p>“You’ve got this,” She insisted. </p><p>Julie just nodded as cheers went up indicating that Luke had taken to the stage. She forced herself to drag her eyes up to the front of the room, peering between the two people in front of her until her gaze landed on his face. Part of her had expected herself to crumble when she saw him, burst into tears and completely breakdown. That wasn’t what happened though. Instead there was only a rush of recognition and the faint tugging sensation in her chest as though something inside of her instinctively knew that if Luke and Julie were in the same room they should be next to each other. She ignored that dangerous impulse, instead leaning further back against the wall behind her and focusing on keeping her breathing steady. </p><p>Seeing Luke in person was a lot like seeing him on tv when a commercial he was in popped up unexpectedly. It was a lot like her life since she returned from 1995 in general. It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t unbearable. It wasn’t everything she wanted. But it was something. </p><p>The event started with him reading an excerpt from his book, some anecdote about his first solo tour and a haywire amp. Julie had read it before but she still chuckled when he reached the punchline of the story, and determinedly ignored how she could feel Flynn watching her out of the corner of her eye. After the reading they opened up for audience questions and fans lined up at a microphone to ask when his next album was coming out and which city was his favorite to play in and did he have any advice for someone learning to play the guitar. She wasn’t paying much attention to the actual questions if she was being honest, just listening to the sound of his voice which was a little deeper and a little gruffer but still so...<em> Luke </em>. She missed that. </p><p>She missed him. </p><p>A woman approached the mic and asked a question that immediately had her tuning back in. </p><p>“The album you made with Sunset Curve is getting a lot of attention lately, especially the poem that went with it.” </p><p>Luke chuckled and shook his head. </p><p>“The first and last poem I ever wrote, luckily for all of you.” </p><p>There was a rumbling of gentle laughter throughout the audience but the woman at the mic seemed undeterred. </p><p>“But it clearly resonated with people! This book tour was even named after it. There’s a lot of speculation about who you wrote it about. So I just want to know did you ever find them? Did they ever find you?”</p><p>“Jules…” She heard Flynn say her name with concern but she ignored her friend in favor of focusing on Luke’s face as it takes on a more serious expression. </p><p>“Uh...no,” He said and then smiled ever so slightly to acknowledge the disappointed noises some of the audience made in response. “When you’re young sometimes you get this idea in your head that love conquers all and you’ll always find your way back to each other but uh...eventually you realize sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is let them go.” </p><p>Julie’s emotions finally broke free, tears blurring her vision as a rushing sound filled her ears. </p><p>She had to get out of there. </p><p>She turned to Flynn and shook her head helplessly, seeing understanding reflected in her best friend’s eyes. </p><p>“I have to go,” She managed to choke out. </p><p>“I’ll go with you,” Flynn said right away only to have Julie shake her head and shove the book she was holding into her friend’s hands. </p><p>“No, I just need a few minutes alone. Stay. Get this signed for me, ok?”</p><p>Flynn looked like she wanted to protest but eventually she sighed and nodded. </p><p>“Text me every ten minutes or I’m calling the police,” She warned before pulling Julie into a tight hug. </p><p>Julie returned the hug for a moment before pulling herself away and hurrying towards the exit. She didn’t regret coming, she knew that part of her was never going to accept the fact that Luke’s life had continued on without her until she saw him for herself. That didn’t make it any easier. She stumbled down the street for a few minutes, very aware that she was attracting some stares from the people she passed, before ducking into an alley in a search for some privacy. Julie decided she cared more about getting her emotions under control than the lackluster cleanliness and leaned back against the wall with her eyes shut as she desperately tried to push back down her surging feelings. </p><p>“You can do this, Julie,” She muttered out loud. “It’s time.” </p><p>“Time is a funny thing isn’t it? Just when you think you have a handle on it, it manages to surprise you.” </p><p>Julie’s eyes flew open and she let out a little shriek of surprise. </p><p>It was Willie. But she knew instantly it wasn’t really Willie. It was whoever had worn Willie’s image to lead her on all of those chases around LA in 1995. There was something about the lilt of his voice and the way he stood. This wasn’t Willie...this was someone else. <em> Something </em>else. </p><p>“This isn’t happening,” Julie said, pushing off of the wall and backing away slightly. </p><p>He grinned mischievously and looked around for a moment before turning to face her again. </p><p>“Pretty sure it is. It’s as real as anything in your life. The question is how real is that exactly?”</p><p>Julie stared him down nervously. </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>He grinned again and nodded down at her shirt. </p><p>“And here I thought you were catching on.” </p><p>Julie frowned and dropped her eyes to her shirt, freezing when she saw what it said. </p><p>
  <em> Everything was a dream  </em>
</p><p>She hadn’t realized she was wearing it, had been lost in thoughts of seeing Luke that morning and had just grabbed a random top from her dresser. She hadn’t even realized that this timeline’s Julie had owned the shirt. That was just a coincidence...right? It couldn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean…</p><p>She looked up quickly, panic rising up as she met the infuriatingly happy expression on his face. </p><p>“This...this isn’t real?” She asked anxiously. “You’re saying this life I’m living isn’t real?”</p><p>He shook his head and chuckled. </p><p>“No, no. Sorry. I admit I was having a little fun with you. It’s not that it’s not real exactly. It’s real just like your life with your ghosts was real, just like your little jaunt to the past was real. But it’s not the only thing that could be real. It’s just one possibility. It’s just one <em> choice </em>.”</p><p>Julie let his words wash over her and tried to make sense of them. </p><p>“What do you mean it’s just one choice? Who gets to choose?” </p><p>He grinned again and waved one hand in Julie’s direction earning him a distrustful look in return. </p><p>“Why would I get to choose? I’m just...I’m just...me.” </p><p>He tilted his head slightly as though her response had confused him before straightening and smiling even wider. </p><p>“Why not you? Who better than Julie Molina? Teenage girl with a good heart and music in her soul. Braver than most. Why not you?” </p><p>Julie felt tears burning at her eyes again though she couldn’t pinpoint why they had chosen this moment to make an appearance. None of this made any sense but then again when was the last time things in her life had made sense? Before she got back from the past? Before she travelled back to the 90s in the first place? Before the guys had been destroyed by jolts or before she had realized ghosts were real? Before...before her mom had died?</p><p>Too many things had happened that were out of her control. </p><p>If she had a choice...if she had a chance...she was taking it. </p><p>“What do I have to do?” She asked quietly, her voice steadier than she had expected it to be. </p><p>He snapped his fingers and a familiar dark, nothingness contained in a perfectly round hole appeared on the ground between them. </p><p>For once Julie didn’t hesitate. </p><p>She strode directly to the portal ignoring its strange heavy energy. She sat down on the edge, dangling in first one leg than the other. </p><p>Then she fell. </p><p>Unlike her past experiences she fell for only a few moments before she found herself deposited on her feet. The not Willie who still looked exactly like Willie stood directly in front of her, both of them bathed in a spotlight that seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. Beyond the edge of the light was...nothing. A blackness that pressed in on them from all sides. </p><p>“This is the dark room the boys were in right?” She asked, glancing around even though there was absolutely nothing to see. </p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“I wouldn’t call it a room exactly but yeah.” </p><p>“Why are we here?” Julie pushed, feeling the urge to shiver despite the fact that she wasn’t cold or warm or anything really. </p><p>“This is the in between,” He shrugged. “All of time, all of possibility, all of before and after, life and death...it all comes together here. It’s the perfect place to decide.”</p><p>“To decide what?” Julie demanded, more than a little unnerved and frustrated by how little she still understood about what was happening. </p><p>“Decide what world you want to live in,” He said as though it should have been obvious. </p><p>“I don’t understand,” Julie said desperately. “Who are you? Why do you look like Willie? What was the point of all of this?”</p><p>He laughed and shook his head. </p><p>“You’re just like your mother, you know that? She had a lot of questions too.” </p><p>Julie reeled back at the mention of her mom. </p><p>“You know my mom?”</p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“She was assigned to me after she died. I’m an unfinished business agent for the other side.” </p><p>“What’s that? Are you like...an angel?”</p><p>That had him throwing back his head to laugh even more loudly than before. </p><p>“You could say that but none of us use that term, just so you know. It’s a little pretentious. Anyway, it’s my job to greet people here and figure out if they have unfinished business and how long they would need to solve it. We can’t approve everyone or Earth would be nothing but restless spirits. I take on the form of someone the person trusts but doesn't have a direct personal connection to. It seems to work out best that way.” </p><p>“Who did you appear as to my mom?” She asked curiously. </p><p>“David Bowie.’ </p><p>Well, that made sense. </p><p>“Your mom was special though. She sacrificed her chance to come back for someone else.” </p><p>Julie sucked in a startled breath. </p><p>“Who?”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow before answering matter of factly. </p><p>“I think you know. She knew that they needed a second chance more than she did. She also knew that you needed them.”</p><p>Julie shook her head as confused thoughts swirled within her mind leaving her almost dizzy when combined with the strange atmosphere of this unnatural place. </p><p>“How would she know that? Weren’t they just some guys she met once at a club at that point?” She asked. </p><p>He shrugged. </p><p>“I told you, this is the point where everything meets. Once she got here she knew they were tied to you even if she didn’t know how exactly. Your boys knew the same even if they didn’t remember once they popped back out.” </p><p>“My mom gave up her chance to come back for them,” She repeated slowly, turning the words over on her tongue as though testing them for truthfulness. “So does that mean everything that happened with me afterwards was inevitable? It was always meant to happen?”</p><p>He took an excited step forward, that eager grin back on his face. </p><p>“No! That’s the beautiful part. It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you it’s all about choices. You didn’t have to try to help them cross over but you did. You didn’t have to follow a ghost you didn’t know to a portal through time to try to save them but you <em> did </em> . We may facilitate things when it suits us Julie but there’s no set path for anyone to follow. Every place I guided you, every time the portal appeared? All of that was influenced by your own desires, what you wanted or thought you wanted. The possibilities are infinite and the choices are your own and your choices? Your choices were to embrace your gifts even when it would be less painful to ignore them and to help others even when it hurt and to love like you had forever even when you knew you didn’t. You <em> chose </em> Julie and you chose <em> well </em>. So you’ve earned one more choice. What world do you want to live in?”</p><p>Julie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and let images flash through her mind. </p><p>Boys loading a van. </p><p>Someone tucking her in. </p><p>A reluctant hug. </p><p>A piggyback ride. </p><p>A stolen beanie. </p><p>Someone almost dropping her. </p><p>A face an inch away from hers, a blanket shutting out the world around them. </p><p>Her mom…</p><p>“I’m sorry,” He broke in as though he somehow knew exactly what she was thinking, which in retrospect he probably did. “It doesn’t work like that. She made her choice a long time ago.”</p><p>“But…” Julie struggled to speak around the sudden lump in her throat. “It’s not fair. How can I create some perfect world without her in it?” </p><p>His eyes softened, his previous irreverent manner melting into something more empathetic. </p><p>“There’s no such thing as a perfect world, Julie. Not even when magic’s involved.” </p><p>She nodded, avoiding his eyes as she did her best to force down her swelling emotions. </p><p>“What do I have to do?”</p><p>“Dream,” He said simply when she managed to raise her eyes back up to meet his. “Just dream, Julie.” </p><p>Then he faded out of existence leaving her alone. </p><p>She sank down onto the ground and tucked her knees up so that she could lean down and rest her head on them. She closed her eyes and tried to block out the strangeness of this place she was stranded in. How could this be possible? Was she really supposed to believe whoever was in charge had bestowed the ability to shape reality on her? How could she possibly do that? How could they possibly think she deserved to? </p><p>She allowed her mind to drift back over everything that had happened, memories fading into voices that echoed in her mind. </p><p>
  <em> We are such stuff as dreams are made of… </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know I might screw up sometimes or push too hard or make things worse...but all I want is for you guys to be happy and have the lives you deserve. That’s my true thing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If you find you don’t like the way your life is going you can always change course. You’re in control, Julie, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Let’s create our own world. Screw everyone else.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  It wouldn’t be real, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That’s not how it works. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  Who gets to decide that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m pretty sure you’re in charge of the universe at this point, so just go ahead and approve it for us, ok? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You have so much ahead of you, a whole world you’re going to create for yourself.  </em>
</p><p>So Julie dreamed. </p><p>She dreamed of boys loading a van, someone tucking her in, a reluctant hug, a piggyback ride, a stolen beanie, someone almost dropping her, a face an inch away from hers, a blanket shutting out the world around them. </p><p>She dreamed of all that and more. So much more. And when she opened her eyes it was to the feel of a soft hand brushing along her forehead. </p><p>“Mom?” She whispered, not daring to believe what she saw in front of her. </p><p>Not Rose but her mom. Here in front of her. </p><p>“Hi, Baby,” Her mom smiled softly. </p><p>Julie didn’t hesitate for another moment, leaping into her mother’s arms. She wrapped her arms so tight around her neck that she was sure it would hurt if pain was something that existed in this strange, nothing place. They held each other for what might have been a few seconds or maybe a few hours before Julie finally pulled back reluctantly. </p><p>“I thought I couldn’t bring you back,” Julie said, her voice thick with tears. “He said…” </p><p>“I can be very persuasive,” Her mom grinned before stroking her hand gently over Julie’s hair. “But I don’t have long.” </p><p>Julie shook her head not wanting to accept the truth of her mom’s words. </p><p>“Hey, none of that now,” Her mom insisted, a soft smile remaining on her face as she examined her daughter fondly. “I’m ok, Julie. I’m in a good place and we’ll see each other again. But you have a lot to do first.” </p><p>“I don’t know if I can do it without you,” Julie admitted. </p><p>Her mom gripped her by both shoulders and met her eyes directly, the look she fixed her daughter with sending memories of her time with the young Rose racing through her mind. </p><p>“You absolutely can, and do you know why?”</p><p>Julie managed a small smile. </p><p>“Because I’m Rose Molina’s daughter?”</p><p>Her mom shook her head. </p><p>“Because you’re Julie Molina. And that’s enough. It always was.” </p><p>Julie wrapped her arms around her mom’s waist and buried her face against her, trying to absorb as much of the feeling as she possibly could. All too soon her mother pulled away. </p><p>“I have to go, Sweetheart. But I’ll be with you always, don’t ever forget that.” </p><p>Julie nodded through her lingering tears. </p><p>“What now?”</p><p>Her mom smiled and reached down to gently stroke her cheek one more time. </p><p>“Now it’s time to wake up, Julie.”</p><p>Julie instantly felt herself drifting into the nothing that surrounded them, her eyes sliding closed. </p><p>She could have sworn she could hear a voice that sounded like Bobby’s far off in the distance, reciting words that her muddled brain could hardly make sense of. </p><p>
  <em> Wake up, Alice dear! Why, what a long sleep you’ve had!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was a curious dream, dear, certainly. But now run in to your tea. It’s getting late. </em>
</p><p>Julie sat up with a gasp, struggling to catch her breath and slow the pounding of her heart. She whipped her head around from left to right desperate to take in her surroundings and find out if she was waking into the world she had left or the one she had wished into existence. </p><p>She was in her room. Her <em> real </em> room. </p><p>Julie practically leapt across her bed to reach for her phone, flicking open Flynn’s contact and firing off a text message as quick as her thumbs would allow. </p><p>
  <em> Tell me you know who Carrie is  </em>
</p><p>The response came back almost immediately. </p><p>
  <em> Is this a trick question  </em>
</p><p>Before Julie could answer her phone buzzed indicating that Flynn was Facetiming her. Julie answered quickly, holding the phone up in front of her as her best friend’s face filled the screen. </p><p>“Jules? Are you feeling ok? Also, are you still in bed? I know it’s Saturday but it’s almost noon, girl.” </p><p>“Can you just answer my question?” Julie asked hurriedly, her heart still pounding out an erratic rhythm. “Do you know who Carrie is?” </p><p>Flynn raised one eyebrow before swiveling her phone until another girl’s face appeared next to hers. </p><p>“You mean our best friend who happens to be right beside me? Yeah, I’d say I know who she is.” </p><p>Julie burst out laughing, unable to contain the pure joy that erupted from her at that moment. </p><p>It had worked! </p><p>“Julie...what have we told you about watching those ghost shows with Carlos before you go to sleep?” Carrie broke in, her expression amused. “They always make you have weird dreams.” </p><p>“The weirdest,” Julie agreed with another giggle. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you guys later.” </p><p>She ended the call before they could remark further on her weird behavior, quickly pulling up the browser on her phone so that she could google Sunset Curve. There were no results related to a band at all. She felt her heart sink as she scrolled through the irrelevant results. It was good news that nothing about them being a Hollywood tragedy or memory had popped up but part of her had been hoping there would be an article about an upcoming band instead. It would have been so nice to have her success confirmed, to know that they were alive and well and...young. </p><p>How would she even find them? Luke Patterson wasn’t the most unique name to search social media for and…</p><p>Julie forced herself to slow her thoughts and suck in a much needed deep breath.</p><p>If it had truly worked then she had all the time in the world. And if it hadn’t...she couldn’t face that possibility yet. </p><p>She got up and got dressed, heading downstairs to see her dad seated at his computer touching up some of his photos. </p><p>“Good morning, sleepy head,” He greeted her teasingly. “Or is it afternoon? You’re cutting it close.” <br/><br/>“Morning, Dad,” She rolled her eyes even as she secretly relished in getting to hear him say anything to her at all. </p><p>“Oh, before I forget, I wanted to let you know the ad for the garage went up online yesterday. If anyone calls and I’m not here just take a message, ok?” </p><p>Julie frowned. </p><p>“The ad for the garage?” She repeated, her face scrunching up in confusion. </p><p>Her dad sighed. </p><p>“I know it’s a little hard, Julie, but we talked about this. You haven’t been out there since we lost Mom and she wouldn’t want it sitting empty. If someone can use it as a studio space she would want that. We’ll just see who expresses interest in renting it ok? We can always turn them down if it’s not a good fit.” </p><p>Julie wanted to say that she was ready to make music again and that no one else could possibly love that studio the way that she did but before she could two things happened at once. Her dad’s phone rang and someone knocked on the door. </p><p>Her dad grabbed his cell. </p><p>“Would you mind getting that? This is a client.” </p><p>He turned to head deeper into the house to answer the phone and Julie sighed before crossing the distance to the door. Maybe she could go convince her dad to take the ad down later…</p><p>Julie twisted the knob and pulled open the door, freezing once she took in the sight waiting for her on her porch. </p><p>Alex. </p><p>Reggie. </p><p><em> Luke </em>.</p><p>“We’re here about the studio. We saw the ad.” Luke spoke up quickly, that bouncy energy of his obvious as he rocked excitedly on his heels. </p><p>“Ok, how about a hello before you launch into that,” Alex sighed before turning to face her. “Sorry about him. He gets a little over enthusiastic.” </p><p>Luke rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, ok, hi,” He tried again. “I’m Luke by the way.” </p><p>“Reggie!” Reggie piped up with a smile. </p><p>“Alex,” Alex offered. </p><p>“Right and we’re The Phantoms, a band who just happens to be looking for somewhere to rehearse,” Luke continued. “So, is it still available?”</p><p>Julie didn’t say anything at first just beamed at them across the doorway, too many emotions crashing into her at once for her to process any one of them on its own. They were there. It worked. They were there. Her boys were there and she loved them and… </p><p>“I love you guys,” She announced without meaning to, simply unable to keep the words from escaping.</p><p>“You’re a fan?” Luke asked eagerly. </p><p>“How can she be a fan when we haven’t performed anywhere but your Mom’s book club?” Reggie pointed out,</p><p>Alex leaned over to whisper to his friends but it was definitely still loud enough for Julie to hear. </p><p> “She might be a stalker.”</p><p>“She’s not a very prepared stalker,” Reggie hissed back. “I mean, dude, we came to her.”</p><p>Julie couldn’t help it. She let a burst of joyous laughter bubble out of her before launching herself forward, latching her arms around Luke’s neck and tugging him down into a fierce hug. </p><p>“Whoa!” Luke stumbled as she yanked him towards her. “Guys, a little help?”</p><p>Julie squeezed him tightly once more and pulled back but not before she dropped her hand to wrap around his. She didn’t leave him time to protest, simply used their linked hands to tug him off of the porch and towards the garage. Alex and Reggie followed them with matching confused looks on their faces. </p><p>“Hey, hey, where are you taking me?” Luke demanded as he stumbled to a halt. </p><p>Julie just grinned. </p><p>“Wonderland. Come on!” </p><p>And yes, they thought she was crazy (we’re all a little crazy) but they followed her anyway, down the familiar path to the one place where they had always been able to find each other.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More answers and a glimpse into the future in the epilogue but for now hopefully your heart is a little healed by this. 💜💜💜</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Epilogue: Wake up your dream and make it true</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have so much to say but honestly the words are escaping me a bit. Thank you for loving this world(s) and these versions of our favorite characters as much as I do. I feel like most of you probably know how sincere I'm being when I say that writing for this fandom has really saved me this year and I'm grateful to everyone of you for reading and commenting and yelling at me on tumblr. 😊</p><p>If you haven't read my other JATP story Feels Like I've Opened My Eyes Again, now would probably be a good time. I plan to start working on the sequel to that one soon. I'll also be posting some shorter Juke and Willex stuff over on tumblr at pink-flame if you want to join me there. </p><p>I'm not crossing over or anything lol. I'll be here, writing more "slow burn epics" as they were described the other day. 😂 I hope to see you there. </p><p>Follow me on instagram at taryn_the_librarian for selfies and cat photos. </p><p>But until then...enjoy! 💜</p><p>Also, this chapter now has an amazing bonus waiting for you at the end. Marvel at it's beauty and then go follow the magical artist on Instagram at lovelyrubee_art and Tumblr at mamirugbee. DO NOT REPOST please and thank you. You can share from either the official posts on either of those sites.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Epilogue:</b>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Wake up your dream and make it true </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.” - Chapter 12, Alice’s Evidence </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie did not tell them everything immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact that first day she didn’t tell them much of anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had dragged Luke into the garage, Alex and Reggie trailing nervously behind, and thrown out her arms proudly to invite them to take in their surroundings. She could see that Luke was a little distracted from her strange behavior instantly as his eyes swept over the interior eagerly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at all this space!” He exclaimed, backing in a slow circle. “I bet the acoustics in here are killer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah, are we not going to talk about how this probably very nice but a little scary girl just kidnapped you?” Alex asked in exasperation so familiar it had Julie grinning despite the fact that she had just been called scary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think she’s scary,” Reggie countered. “A little weird for sure, but not scary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sweet Reggie. Always the first to try to take her in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah, we should talk about that,” Luke allowed, shooting Julie a slightly distrustful look as he scooted a step further away from her as though she might attack him again at any moment. “After we find out if this studio is still available because it would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The perfect place to get murdered,” Alex muttered under his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie rolled her eyes but her smile stayed firmly in place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were there. They were there in front of her and they were alive and young and </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She could put up with being called a scary, potential murderer for a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s still available,” She answered. “And I can even get my dad to let you guys use it for free.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke’s eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead but she could see the wheels turning eagerly behind his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the catch?” He asked quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie folded her arms a little smugly and tilted her head before giving voice to her condition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No catch. Just let me join the band.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke’s jaw dropped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry what did you just say?” Alex shook his head as he took in her demand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She said we can practice here for free if we let her join the band,” Reggie offered helpfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok...I heard...never mind,” Alex sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just decide you’re in someone’s band because you want to be. Who does that? That’s not how it works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke seemed to have found his voice again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, how does it work,” Julie shrugged calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke blinked at her for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do I have to do to join the band?” Julie asked simply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…” Luke clearly hadn’t expected to actually be asked that question. “You would have to audition and trust me you would want time to prepare because we’re tough...what are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie was already moving to the piano, tugging the sheet covering it off and tossing it to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might be a little out of tune,” She warned them before sitting down and letting her fingers drift to the keys naturally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before any of the guys could comment further Julie played the opening chords of Wake Up, the music her mother had written for her flowing out easily. She didn’t need the sheet music anymore, the song having become part of her a long time ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All she had to do was set them free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She began to sing, the words somehow managing to take on even more meaning for her than the first time they had helped her to find her way back to music. She had felt so alone so many times in the past year but the truth was she never had been alone. Her mom had been there all along making sure that she had what she needed to find her way back to herself. Making sure that she had </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span> she needed. And now that Julie finally, finally felt at home in her own skin again, here in the world she had created through love and hope and sheer force of will...nothing was taking that away from her. Not Caleb or fate or time or her own doubts and fears. No world was perfect and nothing was guaranteed. But this was her life, the one she chose for herself, and she was ready to start living it to the fullest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the last notes of the song faded away she looked up to meet the stunned gazes of the guys, Luke’s looking particularly starry eyed and dumbstruck. She couldn’t help but giggle a little at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, she had him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was…” He started before trailing off, his voice going a little high and squeaky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing!” Reggie chimed in excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” Alex added. “Seriously.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t seem like Luke had meant to say that if the way he glanced awkwardly at his friends and reached up to tug anxiously at the hair at the nape of his neck was any indication. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s not really our style but there’s definitely something there. Did you write that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie smiled softly as she reached out to trace the top of the piano with gentle fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My mom did. She passed away last year.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” Luke said quickly. “She was an amazing songwriter.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Julie said without a hint of sadness, just pride and love. “She was. So...can I join your band?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Luke said with forced hesitation that didn’t fool her at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we’re joining your band,” Alex offered. “Murderer or not, that was too good to pass up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you have the voice of an angel,” Reggie praised. “With you as our lead singer we could be legendary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I’m our lead singer,” Luke protested before glancing over at Julie and something that looked suspiciously like a blush stealing over his cheeks. “But I guess co-leads could be cool. If you want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie could feel the echoes of all of the lives they had lived together before wash over her, all the pain and the joy and the friendship and the love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were her band. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were in Wonderland, the new version they would carve out together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And for the first time in a very long time...there was no part of her that wanted to be anywhere else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” She grinned, eyes locking with Luke as their entire lives flashed before her eyes. “Cause I know exactly what we should be called.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Julie may not have told them much of anything that first day but that didn’t mean that she hadn’t learned from her mistakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few weeks passed and as she watched the way they had all settled into each other’s lives as though they had always been there she decided it was time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gathered them in Wonderland, fresh off the high of an amazing practice session and sucked in a nervous, shaky breath. Her hands squeezed at each other anxiously as she tried to decide how to start only for Luke to reach over to still them with the weight of his own seemingly without realizing what he had done. Julie glanced up at him gratefully. It wasn’t exactly the kind of sign that Flynn was always talking about but it was exactly the one she needed in that moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to tell you guys something,” She said, her voice stronger than she expected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She told them about hotdogs, and ghosts, and bands and failed plans to cross over. She told them about time travel and found family and pop stars and record deals and golden magic escaping into the night. She told them about 25 years in a dark room before 25 more years spent apart. She told them about waking up into the only world she had ever wanted in the first place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she waited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t easy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In true Reggie fashion he believed her right away. He tugged her into a tight hug, thanked her, peppered her with excited questions.  Julie did her best to answer them but she kept one eye on the expressions on both Alex and Luke’s faces. Neither of them were ready to believe her just yet. In the end she played Bright for them, a song that Luke had written so recently that apparently not even Alex or Reggie had heard it yet. It was hard to deny the truth after that though they did throw out a few other options (stalker, psychic, witch). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex reacted with mild panic, asking her endless questions in a desperate bid to understand everything that had happened to them. She did her best to answer them despite the fact that there were so many things she still didn’t fully understand herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was Luke able to remove your stamp but you weren’t able to remove ours?” He asked at one point as he paced the length of the garage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t really know the answer to that, hadn’t exactly had time to stop and ask Not Willie when so much was happening. But she had a guess. She glanced over at Luke who was studiously avoiding looking at her, suddenly finding his vans incredibly interesting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it’s because I didn’t think I could save you but he believed he could, even if he didn’t know what he was really saving me from,” Julie suggested hesitantly. “Or maybe...maybe we were more connected by then. All I know is he did save me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you saved him,” Reggie pointed out. “All of us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all saved me too,” Julie added quickly as Luke’s eyes finally raised to meet hers searchingly. “We’re good at that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Luke finally did speak his first reaction was anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who did she think she was to change their whole lives? Didn’t they get a choice? Were they even real anymore? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would have been naive to think that they would accept her story without any disbelief, or confusion or hurt. They weren’t just figments of her imagination yanked into existence to make her life better. They were real and whole and </span>
  <em>
    <span>people </span>
  </em>
  <span>and they deserved to know the truth, even if part of her thought it might be impossible for them to accept. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was impossible (but all the best things are). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because almost as quickly as it came, Luke’s anger faded away as her story truly sank in. In this life he never ran away. His parents had been hesitant about his rockstar dreams but in the end they had come around, even offering to help pay for a rehearsal space if he could find one. They didn’t always understand him but they were trying. Reggie’s dad had left when he was small, and it had been hard with just him and his mom, but his life had been full of her love and attention. Alex’s parents were still a little distracted, both of them seeming to put more energy into his older sister’s academic success than his musical accomplishments. But they loved him and they accepted him, just as he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of it was perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he understood how much she had risked for them. How he would never be able to repay her for that even though she wasn’t asking him to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they found their way back to each other, relearning how to be a band, and friends and family with all of this new, impossible information hovering between them. It took a little time but they got there. Together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were good at that. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Of course, the newly solid presence of the boys in 2020 wasn’t the only change to her life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was also Carrie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carrie was back and she was the Carrie that Julie had loved like a sister when they were younger, before time and boys and attention had come between them. She was still Carrie, always ready with a snappy comeback, always ready to take center stage at the first opportunity. But the difference was she was eager now to tug Flynn and Julie up to stand beside her, all of them spending countless nights sleeping over at each other’s houses, giggling late into the night. It was during one of those sleepovers that Julie finally gathered the courage to tell them the truth about everything she had been through, spilling her truth and waiting nervously for their reactions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yes, Flynn threatened to get her dad involved out of concern for her mental health (again) and Carrie found the idea of a world without her completely laughable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But eventually they believed her and Julie couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have two amazing best friends beside her as she navigated this new world she had stepped into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t fully understand Carrie’s newfound kindness until she went over to her house for the first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julie! Long time no see.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She froze taking in the man greeting her in the doorway, the man she had known as Trevor but who could now never be anything but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby </span>
  </em>
  <span>to her now, no matter how old he was. She couldn’t help but be choked with emotion. She did her best to hide it as she took in the sight of him as the grown man she had known first. Her mom hadn’t been the only reminder that there was no such thing as perfect. Bobby had stung just as much. She could save Carrie. She could keep Bobby for herself and for Luke and the boys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t do both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Mr. Wilson,” She answered finally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He surprised her by pulling her into a one armed hug, his voice warm as he corrected her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you can call me Bobby, Jules,” He insisted as he led her inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby. Not Trevor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe she thinks you’re trying too hard to be cool, babe,” Another voice emerged from the kitchen. “Just because you’re practically her second father doesn’t mean you’re not intensely embarrassing in your old age.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Queenie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby rolled his eyes, but released his grip on Julie so he could greet his wife with a kiss to the cheek and a arm wrapped loosely around her waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Queenie turned to Julie with a smile before raising an eyebrow when she caught sight of the look on Julie’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie just shook her head and smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The opposite actually. I’m just really glad to see you two happy together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Queenie’s expression softened and she untangled herself from Bobby’s side to pull Julie into a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked just like your mom just now, you know that?” Queenie asked as she pulled back just far enough to brush a gentle hand against Julie’s cheek. “I miss her too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a world where she still didn’t have her mom in front of her but she had her mom’s best friend. She had Bobby. And they had each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It turned out that Bobby was still a famous musician only with his own songs, the kind he had always wanted to write. They were slower and more introspective than Luke’s stuff tended to be, the kind of music meant to be played on an acoustic guitar and packed with tons of literary references, the kind you could listen to while you meditated or contemplated your life staring out a coffee shop window. Queenie was a retired pop star and had left behind her dad’s record label a long time ago before it was subsequently shut down due to tax evasion and contract fraud. She now ran three different charities and struck fear into the heart of anyone who dared to try to slow down her efforts to save the world with bureaucratic red tape. She also helped to produce all of Bobby’s music, her understanding of the industry and his sincere lyrics turning out to be a combination that had been successful many times over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time that Julie introduced the rest of the guys to Bobby she was a little worried that it wouldn’t go well. After all, Bobby was so much older than them now and had no idea about the past connection between them. She had considered telling him but in the end the boys had asked her not to. There was too much baggage with the choices Bobby had made in the past, the blame that his friends had placed on him, fair or not. They didn’t want that burden to follow any of them into this second (third?) chance. So when Bobby invited them over so he could hear Julie’s new band for himself, she was nervous. In the end she had nothing to worry about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Within five minutes Bobby was tossing ideas back and forth with Luke and joking with Alex and proudly showing Reggie the vintage guitar that had been a gift from Dolly Parton. They got so loud and excited as he led them off to show them his home studio that Queenie sidled up beside Julie to share an affectionately exasperated look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He really is a big teenager even after all this time,” She said through a chuckle. “He really likes those boys of yours.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie smiled at their retreating forms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he does. They really like him too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, Bobby never really had best friends growing up. He’s had a great life but I think with all you kids...this is the happiest he’s ever been.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie leaned into Queenie’s side, closing her eyes as she leaned her head onto her shoulder. It wasn’t her mom. But it was something. It was something good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The band was everything to them but they don’t rush things this time around. It’s true, she and Luke spent almost every spare moment in the garage, hunched over a notebook, shoulders brushing as lyrics and melodies flowed between them. They practiced and performed at school, both Julie’s and the public one a few neighborhoods away that the boys attended. Bobby had them over to record some of their songs and they were getting decent streams, Edge of Great even going mildly viral after an actress on one of the popular teen shows had included it in a playlist she shared. But they didn’t push it, no sneaking out to play the club scene at 2am or signing with the manager that had expressed interest after their gig at Eats &amp; Beats. Luke’s parents and Julie’s dad were both keen for them to keep school a priority, and suddenly that didn’t feel like such a hardship to Julie. She wanted to be a kid. She wanted to have her family and Julie and the Phantoms and her friends and let whatever happened happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had faith it would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t need it to all happen right then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Luke had been a little hard to convince at first, all of that passion running through his veins full throttle, especially after hearing that he had almost achieved his dream twice already. But as the days went by she could see the way he settled slightly, still just as passionate, still full of dreams just as big, but appreciating the moment they were actually in just a bit more. One of the true joys of this third chance was getting to have her family and her chosen family weave and intertwine. The boys had started coming in for dinner after many of their rehearsal sessions and her dad had taken to all of them immediately. Unsurprisingly Reggie slotted into her family the most fully, hanging out with Carlos and letting her dad talk to him about cameras for hours at a time with a blissful smile on his face. But they all found their place, walking in and out of the house like it was theirs and joining Julie, Carrie and Flynn for movie nights, piled around their tv. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t ask for a better family or friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The band was doing great and she had no doubt it would only do better in the future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that left her feeling a little disappointed was her relationship with Luke. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that her lack of relationship with Luke was disappointing her. When she had first travelled to the past it had been so foreign to be able to touch him that each time she had done so had felt charged and strange. But after two months spent holding his hand and letting him spin her around and sleeping curled up in his arms...now not touching him was what felt strange. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it wasn’t like they weren’t close because they were. They wrote together, poured their souls out together, and sang together, staring into each other’s eyes with as much sizzling chemistry as ever. They hung out together when music wasn’t involved too, making each other laugh about dumb things, and arguing about which movie to watch and sometimes just smiling at each other for no reason at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was great. They were great. Except… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not the way they had been in the past he didn’t remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t reach for each other easily without thinking about it, they didn’t fall asleep next to each other after whispering about nothing in the dark, they didn’t...well, his lips hadn’t been anywhere near to hers, that was for sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it wasn’t like she could blame him for not making a move. It had to be weird to have someone you had only known for a few weeks announce that actually you were in love in another life. It didn’t matter that months had passed since then. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be with her because of the pressure of the past or fate or whatever. But she still ached for him. Not that she would say that out loud. She could handle just being his friend and bandmate. She could. She totally could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until she couldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t meant to kiss him exactly when they stumbled off stage together after a particularly good performance, adrenaline and joy surging through her veins like a drug as the cheers from the crowd echoed in her ears. Alex and Reggie had headed out to find their families but Julie had just lingered in the hallway for a moment, letting the rush wear off as she leaned against the wall happily. But suddenly Luke was there, grinning down at her, saying something about how they had rocked it and how the crowd was loving her and how she was a star and this was the best night of his life and then it just...sort of happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She surged up onto her toes, wrapping one hand around the back of his neck and the other resting on his cheek. She pressed her lips into his firmly, swallowing down the surprised noise he made before she had fully realized what she had done. Once the realization hit her she started to pull back, already preparing in her mind the speech she would make about respecting boundaries and how she never meant to make him uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t get far though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke’s arms latched around her shoulders, tugging her more firmly against him as his lips eagerly sought to return the pressure where they met hers. One of his hands slid up to glide across the back of her neck and Julie shivered into their kiss, the small gasp she made quickly being fully taken advantage of by the boy in front of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, ok, well, didn’t mean to interrupt but maybe you shouldn’t do that here. Or at all. Until you’re thirty.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leapt apart from each other to take in the sight of a flustered Bobby standing a few feet away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, she supposed some things never changed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were just…” Luke tried only to be cut off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I saw. I might have to burn my eyes out but I saw. Look, I think you kids could be good for each other just...be safe, ok?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God,” Julie buried her face in her hands before sagging against Luke’s chest, feeling his chuckle rumble out from under her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then they were alone again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it weird that I still feel like he’s one of my best friends?” Luke asked through a laugh.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t answer, didn’t even raise her head, embarrassment over Bobby’s attempt at a fatherly warning shifting into fear over where she and Luke stood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jules, can you look at me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie didn’t particularly want to in that moment but she had a hard time denying him anything. So she did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Julie...I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. I’m definitely going to want to do it again. So if you don’t want that...I need you to tell me now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie blinked up at him in confusion. Whatever she had been expecting him to say it hadn’t been that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I thought...I thought you didn’t want to. I thought you were weirded out by everything that happened or felt pressured or something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned as he took in her words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you wouldn’t want me to,” He admitted, reaching up to brush a curl away from her face gently. “Because I’m not...him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie felt her gaze soften as it danced across the face of the impossible boy in front of her. She reached out to rest one hand over his heart, the steady beating under her palm soothing her nerves and bringing her home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>him,” She insisted softly. “It’s always been you, Luke. It always will be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A slow grin spread across his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then their heads were dipping towards each other and they didn’t say anything else for several long minutes. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>She wasn’t the only one who needed a little push when it came to finding who you were meant to be with in this new reality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” Alex groaned as Julie dragged him down the sidewalk, names of movie stars passing beneath their feet as they dodged costumed characters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see,” She insisted brightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t been sure at first that all of her hopes and dreams and wishes had panned out when she first woke up in this world. The last thing she had wanted to do was get Alex’s hopes up, especially after witnessing what she had in 95. So she had done research first, checking all of the likely spots until one day she saw him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Willie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was here. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And he was waiting for Alex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t know it yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, stand right here,” Julie said as she finally came to a stop, dragging Alex to the center of the sidewalk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julie, what scheme do you have me wrapped up in now?” Alex sighed. “You know I don’t like surprises. In fact I hate them…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll like this one I promise, trust me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie glanced behind Alex and grinned. Right on time. Julie jumped to the side just in time to see Alex go flying towards the pavement as a blur of skateboarding boy crashed directly into him. She cringed a little when her friend made impact with the ground but she knew he would be ok. He would thank her later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Owww,” Alex groaned as he rolled over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both stumbled to their feet and Willie held up his skateboard for closer inspection while Alex gripped at his elbow in annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa, man, you dinged my board,” Willie announced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dinged your board? Dude, you ran me over! You know you can’t just pass through people right?” Alex shot back. “Wait…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced over at Julie who was watching them with the same look she got when she watched those romantic comedies she loved so much. She saw realization dawn on his face as he spun back to face Willie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait you’re...you,” He blurted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Willie gave him a look that was both confused and amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah. Ever since I was born. Look, I’m sorry I pancaked you. I’m Willie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held out his hand and Alex shook it before pulling his away and wiping what she could only guess was sweat on his pants. Oh, Alex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alex,” He offered. “Uh, actually I was thinking about learning to skate.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Willie chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Alex answered in a rush. “Any advice?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Willie bit his lip and grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, stand on the board...and don’t fall off.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, yeah, great.” Alex laughed nervously. “Do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s kind of your thing, isn’t it?” Willie smiled, as he dropped his board, poised to skate away. “Alright, you just gotta keep up, pancake.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed off and glided away down the sidewalk leaving Alex to call after him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, really don’t like that nickname. That’s how I almost died!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at Julie who gestured frantically in the direction Willie was quickly disappearing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you waiting for? Go!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex grinned gratefully and took off leaving Julie to watch him disappear into the distance after Willie, only a few feet separating them instead of an invisible barrier this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that another piece slotted into place, right where it was always meant to fit.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>She didn’t bring anything with her when she woke up in this world, not the torn copy of Alice in Wonderland, not Teddy Luke. She knew it was silly to be hung up on physical objects when she had all of the things...people...she really needed. She had never even bothered to mention most of them when she told the guys stories about their past, not seeing the point. But sometimes she did miss them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The funny thing was just like the echoes of moments and conversations that seemed to crash their way into every version of her existence, some of those objects started to find their way back to her too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first was a teddy bear that Reggie won her when he took her and Carlos to his school’s carnival. Luke had tagged along reluctantly, claiming it wasn’t his scene but changing his tune when Julie mentioned needing someone to hold her hand while she rode the ferris wheel in case her fear of heights kicked in. Of course, she didn’t actually have a fear of heights but that wasn’t the point. They ended up having a great night, feeding each other cotton candy and laughing when their hands stuck together from the residue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was Reggie who spotted the bear and decided she needed to have it, handing over most of his tickets until he was finally able to defeat the ring toss and hand it to her triumphantly. It couldn’t be the same bear, she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that but as she thanked him and buried her face in its familiar soft fur it felt like a piece of her heart coming home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to name him?” Luke asked, looking down at her like she was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie grinned and started to walk away to catch up with Reggie and Carlos before spinning to call back to him while walking backwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luke. Definitely Luke.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. Grinned. Ran to catch up with her and spun her in a quick circle before depositing her back on the ground dizzy and ecstatic. He told her he loved for the first (50th? Hundredth?) time that night as they teetered at the top of the ferris wheel and when her eyes slipped closed and her body turned towards his it was out of love not fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told her later he had a dream that night, an impossibly long dream where he met her first as a ghost and then in the past. They couldn’t be sure if it was some impossible memory or just echoes of what she had told him but they decided it didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was Luke and he was hers, just like he always was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next object that came back to her was an even more unexpected one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke’s 18th birthday arrived and they all gave him their gifts (Julie drew him a portrait of the band with his lyrics scribbled artfully in the background...there may have been some glitter) but it was Bobby’s gift that ended up stealing the show. He led them outside and gestured proudly at an old white van parked at the end of Julie’s driveway, depositing the keys into Luke’s outstretched hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t keep scrambling to get your gear to gigs now that things are picking up for the band,” Bobby explained. “She’s a little older but she’ll get you where you need to go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Julie knew this wasn’t the same van, it was old but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> old, knew that Bobby could have bought Luke something brand new and fancy but understood that he would prefer this instead. But it was almost identical to the van that Bobby had entrusted them with so many times before, where so many memories had been made, and Julie wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry or both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make sure you give it a name,” Bobby instructed as Luke ran his hand excitedly over the hood. “A car should always have a name.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke turned to Julie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any ideas?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She just shook her head ruefully, already imagining Bobby’s less than enthused reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might have one, yeah. And by the way...don’t even think about not letting me help load stuff in it, ok?”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Things with the band really started to take off during her senior year. They had been slowly starting to build to bigger and bigger venues and they were starting to seriously entertain offers from managers and labels. It was time to start thinking about next steps and possibly even signing contracts, contracts which would be read several times over and cleared with a lawyer </span>
  <em>
    <span>first</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was something else coming up that Julie was excited about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her 18th birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had always loved birthdays, even more so since she turned 16 (the first time) surrounded by her newfound family in a place she had only just come to know as Wonderland. But something about this birthday had an extra surge of excitement tingling through her veins and butterflies erupting in her stomach. Things had been good for so long by then, not perfect because that’s not real, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> and for the first time in a long time Julie felt like she could truy look forward to the future. Not as something stretching painfully out in front of her without her mom, not something that was waiting to force the boys to cross over or for her to abandon them in the past. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The future was what she made it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she couldn’t wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was just finishing pulling her hair back on the big night when there was a knock at the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in!” She called out, adjusting her necklaces as she took one last look in the mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful,” Reggie said with a smile from the doorway. “I can’t believe you’re 18. It feels like just yesterday you were a little baby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie rolled her eyes even as an affectionate smile crept on to her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t meet me until I was almost 16,” She reminded him. “And you’re only a year older than me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reggie crossed the space between them and reached down to grab her hand, tugging her to her feet and then spinning her in a circle that left her dress fanning out and her giggling breathlessly. She stumbled to a stop and he patted her on the head like she really was a little kid and not his legally adult bandmate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just let me have this moment, Julie,” He teased. “Pretty soon you’re not even going to want to watch Star Wars with me anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled him into a hug, giving him a firm squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never, Reg.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t tell him that she only watched them because he liked them. She thought he probably knew that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was kind of the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, everybody’s waiting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let Reggie lead her down the stairs and into the living room where just about everyone that she loved were all gathered waiting for her. Her dad was chatting to Bobby and Queenie who had come over for dinner earlier. Nick and Luke were listening with amused expressions while Carlos told them about his latest baseball game and Flynn, Carrie and Alex were having what she suspected was a dance related discussion if the way Alex occasionally wiggled his shoulders was any indication. Willie stood next to Alex, watching his boyfriend’s antics with an affectionate smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hoped she would never get used to this feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dad insisted on taking photos before they left and despite Julie’s protests that it was a birthday not the prom, she let him gather all of her friends together before snapping several shots with his good camera. She even let him take a few of just her and Luke. They stood awkwardly just a little too far apart at first, very aware that they had a very large, very invested audience staring them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on get a little closer together,” Her dad instructed. “Act like you like each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie couldn’t help but laugh as he echoed Rose’s instructions from so long ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was small as far as signs went. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she knew better than to ignore them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that she really wanted to ignore this one anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wrapped her arm around Luke’s waist and took a step towards him, allowing him to tug her even closer once she was there. Their heads automatically tilted towards each other and her dad grinned victoriously before snapping a series of pictures. Julie couldn’t wait to see them if she was honest. She had picked out one of her favorite dresses for the occasion, pale green and covered with tiny flowers, a knot tied along the neckline giving it just enough something extra to offset the sweetness of the design. And Luke…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel so special,” She whispered to him as her friends gathered their things in preparation to leave. “You wore a shirt with </span>
  <em>
    <span>sleeves</span>
  </em>
  <span> and everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Luke grumbled, his arm tightening around her waist in direct contrast to his words. “I wear sleeves sometimes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” She admitted, her tone still teasing. “But this one has </span>
  <em>
    <span>buttons</span>
  </em>
  <span> too…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, that’s it, I’m getting my jacket,” Luke announced, jogging in front of the group to slip into the garage and grab one of the many items of his clothing that had somehow migrated into there during the last two years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes her dad remarked that it practically seemed like he lived out there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t understand why that statement set off a laughing fit in Julie that lasted several minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plan was to head out to an all ages venue down by the beach that had one of her favorite local bands playing that night. They all piled into a few vehicles, Luke of course driving Beatrice with Julie up front next to him. A lost game of rock paper scissors left Alex in the back though his disappointment was short lived once Willie offered to ride back there with them. Once they arrived they all clambered into the club, the already pounding music rushing through Julie like a welcome home. Music always felt like that. But as they made their way to the front of the room to get a better view and warm arms wrapped around her from behind, swaying them gently in time with the beat...she realized music wasn’t the only thing that did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she was finally there to stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night the rest of the group had headed off in search of greasy late night food, Alex’s shout of “no hotdogs” earning him only a burst of laughter from the others. Julie and Luke had fallen behind and if she was being honest what had started as an accident was becoming very much on purpose. Their linked hands swung between them as they enjoyed the easy silence until suddenly Luke tugged her to a stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie spun to face him, prepared to make a teasing remark about how he had been waiting to get her alone but the words died on her lips once she saw the serious look on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” She asked, searching his face for answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing...it’s just...Julie…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before she could press him to finish an actual sentence he pulled a shocked gasp from her by dropping to one knee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luke, what…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fished something out of his pocket and held it up between them, her eyes landing questioningly on it and her world shifting under feet (again) as she realized what it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another object had found its way back to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A purple plastic ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julie...Jules, I know this is probably dumb. But after everything we’ve been through it just doesn’t make any sense to me to have someone you love so much and not try to make sure they know it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luke, I do…” She tried, her voice catching in her throat. “You don’t have to, I mean…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and pressed on, his expression impossibly soft. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do though. I know we’re too young and I know this is just a stupid piece of plastic. I won it at that carnival and stuck it in my pocket to give to you later. I just thought you’d like it. But it’s not just a ring it’s like...a metaphor. For how much I love you. For how it’s always going to be me and you. It’s a...it’s a promise. That I’ll ask you for real someday. Does that make sense?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie reached down to tug him up so she could kiss him with all of the love and pain and joy that three lives could build up between them then let him slip the ring onto her finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It makes sense,” She told him softly, reaching up to brush a flipped up piece of hair away from his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He whispered, a gentle grin growing on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” She whispered back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had experienced so many things that were magical, and impossible and pure nonsense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made perfect sense.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Five years later Julie was turning 23 on the same day Julie and the Phantoms were set to perform at the Billboard Music Awards in support of their first single to hit the top of the charts. It should have been the best day of her life and it might have been if she could just find her lucky ring. She wore it everyday, either on her hand or on a chain around her neck, claiming that it had played a role in all of their success. Until now. She remembered putting it on her dresser before she went to take a shower but by the time she got out it had somehow mysteriously disappeared. It had been over an hour now and Julie was dressed and her makeup was done, things she still prefered to do herself. In fact everything she needed to accomplish before the performance were checked off except finding her lucky ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock at her bedroom door had Julie pausing in her frantic search to roll her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the door didn’t open, Julie sighed and made her way over to wrench it open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you don’t have to knock when you live here...oh.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lost the ability to speak all at once when she took in the sight waiting for her on the other side of her door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Luke, kneeling in her doorway (it was always doorways with them) her lucky ring held up between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you another one,” He started, the words escaping him in a nervous rush. “I just thought this is your birthday and it’s a big night and you always say this ring is lucky and it’s the one I made the promise with and…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her blunt answer seems to take a minute to register. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jules, I’ve loved you since before I knew you and I always will. I know we’re still young, and you might not want...wait, did you say yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” She said again, a grin growing on her face. “Now are you going to get up here and kiss me or stay down there talking crazy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A matching grin stole over his face as he stood to slide the ring back onto her finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re all a little crazy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as she stretched up to throw her arms around his neck and press her lips to his...Julie couldn’t disagree with that. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘‘Twas long ago and yet today </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When our tale came to an end </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Full of love and hope and light </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our heroine took a stand </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why not you, you are enough</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was reminded after she fell</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remember the joy, remember the joy </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But remember the pain as well </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For what is pain after all </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But a reminder on your heart </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And all the love you’ve known before </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will guide you through the dark  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Remember, Remember, little girl </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wake up and choose your way </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all love to visit Wonderland </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this is a new day</span>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/18958043@N05/50986798273/in/dateposted-public/">
    
  </a>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If that doesn't get me forgiven for the angst I don't know what will...</p>
        </blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30393843">Promises Kept</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK/pseuds/ICanSpellConfusionWithAK">ICanSpellConfusionWithAK</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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